Scott Murray's Blog, page 213

West Ham v Chelsea – as it happened | Scott Murray

Minute-by-minute report: Frank Lampard scored twice as Chelsea easily saw off a dismal West Ham United to go third in the table. Scott Murray was watching

Scott Murray

Everton v Liverpool – as it happened | Scott Murray

Minute-by-minute report: A rollercoaster ride of attacking brilliance and questionable defence, as the Merseyside rivals share six goals in a Goodison thriller. Scott Murray was watching, and typing quite quickly

Scott Murray

The Fiver | To hell with the adventures of Scrumpy Jack and Apples

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WE LOVE THE 1980s

A second day has now passed without a peep from England manager Peter Principle, making his excuses and managing expectations to the extent that nobody ever dreams any more which means nobody gets too cross when it all goes wrong therefore he gets to keep the keys to the executive bathroom, so we can safely assume that international week is over! And that can only mean one thing!! The Premier League is back, back, back!!! Thank the Lord above, because the Fiver was getting awfully bored. So bored that we'd cleaned Fiver Towers from top to bottom, whittled 11 sticks into lifelike miniature models of Peñarol's 1949 championship side, and were even thinking about making a start on that novel we've been talking about writing for the last 27 years.

But club football's back, so to hell with the adventures of Scrumpy Jack and Apples, the time-travelling crime-solving farmer and his faithful pup. The big story of the day is Michael Carrick's contract extension, a deal that ensures Manchester United will have at least one fully functioning midfielder under the age of 40 until 2015. That'll buoy them as they head to Cardiff at the weekend to continue their inexorable march to the title, which is happening, you sort of know it. Apples isn't the dog, by the way, the farmer's name is Apples, Adam Apples.

United's match isn't the big one this weekend, mind you. That's because four of the top six teams in the Premier League meet tomorrow, in a specially themed Eighties Throwback Day. Arsenal and Southampton meet in a commemorative fixture to mark that time Paul Davis clumped Glenn Cockerill upside the head. Arsenal fans who remember where they were that day will shudder at the very thought, not just at the memory of poor Cockerill's jaw hanging sadly in the breeze, but also because it happened 25 years ago. A quarter of a century!!! Anyway, Theo Walcott's back for Arsenal, while Southampton are considering offloading Gastón Ramírez on either Internazionale or Napoli, the Uruguayan winger having showed little appetite for pressing quite a lot and getting slightly out-of-proportion levels of credit for playing like that.

The other Eighties Throwback Day fixture will take place at retro soccer theme park Goodison, one of the few remaining stadiums in the land which still tastes, smells and sounds like proper football, and therefore must be bulldozed with extreme prejudice to make way for an identikit Meccano bowl in the name of progress. Everton will be hosting Liverpool there and, well, that's all you need to know, really, other than Daniel Sturridge might not be fit for the visitors and both teams are going to end the match with eight men.

Anyway, the excitement generated by Eighties Throwback Day has rather drowned out José Mourinho's elongated whine about referee chief Mike Riley's apology to West Brom for that penalty Chelsea were awarded the other week. No matter we're missing it, for José's act is getting tired now, his story's old. We need new characters, fresh narratives. OK, for the common good, we'll get down to it. Once upon a time, Adam Apples and his faithful pup, Scrumpy Jack, found a portal to another dimension behind the … actually, let's not call him Adam, let's call him Geoff. Geoff Apples. This could take a while.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"The tea pot was suddenly not by the sink and the fact it was subsequently photographed in a urinal looks like mischief making" – it was difficult to pick a stand-out line from the greatest official club press statement in the history of All Football but this one is as good as any.

FIVER LETTERS – STILL WITH PRIZES

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"I must say Jamie Ashdown's foray into pharmaceuticals (yesterday's Bits and Bobs) makes complete sense to me. As the former goalkeeper behind the theoretical Portsmouth defence, he'll have more experience than most with handling shots and, as the now understudy to Paddy Kenny, he'll certainly have a [Snip – Fiver Lawyers]" – Daniel Doody.

"Just to close the newly opened debate on extreme roundabouts, as if that will ever happen (yesterday's Fiver letters). According to this, the answer is 10 in a time-trial round, or as many as possible in endurance rounds" – Steve Moseley.

"So, we have nothing but a couple of international matches for two weeks and this is what happens to Big Website's football coverage" – Noble Francis.

"Those Monster Munch-eating techies in Red Dwarf T-shirts probably include a few of your readers, who I'm certain will be upset by your accusation that they are overpaid. You know, glass houses, stones and so on" – Ben Graham.

• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you've nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. Today's winner of our letter o'the day is: Steve Moseley, who wins a copy of Football Manager 2014, courtesy of the very kind people at Football Manager Towers. We've got more copies to give away this week, so if you haven't been lucky thus far, keep trying.

JOIN GUARDIAN SOULMATES

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BITS AND BOBS

Arsène Wenger has been down to Boots to buy enough cotton wool to wrap up Jack Wilshere for the rest of the season. "Jack will certainly have to be managed," said Wenger, more or less explaining his job.

Fernando Torres will miss Chelsea's match against West Ham's maverick 4-6-0 formation with abductor muscle-knack. Ashley Cole has shrugged off his rib-ouch, however.

Gus Poyet has been busy convincing the Sunderland board that he is the cool head upon which they can rely after Paolo Di Canio's spell and has told the club that, if they sign someone he doesn't like, he could walk out. "The player has to be the right one for me. If not, I'm not going to accept it," he flounced.

Five Queen's Celtic fans have been given prison terms – and released pending appeal – following clashes with Dutch dibble before the Big Cup clash at Ajax.

And He has denied applauding His hat-trick during Sweden's World Cup play-off defeat to Portugal. "Is [He] the best player in the world? I can only say that [He] scored one goal more than I did," He sniffed.

RECOMMENDED VIEWING

Around the world in 20 headlines: it's AC Jimbo's Euro papers review.

STILL WANT MORE?

Some lowlife/lowlives burgled Garry Monk's house while his was undergoing surgery earlier this week, but the Swansea defender still kindly had this chat with Stuart James about the relative merits of his former bosses Roberto Martínez and Brendan Rodgers.

Mario Götze apparently faces '90 minutes of yellow-and-black hell' when Bayern Munich head to Borussia Dortmund on Saturday. Marcus Christenson has more, but nothing as to why home fans won't give him a rough ride before the game, at half-time, or afterwards.

Scott Murray callously ignores every Welsh player ever on the eminently sensible grounds that none of them, perhaps bar John Charles, were fit to lace the boots of his Joy of Six selections. This week: football greats who never made it to the World Cup.

