Arno Ilgner's Blog, page 4
May 9, 2022
Dethroning The Ego - Part 2 - Decision-Making
Return to Birdland
Bob Johnson climbs regularly at the Shawangunks (Gunks), a traditional climbing area in New York. He progressed through the easier grades, succeeding on 5.3s, 5.4s, 5.5s, 5.6s, 5.7s, and improved rapidly. Then, Bob decided to climb 5.8s, which required more mental and physical strength. He’d already been challenged somewhat on 5.7s. Thinking about climbing 5.8s caused his stomach to be in knots and his mind to feel anxious. He wanted the routes to be finished and to be standing on top of them.
He climbed several 5.8s in this stressed state, found them challenging, but did well. Then he chose Birdland, considered one of the harder 5.8s. When he arrived, another climbing team was on it. So he decided to climb a nearby 5.7 instead. After finishing the 5.7, he decided not to return to Birdland, even though no one was on it, and instead climbed more 5.7s.
Bob decided to return to Birdland on his next visit. He started climbing and encountered difficulty quickly. He identified the next rest stance, about ten feet above. Climbing to the stance looked difficult so he looked for an easier alternative. He saw larger holds going to the right, so he followed them, but they led him to a dead-end. He climbed back left and positioned himself below the difficult climbing. He wanted to back off.
Bob made decisions about which routes to climb based on difficulty. When he considered climbing 5.3s he’d ask: “Can I do it or not?” Since 5.3s are very easy, even for beginners, he answered “yes.” So he climbed 5.3 routes. He then applied the same decision-making process to 5.4s, 5.5s, 5.6s and 5.7s. When the difficulty increased to 5.8, he couldn’t answer “yes” to this question anymore.
Asking “Can I do it or not?” focuses on the end goal and the ego’s desire to achieve it. This motivates the mind toward future achievement, seeking the comfort we’ll experience when the goal is achieved.
Achievement Motivation
Achieving harder grades, of course, requires work. The ego’s desire for achievement causes us to be caught in a motivation trap, torn between the desire to achieve and the resistance to do the work. We end up not being able to satisfy either motivation, which leaves the body in knots and the mind feeling anxious.
We resign ourselves to climbing routes within our comfort zones when we’re caught in this motivation trap. Or, we climb challenging routes while seeking escape from doing the required work. This is what initially happened to Bob. He avoided Birdland, climbing 5.7s instead. When he finally did get on Birdland, he sought to escape the stress by following a line of bigger holds to the right, which led him to a dead-end.
Asking “Can I do it or not?” is not the correct question to ask when facing something challenging. If the route is challenging, it’ll be outside our comfort zones. So, obviously, we can’t answer “yes” to this question. We only know we can do a route that’s within the realm of what we’ve experienced, our comfort zones. This question sets us up for all-or-nothing thinking. If we decide we can’t do it “all” we do “nothing.”
It’s important to increment slowly to develop skills.
Starting with easier grades diminishes the possibility of falling, reduces stress, and allows us to learn basic skills in a more comfortable situation. The easier grades at the Gunks are no-fall zones. They’re slabby and have ledge obstacles. But as the difficulty increases, so does the steepness of the routes, diminishing obstacles.
The flaw most climbers make is continuing to push themselves into harder grades without gaining falling experience. It’s important to be in yes-fall zones when pushing ourselves. Getting familiar with falling helps us respond to falls that will ultimately occur.
The Warrior’s Way® defines yes-fall zones as zones that have falls similar to what we’ve experienced. Therefore, all routes are no-fall zones if we have no falling experience. Thus, as we push ourselves into more challenging climbing, with no falling experience, we’re climbing in no-fall zones, at our limit, and taking inappropriate risks.
Bob knew he needed to gain falling experience to diminish his anxiety climbing 5.8s so he signed up for a Warrior’s Way Trad Camp at New River Gorge. He learned how to fall and developed confidence that he could trust his trad gear. He also learned the importance of shifting his motivation to finding little ways to engage challenges.
Decisions about which routes to climb need to be made differently once basic skills and falling are learned. We ask, “What’s the fall consequence?” not “Can I do it or not?” Asking “What’s the fall consequence?” is a question we can answer if we have falling experience.
Instead of allowing the mind to think in all-or-nothing ways, we focus on engaging in little steps. It’s easier to take a little step, which focuses our attention on doing the work. We escape the motivation trap by shifting what we focus on.
Motivation Trap
Let’s return to Bob on Birdland. He was positioned below the difficult climbing and had a choice to make. He didn’t want to back off so he forced himself to continue. He asked himself "What else can I do here?" He quickly identified some higher foot-holds and used them along with some smaller hand-holds and easily propelled himself to the next stance. Then he continued climbing. Whenever he felt the urge to back off, he kept asking himself "What can I do here?" Before he knew it, he had done all he needed to do, and was at the top of the pitch.
We escape the motivation trap by getting falling experience and making decisions based on falling consequences. Without the body in knots and the mind feeling anxious, we relax into doing the work. We understand that being in stress, working through it, is why we came to the challenge in the first place. It’s through doing the work that we grow as climbers.
We don’t have to be victims of the ego’s motivation trap. Rather, we can focus our attention on making little steps into stress, relaxing into it, and enjoying the whole process. We can ask, “What can I do here?” as Bob did. Making this shift changes how we approach challenges. With practice, we don’t have to force ourselves to engage; we engage intentionally, focusing our attention on little actions that move us through the challenge. We aren’t motivated solely by achievement, expecting to fail; we’re primarily motivated by enjoying the challenge, expecting to fall. Falling and work become important parts of our climbing journeys.
Practice Tip: Change how you make decisions
You tend to make decisions about which routes to climb based on difficulty. You’re essentially asking: “Can I climb it without falling?” But, if you want to climb challenging routes, you’ll fall. Therefore, prepare yourself to fall.
First, gain some falling experience. You need to know how to fall. This is not a trivial point. Falling is dangerous. It’s a skill and you need to learn exactly how to do it. This is what The Warrior’s Way® workshops teach.
Second, assess the falling consequences to determine which routes to climb. The harder grades are generally better protected and steeper, creating less obstacles than easier grades. Climbing harder grades will increase the possibility of falling, but that’s okay. You expect to fall.
Bob Johnson climbs regularly at the Shawangunks (Gunks), a traditional climbing area in New York. He progressed through the easier grades, succeeding on 5.3s, 5.4s, 5.5s, 5.6s, 5.7s, and improved rapidly. Then, Bob decided to climb 5.8s, which required more mental and physical strength. He’d already been challenged somewhat on 5.7s. Thinking about climbing 5.8s caused his stomach to be in knots and his mind to feel anxious. He wanted the routes to be finished and to be standing on top of them.
He climbed several 5.8s in this stressed state, found them challenging, but did well. Then he chose Birdland, considered one of the harder 5.8s. When he arrived, another climbing team was on it. So he decided to climb a nearby 5.7 instead. After finishing the 5.7, he decided not to return to Birdland, even though no one was on it, and instead climbed more 5.7s.
Bob decided to return to Birdland on his next visit. He started climbing and encountered difficulty quickly. He identified the next rest stance, about ten feet above. Climbing to the stance looked difficult so he looked for an easier alternative. He saw larger holds going to the right, so he followed them, but they led him to a dead-end. He climbed back left and positioned himself below the difficult climbing. He wanted to back off.
Bob made decisions about which routes to climb based on difficulty. When he considered climbing 5.3s he’d ask: “Can I do it or not?” Since 5.3s are very easy, even for beginners, he answered “yes.” So he climbed 5.3 routes. He then applied the same decision-making process to 5.4s, 5.5s, 5.6s and 5.7s. When the difficulty increased to 5.8, he couldn’t answer “yes” to this question anymore.
