Arno Ilgner's Blog, page 3
July 25, 2022
Do You Do Achievement Motivation Wrong?
Which motivation should you choose?
How many times have you felt like you had to choose between achievement and learning-based motivation? You were told about the importance of achieving goals and also told to value the learning process. So which motivation should you choose?
I came across this article, Achievement Motivation Training, recently because our trainer team was investigating how achievement motivation interferes with effective coaching. For example, we may keep students engaged in a drill, such as falling practice, too long because we’re motivated by seeing them fall perfectly so they can feel successful. In reality, keeping them engaged too long exhausts them and their ability to fall correctly diminishes. This creates neural networks in their brains that reinforce this exhausted expression of falling instead of the ideal we want to move them toward. In other words, they digress instead of progress with their skill of falling.
Achieve to Succeed
The article points to an interesting problem that achievement motivation training addresses. We need to achieve to succeed in this modern, capitalistic system we’re all a part of. So it makes sense that it would be helpful to train ourselves on how to improve our motivation to achieve.
But–and it’s a big but–this assumes we want to arrive at the destination we’re being motivated toward. Here, the end justifies the means, and we’ll use any means, including training ourselves to improve our achievement motivation, to achieve the end.
Photo by Brook Anderson on Unsplash
Lacking Consciousness
I think this kind of motivation training can lack consciousness. It could cause us to focus on achievement for the sake of achievement, with little regard for the learning journey. It can also create a sense that our lives today aren't okay, so we need to strive for a better tomorrow.
In other words, we start from a premise that the world today is unacceptable. So, we’re motivated toward a future world we think will be better than today. We judge our current lives, resisting the struggles. That resistance and non-acceptance is what drives us, motivates us, toward achieving that future state. This creates an either/or choice with our motivation. Consciously or not, we feel we have to choose between our current struggles and our future ideals. Since our current struggles are more stressful than our image of a problem-solved future, we choose to be motivated toward the future.
Both/And
The Warrior’s Way® teaches that both achievement and learning-based motivations are important. This is a both/and understanding of motivation. It sits on a foundation of
both accepting the world exactly as it is currently and working toward a better future. You’re motivated both by goals and the work that’s required to achieve them.
This both/and approach helps you enjoy both what you’re doing during the journey and when you achieve the destination. If you’re going to do achievement motivation training, then do it consciously. Find a balance by also doing learning-based motivation training. Be motivated by knowing your life can both be okay today and you can work toward a better tomorrow.
How many times have you felt like you had to choose between achievement and learning-based motivation? You were told about the importance of achieving goals and also told to value the learning process. So which motivation should you choose?
I came across this article, Achievement Motivation Training, recently because our trainer team was investigating how achievement motivation interferes with effective coaching. For example, we may keep students engaged in a drill, such as falling practice, too long because we’re motivated by seeing them fall perfectly so they can feel successful. In reality, keeping them engaged too long exhausts them and their ability to fall correctly diminishes. This creates neural networks in their brains that reinforce this exhausted expression of falling instead of the ideal we want to move them toward. In other words, they digress instead of progress with their skill of falling.
Achieve to Succeed
The article points to an interesting problem that achievement motivation training addresses. We need to achieve to succeed in this modern, capitalistic system we’re all a part of. So it makes sense that it would be helpful to train ourselves on how to improve our motivation to achieve.
But–and it’s a big but–this assumes we want to arrive at the destination we’re being motivated toward. Here, the end justifies the means, and we’ll use any means, including training ourselves to improve our achievement motivation, to achieve the end.
Photo by Brook Anderson on Unsplash
Lacking Consciousness
I think this kind of motivation training can lack consciousness. It could cause us to focus on achievement for the sake of achievement, with little regard for the learning journey. It can also create a sense that our lives today aren't okay, so we need to strive for a better tomorrow.
In other words, we start from a premise that the world today is unacceptable. So, we’re motivated toward a future world we think will be better than today. We judge our current lives, resisting the struggles. That resistance and non-acceptance is what drives us, motivates us, toward achieving that future state. This creates an either/or choice with our motivation. Consciously or not, we feel we have to choose between our current struggles and our future ideals. Since our current struggles are more stressful than our image of a problem-solved future, we choose to be motivated toward the future.
Both/And
The Warrior’s Way® teaches that both achievement and learning-based motivations are important. This is a both/and understanding of motivation. It sits on a foundation of
both accepting the world exactly as it is currently and working toward a better future. You’re motivated both by goals and the work that’s required to achieve them.
This both/and approach helps you enjoy both what you’re doing during the journey and when you achieve the destination. If you’re going to do achievement motivation training, then do it consciously. Find a balance by also doing learning-based motivation training. Be motivated by knowing your life can both be okay today and you can work toward a better tomorrow.
July 18, 2022
How the Mind Scares Itself
The Obed
I was climbing at the Obed area in Tennessee with Benji and Wes, two local climbers I’m working with to improve their mental game. After some warm-up routes, we got on Barbwire and Lingerie (5.12b) for an on-sight effort. The route begins with some small crimp holds on an overhanging wall as one climbs past the first two bolts. It also has a crux near the top that is difficult to figure out. Wes went first, climbed confidently through the lower section, climbed into a sequence he couldn’t reverse on the upper crux, and fell. I had a similar experience. Then it was Benji’s turn.
I asked Benji what he was thinking about before he started climbing. He said he had a lot of questions surrounding the uncertainty of being able to clip the second bolt. “Will I be able to hang onto the small crimps? Will I be able to clip the bolt? Will I hit the ground if I fall while clipping?”
He felt anxious about the uncertainty created by these questions. Then he shared an interesting observation: he felt anxious about becoming anxious. He imagined holding onto the small crimps, becoming anxious, and felt anxious about being on the route in such a state.
Fear & Anxiety
Mental training has many parts and one of its most interesting ones is how the mind scares itself. It’s challenging enough to deal with tangible fears like fear of falling. These fears come directly from the situation. There’s a possibility of falling and we fear that tangible consequence.
What’s more challenging is finding our way through intangible fears that create a toxic inner situation. Being anxious about becoming anxious isn’t generated by the situation. It’s created by how the mind reacts to the situation. We crave certainty and knowing we might become anxious removes that certainty.
I asked Benji what he intended to do about the anxiety. He said something very interesting: “Some questions can’t be answered.” He explained that simply asking questions and thinking about what could happen doesn’t give us enough information. Rather, what’s required is experiencing the situation itself. Benji knew he needed to climb and let his engagement give him answers.
Observing the Mind
The ability to observe the mind’s desire for certain answers is a critical part of mental training. The mind tends to be motivated by achieving an end state that is comfortable, such as arriving at the top of a climb, or successfully clipping a bolt. Achieving a comfortable end state is uncertain, which shifts our attention into the mind, causing a toxic downward spiral of anxiety that feeds upon itself. We’re anxious about becoming anxious, which steadily diminishes our confidence.
We shift our attention to escape this toxic downward spiral. Instead of focusing our attention on what is uncertain, we focus it on what is certain. We’re uncertain about outcomes; we’re certain about processes. We’re uncertain about our ability to achieve a comfortable end state; we’re certain about taking small steps through stress as we move toward that end state.
Outcomes & Processes
Outcomes are uncertain. We don’t know if we’ll be able to achieve them because they exist in the future. Thinking about outcomes keeps our attention in the mind, focused on what we can’t control and creates anxiety.
Processes are certain. They’re actions. We know how to do processes such as breathing, relaxing, and moving. These processes occur in the present moment. Focusing on them shifts our attention to the body, what we can control, and diminishes anxiety.
To be effective in making this shift requires recognizing when we’re in such a state. This is what Benji did. He recognized that the questions his mind was asking couldn’t be answered prior to engagement. From that observation, he was able to let engagement give him the answers. He focused on breathing, staying relaxed, and moving as he grabbed the small crimps and climbed to the second bolt. He found a stance and clipped it. Then he continued to the top, succeeding on his hardest on-sight to date.
