Josh Hilden's Blog, page 20

“I Sold My Soul… To The Company Store”

SIXTEEN TONS



“Some people say a man is made outta mud
A poor man's made outta muscle and blood
Muscle and blood and skin and bones
A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong

You load sixteen tons, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

I was born one mornin' when the sun didn't shine
I picked up my shovel and I walked to the mine
I loaded sixteen tons of number nine coal
And the straw boss said "Well, a-bless my soul"

You load sixteen tons, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

I was born one mornin', it was drizzlin' rain
Fightin' and trouble are my middle name
I was raised in the canebrake by an ol' mama lion
Cain't no-a high-toned woman make me walk the line

You load sixteen tons, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

If you see me comin', better step aside
A lotta men didn't, a lotta men died
One fist of iron, the other of steel
If the right one don't a-get you
Then the left one will

You load sixteen tons, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store”



- Tennessee Ernie Ford

Everyone seems to be talking about minimum wage and how badly the common citizen is getting fucked over. Either they are saying we all deserve a fairer rate of pay or they are saying if we want more pay we need to “Get a real job” and stop whining.

I know I am exaggerating but not by much.

I am one of the low paid masses. Yes I am a professional writer, and boy do I laugh when people assume that means I have money, but like 99% of all writers I have a day job.

I work as a Janitor at (LOCATION REDACTED) It is a job I have held for more than five years (as long as you forget about my four month “vacation” in 2011). I am not ashamed of being a Janitor, or Cleaner as we are called here. I’ve been doing this kind of work since I was 14 and I’m comfortable with it. It’s honest work and I do it well, I have an attention for details and just enough OCD to appreciate the results. I work hard at my job and I am happy to have it especially considering the economy of my region. We were one of the hardest hit areas of the country in the 2008 collapse.

A couple of week ago I received a letter from my employers. At first I was excited because it opened up by talking about the rising cost of living and how hard it is for those of us living day by day and scraping a living. Then I read the rest of the letter and my guts were filled with rage. We were being given a onetime cost of living raise of $0.10 an hour. I am still considering telling them to cram it. But I need the money even if it is a damn dime.

The worst happened the next day at work.

The middle and upper management had the fucking gall to act like we should be grateful. They were acting like that fucking dime, that four extra dollars a week, was proof the company gave two shits about us and that we have the best working conditions in the country.

A couple of facts about my place of employment.

The starting pay in out department is $8.45 an hour. Think about that for a second. I work for a multimillion dollar nonprofit religious organization and they start the support staff at less than $8.50 an hour. We do receive benefits, not good or affordable benefits but benefits none the less. We earn paid time off. The rate of accruement is decent so I won’t bitch about that. We are allowed to call off 6 times in a year… then we are fired. That is one of the strictest attendance policies I’ve ever been under in my working history. Now for the kicker, we get holidays off but our holiday pay… they take it from out paid time off.

So I hope that gives you an idea of my working situation.

Right now I have friends who are shaking their heads and thinking one of three general things. I’m sure other thoughts are crawling through their heads but these are the ones I’ve heard repeated ad nausea in the online echo chamber.

Either they are thinking. You knew what the starting pay and benefits situation was when you took the job if you don’t like it get a new job.

Or you are thinking. Why don’t you just go back to school and get an education? If you are not going to make an effort to better yourself you can’t expect to make more.

And my favorite train of thought. If somebody doesn’t make starvation wages (my words not theirs they’ll just call it low wages and pretend the money is adequate) then prices will rise, a can of coke will cost $20.00, and America will die!

You think that’s an exaggeration?

Nope I had an asshole tell me that once about two months ago.

I am not going to address the problems of corporate America. I think I’ve made my thoughts on it clear enough this year. What I am going to do is focus for a few paragraphs on how this all effects me and the people in my life. This won’t take long and for most of you it won’t hurt much.

I was curious as to why my job even gave us that insulting raise. They don’t have to, we get yearly 2.25% raises (merit has nothing to do with our raises) and there is no recourse. We accept it or we get the fuck out.

Then it occurred to me that the push for a raise of the minimum wage is vocal in Ohio. So I looked into the organizations lobbying for no increase and the companies financing them. It took a few layers of detective work (which means I worked Google like a $5 tranny whore for half an hour) and bingo I had my answer. My employer, through one of its non-profit arms, was donating substantially to the effort. I received a dime raise so my employers could point and say they were making an effort.

I am not a Communist.

I am not a Corporate Capitalist.

I am not a Blind Free Market Theist.

I am not a Libertarian.

I am a Progressive Free Marketist with a few Socialist and Libertarian bends. If you can decipher that more power to you. What that means for me is that I believe everyone should be paid a livable fair wage for their WORK not to stay home and sit on their ass. I believe all American’s (all humans really but I believe in dealing with my own house first) have the right to living wages, health care, education, and dignity in the work place.

If you don’t agree… keep it to yourself I’m not debating this one.





-Josh

You’re The Inspiration Part 7 – “These are the Voyages 3”

I bet you thought I’d forgotten about this series of essays didn’t you?

Well all I can say is shame on you.

I love writing these essays and there is no way I would neglect to finish the Star Trek installments. That being said it has been an extremely busy and emotional month. My kids are wrapping up their school year, the day job (at night) has been a massive clusterfuck, looks like we are going to have to move out of our home this summer because of the property changing ownership (although we now own my in-laws house so we can move in there but I don’t want to), I have not been getting nearly enough time with the people I love, and my beloved Bearded Dragon Tatsu passed away at the age of 5.

Not asking for sympathy just sharing the situation.

So now we move on and start looking at better days. This summer is going to be good, I can taste it. We are in the middle stages of getting ready for Gen Con where I’m making my debut on the convention circuit and I’m pretty damn stoked about that. To sweeten the pot there is a very good, and I mean VERY GOOD chance I will be quitting the day job and writing fulltime by Halloween. So I really have nothing to complain about.

Now, on to the final Trek Installment.



There is no Star Trek, other than reruns, on television these days. When Enterprise went off the air it was the end of an era. I’m still upset about it a decade later but television has never, in my life at least, been the only way to enjoy Star Trek. And while the secondary venues never had as much influence on my creativity as the shows they still warrant a mention.

I will not be speaking of the Toys in this essay. I was never a Star Trek toy person until I was an adult so unlike the toys of my youth they never had a major influence on my creative foundation. That being said as I write this I can look across the room and see my Deep Space Nine toy with miniature enterprise and a row of model starships from the various eras displayed in my living room. So while they weren’t influential enough to warrant space here I still love them.

I also fly them around the house making “PEW PEW” noises.



The Movies

For a lot of Star Trek fans the movies are more important than the shows. I don’t fall into that category, for me the shows will always have pride of place in the Star Trek universe. That’s not to say I don’t like, and in a few cases absolutely fucking love, the Trek movies. But they can be a mixed bag at best. I’m going to give a quick rundown of the movies and how I feel about each of them. I’m not including the JJ Abrams flicks in this list. They will get their own entry at the end of this essay.



Star Trek the Motion Picture (STTMP): I don’t like the first Star Trek movie. It’s too long, it’s boring, the character relationships are completely gone, and the ending was predictable as fuck even for a kid of five. The movie did/does have two things going for it. The first is it was gorgeous to look at, I know the original effects may not hold up to today’s tricks and miracles but back then… damn it was a good looking flick. The second, and in my mind, best thing STTMP is McCoy. When we first see Doctor McCoy in the movie he has a full beard and looks like he was dressed by the same person who outfitted Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, it’s one of the greatest scenes ever committed to film. I am laughing as I write this because there is a GIF of the scene running right next to Word of my screen. Gods bless you Deforest Kelly! This movie did nothing for me as a creator, although grandma did get me some of the MEGO figures from Gold Circle. This movie taught me that even a hot bald chick and Disco Doctor McCoy can’t save a sub par film.

Star Trek the Wrath of Khan (STTWOK): I will say this right off the bat, STTWOK is the best of all the Trek movies. You are more than free to disagree with me… you are also free to be wrong. No I kid, I understand that some people do not prefer his one, I can’t comprehend why but I understand. For me this one has everything. I t has Genesis, space battle, amazing effects, and mother fucking KHAN!!! Oh yeah and at the end Mr. Spock sacrifices himself to save his friends from certain death and I bawl like a damn baby every time. The one thing this movie did for e as a creator was show me an awesome spaceship battle.

Star Trek the Search for Spock (STTSFS): This one is a seriously confused movie. Some of it I like (The Klingons and the return of Mark Leonard as Sarek) and some of it I absolutely hate (Bringing Spock back and giving the middle finger to his sacrifice). In the end it’s a serviceable movie but does nothing for me as a Trek fan or as a creator. Although the look on Shatners face when he’s informed that the Klingons have killed his son is epic. I learned from this movie, and from X-Men comics which I will get too later, that if you give somebody a noble death don’t cheapen it by bringing them back.