Former Southampton prodigy on Danny Wallace on how his club can beat Arsenal, and his life with multiple sclerosis.

Santi Cazorla starts telling Sid Lowe that it's hard for Spaniards to understand how Arsenal have gone nine years without a trophy, then remembers it's up to him to do something about it.

And here's John Duerden on Erik Thohir, the man who Fiver readers have proven is about the seventh most unlikely-sounding Indonesian, and exactly why he has bought Inter.

Oh, and if it's your thing, you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace.

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'I DON'T STARE AT WATER ANY MORE, WATER DOESN'T DO WHAT IT DID BEFORE'Scott Murray
theguardian.com © 2013 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds

The Joy of Six: football greats who never made the World Cup

From Alfredo di Stéfano's repeated failures to George Weah's stand-alone efforts, half a dozen legends who missed out

1) Alfredo Di Stéfano (Argentina, Colombia and Spain)

In those interminable lists ranking football's greatest-ever players Pelé, Diego Maradona and Johan Cruyff regularly grab the top three berths. More often than not, traipsing behind them in fourth spot, is Alfredo di Stefano. Now Sir Bobby Charlton has Di Stéfano pegged as the greatest - "He's the best I ever saw" - and who would argue with the world's most reasonable man, a chap who, if he has not played with the greats or against them, has been around long enough to see pretty much the lot and therefore knows what he's talking about? Nobody, that's who! But of course the Blond Arrow never shatters the glass ceiling and it's no secret why: unlike the Big Three he never played at a World Cup.

Circumstances conspired against him. The Argentinian genius wasn't getting a wage commensurate with his ability as a young man at home. Then again, nobody was, which was why everyone went out on strike, setting off a chain of events which allowed those running the new cash-rich Colombian league to cherry pick the world's talent and to hell with existing Fifa legislation. In 1949 Di Stéfano, already an Argentinian international, left River Plate for Millonarios, and was soon turning out for Colombia. This state of affairs effectively ruled him out of both the 1950 and 1954 World Cups, whichever way he turned. Argentina withdrew from the former and did not even put in their entry form for the latter. Colombia, meanwhile, withdrew from the former and were banned from the latter. Fifa, for good measure, also banned Di Stéfano for playing for Argentina anyway, on account of him turning out for Colombia. What a merry puddle.

The situation resolved itself when Di Stéfano went to Real Madrid in 1953 and eventually declared for Spain. (There is simply no point trying to second guess Fifa's baroque/surreal rulings during this period in football's history, you may as well just go with it.) The Spanish, with a forward line also boasting Barcelona and Real Madrid stars Laszlo Kubala, Luis Suárez and Francisco Gento, would surely get to the 1958 finals in Sweden, wouldn't they? Especially as they were drawn in a qualifying group with Scotland – whose team included players from Clyde, Charlton Athletic, Blackpool and second-tier rabble Liverpool – and minnows Switzerland.

But no. Spain opened their campaign scrappily with a 2-2 draw at home to the Swiss, then went to Hampden and capitulated. Here's the story of the match, cribbed from an earlier Joy of Six, and yes we have come to this:

A confident Scotland – who had to do without Alex Parker of Falkirk, the full-back having taken ill as a result of jabs given to him by the army – started strongly. Jackie Mudie opened the scoring after 22 minutes, Scotland giving the Spanish woodwork a thorough examination. Sammy Baird of Rangers hit the post, forcing keeper Antoni Ramallets to clear for a corner. From the set piece Mudie hit the crossbar but then headed home the rebound. Kubala bundled home a scrappy equaliser four minutes later but Scotland regained the lead just before half-time when Tommy Ring of Clyde was bullied by the not-so-wee Ferran Olivella of Barcelona; John Hewie smacked home the resulting penalty.

Spain upped their game, turning the screw with some "unceremonious tackling", according to the Guardian, but no little skill as well: Di Stéfano released Suárez with a backheel for a second equaliser just after the restart. The Spanish attempted to assert their authority – Tommy Younger's hands were warmed by a stinger from Gento, Miguel González put the ball in the net from an offside position, and "the visitors again resorted to rough tackling" – but Mudie scored again on 70 minutes after Bobby Collins had ripped the Spanish back line apart, and the Blackpool striker completed his hat-trick with 10 minutes remaining, tiki-taka-ing in pretty triangles with Gordon Smith before securing the victory.

Di Stéfano and Kubala both scored twice in the return fixture in Madrid, a 4-1 belting, but the damage had been done, and the Scots progressed. Time was running out for Di Stéfano, who would have been a month short of his 32nd birthday at the 1958 World Cup. Spain made it to the 1962 finals in Chile, and Di Stéfano went with the squad, back to South America. But he was carrying an injury and did not see a single minute of action – and so the greatest player of all time (copyright Sir Bobby) would never grace the greatest stage of all. Ah well, five European Cups on the bounce is n-ot the worst legacy.

2) Laszlo Kubala (Czechoslovakia, Hungary and Spain)

As the Di Stéfano story conclusively proves, international football was about a thousand times more interesting when players were allowed to flit between countries willy-nilly. Here's Laszlo Kubala, born in Budapest, who moved to Czechoslovakia to avoid military service, played six times for his adopted nation, returned to Hungary to avoid turning out in uniform for the Czechoslovakians, played three times for the country of his birth, and then – just as the Golden Team was getting ready to shine – chipped off to Spain in order to escape the yoke of communism.

The Hungarian FA, in a fit of hot pique, accused Kubala of stealing vast sums of money from his Budapest-based club side Vasas, suspended him for life, and in his absence sentenced him to a stretch in the clink for fraud. In some docket or other filed with Fifa, Hungary's mandarins accused him of being "a depraved and immoral individual, who leads a debauched life". Fifa, as is their wont, vacillated, allowing Barcelona to nip in and sign him. Whether Kubala had made off from Hungary with a bag of cash was never ascertained, but in fairness to the Hungarian FA, they at least had the debauched bit down pat. Kubala had made plans to sign for Real Madrid - he had been spotted playing for a troupe of touring exiles called Hungaria - but, all pissed up on booze, got on the wrong train and ended up in Barcelona. That'll do!

