Let’s go back to the basic premise of NLP, which we briefly discussed at the beginning of the course. Alfred Korzybski proposed a map–territory analogy to encourage daily exploration of verbal “maps” (words), noting that these maps do not accurately describe what is happening in the “territory” (empirical world): “A map is not the territory it represents.” He used a familiar relationship between maps and territories so that we would remember when the territory (reality) changes, we need to update the map (language).

More recently, a researcher named C. Anton proposed that we are better served with the premise, “there is no territory”, because the territory (reality) consists of many maps. He argued, “Once we recognize how all maps, as part of the territory, are the means by which one part selectively releases and appropriates another part at different levels of abstraction, we no longer need to postulate that “reality” lies somehow “behind” and/or “beyond” our experiences and/or language.”

Saying the same thing from a different perspective, Wendell Johnson wrote: “The particular peepholes that define [our] outlook on the world become too small for [us] to see its large and exciting horizons.”

When we “abstract,” we select small portions of reality to attend to and leave out the rest. In the abstraction process, our senses and locations, not to mention previous training and experiences, limit what we encounter of all that is going on in the world. Bois created the acronym “WIGO” from the phrase “what is going on,” using it to represent “all known levels of existence, from atomic elements to galactic spirals racing away from one another.” In NLP, we use abstraction in the process of churning up or down (or sideways).

A teacher writes, “A a,” on the blackboard and explains the similarities and differences between the cases of this letter. For example, the teacher demonstrates the difference in pronunciation between the two cases. Once taught, it is up to the student to become competent in recognizing the visual, auditory, and kinesthetic components of the letter.

As a side note, you become competent at recognizing the kinesthetic components by writing out the letter. That task is dependent on but distinct from the visual component. In the process of becoming competent, the student should see each case as a “chunk.” Capital A and lowercase A are not identical, but they are conceptually more related than not. Once that chunking occurs and competency has been achieved, the student is ready to move onto “B-b” and the rest of the alphabet. This example illustrates the commonality of chunking. With NLP, we are also exposed to the power of chunking as well.

Research has found that, at any given moment, people are only able to structure and order information in five to nine chunks at a time. There are twenty-six letters in the English alphabet and double the number of cases. How does a child get from “A a” to “Z z?” As chunks become represented, stored, and habituated within our minds, they are transferred from the front of someone’s consciousness to the back of his or her mind. The conscious mind is supposed to keep a person sane and focused by filtering out most of the bits of information bombarding the individual, after all. It leaves room for the mind to register, “Z z.”

At an even more fundamental level, chunks themselves designate levels, or sometimes even logical levels, that order how people internally represent the world around them. Higher levels are more abstract than lower levels. For example, consider chairs. You have wooden ones. You have plastic ones. You have one in houses and one in offices. Nevertheless, due to their common form, all chairs are chucked together, and they form one level in that hierarchy of understanding. However, are chairs a part of any other level? They certainly are. One of those levels could be pieces of furniture. Pieces of furniture include chairs, but they also include tables and nightstands. All chairs are pieces of furniture, but not all pieces of furniture are chairs.

A further level of abstraction could be objects constructed by humans. A chair must have been built by people. A skyscraper must also have been built by people. These objects seem disparate out of context, but in the context of constructed objects, they have a common thread. Constructed objects may in turn be grouped under a much more general heading, such as material objects.

View more on Shlomo Vaknin's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on December 08, 2021 01:55

August 27, 2021

50 New Techniques

This book is an advanced, modern NLP manual for therapists and coaches who want to expand and update their use of Neuro Linguistic Programming. The concepts and methods I describe come from extensive experience in the field with a broad variety of clients. This book takes on three unique training challenges: First, to provide techniques in the context of the work. For example, the techniques are described in terms of how they link one phase of your work with the next; secondly, to provide very condensed techniques that target a very specific purpose and moment in the work; and… thirdly, to provide fundamental understandings about Neuro Linguistic Programming that will improve your ability to develop methods, customize your approach to the individual client, and improvise.

