Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 392

"The Vow" Tops the New York Times Non-Fiction Best-Seller List

B&H Publishing Group released The Vow, the amazing true story of commitment and faith that inspired a major motion picture by the same name. The book is now #1 on the New York Times non-fiction best-seller list.

The Vow movie premiered Feb. 10 and tells the fictionalized story of Kim and Krickitt Carpenter who made national news in the 1990s when an auto accident left Krickitt with no memory of her husband or their marriage. The book tells the true story of the couple's commitment to their wedding vows, the rekindling of their romance and their strong faith in God.

"This story is not about me, and it's not about Krickitt," husband Kim writes in the book. "It's about the Lord and how He brought my wife and me through a terrible time to a life that is greater than we could have ever imagined. It's about a commitment to the Lord and to each other."

Married just 10 weeks in November 1993, the Carpenters survived a terrible auto accident that left Kim critically injured and Krickitt in a coma. When she awoke, head trauma suffered in the wreck claimed 18 months of her memories including all recollection of meeting, dating and marrying Kim.

With Kim committed to his wedding vows and Krickett maintaining her strong Christian faith, the couple began a long road to rebuild their relationship, including a second marriage ceremony and renewal of vows almost three years later.

The movie, produced apart from interaction with B&H, is rated PG 13 and contains content some viewers may find objectionable. However, Jennifer Lyell of B&H said those who see the movie will leave with a desire to know the true story behind the film.

"Our prayer is that the movie will provide a bridge to the book where readers will find the actual events, including emphasis on the Carpenters' strong faith and commitment to Christ," Lyell said. "The book presents the Gospel clearly."

Kim says publicity over the years has brought a demand for the couple to speak to churches, marriage enrichment groups and other audiences. "We were willing to do that for the opportunities of sharing what the Lord has done for us. He has answered our prayers and kept our story alive."

Krickett closes the book with a strong testimony.

"Life is a gift from the Lord and He is our refuge and strength in God. If there is something missing in your life, seek the Lord."

The Carpenters have appeared on numerous morning shows including this appearance on The Today Show on NBC.

You can find out more about The Vow at the B&H website or on Facebook.

Five Reasons You Can't Be the Leader You Were Five Years Ago

There are some facets of leadership that are constant. Character and integrity are vital. You must have willing followers. And you must be courageous. Those are some of the key components of effective leadership five years ago. They still are today and will be fifty years from now.

But so much of leadership is changing. In fact keeping pace as a leader has never been more difficult. I interviewed several leaders whom I respect and follow. I asked each of them how leadership has changed over the past five years. To the person, each of them said that the changes have been fast and furious, and have demanded much of them. And though my study was not scientific, the responses were fascinating. In summary, these leaders shared with me five reasons you can't lead like you did five years ago.

The digital revolution affects all aspects of leadership. We have observed the radical change in the music industry in this digital era. We are in the midst of another revolution in the print and book industry. But no organization is unfazed by the digital revolution. Leadership today demands we understand it and embrace it.
Social media is changing the landscape of leadership. Social media is the great equalizer. No organization has an inherent communication advantage anymore. Leaders must embrace the many facets of social media or get left behind. It's hard to believe I started tweeting in 2008. It seems like I've been doing it for a decade.
Leaders must manage information saturation. There is no shortage of information. Leaders today have magazine subscriptions. RSS feeds to blogs, bookmarked Internet news sources, and many other sources of information. The challenge for leaders today is to know what to read, to whom to listen, and how often to do both. Leaders must both stay current and relevant, and they must be willing to ignore and discard. It takes wisdom to discern the helpful from the not-so-helpful.
Leaders must have a greater awareness of relational intelligence issues. Leaders must understand and manage a plethora of organizational and social relationships. They must deal with the soft issues of culture as well as the hard issues of numbers, products, services, and performance. Peter Drucker was on target and prophetic when he said "culture eats strategy for breakfast" (The quote is widely attributed to Drucker, but it was popularized in 2006 by Mark Fields, president of Ford Motor Company). Now more than ever, leaders must understand relational and cultural issues, including a frank assessment of the person in the mirror.
Strategic thinking is more important than ever. Culture may eat strategy for breakfast, but strategy is still vital. Leaders of organizations and leaders in organizations must anticipate the future with wisdom and discernment. The world is changing so rapidly that a leader can no longer have the luxury of simply carrying out assignments. He or she must anticipate and take risks. No organization that is standing still will be effective five years from now.

