Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 291

Resolution update: November 2016

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

I still have fluid trapped behind my eardrum after more than a month, making it impossible to hear out of my left ear, and now I think it might kill me. I am losing my mind.  

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I gained three more pounds in November, mostly because extenuating circumstances have kept me from the gym. Twelve pounds down and eight to go. Looking unlikely... 

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a week.

Done.

4. Practice yoga at least three days a week.

My shoulder is fully healed. I am ready to begin. I plan to jumpstart my yoga practice at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in a week. 

WRITING CAREER

5. Complete my fifth novel before the end of February.

Done!

6. Complete my sixth novel.

I have two novels that are more than halfway finished and one that is finished but requires a complete re-write. However, I'm not sure if any of these will be my next novel.

Not surprising, my editor has some say in this.

I turned in final revisions on my next book today, so the decision process begins next week. The book will not be finished by the end of the year. 

7. Write a proposal for a middle grade novel.

Done! The editor and her team love the book. Some minor revisions are needed, and then we hope to have an offer.

I begin those revisions next week. 

8. Write at least three new picture books. 

One of my now former students and I are writing a picture book. Now that we are back in school, work has commenced again. Our first draft should be completed soon. 

In November, I wrote a picture book about the Presidential election that I sent to my agent and a children's book editor. Both had very good things to say about the book but feel that it is too closely aligned with a specific moment in history to be marketable.

I was disappointed. I think it's a great book. I'm thinking of finding an illustrator and creating a version of the book online.   

One more picture book to go. I've already started writing it.  

9. Complete a book proposal for a book on storytelling.

Done! Five chapters are finished now, plus an outline and comparisons have been re-sent to my agent. She LOVES it. Hopefully a publisher loves it just as much.  

10. Write a new screenplay

No progress yet. I could bang out an idea in a week if I really apply myself. 

11. Write a musical for a summer camp

Done! I had the pleasure of watching the musical performed at the summer camp, and it was fantastic.

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in The New York Times.

I've submitted two Op-Ed pieces to the New York Times and been rejected both times.

I am still working on a new piece. I hope to submit this month.

13. Publish an article in an educational journal.

No progress yet. 

14. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress yet.

15. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

I spent a week backing my car into parking spots (which initially struck me as insane) and wrote about it in August. It actually received a lot of attention from readers.

In September I engaged in a month of daily affirmations. I am nearly finished writing about my experience.   

In November, I engaged in the "sport" of bottle flipping, which is all the rage amongst many young people. I will also be writing about my experience this month.  

16. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 1,000.

Done! My subscriber list now stands at 1,220 readers. My list has grown by 34% in 2016. 

If you'd like to join the masses and receive my monthly newsletter, which contains a writing and storytelling tip, an Internet recommendation, book recommendations, free giveaways, and more, subscribe here:

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17. Collaborate with a former colleague on an educational book.

This project has been cancelled. After meeting with my collaborator, we determined that I am not best suited for this project.  

Oddly enough, that collaborator is now my principal. 

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

Done! We produced a show at Real Art Ways in November, bringing our total number of shows to 17 in 2016. Two more shows scheduled in December.

19. Deliver a TED Talk.

Done twice over! 

I spoke at TEDxNatick in January. The title of the talk was "Live Your Life Like Your 100 Year-Old Self." 
Here's the recording: 

I also spoke at the TEDx conference at The Country School in Madison, CT in April. The title of the talk was "Speak Less. Expect More."  
Here is the recording:

20. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

Done! In October, I attended a Moth StorySLAM at Oberon in Cambridge. This brings my total number of Moth events in 2016 to 24.

21. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

Done! I attended one StorySLAM in November and won (four slams in a row now), bringing my total number of wins to four for 2016 and 27 overall.

22. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

Done! I won the Moth GrandSLAM in Somerville in March. 

23. Launch at least one new podcast.

I have a name. I have begun recording episodes. I still need a logo and I'll be ready to publish.

24. Launch a storytelling project that I will otherwise remain vague about here but will become a primary focus of 2016. 

Work on this project is specifically tied to the sale of my storytelling book. 

NEW PROJECTS

25. Host at least one Shakespeare Circle.

No progress.

26. Learn to cook three good meals for my wife.

I cooked two new meals for Elysha in August thanks to Blue Apron and a friend who was kind enough to pass on meals to me.

I made barbecue pork burgers with onion straws and corn on the cob. I also made curried catfish with coconut rice, green beans, and a raisin chutney. 

I could easily make both again. 

One meal to go. I have an idea.  

27. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

I'm still seeking a location for the reunion near the Heavy Metal Playhouse (since the apartment complex does not have a room to rent) and will then decide upon a date.