Table of Contents:

IntroductionEssential KnowledgeWhy isn’t NLP a Mainstream Approach?Fundamental Assumptions of NLPCBDRSensory Modalities or Representational SystemsReprocessingStrategiesModern EthicsCode of Ethics for NLP Practitioners and CoachesAdvanced NLP TechniquesIngredients and Typical EvolutionListen and observe:Holding AttentionPunctuationMatrixing in Problem Formulation and PlanningQuick Review: Meta-Programs and Meta-ModelMatrixing for Complicated ProblemsMeaningContextBehaviorPhysiologyHow a Treatment Plan Would WorkMeaningContextBehaviorPhysiologyMomentumExample IExample IIExampleReprocessingReprocessing in the field:Think PhysiologyTargetingThe State ShiftAlternating bilateral stimulus:Mindfulness or distraction:Cognitive WorkBody Scan and Future PacingRecovery (Longer-Term Status)Time Line Therapy and ReprocessingBad CodeGood CodeCode TriggersSource EventEcho EventsFuture SuccessState-Initiated ReprocessingSkillsThe WorkoutWorking With The Time LineFrom timeline work into reprocessing:More integration with cognitions:Tracking and processing source event power:Challenges to ReprocessingPost-Mystical Hyper-StructuralismFive Examples: Responding to DeletionsThe Action FilterThe Intention FilterThe Context FilterThe Originator FilterThe Source FilterThe Essence FilterBibliography

View more on Shlomo Vaknin's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on August 27, 2021 00:43

August 26, 2021

What Is NLP?

The term “Neuro” refers to our nervous system, which analyzes information and physically stores it in our bodies to be accessed later. What do you believe happens when ‘information’ enters your body?

The term “Linguistic” alludes to the way in which the code is tightly related to language systems. NLP, in reality, distinguishes between two primary language systems. The first is a representational system, which enables the mind to process data utilizing our senses. The secondary-language system, on the other hand, permits the mind to analyze information in terms of symbols, words, metaphors, and the like.

Finally, “Programming” refers to our innate capacity, as well as soon-to-be learned skills, to organize all of this data within our body (our brain) to produce our desired outcomes.

View more on Shlomo Vaknin's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on August 26, 2021 19:25

August 3, 2021

NLP = Manipulation?

When you were first exposed to neuro-linguistic programming, what were your impressions? What made you want to dig deeper into NLP?

Many people are exposed to NLP as a collection of techniques for manipulating people, sales, or even seducing potential lovers. But NLP got its start as a therapeutic system for resolving personal challenges such as phobias. This is where it has had its greatest influence and is what its core literature primarily covers. Were you exposed to NLP as a therapeutic system or a set of mind tricks for manipulation?

The schism between NLP as a compassionate method of change and NLP as a form of crass manipulation exists because of the nature of NLP as a field. Since it is about producing models based on successful behavior, it can take many forms when you just look at the techniques. Since much of it is concerned with establishing rapport and utilizing techniques of persuasion, it can be used for selfish manipulation. It’s kind of like the weather: air and water can take many forms. You’d want to be highly skilled in NLP so that others can’t use it to manipulate you, wouldn’t you?

NLP is quite popular. What about the people you know and care about? How would you teach them these skills so that they would be protected?

In whatever form you find NLP, one thing that you should see is practicality. NLP is concerned with getting good outcomes in whatever endeavor it is applied to. This is why we refer to it as a methodology, rather than a science. Although NLP involves observation, experimentation, and feedback, which constitutes a scientific mindset, it does not emphasize developing and testing theories that get at the basis of the realities it explores. Its theories are very focused on getting results.

Like most endeavors, NLP can and does benefit from “consuming” science–that is, using the information that scientists produce. There has been great progress in psychology since the early days of NLP, and those NLP practitioners who keep abreast of the research will be able to focus their efforts more efficiently. That’s because many psychological myths tend to crop up until science takes a good look at them. How do you plan to focus your efforts more efficiently and keep up with new developments? Will you wait for some other NLP trainer to share their research and insights, or will you take the lead and work on improving our field?

Another factor that has caused NLP to take many forms is the profit motive. There have been many wild claims made about NLP in order to boost sales of media and seminars. Unfortunately, this can cast suspicion upon legitimate claims. It can be difficult for people to tell the difference between exaggerations and the truth, because NLP can have amazing results in a variety of areas, ranging from personal problems to business success. What are some exaggerations that you’ve heard or read in the NLP world so far?

The current recognition that therapeutic approaches such as EMDR can have rapid results has made the claims of NLP appear less extreme, especially where problems with anxiety are concerned. But keep in mind that NLP can’t be validated as a whole through research, because it is many things. What can be researched are the specific interventions (patterns) of NLP. This is routinely done in the Erickson Institute by testing and re-testing the effectiveness of NLP processes in practice. All of us are therapists by trade, and this course is our joined effort to bring you only what’s effective and applicable. Would you rather study concepts and patterns that were designed 40 years ago and have proven to be ineffective? Or would you like to employ your brain in the study of what really works?

View more on Shlomo Vaknin's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on August 03, 2021 01:26

July 30, 2021

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!

