Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 177

Lyric problems: "Don't Stop Me Now"

Queen is a top 5 band of all time. Freddy Mercury is the greatest male vocalist of all time.

I love this band.

Still, the lyrics of some of their songs are just ridiculous. “Bohemian Rhapsody” being the most obvious. Yes, I love the song, and yes, I think it’s one of the greatest rock songs of all time, but there are moments when it simply makes no sense.

“Don’t Stop Me Now,” which might be my favorite Queen song, doesn’t suffer from nonsensical lyrics, but it has its own set of lyrical problems.

Take this stanza, for example.

I'm a shooting star, leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car, passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go, go, go
There's no stopping me

I know it’s nitpicking, but which one are you, Freddy? A shooting star or a tiger? I think it’s both, since the shooting star is “leaping,” but talk about mixing metaphors. Then a second later those metaphors are upended by a new one. Now Freddy is a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva.

Three lines. Three different metaphors.

Oh, and in case you have never understood the Lady Godiva reference, Freddy is referring here to Godiva, Countess of Mercia, an English noblewoman who, according to a legend dating at least to the 13th century, rode naked – covered only in her long, red hair – through the streets of Coventry in order to convince her husband to lift the oppressive taxation that he had imposed on his tenants.

So guess the racing car is naked? Or a tax protester? Or red headed?

But this isn’t the stanza that annoys me the most. The most egregious is this one:

I'm burnin' through the sky, yeah
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm traveling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

My problem here?

The temperature.

200 degrees? You’re traveling at the speed of light, Freddy, but you’re burning through the sky at a temperature that wouldn’t bake a brownie? Coffee is routinely served at 180-205 degrees, so Freddy is apparently burning through the sky at 299,792,458 meters per second but has only managed to reach the temperature of a cup of coffee?

Mr. Fahrenheit? I don’t think so.

I know. I’m nitpicking. I’m nitpicking a song that I adore. I listen to it all the time, and even though these lyrics make me a little crazy, they make me happy to sing them.

But the writer in me loves good lyrics. Sensible lyrics. Lyrics that tell a story or express an idea or feeling clearly in a combination of words that I have never heard before. I love it when a musician can perfectly marry words and music to create something that is sonically appealing while also being thoughtful, insightful, and sensible.

Queen fails this test with “Don’t Stop Me Now.”

Nevertheless, I love the hell out of the song because sometimes a song is so good that it can overcome its flawed lyrics.

The death penalty is wrong

For the first time since Gallup first asked the question, a considerable majority of Americans say life imprisonment is a better punishment for murder than the death penalty.

When first asked in 1985, 34 percent of respondents favored life imprisonment with absolutely no possibility for parole to 56 percent who favored execution.

Today, for the very first time, 60 percent of respondents support life imprisonment without parole for murder compared to just 36 percent for the death penalty.

Finally, a majority of Americans agree with me. And it makes sense.

Since 1973, there have been a total of 166 death row exonerations.

166 innocent people who would’ve been murdered by the state had it not been for The Innocent Project and scientific advancements in DNA identification.

Just imagine how many more innocent Americans have been murdered by the state over the years for crimes they did not commit. Men and women who were unjustly convicted and were killed via electrocution or lethal injection or worse because the evidence required to exonerate them was never found. Or covered up.

As a person who was arrest and tried for a crime he didn’t commit and nearly confessed to the crime after threats of imprisonment by police officers, I know how easily a person can be found guilty for something they did not do.

I have many reasons to oppose the death penalty. I believe that it amounts to cruel and unusual punishment. I don’t believe that the state has the right to take away a person’s life. I know that it’s more expensive to execute a prisoner than it is to incarcerate them for the rest of their life.

But all of those reasons are irrelevant and unnecessary in the face of this:

Mistakes are made in courtrooms every day. Innocent people are found guilty of crimes they did not commit. Justice is not always enacted fairly. Eye witness testimony is exceptionally unreliable. Not every police officer and prosecutor and witness tells the truth.

The existences of the death penalty all but guarantees that innocent people will be murdered by the state. For that reason alone, it must be abolished.

I’m so happy to see that a significant majority of Americans now agree.

Shouting at people in public

My wife, Elysha, has asked me to refrain from engaging in verbal altercations with strangers in public.

