Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 70

For Pastors Who Are Struggling with a Mental Health Issue

In ministry, our jobs are typically designed to help others. We walk with families through grief, help the single mother, and pray for couples struggling through an affair. We are outwardly focused, pouring into others for the benefit of Christ. 

But what happens when the person in need of help is in our own family? What if the person struggling is actually our own self? 

Over the past couple decades, we have seen a significant increase (approximately 35%) in death by suicide. In fact, it’s the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Add the COVID-19 pandemic, and our culture has experienced significant increases in mental health issues.

Maybe you find yourself among those individuals struggling. Hopelessness and helplessness have become common feelings for you. You keep telling yourself that you shouldn’t be struggling. You wonder, “Will people think I have a sin problem? What if I lose credibility? Should I even be in ministry? How can I help others if I am struggling?” 

The biggest barrier to receiving mental health treatment is one’s own self. The perceived stigma of mental health can keep people, especially men, from seeking help. Many pastors also believe they can independently handle their own mental health issues, sometimes even denying the need for help. Don’t let that be you. 

Your Identity

People use their mental health condition as a way to describe themselves (i.e. “I’m an anxious person.” “I’m a depressed person.”), instead of letting their identity define their condition. (i.e. “I am a person that happens to struggle with anxiety.”) 

Sometimes mental health issues can seem all consuming, possibly leaving you to believe the lie that those issues define you. It may not seem like much, but simply re-examining and redefining your identity can be a positive first step.  

You may even need a daily reminder that your Creator, not your struggle, defines you. What does your Creator call you? He defines you as: Wonderfully created in His image (Ps. 139: 14; Gen. 1:26), a saint (Romans 8:27), forgiven (Psalm 103:11-12), His child (1 John 3:1, Gal. 3:26), loved (1 John 4:10), an heir (Romans 8:17), an ambassador of Christ (2 Cor. 5:20), a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17), and saved (Eph. 2:8). Jesus is not surprised by your mental health diagnoses, your weaknesses, or your struggles. He was never once caught off-guard by them. Nor has God turned His back on you. In fact, maybe He is drawing you closer. May you find rest in Him and how He defines you.

Education

Mental health issues are often complex in nature. Biology, psychology/emotion, society/culture, spirituality, and familial relationships all impact us, and attribute to the multifaceted layers of mental health conditions. 

While all mental health disorders and physical diseases are the result of Original Sin, that doesn’t mean your mental health issue is the result of personal sin. While some diagnosable conditions are marked by more biological causes (i.e. learning disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Tourette’s Syndrome), other conditions are often a combination of factors. 

There are times when someone may suffer due to the consequences of personal sin, while other times someone is the suffering servant. It’s best to consult with a professional to help determine the roots of your mental health issue. 

Additionally, most mental health issues are not a lifetime diagnosis. You can suffer from depression at age 20, but not met criteria for depression at age 25. There is hope for recovery. 

Support  

One risk factor for developing or maintaining a mental health condition is lack of social support. Another way to state that is, having social support is a resiliency factor for good prognosis. 

Community with others is vital, something many pastors lack. If you are struggling to find community and connection with those in close proximity, try scheduling regular Zoom meetings or phone calls with a friend in another state. Online support groups (yep, they have ones geared to ministers) can also be a way to garner support and build friendship within the body of Christ. 

Resources

One of the best places to start when seeking counseling or treatment is talking with your primary care doctor. Neurological and medical issues can sometimes mimic mental health issues. Rule out medical issues first. To find counselors, evaluators, or therapists, you may want to check with your insurance plan. Other resources for finding a counselor or therapist include:

Christian Care ConnectPsychology Today: Find a TherapistAssociation of Certified Biblical Counselors: Find a Counselor

I encourage you, from a professional and personal standpoint, not to lose hope or suffer alone. Almost two decades ago I was in a dark place with anorexia nervosa. I could have never imagined all that Christ had in store for my life. Even in our darkest places, Christ sees us. 