View more on Shlomo Vaknin's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on July 30, 2021 00:25

March 6, 2020

Emotional Pain Management

Resolve excessive emotional reactions to gain control, objectivity, and poise. This is also known as the “emo” pattern. This technique is especially helpful for highly emotional people, whose reactions can be out of proportion, or not appropriate to the context. “Contrastive analysis” and sub-modalities give this technique its magic.

Pick a situation in which you over-react with emotion. Identify the key kinesthetic sub-modalities.

Pick a situation in which you have an emotional reaction that causes you to over- or under-react, to lose your objectivity, to experience emotional suffering such as high anxiety, or to lose your poise. Associate into that experience.

Notice what kinesthetic sub-modalities are involved in that reaction.

You may find sub-modalities such as pressure or pulsing, heat or cold, tension or depression.

Find key differences in sub-modalities between this state and a similar one that is positive.

Think of an emotional state that has some similarity to the emotional reaction you are working with.

However, the emotional experience must be positive. For example, excitement is similar to anxiety, but can be positive.

Constructive motivation and passion for good outcomes can be similar in some ways to jealousy, but in fact produce a positive state of mind.

Experience the kinesthetic sub-modalities of this positive state. Hint: You don’t have to come up with a positive situation in order to come up with this positive state. The important thing is how the positive state is similar to the troublesome one.

However, once you think of the positive state, it may help you to think of one or more situations in which you experience it in order to associate into it and review the kinesthetic sub-modalities that it contains.

Identify the driver sub-modality that links to two states.

Review all the sub-modalities that you have experienced in each of these two states.

Notice what sub-modality is mostly shared between the two; which is most similar. This is called the driver sub-modality. It remains the most stable when you move between these two different states.

Do the same process for the visual and auditory rep systems.

Do this technique for your visual and auditory rep systems, one at a time.

Use the same two reactions as you used for the earlier steps.

View more on Shlomo Vaknin's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on March 06, 2020 05:06

March 4, 2020

Your strengths and weaknesses

Now that you know more about how people learn, you want to think about how to apply it to your own learning. How do you learn best? How can you use that information to be a more successful learner?

To learn more about your strengths and weaknesses as a learner, you can complete various inventories related to learning styles, attitudes, and motivations. For some of us, it’s even harder to recognize our strengths than to recognize our weaknesses. Maybe we don’t want to brag. Maybe we’re attached to a poor self-image. The reasons don’t matter. Part of becoming a successful student means telling the truth about our positive qualities, too.

Remember that weaknesses are often strengths taken to an extreme. A perfectionist will never finish revising his novel, for example.

Success starts with telling the truth about what is working—and what is not working—in our lives right now. When we acknowledge our strengths, we gain an accurate picture of what we can accomplish. When we admit that we have a problem, we are free to find a solution. Ignoring the truth, on the other hand, can lead to problems that stick around for decades.

Let’s be truthful: It’s not fun to admit our weaknesses. Many of us would approach a frank evaluation of ourselves about as enthusiastically as we would greet a phone call from the bank about an overdrawn account.

There is another way to think about self-evaluations. If we could see them as opportunities to solve problems and take charge of our lives, we might welcome them. Believe it or not, we can begin working with our list of weaknesses by celebrating them.

Whether written or verbal, the ways in which we express our self-analysis are more powerful when they are specific. For example, if you want to improve your calibration skills, you might write, “I am an awful NLP practitioner because I can’t calibrate others properly.” But it would be more effective to write, “I can’t read other people’s non-verbal cues at the moment, but with sufficient practice I can clearly improve.” I’ll practice with a new person every day for 10 minutes for 30 consecutive days. ” As you use the results of your self-analysis, you might feel surprised at what you discover. Just tell the truth about it. The truth has power.

It is important for you to discover and acknowledge your own strengths as well as your areas for improvement. For many NLP learners, this is difficult to do. Some people suggest that looking at areas for improvement means focusing on personal weaknesses. They view it as a negative approach that runs counter to positive thinking. Positive thinking is a great technique. So is telling the truth, especially when we see the whole picture—the negative aspects as well as the positive ones.

To start your self-analysis, use the following suggestions as a guideline: Be specific. It is not effective to write, “I can improve my calibration skills.” Of course, you can. Instead, write down precisely what you can do to improve your communication skills. For example, “I can spend more time really listening while the other person is talking, instead of thinking about what I’m going to say next. I can observe without judgement and notice non-verbal cues. “

Consider your strengths and weaknesses, which you may think have nothing to do with learning. Be courageous. Self-analysis calls for an important master learner quality—courage. It is a waste of time to do this if it is done half-heartedly. Be willing to take risks. You might open a door that reveals a part of yourself that you didn’t want to admit was there.