I understand her concern. Shaming someone for their poor treatment of a restaurant worker or a CVS cashier is not worth the chances that the person might attempt to cause me physical harm.

I get it.

It’s also been suggested that these rude, inconsiderate, and sometimes racist jerks might simply be having a bad day. “You never know what someone might be going through,” I’m often told. “Maybe they’re experiencing the worst day of their life.”

I don’t buy this argument at all. Even when I was homeless and awaiting trial for a crime I didn’t commit, I wasn’t rude to service workers, nor did I refer to the Hispanic workers behind the counter at the Burger King as “you people.”

A terrible, no good, very bad day does not excuse indecency.

Still, Elysha’s right. Human beings can act in unexpected and violent ways, so I should be more careful.

But I so love engaging these terrible human beings in verbal combat.

So I’ve made a compromise. Instead of engaging these people, I wait. If they attempt in any way to engage me in any way, I will respond, but otherwise I remain frustratingly silent. This has admittedly led to me occasionally, intentionally placing myself within the lunatic’s eye line in hopes that he or she will somehow attempt to bring me into the altercation, which has actually worked from time to time, but I don’t think Elysha loves this maneuver.

All of this leads me to former Maryland governor and Presidential candidate Martin O’Malley’s recent verbal altercation with acting deputy secretary of the Department of Homeland Security Ken Cuccinelli.

Cuccinelli was reportedly forced to retreat from a Thanksgiving Eve bash after O'Malley tore into him over his role in enforcing the Trump administration's hardline immigration policies, which including separating families at the border and caging small children.

Why does O’Malley get to yell at people in public but not me?

Yes, Cuccinelli was a known commodity to O’Malley, so the chances of a violent outburst was nil.

And yes, the caging of children at the border is probably more worthy of verbal assault than an aggravated shopper turning to me to complain about the speed of service at the pharmacy.

But still… if Governor O’Malley can get away with something like this - and I’m happy he did, because indecency, cruelty, and evil must be exposed whenever possible - why can’t I?

Intense signage

Personal opinion:

When you require this much text and complexity to open a door, you need a new door.

A measured response

Back in 2014, I wrote a post about why Disney’s Amber had every right to despise her step sister, Sophia the First.

And I stand by that position today.

I wrote at the time:

Sophia and her mother live alone. There is no father in the picture, and his absence is never explained. Sophia’s mother then marries King Roland, and Sophia instantly becomes a princess. Roland already has two children, Amber and James. Their mother is also inexplicably missing.

As a result of the marriage, Amber and James become Sophia’s step siblings.

As a way of welcoming Sophia into the family, Roland gives Sophia the Amulet of Avalor. This amulet allows Sophia to call on any prior Disney princess in time of need. It also allows her to speak to animals and grow a mermaid tale and swim like a fish.

Because that makes sense.

So think about it:

Amber was Roland’s motherless princess daughter long before Sophia appeared, yet Roland chose to keep the most powerful magical amulet in the world stuffed in some drawer until his new stepdaughter came along, then he gave it to her.

If I were Amber, I’d be angry, too.

Five years after writing that post (and about two weeks ago), someone stumbled upon the post while scouring the Internet and responded with this comment:

… because PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.

Speak Up Storytelling #75: Joey Meyer

On episode #75 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Matthew and Elysha Dicks talk storytelling!

In our follow up segment, we discuss last week's book launch event. We also direct listeners to our new Soundcloud account and Matt's updated YouTube channel. We also ask listeners to help solve a problem.

In our Homework for Life segment, we talk about an unexpected reaction to jury duty and how that might become a story. We also talk about ways to avoid overcomplicating a story. 

Next we listen to a story by Joey Meyer.

Amongst the many things we discuss include:

Saying big, important things by telling the story of a small, brief, encounter

Outstanding openings and the power of perpetuating a mystery throughout the story

Sliding details about location seamlessly into the narrative

Effective sentence structure

The hazards of harming animals in a story 

Next we answer questions from listeners about storytelling for job interviews and how writers can transfer what they do from the page to the stage. 

Lastly, we each offer a recommendation. 

Greetings Little One!

From May 14, 2008 to December 20, 2015, I wrote to my children (and future children) every single day.