Obviously, these five factors are not mutually exclusive, nor are they comprehensive. It is clear, however, that we must constantly be growing as a leader, or we will not be effective leaders in the years to come. Though the challenges are great, those challenges can lead to exciting and rewarding times.

How has leadership changed for you in the past five years or so? What changes have you made to be a better leader to meet these new challenges? I would love to hear from you.

Friday is for Freebies (February 17, 2012)

This week's giveaway is the Courageous Blu-Ray/DVD Combo Pack. We are excited to once again partner with the fine folks from Sherwood Pictures to produce a family of products related to the movie for you to use in your church or home.

Brought to you by the creators of Fireproof and Facing the Giants, Courageous is a story of four everyday heroes who make a difference on the street but who struggle to serve and protect their loved ones at home. As the police officers discover they are missing the mark and their families are drifting apart, will they look to God to rediscover their purpose and find the strength to lead once again? Or will life's hardships tempt them to choose the easy way out?

To be eligible to win, tell us where you were born and if you still live in the same area.

The deadline to enter is midnight on Saturday night.

Watch the trailer

Notable Voices (February 16, 2012)

My Thoughts After Writing Why I Hate Religion, but Love Jesus -- Jeff Bethke

Less than a month ago, Jefferson Bethke burst on the to evangelical scene with his spoken word video. He has written a blog post that recaps what he's learned through the process. It's an interesting read, and I applaud his continued efforts to work toward unity and edification.

10 Ways for Christians to Stop Worrying -- John Harris

Worrying. We all do it. Many of us can even quote multiple Bible verses about not worrying. But we still do it. John Harris addresses this and provides 10 quick tips that can help you—and me—when we start to worry.

The Ultimate List of Social Media Policies for Churches & Ministries -- Justin Wise

Social media is becoming more and more prevalent in our culture, and as your church begins to use engage in social media, you need to be prepared and develop guidelines. Justin Wise provides one of the most exhaustive lists available for churches to use when crafting their guidelines.

Reflections on Celebrity Deaths -- Marty Duren

Marty Duren reflects on the sometimes "sloppy, sappy, sentimental theology" espoused both in the media and by many Christians following the death of celebrities. The media circus around Whitney Houston's death late last week is a great example of this.

5 Ways to Pray for Your Church -- Daniel Darling

A couple of weeks back, I linked to Dan's post on 5 ways to help your church. He returns this week with a post on 5 ways to pray for your church. This is something I do daily, and Dan constructs a nice template to follow.

10 Ways to Have a Horrible First Date if You're a Christian -- Jon Acuff

With Valentine's Day falling earlier in the week, this week's links needed something about love. This top ten list covers everything from mix tapes to handbells to ferrets. Yes, ferrets. Funny stuff as always from Jon.

This One Thing I Must Do

I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:34-35, HCSB)

I have incredible vision to see the faults of others. I can tell you quickly what's wrong with someone who is close to me or someone who is a critic of me.

My problem is that I don't look in the mirror enough. I don't see the plank in my own eyes because I'm so busy seeing the splinters in others' eyes.

My plan for this year is to read the four Gospels repeatedly. Today I read John 13. Today God broke my heart.

The text above is so clear. The primary way that others will know of my faith is how I treat fellow believers. The love I demonstrate to others will be the test of my witness to the world.

I have a long way to go.

May I share with you what God said to me through these two verses? I have enumerated them into five "I must" statements.

