Beware the Self- Squashing Prophecy

Are you afraid of what others think about you?

Do you feel like an imposter? Or, do you squash your authentic self by not sharing your talents with others? Trisha Lewis gives us insight into these questions in her TEDx talk Beware the Self- Squashing Prophecy. 

I encourage you to watch this 14 minute youtube video. Here are a few points from it: 

Trisha makes this distinction between imposter syndrome and self squashing. 

Imposter syndrome: I’m going to be found out that I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Self squashing: I can do this, but I better not because others may think I’m showing off.

What is going on with self squashing: We FIB to ourselves to hold ourselves back. 

Fear: We fear rejection.

Illusion: We create cognitive illusions that come from self-criticism about how much we’re liked by others, always biased toward the negative. 

Baggage: We carry childhood experiences that habituate us toward not showing off, to squash the enthusiasm to express ourselves. We use our own inner chatter to continue the habituation. 

Self-squashing prophecy: 

I perceive others showing off; I don’t like them because of this. 

I want people to like me.

So, I won’t even show up because they will see me as showing off. 

How to unsquash yourself:

Reality check: you’re not showing off if you share your talents. 

Go on an unsquashing journey by surrounding yourself with people who support you being yourself. 

Ask and answer: “Why would I think they won’t like me?”

Unsquashing mantra: I’m not showing up to show off. I’m showing up to share.