On May 14, 2008, I realized that Elysha was pregnant - even before she knew that she was pregnant - when she left the table at a restaurant to use the restroom for the second time.

This had never happened before.

I turned to our dinner companion - who happened to by my ex-girlfriend - and said, “Elysha’s pregnant. She’s never used a restroom twice like this.”

Funny, huh? The first two people to know that Elysha was pregnant was me and my girlfriend.

A day later, Elysha peed on a stick and it was confirmed. That day, I began writing.

2,782 days later - 7 years, 7 months and 12 days - I finally stopped writing. With everything that I had going on in my life at the time, I decided that it was finally time to quit. Though I don’t write to my children everyday anymore, my blog Grin and Bear It - which I have been writing every single day since May of 2005 - still captures much of their life, as does my Homework for Life.

All of this writing to my children was done on a blog called Greetings Little One, which still exists on the Internet today.

Since 2015, I have lived in mortal fear that something might happen to Greetings Little One. The platform - Typepad - might go out of business. I’d forget to pay my yearly fee and they would delete the thing without warning me. Some disaster would strike, and I would lose thousands of posts to my children.

Enter Kathryn Gonnerman.

This year I added “Convert Greetings Little One into a book” to my list of new year’s resolutions, hoping to find a way to move the blog into a physical form to prevent the loss of the content and make it accessible to my kids, who are now old enough to read it. I post these resolutions online, and several months ago, our friend, Kathryn, contacted me, expressing a desire to do this work on my behalf and refusing to take payment.

A labor of love.

On Tuesday night, I took Elysha and the kids to dinner, where we met Kathryn and I presented the books to them for the first time. It turns out that the single book I had envisioned ultimately became 5 volumes, complete with all of my words and the phots embedded in the blog. The layout and design of each page - hundreds of pages in all - was done by Kathryn, and the results are extraordinary.

Elysha knew about Greetings Little One when I was writing it, but she certainly wasn’t reading it every day, and the kids had never been told that it even existed, so it was a huge surprise for them all.

I can’t express enough thanks to Kathryn for what must have amounted to more time than I dare imagine. In lieu of paying her, Kathryn agreed to allow us to make a donation in her name to a charity of her choice.

There just aren’t that many people as generous and thoughtful as Kathryn Gonnerman in the world.

Last week, in the midst of telling some folks at a library about how important it is to write - not only for yourself but your future generations - a woman asked, “Do you write for your children?”

She asked the question quite sarcastically, not expecting me to say, “Actually, I wrote to my children and future children for the first seven years of their life. Every single day. Never missing a day.”

“Oh for God’s sake…” the lady responded, rolling her eyes.

But it makes sense. When it comes to the artifacts from my childhood, I have about two dozen photographs, a partially completed baby book, and a stuffed animal. That’s it. My mother has passed away. I don’t see my father very much. The memories that I have from when I was little are few and far between, and the sources of that knowledge are now gone.

Even of my mother was still alive and my father was in my life, how much would they realistically remember?

When you become a parent, you either repeat the things that your parents did or you do the opposite.

I did the opposite.

I gave my children a memory from every day of their lives for the first years of their lives. It meant sitting down every day for a handful of minutes, recording my thoughts, advice, or the events of the day, but in the end, I get to watch my children read about their first steps, their first words, and moments that would be otherwise lost to them and to me forever.

That’s one of the best parts,. When you write something for seven years, you don’t remember a fraction of it, so when I read these books, it’s like reading about our lives for the first time.

I’m very pleased with the former version of myself. He did a good job. Spent his time wisely.

He gave our family something that we and hopefully future generations will treasure forever.

Moments of Note: 2019

A suggestion:

With one month to go before the end of 2019, take stock in your previous year.

Throughout the year, I keep a running list entitled “Moments of Note” that include anything that happened that was particularly memorable.

Firsts and lasts

Interesting travel

Concerts, musicals, and plays

Success and failures

New friends

Unfortunate encounters

Memorable dialogue

Glorious surprises

It’s something I’ve been doing specifically for the last four years, and less formally via Homework for Life for eight years, and even less formally via my blog for the last 14 years.

And I think it’s important.

Before you allow 2019 to slip away like all the years before it, sit down and make a list of all the things that made 2019 special. Ask your friends and loved ones to contribute to your list. Look back on your calendar for moments you may have already started to forget.