Asking “Can I do it or not?” focuses on the end goal and the ego’s desire to achieve it. This motivates the mind toward future achievement, seeking the comfort we’ll experience when the goal is achieved.
Achievement Motivation
Achieving harder grades, of course, requires work. The ego’s desire for achievement causes us to be caught in a motivation trap, torn between the desire to achieve and the resistance to do the work. We end up not being able to satisfy either motivation, which leaves the body in knots and the mind feeling anxious.
We resign ourselves to climbing routes within our comfort zones when we’re caught in this motivation trap. Or, we climb challenging routes while seeking escape from doing the required work. This is what initially happened to Bob. He avoided Birdland, climbing 5.7s instead. When he finally did get on Birdland, he sought to escape the stress by following a line of bigger holds to the right, which led him to a dead-end.
Asking “Can I do it or not?” is not the correct question to ask when facing something challenging. If the route is challenging, it’ll be outside our comfort zones. So, obviously, we can’t answer “yes” to this question. We only know we can do a route that’s within the realm of what we’ve experienced, our comfort zones. This question sets us up for all-or-nothing thinking. If we decide we can’t do it “all” we do “nothing.”
It’s important to increment slowly to develop skills.
Starting with easier grades diminishes the possibility of falling, reduces stress, and allows us to learn basic skills in a more comfortable situation. The easier grades at the Gunks are no-fall zones. They’re slabby and have ledge obstacles. But as the difficulty increases, so does the steepness of the routes, diminishing obstacles.
The flaw most climbers make is continuing to push themselves into harder grades without gaining falling experience. It’s important to be in yes-fall zones when pushing ourselves. Getting familiar with falling helps us respond to falls that will ultimately occur.
The Warrior’s Way® defines yes-fall zones as zones that have falls similar to what we’ve experienced. Therefore, all routes are no-fall zones if we have no falling experience. Thus, as we push ourselves into more challenging climbing, with no falling experience, we’re climbing in no-fall zones, at our limit, and taking inappropriate risks.
Bob knew he needed to gain falling experience to diminish his anxiety climbing 5.8s so he signed up for a Warrior’s Way Trad Camp at New River Gorge. He learned how to fall and developed confidence that he could trust his trad gear. He also learned the importance of shifting his motivation to finding little ways to engage challenges.
Decisions about which routes to climb need to be made differently once basic skills and falling are learned. We ask, “What’s the fall consequence?” not “Can I do it or not?” Asking “What’s the fall consequence?” is a question we can answer if we have falling experience.
Instead of allowing the mind to think in all-or-nothing ways, we focus on engaging in little steps. It’s easier to take a little step, which focuses our attention on doing the work. We escape the motivation trap by shifting what we focus on.
Motivation Trap
Let’s return to Bob on Birdland. He was positioned below the difficult climbing and had a choice to make. He didn’t want to back off so he forced himself to continue. He asked himself "What else can I do here?" He quickly identified some higher foot-holds and used them along with some smaller hand-holds and easily propelled himself to the next stance. Then he continued climbing. Whenever he felt the urge to back off, he kept asking himself "What can I do here?" Before he knew it, he had done all he needed to do, and was at the top of the pitch.
We escape the motivation trap by getting falling experience and making decisions based on falling consequences. Without the body in knots and the mind feeling anxious, we relax into doing the work. We understand that being in stress, working through it, is why we came to the challenge in the first place. It’s through doing the work that we grow as climbers.
We don’t have to be victims of the ego’s motivation trap. Rather, we can focus our attention on making little steps into stress, relaxing into it, and enjoying the whole process. We can ask, “What can I do here?” as Bob did. Making this shift changes how we approach challenges. With practice, we don’t have to force ourselves to engage; we engage intentionally, focusing our attention on little actions that move us through the challenge. We aren’t motivated solely by achievement, expecting to fail; we’re primarily motivated by enjoying the challenge, expecting to fall. Falling and work become important parts of our climbing journeys.
Practice Tip: Change how you make decisions
You tend to make decisions about which routes to climb based on difficulty. You’re essentially asking: “Can I climb it without falling?” But, if you want to climb challenging routes, you’ll fall. Therefore, prepare yourself to fall.
First, gain some falling experience. You need to know how to fall. This is not a trivial point. Falling is dangerous. It’s a skill and you need to learn exactly how to do it. This is what The Warrior’s Way® workshops teach.
Second, assess the falling consequences to determine which routes to climb. The harder grades are generally better protected and steeper, creating less obstacles than easier grades. Climbing harder grades will increase the possibility of falling, but that’s okay. You expect to fall.
May 2, 2022
How Can You Remember the Future?
Here’s a mind twister to challenge your thinking.
“The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly the one you’ll never have.”
–Søren Kierkegaard
How do you make sense of this quote? How is it painful “remembering the future?” Is that even possible? It seems like since the future hasn't happened yet that you can’t remember it. And what does he mean by the future “you’ll never have” as being the most painful?
The way I interpret this is that we allow our imagination to create a future that rarely manifests itself. We use our past experiences for evaluating how our future will be. If that past is painful, then we’ll use it to imagine a painful future.
But we don’t just have the past to create our future. We also have the present. We can focus our attention on our current situation to gather objective information. Then we can use that information and our past experiences to take action to manifest the future we want.
“The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly the one you’ll never have.”
–Søren Kierkegaard
How do you make sense of this quote? How is it painful “remembering the future?” Is that even possible? It seems like since the future hasn't happened yet that you can’t remember it. And what does he mean by the future “you’ll never have” as being the most painful?
The way I interpret this is that we allow our imagination to create a future that rarely manifests itself. We use our past experiences for evaluating how our future will be. If that past is painful, then we’ll use it to imagine a painful future.
But we don’t just have the past to create our future. We also have the present. We can focus our attention on our current situation to gather objective information. Then we can use that information and our past experiences to take action to manifest the future we want.
April 25, 2022
Dethroning The Ego - Part 1
Goal Achievement & The Ego
Imagine two warriors in a fight to the death. Their goal is to win and survive. If they focus on winning and surviving, outcomes that occur in the future, they’re likely to die. However, if they focus on fighting well, a process that occurs in the present moment, they’re likely to survive and achieve their goal. Goal achievement, therefore, is an indirect process.
The ego over-values goal achievement and is never satisfied. The warriors’ task is to notice when the ego distracts their attention, stop the distraction, and redirect their attention to the task.
Understanding what we mean by “the ego” can be confusing. The Warrior’s Way® defines the ego as the identity we create about ourselves, based on our self-importance and our personal history.
The ego measures self-importance by what we’ve been able to achieve, our history. Thus, a history of achievements becomes very important to the ego. It builds its throne to stand upon so it can compare itself to others, looking down on what others have achieved. Or, it builds its throne with justifications about why it hasn’t been able to achieve goals.
Self-importance and personal history may seem benign, but they’re not.
To understand why, we look at their effect on attention. Being mentally powerful means we’re able to focus our attention in the moment on whatever task we’re doing. Therefore, anything that distracts our attention from the moment diminishes our mental power.
Achieving goals requires work. That work is done in the present moment. By overvaluing achievement, the ego shifts our attention into the future on what we can’t control.
Let’s say I’m climbing a challenging route, which means I’m doing work. Being in a stressful situation means I might fall, and therefore fail. My ego’s desire for success shifts my attention into the future, worrying about what others will think if I fail.