Observing the mind create anxiety and intentionally focusing our attention on processes, changes uncertainty to certainty. By focusing on certain processes we don’t let the mind scare us. We’re able to relax into the stressful present and take small steps through it.
Practice Tip: Certain Processes
The mind creates questions about uncertain outcomes. Recognize that it’s asking such questions to create certainty in an uncertain situation, which creates anxiety. That anxiety is created by the mind, not the situation.
Certain processes such as breathing, staying relaxed, and moving allow you to make small steps. One small step will present the next small step. You may need to retreat or continue, but the certainty of the processes will give you the answers, not the mind.
I was climbing at the Obed area in Tennessee with Benji and Wes, two local climbers I’m working with to improve their mental game. After some warm-up routes, we got on Barbwire and Lingerie (5.12b) for an on-sight effort. The route begins with some small crimp holds on an overhanging wall as one climbs past the first two bolts. It also has a crux near the top that is difficult to figure out. Wes went first, climbed confidently through the lower section, climbed into a sequence he couldn’t reverse on the upper crux, and fell. I had a similar experience. Then it was Benji’s turn.
I asked Benji what he was thinking about before he started climbing. He said he had a lot of questions surrounding the uncertainty of being able to clip the second bolt. “Will I be able to hang onto the small crimps? Will I be able to clip the bolt? Will I hit the ground if I fall while clipping?”
He felt anxious about the uncertainty created by these questions. Then he shared an interesting observation: he felt anxious about becoming anxious. He imagined holding onto the small crimps, becoming anxious, and felt anxious about being on the route in such a state.
Fear & Anxiety
Mental training has many parts and one of its most interesting ones is how the mind scares itself. It’s challenging enough to deal with tangible fears like fear of falling. These fears come directly from the situation. There’s a possibility of falling and we fear that tangible consequence.
What’s more challenging is finding our way through intangible fears that create a toxic inner situation. Being anxious about becoming anxious isn’t generated by the situation. It’s created by how the mind reacts to the situation. We crave certainty and knowing we might become anxious removes that certainty.
I asked Benji what he intended to do about the anxiety. He said something very interesting: “Some questions can’t be answered.” He explained that simply asking questions and thinking about what could happen doesn’t give us enough information. Rather, what’s required is experiencing the situation itself. Benji knew he needed to climb and let his engagement give him answers.
Observing the Mind
The ability to observe the mind’s desire for certain answers is a critical part of mental training. The mind tends to be motivated by achieving an end state that is comfortable, such as arriving at the top of a climb, or successfully clipping a bolt. Achieving a comfortable end state is uncertain, which shifts our attention into the mind, causing a toxic downward spiral of anxiety that feeds upon itself. We’re anxious about becoming anxious, which steadily diminishes our confidence.
We shift our attention to escape this toxic downward spiral. Instead of focusing our attention on what is uncertain, we focus it on what is certain. We’re uncertain about outcomes; we’re certain about processes. We’re uncertain about our ability to achieve a comfortable end state; we’re certain about taking small steps through stress as we move toward that end state.
Outcomes & Processes
Outcomes are uncertain. We don’t know if we’ll be able to achieve them because they exist in the future. Thinking about outcomes keeps our attention in the mind, focused on what we can’t control and creates anxiety.
Processes are certain. They’re actions. We know how to do processes such as breathing, relaxing, and moving. These processes occur in the present moment. Focusing on them shifts our attention to the body, what we can control, and diminishes anxiety.
To be effective in making this shift requires recognizing when we’re in such a state. This is what Benji did. He recognized that the questions his mind was asking couldn’t be answered prior to engagement. From that observation, he was able to let engagement give him the answers. He focused on breathing, staying relaxed, and moving as he grabbed the small crimps and climbed to the second bolt. He found a stance and clipped it. Then he continued to the top, succeeding on his hardest on-sight to date.
Observing the mind create anxiety and intentionally focusing our attention on processes, changes uncertainty to certainty. By focusing on certain processes we don’t let the mind scare us. We’re able to relax into the stressful present and take small steps through it.
Practice Tip: Certain Processes
The mind creates questions about uncertain outcomes. Recognize that it’s asking such questions to create certainty in an uncertain situation, which creates anxiety. That anxiety is created by the mind, not the situation.
Certain processes such as breathing, staying relaxed, and moving allow you to make small steps. One small step will present the next small step. You may need to retreat or continue, but the certainty of the processes will give you the answers, not the mind.
July 11, 2022
Fear or Flow
Flow, how to understand it and how to live it, is critically important for our global mental health. Flow addresses how to live in the present, instead of an imagined future. In warrior speak, we learn to live by trusting how life unfolds.
I’ll be participating in the first Flow Conference, hosted by Cameron Norsworthy. My presentation will address How Motivation Impacts Our Ability to Learn. The conference will occur August 31 and September 1. Check the links for registration, one of which is free.
As an early teaser, check out Cameron’s TEDx Talk Fear or Flow. Below are some of my takeaways:
We need to realize that we hold the reins of our own experience. You have a choice and that choice can change your life. What’s the choice? That your happiness doesn’t come from chasing after it in some imagined future. Rather, it comes from deep engagement with worthwhile challenges. “Deep engagement” means now, in the present moment.
A gap is created between an imagined reality and reality itself. Our motivation can move us, usually unconsciously, toward that future imagined reality. In actual reality, the future never arrives. Tomorrow will be today when it arrives. A future moment will be a present moment when it arrives. We begin living in flow when we bring this unconscious motivation to our awareness.
Constantly striving for and being motivated by the future puts us in survival mode. Flow puts us in thriving mode. Survival mode activates the sympathetic nervous system, getting us to fight, flee, or freeze to escape the present moment. It narrows our attention toward the goal, blinding us from everything we need to be attentive to in the moment.
In climbing, we react to stress by rushing through it. Our attention narrows to just wanting to get the climbing over-with. At the top, we’re relieved that the effort is over. We survive, but miss drawing the value from the effort. We miss having an optimal experience to enjoy for its own sake.
The old message of “push harder, tough it out, or get ‘er done” all come at the detriment of our internal experience. They are outdated. They create anxiety, fear, and frustration. We sacrifice our internal experience for the achievement of an external goal. It stems from the mindset of prioritizing external over internal, productivity over presence, outcome over process.
We’ve created a world in which 76% of employees are disengaged at work, 75% of young girls are stressed about achieving good grades, and 45% of all of us will suffer from some mental health related illness. It’s up to all of us to lower these percentages.
Understanding how to shift motivation and get into flow more frequently can reverse these trends. Flow requires that process goals be more important than achievement goals. Process goals keep our attention focused on the processes that occur in the moment, rather than distracted toward achievements. We want to be in the present stress, guided by goals, but not consumed by them.
Cameron offers three steps for making this shift:
Mindset: Prioritize flow by focusing on the quality of your internal experience. Focus on maintaining an expanded body and an observant mind as the grounding for your attention.
Preparation: You can’t just expect the body/mind to get into flow. You need to train your mind and body to deal with stress better. This is what mental training does. It trains attention by rewiring the body/mind so your whole approach to life changes over time.
Immersion: You need to shift your consciousness. Immersion requires being attentive all day long. You make a choice to change how you’re motivated and how you’ll focus your attention. You’re motivated by the present challenge. You want to be in it. And you redirect your attention to it whenever you notice it’s distracted.
With flow as your True North, you’ll feel better, you’ll perform better, and most importantly, you’ll pass on a powerful blueprint to the next generation. You’ll help heal the current mental health issues impacting the world.
I’ll be participating in the first Flow Conference, hosted by Cameron Norsworthy. My presentation will address How Motivation Impacts Our Ability to Learn. The conference will occur August 31 and September 1. Check the links for registration, one of which is free.