One way of thinking about success or failure is to focus on habits. When you confront a behavior that undermines your goals or creates a circumstance that you don’t want, consider a new attitude: that behavior is just a habit. And it can be changed.

Thinking about ourselves as creatures of habit actually gives us power. In that way, we are not faced with the monumental task of changing our very nature. Rather, we can take on the doable job of changing our habits. One consistent change in behavior that seems insignificant at first can have effects that ripple throughout your life. The following are ways to test this idea for yourself.

One way to put your self-analysis into action is by journaling about your behaviors and habits and then creating discovery and intention statements. You started this process earlier in the program.

Through discovery statements, you gain awareness of “where you are.” These statements are a record of what you are learning about yourself as a learner of excellence—both your strengths and your weaknesses. Discovery statements can also be declarations of your goals, descriptions of your attitudes, statements of your feelings, transcripts of your thoughts, and chronicles of your behaviors.

Sometimes, discovery statements chronicle an “a-ha!” moment—a flash of insight that results when you connect a new idea with your previous experiences, preferred styles of learning, or both. Perhaps a solution to a long-standing problem suddenly occurs to you. Or a life-changing insight wells up from the deepest recesses of your mind. Don’t let such moments disappear. Capture them in discovery statements.

Record the specifics of your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Observe your thoughts and actions and record them accurately. Get the facts. If you spent 90 minutes checking your social media feed instead of planning or expanding your NLP practice, write about it. Include details.

Use discomfort as a signal. When you approach a daunting task, such as organizing your receipts, notice your physical sensations. Feeling uncomfortable, bored, or tired might be a signal that you’re about to do valuable work. Stick with it. Write about it. Tell yourself you can handle the discomfort for just a little bit longer. You will be rewarded with a new insight.

Suspend judgment. When you are discovering yourself, be gentle. Suspend self-judgment. If you continually judge your behaviors as “bad” or “stupid,” your mind will quit making discoveries. For your own benefit, be kind to yourself.

We touched on this one before, when we were talking about current reality: Tell the truth. Suspending judgment helps you tell the truth about yourself. “The truth will set you free” is a saying that endures for a reason. The closer you get to the truth, the more powerful your discovery statements become. If you notice that you are avoiding the truth, don’t blame yourself. Just tell the truth about it.

Intention statements can be used to alter your course. These statements are about your commitment to take action based on increased awareness. An intention arises out of your choice to direct your energy toward a specific task and to aim for a particular goal. The processes of discovery and intention reinforce each other.

Even simple changes in behavior can produce results. If you feel like procrastinating, then tackle just one small, specific task related to your intention. Find something you can complete in minutes or less, and do it now. For example, access just one website related to the topic of starting a new business. Spend just 3 minutes watching a motivational video on Youtube. Taking baby steps like these can move you into action with grace and ease.

Make your intentions positive. The purpose of writing intention statements is to focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. Also, avoid the word “try.” Trying is not doing. When we hedge our bets with try, we can always tell ourselves, “Well, I tried to stay away from social media and focus on my business.”

Make your intentions observable. That’s also part of the well-formed outcome process, remember?

Make your intentions small and achievable. These are the milestones. Break large goals into small, specific tasks that can be accomplished quickly. When small and simple changes in behavior are practiced consistently over time, they can have large and lasting effects.

When setting your goals, anticipate self-sabotage. Be aware of what you might do, consciously or unconsciously, to undermine your best intentions. Also, be careful with intentions that depend on other people.

Move from intention to action. Intention statements are of little use until you act on them. If you want new results in your life, then take action. Life responds to what you do, and almost never to what you wish for.

Discovery leads to awareness. Intention leads to commitment, which naturally leads to focused action.

The processes of discovery, intention, and action create a dynamic and efficient cycle. First, you write discovery statements about where you are now. Second, you write intention statements about where you want to be and the specific steps you will take to get there. Finally, follow up with action—the sooner, the better. Then, start the cycle again. Write discovery statements about whether or how you act on your intention statements—and what you learn in the process. Follow up with more intention statements about what you will do differently in the future. Then, move into action and describe what happens next.

This process never ends. Each time you repeat the cycle, you get new results. It’s all about getting what you want and becoming more effective in everything you do. This is the path of mastery—a path that you can travel for the rest of your life.

Don’t panic when you fail to complete an intended task. Straying off course is normal. Simply make the necessary corrections. Consider the word “becoming.” This word implies that mastery is not an end state or final goal. Rather, mastery is a process that never ends.