Kubala threw his lot in with Spain. He hoped to make it to the 1954 World Cup, but Spanish qualification ended in farce. They needed to get past Turkey, and won 4-1 at home, but lost the away leg 1-0. With the concept of aggregate goals still beyond Fifa's ken, a play-off was necessary. Ten minutes before the game kicked off in neutral Rome, a Fifa delegate stormed into the changing room and insisted that Kubala was ineligible, on account of having played for Hungary and Czechoslovakia. After a trenchant debate which generated more heat than light, Kubala agreed to keep his civvies on. Spain could only draw 2-2, then lost a subsequent drawing of lots. Turkey went to Switzerland, while hot steam parped from every human aperture in the Spanish camp. Kubala suggested Fifa hadn't wanted to risk his facing media darlings Hungary at a tournament the Golden Team were expected to win; Fifa responded by flatly denying they'd sent a man to the changing room ahead of the ill-fated play-off, because they simply didn't care what happened either way.

All very strange. Four years later, as we've already heard, Spain cocked up qualification again. By the time Spain made it in 1962, Kubala had retired and his chance had gone the way Di Stéfano's was about to. Kubala was to enjoy a little consolation, mind: he took Spain to the finals as a coach in 1978, though his team didn't make it through the first-round group.

3) George Best (Northern Ireland)

George Best would refer to international soccer as "recreational football", a reference to the fact he was never likely to make as much of a mark with Northern Ireland as he did with the altogether less wee Manchester United. It's a partial rewriting of history. He never made it to a major finals, yes, though it's often forgotten now that he probably should have, Northern Ireland passing up a gilt-edged chance to make it to the 1966 tournament.

Drawn in a group with Holland (yet to get their act together), Albania and the amateurs of Switzerland, Northern Ireland only needed to win in Albania in their last game to force a play-off with the part-time Swiss. Albania had lost their other five matches, scoring only one goal while letting in 12. "The only danger that manager Bertie Peacock and his players seem to face is a surfeit of hospitality," previewed the Guardian, "for the skill of Best, now in his most impish mood, Derek Dougan's strength, and Jimmy McIlroy's promptings should open up the gallant Albanian defence."

Open it up they did, after dominating a goalless first half in which Dougan hit the bar, on 55 minutes through Willie Irvine of Burnley. But despite Best putting in an "outstanding" performance, that would not be enough. Medin Zhega equalised for Albania five minutes later. Mexhit Haxhiu then hit a post, inches away from a winner that would really have put the tin lid on it. Switzerland went to the finals, where they were beaten by Spain, Argentina and West Germany, a young Franz Beckenbauer ripping their midfield to shreds.

The Northern Irish were confident of righting wrongs four years later in the 1970 qualifiers. "I think we shall qualify all right," announced part-time boss Billy Bingham, having started with back-to-back wins over Turkey, and preparing to host the other team in the group, the USSR. "I have a healthy respect for the Russians ... but things there are not as good as they were in the past." But in front of a packed Windsor Park, Best was "subdued" and headed away "a chance which normally he would never miss". The 0-0 draw wasn't enough. Best was injured ahead of the return fixture in Moscow a month later - the IFA were furious that Manchester United had played him ahead of their big game, accusing everyone concerned of "scandalously" breaking an agreement to rest him – and the Soviets won 2-0.

There would be one half-arsed tilt at the big time 12 years later, when Bingham briefly considered adding a 36-year-old Best to his squad for the 1982 finals. A plan for the player to leave San Jose Earthquakes and join Middlesbrough, where he would get his chops back up to European speeds, fell through, and Bingham quietly dropped the idea. Best's name would have to remain on this exclusive list, where at least he will forever be in good company.

4) Bernd Schuster (West Germany)

The 20-year-old Bernd Schuster wasted little time in making his mark on the international scene. Jupp Derwall brought him into the West Germany team for the second match of the Euro '80 finals, and the Cologne prodigy did not faff about. Against Holland, in a group game which was effectively a winner-takes-all grab for the final, Schuster repeatedly troubled the Dutch by pelting towards them at speed and with much determination from the right. He battered a shot onto the post, Klaus Allofs scoring an opener from the rebound. Popping on the playmaker's titfer at a jaunty angle, he set Hansi Muller free to set up Allofs for a second. Finally he bustled to the byline and pulled one back for Allofs to complete his hat-trick. Holland pulled a couple of goals back late on, but it wasn't enough. Germany were on the verge of their third European Championship final in a row.

They got there after a 0-0 draw with Greece (Schuster was dropped so he couldn't pick up a second yellow that would see him out of the final against Belgium). In the big match, Schuster set up the opening goal again, this time for Horst Hrubesch. Germany won 2-1. A European champion at 20, Schuster's international future looked bright. But he wasn't the sort to suffer fools gladly. At the start of the following season, he fell out with his club coach Karl-Heinz Heddergott. "I cannot work with this amateur," was the young man's gloriously dismissive appraisal of his boss. Schuster toyed with the idea of joining the New York Cosmos in the North American Soccer League – "It is far too early, you will be spoiled," warned 35-year-old Franz Beckenbauer, who was leaving the Cosmos for Hamburg (where, as an aside, he'd win a valedictory Bundesliga title) – but eventually decided to move to Barcelona instead.

A wise move, though the episode caused a rift between Schuster and Derwall, who temporarily dropped the midfielder from the West German squad and vowed never to pick him if he chose to fritter away his career playing "operetta football" in the USA. The following year, after a friendly against Brazil, Schuster refused to go to a post-match party hosted by Hansi Muller on the socially reasonable grounds that he didn't like him. Derwall, in attendance and half cut, phoned Schuster to deliver another bollocking and once again revoke his DFB privileges. Derwall was always likely to backtrack with the 1982 World Cup coming up, but it would prove academic: Schuster damaged knee ligaments in late 1981 and could not recover in time for Spain. But would he have responded to any conciliatory approach anyway? If the events of 1986 are anything to go by – when the new West German manager Beckenbauer put out futile feelers to entice him to Mexico – you'd have to assume the chances weren't particularly high.

5) Gunnar Nordahl (Sweden)

It takes some effort to beat the Scottish FA in the pastime of shooting yourself in the foot, but the shower in charge of the Swedish game managed it ahead of the 1950 World Cup. The Scots, you will remember, weren't at that tournament, having priggishly turned down an invitation to compete as they'd come behind England in the British Home Championship that year. Incomprehensible idiocy, though at least you can say they saved on travel expenses. The Swedes travelled all the way to Brazil off the back of winning the 1948 Olympics, but not before vandalising their own team first. Their three great inside-forwards, Gunnar Gren, Gunnar Nordahl and Nils Liedholm, had all signed professional contracts with Milan, a move which sealed their fate with the Swedish mandarins, who insisted the national team was to be staffed purely by home-based amateurs. Bye, Gre-No-Li! Bye, chances of winning the World Cup!