As an early teaser, check out Cameron’s TEDx Talk Fear or Flow. Below are some of my takeaways:
We need to realize that we hold the reins of our own experience. You have a choice and that choice can change your life. What’s the choice? That your happiness doesn’t come from chasing after it in some imagined future. Rather, it comes from deep engagement with worthwhile challenges. “Deep engagement” means now, in the present moment.
A gap is created between an imagined reality and reality itself. Our motivation can move us, usually unconsciously, toward that future imagined reality. In actual reality, the future never arrives. Tomorrow will be today when it arrives. A future moment will be a present moment when it arrives. We begin living in flow when we bring this unconscious motivation to our awareness.
Constantly striving for and being motivated by the future puts us in survival mode. Flow puts us in thriving mode. Survival mode activates the sympathetic nervous system, getting us to fight, flee, or freeze to escape the present moment. It narrows our attention toward the goal, blinding us from everything we need to be attentive to in the moment.
In climbing, we react to stress by rushing through it. Our attention narrows to just wanting to get the climbing over-with. At the top, we’re relieved that the effort is over. We survive, but miss drawing the value from the effort. We miss having an optimal experience to enjoy for its own sake.
The old message of “push harder, tough it out, or get ‘er done” all come at the detriment of our internal experience. They are outdated. They create anxiety, fear, and frustration. We sacrifice our internal experience for the achievement of an external goal. It stems from the mindset of prioritizing external over internal, productivity over presence, outcome over process.
We’ve created a world in which 76% of employees are disengaged at work, 75% of young girls are stressed about achieving good grades, and 45% of all of us will suffer from some mental health related illness. It’s up to all of us to lower these percentages.
Understanding how to shift motivation and get into flow more frequently can reverse these trends. Flow requires that process goals be more important than achievement goals. Process goals keep our attention focused on the processes that occur in the moment, rather than distracted toward achievements. We want to be in the present stress, guided by goals, but not consumed by them.
Cameron offers three steps for making this shift:
Mindset: Prioritize flow by focusing on the quality of your internal experience. Focus on maintaining an expanded body and an observant mind as the grounding for your attention.
Preparation: You can’t just expect the body/mind to get into flow. You need to train your mind and body to deal with stress better. This is what mental training does. It trains attention by rewiring the body/mind so your whole approach to life changes over time.
Immersion: You need to shift your consciousness. Immersion requires being attentive all day long. You make a choice to change how you’re motivated and how you’ll focus your attention. You’re motivated by the present challenge. You want to be in it. And you redirect your attention to it whenever you notice it’s distracted.
With flow as your True North, you’ll feel better, you’ll perform better, and most importantly, you’ll pass on a powerful blueprint to the next generation. You’ll help heal the current mental health issues impacting the world.
July 5, 2022
No Preferences; Constant Improvement
When we look around us, we can feel like our world is heading for disaster. We might be upset by continual war or corruption in politics. We feel anxious that the world is so messed up. We work feverishly to make the world a better place, changing it to what we think it should be.
Could it be that the world has always been the way it is today?
When we review history, we see disastrous wars, persecution of minorities, and corruption in politics ubiquitous through time. From the beginning of recorded history, through Genghis Khan, the World Wars, to Iraq today, the human race has continually been at war. Similarly, there have been continual persecutions of minorities, such as religious groups and non-religious groups, throughout time. Also, ancient Rome, and all forms of government since, have had degrees of corruption. This is the reality of how the world has been in the past, how it is today, and how it will be in the future.
If the world has always been the way it is today, then why do we think we need to change it? Could it be that our perception of the world is what’s wrong? Could it be beneficial to shift our perspective so we’re aligned with the reality of how the world is, instead of resisting it? But how can we move beyond our perception that the world is messed up and accept it?
If we accept the reality of how the world is, then we can actually take action to affect change. We can make the world a better place by not thinking it should be different than it is.
Action Required
Affecting change, however, requires action. Necessity is the mother of invention. When the need for something becomes imperative, we’re forced to find ways of change it. When we’re at war, we need peace; when we’re discriminated against, we need justice; when we witness corruption, we need truthfulness. The necessities of peace, justice, and truthfulness create an imperative need within us to take action. These necessities, together with accepting the world as it is, are part of the constant evolving nature of the world.
Resisting reality puts us in a state of constant anxiety. We live a life torn between reality and our perception of it. Living such a life diminishes our enjoyment and ability to take effective action on causes important to us. If we pay attention to the needs within us, then we can take action without anxiety. We’re not torn apart; we’re moving in unison in the direction of an evolving world.
The Climbing Process
Let’s bring this perspective to our climbing process. How many times have we complained about climbing holds being unusable, frustrated by our own effort, or wishing the climbing wasn’t so exhausting? We think our climbing situation isn’t as it should be. We think we’ll have a better climbing situation if the holds were bigger, if our effort was better, or if the climbing wasn’t so exhausting.
In reality, the climbing holds are as big or small as they are, not how we wish them to be. Our effort was whatever it was, not how we wished it to be. The climbing was as exhausting for us as it was, not how we wished it to be.
Affecting change requires action. Necessity again points the way. When we experience unusable holds, we need usable ones; when we feel frustration we need curiosity; when we feel exhaustion we need relaxation. The necessity of usable holds, curiosity, and relaxation create a need within us to take action. These necessities stimulate us to grow.
No Preferences
The Third Patriarch of Zen, Hsin Hsin Ming, said: “The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences.” My interpretation of Ming’s preferences is preferring comfort and resisting stress. Life is full of stress and resisting it actually causes more stress. By shifting our perspective to not having preferences for comfort, we create a more effective and enjoyable situation for us.
For example, imagine we’re working a crux sequence on a route. We wish a hold was bigger than it is, resisting the reality of the situation. Wishing a hold was bigger creates additional stress. Whereas, if we accept holds as they are, then we only have the stress of figuring out the crux sequence. By accepting holds as they are, we allow the necessity for usable holds to guide us to solve the crux sequence.
Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash
Imagine that we’ve fallen on a route. By getting frustrated that we fell, we resist the reality of the situation. Then, we have to deal with figuring out why we fell, plus frustration. Whereas, if we accept that we fell, then we only have to figure out why we fell. By accepting that we fell, we allow the necessity of curiosity to guide us to figure out why we fell.
Imagine we’re on a climb, completely exhausted. By thinking we shouldn’t be exhausted, we resist the reality of the situation. Then, we have the additional stress of resisting it. Whereas, if we accept the exhaustion as it is, then we have only the exhaustion to deal with. By accepting exhaustion, we allow the necessity of relaxation to guide us to figure out how to rest so we can regain strength and stay engaged.
Pay Attention
If we pay attention to the need for growth within us, then we can take action without anxiety. We’re not torn apart, fighting the reality of how the climbing situation is; we’re moving in unison with the constantly evolving learning situation.
The world has been, currently is, and will always have stressful events like war, minority discrimination, and corruption. Also, our climbing will always include stress. By accepting reality, we can let necessity move us, and enjoy the learning process; not think the world should be different, or live in a constant state of anxiety.
The more quickly we can accept this reality, the more spontaneously we can take effective action. This is what Zen teaches for developing a free mind, a mind unencumbered by preferences. By not having preferences for comfort; but instead, accepting situations as they are, we can act spontaneously on what’s necessary, and apply ourselves to affect change. Making the world a better place is achieved without anxiety because we don’t have preferences that interfere with reality.
Practice Tip: It is what it is
How many times have you thought a situation should have been different? You had preferences for comfort that resisted the reality of the situation. Perhaps you said:
“If the crux wasn’t so reachy, then I would have been able to climb it.”
“I’ve been training, so I should have been able to climb the route.”
“I was too exhausted to rest and regain strength, so I couldn’t continue climbing.”