Miraculous progress might not come immediately. Do not be concerned. Stay with the cycle. Give it time. Use discovery statements to get a clear view of your world. Then, use intention statements to direct your actions. Whenever you notice progress, record it.

It can take the same amount of energy to get what you don’t want in life and business as it takes to get what you do want. Sometimes getting what you don’t want sometimes takes even more effort.

Motivation is an important part of being a successful NLP practitioner. There are at least two ways to think about motivation. One is that the terms “self-discipline,” “willpower, and “motivation” describe something missing in ourselves. We use these words to explain another person’s success—or our own shortcomings: “If I were more motivated, I’d be more successful in my NLP business.”

The other approach to thinking about motivation is to stop assuming that motivation is mysterious, determined at birth, or hard to come by. Motivation could be something that you already possess—the ability to do a task even when you don’t feel like it. This is a habit that you can develop with practice.

Promise it. Motivation can come simply from being clear about your goals and acting on them. Self-discipline, willpower, and motivation—none of these enigmatic qualities must stand in your way.Just make a promise and keep your word.

Befriend your discomfort. Once you’re aware of your discomfort, stay with it a few minutes longer. Don’t judge it as good or bad. Accepting discomfort robs it of power. It might still be there, but with time it can stop being a barrier for you. Discomfort can be a gift—an opportunity to do valuable work on yourself. On the other hand, discomfort is a sign of mastery.

Change your mind—and your body. You can also get past discomfort by planting new thoughts in your mind or changing your physical stance. For example, instead of slumping in a chair, sit up straight or stand up. Get physically active by taking a short walk. Notice what happens to your discomfort.

Work with your thoughts. Replace “I can’t stand this” with “I’ll feel great when this is done” or “Doing this will help me get something I want.”

Sweeten the task. Sometimes it’s just one aspect of a task that holds you back. You can stop procrastinating merely by changing that aspect. If distaste for your physical environment keeps you from studying, for example, then change that environment. Reading about finances and business planning might seem like a yawner when you’re alone in a dark corner of the house. Moving to a cheery, well-lit library can sweeten the task.

Turn up the pressure. Sometimes motivation is a luxury. Pretend that the due date for your project has been moved up one month, one week, or one day. Raising the stress level slightly can spur you into action. In that way, the issue of motivation seems beside the point, and meeting the due date moves to the forefront.

Turn down the pressure. The mere thought of starting a huge task can induce anxiety. To get past this feeling, turn down the pressure by taking baby steps. Divide a large project into small tasks. In 30 minutes or less, you could preview a book, create a rough outline for a new therapy group, or make five important phone calls. Careful planning can help you discover many such steps to make a big job doable.

Ask for support. Other people can become your allies in overcoming procrastination. For example, form a support group and declare what you intend to accomplish before each meeting. Then, ask your members to hold you accountable. If you want to begin exercising regularly, ask another person to walk with you three times per week. People in support groups, ranging from Alcoholics Anonymous to Weight Watchers, and even the Chamber of Commerce, know the power of this strategy.

Compare the payoffs with the costs. Maybe there is another way to get the payoff (going to the movies) without paying the cost (spending 2 more hours in the office for pro-bono sessions). With some thoughtful weekly planning, you might choose to give up a few hours of television and end up with enough time to do what’s necessary and go to the movies.

Heed the message. Sometimes a lack of motivation carries a message that’s worth heeding. An example is the client who works as an accountant but seizes every chance to be with their children. His chronic reluctance to read accounting reports might not be a problem. Instead, it might reveal his desire to major in elementary education. His original career choice might have come from the belief that “real men don’t teach kindergarten.” In such cases, an apparent lack of motivation signals a deeper wisdom trying to get through.

Visible measures of success start with invisible assets called attitudes. Choose what you want to improve. Then, describe in writing what it would look like, sound like, and feel like to have that improvement in your life. If you are learning to play the piano, write down briefly what you would see, hear, and feel if you were playing skillfully. If you want to improve your relationships with your children, write down what you would see, hear, and feel if you were communicating with them successfully.

Once you have a sketch of what it would be like to be successful, practice seeing it in your mind’s eye. Whenever you toss the basketball, it swishes through the net. Each test that the teacher hands back to you is graded with an A. Practice at least once a day. Then, wait for the results to unfold in your life. Be clear about what you want, and then practice it.

As you have learned, one way to think about your own learning process is to examine how you perceive and process information in your preferred learning mode. Each mode of learning represents a unique way of perceiving and processing: Concrete experience (feeling); reflective observation (watching); abstract conceptualization (thinking); active experimentation (doing). Although you may tend to favor one of the modes, developing all four modes offers many potential benefits.