Sweden made it to the final pool regardless, where they were thrashed by a tails-up Brazil, narrowly lost to eventual champions Uruguay, and beat Spain. Given the ability of Nordahl alone - he had scored 43 goals in his 33 appearances for Sweden, netted 35 times in the 1949/50 Serie A season, and a year later would, along with Gren and Liedholm, lead the rossoneri to their first scudetto in 44 years - you have to wonder at the sheer scale of the opportunity the Swedish FA passed up here.

Gren had Nordahl down as one of the all-time greats: "He scored tap-ins and spectacular goals. He would sneak into positions that others would not know existed. He was one of the best players there has ever been, and in my opinion one of the best goalscorers." But Nordahl was unable to time a run to the 1958 finals, which Sweden hosted. Their FA broke with tradition to ensure the team was stocked with the best talent around. Good news for Gren, 37, and Liedholm, 35, both of whom were still going. But the 36-year-old Nordahl had just hung up his boots. Sweden still made the final, in which they briefly led the Brazil of Pelé and Garrincha. Another what if, then. Sweden, and Nordahl, are two in the holewith those.

6) George Weah (Liberia)

One of the greatest African players of all time, George Weah was, like his namesake Best before him, hamstrung in World Cup terms by hailing from a global minnow. The Liberian flag is an ersatz version of the USA's Stars and Stripes, a nod to the country's constitutional foundation by freed American slaves. Their version's not quite so spangled, mind you; there's only one star on it. That lone star would later give the country's national football team a nickname, and in turn offer a simple metaphor for Weah's status within an otherwise unspectacular team.

A World Cup finals appearance for the Lone Stars and their lone star was always a long shot, though they gave it a good go twice. In the qualifiers for 1990, Weah set Liberia on their way through the first round, scoring the opening goal in a knockout rubber against Ghana. They came up just short in the second group stage, stuttering at the business end, losing to a single George Onyango goal in Kenya, then drawing in Malawi. Egypt progressed in their stead, and made it through a final play-off to Italy.

Liberia went even closer in 2002, but again they didn't quite have enough energy for the final push. A jittery 2-1 home defeat to Ghana - a team they had already beaten 3-1 away from home - put Nigeria in charge of their qualifying group going into the final round of games. Weah personally kept hopes alive with the only goal in a victory in Sierra Leone, but the Nigerians trounced the Ghanaians 3-0 to pip the Lone Stars by a lone point. Weah would have to make do with titles in Italy and France, the Ballon d'Or, a Fifa World Player of the Year award, and the most preposterous goal in Serie A history. Like Di Stéfano, Kubala, Best, Schuster and Nordahl before him, the CV still reads pretty damn good, and after all, it wasn't actually the end of the world, was it?

George BestWorld CupScott Murray
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Football transfer rumours: Mario Balotelli or Radamel Falcao to Chelsea?

Today's gossip would rather be a sub-editor at the Courier-Mail

Morning! Now that everyone doesn't like cricket any more, it's incumbent on the world of football to step up to the plate and cheer the country up on this miserable Friday.

Unfortunately, today's rumours are uniformly dreadful. Sorry! Can't whisk confections out of the ether for the likes of you just because Jonathan Trott keeps shuffling too far across his wicket. Manchester United have been linked with Benfica defender Ezequiel Garay and Valencia midfielder Éver Banega. A steady enough start, you'd have thought. But you'd have thought wrong.

Chelsea are interested in Mario Balotelli, but he's not bothered, so they'll have to make do with Radamel Falcao of Monaco. OK, still time to regroup, but this is the Rumour Mill equivalent of Ian Bell coming in to bat.

West Ham United are interested in buying Diego Forlán and Jermain Defoe. Ian Bell and Matt Prior, like we say.

Everton are in for Spartak Moscow winger Aiden McGeady again. Six wickets!

Internazionale and Napoli are interested in Southampton's Gastón Ramírez. In 25 balls!

Vancouver Whitecaps striker Kenny Miller is thinking about rejoining Rangers. For nine runs!

Bah.

Luckily, that's stumps!

ChelseaScott Murray
theguardian.com © 2013 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds

World Cup play-offs and internationals: 10 things we learned

Cristiano Ronaldo comes to the fore, France's 16% make quite a noise and England will travel to Brazil with no more than hope
• The best XI not going to Brazil

1) Individualists ready to break out in Brazil?

Is there something in the air? Cristiano Ronaldo and Zlatan Ibrahimovic both lived up to the hype in Stockholm, spectacularly so, and there's something that doesn't happen in overcooked modern football all that often. Their determination to wring every last desperate drop from their talent, in the hope of dragging their team single-handedly to the World Cup finals, was a joy to behold. More of this, please! Could it be that a few of this generation's great individualists have decided the time is right to break ranks, shake off the tactical shackles, and stamp their name all over the 2014 finals? It's statistically viable, if nothing else. The last two tournaments have been all about great teamplay, while a harsh observer – sorry Zizou, apologies Original Ronaldo – might argue that there hasn't been a truly great one-month one-man residency at a finals since Roberto Baggio nearly took Italy all the way in 1994. Poor Zlatan – thanks for the memories, big man – won't get the chance to do his thing in Brazil, but plenty of others of his ilk might: Ronaldo, Messi, Neymar, Balotelli and Suárez are just a few capable of making a saucy grab for a place in the pantheon alongside Maradona, Pele, Cruyff and Garrincha, if they can just hit a purple patch at the right time. Is this asking too much? Are these boots too big to fill? If so, we'll not be greedy. If one man can't sustain it for the entire month, we'll settle for 50 or so matches like the one served up by Sweden and Portugal instead. That'll do! SM

• Read the match report: Sweden 2-3 Portugal (2-4 agg)
• Ibrahimovic: World Cup without me not worth watching

2) 16% can make a lot of noise

The pre-match polls weren't exactly optimistic – 61% didn't think France could do it; of those asked "Do you continue to support Les Bleus in spite of everything?" 84% said 'Non'. But those predictions – all entirely scientific of course – of supporter apathy were confounded from the first minute at the Stade de France. From the off the noise was thunderous and the home side rode those roars of support all the way to Brazil, overcoming Ukraine in impressive fashion. Mathieu Valbuena's set-pieces were crucial and led, after a fashion, to both of Mamadou Sakho's goals. The defender will most likely be on the bench for the Merseyside derby at the weekend – a nice way to bring him back down to earth. If Didier Deschamps can get his team playing way the way they did on Tuesday night in Brazil, then they'll be a threat to anyone. That's a rather large "if", though. JA

• Read the report: France 3-0 Ukraine (3-2 agg)

3) England will travel to Brazil in hope alone

England have long since mastered the art of following encouragement with backwards steps but the two taken in the home losses to Chile and now Germany have painted a stark picture for the World Cup finals. There was little of attacking note against Chile last Friday and absolutely nothing on target against the Germans. [Memo to Roy: shots that hit the post are off target.] There were age-old failings in the predictability of the football while defensive sloppiness handed Germany the initiative. They did not look back after Per Mertesacker's flashing header. After the triumphs against Montenegro and Poland (neither of whom is ranked in Fifa's top 50), it was difficult to escape the notion that when Hodgson's England encounter the better teams, handwringing comes as standard. DH

• Read the match report: England 0-1 Germany
• Hodgson: quality was not what I expected from team
• Gallery: Tom Jenkins's best match images from Wembley
• Owen Gibson: are England really better than in 2010?