Rather, eliminate preferences for comfort and accept the situation as it is. Say:
“How can I reach through the crux?”
“What do I still need to learn to climb the route?”
“How long can I rest, even if I feel like I’m too exhausted, and then continue climbing?”
Improving your climbing will not be as difficult, if you don’t have preferences for comfort.
Could it be that the world has always been the way it is today?
When we review history, we see disastrous wars, persecution of minorities, and corruption in politics ubiquitous through time. From the beginning of recorded history, through Genghis Khan, the World Wars, to Iraq today, the human race has continually been at war. Similarly, there have been continual persecutions of minorities, such as religious groups and non-religious groups, throughout time. Also, ancient Rome, and all forms of government since, have had degrees of corruption. This is the reality of how the world has been in the past, how it is today, and how it will be in the future.
If the world has always been the way it is today, then why do we think we need to change it? Could it be that our perception of the world is what’s wrong? Could it be beneficial to shift our perspective so we’re aligned with the reality of how the world is, instead of resisting it? But how can we move beyond our perception that the world is messed up and accept it?
If we accept the reality of how the world is, then we can actually take action to affect change. We can make the world a better place by not thinking it should be different than it is.
Action Required
Affecting change, however, requires action. Necessity is the mother of invention. When the need for something becomes imperative, we’re forced to find ways of change it. When we’re at war, we need peace; when we’re discriminated against, we need justice; when we witness corruption, we need truthfulness. The necessities of peace, justice, and truthfulness create an imperative need within us to take action. These necessities, together with accepting the world as it is, are part of the constant evolving nature of the world.
Resisting reality puts us in a state of constant anxiety. We live a life torn between reality and our perception of it. Living such a life diminishes our enjoyment and ability to take effective action on causes important to us. If we pay attention to the needs within us, then we can take action without anxiety. We’re not torn apart; we’re moving in unison in the direction of an evolving world.
The Climbing Process
Let’s bring this perspective to our climbing process. How many times have we complained about climbing holds being unusable, frustrated by our own effort, or wishing the climbing wasn’t so exhausting? We think our climbing situation isn’t as it should be. We think we’ll have a better climbing situation if the holds were bigger, if our effort was better, or if the climbing wasn’t so exhausting.
In reality, the climbing holds are as big or small as they are, not how we wish them to be. Our effort was whatever it was, not how we wished it to be. The climbing was as exhausting for us as it was, not how we wished it to be.
Affecting change requires action. Necessity again points the way. When we experience unusable holds, we need usable ones; when we feel frustration we need curiosity; when we feel exhaustion we need relaxation. The necessity of usable holds, curiosity, and relaxation create a need within us to take action. These necessities stimulate us to grow.
No Preferences
The Third Patriarch of Zen, Hsin Hsin Ming, said: “The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences.” My interpretation of Ming’s preferences is preferring comfort and resisting stress. Life is full of stress and resisting it actually causes more stress. By shifting our perspective to not having preferences for comfort, we create a more effective and enjoyable situation for us.
For example, imagine we’re working a crux sequence on a route. We wish a hold was bigger than it is, resisting the reality of the situation. Wishing a hold was bigger creates additional stress. Whereas, if we accept holds as they are, then we only have the stress of figuring out the crux sequence. By accepting holds as they are, we allow the necessity for usable holds to guide us to solve the crux sequence.
Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash
Imagine that we’ve fallen on a route. By getting frustrated that we fell, we resist the reality of the situation. Then, we have to deal with figuring out why we fell, plus frustration. Whereas, if we accept that we fell, then we only have to figure out why we fell. By accepting that we fell, we allow the necessity of curiosity to guide us to figure out why we fell.
Imagine we’re on a climb, completely exhausted. By thinking we shouldn’t be exhausted, we resist the reality of the situation. Then, we have the additional stress of resisting it. Whereas, if we accept the exhaustion as it is, then we have only the exhaustion to deal with. By accepting exhaustion, we allow the necessity of relaxation to guide us to figure out how to rest so we can regain strength and stay engaged.
Pay Attention
If we pay attention to the need for growth within us, then we can take action without anxiety. We’re not torn apart, fighting the reality of how the climbing situation is; we’re moving in unison with the constantly evolving learning situation.
The world has been, currently is, and will always have stressful events like war, minority discrimination, and corruption. Also, our climbing will always include stress. By accepting reality, we can let necessity move us, and enjoy the learning process; not think the world should be different, or live in a constant state of anxiety.
The more quickly we can accept this reality, the more spontaneously we can take effective action. This is what Zen teaches for developing a free mind, a mind unencumbered by preferences. By not having preferences for comfort; but instead, accepting situations as they are, we can act spontaneously on what’s necessary, and apply ourselves to affect change. Making the world a better place is achieved without anxiety because we don’t have preferences that interfere with reality.
Practice Tip: It is what it is
How many times have you thought a situation should have been different? You had preferences for comfort that resisted the reality of the situation. Perhaps you said:
“If the crux wasn’t so reachy, then I would have been able to climb it.”
“I’ve been training, so I should have been able to climb the route.”
“I was too exhausted to rest and regain strength, so I couldn’t continue climbing.”
Rather, eliminate preferences for comfort and accept the situation as it is. Say:
“How can I reach through the crux?”
“What do I still need to learn to climb the route?”
“How long can I rest, even if I feel like I’m too exhausted, and then continue climbing?”
Improving your climbing will not be as difficult, if you don’t have preferences for comfort.
June 27, 2022
How do Expectations Impact Sport Performance?
This is a cool article on expectations written by Amy Tardio for Perform Sports Psychology titled The Impact of Expectations on Sport Performance. She begins with points athletes make about the apparent need for focusing on the goal and the consequences of doing that:
“Shouldn’t I expect success? After all, if I expect to lose, I probably will, right?”
“I feel so much pressure when I’m expected to win. I become so anxious that I mess up and under-perform.”
She quotes a sports psychologist, Daria Abramowicz, who states that high expectations are one of the biggest hurdles to performance. Tardio states that Abramowicz also has a solution: have low expectations and high standards.
“This mindset focuses on putting in the physical and mental work every day and paying attention to the little things that contribute to great success. Focusing on your work keeps your mind busy on something you can control and minimizes the stress that comes with focusing on expectations.”
Photo by Fionn Claydon on Unsplash
You can see here how focusing on the process, when you’re in the process, is what helps keep your attention on task.
Here are some additional observations:
You can have high expectations and high standards. It’s a matter of when and on what you set expectations.
You can expect to succeed at some point in the future (when). And, you can expect to exert your best efforts (on what) now, as you work toward that success.
“Shouldn’t I expect success?” Yes, but when to expect it is unknown. So don’t put a timestamp on it.
“I feel so much pressure when I’m expected to win.” This pressure is self imposed due to the timestamp we put on success.
How can you not put a timestamp on success when engaged in a specific event that’s bounded by a specific time? Success will happen today, during this competitive event, or not. It won’t happen in the future because this event will be over.
Here we come up against the dilemma for athletes, but also for the rest of us. Know what you can and can’t control. You can’t control when success will occur, but you can control your effort. So, the challenge for all of us, athlete and otherwise, is to acknowledge this and then deliberately focus on the process and the effort. This isn’t necessarily easy to do when you really want to succeed. But, you can shift your focus to really wanting to apply yourself to the effort. You can want to enjoy that struggle. Winning, then, will be a more meaningful experience for you because you’ve enjoy the struggle and the success.
“Shouldn’t I expect success? After all, if I expect to lose, I probably will, right?”
“I feel so much pressure when I’m expected to win. I become so anxious that I mess up and under-perform.”
She quotes a sports psychologist, Daria Abramowicz, who states that high expectations are one of the biggest hurdles to performance. Tardio states that Abramowicz also has a solution: have low expectations and high standards.