Star Trek the Voyage Home (STTVH): If it wasn’t for STTWOK this would be my favorite Trek movie with the original cast. There is nothing about this movie I don’t love. It was the first Trek movie I saw in the theater and the first I ever owned on VHS. This movie has the right mix of action, comedy, and the social commentary Star Trek has always been famous for. And if you don’t like it… well DOUBLE DUMB ASS ON YOU! This movie taught me you can weave humor and social commentary into a tale and not have it be trite.

Star Trek the Final Frontier (STTFF): I hate this fucking movie. I wish this movie could be erased from the cannon of Star Trek films. After the amazing STTVH I was amped for the newest Trek movie. It was the first time I ever walked out of a theater and wanted to punch a hobo in the face. There is nothing redeeming about this movie. It’s boring, it’s stupid, it panders to the audience, and it’s the only thing that has ever made me ashamed to be a Trekkie. The only thing I learned from this movie is what not to do.

Star Trek the Undiscovered Country (STTUC): This movie saved the entire Star Trek movie franchise for me. The story was smart and action packed. There was mystery and humor. There was a Klingon General quoting Shakespeare. But the capper was Captain Hikaru Sulu commanding officer of the USS Excelsior. This isn’t just a really good Star Trek movie this is an excellent Science Fiction film. From this movie I learned that even if you royally fuck up the last thing you do you don’t give up. Instead you double down and try harder next time.

Star Trek Generations (STG): I liked this one, I know that’s a controversially position to take on the movie which transitions from Original to Next Generation crews but I stand by it. Kirk dies in this movie and we get to see the new crew on the screen for the first time. I really liked how the Kirk/Picard interactions were handled and I though the two powerhouse actors had excellent chemistry. It wasn’t a perfect movie but it was fun. This movie convinced me it doesn’t have to be excellent to be good.

Star Trek First Contact (STFC): This movie amazing. I’m not sure what else to say about it. If I didn’t have the nostalgia for STTWOK that I do I would say this was the best Star Trek movie of all time. My childhood pinnacled with this flick even though I was twenty some years old when it came. This movie showed me how to do it right.

Star Trek Insurrection (STI): Trek fans really seem to hate this movie. I don’t understand that mindset. It’s not the nest of the Trek flicks but damn it’s a fun movie. In my mind it is the spiritual sibling of STTVH. It’s funny, it’s smart, it has good action, and it’s a rocking ride. I mean damnit Counselor Troi and Doctor Crusher talk about the firmness of their tits. What isn’t awesome about that? This movie showed me that just because I love something doesn’t mean everyone else will… which mean they are idiots.

Star Trek Nemesis (STN): This movie is magnificent and it killed the Star Trek movie franchise for a long time. This is the only Star Trek movie to use my favorite Star Trek villains The Romulans. The story is solid, the action is intense, and the acting is first rate. So why was it an unmitigated flop? Because it opened against The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, it’s just that simple Warner Brothers and Peter Jackson killed Star Trek on the big screen. This movie showed me timing is everything.



Secondary Venues

This section is going to be short and sweet. Star Trek has been a giant presence in the realms of books, comic books, Roleplaying Games (RPGs), and video games for most of my life. Unlike the toys and some of the vintage board games the influence the secondary sources have had on my creative bedrock has been minimal.



Comic Books: You would think that as big of a comic book fan as I am Star Trek would have been at the top of my pull list. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I have never been a fan of the Star Trek comics. Compared to the novels (I’ll speak of them in minute) and the shows the comic books are weak sauce at best. I’m not saying they’ve been bad, although some of them have been atrocious, but they just aren’t great.

Video Games: I’m a moderate video game player at best. I’ve played a fair sampling of the Star Trek games and they range the gamut from awful to awesome. But video games have never been very influential on me.

Roleplaying Games (RPGs): Much like with comic books you’d think I would have been massively into Star Trek RPGs. Well I wasn’t. Not because they were bad, I’ve read a lot of them and they are pretty decent, but because I had nobody to play them with.

Novels: The novels are the exception. I started reading the Star Trek novelizations when I was a kid in the 80’s. Some of them were amazing and some of them were mediocre but at the end of the day they were always something new. The novels, like all of the secondary venues, aren’t cannon in the Star Trek Universe and for a long time I had a problem with that. I wanted everything to dovetail nicely and make sense with everything else. It took me until I was an adult to realize I was being myopic on the issue. In a multiverse where all things are possible I needed to relax. Just because the stories didn’t take place in the TV/Movie universe didn’t invalidate them. The novels taught me to look beyond my preconceptions of what was the right way to do things, this was reinforced when JJ Abrams rebooted the series.



The Rebirth

We went a lot of years without new Star Trek on the large or small screens. When it was announced television wonder kid JJ Abrams was bringing Star Trek back to the theaters I was cautiously optimistic. I’d been a fan of his television work for years and thought he could maybe do something fresh and exciting. Then it was announced he was rebooting and not continuing the franchise.

I like many were devastated.

This was the end of our Star Trek. Forty years of continuity and awesomeness were finished. We were going to have to forget what we loved and try to embrace a “Mirror Mirror” version of Star Trek. It felt like a part of my creative soul had just been tied to the altar and the feather headed priest was holding the obsidian dagger above me. I started to hope Quetzalcoatl was a just a fair god.

Then there was hope.

It was leaked, probably on purpose, that Leonard Nimoy would be integral to the movie. This was a confusing revelation. Were we being played? JJ was notorious for misdirection and there would be no way of knowing what was true and what was fiction until the movie was released.

When it was everything changed.



Star Trek 2009 (ST2009): In the end after all of my fears, JJ saved the franchise. This movie is wonderful. I was already a working writer when it was released so there has been minimal influence on me. But I love this movie for being Star Trek, in every way it has the heart of Trek while taking it in a new direction.

Star Trek into Darkness (STID): Yet again I find myself at loggerheads with many of my fellow Trekkies. I really liked this movie and every time somebody tries to tell me why it’s awful I just look at them and shake my head in confusion. Sometimes I just don’t understand my fellow fans.



I’ve been thinking about these two movies and my initial assessment that there has been no influence on my creativity from them. I think I may have spoken too soon. These movies are a prime example of how something long cherished can be reinvented and elevated without debasing the source material.

You would’ve thought Battlestar Galactica would have taught me that.



Alright boils and ghouls, that’s a wrap on the Star Trek section of these essays. I probably could’ve made it longer and maybe I should have made it shorter, but in the end I am happy with it. Next time I will move onto a new focus of this series, not sure which direction I’ll take but I’m sure t will be geeky and filled with excessive cursing.





-Josh

You’re The Inspiration Part 7 – “These are the Voyages 3”

I bet you thought I’d forgotten about this series of essays didn’t you?

Well all I can say is shame on you.

I love writing these essays and there is no way I would neglect to finish the Star Trek installments. That being said it has been an extremely busy and emotional month. My kids are wrapping up their school year, the day job (at night) has been a massive clusterfuck, looks like we are going to have to move out of our home this summer because of the property changing ownership (although we now own my in-laws house so we can move in there but I don’t want to), I have not been getting nearly enough time with the people I love, and my beloved Bearded Dragon Tatsu passed away at the age of 5.

Not asking for sympathy just sharing the situation.

So now we move on and start looking at better days. This summer is going to be good, I can taste it. We are in the middle stages of getting ready for Gen Con where I’m making my debut on the convention circuit and I’m pretty damn stoked about that. To sweeten the pot there is a very good, and I mean VERY GOOD chance I will be quitting the day job and writing fulltime by Halloween. So I really have nothing to complain about.

Now, on to the final Trek Installment.



There is no Star Trek, other than reruns, on television these days. When Enterprise went off the air it was the end of an era. I’m still upset about it a decade later but television has never, in my life at least, been the only way to enjoy Star Trek. And while the secondary venues never had as much influence on my creativity as the shows they still warrant a mention.

I will not be speaking of the Toys in this essay. I was never a Star Trek toy person until I was an adult so unlike the toys of my youth they never had a major influence on my creative foundation. That being said as I write this I can look across the room and see my Deep Space Nine toy with miniature enterprise and a row of model starships from the various eras displayed in my living room. So while they weren’t influential enough to warrant space here I still love them.

I also fly them around the house making “PEW PEW” noises.



The Movies

For a lot of Star Trek fans the movies are more important than the shows. I don’t fall into that category, for me the shows will always have pride of place in the Star Trek universe. That’s not to say I don’t like, and in a few cases absolutely fucking love, the Trek movies. But they can be a mixed bag at best. I’m going to give a quick rundown of the movies and how I feel about each of them. I’m not including the JJ Abrams flicks in this list. They will get their own entry at the end of this essay.