4) Mitroglou gives Greece a cutting edge

Greece's triumph at Euro 2004 came as a complete shock to most and in subsequent years has been held up as a model for any team looking to bore their way to success on the big stage. Goals, it is fair to say, are not the Greeks' strong point and it came as no major surprise when they finished as the joint-lowest scorers of all the teams that came second in the European qualification groups for next summer's World Cup. Yet, in the play-offs, Fernando Santos's men showed they have the potential to play with a ruthless swagger, putting four past Romania across two legs, with Konstantinos Mitroglou getting three. The striker is in great form at club-level, too, having scored four hat-tricks for Olympiakos already this season – including one against Anderlecht in the Champions League – and the 25-year-old, who has supposedly attracted interest from Internazionale, Arsenal and Liverpool, could provide Greece with a rare and thrilling cutting edge in Brazil next year. SN

• Read the match report: Romania 1-1 Greece (2-4 aggregate)

5) Scotland are definitely prospering under Strachan

It wasn't pretty and it may not have been deserved, but Scotland's 1-0 victory over Norway in Molde capped a more than encouraging calender year for the national side under the charge of Gordan Strachan. His tenure began with a 1-0 victory over Estonia at Pittodrie in February and has subsequently taken in two victories against Croatia, a win in Macedonia and a stirring display in defeat to England at Wembley three months ago. In contrast, the displays against Norway and, last Friday, the United States, were less than inspiring, and some critics would suggest harked back to the dark days of Craig Levein's time in charge of the national team, but the difference now is that Scotland are going into games thinking they can win as opposed to expecting to lose, and the fact they can win when not playing great bodes well ahead of the qualification campaign for Euro 2016. The last major international tournament Scotland featured in was France '98; could their next appearance take place in the same country? SN

• Read the match report: Norway 0-1 Scotland

6) Mandzukic joins the card clowns

Mario Mandzukic: you berk. After giving your country a precious lead against Iceland and virtually securing your passage to Brazil, you went and perpetrated an absurdly brutal foul on Johann Gudmundsson, placing his leg and your ticket in severe jeopardy. Gudmundsson was OK and so were Croatia, who even managed to increase their lead but now you, Mario, may not even get to play in the World Cup that you so violently wanted to reach. A three-game suspension looks likely and Croatia getting out of their group does not. Now, whenever we consider the dumbest cards of all time, we must think of yours, Mario, along with Wayne Rooney's infamous red one against Montenegro, Louis Saha's yellow card in the 2006 World Cup semi-final against Portugal, when he was introduced with just five minutes to go and managed to perform a ludicrous scissors-tackle on Maniche to pick up the caution that ruled him out of the final and, not sinister but still very stupid, Claudio Cannigia's bizarre booking in the 1990 semi-final, when he deliberately handled the ball for no apparent reason on the half-way line and, as a result, was suspended for the final. Mario Mandzukic: you berk. PD

• Read the match report: Croatia 2-0 Iceland (2-0 agg)

7) Honda has the potential to be big news in Brazil

Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Robin van Persie, Wayne Rooney, Radamel Falcao, Luis Suárez, Neymar … Keisuke Honda. It is fair to say that in discussions centring on which individuals might light up the World Cup the Japan midfielder does not get much of a mention, yet he is undoubtedly a player in form and in possession of the skills to catch the eye next summer. Honda has excelled as CSKA Moscow's playmaker, so much so that Milan have secured a deal for the 27-year-old's services that will see him move to San Siro in January, and his two goals in Japan's 3-2 victory over Belgium on Tuesday, allied to the one he scored in the 2-2 draw with Holland on Saturday, showed that he can do it against the very best international sides, albeit in friendlies. Honda is unlikely to be the star of Brazil 2014 but he could nevertheless impress a global audience. SN

• Look through all of the latest international football results

8) Colombia should not be discounted next summer

Brazil and Argentina are, yet again, the South American nations expected to make the greatest impact at next year's finals but it would be foolish to completely overlook Colombia. José Pékerman's side finished second in the Conmebol qualification group, just two points behind Argentina (the country of Pékerman's birth), sit fourth in Fifa's world rankings and in beating Belgium and drawing with Holland in their last two matches, have displayed the potential to compete with the very best sides from Europe. Then there is the fact that, all being well, Colombia's squad for the World Cup will contain the likes of Radamel Falcao, James Rodríguez, Jackson Martínez and Fredy Guarín. Boring, they are not. SN

9) Rock on a roll

The bedrock of Gibraltar's economy is made up of online bookmakers and how those bloodsuckers must have cackled late into the night when the territory's team marked its debut as a Uefa member by holding Slovakia to a 0-0 draw. A proper coupon-buster. The match was played in the 30,000-capacity Estadio Algarve, which will also be used for the team's European Championship qualifiers and was close to 2% full for Tuesday night's historic occasion. The few hundred observers got to marvel at a solid rearguard action led by the 34-year-old international debutant Danny Higginbotham and they would even have been able to cheer a winning goal if a cross by Farsley Athletic's Adam Priestly had been deflected into the net rather than the arms of the Slovakian goalkeeper. The result gives strength to Gibraltar's claims that, though smaller, they are better than some of Europe's other minnows, but does it do anything to change the minds of people who said there was no good point to them being allowed to exist in Uefa? PD

• James Riach: Gibraltar keen to make Uefa impact

10) Home sweet home could see Spain return to their best

A strange few days, then, for Spain as they deservedly lost to South Africa in Johannesburg on Tuesday having laboured they way to a narrow victory over Equatorial Guinea in Malabo last Friday. There is no need for the World and European holders to panic, of course, but one has to wonder if sheer fatigue resulting from travelling long distances to compete in friendly matches is playing a part in the subsequent, substandard displays. Their next match is a friendly against Italy in Madrid next March – home surroundings allied to a four-month break could well see La Roja return to their very best. SN