The ego’s self importance and achievements are external representations of who we are. How important are we in relation to others? Externally we all have different talents, skills, and achievements. If we focus on being more/less important than others and external aspects of us, then our attention is focused on supporting the ego’s desire for self-importance. Therefore, to dethrone the ego, we shift from external to internal representations.
Looked at from an internal perspective, we’re all human beings with equal desires to live meaningful lives. Instead of focusing on upholding an external identity, we focus on giving what is within us. Giving effort helps us do the work of fighting well. Achievements that occur in the future become less important than the effort we exert now.
Warriors in a fight to the death, achieve their goal of surviving indirectly. By dethroning the ego’s need to achieve, they’re able to focus their attention on doing the work of fighting well. They don’t need to feel more important than their opponent; they simply need to fight as well as they can.
Practice Tip: Defenselessness
Your ego gets defensive when others criticize you, because its identity is threatened. The ego has to defend its identity and it does this by lashing out at others. Doing this strengthens the ego.
Instead of reacting by defending yourself, practice defenselessness. Listen to criticism to determine if there is anything you can learn. By doing this you shift your attention from defending your ego identity toward learning…fighting well.
Imagine two warriors in a fight to the death. Their goal is to win and survive. If they focus on winning and surviving, outcomes that occur in the future, they’re likely to die. However, if they focus on fighting well, a process that occurs in the present moment, they’re likely to survive and achieve their goal. Goal achievement, therefore, is an indirect process.
The ego over-values goal achievement and is never satisfied. The warriors’ task is to notice when the ego distracts their attention, stop the distraction, and redirect their attention to the task.
Understanding what we mean by “the ego” can be confusing. The Warrior’s Way® defines the ego as the identity we create about ourselves, based on our self-importance and our personal history.
The ego measures self-importance by what we’ve been able to achieve, our history. Thus, a history of achievements becomes very important to the ego. It builds its throne to stand upon so it can compare itself to others, looking down on what others have achieved. Or, it builds its throne with justifications about why it hasn’t been able to achieve goals.
Self-importance and personal history may seem benign, but they’re not.
To understand why, we look at their effect on attention. Being mentally powerful means we’re able to focus our attention in the moment on whatever task we’re doing. Therefore, anything that distracts our attention from the moment diminishes our mental power.
Achieving goals requires work. That work is done in the present moment. By overvaluing achievement, the ego shifts our attention into the future on what we can’t control.
Let’s say I’m climbing a challenging route, which means I’m doing work. Being in a stressful situation means I might fall, and therefore fail. My ego’s desire for success shifts my attention into the future, worrying about what others will think if I fail.
The ego’s self importance and achievements are external representations of who we are. How important are we in relation to others? Externally we all have different talents, skills, and achievements. If we focus on being more/less important than others and external aspects of us, then our attention is focused on supporting the ego’s desire for self-importance. Therefore, to dethrone the ego, we shift from external to internal representations.
Looked at from an internal perspective, we’re all human beings with equal desires to live meaningful lives. Instead of focusing on upholding an external identity, we focus on giving what is within us. Giving effort helps us do the work of fighting well. Achievements that occur in the future become less important than the effort we exert now.
Warriors in a fight to the death, achieve their goal of surviving indirectly. By dethroning the ego’s need to achieve, they’re able to focus their attention on doing the work of fighting well. They don’t need to feel more important than their opponent; they simply need to fight as well as they can.
Practice Tip: Defenselessness
Your ego gets defensive when others criticize you, because its identity is threatened. The ego has to defend its identity and it does this by lashing out at others. Doing this strengthens the ego.
Instead of reacting by defending yourself, practice defenselessness. Listen to criticism to determine if there is anything you can learn. By doing this you shift your attention from defending your ego identity toward learning…fighting well.
April 18, 2022
Is Acceptance a Limiting Way of Approaching Mental Training?
Here’s a quote that can raise your ire when doing mental training.
“In so far as one denies what is, one is possessed by what is not, the compulsions, the fantasies, the terrors that flock to fill the void.” –Ursula K. Le Guin
Is acceptance essential for mental training or a copout?
I think one of the most misunderstood aspects of mental training is that it’s essential to accept situations as they are. Many people interpret this acceptance as resignation, or giving up on improving your circumstances. This is a misunderstanding.
Acceptance is not only important for taking risks, it’s absolutely necessary for taking them effectively. If you deny what is, as Le Guin states, you’re living in a fantasy world, full of imaginations (terrors) that fill your awareness. You need to see reality clearly. Acceptance is the way to do this. To accept things exactly as they are gives you the clarity to see reality. How could it not do that? From that clarity, you can then take effective actions. Prior to that acceptance, you’re resisting, complaining, or fighting against how life is. That is a losing proposition. The reality of life will win that fight.
To put acceptance in perspective, note that it’s part of preparation.
Accepting situations as they are helps you prepare your plan for action. This creates a plan that is as accurate as possible, for a starting point for action. Then, when you take action, you’ll apply your plan and modify it as needed.
You can both accept situations as they are and take actions to move those situations forward toward goals you set for yourself. This week, discern acceptance carefully.
“In so far as one denies what is, one is possessed by what is not, the compulsions, the fantasies, the terrors that flock to fill the void.” –Ursula K. Le Guin
Is acceptance essential for mental training or a copout?
I think one of the most misunderstood aspects of mental training is that it’s essential to accept situations as they are. Many people interpret this acceptance as resignation, or giving up on improving your circumstances. This is a misunderstanding.
Acceptance is not only important for taking risks, it’s absolutely necessary for taking them effectively. If you deny what is, as Le Guin states, you’re living in a fantasy world, full of imaginations (terrors) that fill your awareness. You need to see reality clearly. Acceptance is the way to do this. To accept things exactly as they are gives you the clarity to see reality. How could it not do that? From that clarity, you can then take effective actions. Prior to that acceptance, you’re resisting, complaining, or fighting against how life is. That is a losing proposition. The reality of life will win that fight.
To put acceptance in perspective, note that it’s part of preparation.
Accepting situations as they are helps you prepare your plan for action. This creates a plan that is as accurate as possible, for a starting point for action. Then, when you take action, you’ll apply your plan and modify it as needed.
You can both accept situations as they are and take actions to move those situations forward toward goals you set for yourself. This week, discern acceptance carefully.
April 11, 2022
Free Solo Mental Training
We have a tendency to think we need to separate from the world to become more spiritual, like living in a cave in the Himalayas. We go somewhere away from the usual world to find our spirit. The same can happen with mental training. We think we need to separate from the usual climbing we do and do free-solo climbing, a form of climbing that requires an extreme amount of mental focus.
The best training for our spirit, or the mind, is applying ourselves in the usual situations we experience.
We become more spiritual dealing with usual life situations; we become more mentally fit by dealing with usual climbing situations. We don’t create illusions of how situations should be; we practice in how they actually are.
For example, I was climbing recently at El Arrayán, near Santiago, Chile with our Spanish trainer, David Villegas. We were climbing several routes to determine which ones to use for teaching a clinic. Next to us was a climbing team on a moderately difficult sport route. The leader clipped the first three bolts, and then climbed another twenty meters to the top without clipping any more bolts, while the belayer dutifully fed out the rope as if the climber was still on belay. David and I were curious why he did this. So David asked the belayer why the climber didn’t clip anymore bolts. He told David that the climber was practicing his mental training.
This climber was allowing his mind to use a trick of being tied into a rope to diminish the stress of free-soloing. He also gave himself the option to clip into a higher bolt if he was too scared or too tired. His mind was motivated toward seeking the comfort of being tied into a rope and escaping the realistic free-solo situation, so he could achieve the end goal of being mentally fit.