MISCELLANEOUS

28. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

No progress. 

29. Optimize our television for a streaming service. 

No progress. I was hoping Elysha would take care of this. 

30. Set a new personal best in golf.

I played one round of golf in November and shot a 51.

As stated previously, I have begun a serious and committed change of my swing under the guidance of a friend who also happens to be an outstanding teacher. As a result, I am hitting the ball farther, higher, and less consistently.

I also have a new grip that I will practice all winter long. 

31. Play poker at least six times in 2016.

I played one game back in April. This saddens me. 

32. Do not speak negatively about another person's physical appearance except when done in jest with my closest friends. 

Done. A wife asked me to comment on her husband's recent weight gain,  but I refused, stating my belief about avoiding commenting on the physical appearance of others.   

Here's a potentially new idea for next year: 

I will not comment on physical appearance - good or bad - in any way unless I am speaking to my wife and children. I already adhere to this policy in the classroom as a teacher, so why not expand it throughout my life? 

My goal is to reduce the amount of attention paid to physical appearance in this society, shifting attention to things that truly matter: words and actions. I understand that one man's crusade may not change the world, but perhaps it will change my world and influence those around me. 

Change often starts small. Sometimes it begins with a single person. And I believe in this cause.  

I'm not sure about this goal yet, but I'm considering it. Thoughts?

33. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

How Can I Pick My Favorite Day?

In October of 2015, I won a Moth StorySLAM at The Bitter End with a story about my first date with Elysha. Shortly after the date, she drew this for me.

Last week, I found the image on my hard drive. It captures the day perfectly.

Such memories it brings back. Such wonderful, heady times. 

Here's the story if you're interested.

This is what the Democratic Party must do now to protect voting rights

It’s time for the Democrats to wage a two front battle on protecting voting rights:

Work tirelessly to eliminate needless and egregious voting restriction laws. Get a voter ID card in the hands of every American, starting with every battleground state. Do this now. 

This strikes me as a no brainer. 

I'm also more than willing to run for President in 2020 if they need me, but this might be a tougher sell. 

I thrive in possibly inappropriately competitive situations.

Next month I will be teaching storytelling at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. This will be my second year teaching at Kripalu and I'm already scheduled to teach there in 2017 as well.

The fact that I teach at Kripalu astounds many. Though my students at Kripalu have assured me that my teaching and beliefs closely align to Kripalu's philosophy and mindset, there are also many way in which I do not seem to fit.

I skip their world class meals and pick up burgers and fries and Egg McMuffins at McDonald's instead.

I was told that I "walk aggressively" and swear more than anyone in Kripalu history.

At silent breakfast, it turns out that even when I don't speak, I still make more noise than anyone else in the room.   

Though I take advantage of their sunrise yoga class, I found the whole thing slow, tedious, and devoid of any competitive incentive. 

This has been my one problem with yoga:

 No one wins at the end of a class. 

In fact, it's the competitive element of The Moth that probably helped me to initially fall in love with storytelling and eventually turned me into a teacher of the craft. It's always an honor and a thrill to stand on a stage and perform for an audience, but when my performance is assigned a numerical value and there is a chance to win or lose, I tend to enjoy the experience a lot more.

In fact, if given the chance, I think I'd rather compete in a Moth StorySLAM than perform in any other show. Give me a couple hundred New Yorkers crammed into a used bookstore with teams of strangers poised to judge my story over a beautiful, acoustically pristine theater filled with a couple thousand audience members and zero competition.

Crazy. I know. But probably true on most nights. 

This is why I was thrilled to discover the sport of competitive juggling. No longer are jugglers permitted to just stand and entertain. Juggling is now a full contact physical sport, complete with strategy, teamwork, and body-on-body physicality.

Competitive juggling is tough. And there are winners and losers after every match.

See for yourself:

My little boy is expanding his horizons.

I opened the pantry this morning, and this is what I found.

Apparently his bedroom isn't big enough.  

Melting ice sucks, but projectiles to the head are bad, too.

There’s been much fear and consternation over the potential loss of the polar bears as a result of the rapid melting of polar ice. Many environmentalists have adopted the polar bear as their symbol of the dangers of global warming.

With this in mind, I think that it might be prudent to revisit the Oslo Agreement, which permits the hunting of this vulnerable species. The treaty allows hunting "by local people using traditional methods," although this has been liberally interpreted by member nations. All nations except Norway allow hunting by the Inuit, and Canada and Denmark allow trophy hunting by tourists.

More than a thousand polar bears per year are killed under the auspices of this treaty.  

