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What Not to Say to the Pastor Before the Sermon – Rainer on Leadership #104

Podcast Episode #104

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I recently wrote a blog post on what church members say to their pastors right before they preach. It was surprisingly popular so we went a bit deeper into the discussion today.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

It makes it really difficult to preach after someone has criticized you just moments before the sermon starts.
Many pastors are focused on the message right before the service.
This is typically an issue more in smaller churches than larger ones.
The mindset of a pastor right before preaching is typically one of prayerful focus.

The six points from the blogpost that we cover today were:

The time right before pastors preach is a time of prayerful focus for them.
If you speak to the pastor at that time, consider giving a word of encouragement or prayer support.
Consider holding back any criticisms of your pastor right before the sermon.
Consider holding back your request of your pastor to make an announcement.
Consider asking someone other than your pastor to handle a problem right before the sermon.
If possible, consider introducing people to your pastor after the sermon.

Episode Sponsor

Vanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. They’ve helped hundreds of churches just like yours find their church staff and are uniquely geared to help you discern who God is calling to lead your church. Find out more about Vanderbloemen Search Group by visiting WeStaffTheChurch.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Autopsy of a Deceased Church.

Resources

Six Observations about Speaking to Pastors Right Before They Preach
How to Make Announcements in Worship Services

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10 Reasons Preaching Is Scary

By Chuck Lawless

Anybody who knows me probably knows I love to preach. I so clearly knew God’s calling many years ago that only disobedience would allow me to ignore preaching today.

To be candid, though, preaching scares me. Here’s why:

I will answer to God for what I say. As a 13 year old, I strongly sensed God’s guiding me, “I want you to preach My Word.” I know God will hold me accountable for every word I say, and He will not ignore any carelessness from my lips (Matt. 12:36-37). Recklessness in preaching is an invitation to judgment.
What I do affects eternity. Here, I am not suggesting that my preaching somehow trumps the sovereignty of God. On the contrary, I am simply aware that God uses the proclamation of His Word to save souls (Rom. 10:9-15). That truth means that preaching really does have an eternal impact.
I may have only one opportunity to speak truth to a hearer. A non-believer (or a believer, for that matter) may sit under my preaching only one time. In the midst of a busy life, he/she may offer listening ears for only a few minutes. I will miss that one-time open door if my preaching wanders from the Word.
It’s easier to talk about “stuff” than it is to teach the Word. Preaching is hard work. From personal exegesis of the text to public proclamation of the message, preachers must dig into the Word, soak in it, be cleansed by it, and then deliver it. It’s just easier to use a few Bible verses as a launching pad to preach about “stuff” than to do the hard work of Bible exposition – and that reality scares me.
At least for a few minutes, everybody is focused on me. Maybe I’m uniquely fallen, but I like the affirmations that come with preaching. For a short while, I am the “man of God” to whom others look for truth. Yes, I want my preaching to direct them to Jesus, but I must be honest with myself: preaching frightens me because it can instead become a means to build my ego.
I can preach in my own strength. I’ve been preaching for 38 years, 33 of those in full-time ministry. I have two graduate degrees from a seminary, and I’ve taught preaching courses. What frightens me is that I can rely on my training, my knowledge, and my experience when I preach – and completely lack the power and blessing of God.
Preaching puts my life under the microscope. Those who listen to my sermons presume my life will validate my words. I preach the Word publicly on Sunday, but they have a right to see obedience and faithfulness in my life every day of the week. In fact, the very Word I preach gives them the lens through which to view my life. That’s humbling . . . and a bit disconcerting.
The devil attacks preachers. The gospel is “God’s power for salvation” (Rom. 1:16, HCSB). Thus, it is not surprising that the enemy aims his arrows at preachers to hinder us from preaching and living out the Word. Our very calling to proclaim the gospel puts the enemy’s bullseye on our back.
Somebody probably won’t like something about the message. It’s too long. Or too short. Not enough Bible. Too much Bible. Too much application, or not enough application. You’re too loud. Or too soft. You don’t preach like my favorite preachers on the Internet. For those of us who can wrongly be perfectionistic and people-pleasing at times, preaching is a risky endeavor.
Somebody will listen. Somebody who hears will take the message to heart and follow it. I’ve been in places around the world where hearers take the message and proclaim it almost word-for-word that day to their villages. If somebody is going to listen, I need to approach the Word with seriousness and humility.