Motivation
This type of motivation is dangerous and goes counter to the learning process. Motivation needs to move us toward engaging stress and processing ourselves through it. We’re motivated to be in stress; we’re not motivated to be comfortable, or escape stress.
Practice and reality need to be as similar as possible. What kind of climbing do we usually do? Do we do sport climbing or free-soloing? If we sport climb, then we find ways to practice in usual sport climbing situations. If we free-solo, then we find ways to practice in usual free-solo situations. Our motivation moves us into the stress of the experience, not toward tricks that keep us comfortable and escape stress.
Sport Climbing
Sport climbers clip bolts and are aware of their motivation. Instead of using tricks to circumvent the stress of falling, such as rushing from bolt to bolt, they deliberately slow down, allowing the mind to deal with the possibility of falling. They’re intentional with how they choose to focus their attention. They practice in realistic yes-fall zones. They notice the mind distracts their attention toward rushing through stress and then stays committed to slowing down. They focus their attention on breathing and relaxing so they’re present for stress, facing their fears and the stress of falling. They also practice falling because falling is a realistic outcome for climbing in yes-fall zones.
Free-Soloing
Free-solo climbers climb without ropes and are aware of their motivation. Instead of using tricks to circumvent stress, such as the climber did at El Arrayán, they don’t use a rope, allowing the mind to deal with the stress of being high above the ground, facing the possibility of death. They’re intentional with how they choose to focus their attention. They practice in realistic no-fall zones. They notice the mind distracts their attention toward tricks, such as using a rope, to escape stress and then stay committed to facing the reality of death. They focus their attention on being in life/death situations facing their fears and the stress of dying. Doing this helps clarify their motivation for free-solo climbing. They also practice down-climbing because retreating is a realistic option for climbing in no-fall zones.
In James Salter’s book, Solo Faces, two climbers are talking about climbing the Eiger in Switzerland. One climber says, “I suppose everyone wants to climb it.” The other responds, “They don’t want to climb it, they want to have climbed it.” “Wanting to climb the Eiger” points toward a motivation to engage the stressful experience of climbing a realistic, dangerous face. “Wanting to have climbed the Eiger” points toward the comfort achieved once the stressful, dangerous experience is finished.
Consequences
If we remove the consequence of our decisions, our motivation shifts toward achieving goals and being comfortable. It’s the full impact of the consequence, which includes death for free-solo climbers, that clarifies our motivation and realigns it toward engaging stress and focusing on learning. Are we really willing to die to climb the Eiger or free-solo? If so, how can we engage these stressful experiences in realistic, small steps that engage us in the stress of the actual experience?
One day our achievement motivation will get us into a situation where we have to face reality, when we don’t expect it. We’ll be shocked back to reality, being pumped, high on a free-solo climb, facing death. That situation will provide the opportunity to realign our motivation, from achieving goals and being comfortable, toward engaging stress and focusing on learning, if we live through it.
We don’t live in a cave in the Himalayas to become more spiritual. We practice in usual life situations, like paying attention to how we act in realistic interactions with others and the stressors of usual life. If we’re sport climbers, we don’t free-solo to become more mentally fit. We practice in usual sport climbing situations. We pay attention to how the mind distracts our attention due to the possibility of falling. If we’re free-solo climbers, we don’t use a rope. We practice in usual free-solo situations. We pay attention to how the mind uses tricks to circumvent the stress of dying.
Being motivated this way allows us to do mental training that is grounded in reality. Our motivation is aligned toward living and learning, because we’re closer to reality and the consequence of dying. We don’t create illusions of how situations should be; we practice in how they actually are.
Practice Tip: Usual Mental Training
What kind of climbing do you usually do: sport, trad, bouldering, free-solo? What are the typical distractions of attention in this type of climbing?
Shift your motivation from seeking achievement and being comfortable, to engaging stressful learning. Identify small action steps you can take to diminish the typical distractions of attention. Doing this will help you live through the experiences you choose to engage in.
The best training for our spirit, or the mind, is applying ourselves in the usual situations we experience.
We become more spiritual dealing with usual life situations; we become more mentally fit by dealing with usual climbing situations. We don’t create illusions of how situations should be; we practice in how they actually are.
For example, I was climbing recently at El Arrayán, near Santiago, Chile with our Spanish trainer, David Villegas. We were climbing several routes to determine which ones to use for teaching a clinic. Next to us was a climbing team on a moderately difficult sport route. The leader clipped the first three bolts, and then climbed another twenty meters to the top without clipping any more bolts, while the belayer dutifully fed out the rope as if the climber was still on belay. David and I were curious why he did this. So David asked the belayer why the climber didn’t clip anymore bolts. He told David that the climber was practicing his mental training.
This climber was allowing his mind to use a trick of being tied into a rope to diminish the stress of free-soloing. He also gave himself the option to clip into a higher bolt if he was too scared or too tired. His mind was motivated toward seeking the comfort of being tied into a rope and escaping the realistic free-solo situation, so he could achieve the end goal of being mentally fit.
Motivation
This type of motivation is dangerous and goes counter to the learning process. Motivation needs to move us toward engaging stress and processing ourselves through it. We’re motivated to be in stress; we’re not motivated to be comfortable, or escape stress.
Practice and reality need to be as similar as possible. What kind of climbing do we usually do? Do we do sport climbing or free-soloing? If we sport climb, then we find ways to practice in usual sport climbing situations. If we free-solo, then we find ways to practice in usual free-solo situations. Our motivation moves us into the stress of the experience, not toward tricks that keep us comfortable and escape stress.
Sport Climbing
Sport climbers clip bolts and are aware of their motivation. Instead of using tricks to circumvent the stress of falling, such as rushing from bolt to bolt, they deliberately slow down, allowing the mind to deal with the possibility of falling. They’re intentional with how they choose to focus their attention. They practice in realistic yes-fall zones. They notice the mind distracts their attention toward rushing through stress and then stays committed to slowing down. They focus their attention on breathing and relaxing so they’re present for stress, facing their fears and the stress of falling. They also practice falling because falling is a realistic outcome for climbing in yes-fall zones.
Free-Soloing
Free-solo climbers climb without ropes and are aware of their motivation. Instead of using tricks to circumvent stress, such as the climber did at El Arrayán, they don’t use a rope, allowing the mind to deal with the stress of being high above the ground, facing the possibility of death. They’re intentional with how they choose to focus their attention. They practice in realistic no-fall zones. They notice the mind distracts their attention toward tricks, such as using a rope, to escape stress and then stay committed to facing the reality of death. They focus their attention on being in life/death situations facing their fears and the stress of dying. Doing this helps clarify their motivation for free-solo climbing. They also practice down-climbing because retreating is a realistic option for climbing in no-fall zones.
In James Salter’s book, Solo Faces, two climbers are talking about climbing the Eiger in Switzerland. One climber says, “I suppose everyone wants to climb it.” The other responds, “They don’t want to climb it, they want to have climbed it.” “Wanting to climb the Eiger” points toward a motivation to engage the stressful experience of climbing a realistic, dangerous face. “Wanting to have climbed the Eiger” points toward the comfort achieved once the stressful, dangerous experience is finished.
Consequences
If we remove the consequence of our decisions, our motivation shifts toward achieving goals and being comfortable. It’s the full impact of the consequence, which includes death for free-solo climbers, that clarifies our motivation and realigns it toward engaging stress and focusing on learning. Are we really willing to die to climb the Eiger or free-solo? If so, how can we engage these stressful experiences in realistic, small steps that engage us in the stress of the actual experience?
One day our achievement motivation will get us into a situation where we have to face reality, when we don’t expect it. We’ll be shocked back to reality, being pumped, high on a free-solo climb, facing death. That situation will provide the opportunity to realign our motivation, from achieving goals and being comfortable, toward engaging stress and focusing on learning, if we live through it.