Star Trek the Motion Picture (STTMP): I don’t like the first Star Trek movie. It’s too long, it’s boring, the character relationships are completely gone, and the ending was predictable as fuck even for a kid of five. The movie did/does have two things going for it. The first is it was gorgeous to look at, I know the original effects may not hold up to today’s tricks and miracles but back then… damn it was a good looking flick. The second, and in my mind, best thing STTMP is McCoy. When we first see Doctor McCoy in the movie he has a full beard and looks like he was dressed by the same person who outfitted Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, it’s one of the greatest scenes ever committed to film. I am laughing as I write this because there is a GIF of the scene running right next to Word of my screen. Gods bless you Deforest Kelly! This movie did nothing for me as a creator, although grandma did get me some of the MEGO figures from Gold Circle. This movie taught me that even a hot bald chick and Disco Doctor McCoy can’t save a sub par film.

Star Trek the Wrath of Khan (STTWOK): I will say this right off the bat, STTWOK is the best of all the Trek movies. You are more than free to disagree with me… you are also free to be wrong. No I kid, I understand that some people do not prefer his one, I can’t comprehend why but I understand. For me this one has everything. I t has Genesis, space battle, amazing effects, and mother fucking KHAN!!! Oh yeah and at the end Mr. Spock sacrifices himself to save his friends from certain death and I bawl like a damn baby every time. The one thing this movie did for e as a creator was show me an awesome spaceship battle.

Star Trek the Search for Spock (STTSFS): This one is a seriously confused movie. Some of it I like (The Klingons and the return of Mark Leonard as Sarek) and some of it I absolutely hate (Bringing Spock back and giving the middle finger to his sacrifice). In the end it’s a serviceable movie but does nothing for me as a Trek fan or as a creator. Although the look on Shatners face when he’s informed that the Klingons have killed his son is epic. I learned from this movie, and from X-Men comics which I will get too later, that if you give somebody a noble death don’t cheapen it by bringing them back.

Star Trek the Voyage Home (STTVH): If it wasn’t for STTWOK this would be my favorite Trek movie with the original cast. There is nothing about this movie I don’t love. It was the first Trek movie I saw in the theater and the first I ever owned on VHS. This movie has the right mix of action, comedy, and the social commentary Star Trek has always been famous for. And if you don’t like it… well DOUBLE DUMB ASS ON YOU! This movie taught me you can weave humor and social commentary into a tale and not have it be trite.

Star Trek the Final Frontier (STTFF): I hate this fucking movie. I wish this movie could be erased from the cannon of Star Trek films. After the amazing STTVH I was amped for the newest Trek movie. It was the first time I ever walked out of a theater and wanted to punch a hobo in the face. There is nothing redeeming about this movie. It’s boring, it’s stupid, it panders to the audience, and it’s the only thing that has ever made me ashamed to be a Trekkie. The only thing I learned from this movie is what not to do.

Star Trek the Undiscovered Country (STTUC): This movie saved the entire Star Trek movie franchise for me. The story was smart and action packed. There was mystery and humor. There was a Klingon General quoting Shakespeare. But the capper was Captain Hikaru Sulu commanding officer of the USS Excelsior. This isn’t just a really good Star Trek movie this is an excellent Science Fiction film. From this movie I learned that even if you royally fuck up the last thing you do you don’t give up. Instead you double down and try harder next time.

Star Trek Generations (STG): I liked this one, I know that’s a controversially position to take on the movie which transitions from Original to Next Generation crews but I stand by it. Kirk dies in this movie and we get to see the new crew on the screen for the first time. I really liked how the Kirk/Picard interactions were handled and I though the two powerhouse actors had excellent chemistry. It wasn’t a perfect movie but it was fun. This movie convinced me it doesn’t have to be excellent to be good.

Star Trek First Contact (STFC): This movie amazing. I’m not sure what else to say about it. If I didn’t have the nostalgia for STTWOK that I do I would say this was the best Star Trek movie of all time. My childhood pinnacled with this flick even though I was twenty some years old when it came. This movie showed me how to do it right.

Star Trek Insurrection (STI): Trek fans really seem to hate this movie. I don’t understand that mindset. It’s not the nest of the Trek flicks but damn it’s a fun movie. In my mind it is the spiritual sibling of STTVH. It’s funny, it’s smart, it has good action, and it’s a rocking ride. I mean damnit Counselor Troi and Doctor Crusher talk about the firmness of their tits. What isn’t awesome about that? This movie showed me that just because I love something doesn’t mean everyone else will… which mean they are idiots.

Star Trek Nemesis (STN): This movie is magnificent and it killed the Star Trek movie franchise for a long time. This is the only Star Trek movie to use my favorite Star Trek villains The Romulans. The story is solid, the action is intense, and the acting is first rate. So why was it an unmitigated flop? Because it opened against The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, it’s just that simple Warner Brothers and Peter Jackson killed Star Trek on the big screen. This movie showed me timing is everything.



Secondary Venues

This section is going to be short and sweet. Star Trek has been a giant presence in the realms of books, comic books, Roleplaying Games (RPGs), and video games for most of my life. Unlike the toys and some of the vintage board games the influence the secondary sources have had on my creative bedrock has been minimal.



Comic Books: You would think that as big of a comic book fan as I am Star Trek would have been at the top of my pull list. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I have never been a fan of the Star Trek comics. Compared to the novels (I’ll speak of them in minute) and the shows the comic books are weak sauce at best. I’m not saying they’ve been bad, although some of them have been atrocious, but they just aren’t great.

Video Games: I’m a moderate video game player at best. I’ve played a fair sampling of the Star Trek games and they range the gamut from awful to awesome. But video games have never been very influential on me.

Roleplaying Games (RPGs): Much like with comic books you’d think I would have been massively into Star Trek RPGs. Well I wasn’t. Not because they were bad, I’ve read a lot of them and they are pretty decent, but because I had nobody to play them with.

Novels: The novels are the exception. I started reading the Star Trek novelizations when I was a kid in the 80’s. Some of them were amazing and some of them were mediocre but at the end of the day they were always something new. The novels, like all of the secondary venues, aren’t cannon in the Star Trek Universe and for a long time I had a problem with that. I wanted everything to dovetail nicely and make sense with everything else. It took me until I was an adult to realize I was being myopic on the issue. In a multiverse where all things are possible I needed to relax. Just because the stories didn’t take place in the TV/Movie universe didn’t invalidate them. The novels taught me to look beyond my preconceptions of what was the right way to do things, this was reinforced when JJ Abrams rebooted the series.



The Rebirth

We went a lot of years without new Star Trek on the large or small screens. When it was announced television wonder kid JJ Abrams was bringing Star Trek back to the theaters I was cautiously optimistic. I’d been a fan of his television work for years and thought he could maybe do something fresh and exciting. Then it was announced he was rebooting and not continuing the franchise.

I like many were devastated.

This was the end of our Star Trek. Forty years of continuity and awesomeness were finished. We were going to have to forget what we loved and try to embrace a “Mirror Mirror” version of Star Trek. It felt like a part of my creative soul had just been tied to the altar and the feather headed priest was holding the obsidian dagger above me. I started to hope Quetzalcoatl was a just a fair god.

Then there was hope.

It was leaked, probably on purpose, that Leonard Nimoy would be integral to the movie. This was a confusing revelation. Were we being played? JJ was notorious for misdirection and there would be no way of knowing what was true and what was fiction until the movie was released.

When it was everything changed.



Star Trek 2009 (ST2009): In the end after all of my fears, JJ saved the franchise. This movie is wonderful. I was already a working writer when it was released so there has been minimal influence on me. But I love this movie for being Star Trek, in every way it has the heart of Trek while taking it in a new direction.

Star Trek into Darkness (STID): Yet again I find myself at loggerheads with many of my fellow Trekkies. I really liked this movie and every time somebody tries to tell me why it’s awful I just look at them and shake my head in confusion. Sometimes I just don’t understand my fellow fans.



I’ve been thinking about these two movies and my initial assessment that there has been no influence on my creativity from them. I think I may have spoken too soon. These movies are a prime example of how something long cherished can be reinvented and elevated without debasing the source material.

You would’ve thought Battlestar Galactica would have taught me that.



Alright boils and ghouls, that’s a wrap on the Star Trek section of these essays. I probably could’ve made it longer and maybe I should have made it shorter, but in the end I am happy with it. Next time I will move onto a new focus of this series, not sure which direction I’ll take but I’m sure t will be geeky and filled with excessive cursing.





-Josh

This Things I Believe… Part 2

Sorry no talking about inspiration in general or Star Trek specifically in this one. I halfway finished the final part of our Trek discussion but other things have been on my mind and I need to get one of them off of my chest. Next time I will hopefully be back to talking about lighter things and wondering why the fuck we all had a naked Spiderman.



I have been laying low on the religious and political talk lately. Not because I’ve been avoiding it but because my mind has been fixated on the loss in our family, an outbreak of plague in the community, and working on my real job while doing my best to forget the day job. But that does not mean I’ve been ignoring the goings on in the world. If you follow or are friends with me on social media you are probably aware of that. Today I want to talk about a few things that have caught my attention lately.