When we can’t see past our struggles, He can. Because of God’s past faithfulness, we can trust His current faithfulness, even when tracing His goodness in the circumstances seems hard. May your hopelessness be filled abundantly through Christ and His goodness, resting in the promise that He can redeem even your deepest valleys.

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A 1 Corinthians Word of Encouragement for Struggling Church Leaders

The church at Corinth was a hard church, to say the least. They were divided. They were carnal. They tolerated sin. They sued each other. They argued over Christian liberty, spiritual gifts, and the resurrection. My guess is this was a church most of us would NOT want to pastor. 

Some of us, on the other hand, might feel like we’re leading a church that has its own similar set of issues. If that’s where you are, I encourage you to read two portions of 1 Corinthians: the beginning and the end:

o   “I always thank my God for you because of the grace of God given to you in Christ Jesus, that you were enriched in him in every way, in all speech and all knowledge. In this way, the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you, so that you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ. He will also strengthen you to the end, so that you will be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful; you were called by him into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.” (1 Cor 1:4-9)

o   “My love be with all of you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Cor 16:24)

Here’s why these texts are so important. Paul starts this letter by saying first to the Corinthians, “I’m grateful to God for you” and then closes the letter by saying “I love you a lot.” These bookends surround the rest of the letter—most that says, “You all are an absolute mess.” They were a mess, but that mess didn’t govern Paul’s response to them. Somehow, in the grace of God, he kept his focus on gratitude and love. 

When you do that, you can put up with a lot of church messes – and show the transforming grace of God in the way you lead and love your congregation. We must deal with the issues, but gratitude and love trump grief and frustration.

We at Church Answers are praying for you today, struggling church leaders! 

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My Church Is Making It Through the Pandemic. Is It Ok for Me to Leave?

A great reshuffling is beginning to take place. Many pastors are considering leaving their positions or transitioning to a new ministry. It’s not surprising. The pandemic has caused a lot of people, not just pastors, to rethink their professions.

Unlike some jobs, pastors do not have the ability to work from anywhere. A church is in a specific location. Pastors are called to a people in a place. The church is a gathered people with an address. I realize there are a handful of examples of digital churches, but most congregations meet at physical locations and will continue to do so.

Not every church has recovered from the last year, but many are beginning to stabilize. They may be smaller, but they are not going to close their doors. Now that the crisis has abated for these churches, some pastors are considering a transition. If that’s you, how can you know it’s ok to leave? The last time we had a pandemic on this scale was one hundred years ago. A frame of reference doesn’t exist.

First, it’s good to understand the motive behind a transition. Why are pastors wanting to leave or transition right now?

Exhaustion: Pastors are not the only people who are tired. Just about everyone is! But the pandemic sucked the energy out of many pastors as they tried to make decisions about opening and closing, safety protocols, and digital services. Decision fatigue is hitting pastors especially hard.Change of scenery: Not every local and state government responded the same way, and churches in different regions had different requirements placed on them. In some regions, many believed the threats to religious liberty were real. Whether you agree or not, the reality is an exodus out of places like California and New York is occurring.Family: The loss of life is staggering, and pastors were not shielded. Many lost family members. Pastors, like others who have lost loved ones, are considering a move to be closer to other family members or desire to move back to their hometown.A new sense of calling: A crisis should prompt reflection. As pastors reflect, many are thinking about a new season of ministry.Getting pushed out: One of the ugliest parts of the pandemic in churches was the number of pastors who were pushed out. Unfortunately, power groups used the crisis for an evil cause. At Church Answers, we’ve heard story after story about pastors who were asked to leave during the pandemic.Retirement: While many pastors planned to stay in their roles into their seventies, the pandemic caused many to exit sooner than they anticipated. Some pastors retired early. Others used the last year to enact a succession plan.

Second, if you are considering making a transition, how do you make the decision? Asking some important questions can help you filter your thoughts. 