Gardner’s (1993) theory of multiple intelligences complements the discussion of different learning styles. The main point is that there are many ways to gain knowledge and acquire new behaviors. You can use Gardner’s concepts to explore a range of options for achieving success in learning NLP, business or work, and relationships.

The following list identifies each of the intelligences and describes the strategies you can use to develop more effective learning strategies. As you review each of the intelligences below, write down any of the characteristics that describe you. Also, identify learning strategies that you intend to use. Finally, note any of the possible routes for your upcoming NLP business that spark your interest, such as a private practice or a training organization.

Verbal/Linguistic Characteristics: You enjoy writing letters, stories, and articles. You prefer to write directions rather than draw maps. You take excellent notes from books and lectures. You enjoy reading, telling stories, and listening to them.

Verbal/Linguistic Learning Strategies: Highlight, underline, and make notes in the books you read. Recite new ideas in your own words. Rewrite and edit your research articles. Talk to other people often about what you’re learning about communication, NLP, and life in general.

Mathematical/Logical Characteristics: You enjoy solving puzzles. You want to know how and why things work. You make careful, step-by-step plans.

Mathematical/Logical Learning Strategies: Analyze tasks so that you can order them in a sequence of steps. Group concepts into categories and look for underlying patterns. Convert dry, non-fiction text into tables, charts, and graphs. Look for ways to quantify ideas—express them in numerical terms.

Visual/Spatial-Characteristics: You draw pictures to give an example or clarify an explanation. You understand maps and illustrations more readily than text. Assemble things from illustrated instructions. You especially enjoy books that have a lot of illustrations.

Visual/Spatial Learning Strategies: When taking notes, create concept maps, mind maps, and other visuals. Code your notes by using different colors to highlight main topics, major points, and key details. If your attention wanders, focus it by sketching or drawing. o formalized paraphraseBefore you try a new task, visualize yourself doing it well.

Bodily/Kinesthetic – Characteristics: You use a lot of gestures when talking.

Bodily/Kinesthetic-Learning Strategies: Be active in ways that support concentration; for example, pace as you recite, read while standing up, and create flash cards. Carry materials with you, and practice studying in several different locations. Create hands-on activities related to key concepts; for example, create a game based on course content. Notice the sensations involved with learning something well.

Musical/Rhythmic Characteristics: You often sing in the car or shower. You can easily tap your foot to the beat of a song. You play a musical instrument. You feel most engaged and productive when music is playing.

Musical/Rhythmic – Learning Strategies: During a study break, play music or dance to restore energy. Put on background music that enhances your concentration while studying. Relate key concepts to songs you know. Write your own songs based on the course content.

Intrapersonal-Characteristics: You enjoy writing in a journal and being alone with your thoughts. You think a lot about what you want in the future. You prefer to work on individual projects over group projects. You take time to think things through before talking or taking action.

Intrapersonal-Learning Strategies: Connect course content to your personal values and goals. Study a topic alone before attending a study group. Connect books and lectures to a strong feeling or significant past experience. Keep a journal that relates your course work to events in your daily life (hint!).

Interpersonal Characteristics: You enjoy group work over working alone. You have plenty of friends and regularly spend time with them. You prefer talking and listening over reading or writing. You thrive in positions of leadership.

Interpersonal Learning Strategies: Create flash cards and use them to quickly refer to new concepts you are attempting to master. Volunteer to give a speech or lead keynote presentations on course topics. Teach the topic you’re studying to someone else.

Naturalistic – Characteristics: As a child, you enjoyed collecting insects, leaves, or other natural objects as a child, you will probably enjoy the following: You enjoy being outdoors. You find that important insights occur during the times you spend in nature. You read books and magazines on nature-related topics.

Naturalistic-Learning Strategies: During study breaks, take walks outside. Post pictures of outdoor scenes where you study, and play recordings of outdoor sounds while you read. Invite classmates to discuss course work while taking a hike or going on a camping trip. Focus on careers that hold the potential for working outdoors.

Remember, this is not an exhaustive list or a formal inventory. Take what you find merely as a starting point to developing your learning strategies. You can invent strategies of your own to cultivate different intelligences.

View more on Shlomo Vaknin's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on March 04, 2020 01:24

February 4, 2020

Personal Boundaries

Personal boundaries are the borders that we maintain between what is acceptable and what it not in how we are treated. Boundaries that affirm us, but that are flexible enough to allow meaningful interaction with others are considered healthy boundaries. Boundary crossings occur when someone does not respect our dignity, power, and well-being. A comment or joke that is sexist, but not directly insulting, can be considered a subtle boundary crossing.