We don’t live in a cave in the Himalayas to become more spiritual. We practice in usual life situations, like paying attention to how we act in realistic interactions with others and the stressors of usual life. If we’re sport climbers, we don’t free-solo to become more mentally fit. We practice in usual sport climbing situations. We pay attention to how the mind distracts our attention due to the possibility of falling. If we’re free-solo climbers, we don’t use a rope. We practice in usual free-solo situations. We pay attention to how the mind uses tricks to circumvent the stress of dying.
Being motivated this way allows us to do mental training that is grounded in reality. Our motivation is aligned toward living and learning, because we’re closer to reality and the consequence of dying. We don’t create illusions of how situations should be; we practice in how they actually are.
Practice Tip: Usual Mental Training
What kind of climbing do you usually do: sport, trad, bouldering, free-solo? What are the typical distractions of attention in this type of climbing?
Shift your motivation from seeking achievement and being comfortable, to engaging stressful learning. Identify small action steps you can take to diminish the typical distractions of attention. Doing this will help you live through the experiences you choose to engage in.
April 5, 2022
What Are the Components of Concentration?
Concentration is important for achieving anything. It focuses your attention on the goals you set. A friend recommended a book on concentration called, of course, Concentration, by Laurel Clark.
Laurel begins the book asking: “If you were given the power to have one wish granted, what would you choose?” We can imagine what we’d wish for: fame, riches, love, financial security, more time, less stress, etc. Then she asks: “Suppose you discovered that you could have all of these by mastering one skill. Would you be willing to invest yourself in cultivating it?”
That one skill is concentration. If you’re able to concentrate on your wishes, then you’ll eventually achieve them. Laurel defines concentration as: the ability to focus the mind at will. You practice by holding your attention still. This begins with a belief that you are “the director of your mind and thoughts.” You are the witness or observer of your mind and thinking processes. As this director, you choose what to think, when to think, how long to think, and where you want the mind to be focused.
Her book outlines components of concentration that support her decision. She devotes a separate chapter to each component. These components are:
Attention: the mental sense
The power of will
Stilling the mind
Controlling the senses
Expansion of awareness
Joy in life
(1) Attention: the mental sense
We have five physical senses. Attention is our mental sense, according to Laurel. We use our mental sense–attention–with our physical senses. In other words, we use all five of our physical senses to focus our attention. Consider drinking a cup of coffee. You focus your attention by engaging it in what you can see (a cup with coffee in it), sounds you hear (noises in the room), what you physically feel (sensations on your skin), odors you smell and taste (taking a sip of coffee). Focusing attention–your mental sense–with your physical senses creates undivided attention. Attention is undivided because all senses–mental and physical–are working together to engage a particular task.
(2) The Power of the will:
Laurel’s definition of concentration includes our will: to focus the mind at will. Will adds volition to concentration. Attention can easily be distracted. Our director (observer) notices these distractions and uses our will to redirect our attention to the task.
(3) Stilling the mind:
Some people confuse the idea of a still mind with a blank mind. Laurel says that the mind is never blank. Rather, a still mind is alert, expectant, waiting, like a predator stalking prey. This last descriptor that Laurel uses gives us an image of a mind that’s actively engaged. It’s relaxed yet alert. You help create this relaxed alertness by stilling the mind. You choose a point of focus to which you direct your attention, hold your attention there for as long as you intend, and continually redirect it.
(4) Controlling the senses:
Many things can distract your attention. Let’s say you’re meditating with your eyes open. Distractions might be an object you see that reminds you of something. Or a loud sound you hear outside. Or an itch you feel that you want to scratch. So what are you going to do about these distractions? Laurel asks you to control your senses. Do this by purposefully focusing on the task you’re engaged in. Don’t try to control your senses by fighting the distractions. Simply notice and redirect your attention to the task of meditating.
(5) Expansion of awareness:
You can focus your attention narrowly or broadly. Both can be helpful. Laurel says that expansion of attention occurs when you consider possibilities. Contraction of attention occurs when you choose one of those possibilities and commit yourself to achieving it. Both expansion and contraction of attention are necessary. Expand attention first to have a broad view, then narrow attention by making a choice.
(6) Joy in Life:
I love this last component. Don’t you want more joy in your life? Laurel asks, “Why waste life being unhappy when we can see beauty in our surroundings and experience the wonder of creation with each task we accomplish?” Why indeed. You can gain more joy by living on purpose. Pursue what you are truly interested in. This gives your life purpose and meaning. Laurel said that purposeful living begins with the belief that there is something greater than yourself. You find joy by aligning your interest with serving others.
You use your will to make a choice. You choose what to focus your attention on and then commit to holding your attention there for a given length of time. To concentrate, you must decide what is important and choose to give it your full attention. By learning how to concentrate better, you build the one skill that can give you what you want in life.
FINAL IMPORTANT NOTE: If you’ve read this far and are interested in digging deeper…for free…then post a note in the blog for this lesson stating: “Hey Arno, give me a free copy of Laurel’s book.” I have ten copies.
I’ll email you to get your mailing address.
United States folks only. Sorry :(
Practice tip: Concentrate!
Integrate all of Laurel’s components into a 10-minute morning meditation. Here goes:
Get into a comfortable meditation posture. Be the director of your experience by integrating all components. First, close your eyes and focus your attention on your breath. Second, engage your will by noticing attention distractions and redirecting your attention to the breath. Third, be still; don’t move a muscle except what it takes to breathe. Fourth, control your senses by not scratching that itch or fidgeting. Fifth, expand your awareness by engaging your attention in all your senses, beyond just the breath. Sixth, enjoy the feeling of being purposeful, choosing to do a practice that is meaningful to you and committing fully to it. After 10 minutes, get up slowly and intentionally begin your day.
Laurel begins the book asking: “If you were given the power to have one wish granted, what would you choose?” We can imagine what we’d wish for: fame, riches, love, financial security, more time, less stress, etc. Then she asks: “Suppose you discovered that you could have all of these by mastering one skill. Would you be willing to invest yourself in cultivating it?”
That one skill is concentration. If you’re able to concentrate on your wishes, then you’ll eventually achieve them. Laurel defines concentration as: the ability to focus the mind at will. You practice by holding your attention still. This begins with a belief that you are “the director of your mind and thoughts.” You are the witness or observer of your mind and thinking processes. As this director, you choose what to think, when to think, how long to think, and where you want the mind to be focused.
Her book outlines components of concentration that support her decision. She devotes a separate chapter to each component. These components are:
Attention: the mental sense
The power of will
Stilling the mind
Controlling the senses
Expansion of awareness
Joy in life
(1) Attention: the mental sense
We have five physical senses. Attention is our mental sense, according to Laurel. We use our mental sense–attention–with our physical senses. In other words, we use all five of our physical senses to focus our attention. Consider drinking a cup of coffee. You focus your attention by engaging it in what you can see (a cup with coffee in it), sounds you hear (noises in the room), what you physically feel (sensations on your skin), odors you smell and taste (taking a sip of coffee). Focusing attention–your mental sense–with your physical senses creates undivided attention. Attention is undivided because all senses–mental and physical–are working together to engage a particular task.
(2) The Power of the will:
Laurel’s definition of concentration includes our will: to focus the mind at will. Will adds volition to concentration. Attention can easily be distracted. Our director (observer) notices these distractions and uses our will to redirect our attention to the task.