Is the feeling recent or prolonged? Rash decisions are not good. Don’t make decisions when you are experiencing depression or anxiety. If the desire to move is recent, spend some time in prayer first. If you can’t shake the thought, then ask trusted mentors and advisors for their wisdom.Are you running from problems? Pastors who run from problems in churches often create more problems in their new churches.What is the push/pull factor? Most transitions are validated through a simple filter. You should feel a tug away from your church, and you should feel a pull towards a new church. In most cases, if you are only experiencing a push factor, then you are likely running from your problems. And if you are only experiencing a pull factor, then it’s likely a grass-is-greener syndrome.What is your family saying? Every marriage is different, but in most cases, it is not wise for a spouse to decide to move unilaterally. If you have older children, then include them in the decision as well. Ministry transitions tend to go better when the family has worked together to make the decision.

You’ve led your church through the pandemic. Perhaps your church is beginning to stabilize after the crisis. The thought is there. You want to transition to another church or into another role. It’s not necessarily a bad thought. Just make sure you filter your thoughts in a way that helps you discern God’s call. 

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Five Trends in Small Groups Coming Out of COVID

Small groups are struggling, but small groups are really important.

That’s the summary statement from our Church Answers’ team as we hear from thousands of church leaders. Most of the attention has been focused on the regathering of in-person worship services, but small groups are regathering as well.

We have been clear that small groups are vital to the health of a church. They go by various names: small groups, home groups, community groups, Sunday school classes, life groups, and others. But they serve the very important purpose of connecting people to a more personal community.

Those in groups are more likely to stick to a church, will give more, will invite more, and will be more involved in ministry. A church without an intentional small group ministry is a church in bad health or headed toward bad health.

As our team at Church Answers continues to listen to thousands of church leaders, we are hearing five major and discernible trends. These trends, if they continue, will shape our group ministries for years or decades to come. 

Regaining momentum in small groups is tough. The pandemic caused most groups to go virtual and, even worse, to cease altogether. Most church leaders know how important groups are to the life of the church. And most leaders are challenged to get the momentum back for small groups. The ongoing small group is disappearing. We define “ongoing” as a group that continues every week with no plans of ending or taking a break. Small groups are now more likely to meet for defined periods and then take a break. The Sunday school movement began the ongoing movement in the late 1800s. That movement is slowing considerably. The decline has been accelerated and exacerbated by the pandemic. Hybrid groups are rare. A hybrid group meets in-person with a digital option. Few churches have groups taking this approach. But those groups that do take that approach may have a healthier future. Multiple groups with different purposes are declining. It has not been unusual for churches to have two different kinds of groups. For example, one type of group may be defined as primarily a fellowship group while another type of group serves the purpose of deeper discipleship. Church leaders are telling us it is really complex to have two systems of groups. One system of groups can thus serve multiple purposes. Churches that place a priority on small groups tend to be healthier. Of course, the inverse is true as well. Churches that don’t place a priority on small groups tend to be less healthy.

We really don’t need to miss the unfolding trends of small groups. While the regathering of in-person worship services rightly has our attention, we must also focus on small groups in churches.

In many ways, the health of congregations lies in the balance.

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What if my kid doesn’t have any friends at church?

We all want our kids to be happy and to feel comfortable, especially at church. Over many years of ministry, I have talked to parents who expressed concern that their child did not have friends at church. Often this is a reason that families give when they stop attending.

Friendships between kids can be challenging no matter what, but church is a different dynamic because of the limited amount of time kids spend there each week. It can be hard to make significant friendships in an hour or two a week. However, there are things that you and I can do as parents that can better or worsen the situation.