I must demonstrate love to all Christians. The "one another" passage is clear. There is no exception clause. There are no qualifying descriptors that allow any believer to be exempt from my demonstration of love. I must demonstrate love even to those who do not show love to me. This statement is a corollary of the first. It's easy to love those who always have my back, who are some of my closest friends, and who would never say a critical word about me. But I must love the unloving, the critical, and the hurtful as well. I must ask God to work on me before I seek to examine the faults in others. If I truly follow this command, I need work first in my own life. I must repent of my sometimes loveless attitude toward others. I cannot demonstrate real love toward some people in my own power. But God can work through me. He reminds to love others as He first loves me. And He loved me so much that He died for me. I must demonstrate love to my family. Sometimes my actions or lack of actions communicate lack of love to those closest to me. Sometimes my priorities tell my family members that I really don't love them as I should. I must realize that one of my most potentially powerful acts of evangelism is to show love to other believers. I asked my barber once what he thought of Christians. He said without malice that he knew what we were against, but he didn't know what we were for. That stung. I often lament the woeful state of evangelism among believers and churches. And then I realize with conviction how many times I have likely hurt the cause of evangelism with my own lack of love toward other believers. The world is watching me. And though it pains me to admit it, what the world has seen in me is not often a pretty sight. I know I have at times been a hindrance to the Great Commission.

It is amazing to see the power of God's Word. And it is amazing to see the power of God's Word convicting my own life.

I came away from my Bible study today with a message from God to me. It was a clear and convicting word.

This one thing I must do.

I must love others.

Eight Traits of Legacy Leaders

Two weeks ago, I wrote on the six levels of leadership based on research I gathered while writing my book Breakout Churches. With today's article, I want to examine the eight traits we found in Legacy Leaders.

To review, the six levels of leadership were:

The Called Leader The Contributing Leader The Outwardly-Focused Leader The Passionate Leader The Bold Leader The Legacy Leader

I am reluctant to articulate the characteristics in a step-by-step fashion for fear that some may take the information and reduce it to a quick-fix formula and that others may see this approach as human-centered, denying the reality of a sovereign God. Neither of these potential concerns reflects my intent. Nevertheless, a very clear pattern developed in the research.

Keep in mind that it is the total and the composition of these traits that distinguish Legacy Leaders from comparison leaders. Since the research was on churches, these are specific to pastors, but many, if not all, may be applied in the business world as well. These are also ordered logically rather than by importance.

1. Fierce Biblical Faithfulness

Legacy Leaders do far more than merely believe the truth claims of Scripture; they also passionately live out their beliefs. In our research, we found many leaders that claimed to believe the Bible as the inerrant, infallible Word of God. But far too often we found little fruit or ministry that backed up that belief. Belief in the authority of Scripture is requisite for church leaders. But Legacy Leaders both believe and act upon their belief.

2. Tenure

Legacy Leaders are willing and even want to have long-term ministries in one setting. Many churches are mired in unhealthy structures and traditions that cannot be reversed in a short period. Legacy Leaders have a long-term view of ministry and are ever persistent in moving the church forward.

3. Confident Humility

Part of this was evidenced in the leadership jump from Level 3 to Level 4. That seemed to be the point we noticed leaders becoming confident in their ability to lead. But the more important aspect, humility, was evidenced in the jump from Level 5 to Level 6. We found Legacy Leaders' confidence centered on what God was doing in their lives and less on their own inherent abilities.

4. Acceptance of Responsibility

Many leaders face difficult decisions and deal with difficult people. But the contrast between a Legacy Leader and others is stark. Weak leaders blame people and circumstances. Legacy Leaders refuse to blame their circumstances or competitors. They accept the responsibility that comes with being a leader and see God's possibilities in even difficult situations.

5. Unconditional Love of People

Despite the pains and trials they experience, Legacy Leaders express a love for their people. Many view the model of Christ's unconditional love to be emblematic for their own ministries. And although they cannot match the love of Christ in its depth, they can demonstrate it in their unconditional acceptance of all their followers.

6. Persistence

An obvious parallel exists between persistence and long tenure. Persistence differs in that it includes the fulfillment of goals regardless of the time needed to complete the task. Persistent, never-say-die leadership is a key difference found in Legacy Leaders. Giving up may be tempting to them, but it's never an option.