• The inside story of La Roja's historic treble – extract

World CupWorld Cup 2014FriendliesFranceEnglandJapanSpainGibraltarCroatiaColombiaScotlandGreeceScott MurrayJohn AshdownDavid HytnerSachin NakraniPaul Doyle
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Sweden v Portugal – as it happened | Scott Murray

Minute-by-minute report: It was billed as Ibrahimovic versus Ronaldo, and the star pairing delivered. Zlatan scored two, but Cristiano was the hat-trick hero who sent his country to Brazil. Scott Murray was watching

Scott Murray

England v Chile – as it happened | Scott Murray

Minute-by-minute report: Alexis Sanchez scored at the start, then at the end, as Chile outclassed England at Wembley. Scott Murray was watching

Scott Murray

The Joy of Six: World Cup qualifying near misses | Scott Murray

From the Republic of Ireland in 1958 to Trinidad and Tobago in 1990, via a stunned Argentina, Belgian heartbreak and more

1) Republic of Ireland (1958)

Here's some typical Football Association forward planning for you. Had the 1957 FA Cup final between Aston Villa and Manchester United ended in a draw, the replay would have been held five days later at Goodison Park. All good and well, except that England were slated to play the Republic of Ireland at Wembley in the qualifiers for the World Cup a day before that. Villa captain Pat Saward, plus Roger Byrne, Duncan Edwards, Tommy Taylor and Liam Whelan of United, all potentially faced two momentous matches in 24 hours at the end of a gruelling season. Did anyone actually think about that? They didn't bother thinking about it, did they.

No matter, Villa won 2-1, no double for United but trebles all round at Lancaster Gate. On to Wednesday evening, then, the first-ever World Cup qualifying match at Wembley, England's route to the 1950 and 1954 finals having technically been British Home Championship games. The hosts were the hot favourites, and so it proved, England running out easy 5-1 winners.

Ireland goalkeeper Alan Kelly was good enough to later turn out at Wembley for Preston in the 1964 FA Cup final, but here, on his 20th birthday and an inexperienced Drumcondra player, he had a nightmare. Taylor was his chief tormentor, although Kelly couldn't remember the United star's hat-trick goal. "I came to collect a corner kick by Tom Finney," he recalled. "I got both hands on the ball and the next thing I remember was sitting in the back of the net being helped up by Noel Cantwell. All the white shirts were streaming back towards the halfway line, so I thought I would ask the obvious question. 'Was it a goal?' I asked Cantwell. 'Yes son, and next time you come for a cross, get your knees up.'"

The only plus point for the Irish, other than their consolation goal from Bristol City's Dermot Curtis, was that they had at long last been given a set of official tracksuits by the FAI. (Roy Keane's complaints are nothing new.) There was also a little scrap of schadenfreude to be savoured, for even if England now had one foot in the finals, they were not considered good enough to win the tournament. "It is doubtful whether the present team, assuming that it gets so far, will get much more out of a trip to Sweden than a pleasant flight and a summer outing," wrote Donny Davies in this paper (one particular phrase sending a chill through the blood in retrospect). "They are not likely to meet many European or South American teams with such inadequate performers in goal and at centre-half."

But there was still hope for the Irish. Given they had already beaten the third team in the group, Denmark, at home, and were expected to do a similar job away, any victory against England in the return fixture at Dalymount Park 11 days later was likely to force a playoff, goal difference counting for nix at the time. Ireland made two significant changes, Tommy Godwin of Bournemouth taking over in goal – he had been the man between the sticks when Ireland famously became the first foreign team to defeat England on home soil in 1949 – while 21-year-old Millwall prospect Charlie Hurley made his debut at the back. Godwin made several stunning saves, most notably from Bristol City's Peter Ateyo, David Pegg and Taylor, while Hurley was a revelation, keeping Taylor otherwise quiet for the entire game.

Up the other end, England were being bossed. Sheffield United's Alf Ringstead put Ireland ahead on three minutes with a low shot through a crowded box. Fellow dashing Blade Alan Hodgkinson twice dived at full length to turn away volleys by Middlesbrough's Arthur Fitzsimons. Joe Haverty of Arsenal missed a sitter. Whelan one-two'd with Ringstead but fluffed his lines. Ireland made it into injury time, but Tom Finney blazed past Saward down the right and centred for Ateyo, who headed home to plunge Dublin into silence. Listen to the RTE audio: you can almost hear commentator Philip Greene's heart drop on to the floor with a dull thump. Has inner despair ever been more clearly captured in amber?

England had made it at Ireland's expense, though as the Manchester Guardian's Davies noted, "her players put up a sorry performance. England was not merely outplayed, she was outclassed, and no one realises this more clearly or lugubriously than the gentlemen who have the responsibility of producing a team to compete in Sweden." England were fated to perform badly at the finals, though some fates pale into insignificance when compared with others. Five of the players on the pitch that day, plus the Guardian's man, would not live to see the following year's World Cup.

2) Italy (1958)

The Italian national team had a hard time of it for quite a while after the war. The 1948 Superga crash, which wiped out Torino, effectively did for the Azzurri too. A depleted team made their way to Brazil for the 1950 World Cup, but only by boat, understandably fearful of air travel. Knackered and unfit coming off the ship, they almost immediately got themselves knocked out. They travelled home by plane.

The 1954 tournament in Switzerland ended abruptly with a 4-1 trouncing at the hands of the hosts. Chile in 1962 was all about the shame of Santiago, though that was nothing on the humiliation North Korea heaped on them in 1966. After which the team won Euro 68 and made it to the final of the 1970 World Cup. All better, then, but by lord those two decades were quite the haul.

Despite that 20-year nadir, Italy only failed to qualify for the World Cup once. (They've made it to all the others with the exception of the very first one in 1930, a jamboree they didn't bother to attend, in a fit of pique at being looked over for hosting duties in favour of Uruguay.) The sole blemish on their qualification record came in the 1958 series when their side – containing Uruguay's 1950 stars Juan Alberto Schiaffino and Alcides Ghiggia – were bundled out of the competition by a formidable Northern Ireland team not short of a few decently sized names itself in Danny Blanchflower, Harry Gregg and Peter McParland.