“This mindset focuses on putting in the physical and mental work every day and paying attention to the little things that contribute to great success. Focusing on your work keeps your mind busy on something you can control and minimizes the stress that comes with focusing on expectations.”
Photo by Fionn Claydon on Unsplash
You can see here how focusing on the process, when you’re in the process, is what helps keep your attention on task.
Here are some additional observations:
You can have high expectations and high standards. It’s a matter of when and on what you set expectations.
You can expect to succeed at some point in the future (when). And, you can expect to exert your best efforts (on what) now, as you work toward that success.
“Shouldn’t I expect success?” Yes, but when to expect it is unknown. So don’t put a timestamp on it.
“I feel so much pressure when I’m expected to win.” This pressure is self imposed due to the timestamp we put on success.
How can you not put a timestamp on success when engaged in a specific event that’s bounded by a specific time? Success will happen today, during this competitive event, or not. It won’t happen in the future because this event will be over.
Here we come up against the dilemma for athletes, but also for the rest of us. Know what you can and can’t control. You can’t control when success will occur, but you can control your effort. So, the challenge for all of us, athlete and otherwise, is to acknowledge this and then deliberately focus on the process and the effort. This isn’t necessarily easy to do when you really want to succeed. But, you can shift your focus to really wanting to apply yourself to the effort. You can want to enjoy that struggle. Winning, then, will be a more meaningful experience for you because you’ve enjoy the struggle and the success.
June 20, 2022
Achievement Addiction
Machiavellian philosophy
Niccolò Machiavelli lived in Florence, Italy during the Renaissance, when Italy was experiencing a lot of chaos and war. He was a senior official in the Florentine Republic, with responsibilities in diplomatic and military affairs, giving advice to the King.
Machiavelli was also a philosopher. He studied the Greek philosopher Plato, who talked about striving for ideals in human behavior, like love, kindness, and goodness. Seeing Italy’s chaotic situation demonstrated to him that Plato’s ideal didn’t exist in the real world. Sure, it was fine to strive toward an ideal, but in the meantime, it was important to deal with humans as they really were: greedy, violent, and rotten. He wrote The Prince as an instruction book for the King to deal with the chaotic situation.
Machiavellian philosophy is considered negative because it encourages unscrupulous behavior. The philosophy boils down to: the end justifies the means. In other words, stopping the violence and achieving a peaceful state in Italy was justified by any means including lying, being devious, and even killing innocent people.
Justifying our behaviors
Before we think Machiavelli was a bad philosopher, we need to look at our own behaviors. We can be addicted to achievement, justifying any behaviors to achieve an end goal. We strive to achieve goals, get frustrated when we’re not achieving them quickly, and even experience “post-send” depression. Soon, we’re either immersed in frustration striving toward another goal, or depressed because we haven’t filled the void left by the achievement. When we exhibit these behaviors, we participate in a Machiavellian-type approach to climbing. We justify any means for achieving an end goal, become continually addicted to achievement, and are never truly satisfied.
Being addicted to achievement can make us feel lost. We wonder “What do I do now?” after we’ve achieved a goal. Instead of answering the question by setting another goal to achieve, we can answer it in a way that shifts our focus inward. The best answer to feeling lost, is finding ourselves, our true selves, so we don’t get lost again.
First, we identify what part of us is driving the Machiavellian-type behaviors. It’s the 1000-headed ego dragon. Achievement feeds the ego dragon, but it’s fleeting. It’s constantly hungry and therefore needs to be constantly fed to feel satisfied. Since we can’t achieve goals every day, the ego makes us live in a state of being constantly dissatisfied. Our friends may be amazed about what we’re able to accomplish and how courageous we are. In reality, we’re wearing a thin ego-mask of courage that covers up fear. We’re afraid of looking at our motivation because of what we might find. Instead of acting courageously, we’re actually fearful of not achieving.
Second, we shift from an ego-self to our real-self. This shift requires slaying the ego dragon. Doing this takes real courage. It requires facing our fears and digging deep into our own psychology in an honest way. It requires being warriors so we can summon the courage to go within, into the dark recesses of our own minds.
Self Worth
The ego creates inner self-talk that equates our worth with achievement and then chastises us when we aren’t achieving quickly enough. “I suck. I’m not strong enough, smart enough, worthy enough…I’m not enough.” This kind of ego self-talk needs to be cut off at the root.
We begin slaying the ego dragon by making self-worth a non-issue; self-worth isn’t dependent on achievement. We’re worthwhile right now. Next, we notice ego thoughts about self-worth and label them as such. Doing this exposes the ego from its hiding place, reveals its motivation, and prevents it from escaping. Finally, we slice off one of the ego dragon’s many heads by shifting our self-talk toward the learning process. We do this by being curious. “Why do I climb? Why did I fall? What do I need to learn here?” This kind of self-talk shifts toward a learning-based motivation that is intrinsic, one that originates within us from our real-self, a self interested in learning.
Love what climbing teaches us
We may still be addicted to climbing once we’ve found our real-self, but it’ll be because we love what climbing teaches us about ourselves. From that perspective it’s impossible to be frustrated or depressed. We’re happy because we’re learning; we’re happy because we achieve goals; we’re happy afterwards once we’ve achieved goals.
Instead of justifying striving, frustration, or depression as a necessary means to achieve an end, the means of the learning process becomes an end in itself. We don’t have to exhibit Machiavelli’s worst expression of human behavior. We can actually live Plato’s ideal, while enjoying our challenging life journeys.
Practice Tip: Learning Addiction
Be addicted to learning instead of achievement. Notice behaviors such as striving, frustration, and depression. Label them as originating from the ego dragon that engages in any behavior—any means—to justify achieving an end goal.
Shift your behavior to being curious. Instead of letting achieving a goal justify your worst behaviors, let your new behavior of curiosity become an end in itself. Ask yourself: “Why am I frustrated? Why did I fall? What do I need to learn?” These questions will shift your focus toward Plato’s ideal, instead of Machiavelli’s worst expression of human behavior.
Niccolò Machiavelli lived in Florence, Italy during the Renaissance, when Italy was experiencing a lot of chaos and war. He was a senior official in the Florentine Republic, with responsibilities in diplomatic and military affairs, giving advice to the King.
Machiavelli was also a philosopher. He studied the Greek philosopher Plato, who talked about striving for ideals in human behavior, like love, kindness, and goodness. Seeing Italy’s chaotic situation demonstrated to him that Plato’s ideal didn’t exist in the real world. Sure, it was fine to strive toward an ideal, but in the meantime, it was important to deal with humans as they really were: greedy, violent, and rotten. He wrote The Prince as an instruction book for the King to deal with the chaotic situation.
Machiavellian philosophy is considered negative because it encourages unscrupulous behavior. The philosophy boils down to: the end justifies the means. In other words, stopping the violence and achieving a peaceful state in Italy was justified by any means including lying, being devious, and even killing innocent people.
Justifying our behaviors
Before we think Machiavelli was a bad philosopher, we need to look at our own behaviors. We can be addicted to achievement, justifying any behaviors to achieve an end goal. We strive to achieve goals, get frustrated when we’re not achieving them quickly, and even experience “post-send” depression. Soon, we’re either immersed in frustration striving toward another goal, or depressed because we haven’t filled the void left by the achievement. When we exhibit these behaviors, we participate in a Machiavellian-type approach to climbing. We justify any means for achieving an end goal, become continually addicted to achievement, and are never truly satisfied.
Being addicted to achievement can make us feel lost. We wonder “What do I do now?” after we’ve achieved a goal. Instead of answering the question by setting another goal to achieve, we can answer it in a way that shifts our focus inward. The best answer to feeling lost, is finding ourselves, our true selves, so we don’t get lost again.