People who have weak boundaries may take on others’ problems. It happens when a person thinks he or she is a good friend, while in reality they let themselves to get overwhelmed and absorbed with another person’s emotions and problems. A good friend should be there to stay strong for you, stay sensitive yet unaffected, so that they can pull you up and support you. This does not happen if that “good” friend is taking a part in feeling the pain or assuming responsibility for alleviating it.

People with weak boundaries become victims of themselves, and by becoming miserable for other people’s problems, they actually push them away. When those others are dependent or destructive, the person with poor boundaries is called codependent. These people lose themselves in harmful patterns. Some of them are even consciously aware of that habitual self sabotage. They may not be able to act in their own interest until they get their partner to agree with them or stop having bad (manipulative) feelings about it. They tend to have perceptual position distortions in which they have other people’s attitudes and thoughts mixed in with their own. They wonder why their relationship is not getting better when they are working so hard, without fully considering that they are the only one working on the relationship. People with overly rigid or extended boundaries may place unreasonable demands on others to comply with excessive expectations. This technique helps people define and strengthen boundaries that are too weak or unclear.

Select a pattern reflecting weak boundaries.

Think about the information on poor boundaries and codependency. Find a pattern in your life that bears some resemblance to at least one of the elements or something else that shows a weak boundaries.

Create a boundary-affirming imaginary space.

Imagine a physical space around your body that extends out about two feet. Fill that space with your boundary-affirming and boundary-enforcing qualities such as attitudes and personality characteristics. Consider qualities such as assertiveness, perceptiveness, commitment, honesty, ability to read others, and so forth. Be sure that these are not generic, they must be qualities that are unique to you. What is the quality of assertiveness that comes from you? What is positive about it? Include only the positive aspects in your imaginary space. If any of those qualities seem weak, don’t allow that to be relevant in placing them in your imaginary space. Take the collective sense of these qualities and anchor it.

Imagine the force field.

Imagine that your boundary space is surrounded by a force field that is getting so strong that nothing can penetrate unless you allow it. It defines you as being a unique entity, separate from others in the sense of being an individual capable of interacting and benefiting from interaction. Be sure to sense this from the first perceptual position (first person). Anchor this strong, “boundaried” sensation.

See yourself in second position from a highly supportive perspective.

Move to second perceptual position. Imagine that you are seeing yourself through the eyes of a person who is very supportive of your boundaries and thinks the world of you, even if you need to invent that person for this pattern. Discover what it’s like, as this understanding person, to express strong approval for you as a unique individual and for your boundaries. Take a little time to clearly express this in a way that is fully connected and full of feelings. Do whatever you need to do in order to make this a powerful, valid resource.

Amplify your uniqueness in first position, and Future Pace this state.

From first position, amplify and experience the validity and power of all that makes you a unique, “boundaried” individual. Future Pace this state as a way of being in the world and a way of navigating life.

Elicit creative expressions of your uniqueness and boundaries by testing them with a boundary violating fantasy person.

Imagine experiencing someone who is not respectful of your boundaries in some way. Allow your state of unique self and good boundaries to elicit creative responses from you. You can stop the fantasy to adjust your response, or loop it and try various responses each time through. Be sure not to be caught in the trap of trying to change the other person or convince them of anything. If they are manipulative, they will not respond to that in a constructive manner.

Future Pace.

Imagine moving into the future with your healthy boundaries and unique identity. Allow imaginary scenarios to come up as you enjoy projecting this state into the future.

In the coming days and weeks, notice any ways that you express your uniqueness despite demands from others that would turn you away from your unique self expression or meeting your needs in your own self-affirming way that connects you with supportive people and valuable resources. Notice any ways that you defend and enhance your boundaries, including maintaining your own thoughts independently from others’ thoughts and attitudes.

View more on Shlomo Vaknin's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on February 04, 2020 19:54

January 1, 2020

Intuition & Mature Wisdom

Develop positive beliefs and resources for almost any kind of issue. Directly install the beliefs and strategies of the vital elderly models. While this is not an advanced NLP pattern, I would still recommend that you wait until gain confidence and skill in other Neuro Linguistic Programming tools, such as anchoring and moving through perceptual positions.

Imagine your timeline.

Imagine that your past, present and future are represented by a line that goes from left to right in front of you.

Select a physical location in front of you, that you can step onto during this pattern.

Start from your meta-position.

Look at your timeline from a meta-position (your objective or transcendent perspective, position #4).

Be sure to have a physical spot for this position.

Step into your positive future.

Start by stepping onto your timeline where the present time is located.

Face toward your future.

See how your future timeline extends into the infinite future.

Elicit a relaxed physical and mental state, and walk slowly into the future.