If your child is expressing these thoughts, here are some tough questions to ask yourself as the parent:

 How consistently is my child attending?  Think about this … if your child is only there 1 to 2 times a month, it is going to be very hard for him to make real connections with other kids. If you just spent an hour a month with someone, would you feel you knew them very well? In fact, he might even feel left out because the kids who are there most of the time are going to naturally know each other better. The more consistently your child attends, the better chance he will have at getting to know other kids and building friendships.Is my child in a small group environment where she can build relationships?  To answer this question, you need to have a good understanding of what happens in your church’s children’s or youth ministry. Many children’s ministries have large group worship and small group activities.  At our church, Wednesday nights are the very best environment for kids to build relationships. We keep those groups small and kids attend more consistently during the week. Also, our Sunday morning life groups/small groups are the next best opportunity to get to know other kids. Large group environments are designed for kids to connect with God through worship, teaching, and prayer. It is a larger group though, so it will be more difficult for kids to connect with each other. Maybe by expanding your child’s involvement you can help her connect better.Are YOU in a small group?  My kids’ closest friends at church did not come from Sunday or Wednesday ministries. Their closest relationships have been formed with the kids whose parents are my friends. Why? Because we spend time together outside of Sunday morning. We eat lunch together or hang out on the weekend. You need to be intentional about connecting with other parents with kids of similar ages. The best way to do this in most churches is to join a small group yourself. I guarantee the more you are connected, the more your kids will connect.Are you encouraging your child to take the first step?  What I have noticed in children’s ministry is that very few kids are intentionally excluded. Kids just tend to gravitate to the people and groups they are used to being around. (Adults do too, by the way.)  Challenge your child to be the one to try to connect with another kid in class. Maybe encourage him to look for someone else who needs a friend or is sitting by himself.Have you talked to the teacher in the class?  We are all on the same team. We all want your child to grow spiritually and to be a part of the church. Sometimes parents feel awkward talking to kidmin leaders and vice versa. Don’t! Tell them what your concern is. Ask what they are observing. Ask if there is a specific child your child could buddy up with. Be aware though – there is a great chance that the teachers will have no idea what you are talking about. Some kids will participate all morning and be the center of the party and then go back and tell Mom and Dad that they don’t know anyone! Or, another warning, a really honest leader may help you see some things that your child is doing that is making it harder for him to make friends. Be ready to receive those things well. Talking to the leaders can give you a whole new perspective and often relieve a lot of anxiety.Have you reminded your child that friends aren’t the main point? Yes, I am fully aware how important friendships are to kids. However, this is a great teaching point to remind your child that we go to church to connect first with God and learn more about Him. Secondly, we come to church to connect with other believers. Don’t be afraid to remind them to keep those priorities straight. The more they do the first, the more naturally the second will eventually happen. Also, remember, this isn’t necessarily your problem to solve. God may have some very important lessons for your child to learn in this. Don’t be afraid you’re going to turn her off from church forever. Most importantly, please do not let them talk you into quitting church. There is a good chance that this same problem might pop up at the next church. It might not … sometimes it is a better fit somewhere else … but make sure you have tried all the other things listed above first.Have you been praying about it?  I know. That is such a church-y answer. However, God cares about these things in your child’s life. Ask God to help your child connect and build friendships. Ask Him to show you what you can do as a parent and what you should not do.

Navigating childhood friendships is hard. Let’s be honest, all church friendships can be hard. However, being strongly connected with the Body of Christ is totally worth it and will provide your kids an amazing foundation and support system. Keep fighting to keep them connected to it!

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Healthy Churches are Always Messy. Here’s Why

There are as many definitions of a healthy church as there are people who have attempted to define one. The emphasis on church health often falls on numerical growth, but weekly attendance averages are inadequate metrics of health on their own, especially in the current pandemic environment.

Doctrine is also key to this topic, but denominations exist for a reason. Even non-denominational churches cannot (or should not) be atheological. So a wide theological consensus on what is healthy is unlikely. Throw in small groups, mission work, and diversity, among many other things, and it becomes difficult to create a universal set of definitive metrics for church health.

But I believe most—hopefully, all—of us can agree on one vital indicator of health: People in our churches should be telling others about Jesus and inviting them to worship services. And ironically, successful churches in this area will often be viewed as unhealthy. Why do some healthy churches look unhealthy from the outside?