First, we identify what part of us is driving the Machiavellian-type behaviors. It’s the 1000-headed ego dragon. Achievement feeds the ego dragon, but it’s fleeting. It’s constantly hungry and therefore needs to be constantly fed to feel satisfied. Since we can’t achieve goals every day, the ego makes us live in a state of being constantly dissatisfied. Our friends may be amazed about what we’re able to accomplish and how courageous we are. In reality, we’re wearing a thin ego-mask of courage that covers up fear. We’re afraid of looking at our motivation because of what we might find. Instead of acting courageously, we’re actually fearful of not achieving.
Second, we shift from an ego-self to our real-self. This shift requires slaying the ego dragon. Doing this takes real courage. It requires facing our fears and digging deep into our own psychology in an honest way. It requires being warriors so we can summon the courage to go within, into the dark recesses of our own minds.
Self Worth
The ego creates inner self-talk that equates our worth with achievement and then chastises us when we aren’t achieving quickly enough. “I suck. I’m not strong enough, smart enough, worthy enough…I’m not enough.” This kind of ego self-talk needs to be cut off at the root.
We begin slaying the ego dragon by making self-worth a non-issue; self-worth isn’t dependent on achievement. We’re worthwhile right now. Next, we notice ego thoughts about self-worth and label them as such. Doing this exposes the ego from its hiding place, reveals its motivation, and prevents it from escaping. Finally, we slice off one of the ego dragon’s many heads by shifting our self-talk toward the learning process. We do this by being curious. “Why do I climb? Why did I fall? What do I need to learn here?” This kind of self-talk shifts toward a learning-based motivation that is intrinsic, one that originates within us from our real-self, a self interested in learning.
Love what climbing teaches us
We may still be addicted to climbing once we’ve found our real-self, but it’ll be because we love what climbing teaches us about ourselves. From that perspective it’s impossible to be frustrated or depressed. We’re happy because we’re learning; we’re happy because we achieve goals; we’re happy afterwards once we’ve achieved goals.
Instead of justifying striving, frustration, or depression as a necessary means to achieve an end, the means of the learning process becomes an end in itself. We don’t have to exhibit Machiavelli’s worst expression of human behavior. We can actually live Plato’s ideal, while enjoying our challenging life journeys.
Practice Tip: Learning Addiction
Be addicted to learning instead of achievement. Notice behaviors such as striving, frustration, and depression. Label them as originating from the ego dragon that engages in any behavior—any means—to justify achieving an end goal.
Shift your behavior to being curious. Instead of letting achieving a goal justify your worst behaviors, let your new behavior of curiosity become an end in itself. Ask yourself: “Why am I frustrated? Why did I fall? What do I need to learn?” These questions will shift your focus toward Plato’s ideal, instead of Machiavelli’s worst expression of human behavior.
June 13, 2022
Beware the Self- Squashing Prophecy
Are you afraid of what others think about you?
Do you feel like an imposter? Or, do you squash your authentic self by not sharing your talents with others? Trisha Lewis gives us insight into these questions in her TEDx talk Beware the Self- Squashing Prophecy.
I encourage you to watch this 14 minute youtube video. Here are a few points from it:
Trisha makes this distinction between imposter syndrome and self squashing.
Imposter syndrome: I’m going to be found out that I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Self squashing: I can do this, but I better not because others may think I’m showing off.
What is going on with self squashing: We FIB to ourselves to hold ourselves back.
Fear: We fear rejection.
Illusion: We create cognitive illusions that come from self-criticism about how much we’re liked by others, always biased toward the negative.
Baggage: We carry childhood experiences that habituate us toward not showing off, to squash the enthusiasm to express ourselves. We use our own inner chatter to continue the habituation.
Self-squashing prophecy:
I perceive others showing off; I don’t like them because of this.
I want people to like me.
So, I won’t even show up because they will see me as showing off.
How to unsquash yourself:
Reality check: you’re not showing off if you share your talents.
Go on an unsquashing journey by surrounding yourself with people who support you being yourself.
Ask and answer: “Why would I think they won’t like me?”
Unsquashing mantra: I’m not showing up to show off. I’m showing up to share.
Do you feel like an imposter? Or, do you squash your authentic self by not sharing your talents with others? Trisha Lewis gives us insight into these questions in her TEDx talk Beware the Self- Squashing Prophecy.
I encourage you to watch this 14 minute youtube video. Here are a few points from it:
Trisha makes this distinction between imposter syndrome and self squashing.
Imposter syndrome: I’m going to be found out that I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Self squashing: I can do this, but I better not because others may think I’m showing off.
What is going on with self squashing: We FIB to ourselves to hold ourselves back.
Fear: We fear rejection.
Illusion: We create cognitive illusions that come from self-criticism about how much we’re liked by others, always biased toward the negative.
Baggage: We carry childhood experiences that habituate us toward not showing off, to squash the enthusiasm to express ourselves. We use our own inner chatter to continue the habituation.
Self-squashing prophecy:
I perceive others showing off; I don’t like them because of this.
I want people to like me.
So, I won’t even show up because they will see me as showing off.
How to unsquash yourself:
Reality check: you’re not showing off if you share your talents.
Go on an unsquashing journey by surrounding yourself with people who support you being yourself.
Ask and answer: “Why would I think they won’t like me?”
Unsquashing mantra: I’m not showing up to show off. I’m showing up to share.
June 6, 2022
Rumors of War
Expectations
Benji Palmer recently succeeded in achieving his goal, Rumors of War, at the Obed climbing area in Tennessee. While coaching him, I noticed he lost mental focus by getting frustrated when his efforts fell short of his expectations. I needed to help him diminish his frustration so he could be more mentally powerful.
Being mentally powerful is likened to keeping a train on its tracks. In this metaphor, attention is the train and the climbing tasks are the tracks. If the train stays on its tracks, it makes progress towards the destination. Similarly, if our attention stays focused on the climbing tasks, then we make progress towards our goal. We get derailed when the mind distracts our attention from the task. Becoming aware of this tendency diminishes getting mentally derailed.
Habits, like getting frustrated, can be deeply rooted in the neural networks of the brain. It takes intentional practice to change them, which requires accepting outcomes, being curious, and doing work. These help us stay focused on the relevant experience so we’re present for it, learn what’s necessary, and enjoy it more.
Wanting Something for Nothing
We can begin by intellectually understanding that frustration isn’t helpful. Frustration is a behavior that demonstrates that we want something for nothing. We want to achieve a goal, without doing all the necessary work. Once we become aware of this “something for nothing” tendency, we realize how limiting it is. We acknowledge that our most meaningful experiences required a lot of work, more than we initially thought. We realize that we want something for something: giving effort for achieving a goal. Focusing on giving effort positions us for accepting outcomes as they are, remaining curious to possible solutions, and doing the necessary work.
It’s also helpful to observe how we feel when we’re in the experience. Frustration feels terrible; we feel like victims. Curiosity creates a different experience, one that’s more engaging, effective, and enjoyable.
Noticing and Redirecting
I gave Benji tangible tools to work through his frustration. These consisted of noticing when he got frustrated, stopping that behavior, and accepting the outcome. Next, he focused on being curious by asking himself “What contributed to the fall?” Finally, he applied his attention to the climbing tasks when he climbed.
Benji fell at the pumpy second crux of Rumors, got frustrated, and immediately said “I’m okay,” which meant he noticed he’d gotten frustrated. This helped him accept the outcome and remain curious. He asked himself: “Why did I fall?” This inquiry process led him to realize he had let go of the rock because he didn’t think he could continue climbing. This realization changed how he approached his next redpoint effort: he would continue climbing, even if he didn’t think he could. He would continue to focus on moving forward.
He didn’t feel very pumped climbing through the second crux on his successful redpoint. Actually, he felt confident. He felt so confident that his mind created the thought “I’ll probably succeed.” He still had a lot of pumpy climbing to do and could fail if he allowed his attention to focus on success. He noticed the “success” thoughts, consciously let go of them, and brought his attention back to the task of moving forward. Thoughts of success continued to derail his attention as he climbed. He observed this, redirected his attention, and climbed to the top.