7. Outwardly-Focused Vision

Legacy Leaders don't just grasp vision, communicate vision, and implement vision. They consistently have a vision that is outwardly-focused. The key component of their vision is to reach those not yet a part of what they are leading. The vision they communicate inevitably reflects the priority of having others join in their mission.

8. A Desire for a Lasting Legacy

One of the key distinguishing marks of a Legacy Leader is the desire to see their organization do well and make a difference beyond the time of their leadership. The ambition and drive of these leaders cannot be denied. And that ambition is not limited to their personal successes. They are ambitious for their organization to be thriving and healthy well beyond their time of service and beyond even their lifetimes.

Again, this list is not exhaustive, but these eight traits are vital to excellence in leadership.

When Should a Leader Leave?

I would never pretend to know the will of God for leaders. Indeed I am reticent even to suggest these reasons lest someone grasp one or more and leave his or her position of leadership prematurely.

Nevertheless I interviewed dozens of leaders I respect. One of the simple questions I asked them was: How did you know it was time to leave your previous position of leadership?

Their responses were fascinating. I have attempted to synthesize their most frequent answers into five succinct reasons. Excluded are those situations where a leader was forced from his position.

1. The Death of a Vision

The most frequent response was the death of a vision for the leader. The reasons the vision died were numerous. One leader said the obstacles in the organization became so great that he could no longer lead with vision. Another said that entrenched policies of the organization were counter to his vision. In every case the leader felt grief because the vision that caused him to get up each morning with enthusiasm was no longer a reality.

2. An Awakening to the Bad Fit

Some leaders come to a point in their leadership where they realize that they do not have the skills, temperament, or desires to lead their organization. Many said that the organization changed after a period of time, and their profile no longer matched the position. Others noted that they had not kept pace with external changes sufficiently to lead effectively.

3. Losing a Power Struggle

One of the unfortunate realities of leadership is the power struggle with another leader or group. And if a battle is lost, it is often difficult to regain the stature necessary to lead effectively.

4. Family Issues

A number of leaders told us they made the decision to leave for the sake of their families. The specific family issues were almost as numerous as the respondents. One leader recalled the sad story of his son being bullied at the only school in the small community. Despite his pleas and protestations to teachers and administrators, the bullying continued. The leader left for the safety and sanity of his son.

5. The Vision "There" Is Greater than the Vision "Here"

I thought this reason would be the most frequent; instead it ranked fifth among the reasons to leave. Stated simply, the leader has another opportunity, and the vision for the new opportunity becomes greater than the vision of the present opportunity. The leader's heart has already moved to another place.

This list is obviously not exhaustive. Why did you leave your previous place of leadership? Would your response fit within one of these five categories?

Life is too short to spend time in a place we shouldn't be. Yes, transition can be difficult, and even risky. But the greater risk is wasting our lives in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Sometimes it's time to leave.

Friday is for Freebies (February 10, 2012)

We're doing things a little different this week with the giveaway. For starters, you all have an opportunity to get something for free. LifeWay has just released a free WORDsearch app for the iPad. You can follow this link for more information and to get the free app.

The big prize this week, however, is Spurgeon's Sermons from the Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit for the WORDsearch program. You can use this collection with either the iPad app or the desktop version. This collection of sermons from Charles Spurgeon not only features the 57 volume set of the Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit, original unabridged, unedited 57-volume sermon series stenographically recorded by his peerless and untiring private secretary, Mr. J. W. Harrald, but it also includes the six volumes of the New Park Street Pulpit. In total, this 63 volume set contains 3,563 complete sermons, enough to preach one sermon a week for over 68 years.

The sermon collection retails for nearly $100.

To be eligible to win, tell us in which area of ministry you serve at your church.

The deadline to enter is midnight on Saturday night.

More about the WORDsearch iPad app:

Notable Voices (February 9, 2012)

Five Ways You Can Help Your Church -- Daniel Darling

A good reminder that while your church may be served by a staff who genuinely care about the Lord, about people, and about doing it right, they probably miss some things and they make mistakes too. But God uses churches like this—- imperfect, clumsy, a bit off. You can see your church become more fully effective by becoming part of the solution, and Dan provides five ways you can help your church.