People who are new believers and new to the church are often messy.

Allow me to present a hypothetical case. Assume a church has a 1:1 conversion ratio for three years. A 1:1 conversion ratio means that in this church everyone is reaching one person for Christ every year. On average, each member successfully reaches one person every year. Therefore, the church doubles in size each of the three years. If the church started with 100 people, after three years 800 people will attend. Assuming the 100 members at the beginning were mature believers, this church now has 700 relatively new believers.

After these three amazing years, just 12.5% of the church would be considered mature in the faith. You could now make quite a case for a dysfunctional church. Or so it might seem on the surface.

Here’s my point: The healthiest churches are inevitably messy.

A healthy church will have many new believers, which means an ongoing struggle to disciple them. This discipleship, however, cannot happen in a vacuum, and it certainly doesn’t happen instantaneously.

 A healthy church with a passionate outward focus can expect as much as 50% of the congregation to be loosely connected at any given point. Why? It means spiritually mature people are inviting their friends. Of course, the goal is for people to move from loosely connected to faithful. But once the loosely connected become faithful, the healthy culture of the church should compel them to invite their unchurched friends. 

If you’re a church leader and you’re constantly dealing with how to disciple messy, new believers, then it probably means you’re doing something right. Conversely, if everyone in your church is spiritually mature, then something is terribly wrong. In fact, a church full of “mature” believers is quite immature because it means no one is reaching outward. 

Healthy churches are messy. It’s easy to look in from the outside and claim, “Half that church is immature!” But such disdain could be misguided. While a state of perpetual immaturity is a recipe for disaster, a constant movement of many immature people being discipled is exactly what Jesus commanded us to do. 

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Five Ways the Post-Place Church Will Look Different after COVID

The concept of “place” has changed dramatically during COVID.

Perhaps it is more accurate to say the COVID accelerated the trends that were already underway. “Place” is different.

Think about it. For centuries, the home has been a place for family and retreat. Now it has become our theater with streaming video services like Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, YouTube TV, Disney +, and many more. Home has become our stadium and athletic arena. We have become accustomed to viewing sporting events rather than attending them. And for some, home has become our fitness center, since we elected to buy a Peleton bike rather than keep our gym membership. And, of course, the home has become an office for millions.

Think about offices. They were the daytime domain of employees. Many of those employees are now at home, in coffee shops, and in workshare places.

Think about theaters. COVID closed many. Some are barely hanging on. The viewing place of tens of millions has moved home.

We are in a post-place world. “Place” has been redefined and reimagined.

So, what are the implications for churches? Is the world of in-person services going away? Are small groups becoming small Zoom groups?

Though we can’t know with certainty, we can see some profound implications for the place called church. Here are five of them:

The church will become a destination place for many for gathering. Call it a contrarian view, but I am seeing more signs of this reality. While digital worship will still be very important, there is a pent-up desire by many for some type of regular healthy gathering. Churches can satisfy this desire, but there is a presumption that the church is healthy. Unhealthy churches will decline faster. Healthy churches will grow faster. Most churches, at least initially, will have fewer people gathering. Those on the periphery, such as the cultural Christians, will not return. The median decline of churches once in the post-pandemic phase will be around 20 percent. Because the home will be prominent in the post-place world, neighborhood churches will become more important. Home is the entertainment center, the physical workout place, the office, and the athletic arena or stadium. Home will be at the center of places. Those who live in the homes will look to local venues of close proximity. The neighborhood church has the opportunity to be a big factor in the post-place world. Churches have the opportunity to be a post-place option for those in their community. Most churches have an abundance of space. Really, most churches have too much space. The churches that are creative in the post-place world will find Great Commission ways to reach their communities by making their facilities available to them. Fewer small groups will meet in church facilities in the post-place world. This trend has been exacerbated by COVID. For a long season, many churches built large educational facilities for their on-campus groups. It was not a bad thing. We saw much better assimilation metrics with on-campus groups versus off-campus groups. But the existing trend to move groups to homes, coffee shops, and other non-church places has accelerated during COVID. Church facilities will be built dramatically differently in the future. Worship centers will be smaller. Some churches will build a facility specifically designed to be shared with members of the community. Education buildings will almost disappear. And so will buildings for church staff to have individual offices. At most, many churches will build a coworking room for their staff. Most church staff have already discovered they really don’t need the church facility for an office.