The manner of Italy's exit was nothing short of farcical. The teams were due to play the decisive qualifier at Windsor Park in early December 1957. A victory for the Irish would send them through; Italy needed a draw to put them in a position where a home win in their final game over a dismal Portugal would fire them to the finals in Sweden instead. But referee Istvan Zsolt had been held up en route from Hungary to Belfast by fog in London, and only a local official could be found to replace him. Five minutes before kick-off, it was announced that the game would only be a friendly, causing much bristling in the crowd who, according to the Guardian, seemed "unlikely to forget what they considered to be the intractability of the Italians over match arrangements and left no doubt that they felt they should have agreed to a British referee". Aye, right you are.

And in fairness, the Italians had a point. Their keeper Ottavio Bugatti was knocked from pillar to post by the likes of McParland, who had form for this sort of nonsense, as those who recall the last FA Cup final would testify. In the final minute of a 2-2 draw, Guiseppe Chiapella leapt at McParland after one charge too many, and was sent off. Not that the Italians had been saints themselves, mind, Chiapella, Schiaffino and Rino Ferrario all taking turns to throw hands in the determined style. At the final whistle, thousands of spectators flooded the field of play with a view to raising Cain. Ferrario was sent crashing to the floor and had to be carted back to the dressing room unconscious.

As it transpired, that result would have been enough for the Italians, who went on to beat Portugal 3-0 before Christmas. But decisions are decisions, and they were forced to go again. In the New Year, the replayed qualifier in Belfast was played, and the Irish stormed into a two-goal lead by half-time, Jimmy McIlroy and Wilbur Cush with the goals. Dino Da Costa bundled one back for Italy shortly after the break, but the ghig was up for Italy when Ghiggia, of all folk, was sent off with 25 minutes to go for a physical disagreement with Alf McMichael. Ireland were through, Italy were out, and what an end to a World Cup career for poor Ghiggia, the man who scored the most dramatic and far-reaching goal the tournament has ever seen.

3) Argentina (1970)

Around the time of the qualifiers for the 1970 World Cup, Argentinian football was suffering from something of an image problem. Antonio Rattin's debating forum at Wembley. Racing Club hoofing Celtic all over the park. Estudiantes slicing Bobby Charlton's leg into red ribbons. The national team manager, Humberto Maschio, was best known internationally for his antics as a player at the 1962 World Cup when, playing as a naturalised Italian, he ran about the pitch throwing haymakers willy-nilly during the infamous Battle of Santiago against Chile. On the final whistle that day, he offered opponent Honorindo Landa his hand in friendship. When the two were shaking, Maschio took the opportunity to clatter Landa's jaw with his free southpaw. Honor indeed.

Maschio was sacked just before the qualifiers, although much good it did the team's mood or reputation. They were battered 3-1 in Bolivia in their first game, and competed so roughly that the Argentinian dictator General Ongania was forced to order the squad to simmer down. (Ongania would later throw the entire Estudiantes team in the clink for acting up during an Intercontinental Cup brouhaha against Milan.) While the team's behaviour improved, their overall play did not, and Argentina lost their next match 1-0 in Peru.

After a restorative one-goal win at home over Bolivia, the stage was set for a showdown against Peru at Boca Juniors' Bombonera stadium. A win would salvage the campaign, forcing a playoff with the Peruvians. Problem was, Peru were a team on the up – Teofilo Cubillas was only 20 but already very much the real deal – while Argentina were heading in the other direction, sorely missing several stars of the great 1966 team in Oscar Mas, Luis Artime and everyone's favourite midfield-didact Rattin.

Thanks to some inspired goalkeeping from Luis Rubinos, Peru held out until half-time, after which they decided to fly at their hosts. Oswaldo 'Cachito' Ramirez zipped down the inside-left channel and whipped Peru's opening goal into the bottom right on 52 minutes. Rafael Joes Albrecht equalised with an Aldridgesque stuttering penalty on 78, but the die was cast only three minutes later, as Ramirez drifted from the left wing to the right-hand edge of the D before drawing Agustin Cejas in the Argentinian goal and disdainfully flicking into the left-hand side of the net. A glorious goal. Alberto Rendo's late equaliser set up a tense finale, but though Argentina were inexplicably given seven minutes of injury-time – virtually unheard of in those days – they couldn't find a way through. Peru were off to Mexico, while the humiliated giants of Argentina could have been forgiven for thinking that they were paying back some sort of antics-assessed karmic debt.

4) Belgium (1974)

Plenty had been expected of Belgium at the 1970 World Cup. A fast and skilful team – their star men the Anderlecht trio of Paul Van Himst, Johan Devrindt and Wilfried Puis – had done for Spain and Yugoslavia in qualifying. And though they started the tournament with odds of 33-1, their opponents were paying no heed to the bookies. "The ball is round and everyone has the same chance," said group rival USSR coach Gavril Kachalin, who it was reported had a "healthy respect" for the Belgians. But the team didn't really turn up. Hugh McIlvanney in the Observer referred to their "pallid indifference". The Soviets beat them 4-1. They went home after the first round.

The Belgians stepped up to the plate in the next major tournament, though, putting out the holders Italy to reach the semi-finals of the European Championship. They lost 2-1 at home to West Germany, a disappointment but hardly a disgrace: the Germans were not long after posting their signature victory against England at Wembley in the quarters, while their two-goal slayer, Gerd Muller, was in the middle of a run which saw him score 85 goals in the calendar year. The Guardian reported that "some of the best shooting came from Leon Semmeling and Van Himst", while "a most valiant attempt to prise open this German side" was made with "wave after wave of Belgian attacks often from six men" breaking around the new Euro champs elect. They gave it a go.

As it turned out, that would be this particular vintage's signature achievement – the national side's true glory days were still a decade in the post – but they were close enough to making another big mark on world football the following year. Belgium were drawn in a 1974 World Cup qualifying group with the fast-emerging Holland. Both sides put away the other group members, Iceland and Norway, without much fuss, but the Dutch ran up a couple of big scores – 9-0 against Norway, 8-1 in Iceland – which gave them a vastly superior goal difference to Belgium. So when the Dutch scraped a lucky goalless draw in Antwerp in November 1972 – Jean Thissen hit a post for Belgium – they effectively only needed another draw when the teams met for the return in Amsterdam 364 days later.

Holland got their draw, but only just. Belgium sat back to soak up Dutch pressure for 89 minutes, then in classic rope-a-dope fashion, struck at the death. Van Himst sent a long free kick into the area. Piet Schrijvers flapped. And Jan Verheyen knocked it in. But despite being played on by three defenders, Verheyen was flagged for offside. Holland took their Total Football to the finals, while Belgium – who went through qualifying without conceding a single goal! – were out. (You can read more about the match in this typically magnificent feature from the Guardian's Joy of Bob series.)