Is It Over?
Afterwards, Benji expressed sadness that Rumors was over and wished the experience had lasted longer. “It was like coming off of a high; I wanted to still be in that experience” he said. He wondered whether or not he should get on Rumors again to extend the high feeling of the experience. But then he realized that doing it again wouldn't put him back into the previous experience; it would be different. Climbing it again, after knowing he already succeeded, would be a totally different experience.
Experiences exist within periods of limited time. We can’t go back and have the same experience again. Instead of climbing with frustration because we aren’t meeting our expectations, we relish the experience when we’re in it. Just like we don’t get a second chance to make a first impression, we also don’t get a second chance to have a unique experience. The experience we have before we succeed is unique. There’s some level of doubt about achieving our goal, before we achieve it. Therefore, it’s important to relish doubt as part of the experience.
Benji had been to Rumors about six times total. He said that when he succeeded it was more of a mental challenge than physical one. He hadn’t improved his physical strength. What had changed was his ability to keep frustration from derailing him, which maintained his mental power. He was able to keep his train on its tracks and let it flow to the destination.
Practice Tip: Don’t get Derailed
Frustration is a sign that you want something for nothing. Don’t behave that way. All achievements require work. Rather, you want something for something: achievement for work.
Catch yourself whenever you get frustrated. Then, accept the outcome and stop the frustration. Take a breath, and ask yourself: “What contributed to the fall?” Asking this question shifts your attention toward being curious, which will keep you from becoming derailed and help you find an answer.
Benji Palmer recently succeeded in achieving his goal, Rumors of War, at the Obed climbing area in Tennessee. While coaching him, I noticed he lost mental focus by getting frustrated when his efforts fell short of his expectations. I needed to help him diminish his frustration so he could be more mentally powerful.
Being mentally powerful is likened to keeping a train on its tracks. In this metaphor, attention is the train and the climbing tasks are the tracks. If the train stays on its tracks, it makes progress towards the destination. Similarly, if our attention stays focused on the climbing tasks, then we make progress towards our goal. We get derailed when the mind distracts our attention from the task. Becoming aware of this tendency diminishes getting mentally derailed.
Habits, like getting frustrated, can be deeply rooted in the neural networks of the brain. It takes intentional practice to change them, which requires accepting outcomes, being curious, and doing work. These help us stay focused on the relevant experience so we’re present for it, learn what’s necessary, and enjoy it more.
Wanting Something for Nothing
We can begin by intellectually understanding that frustration isn’t helpful. Frustration is a behavior that demonstrates that we want something for nothing. We want to achieve a goal, without doing all the necessary work. Once we become aware of this “something for nothing” tendency, we realize how limiting it is. We acknowledge that our most meaningful experiences required a lot of work, more than we initially thought. We realize that we want something for something: giving effort for achieving a goal. Focusing on giving effort positions us for accepting outcomes as they are, remaining curious to possible solutions, and doing the necessary work.
It’s also helpful to observe how we feel when we’re in the experience. Frustration feels terrible; we feel like victims. Curiosity creates a different experience, one that’s more engaging, effective, and enjoyable.
Noticing and Redirecting
I gave Benji tangible tools to work through his frustration. These consisted of noticing when he got frustrated, stopping that behavior, and accepting the outcome. Next, he focused on being curious by asking himself “What contributed to the fall?” Finally, he applied his attention to the climbing tasks when he climbed.
Benji fell at the pumpy second crux of Rumors, got frustrated, and immediately said “I’m okay,” which meant he noticed he’d gotten frustrated. This helped him accept the outcome and remain curious. He asked himself: “Why did I fall?” This inquiry process led him to realize he had let go of the rock because he didn’t think he could continue climbing. This realization changed how he approached his next redpoint effort: he would continue climbing, even if he didn’t think he could. He would continue to focus on moving forward.
He didn’t feel very pumped climbing through the second crux on his successful redpoint. Actually, he felt confident. He felt so confident that his mind created the thought “I’ll probably succeed.” He still had a lot of pumpy climbing to do and could fail if he allowed his attention to focus on success. He noticed the “success” thoughts, consciously let go of them, and brought his attention back to the task of moving forward. Thoughts of success continued to derail his attention as he climbed. He observed this, redirected his attention, and climbed to the top.
Is It Over?
Afterwards, Benji expressed sadness that Rumors was over and wished the experience had lasted longer. “It was like coming off of a high; I wanted to still be in that experience” he said. He wondered whether or not he should get on Rumors again to extend the high feeling of the experience. But then he realized that doing it again wouldn't put him back into the previous experience; it would be different. Climbing it again, after knowing he already succeeded, would be a totally different experience.
Experiences exist within periods of limited time. We can’t go back and have the same experience again. Instead of climbing with frustration because we aren’t meeting our expectations, we relish the experience when we’re in it. Just like we don’t get a second chance to make a first impression, we also don’t get a second chance to have a unique experience. The experience we have before we succeed is unique. There’s some level of doubt about achieving our goal, before we achieve it. Therefore, it’s important to relish doubt as part of the experience.
Benji had been to Rumors about six times total. He said that when he succeeded it was more of a mental challenge than physical one. He hadn’t improved his physical strength. What had changed was his ability to keep frustration from derailing him, which maintained his mental power. He was able to keep his train on its tracks and let it flow to the destination.
Practice Tip: Don’t get Derailed
Frustration is a sign that you want something for nothing. Don’t behave that way. All achievements require work. Rather, you want something for something: achievement for work.
Catch yourself whenever you get frustrated. Then, accept the outcome and stop the frustration. Take a breath, and ask yourself: “What contributed to the fall?” Asking this question shifts your attention toward being curious, which will keep you from becoming derailed and help you find an answer.
May 23, 2022
Dethroning the Ego - Part 3 - Entitlement
Expectations & Achievement
How many times have we failed on routes we expected to succeed on and then made excuses to justify why we failed? Perhaps it was a grade we’ve succeeded on many times. We felt entitled to succeed; so failing felt unfair.
The ego wants to succeed to support its sense of self-importance. It feels important when it achieves. Conversely, its importance is threatened when it doesn’t achieve. The ego will do whatever it can to protect its self-importance.
If we’re able to climb 5.11, then the ego feels entitled to continue to achieve 5.11s. If we fall on a 5.11, the ego will justify its failure by making excuses. Excuses such as: “I would have climbed it, but my foot slipped.” “I would have succeeded, but the belayer short-roped me.” “I could have climbed it, but I was too pumped to continue.”
Excuses, Excuses
These statements could all be true: our foot slipped, the belayer short-roped us, we were too pumped. However, excuses protect the ego and shift our attention to what the ego prefers the situation to be, instead of what it actually is. Instead of protecting the ego with excuses, we must dethrone it.
The ego’s excuses interfere with the learning process and how we use our attention. They cover the relevant information needed for learning, like a veil hiding a jewel. Thus, the ego protects itself by focusing our attention on the veil instead of the jewel. It feels entitled to the jewel—the learning—while resisting the work necessary to earn it.
Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash
To move beyond the ego’s sense of entitlement, we change our expectations.
Don’t expect to succeed; expect to exert effort. Exerting effort helps us remove the veil so we can do work to earn the jewel. We remove excuses to reveal the learning opportunity. We do this in three steps:
Observe the mind distracting our attention
Identify why we fell
Do things differently next time we climb
First, we observe the mind. We realize the ego focuses on achievement, distracting our attention toward what it prefers the situation to be, instead of seeing the situation as it is. Therefore, we observe ourselves making excuses about why we fell and stop that behavior.
Second, there were reasons why we fell. What were they? What thoughts were in the mind when we fell? We need to be objective so we can see the situation as it is. We describe what occurred to identify specific information that caused the fall. Perhaps a foot slipped, the belayer short-roped us, or we had a thought that we were too pumped to continue climbing, as we outlined earlier.