Ten Bad Work Habits to Kick -- Sam S. Rainer III

We all struggle with bad habits; at home; at work; privately and publicly. Church leaders are no exception. My son, Sam, shares a few of these bad habits through the lens of church life which show how we can harm otherwise fruitful ministry with character foibles. Here's his list of ten bad habits to consider kicking.

How to Pray Around the Globe While Sipping Your Coffee -- Mark Haines

Sometimes we tend to pray for only our immediate concerns and unintentionally leave out a host of other topics about which we can pray. Mark Haines offers daily suggestions for praying around the globe.

Five Publishing Hurdles and How to Clear Them -- Michael Hyatt

Aspiring authors often wonder what happens to their book proposal after it arrives at the publishing house. Since only precious few actually become a book, Michael Hyatt expounds on the internal proposal review process. While every house has a different process, these five steps are consistent from publisher to publisher.

7 Enemies of Organizational Health -- Ron Edmondson

As president of an organization that has thousands of employees, I fully understand the need for organizational health. Ron Edmondson outlines seven dangers that can derail the health we all strive for in our businesses.

Visual Theology: The Books of the Bible -- Tim Challies

The third infographic in a series, this one projects the books of the Bible in a periodic table format. Very clever and useful.

A Father's Prayer

The year was 1985. My third son, Jess, was five months old. His older brothers, Sam and Art, were five and three years old respectively. My wife, Nellie Jo, and I were exhausted. She, in particular, seemed never to rest with the demands of being a stay-at-home mom to three preschool boys. I was sleeping little as well, dealing with the demands of being a full-time seminary student, serving as pastor of a small church, and working an additional thirty hours a week at a bank.

I decided to take a break in my studies one evening and picked up a magazine. I was captured by a reprint of a prayer by General Douglas MacArthur. The prayer was MacArthur's prayer for his son. Throughout the prayer, he repeated the phrase "Give me a son." He would then expand on how he hoped God would shape his son.

The prayer captivated me. I was concerned about my sons. I wasn't sure I had the mettle and godliness to be the type of father I needed to be. I loved those boys so much, and I had been pleading with God to protect them and to shape them.

But in one of those moments that is both indefinable and rare, I sensed that God was telling me something very clearly. My first prayer should not be about my sons, but about me. God gave parents the role of shaping and influencing the lives of their children. I knew that I was the leader God had placed over our family. I needed the help. I needed the prayers for me.

So I took MacArthur's prayer, brought out my electric typewriter, and begin to write my own prayer. The major change I made was to pray for me as a father instead of asking God to make me sons according to my desires. When I was done, I took the paper and placed it in a cheap frame. That prayer has remained close to me ever since. Indeed if you walk into my office today, you will see the cheap frame and the typewritten prayer.

Thank you for the personal privilege of sharing this 27-year-old prayer with you today.

A Prayer: From an Imperfect Father for His Three Priceless Sons

Make me the father, O Lord, who will show my sons the strength to face weakness; the courage to face fear; the grace to accept honest defeat; and the humility and gentleness to accept victory.

Make me the father who will show my sons not a path of ease and comfort, but the ability to accept the challenges of stress and difficulty. Use me, I pray, to be the example of one who can stand up in the storm, and there learn compassion for those who fail.

Make me the father who will teach his sons the value of a clear heart and a high goal; to look in the mirror of their own faults before they find fault in others; to learn to laugh, yet never forget how to cry; to reach into the future without ever forgetting the past.

Make me the father, O Lord, who will show my sons enough of a sense of humor, so that they will always be serious, but never take themselves too seriously. Give them humility, so they will always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.

And after all these things are theirs, add for me, I pray, the wisdom to show them the dubious value of titles, positions, money, and material gain; and the eternal value of prayer, the Holy Bible, a Christian home, and a saving relationship with Your Son Jesus Christ.

Then I, their father, will dare to whisper, "I have not lived in vain."