I have no desire to fight about any of this, these are my opinions. I am always willing to discuss things but I am getting really tired of fighting with people who have no desire to actually consider the possibility that they might be wrong. I will be backing this up with the revelation that I have recently changed a long held belief.

Close you damn mouth before you catch flies.

Okay then, without further adieu let’s tackle my ever evolving beliefs.





The Death Penalty



I am not burying the lead. This is the issue I’ve changed my stance on. For as far back as I can remember I’ve been a proponent of the death penalty. I’d listened to all of the arguments for and against it and even when I was at my most liberal I still held to the belief that some people just deserve to die.

Between the ages of eighteen and thirty I considered myself a conservative. I had no idea for many years that being conservative had nothing to do with being a Republican anymore. I flirted with being a Libertarian but I have to be honest I agree with about 50% of what they stand for and think the rest is a bunch of crazy talk (this will be discussed more when I dive into the insanity in Nevada). Now I consider myself a Progressive, not a Democrat, with a serious Libertarian slant. Last week Oklahoma killed any support which lingered in me for capital punishment.

Horrible pun intended.

Oklahoma attempted to execute a serious scumbag and botched the job. He eventually died but only after going through a long painful process and eventually dying of a heart attack as opposed to the “Humane” lethal injection. I know some of you are thinking that it’s good that he suffered and he should have been tortured before he died. I would like to know if you’ve ever read the fourth amendment of the United States Constitution? You realize the prohibition on cruel and unusual punishment is one of the foundations of our Republic, right? But really you are one of those people who don’t care about the law you just want a Biblical level of vengeance and the harm it does to our society and our children be damned.

I used to be one of those people.

A recent study has shown that as many as one in twenty-five of people on death row are innocent of the crime they were convicted of. If you doubt the results of the study and question its validity just look at the dozens of people on death row who’ve had their convictions overturned when DNA evidence was tested. There are a lot of people in prison who’re innocent.

You don’t believe any of that?

Okay, you know what why don’t you just stop reading this. Close whatever web page you are reading this on. Then I want you to find someone to help you pull your head out of your ass.

Buh-Bye!

For the rest of you who have open minds I apologize for that asshole… moving on.

These are the reasons I think we should end capital punishment:



The Fourth Amendment of the Constitution – What we are doing is wrong legally, the pain people have been experiencing when they’re put to death is wrong. The convicted are anesthetized before they are poisoned but the manner of their deaths is painful and torturous (Google it if you don’t believe me). I know this argument has been made many times. Some courts have agreed and some have dissented. But in the end this is my belief.



Morally Wrong – Look let’s leave law out of it. Let’s leave the minutia of legal debate in the other room. Let’s ignore the Religious tomes because I think they are as real as Lord of the Rings and a lot less interesting. Let’s just look at it in the terms of right and wrong. To me, and yes I know I’m in the minority, state sanctioned murder is wrong. I don’t want my kids thinking that strapping someone to a table and pumping them full of poison, or into a chair for electricity or gas, is a good or right thing. Look if someone attacks you and you are forced to kill them I’m cool with that, that’s self defense. But murdering criminals is a rot in the heart of our nation and peoples.



Crime Deterrent – This one is short and sweet. Are you ready? Pay attention because I’m only going to say this once. The death penalty is not an effective deterrent for crime. Look into it. I’m not your nanny so do your own leg work.



Wrongful Executions – I need to explain that one do I? There are way too many cases of people being executed only to be exonerated years later. I would rather let every vile piece of shit in the world live the rest of their natural lives behind bars than have a single innocent person executed.



That’s it boils and ghouls. Those are my reasons for making a major change in one of my views. That doesn’t mean I think we should be soft on crime, although I have become a serious proponent of prison reform. But this isn’t about prisons. That is for another essay. Before I end this I feel the need to address the elephant in the room. When I express this belief I am usually met with one question. The question has many variations but it all comes down to one point. Are you ready for it?



“What if someone you loved was raped and murdered, wouldn’t you want the son of a bitch who did it dead?”



Want to know my answer to that question? Yes of course I’d want them dead. I’d want to be the one to strap the mother fucker down, slit their belly open, and turn the starving rat loose. And that is why we’ve eliminated mob justice (more or less) in this country. It needs to be left to cooler heads to decided the guilt or innocence and commiserate punishment. Anything else is anarchy or a dictatorship.



Alright that’s it for today. Next time we will either return to the worlds of Star Trek or I’ll have something else stuck in my craw that needs to be worried at. Until then get laid, get drunk or stoned, and don’t be a dick.>





-Josh

You’re The Inspiration Part 6 – “These are the Voyages 2”

Before we get to the Star Trek talk I need to explain what’s been going on and why I’ve been allowing the Journal to lay fallow all month. My Mother I Law passed away two weeks ago after a year of struggling to recover from surgery on her spleen and liver. I’m not going into details mostly because the pain is still too raw. My family is still grieving but mom had a good full life and I don’t think she died with regret. The only reason for even mentioning this is to explain why my productivity has been in the basement all month. But mom was one of my biggest supporters and she would have slapped upside the head if I allowed my mourning to keep me from doing what I love.

I love you mom and I know you are always with us.

This week we are going to discuss the remaining Star Trek Television series. I will be addressing them in order of debut as opposed to show continuity. Therefore we will be going Deep Space 9, Voyager, and finally Enterprise. So sit back and read more of inane rambling about the aspects of Star Trek which inspired me as a writer.

It’s also appropriate that I am in the middle of discussing Star Trek at the time mom passed. Mom and Dad were the biggest Trekkies I’ve ever known. They had every novel and every episode of The Original Series and The Next Generation on VHS along with the animated series.



I remember when it was announced that there was going to be a new Start Trek series. I’d waited so long for The Next Generation (TNG) to be made, as I know most Trekkies did, that it seemed impossible to consider two different shows running at the same time. My friend Jeff Rowland was the only other Trekkie I knew back in the days before the internet and we both anxiously tracked the progress of the show via articles in TV Guide, Star Log, and the official Star Trek magazine.

Yeah… I’m really old.

Initially Deep Space 9 (DS9) was to be launched off of TNG with the reoccurring character of Ensign Ro Laren. The actress who played Ro apparently was worried about being type cast as a Star Trek actress and declined the role. I suggest you go to IMDB and see how her career progressed following the decision not to star on DS9… yeah that was a wise choice right there.

DS9 was a major departure from what Star Trek had been in the past. Instead of being set on a starship traveling the galaxy DS9 was a space station near a planet (Bajor) recovering from centuries of occupation by an aggressive alien race (The Cardassians). DS9 was also parked at the lip of a portal (Wormhole) to the other side of the galaxy (Gamma Quadrant) created by a mysterious race of aliens worshipped by the natives of the planet (Bajorans). The commander of the Station (Benjamin Sisko) was anointed the Emissary by the Bajorans after he made contact with the Wormhole Aliens.

The show was amazing.

I make no bones about it. In my opinion Star Trek Deep Space 9 is the single best installment of the franchise. From the setting, to the characters, to the storyline DS9 is more than a show. It is a sweeping epic which in one way or another bridges every version which came before it. DS9 solidified an instinct I’d always had as a storyteller, for me arching interlocking stories interspersed with stand alone episodes was the way to go. DS9 delved into subjects Star Trek had always shied away from or never confronted head on. From homosexuality, sexism, racism, terrorism vs. freedom fighting, and religious freedom DS9 didn’t shy away from the darker areas of science fiction but still maintained the Star Trek philosophy.

It also made me love the Ferengi…

… and Mourn, Mourn was fucking hardcore!

In 1995 Paramount launched its own network UPN. As we all know UPN is the number one network in the world and has enslaved several Caribbean nations. With its mega hit shows The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer and Love Boat the Next Wave UPN has redefined entertainment as we know it.

What do you mean that never happened?

No I have been smoking the pot!

What the fuck is the CW?!?!

Okay so I have been informed that I have been looking into alternate realities in my dreams again. In this universe the UPN was the bitch network of the six network system. Perpetually ranking below the WB and FOX, then eventually ceasing to exist when it was merged with the WB to form the CW. Yeah I was there and it still confuses the fuck out of me, all I know is that they didn’t cancel Smallville or Supernatural… so yay CW or some shit.

In 1995 the flagship launch show of the UPN was Star Trek Voyager.

I was excited about Voyager. Not only was it a new Star Trek series but it would it be running concurrently with DS9. Add to that the original story idea and I was hooked. Voyager was about a Federation starship (Voyager) which through the actions of a powerful entity is flung across the galaxy and stranded with a crew of Marquis freedom fighters. Realizing it will take 70 plus years to get home the two crews join forces and begin the long trek home. I waited with baited breath when the pilot episode aired.

I was underwhelmed to say the least.