Third, we incorporate the new information into our strategy for the next effort. We focus our attention on modifying our plan to test the new information we discovered. If our foot slipped, then we place our foot more precisely. If the belayer short-roped us, then we instruct the belayer how to feed slack appropriately. If the mind has thoughts about being too pumped, then we ignore them and continue climbing (in yes-fall zones). These three steps help us become aware of the ego’s desire to protect itself with excuses, collect accurate information about improving our performance, and test that information.
Fairness
There’s no need to dwell on routes being unfair, which feed the ego’s sense of entitlement. If we feel the need to discuss “fairness” of a route’s grade, then we do it simply to learn how to develop our strategy for climbing.
We take control of the situation by dethroning the ego’s sense of entitlement. We reveal the jewel—the learning opportunity—by removing the ego’s veil of excuses. We do this by changing our expectations. Instead of expecting to do a climb; we expect to exert effort.
Practice Tip: Expect to Exert Effort
There’s a reason why you fall. What is it? Find the reason using this three step process.
Notice if you made an excuse about why you fell and stop making excuses.
Describe objectively what occurred during the moment you fell.
Change your strategy to include the new information you discovered.
Don’t expect to succeed; expect to exert effort.
How many times have we failed on routes we expected to succeed on and then made excuses to justify why we failed? Perhaps it was a grade we’ve succeeded on many times. We felt entitled to succeed; so failing felt unfair.
The ego wants to succeed to support its sense of self-importance. It feels important when it achieves. Conversely, its importance is threatened when it doesn’t achieve. The ego will do whatever it can to protect its self-importance.
If we’re able to climb 5.11, then the ego feels entitled to continue to achieve 5.11s. If we fall on a 5.11, the ego will justify its failure by making excuses. Excuses such as: “I would have climbed it, but my foot slipped.” “I would have succeeded, but the belayer short-roped me.” “I could have climbed it, but I was too pumped to continue.”
Excuses, Excuses
These statements could all be true: our foot slipped, the belayer short-roped us, we were too pumped. However, excuses protect the ego and shift our attention to what the ego prefers the situation to be, instead of what it actually is. Instead of protecting the ego with excuses, we must dethrone it.
The ego’s excuses interfere with the learning process and how we use our attention. They cover the relevant information needed for learning, like a veil hiding a jewel. Thus, the ego protects itself by focusing our attention on the veil instead of the jewel. It feels entitled to the jewel—the learning—while resisting the work necessary to earn it.
Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash
To move beyond the ego’s sense of entitlement, we change our expectations.
Don’t expect to succeed; expect to exert effort. Exerting effort helps us remove the veil so we can do work to earn the jewel. We remove excuses to reveal the learning opportunity. We do this in three steps:
Observe the mind distracting our attention
Identify why we fell
Do things differently next time we climb
First, we observe the mind. We realize the ego focuses on achievement, distracting our attention toward what it prefers the situation to be, instead of seeing the situation as it is. Therefore, we observe ourselves making excuses about why we fell and stop that behavior.
Second, there were reasons why we fell. What were they? What thoughts were in the mind when we fell? We need to be objective so we can see the situation as it is. We describe what occurred to identify specific information that caused the fall. Perhaps a foot slipped, the belayer short-roped us, or we had a thought that we were too pumped to continue climbing, as we outlined earlier.
Third, we incorporate the new information into our strategy for the next effort. We focus our attention on modifying our plan to test the new information we discovered. If our foot slipped, then we place our foot more precisely. If the belayer short-roped us, then we instruct the belayer how to feed slack appropriately. If the mind has thoughts about being too pumped, then we ignore them and continue climbing (in yes-fall zones). These three steps help us become aware of the ego’s desire to protect itself with excuses, collect accurate information about improving our performance, and test that information.
Fairness
There’s no need to dwell on routes being unfair, which feed the ego’s sense of entitlement. If we feel the need to discuss “fairness” of a route’s grade, then we do it simply to learn how to develop our strategy for climbing.
We take control of the situation by dethroning the ego’s sense of entitlement. We reveal the jewel—the learning opportunity—by removing the ego’s veil of excuses. We do this by changing our expectations. Instead of expecting to do a climb; we expect to exert effort.
Practice Tip: Expect to Exert Effort
There’s a reason why you fall. What is it? Find the reason using this three step process.
Notice if you made an excuse about why you fell and stop making excuses.
Describe objectively what occurred during the moment you fell.
Change your strategy to include the new information you discovered.
Don’t expect to succeed; expect to exert effort.
May 16, 2022
What Does it Take to Get Great at Something?
One of our trainers said this TED Talk, Want to get great at something? Get a coach, by Atul Gawande, really impacted him about the importance of seeking a coach for himself. I agree.
To become great at something can’t be done solo. We need others in the form of mentors, teachers, and coaches.
Gawande asks how we improve in the face of a complex world.
He shares what he's found to be the key: having a good coach to provide a more accurate picture of our reality, to instill positive habits of thinking, and to break our actions down and then help us build them back up again.
"It's not how good you are now; it's how good you're going to be that really matters,"
Gawande says. Getting better is about improving on how we do things today.
Gawande says there are two views:
Pedagogical view: Go to school, study, practice, learn, and graduate. Then you go out into the world and make your way on your own. Professionals are people who are able to manage their own improvement. You learn ways of thinking and learning so you can make your own way in the world.
Sports view: You are never done. Everyone needs a coach; someone you pay to observe and critique you.
Photo by Jose Ruales
There are numerous problems with the pedagogical view. Mainly, you get blindsided. You don’t recognize the issues standing in your way. Or, if you do, you don’t know how to fix them. Mental training wise, this is a big trap. Unless you get help training your mind, you’ll believe what it tells you. You’ll be caught in a confirmation bias that goes unnoticed.
The sports view offers you a whole new level of awareness. Coaches share different perspectives that remove your blinders. They help you communicate better, to balance speaking up with active listening, a critical skill for building connections and relationships. Coaches are your external eyes and ears that give you a more accurate view of reality.
The Warrior’s Way seeks to fill this capacity for you.
We provide an alternative view that helps you notice what’s going on in your mind so you can become aware. Then, from that awareness, you can take decisive action in new directions, to create supportive new behaviors.
To become great at something can’t be done solo. We need others in the form of mentors, teachers, and coaches.
Gawande asks how we improve in the face of a complex world.
He shares what he's found to be the key: having a good coach to provide a more accurate picture of our reality, to instill positive habits of thinking, and to break our actions down and then help us build them back up again.
"It's not how good you are now; it's how good you're going to be that really matters,"
Gawande says. Getting better is about improving on how we do things today.
Gawande says there are two views:
Pedagogical view: Go to school, study, practice, learn, and graduate. Then you go out into the world and make your way on your own. Professionals are people who are able to manage their own improvement. You learn ways of thinking and learning so you can make your own way in the world.
Sports view: You are never done. Everyone needs a coach; someone you pay to observe and critique you.
Photo by Jose Ruales
There are numerous problems with the pedagogical view. Mainly, you get blindsided. You don’t recognize the issues standing in your way. Or, if you do, you don’t know how to fix them. Mental training wise, this is a big trap. Unless you get help training your mind, you’ll believe what it tells you. You’ll be caught in a confirmation bias that goes unnoticed.
The sports view offers you a whole new level of awareness. Coaches share different perspectives that remove your blinders. They help you communicate better, to balance speaking up with active listening, a critical skill for building connections and relationships. Coaches are your external eyes and ears that give you a more accurate view of reality.
The Warrior’s Way seeks to fill this capacity for you.
We provide an alternative view that helps you notice what’s going on in your mind so you can become aware. Then, from that awareness, you can take decisive action in new directions, to create supportive new behaviors.