How would Belgium have done at the finals? Well, who knows, but not badly at all, if friendlies during the run-up to the tournament are anything to go by: they drew 1-1 with Poland, who finished third in the tournament, and were victorious, 2-1, over Scotland, who might have been knocked out early doors as usual but came away unbeaten and having received good notices for once, to boot. Whether Belgium would have made it all the way to the final like the Dutch, en route changing the entire concept of soccer Totally, is probably a bit of a stretch. In any case, Holland made no mistake next time the teams met in a competitive fixture, Rob Rensenbrink (day job: Anderlecht, Brussels, Belgium) scoring a hat-trick in a 5-0 European Championship quarter-final win, the first humiliating leg of a 7-1 aggregate victory.

5) Trinidad and Tobago (1990)

In 2006, Trinidad and Tobago became the smallest nation ever to qualify for the World Cup finals. Iceland may nick off with that record in the next few days, it's true, but the Soca Warriors will always have Dortmund. We say this just in case it slipped the mind, because otherwise the hard-luck stories of 1974 and 1990 might be too much to bear.

Given that T&T made it to Germany, there's a pleasing symmetry to the story, which begins with them failing to reach West Germany's 1974 finals by a single point. The decisive match proved to be their visit to Haiti, a team Baby Doc Duvalier was giving close attention, the despot desperate for some reflected glory on the world stage. Baby Doc got his wish, with a little help from the referee, who disallowed not just one, but a remarkably brazen five Trinidad and Tobago goals in the game at Port-au-Prince.

Suspicious circumstances having been established, the Salvadorean referee and Canadian linesman were later banned by Fifa for life, but much good it did Trinidad and Tobago, as Haiti had the 2-1 win that propelled them towards the finals. As evidence of how good that Trinidad and Tobago side were, the match that actually rubber-stamped Haiti's participation in Germany was T&T's astonishing 4-0 win over regional behemoths Mexico.

Fast forward to 1989, and the chase for a place at the 1990 finals in Italy. The door was wide open in the Concacaf qualifiers, as Mexico had been banned for fielding over-age players in the World Youth Cup, and sleeping giants USA hadn't quite got their chops up yet. A young and exciting T&T team, nicknamed the Strike Squad, featured the upcoming talents of 21-year-old Russell Latapy and 18-year-old Dwight Yorke, players good enough to later win the English, Portuguese and Champions Leagues. Going into the last game, T&T only needed a draw in their last home match against the USA, and the Americans hadn't scored in 208 minutes.

The manager, as in 1973, was Ollie Camps, while his right-hand man Everald 'Gally' Cummings was one of the star men from that ill-fated qualification campaign. "The football we play rightly reflects the mood of our nation," explained Cummings before the game. "It's relaxed football, calypso football. I don't think we play any particular style, English or Brazilian. We have a Trinidad style, and we want to take calypso football to Italy."

As it turned out, T&T were far from relaxed. The game kicked off – church bells across the island celebrated this by pealing non-stop for three minutes – in front of a 35,000 crowd at the National Stadium in Port of Spain, with another 10,000 outside, desperately trying to squeeze in. The pressure was too much. The Strike Squad only got one strike on target all game. On 38 minutes, the USA's Paul Caligiuri sent a soft shot swerving past Trinidad keeper Michael Maurice from 25 yards. The dream was over. For another 16 years, anyway, until at the 2006 finals, T&T secured a brave draw with 10 men against Sweden, then held England for 82 minutes until … … Crouchy! How could you! So much for happy endings!

6) Denmark (1994)

It's often forgotten how close 1990 world champions West Germany came to missing that year's finals. They required a win in their final game against Wales to scrape through the qualifiers as one of Europe's best group runners-up: Malcolm Allen put the Welsh ahead in Cologne before Rudi Völler and Thomas Hassler turned it round for the 1982 and 1986 finalists.

Had they not managed it, Denmark would have made Italia 90 instead. In fact, as things transpired, due to the byzantine Uefa qualification calculations, Sepp Piontek's Danes could have made it independently, regardless of what Germany did. A draw in Romania in their final game would have been enough to make it at the expense of their hosts. But the famous Dynamite of Mexico '86 fame was fizzling out by 1989, and a 3-1 loss soaked the fuse.

Still, a close shave, though that was nothing compared to the heartbreak that would blow up in their faces four years later. By the time the 1994 finals were the focus, the Danish were the reigning European champions. They started the campaign slowly, with goalless draws in Latvia and Lithuania, then at home to the Republic of Ireland. Those results would eventually cost them, though it proved terribly close nevertheless. Going into the final round of games, Denmark were unbeaten, and had let in only one goal in 11 matches. A draw in Spain would see them through.

Problem was, Spain had long been Denmark's bogey team, having done for them at Euro 84, Mexico 86 and Euro 88. And so it wasn't to be. Spanish keeper Andoni Zubizarreta was sent off early on for cleaning out Michael Laudrup, but his replacement Santiago Canizares went on to have a stormer. Peter Schmeichel was egregiously blocked off as Fernando Hierro notched for Spain, and while the Laudrup-inspired Danes enjoyed nearly all of the possession, they couldn't get past the inspired Canizares.

Still there was hope, should Jack Charlton's Republic of Ireland fail to get a point in Belfast against their friends from the north. When Jimmy Quinn scored for Northern Ireland on 74 minutes, it looked on for Denmark, but Alan McLoughlin equalised for the Republic four minutes later. The draw secured, Charlton went under the stand at Windsor Park believing his side had reached the finals. "But when I got inside, the Spain game was still going on on the television," he later explained. "The guy asked me if I wanted to watch it. 'Do I bollocks!' I said. Then he touched me on the shoulder and said: 'Now will you look?' And I did, and it had finished 1-0."

Poor old Denmark. And poor old Michael Laudrup, the erstwhile Barcelona and Real Madrid star telling Rob Smyth, Lars Eriksen and Mike Gibbons in their upcoming sure-fire classic Danish Dynamite: The Story of Football's Greatest Cult Team: "Spanish football has given me so much in terms of club level and what I became. And it has taken so much from me with the national team."

World CupScott Murray
theguardian.com © 2013 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds

Norwich City v West Ham United – as it happened | Scott Murray

Minute-by-minute report: Norwich bounced back from an appalling first-half showing to swat West Ham aside brilliantly and bound out of the relegation zone. Scott Murray was watching.

Scott Murray