My first complaint was the Captain. No I am not going to bitch because Captain Katherine Janeway was the first female Star Trek Captain. It was that they cast an actress as talented as Kate Mulgrew and then didn’t let her act! Watch the first season of Voyager then compare it to the last three and tell me I’m wrong.

I fucking dare you… I wait.

See what I mean?!?!

Anyway the first season was a bit of a slog although the character of the Doctor played by the impeccable Robert Piccardo did tend to save some of the rougher episodes for me. But sometime in the second season the show began to gain some traction and in the end I came too really like Voyager. When the show found its voice, it’s about a very large dysfunctional family trapped far from home, I was proud to say I was fan. Voyager tends to be the show fans make fun of. It’s the one most of the Trekkies can agree had the most flaws.

But I learned from it.

I learned that even something which starts out rough can be worked and turned into something good. Mediocre plots and characters can eventually be changed into something I rewatched to this very day. I know it sounds lame but I like to think Voyager helped to inspire to me salvage works I’d decided needed to be shit canned.

Also they got rid of Kess… sometimes you have to kill Kess.

Now we come to my single greatest Star Trek heartbreak, now we will talk about Enterprise. Star Trek Enterprise was to date the last television gasp of the Trek universe. There have been numerous rumors of a new Trek TV series in recent years but I will believe it when we see it. It only lasted four seasons but Enterprise was a love letter to the fans and should have been a major hit. Unfortunately it was on UPN at the end of its existence and was thus doomed to die an early death, but damn it went out with a bang!

Enterprise was that rare television entity. It was a prequel that worked damnit! Enterprise told the early story of mankind’s initial steps into the galaxy before the formation of the United Federation of Planets. With a cast of top notch actors and actresses and having the amazing Scott Bakula in the lead role of Captain Jonathan Archer I loved Enterprise from day one.

But they shouldn’t have tried to push water polo as the sport of the future.

I mention Enterprise more because it rounds out the Star Trek television universe and I loved it than because it inspired me. I was nearing my return to writing in the years Enterprise was on up to and including writing several rough novellas that will never see the light of day. But Enterprise did show me how to successfully work new tails into the back end of a successful franchise.

But seriously… water polo.

Some of you might be wondering why I didn’t list episodes I particularly loved in this installment. The short answer is age. I watched TOS and TNG when I was a child and they were integral in my development as a creator. But I consumed the rest as a teenager and adult. This isn’t to say I don’t love them just as much, and in some cases more, it just means they aren’t part of my creative foundation.


Next time we will wrap up our Star Wars experience by discussing the movies, novels, and comic books. I will also be touching on the JJ Abrams relaunch and my feelings on those movies.





-Josh

“Welcome to the American Plutocracy”

From Wikipedia


Plutocracy (from Greek, ploutos, meaning "wealth", and kratos, meaning "power, dominion, rule") or plutarchy, defines a society or a system ruled and dominated by the small minority of the wealthiest citizens. The first known use of the term is 1652. Unlike systems such as democracy, capitalism, socialism or anarchism, plutocracy is not rooted in an established political philosophy and has no formal advocates. The concept of plutocracy may be advocated by the wealthy classes of a society in an indirect or surreptitious fashion, though the term itself is almost always used in a pejorative sense.





Today April 2, 2014 Democracy died in the United States of America. I know some of you are shaking your heads and wanting to tell me to calm down and that I am over reacting. Most times you’d be right, I tend to have knee jerk reactions to situations which make me uncomfortable. I admit this… hell I’ll fucking own this.

But today is different.



I don’t normally completely quote news articles in my essays but this time I felt it was needed. Also some people are going to scream that the Huffington Post is a slanted publication and they can’t take me seriously because of it. Well first I say… go fuck yourself, and second I read dozen different articles and I though this one handled it the best.





From The Huffington Post - LINK

WASHINGTON -- The Supreme Court on Wednesday struck down the aggregate campaign contribution limits, thereby opening the door to even more money in the political system.



The 5-4 ruling in McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission was penned by Chief Justice John Roberts and joined by justices Anthony Kennedy, Samuel Alito and Antonin Scalia. The decision relies heavily on the assertion in the 2010 Citizens United ruling that influence and access are not a corruption concern.



Justice Clarence Thomas wrote a separate opinion that agreed to strike the aggregate limits, but also called for an end to the entire campaign finance reform system.



The victory for the Alabama businessman and major Republican Party donor Shaun McCutcheon, who was joined by the Republican National Committee in his challenge, means that a single donor will soon be able to contribute millions of hard dollars -- in limited contributions -- to political parties, candidates and political action committees.





"With the ruling, we continue to chip away at the long entrenched status quo from the grassroots -- a status quo that has kept challengers, better ideas, and new entrants to the political arena mostly locked out," McCutcheon said in a statement. "Ensuring that citizens are able to contribute to multiple candidates or causes who share their views only provides further support to a system in which 'We the People' hold the ultimate reins of power."



Campaign finance reform proponents were not so pleased.



"With its decision today in McCutcheon, the Supreme Court majority continued on its march to destroy the nation's campaign finance laws, which were enacted to prevent corruption and protect the integrity of our democracy," Democracy 21 president Fred Wertheimer said in a statement.

Public Citizen President Robert Weissman said in a statement, "This is truly a decision establishing plutocrat rights. The Supreme Court today holds that the purported right of a few hundred superrich individuals to spend outrageously large sums on campaign contributions outweighs the national interest in political equality and a government free of corruption."



Indeed, a single donor can now give more than $5 million in individually limited contributions to every House candidate, every Senate candidate, every state party committee, every national party committee and every leadership PAC connected to one political party.



For the 2013-2014 election cycle, Federal Election Commission rules state that a donor can give no more than $123,200 to all political committees, with two sub-limits of $48,600 to candidates and $74,600 to political parties and political action committees. Those limits are no more.



This will immeasurably help the Republican Party, which relies far more on large campaign donors who give the maximum campaign contributions. In the past year, Republican congressional political party committees have struggled to raise funds, as compared to their Democratic counterparts and the RNC. The court's decision now frees donors to make contributions of $32,400 to all three party committees every year.



"What I think this means is freedom of speech is being upheld," House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) told reporters on Capitol Hill in response to the ruling. "Donors ought to have the freedom to give what they want to give.



"All this goes back to this bizarre McCain-Feingold bill that was passed that has distorted the political process in ways that no one who voted for it ever believed in. Some of us understood what was going to happen. It's pushing all this money outside the party structure into all these other various forms.



"I'm all for freedom. Congratulations."



Roberts makes clear in his opinion that the ruling and the case brought before the court in no way challenges the base contribution limits, which currently limit individual contributions to $2,600 per candidate, per election; to $32,400 to political party committees per year; and to $5,000 per PAC, per year.

A lawyer representing Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) had argued during the case that McCutcheon's challenge should extend to these base limits, and that candidates and parties should be allowed to raise unlimited funds. The justices, particularly Roberts, were skeptical of this during arguments.



The dissent was penned by Justice Stephen Breyer and joined by Elena Kagan, Sonia Sotomayor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Let me put that in perspective for you. I the 1970’s it was decided that corporations had the same rights as people, it was also decided that money was free speech. These horrible decisions eventually lead to decades of money burrowing deep up the ass of the political structure in Washington. Since then the voice and will of the average everyday citizen has meant less and less in the broad scheme of things. In 2010 the Supreme Court of the United States of America ripped many of the caps off what, how, and how much the ultra rich and corporations could contribute to political campaigns. In essence political bribery was legalized.

Today we became an auction house.

I am not singling either party out, although I’ll be honest I truly 100% believe the Modern Republican Party is significantly more reprehensible than the Modern Democratic Party. I’ll state this for you right now so you don’t need to wander or ask me. Until 2001 I considered myself a Liberal Republican, believe it or not that used to be a thing. Then we overreacted to a terrorist attack I’m not convinced we didn’t know about ahead of time. After that I began questioning my former views. When the Patriot Act was passed I knew we were in trouble, although I never realized just how much trouble we were actually in. I can’t be a Democrat because they are nearly as bad as the Republicans and I can’t be a Libertarian because I find about half of what they believe in to be complete bullshit.

So where does that leave me?

I guess I am a Progressive with some Libertarian leanings.

Now, back to the point of this rambling and somewhat schizophrenic diatribe, what does today mean. Today the Supreme Court committed treason, in my opinion, and sold out every single ordinary citizen. Now instead of having to be a little clever in how they funnel money to their pets the ultra rich and major Multinational Corporation’s get to openly buy every fucking politician, give them their marching orders, and finally accomplish their goal of making all of us serfs in their medieval kingdom.

You probably think I’m kidding.

You probably think this is a bunch of conspiracy bullshit.