(3) Stilling the mind:
Some people confuse the idea of a still mind with a blank mind. Laurel says that the mind is never blank. Rather, a still mind is alert, expectant, waiting, like a predator stalking prey. This last descriptor that Laurel uses gives us an image of a mind that’s actively engaged. It’s relaxed yet alert. You help create this relaxed alertness by stilling the mind. You choose a point of focus to which you direct your attention, hold your attention there for as long as you intend, and continually redirect it.
(4) Controlling the senses:
Many things can distract your attention. Let’s say you’re meditating with your eyes open. Distractions might be an object you see that reminds you of something. Or a loud sound you hear outside. Or an itch you feel that you want to scratch. So what are you going to do about these distractions? Laurel asks you to control your senses. Do this by purposefully focusing on the task you’re engaged in. Don’t try to control your senses by fighting the distractions. Simply notice and redirect your attention to the task of meditating.
(5) Expansion of awareness:
You can focus your attention narrowly or broadly. Both can be helpful. Laurel says that expansion of attention occurs when you consider possibilities. Contraction of attention occurs when you choose one of those possibilities and commit yourself to achieving it. Both expansion and contraction of attention are necessary. Expand attention first to have a broad view, then narrow attention by making a choice.
(6) Joy in Life:
I love this last component. Don’t you want more joy in your life? Laurel asks, “Why waste life being unhappy when we can see beauty in our surroundings and experience the wonder of creation with each task we accomplish?” Why indeed. You can gain more joy by living on purpose. Pursue what you are truly interested in. This gives your life purpose and meaning. Laurel said that purposeful living begins with the belief that there is something greater than yourself. You find joy by aligning your interest with serving others.
You use your will to make a choice. You choose what to focus your attention on and then commit to holding your attention there for a given length of time. To concentrate, you must decide what is important and choose to give it your full attention. By learning how to concentrate better, you build the one skill that can give you what you want in life.
FINAL IMPORTANT NOTE: If you’ve read this far and are interested in digging deeper…for free…then post a note in the blog for this lesson stating: “Hey Arno, give me a free copy of Laurel’s book.” I have ten copies.
I’ll email you to get your mailing address.
United States folks only. Sorry :(
Practice tip: Concentrate!
Integrate all of Laurel’s components into a 10-minute morning meditation. Here goes:
Get into a comfortable meditation posture. Be the director of your experience by integrating all components. First, close your eyes and focus your attention on your breath. Second, engage your will by noticing attention distractions and redirecting your attention to the breath. Third, be still; don’t move a muscle except what it takes to breathe. Fourth, control your senses by not scratching that itch or fidgeting. Fifth, expand your awareness by engaging your attention in all your senses, beyond just the breath. Sixth, enjoy the feeling of being purposeful, choosing to do a practice that is meaningful to you and committing fully to it. After 10 minutes, get up slowly and intentionally begin your day.
March 29, 2022
Comfortable Learning
Achievement
I did a teaching tour to Uruguay March 2016 with our Spanish trainer, David Villegas. We had a free day to do some climbing so our host, Santiago, took us to Canteras, a small crag within the city of Montevideo. He showed us a climb called Baño es El Nombre, one of their harder routes. I worked on it and finally figured out the sequence, which included a dynamic move from a painful finger jam. Then David worked on it, figured out the sequence, and quickly did a redpoint ascent. I thought, if David can do it, then I should be able to do it also. It took me three efforts, but I finally achieved the redpoint.
Working a route gives us the opportunity to learn. We experiment with different ways of using holds, applying our skills, and searching out new solutions. We fall and modify our sequence until we find one that works for us. It’s easy to see how we learn from stressful climbing and improve. We fall and there’s a reason for it: we did something or didn’t do something that caused the fall. This is what I did. I experimented to find a sequence so I could do the dynamic move from a painful finger jam.
However, we can also learn from situations that create comfort for us. Achievement gives us a feeling of comfort. Our egos tend to equate achievement with our importance. If we achieve, our egos feel important; if we don’t, our egos make excuses to maintain its importance.
For example, I was there with David, a young, strong climber, one of my trainers. I’m supposed to be the master, continuing his training with The Warrior’s Way®. Yet, he succeeded on the route quicker than I did. Taking longer to succeed on the route can make my ego feel less important than David.
The Ego
The ego can be devious. It can make excuses for taking longer to achieve the redpoint. “I’m older and don’t climb or train as frequently as I did when I was as young as David.” The ego can also wallow in the comfort of achievement. “It took me longer, but at least I was able to achieve the redpoint.” Either way, the ego seeks reasons for maintaining its importance.
The facts the ego uses are true. I am older than David; it did take me longer; I did achieve the redpoint. The point isn’t whether these facts are true or not. The point is that they are not relevant for improving performance and learning. Our attention is focused on the needs of the ego instead of learning and enjoying the climbing experience.
We need to be vigilant with the ego. The comfort of achieving goals creates associations that strengthen the ego and mask important learning. Equating our importance with our ability to achieve goals is a losing proposition. If we succeed in achieving a goal, then we’ll need another achievement to continue feeling important. If we fail to achieve a goal, then our attention is distracted toward frustration and justifications to maintain our importance. Either way, our ego’s attachment toward achievement makes us feel dependent on continually achieving, distracting our attention from learning and enjoying climbing.
Attention
To be effective with how we use our attention requires awareness. First, we realize that our egos are never satisfied, no matter how often we succeed. It always needs to achieve another goal to feel important. This need to constantly achieve creates a feeling of anxiety. Second, from a pragmatic basis, we realize that the ego distracts our attention from learning. If we do want to achieve goals, then it’s important to have our attention focused on learning. This will help us learn more quickly so we can achieve our goals.
The outcomes we create may be stressful or comfortable. We act with awareness to stressful outcomes by focusing our attention on learning. Each outcome gives us important information. Therefore, we stay curious about what we can learn from outcomes that fall short of our expectations.
We also act with awareness of comfortable outcomes, such as when we achieve our goals. Each achievement gives us opportunities to notice the ego’s need to feel important and become attached to continual achievement.
Should I be able to do a route just because David did? Maybe or maybe not. What’s important for becoming mentally fit is noticing that the question originates from the ego. It’s a distraction of attention from learning and enjoying climbing. We notice such ego thoughts and bring our attention back to what we need to learn from the outcomes we create. Doing that will help us learn more quickly. And we’ll enjoy our climbing more.
Practice Tip: Vigilant Observation
How aware are you of your ego? The ego will look for reasons to justify its importance.
Notice thoughts your mind creates after an effort. Did you achieve your goal or not?
If you achieved your goal, does your ego use that evidence to validate its importance?
If you didn’t achieve your goal, does your ego make excuses to maintain its importance?
I did a teaching tour to Uruguay March 2016 with our Spanish trainer, David Villegas. We had a free day to do some climbing so our host, Santiago, took us to Canteras, a small crag within the city of Montevideo. He showed us a climb called Baño es El Nombre, one of their harder routes. I worked on it and finally figured out the sequence, which included a dynamic move from a painful finger jam. Then David worked on it, figured out the sequence, and quickly did a redpoint ascent. I thought, if David can do it, then I should be able to do it also. It took me three efforts, but I finally achieved the redpoint.
Working a route gives us the opportunity to learn. We experiment with different ways of using holds, applying our skills, and searching out new solutions. We fall and modify our sequence until we find one that works for us. It’s easy to see how we learn from stressful climbing and improve. We fall and there’s a reason for it: we did something or didn’t do something that caused the fall. This is what I did. I experimented to find a sequence so I could do the dynamic move from a painful finger jam.
However, we can also learn from situations that create comfort for us. Achievement gives us a feeling of comfort. Our egos tend to equate achievement with our importance. If we achieve, our egos feel important; if we don’t, our egos make excuses to maintain its importance.