Make that list.
Take stock.
Reflect on the previous year.
Assemble a list of memories worth documenting and never forgetting.
Feel good about your most recent trip around the sun.

Don’t allow 2019 to disappear into the ether like so many of the years before it.

At the end of December, I’ll post my Moments of Note from 2019, and perhaps you can, too.

Madman

Check it out! My commercials!

Well, not exactly mine, but I worked on the team that created these Prius commercials. I consult on occasion with advertising agencies, helping to provide storylines and infusing some of my storytelling strategies into their commercials and print advertising.

I like to think of myself as Don Draper from Madmen, minus the smoking, drinking, and infidelity.

Sort of a far less interesting, far less swoon-worthy Madman.

Nevertheless, I can’t tell you how exciting it is to see my work in the real world.

You should run out and buy a Prius.

Resolution update: November 2019

Each month I review the progress of my yearly goals and report on that progress as a means of holding myself accountable.

Here are the results for November. This is not looking like a banner year in terms of my completion of goals.

__________________________________

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Not only am I still alive, but my physical therapy is complete and my occupationally therapy is nearly finished.

I’m a picture of health.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I nether lost not gained a pound in November. Not good.

I’ve lost 7 pounds in total.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Done! Potatoes were absolutely needed to achieve this goal on many days, but potatoes are fantastic and amazing. vegetables. Did you know that the potato is considered a superfood? Humans can live healthily on a diet of potatoes supplemented only w/milk or butter, which contain the two vitamins not provided by potatoes?

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Not done.

Physical therapy for two shoulders and an elbow kept me from doing push-ups and planks for the last three months.

I also stopped sit-ups, which probably wasn’t necessary.

5. Do burpees three days a week.

Not done. My physical therapist told me to stop the burpees. Maybe permanently.

WRITING CAREER

6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2019.

Writing continues. I’ve re-started this book at least three times, which is unusual for me.

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

Yikes! I have a bunch of them in various stages, but I haven’t finished a single one yet.

8. Write a memoir.

Work continues.

9. Write a new screenplay.

No progress. I have two very good ideas, but that is essentially what everyone has. Actually writing the damn things is what counts.

10. Write a musical.

No progress.

11. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

I submitted a piece to the NY Times Modern Love column in April. I received word last month that it was not accepted.

One down. Four to go.

12. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

13. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

I spent July strategically smiling in hopes that the biofeedback that a smile sends to the brain would alter my mood positively. I wrote about the results of that experiment in October.

This month I’m creating a vision board for myself. I think this is a ridiculous exercise with no discernible benefit, but people seem to think that the inspiration that a vision board provides is useful.

We’ll see.

I need to experiment with one more behavior before the end of the year. Suggestions?

14. Increase my storytelling newsletter subscriber base to 3,000.

DONE! 131 new subscribers in November for a total of 1,054 new subscribers in 2019. My list now stands at 3,164 subscribers.

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

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Thank you!

15. Write at least six letters to my father.

No letters written in November. Two written so far this year.

16. Write 100 letters in 2019.

Zero letters written in November. 28 letters overall.

17. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

DONE! I present to the kids and Elysha tomorrow at dinner. I can’t wait!

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.

DONE! Three more shows produced in November:

A Great Hartford Storyslam (in conjunction with two other shows), a tribute show to Sarah Kaplan, and my book launch event.

A total of 15 shows produced so far in 2019.

19. Begin selling Speak Up merchandise at our events and/or online.

DONE! We began selling tee shirts and totes at our live podcast recording, and we’ll be selling again at our upcoming shows.

Next step is to make it available online. Suggestions?

20. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

DONE! And what a strange turn of events!

After pitching myself to five TEDx conferences and getting nominated for a sixth with no luck, THREE TEDx organizers invited me to participate in their conferences n October.

I’ll be speaking at TEDx Berkshires in May of 2020.

I was invited to speak at both TEDx Trinity College and TEDx United World College in Changshu, China. Tragically, I had to turn these down due to scheduling conflicts.

21. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

DONE! I attended one Moth StorySLAM at CitySpace in Boston in the month of November.

This brings my total to 21 events so far.

22. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

DONE! So far in 2019, I’ve won 8 Moth StorySLAMs in total.