Read the damn news. I don’t mean turn on one of the networks and watch their “News” or gods forbid the cable news network’s who are nothing more than the propaganda arms of the political parties. Except CNN, all they care about is missing Malaysian airplanes and the possibilities that black holes and witchcraft might have been involved… seriously that was a thing. When you delve into the independent news sources you begin to see the abuses of the rich over the poor, the government over the citizens, and the police being turned into a paramilitary force dedicated to keeping dissent under the boot.

I wish I didn’t believe any of this… I wish more of you did.

I am going to receive responses to this by people telling me I’m an idiot. They are going to tell me that money is free speech and that I need to get over it because the Left does it just as much as the Right (that’s bullshit by the way and I have problem with both sides doing it anyway). People are going to try and dissect the minutia of the decision and tell me it was a legal decision while getting lost in the details and ignoring the whole cloth.

Sigh…

I love a lot of these folks but I can’t debate this with them because I can’t begin to see their point of view. I don’t understand how they can’t see what is happening.

I don’t know where I am anymore.





-Josh

“Papers Please!”

When I was a kid I wanted to be a police officer. Well first I wanted to be an astronaut but that dream died pretty quickly when I realized being able to see out of BOTH eyes was something of a requirement. But after abandoning my dream of becoming the first lunar overlord I decided an officer of the law was next best option. Eventually that dream faded and my goal of being writer became an all consuming obsession which has lead to what I am now. That would be a borderline successful indie writer and all around online blowhard. I still respected cops even though I didn’t want to be one of them.

That has all changed.

You can’t take in the news these days without hearing about or reading about cops stepping over the line and taking on the roll of the bad guys. There is a reason nobody (yes I know that’s an exaggeration) trusts the police anymore. It would take something extreme for me to call the police to resolve a problem. I am not going to rundown a list of stories where the police are unequivocally the bad guys. I’m not Google and I am not a news outlet do your own gods damned research it’s not hard to learn all about police in America being giant jackasses.

Yes, I know it’s not all cops

I am 100% convinced that for every one bad cop there are a hundred good cops. I am sure that most cops really do want to help people and do the right thing. But I have known, personally known, police officers in my life who were the most racist, bigoted, misogynistic, homophobic, and totalitarian douche bags I’ve ever known. I’ve heard them laughing about how “The Niggers in East Dayton” are afraid to drive through our town and getting the hookers to give them freebies so that they don’t get run in on bullshit charges. I’ve heard them say horrible and reprehensible things and I knew one cop who liked to give faggots an occasional beating in hopes it would toughen them up and turn them straight.

And no I can’t prove a single word of this but I KNOW what I know.

Right now you are probably thinking what has brought on this rant against the establishment and authority. You may be thinking you need to log out of my sight and clean the cookies from your computer because the NSA might be watching me, the government hating fag, and through me you.

Calm down, I have a point. Read it and then run away.

The night before last my wife Karen picked me up from work. I have been carless since December of 2012 and Karen’s car has been dead for a month now. We are currently borrowing our oldest son’s car because he has no license and the thing was sitting on a flat tire in his apartment complex. We replaced two of the tires and did a few other things to it in order to make it useable. Not a big deal. On Monday we noticed one of the headlights had blown but we didn’t have the time or money to replace it, I’m not kidding money and time is super tight and add to that the situation with my mother in law and I think we can be forgiven for not replacing it until Thursday. When she picked me up on Wednesday night we were pulled over in the way home.

No I am not bitching about being pulled over. Having a headlight out is illegal and a valid excuse for pulling someone over. I also think it’s a complete asshole move and they should be doing something better with my tax dollars but it’s a legal reason and they had every right to do it.

The fat assed, I thought cops had physical fitness standards, sheriff’s deputy was really fucking smug when Karen rolled down the window and he told her that she had a headlight out. He acted like he’d just busted a drug mule with 20 kilos of Peruvian marching powder. Or maybe he was just enjoying the view of my wife’s tits. He informed her of the light out, stupid shit eating grin on his chubby face. Then he asked for her license and proof of insurance which she already had out and waiting for him.

Then he asked for my ID.

I was absolutely shocked. I was sure, and later research confirmed my surety, that as a passenger he had no right to ask me for my ID. Or at the very least I had zero responsibility to provide him with one. But I am at heart something of a coward. I do believe I’ve been pretty upfront about that in the past. I gave the fat jack booted moron my ID and said nothing. Inside I was seething. I’d done nothing wrong. I’d said nothing to him. All I was guilty of was being a passenger in a car with a blown headlight. But for some reason this asshole needed to run my ID.

Why?

What gives him the right to do this to anyone?

I guess I have been a complete moron thinking that the police were here to investigate crimes and keep the peace. I did not, and do not, think it’s their responsibility drive around and demand to see the papers of normal everyday citizens.

Are we in NAZI Germany?

Are we in Soviet Russia?

A lot of assholes like to say Obama is the new Hitler and the new Stalin. I may not be the biggest fan of Barack Obama and I freely admit he’s lied to us. But for fucks sake he’s not Hitler and he’s not Stalin. But our law enforcement organizations… kids I grew up at the end of the cold war and I am seeing things going on now that we would have taken up arms against back then. It’s like 13 years ago everyone decided we need to give away out rights as Americans in order to keep the Terrorists (Code Words for Non White) away from our kids and our churches.

It’s all bullshit.

The police work for us, or at least they are supposed to. We should not have to fear our “Protectors” more than we fear the criminals. I know the gangbangers are going to rip me off I should not have to know that the police are going to fuck me over as well.

I know some of you are going to say something along the lines of “He needed to check your ID to protect everyone” or my personal favorite “What are you worried about if you haven’t done anything wrong?"

Let me ask you assholes a question.

Would you like it if a police officer followed you around everywhere and looked over your shoulder?

Why would it bother you if you didn’t do anything wrong.

Freedom, real freedom, actually fucking means something to me.





-Josh

You’re The Inspiration Part 5 – “These are the Voyages 1”

This week we are breaking the broad shotgun approach I’ve been taking in this series and concentrating on one subject. This week we are going to talk about my enduring love of Star Trek. Yes I know I’ve touched on Star Trek in the past but if you know me even a little bit you are aware of the penetration Star Trek has in my life. So without wasting any more time let’s dive into the world of Star Trek!



“Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.”



I’ve told you before that my initial exposure to Star Trek came from my father. From late nights o the couch watching it in syndication on a Metro Detroit UHF station (I’m unsure if it was channel 50 or 20). Those are some of the earliest memories of my father I have and they are my favorite.

Alright have your laugh, I love my Daddy.

Done?

Good, now go fuck yourself.

Star Trek was a thing I watched whenever I ran across it. This was in the days before the DVR, before cable was available in my area, and before anyone of my family’s income could afford a VCR. In those days I had no idea the phenomenon Star Trek was I only knew that even though the show was nearing 20 years old there was nothing else like it on TV in my mind. I didn’t know about the novel, I didn’t know about the comic books, and I didn’t know about the movies.

I’m going to present each branch of the Star Trek tree in the order I was exposed to them, except the movies which I will save for last. Each will get a small run down and then I will tell you how they influenced the creator I have become. I will also mention some of the stuff I didn’t like. Believe it or not there are some things.

Okay Ready?

Here we go…





Star Trek the Original Series (TOS)



This was the one that started it all and it’s arguably the granddaddy of all small screen science fiction. Yes I know there were other shows before it but this was the game changer. Of course I wasn’t around for the first broadcasts of TOS, I’m old kids but I’m not that old. I watched in syndication which meant it wasn’t until roughly 1989 that I saw uncut versions (I’ll talk about that later).

I am going to tell you something I’ve never admitted in pubic before… the original Star Trek theme music scared the piss out of my as a child. Still to this day the music of TOS can make a shiver run up and down my spine.

There were a lot of episodes of TOS which inspired me but I can nail it down to two which still have their hooks in most of what I write. One of them will be obvious and the other may surprise you. Or it might not how the fuck do I know.



Episode #114 – “Balance of Terror”

This episode is the first appearance of the Romulans in the Star Trek universe. The awesome thing about this episode is that it’s not a science fiction space story. This is a Cold War Submarine duel told in the Star Trek setting. It’s the way this episode ratchets up the tension that struck me even at an early age. It is a trick I’ve worked my ass off in an attempt to master for my own craft. At the end of the episode Kirk, having won the duel, and the Romulan Commander face one another on the view screen, they’ve developed deep respect for one another. The Romulan laments they could have been friends under different circumstances before destroying his ship.

The Romulan have always been my favorite Star Trek Antagonists.

An interesting side note to this. The first time I saw the movie The Hunt for Red October, this was in 1990 think, the first thing I thought of was the Star Trek Episode Balance of Terror. It was the dueling between the two Captains I loved most about that movie and when the two of them finally met, stoic Sean Connery and rawboned Scott Glenn. I was like “Yeah mother fuckers either hug or wrestle for my respect!”

Yeah Balance of Terror rocked my storytelling socks off!