While I believe that the preservation of longstanding Native American traditions is a good thing, there are certain customs that we may want to put the kibosh on. For example, scalping was a common practice for certain tribes of North American Indians, but we don’t allow this sort of thing to take place today.

If we are really concerned about the possible extinction of polar bears, why not keep the bullets and arrows out of their heads?

Serious solution if Trump attempts to enact a Muslim registry

Hopefully this will not happen. It's probably a lie or a false innuendo or just plain bluster.

But if Trump actually follows through with his campaign promise to register Muslims, we'll all just register as Muslims.

Right?

No thanks to give on this Thanksgiving

One of the problems with being a reluctant atheist is that there is no one to thank for much of my good fortune. I was born a healthy white male in the United States in the late twentieth century. That alone provides me with advantages that billions of people do not enjoy. In the grand scheme of things, these facts alone are the ones that have made the greatest impact in my life, yet it was only blind luck that made it happen.

Had I been born in parts of Africa, the Middle East, South America, Asia, or hundreds of other locales, I would’ve likely faced hardships that I will never know as an American. Disease, hunger, a lack of basic human rights, Third World economic limitations, and millions of other factors could have hindered my success.

Had I been born a woman, I would have spent my life battling against the proverbial glass ceiling, sex discrimination, unfair wages, the threat of violence, perpetual chills regardless of room temperature, and the stupidity of high heels.

Had I been born a minority, I would’ve undoubtedly faced prejudice and racism throughout much of my life.

Had I been born earlier than 1971, I might have faced combat in Vietnam, Korea, or in the European or Pacific theaters during either of the World Wars. I might've suffered through the Great Depression or the Civil War, or been subjected to untold numbers of diseases that have since been eradicated.

I was born at the dawn of the Internet, a member of the last generation of human beings who spent childhood without the Internet but entered adulthood during its emergence. As a result, I enjoyed an offline childhood but an online adulthood.

Perfection in my opinion.

I'm also healthy and intelligent. I don’t require a great deal of sleep. I have have exceptional blood pressure.

Without even mentioning my remarkable wife, my perfect children, or my assortment of amazing friends, I am already ahead of billions of people on this planet, and it was through no real effort of my own. It was simply a geographic, genetic luck of the draw.

Unlike so many of my idiot white male counterparts who were born on third base believing they hit a triple, I acknowledge the home run that I was born into. 

I feel incredibly fortunate, but I'm left with no one to thank for some of my greatest blessings. I can feel thankful for my good fortune, but there is no one to thank. 

Religion provides some people with the notion that God has placed them in this place, in this time, for a specific purpose. Fate and chance had nothing to do with their birthplace, the color of their skin, or the period in history in which they were born. For the devout, God had a hand in all of these decisions.

At least they have someone to thank.

While I'm envious of the idea that a life is not determined in great part by luck, I also find it inhumane and cruel to believe that an all-powerful deity has blessed a person with such great fortune ahead of billions of other human beings who are doomed to a life of poverty and subsistence living.

What would God say if he was generous enough to place you in America during a time of relative peace and prosperity only to find that you spent 30 hours a week watching television?

If he’s the Old Testament God, watch out for the trapdoor that you’re likely standing on.

I would love to give thanks to someone for being born where I was, when I was, and as I was, but in the end, it was nothing more than dumb luck.

Deep thoughts in the early morning hours regarding an important consumer product

First words spoken by my daughter at 6:14 this morning:

"Daddy, when I have a baby someday, I'm going to make sure that I have plenty of diapers in the house. And you know what? I'm going to buy Pampers. You know why? Pampers are the number one choice of hospitals."

Three thoughts:

Who wakes up thinking about the diapers she will need for a baby that had better be at least two decades away from existing?I'm not opposed to her future use of Pampers (she wore Pampers when she was a baby), but damn, advertising is powerful. She's seven years-old, and Pampers already has its claws in her.  If Pampers is looking for a surprisingly articulate, exceedingly cute, shockingly loyal spokesperson, I have just the right person for them. 

Things I Do #3: I talk to dead trees.

I speak to the stumps of long lost trees that I once loved. I tell them how much I miss their leaves and shade and majesty. 

Yes, I speak to these stumps aloud, and yes, I use the word "majesty."

Not always, but sometimes. 

There are three of these stumps in the world that I am currently speaking to on a regular basis. One is on the golf course where I frequently play. Another can be found on the playground of the school where I work. The third is in a local playground.

Sometimes I sit on the stump if I have a moment to chat. 

As I've said before, I'm basically a walking, talking nostalgia machine that suffers from a permanent existential crisis.