Two in NYC, one in Seattle, and five in Boston.

45 victories in all.

23. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I finished in second place by a tenth of a point in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in January.

I finished in fourth place in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in March, but I think I might’ve told my best story ever.

I competed but did not win the NYC Moth GrandSLAM in June. Silent scoring (I’m not a fan) prevents me from knowing how I placed.

I may be competing in one more Moth GrandSLAM in NYC this year depending on the timing of the GrandSLAM and the number of storytellers in the queue ahead of me.

24. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

DONE!

Four new episodes released in November..

A total of 40 episodes so far in 2019.

Listen to our latest here or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

25. Perform stand up at least four times in 2019. 

No stand up performed in November.

Three down. Three to go.

26. Develop and teach a Storytelling Master Class, in which participants have an opportunity to tell at least two stories over the course of the day  or tell a story and then retell it based on feedback.

DONE in June! It went surprisingly well, and I’ve been receiving requests to do another.

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

No progress.

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

DONE!

I wrote to Marc early in January, asking for him to consider me as a guest.

I wrote again in August.

I wrote again in November.

No response yet.

I’ve also officially requested that my publicist assist me in this endeavor.

If you know Marc Maron, or know someone who knows Marc or know someone who knows Marc’s producer or booker, please let me know. I know that Marc and I would have an amazing conversation, and it’s currently my biggest dream to get on his show.

NEW PROJECTS

29. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

No progress.

30. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

No progress.

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

Painters are scheduled but will likely be finishing the work in early 2020. We can’t hang anything until the walls are done.

32. Renovate our first floor bathroom.

Work has commenced.

33. Organize our second floor bathroom.

Nearly complete. Just a smidgen left. Huzzah.

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2019.

I made one meal for the family in November.

Eight down. Four to go.

35. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

I had a tentative date, but it looks like it will no longer work.

I’ll be trying for a new date in the spring of 2020.

36. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2019.

I rode my bike with the kids 2 times in November for a total of 15 times in all.

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2019 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I did not comment on physical appearance in November.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2019.

DONE! One more surprise in November October and nine surprises so far.

In November, I gave Elysha socks decorated to look like cats as an “end of conference week” gift.

Added to these were the following surprises in 2019:

I mailed a card to Elysha’s school, telling her how I much I love her.

I mailed a second card - much more clever - to Elysha’s school, telling her how I much I love her.

I purchased a a Pusheen cross-stitch kit and gave it to her on a day she was giving surprises to the kids.

I hired a landscaper to install a garden plot in our backyard, which she found when came home. She spent the summer growing vegetables for the first time.

While vacationing at Disney World, I surprised Elysha by scheduling a second dessert party and VIP viewing for the Magic Kingdom fireworks. We had enjoyed this treat on our first night in Disney, but it was expensive. But the fireworks were also our favorite part of the entire trip, so I decided to surprise Elysha by repeating the experience on the last night of the trip, regardless of the expense.

While meandering through Pike’s Place Market in Seattle, Elysha spotted a pair of earrings that she loved but thought were too expensive. When she wasn’t looking, I took a photo of the earrings and grabbed a business card from the designer. Then I emailed the designer and asked that the earrings in the attached photo be shipped to me. I had hoped to have the earrings on her desk for the first day of school, but they arrived two days late, so I gave them to her two days later. She was quite surprised to see them again.

I surprised Elysha with a weekend getaway to Dorsett, Vermont.

I skipped a Patriots game on Sunday when my friend and seat mate was too ill to go (and it was pouring rain), so I drove home from Kripalu instead of straight to the game. I determined her location and appeared in aisle 4 of Whole Foods around 1:30 PM rather than the 11:00 PM arrival that was expected.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I’ve got a window guy now. This project is on the front burner but will likely need to wait until 2020.

40. Clean the basement. 

Almost done! I filled a dumpster and need another, but the remaining stuff to throw away is in an area, organized and ready to go. Some final organizational issues need to be addressed, but it is so much better. So close to being done.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

Just one round of golf in November. I’m striking the ball much better, but I still have yet to set a personal best.

42. Play poker at least six times in 2019.

Four games played in 2019. Two to go.

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

We walked for about 90 minutes together this weekend. Three days spent together so far.

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.