For example, I was there with David, a young, strong climber, one of my trainers. I’m supposed to be the master, continuing his training with The Warrior’s Way®. Yet, he succeeded on the route quicker than I did. Taking longer to succeed on the route can make my ego feel less important than David.
The Ego
The ego can be devious. It can make excuses for taking longer to achieve the redpoint. “I’m older and don’t climb or train as frequently as I did when I was as young as David.” The ego can also wallow in the comfort of achievement. “It took me longer, but at least I was able to achieve the redpoint.” Either way, the ego seeks reasons for maintaining its importance.
The facts the ego uses are true. I am older than David; it did take me longer; I did achieve the redpoint. The point isn’t whether these facts are true or not. The point is that they are not relevant for improving performance and learning. Our attention is focused on the needs of the ego instead of learning and enjoying the climbing experience.
We need to be vigilant with the ego. The comfort of achieving goals creates associations that strengthen the ego and mask important learning. Equating our importance with our ability to achieve goals is a losing proposition. If we succeed in achieving a goal, then we’ll need another achievement to continue feeling important. If we fail to achieve a goal, then our attention is distracted toward frustration and justifications to maintain our importance. Either way, our ego’s attachment toward achievement makes us feel dependent on continually achieving, distracting our attention from learning and enjoying climbing.
Attention
To be effective with how we use our attention requires awareness. First, we realize that our egos are never satisfied, no matter how often we succeed. It always needs to achieve another goal to feel important. This need to constantly achieve creates a feeling of anxiety. Second, from a pragmatic basis, we realize that the ego distracts our attention from learning. If we do want to achieve goals, then it’s important to have our attention focused on learning. This will help us learn more quickly so we can achieve our goals.
The outcomes we create may be stressful or comfortable. We act with awareness to stressful outcomes by focusing our attention on learning. Each outcome gives us important information. Therefore, we stay curious about what we can learn from outcomes that fall short of our expectations.
We also act with awareness of comfortable outcomes, such as when we achieve our goals. Each achievement gives us opportunities to notice the ego’s need to feel important and become attached to continual achievement.
Should I be able to do a route just because David did? Maybe or maybe not. What’s important for becoming mentally fit is noticing that the question originates from the ego. It’s a distraction of attention from learning and enjoying climbing. We notice such ego thoughts and bring our attention back to what we need to learn from the outcomes we create. Doing that will help us learn more quickly. And we’ll enjoy our climbing more.
Practice Tip: Vigilant Observation
How aware are you of your ego? The ego will look for reasons to justify its importance.
Notice thoughts your mind creates after an effort. Did you achieve your goal or not?
If you achieved your goal, does your ego use that evidence to validate its importance?
If you didn’t achieve your goal, does your ego make excuses to maintain its importance?
March 21, 2022
What Actually Helps Tame a Wandering Mind?
I’m heartened to see more and more emphasis on mental training. More coaches see its importance and find ways to give their clients access to it. Admitting you need to do some mental training is no longer something to be ashamed of. Rather, it’s a courageous acknowledgement that leads to healing.
A friend recommended a TED Talk to me given by researcher Amishi Jha. In How to tame your wandering mind, Amishi says: “Wherever attention goes the rest of the brain follows.” I like that. Another way of saying it is “what you focus on expands.” If you focus on how you hate life, then that’s what will expand. Conversely, if you focus on being grateful for your life, then that’s what will expand. What kind of life do you want to have? Focus!
Check out these questions and points from Amishi.
Attention is your brain’s boss.
Does attention guide the brain effectively?
To answer this question, we need to know:
How does attention control our perception?
Why does attention fail us, leaving us feeling distracted?
Can we do anything about this distraction; can we train the brain to pay attention better?
Attention amplifies what you attend to.
Stress and mind-wandering distracts attention.
Why does the mind wander? Because the mind has the ability to think about the past and future. Mind-wandering is about attention going to the past and future without our awareness.
Mindfulness practices improve awareness.
I’ve heard Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, define mindfulness as: “Paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally, as if your life depended on it…because it does.” I like that last part because having quality lives really does depend on paying attention to them.
Practice Tip: Amishi’s calls to action
Pay attention to your attention!
So, if attention is the brain’s boss, then who is this that is “paying attention to your attention?” It’s the “I”, the observer or witness to all your experiences. Mindfulness begins with this observer. Find it.
Incorporate mindfulness training into your daily routine.
If you don’t have a daily routine of mindfulness practice, then I highly recommend you begin one. Commit to only 10 minutes in the morning. Over time, you’ll train your attention to work for you. Remember, attention is your brain’s boss and the observer is your attention’s boss.
A friend recommended a TED Talk to me given by researcher Amishi Jha. In How to tame your wandering mind, Amishi says: “Wherever attention goes the rest of the brain follows.” I like that. Another way of saying it is “what you focus on expands.” If you focus on how you hate life, then that’s what will expand. Conversely, if you focus on being grateful for your life, then that’s what will expand. What kind of life do you want to have? Focus!
Check out these questions and points from Amishi.
Attention is your brain’s boss.
Does attention guide the brain effectively?
To answer this question, we need to know:
How does attention control our perception?
Why does attention fail us, leaving us feeling distracted?
Can we do anything about this distraction; can we train the brain to pay attention better?
Attention amplifies what you attend to.
Stress and mind-wandering distracts attention.
Why does the mind wander? Because the mind has the ability to think about the past and future. Mind-wandering is about attention going to the past and future without our awareness.
Mindfulness practices improve awareness.
I’ve heard Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, define mindfulness as: “Paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally, as if your life depended on it…because it does.” I like that last part because having quality lives really does depend on paying attention to them.
Practice Tip: Amishi’s calls to action
Pay attention to your attention!
So, if attention is the brain’s boss, then who is this that is “paying attention to your attention?” It’s the “I”, the observer or witness to all your experiences. Mindfulness begins with this observer. Find it.
Incorporate mindfulness training into your daily routine.
If you don’t have a daily routine of mindfulness practice, then I highly recommend you begin one. Commit to only 10 minutes in the morning. Over time, you’ll train your attention to work for you. Remember, attention is your brain’s boss and the observer is your attention’s boss.
March 14, 2022
Is it Okay to Fall Here?
Practice Tip: Feel for Resistance
Decision-making isn’t an analytical process; it’s an intuitive process. Tune into your intuition so you can make appropriate risk decisions. Do this by paying attention to the level of resistance you feel (not think).
High level of resistance: the risk is not appropriate.
Medium level of resistance: the risk may or may not be appropriate.
Low level of resistance: the risk is probably appropriate.
When you feel a medium level of resistance, find “little ways to engage” to help push the feeling closer to “high” or “low.”
The Espresso Lessons book goes into more depth for making intuitive decisions.
Decision-making isn’t an analytical process; it’s an intuitive process. Tune into your intuition so you can make appropriate risk decisions. Do this by paying attention to the level of resistance you feel (not think).
High level of resistance: the risk is not appropriate.
Medium level of resistance: the risk may or may not be appropriate.
Low level of resistance: the risk is probably appropriate.
When you feel a medium level of resistance, find “little ways to engage” to help push the feeling closer to “high” or “low.”
The Espresso Lessons book goes into more depth for making intuitive decisions.
March 7, 2022
Do You Make Assumptions or Are You Curious?
Proof
One of my biggest challenges is making assumptions instead of remaining curious. Case in point from my personal life. Someone sent me an official document that “proved” they were right in an issue we’re working through. I didn’t read it carefully, missed important details, and accepted their “proof.” Their rights are now being legitably challenged as more important details are being revealed. Sorry I can’t share more about the specifics. Basically, though, I think we all have this tendency. We’re too quick to make assumptions instead of curiously investigating issues. Developing the habit of curiosity seems particularly important to counteract this tendency.