The post-place world is changing much in our culture. Local churches will be a part of this dramatic shift.

How will your church respond? What other shifts do you see churches making?

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4 Reasons Your First-Time Guest Process Should Be Boring

Many times we assume that we simply have to deliver the sizzle and sparkle to our first-time guests. After all, if we don’t knock their socks off with our golf shuttles and Disney-esque environments and free toaster ovens branded with our church logo, how can we ever convince them to come back?

Don’t get me wrong: I believe in surprise and delight. But I think what surprises and delights our guests may be different from what we would imagine. I’ve found that most of our first timers are surprised to discover we’ve thought through their first moments on campus. They’re delighted by small acts of service. They’re wowed by clear processes.

Here are four reasons I think “boring” is something to consider:

Boring is intuitive.

From the perspective of a first-time guest, you don’t want a code that’s difficult to crack. Your signage and on-ramps should be clear and obvious. The visual cues and prompts from the stage should all point guests to their first – or next – step.

Boring is easy to explain.

From the perspective of a church member or a volunteer, you want to provide the easy win of a consistently-delivered process. Whether they’re bringing a friend or helping someone they just met after the service, a boring process is easy to remember and easy to navigate.

Boring is sustainable.

Pastor Mark Dever says that what we win them with is what we win them to. Too often, we put a ton of effort into a guest’s first experience that can never be replicated with our “normal” systems. In other words, our first-time guest processes write checks that the following weekend can’t cash.

Boring isn’t really all that boring.

Keep in mind that a first-time guest is seeing your “boring” systems for the very first time. So while it may feel outdated and yawn-inducing to you, it’s not about what wows you. It’s about what’s helpful to your guests.

So how do you get started being boring? I’m so glad you asked. Get started. Plan the weekend with your guests in mind. Think through the experience before they have to walk through the experience. Create simple, obvious, and repeatable systems, and make sure your regular attendees can help someone navigate those. Stop reinventing the wheel or creating additional hoops to jump through.

You might discover that your version of boring is actually helpful to your guests.

This post originally appeared on dfranks.com .

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Six Ways Pastors Can Find the Work-Life Balance Sweet Spot

Most pastors work long hours. Most pastors work hard for their churches. The median amount of hours worked by a senior pastor is 55 hours per week. Pastors are a notorious bunch when it comes to work. The ministry tends to attract two types: lazy bums and workaholics. This post is more for the workaholics. How can a pastor find the work-life balance sweet spot?