Episode #204 – “Mirror Mirror”

This is the one I’m pretty sure you could have guessed. I’ve always loved seeing the things which are familiar turned on their heads and made strange and dark. While it is one of the episodes even non Trekkies…



I REFUSE TO SAY TREKKER IT’S TREKKIE DAMNIT ALL YOU OTHER TREKKIES NEED TO OWN THE FUCKING WORD AND TAKE IT BACK FROM THE OTHER GEEKS!!!



… know about. This is most likely because of the whole “Bearded Spock” thing. Although Uhura in that outfit gave me major wood and it still does.

In this episode a transporter accident sends some of our heroes into an alternate universe where all of the good guys are bad guys. Eventually with the help of still logical Bearded Spock they get home and can laugh it off. Starting with Deep Space Nine we would return to the Mirror Universe several times for some truly awesome episodes.

But this episode also traumatized me.

It was Chekov you see. In the “real” Star Trek Universe Ensign Pavel Chekov was one of my favorite characters, Sulu was my number one favorite. In the Mirror Universe Sulu was evil but still cool, maybe cooler, but Chekov… Chekov was a rapist. He didn’t rape anyone and it was Sulu who tried in his own way to seduce Uhura but Chekov looked like he wanted to fuck you and he didn’t care if you were a boy or a girl Rapist Chekov was going to corn hole you because that was how he rolled.

Still “Mirror Mirror” was an awesome episode of an awesome show.





Star Trek the Next Generation (TNG)



When it was decided that Star Trek would be revived on the small screen, there’d been four movies at this point, I was a full blown Trekkie (Not Trekker!!!). I was excited and as the pilot episode was burned into my brain I knew the way I imagined would be changed forever. TNG informed everything that came in the Trek Universe until the JJ Abrams reboot. I’m not going to speak too much about my love of this show either, I’ve rambled on about it in earlier essays. But in keeping with the format I will give you two episodes I still look to for inspiration in my writing.



Episode #326/401 – “Best of Both Worlds Parts 1 & 2”

These two episodes really could have been a movie. I’m not sure there is anything I can say about these episodes that hasn’t already been said a hundred times. The Borg, an enemy set up earlier in the series, invades the Federation. In a lightning quick maneuver they kidnap Captain Picard from the Enterprise and assimilate him into the Borg Collective. The Enterprise seeks a way to stop them and save Picard while the bulk of Starfleet engages the Borg Cube at Wolf 359. The fleet is decimated and the Borg ship continues towards earth. Eventually Picard is rescued and the cube is destroyed in orbit high above Earth.

I watched these episodes less than a week ago and they still hold up. Holy shit when Riker orders Wesley to prepare to ram the Borg Cube… I mean shit I pray I will be able to write scenes like that one of these days.



Episode #620 – “The Chase”

This episode has stuck with me for 20 years. I have probably rewatched this episode more than any other. Point of order, it’s actually playing on my Netflix as I write this.

In this one Picard’s for History/ Archaeology professor offers to take him as a partner to unravel an ancient mystery. Picard declines and then when his mentor is killed he takes up the mission. It turns out that there is a digital code embedded in much of the organic life in the galaxy and that several samples are needed to decode it.

After dealing with Cardassians, Kilingons, and my beloved Romulans it’s revealed that it’s a message from the first sentient species in the Galaxy. They were alone and seeded life amongst the stars, making all intelligent races related. The episode ends with the Romulan Commander telling Picard that perhaps they have more in common than they realized.

Yeah, it’s one of my all time favorite hours of television.





Star Trek the Animated Series (TAS)



When TNG premiered in 1987 all things Star Trek became popular once more and two very important things happened. The first was that my local FOX affiliate began airing all of the TOS episodes uncut. They also showed them all back to back in a weekend long marathon. Damn near killed grandmas ancient VCR that weekend. The second thing was that Nickelodeon started showing Star Trek the Animated series. I’d heard of the show put had never seen an episode. I like the series. It’s not great but I like it. However there was one episode that stuck with me. And by stuck with me I mean I’ve never forgotten it.



Episode #108 – “The Magiks of Megas-Tu”

Instead of giving my rundown allow me to lazily cut and paste in the Wikipedia entry. I realize that’s a copout but you know what? I don’t care.



On stardate 1254.4, while exploring near the center of the galaxy, the Federation starship USS Enterprise is caught inside an energy/matter vortex and all her computer systems fail. A being named Lucien appears on the bridge, repairs the ship's systems and takes the crew to explore his planet, Megas-Tu.

On this planet, magic and witchcraft are quite normal. The Megans are an ageless species that had, at one time, lived on Earth, and were responsible for the legends about witches. Lucien, their guide, is in reality the Lucifer of Earth mythology. During this time, the Enterprise crew begin to experiment with magic: Lt. Sulu conjures up a beautiful woman while Science Officer Spock creates a Vulcan chess game. Lucien then warns the crew that their experiments would draw unwanted attention, but it is too late. The crew are transported into Salem during the middle of a witch trial where Lucien is the creature placed on trial by the Megans.

The Megans are determined to put humanity and the Enterprise crew on trial for what humans did to their people during the Salem witch-trials. Kirk comes out in support of Lucien's life and says that killing him would make the Megans just like humans. Lucien's punishment is to be condemned into limbo for eternity for bringing humans into the Megans' world. While Kirk states that humanity has progressed infinitely since 1691, the Megans ignore his words. At the end of the trial, Kirk offers his life to save Lucien's and the Megans are so impressed by the captain's gesture that they spare Lucien, and tell the Enterprise that they would welcome future human visits to their planet. They also return the Enterprise to its proper universe.

This episode made Satan a good guy. Seriously in this children’s cartoon they flat out tell you that the Devil is actually mankind’s friend and that you can infer god and the angels were the bad guys. To 12 year old Josh this was a mind blowing concept.



Okay boils and ghouls this is where I put a pin in it. Next time we will talk about Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and enterprise. We will also touch on the novels, comic books, and the movies. But no matter what I say or do I hate all of you for making think of Rapist Chekov again.





-Josh

You’re The Inspiration Part 4 – “The Small Screen after Kindergarten”

Last time we talked about the television that which inspired young Josh before he started attending Kindergarten. There was a lot of psychedelic 70’s nostalgia in that essay and I loved writing it. Sometimes I really miss being a little kid. We didn’t have responsibility, we had the best toys, and my grandma let me have all the ice cream and Orange Crush I wanted.

Being a kid was awesome… of course now I get boobs, steak, booze, and blowjobs. Compared to that being a little kid was stupid and young Josh needs to stay locked in the mental basement where I keep the clowns and the Grimace who I was always convinced ate the children who patronized the McDonalds Play Place.

This time we will discuss the shows that I loved and continue to inspire me to this very day between the ages of 5 and 11/12. After that my life belonged to Star Trek for many years. Trek has been discussed before in the Cautious Descent series but I will be discussing it again in this cycle of essays. But Star Trek deserves its own installment and I will get to it later.



No single television show I experienced before the age of 12 influenced me more than G.I Joe: A Real American Hero (which will be referred to as GI Joe for the remainder of this essay). This also applies to toys as I’ve mentioned in an earlier essay. When I return to the world of comic books The Joe’s will return for a third and final appearance in this series. They will NOT be making an appearance in the Movie’s portion of this series because I refuse to believe those childhood raping installment exist. Although to be fair Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was awesome in the second one, which was a watchable movie but didn’t cleanse my pallet enough from the first one. Watching that first movie was like letting a hobo jerkoff in my mouth.

I read the GI Joe comic book long before the first television movie was broadcast. So I knew the characters and understood the back story of much of what was to come. I sat down that night and watched enthralled by the pace and the story telling, I’d never seen anything like it. This was in the days before the VCR was common place and a long time before somebody of my economic station had access to one. Therefore the only way to relive the awesomeness was to talk about it. And that was exactly what we did at school the next day until we were blue in the face.

The GI Joe television show was a phenomenon.

I don’t think I can put it in context for people who were not there to experience it firsthand. In this day and age when a cartoon blows up in popularity, Adventure Time and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic are the examples that spring to my mind, everyone knows in half an hour. Okay that may be an overstatement but in this interconnected world we live in people know everything in hours at the most.

And to be honest I love it!

Back in the days of word of mouth and monthly fan magazines it was hard to find fellow fans. It was akin to standing outside restroom stall and tapping your foot hoping the person inside got the point of the gesture. (Yes I stole that line nearly word for word from Kevin Smith’s seminal work “Tough Shit” just get over it). To make matters worse my best friend Jason was NOT a fan of GI Joe, in fact the only two other fans I knew were my Step uncle Bert (He of hay bale castle)and that toy stealing bastard Nathan Smith.

GI Joe was my first gateway into the realm of fan fiction. I’ve talked about this before but I think it needs to be restated because damn the show, and the comic books, was really important in my early creative life. There were three episodes of the show which in the end altered the way I look at writing and storytelling.