Learning requires us to move toward stressful situations, engage them, and remain present. Curiosity helps us move toward stress.
Habits are cyclical, contain three parts, and are driven to repeat themselves. The three parts are the cue, the routine, and the reward. Stress is the cue; it moves us to do something. That doing takes us through a routine to process stress. Gaining more comfort is the reward for our efforts. The cycle is driven by our comfort-based motivation. What can we change with all this?
The cue can’t be changed; stress is inevitable. The reward, too, can't be changed; we need relief from stress at some point in the future. Our comfort motivation that drives the cycle, too, is natural and can’t be changed. What we can change is the routine. Developing the habit of curiosity creates routines that keep us engaged in the learning process. It gives our natural comfort motivation a direction toward engagement.
Curiosity can be developed and habituated. It starts by being more interested in learning than the comfort we experience dwelling on what we think we know.
In her book, The Intuitive Body, Wendy Palmer gives us some perspective on curiosity. She says,
“For me, the spiritual worth lies not in the answer but in the fantastic sense of readiness, the intense here and now of expectancy, the instant before we know, when we are still in a state of openness.”
Wendy’s phrases reveal our mindset for curiosity. Expectations, though, could derail our attention. Windy talks about an “intense here and now of expectancy.” How can we relate to expectations better so they don’t derail our curiosity?
The expectancy Wendy relates is about end-results and processes. We expect to know, but we don’t put a time-stamp on that expectancy. By not putting a time-stamp on it, we achieve both end and process expectations. We expect that at some point in the future we’ll know and we expect to continue to apply our tools in the moment as we learn and move in that direction.
She outlines the habit of curiosity in five steps:
The first step is awareness. Become aware and acknowledge that the mind, driven by its natural comfort motivation, tries to resolve stress quickly, to get to certainty and some future comfortable state.
The second step is to wait, to pause. Don’t do anything. Develop the ability to pause and wait, to relax into the current stressful situation.
The third step is to shift the flow of your attention. Instead of allowing it to dwell in the mind validating what you think you know, you shift attention into the body and senses toward the issue you’re investigating.
The fourth step is blending with the situation. Instead of thinking that you either have the answer or you don’t, shift to a both/and perspective. Acceptance is important for this. You both accept the situation as is, and investigate it in the present moment.
The fifth step is making a small step of action. This step must be small enough to move you, now. Take the small step of action with expectancy that you’ll discover something.
Awareness First
I think the most difficult step is the first one. Like I mentioned before, we make assumptions due to lack of awareness. In a sense, we’re reacting to the mind’s desire for certainty and comfort and aren’t aware of what’s going on. Once we’re aware, we can pause, shift our attention to the issue, accept it and begin working with it by taking a small action.
Remember, the “routine” is the only part of the habit cycle you can change. You can’t change the cue–the stress. You can’t change the reward–you want relief from the stress. It’s the routine you create to process the stress that’s within your control. Take control by reminding yourself moment by moment, all day long, to be curious. Your awareness will pique the mind’s tendency to derail your attention.
Practice Tip: 5 Steps to Remain Curious
Be aware throughout the day. Set reminders on your phone, computer, etc. It can be helpful to get a friend to do this also so you can remind and encourage each other.
Instead of reacting… pause. Allow awareness to expand.
Don’t let attention dwell in your mind on what you think you know. Rather, redirect it to the issue itself.
Acceptance is important before action. Take a both/and perspective by both accepting the situation as it is and being willing to take action to improve it.
Take a small action step to investigate the issue…repeat.
One of my biggest challenges is making assumptions instead of remaining curious. Case in point from my personal life. Someone sent me an official document that “proved” they were right in an issue we’re working through. I didn’t read it carefully, missed important details, and accepted their “proof.” Their rights are now being legitably challenged as more important details are being revealed. Sorry I can’t share more about the specifics. Basically, though, I think we all have this tendency. We’re too quick to make assumptions instead of curiously investigating issues. Developing the habit of curiosity seems particularly important to counteract this tendency.
Learning requires us to move toward stressful situations, engage them, and remain present. Curiosity helps us move toward stress.
Habits are cyclical, contain three parts, and are driven to repeat themselves. The three parts are the cue, the routine, and the reward. Stress is the cue; it moves us to do something. That doing takes us through a routine to process stress. Gaining more comfort is the reward for our efforts. The cycle is driven by our comfort-based motivation. What can we change with all this?
The cue can’t be changed; stress is inevitable. The reward, too, can't be changed; we need relief from stress at some point in the future. Our comfort motivation that drives the cycle, too, is natural and can’t be changed. What we can change is the routine. Developing the habit of curiosity creates routines that keep us engaged in the learning process. It gives our natural comfort motivation a direction toward engagement.
Curiosity can be developed and habituated. It starts by being more interested in learning than the comfort we experience dwelling on what we think we know.
In her book, The Intuitive Body, Wendy Palmer gives us some perspective on curiosity. She says,
“For me, the spiritual worth lies not in the answer but in the fantastic sense of readiness, the intense here and now of expectancy, the instant before we know, when we are still in a state of openness.”
Wendy’s phrases reveal our mindset for curiosity. Expectations, though, could derail our attention. Windy talks about an “intense here and now of expectancy.” How can we relate to expectations better so they don’t derail our curiosity?
The expectancy Wendy relates is about end-results and processes. We expect to know, but we don’t put a time-stamp on that expectancy. By not putting a time-stamp on it, we achieve both end and process expectations. We expect that at some point in the future we’ll know and we expect to continue to apply our tools in the moment as we learn and move in that direction.
She outlines the habit of curiosity in five steps:
The first step is awareness. Become aware and acknowledge that the mind, driven by its natural comfort motivation, tries to resolve stress quickly, to get to certainty and some future comfortable state.
The second step is to wait, to pause. Don’t do anything. Develop the ability to pause and wait, to relax into the current stressful situation.
The third step is to shift the flow of your attention. Instead of allowing it to dwell in the mind validating what you think you know, you shift attention into the body and senses toward the issue you’re investigating.
The fourth step is blending with the situation. Instead of thinking that you either have the answer or you don’t, shift to a both/and perspective. Acceptance is important for this. You both accept the situation as is, and investigate it in the present moment.
The fifth step is making a small step of action. This step must be small enough to move you, now. Take the small step of action with expectancy that you’ll discover something.
Awareness First
I think the most difficult step is the first one. Like I mentioned before, we make assumptions due to lack of awareness. In a sense, we’re reacting to the mind’s desire for certainty and comfort and aren’t aware of what’s going on. Once we’re aware, we can pause, shift our attention to the issue, accept it and begin working with it by taking a small action.
Remember, the “routine” is the only part of the habit cycle you can change. You can’t change the cue–the stress. You can’t change the reward–you want relief from the stress. It’s the routine you create to process the stress that’s within your control. Take control by reminding yourself moment by moment, all day long, to be curious. Your awareness will pique the mind’s tendency to derail your attention.
Practice Tip: 5 Steps to Remain Curious
Be aware throughout the day. Set reminders on your phone, computer, etc. It can be helpful to get a friend to do this also so you can remind and encourage each other.
Instead of reacting… pause. Allow awareness to expand.
Don’t let attention dwell in your mind on what you think you know. Rather, redirect it to the issue itself.
Acceptance is important before action. Take a both/and perspective by both accepting the situation as it is and being willing to take action to improve it.
Take a small action step to investigate the issue…repeat.