Imagine that you are moving in a positive direction, in a positive state.

Focus your mind, in positive terms (what you are going toward, rather than avoiding), on your health as something that you enhance over time in many ways.

Add elements to this sense of your future health. Include:

1) a sense of your influence and what you can actually control,

2) the feeling of deserving excellent health,

3) a positive representation in every sense modality,

4) ideas and images of how you are of value to others and society, and how your age and experience are assets,

5) a sense of the larger reality that led to your existence and that supports your continued existence,

6) the visual representation of your physical posture and body language as being uplifting, balanced, and expressive.

Access past resources.

Turn to face toward your past.

Focus your mind on all feelings and experiences of vitality and well-being that you have generated in this pattern, and slowly walk toward your past.

Connect with many of the resources of your past, especially experiences that can remind you of your abilities and beliefs that support you in achieving your goals and in generating new positive beliefs and action.

Notice some special people that helped you generate those resources, including your ability to appropriately trust and believe in others.

Take the time to savor each point in your timeline where resource experiences and generation are especially noteworthy.

Fully connect with these experiences and savor and relive them.

You may not always remember details, but follow the good feelings that are part of this kind of experience, and they will help you access a positive state and maybe even connect you with more of the resource memories that we are focusing on.

Reframe and potentiate negative memories as appropriate.

Here’s what to do when you encounter negative memories during your walk into the past.

If the memory holds no value in supporting your resources (but bear in mind that negative memories often do hold great value), then it’s fine to simply step around it and continue on.

However, if you feel that there may be some value in the memory, then take the following steps:

a. Step off your timeline and onto your meta-position.

Now you are in an objective position, insulated from the discomfort of the memory.

b. Derive positive meaning from the experience.

Determine what resource would have helped you derive resources from this experience.

This can be as simple as thinking of the worst experiences that people have survived and grown from. It can be as sophisticated as giving your adult perspective to that moment so that you can discover the resources that are in that situation, and take them with you.

Even if this is a memory of something negative that you did, pay attention to the fact that your feelings about it are a link to your higher values. This is an opportunity for you to become fully aligned with these higher values.

c. See how the negative experience has contributed to positive experiences.

This may have happened because it served as some kind of warning, or made you tougher or more sensitive and aware. Remember to analyze this in terms of logical levels (see appendix) to uncover the dynamics that you might otherwise miss.

d. Think about the positive underlying motivations that have been a part of the negative event.

Even if a person behaved badly, notice positive intentions or drives that you can draw upon and redirect positively in future situations.

e. Find the humor in the situation. Humor tends to come from getting an unexpected shift in perspective.

Surprise and variety are human needs. This will help you cultivate your sense of humor and ability to innovate.

f. Once you have found one or more effective reframes, step back into the timeline and negative experience.

Now imagine re-experiencing it from your expanded perspective.

g. At the beginning of this step, you thought of at least one resource from your life that would have helped with this experience.

Recall the time in your life in which you were most connected with this kind of resource.

Find that spot on your timeline, and step into that spot.

Associate into that resource experience.

As you fully experience the associated resource state, experience it as an energy and see what color it manifests as.

How does it vibrate?

What other sub-modalities do you notice in any sense mode?

How does it feel to run through your body as a healing energy?

h. Beam that energy down your timeline into the negative experience, and maintain that beam of energy until you notice a positive change in that experience.

See what resources are liberated by this energy.

Continue until you reach the earliest supportive memory.

Create a resource vortex.

Turn to face your future again.

Slowly walk toward the future, and relive your supportive and resourceful memories.

Collect them, taking them with you into your future.

Cultivate the sense of all these supportive people and resourceful situations being with you now.

Amplify the state of resourcefulness.

Step around any negative memories as you go. They do not detract in any way from your positive memories.

Connect your resources with your future goal as you experience it.

Listen to a song that captures the sense of your resourceful state and supportive memories, as well as your health and vitality.

Get into the spirit of that song as you proceed into your future.

Continue until you arrive at your future goal on your timeline.

Experience all of the resources that you have brought with you as well as your goal and the optimal state for attaining your goal.

Integrate these sensory representations into a single, positive experience.

Notice and fully feel the connection between this future and all the people and resources of your past that are connected to it in some way.

Experience the congruent connection between all of your life events and your vital, healthy future.

View more on Shlomo Vaknin's website »

Like • 0 comments • flag

Published on January 01, 2020 08:34

← Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next →

Shlomo Vaknin's Blog

Shlomo Vaknin's profile
10 followers

Shlomo Vaknin isn't a Goodreads Author (yet), but they do have a blog, so here are some recent posts imported from their feed.