I am presenting the three episodes (one is a two parter) with very brief synopsis followed by an explanation of what I learned from them and why they’ve stuck with me until this very day.



Episode: 136/137 “Worlds Without End”

I think it’s safe to say this was the storyline which changed everything for me. In this story several of the Joe’s are involved in a training accident which results in them being shifted to a parallels dimension where Cobra defeated GI Joe and conquered the entire world. The Joe’s team up with the resistance, lead by the Baroness in an effort to get home.

This was the second time I was exposed to the idea of different timelines, the first having been the Star Trek Episode “Mirror Mirror”. It would be several years before I read the X-Men storyline “Days of Future Past” and had my mind completely blown. The idea that things could have been so different in another world yet so the same would influence the way I viewed or took in any form of fiction from that day forward.



Episode: 141 “The Gods Below”

This could be considered the “Jump the Shark” episode of GI Joe. In this one a team of Joe’s and a Team from Cobra travel to the dimension of the ancient Egyptian gods. It was a fun episode with Cobra trying to play the gods and the Joe’s convincing them that they were on the side of righteousness.

There is not a whole for m to say about this one other than it gave me the idea that ancient mythology could be mixed with modern Idea’s and something very cool would be the result. This was without a doubt my first introduction to the true mashup.



Episode: 207 “Computer Complications”

This is Romeo and Juliette done in GI Joe fashion and with no suicide. The overarching story has to do with computer espionage but that is just the backdrop for the true story. This was a love story. There had been “Romance in GI JOE” before. The Baroness and Destro had a torrid love affair while Lady Jay and Flint danced around the no fraternization rules time and time again. But in this one a member of Cobra (Zaranna) infiltrates the US government and in the process she falls in love with a Joe (Mainframe) who shares the feelings even after it’s revealed she’s an enemy agent. He final shot of them both looking at the same moon, he from a hospital bed and she from a Cobra encampment, is beautiful and haunting.

I know this is going to sound stupid but I learned Romance in part from this episode. I was so shocked that they did a bona fide romance and then several episodes later called back to when they had Zaranna let Mainframe go when she had him dead to rights without hesitation. It touched me even back in the 5th grade in a way which has never left me. I don’t know who thought of that but I would like to meet them and shake their hand.



There were other episodes that call to me in different ways but those are the three which always come to my mind when I think of the show. I watched other cartoons in those years. Robotech, Voltron, He-Man, Thundercats, and Transformers were the other biggies and while they all influenced me and I loved each of them they were minor players compared to GI Joe when it come to cartoons which would eventually influence my creativity.

When it comes to non cartoon shows there were several, other than Star Trek, which standout. Nightrider, The A-Team, Battlestar Galactica (watched in syndication), and The Twighlight Zone were all important and influential in my formative years. But there was one show, really 2 miniseries and 1 really bad season, that punched me in the gut. That would be the series V.

V was groundbreaking. It was the story of a human resistance trying to take back the Earth after aliens called The Visitors have conquered us without firing a shot. Through mind control and seizing key sectors of the economy the aliens are intent on stripping the planet of its water and its people to be used as slaves and food.

While I wrote my first tentative fan fictions on the GI Joe universe I exploded in the world of V. I created whole story arcs and characters that had nothing to do with the series yet fit firmly in the reality they’d established. I reveled in creating in that universe. It was magical and I remember it fondly.

Then my old friend Star Trek returned and nothing would be the same again.



That’s it for this essay. As you can see I definitely have a type when it comes to television shows. I seem to be inspired by the stuff that tends to end up on the Sci-Fi (I refuse to say SyFy mother fucker) channel. That’s not to say I don’t love all types of shows but for the subject of this essay I am concentrating on the shows which helped define my creative style.

That’s it for this one Boils and Ghouls. Next time we dive into the Star Trek Television shows and the atom bomb effect they had on my creatively. We will also speak of my erotic fantasies involving Dr. Crusher and perhaps stripping Star Trek Mego’s nude so Spiderman wouldn’t be lonely.



-Josh

You’re The Inspiration Part 3 – “The Small Screen before Kindergarten”

I know it’s been a little bit since I did an installment of this series of essays. All I can say is I’ve had other things on my mind and a lot of work to do in the real world and yes that is every bit as awful as it sounds. But now my freaks and freakettes things seem to have calmed down and I can continue my Peabody Award Winning series (No awards actually won) of essays.



Some of my earliest memories involve the television. There are a lot of people who like to tell you that television stifles creativity, I like to think I am living breathing proof this claim is complete bullshit. That being said I am a parent of 6 now and like every parent I am kind of a hypocrite when it comes to things like television watching. I do my best to limit their time.

Yeah I know… I’m the devil.

Before my first year of school (1981) I was the standard child television watcher in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s. I was a Sesame Street kid from the very beginning. As a matter of fact I learned to pee in the potty watching Sesame Street with my best friend Jason. We’d drag our potty chairs out into the living room, my mom babysat Jason before we started kindergarten, and watch Burt and Ernie with our underwear around our ankles.

I am sure there is a lesson in that but I can’t identify it.

Along with The Street I watched Mr. Rogers, The Great Space Coaster, The Electric Company, some oddball shows from Canada (The Big Friendly Giant & Mr. Dressup), and a distinctly Detroit based local show called Hot Fudge. If you have never seen that show you need to stop reading this essay, go to YouTube, search for the show, and watch it now!

I’ll wait.

Did you watch it?

Was your fucking mind blown?

Yeah my friends and enemies that was the kind of stuff young josh, who still wore an eye patch and goggles, ingested on a regular basis. Are you really still wondering why my views on the world are so twisted? But damn there was a long time between Hot Fudge and Adult Swim and that was not a good thing.

Those shows are well and good for laying the foundations of inspiration but they are not the fare which eventually wound its way into my creative fabric. The show which did that first, and maybe best, was Thundarr the Barbarian.

Thundarr was the single entertainment venue which made me love the Post Apocalyptic genre. That’s not even accurate, Thundarr made me obsessed with the idea of life after the destruction and fall of our civilization. Add to that the boobs on Princess Ariel and there really is no doubting the effect this show had on me.

If you don’t know the story of Thundarr let me give it to you in a fast handy dandy bulleted list (because I know how much you love those).

{C}· In 1994 (The year I graduated High School) a runaway plant passes between the earth and the moon, disintegrating the moon and giving the makers of the Time Machine remake a cool visual to steal.

{C}· The story takes place 2000 years in the future on a mutated earth filled with monsters, aliens, wizards, and super science. (Yes it does seem to be an influence on one of my favorite Role Playing Games of all time).

{C}· The humans in the world are mostly pathetic survivors who are hopefully overmatched by the wizards and monsters.

{C}· The setting is filled with the ruins of the past and the creations of the future. The one that really nailed me hard was when they went to the site of Mt. Rushmore and you realized the northern great plains were now an inland sea and Mt. Rushmore was now a cliff face overlooking the water.

{C}· Unlike many kids show of the era it was the characters that were the heart of the show. Although there were a few arcing storylines it was the character driven aspect which made it unique. And who were the main characters?

{C}o Thundarr – He is the hero and a barbarian. A former slave gladiator who escapes the arena and with his magical Sun Sword and the help of his two best friends travels the world helping the humans and good thinking nonhumans.

{C}o Ooklah the Mok – Mok’s are a race of humanoid with a leonine bent to their physiology. They are very intelligent and get on well with humans. Ooklah was also a slave warrior and escaped with Thundarr. The two are the best of friends and would die for one another.

{C}o Princess Ariel - Ariel was raised in a more civilized setting and is a historian along with being a sorceress. Ariel was the first female character I remember thinking “She is a complete badass” she was more powerful than either of the warriors in the show and on several occasions the day would have been lost without her.

I can point this show as unequivocally being the first thing program to weave its way into my creative sphere. I can trace many of the tropes I incorporated into my game writing and then into my fiction writing to Thundarr.

Now of course Thundarr was far from the only show that influenced me before I discovered girl, boys, boobies, and butts. But before the amazing arrival of a certain Real American Hero on the screen it was the one that stuck with me and caused me to create. I would imagine my own stories involving Thundarr and the characters the show introduced. I continued the storylines the show started and never finished. And always the “Swamp Urchin” returned to help them fight a returning King Kong over and over again.



That’s it for this one. Next time we will delve into GI Joe, Transformers, Master of the Universe, Thundercats, and Voltron. I am a child of the 80’s and by the time cartoons of the 90’s were the rage I had other things on my mind… naughty things!

Until next time Boils and Ghouls I leave you to find a Pixie Hand Job and to continue the investigation into naked Mego Spiderman. We have to crack this case and I am considering asking Mathew Mcconaughey for help. Because if JKL can’t solve it nobody can, and remember if you are in a tight spot just yell…



“Ariel, Ooklah, RIDE!!!”





-Josh