Plan the church year, then plan your week . A schedule facilitates both a plan and a vision. Your church schedule in any given year is a roadmap for discipleship. Plan church events, sermon series, and programs one year out, then plan your week around the annual church calendar. Every Sunday evening or Monday morning, spend 30 minutes refining your weekly schedule. Keeping a schedule is one of the best ways to increase productivity with fewer hours. Take your weekend every other week . The five-day workweek is a recent phenomenon. The first five-day workweek was instituted in 1908 by a New England cotton mill to accommodate Jewish workers who wanted off on Saturday. In 1926, Henry Ford started letting his factory workers off for both Saturday and Sunday. The two-day weekend didn’t catch on nationally until 1940, when the Fair Labor Standards Act mandated a 40-hour workweek. The Bible calls for a day of rest—one day, not two. One way to control work hours is to work a six-day week every other week. Rather than cramming a lot of work into five days, spread it out over six days. Also, pastors should count Sunday as a day of work, not rest. Build interruptions into your schedule . The work of a pastor is often disjointed. Pastors get a lot of interruptions during the day. So plan for them. As you schedule your week, build into each workday about 30-60 minutes of “interruption time.” If the interruption doesn’t occur that day, then leave a little earlier and surprise your family by being home. Identify time suckers . This one should be relatively easy. Block trolls on social media. Block the number of a person who calls your cell phone incessantly. Let people know you will only do a set amount of counseling before handing them off to a professional. Set an email filter for the person who includes you on all those forwards. Create systems of care . One requirement of pastoral ministry can take up more time than any other: pastoral care. A hospital visit can take half a day, especially if the hospital is not located near the church. A short phone call is rare in ministry. Most people enjoy talking to their pastor. The role of a pastor includes congregational care, but it doesn’t mean the pastor must do it all. Assign a day of the week to each staff person or a deacon for hospital visits. Use your schedule to create natural breaks, like making appointments one hour before a Wednesday night service. Set limits on how far you will travel to see a church member (and remember, you can always make exceptions if needed). Create a system of care rather than attempting to do it all. Get regular rest and exercise . You’ll be surprised at how much energy you have and how productive you are if you simply get rest and exercise. Sleep at least seven hours each night. Playing catch-up with sleep on the weekends does not work. Exercise at least three times a week. Schedule both your rest and your exercise and make them a mandatory part of your calendar.

Work hard for your church. It’s biblical! You can’t minister effectively if you’re fried. Most pastors struggle with balance. The ministry has far too many lazy bums and workaholics. Pastors should model spiritual disciplines for their churches. Work-life balance is a key part of living in a way that glorifies God.

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Anatomy of a Church Coup

There is nothing new under the sun, including church coups.

The impetus behind this article is the greater frequency of the coups taking place. It is, I guess at least in part, yet another consequence of COVID. They have been around a long time; they are just more frequent now. 

For certain, no two coups are identical. Any type of examination or anatomy of a coup will always have exceptions and outliers. Our team at Church Answers has, however, seen patterns that are common to most coups. Here are some of the patterns: 

 The target is the pastor. Whether perceived or real, those engaged in the coup think they can do a better job than the pastor. If the pastor does not go along with their “suggestions,” the plan to remove him begins.The coup participants are usually church staff and lay leaders. The staff often report directly to the pastor. They are convinced the pastor is bad for the church, and that they offer better solutions. The staff often collude with key leaders or a key leadership group like the personnel committee or selected deacons or elders.The coup often includes contrived charges against the pastor. In fact, it is not unusual for the charges to be vague and purportedly confidential for the sake of the pastor’s family. The congregation is often confused and hurt when a coup takes place.On several occasions, the coup begins in earnest when the pastor is gone for a while. The pastor may be taking an extended vacation or a few-months sabbatical. The coup participants seize upon the perceived power void and begin to make their moves. The pastor comes back shocked that a group in the church is trying to force him out.About half the time, the coup succeeds and the pastor leaves. Many pastors know that, in a congregational vote, they would not be forced out. But many pastors don’t want to put themselves, their families, or their congregants through the ordeal of a no-confidence vote.The church and the coup participants are often hurt the most. Some churches never recover from a pastoral coup. It is like they have an unrepentant sin among them, and the blessing of God is removed. It is not unusual for the coup participants to leave the church ultimately when they are not given the power they expect after the pastor leaves. The coup participants commonly then go to other churches where they wreak havoc again.The majority of pastors will face an attempted coup at some point. My words are not meant to be fatalistic. It is simply the sad reality of congregations today. When the motive for being in ministry becomes power rather than service, there is clearly sin in the camp. 

For years, I have advocated that churches have prayer ministries specifically for their pastors. Your pastor is in a battle, a real and powerful spiritual battle. You as a church member can have a pivotal role in providing prayer cover for your pastor. 

Coups to oust a pastor are real and common.

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