For all these reasons, preaching scares me a bit. But here’s what scares me the most: that I will someday approach preaching without the earnestness it demands. I’m well aware that a healthy respect for the task today can become only routine tomorrow.

Please pray that God will give me grace to keep that slide from happening. If you are a preacher, share this post—and invite others to pray for you as well.

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

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Seven Things to Consider If Your Spouse Is Not Supportive of Your Ministry

In the past few months, I’ve had two conversations where persons serving on a church staff were struggling with their spouses’ lack of support. One was a pastor whose wife was worn out with a constant stream of criticisms directed at her husband and her family. She was pushing her husband to leave the church and find secular employment.

The other situation involved a children’s minister whose husband was angry because she was gone so many nights. He felt the church was taking advantage of her and pushing her to work too many hours to the neglect of her family.

Both of these ministers were truly struggling. They did not know what steps to take. They were uncertain how to respond to their spouses.

Unfortunately, these situations are not unique. They are too common, and they often do not end well. More than one couple has divorced over this issue.

So what is a pastor or staff person to do in such difficult situations? While I don’t pretend to have specific solutions for every case, I would like to suggest seven things to consider for those who find themselves in struggling marriages because of this issue.

Listen to your spouse. Give him or her the freedom to open up completely with you. See if there are some mediating solutions to the problem. For many pastors particularly, the local church can be a demanding mistress who takes pastors away from their families.
Express your unconditional love to your spouse. Let your spouse know that you love him or her without conditions. Express that love clearly and with conviction. Be clear that your marriage comes first regardless of the cost.
Pray with your spouse. Pray with your spouse every day about this issue. Be unified spiritually as you come before the Lord. Pray specifically about the struggles related to the church.
Seek counsel for you and your spouse. That counsel may be the same person, or there may be the need for each of you to have a different counselor. The counselor may be a professional, or he or she could be someone who has walked a similar path.
Consider taking a break. See if it is possible for you and your spouse to get away several days. I know one ministry couple that took two full weeks of vacation to relax, pray, and gain perspective. They came back to serve in the church with a new commitment and vigor.
Look in the mirror closely and honestly. Is it something you are doing that is bringing pain to your spouse? Perhaps the change needed for your spouse is a change in you, your attitudes, and your priorities.
Be willing to leave the church. Do not sacrifice your marriage and your family. We sometimes like to gloss over 1 Timothy 3:5: “If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God’s church?” (HCSB). Our families must come first. Our marriages must come first.

It is indeed a difficult situation. Local church ministry can be tough. But it can be especially tough if our spouses are not supportive.

Let me hear from you. Have you ever been in this situation? Do you know how others have handled this situation?

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Why Your Church Needs a New Members Class – Rainer on Leadership #103

Podcast Episode #103

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A new members class is critical to informing prospective new members of information and expectations related to your church. In fact, I would suggest every church have a new members class. And today, we explain why its needed and how your church can benefit from it.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

Typically, the more you expect from someone, the more you will get from them.
The backdoor of our churches is as big as it is today because we’ve set low expectations in the past.
New members who connect with a small group are nearly five times more likely to stay at a church than those who don’t.
The more people know about a church and the more they are involved in a church, the more they feel a sense of belonging.
Church vision statements should be simple, short, and memorable.
You should offer ministry service opportunities to new members as soon as they join a church.
Being a part of a church means being a good steward financially.
The most effective new members classes are offered in one sitting.
One of the greatest evangelistic tools you have is your new members class.

The 10 reasons churches need a new members class are because this class…

Informs the member
Sets expectations
Moves members to small groups
Defines doctrine and polity
Closes the back door
Introduces staff
Clarifies vision or mission
Defines ministry opportunities
Establishes stewardship expectations
Provides guidance in the facilities

Episode Sponsor

Vanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. They’ve helped hundreds of churches just like yours find their church staff and are uniquely geared to help you discern who God is calling to lead your church. Find out more about Vanderbloemen Search Group by visiting WeStaffTheChurch.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Autopsy of a Deceased Church.

Resources

High Expectation Churches
I Am a Church Member
Hunter Street Baptist Church

The post Why Your Church Needs a New Members Class – Rainer on Leadership #103 appeared first on ThomRainer.com.

10 Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Pastor Right After the Sermon

I’ve actually assembled more than ten things church members have told pastors immediately after they preached. But these are ten responses where pastors have had the most visceral reactions.

“I am going to be late for lunch because you preached so long.”
“You must not have had much time to prepare that sermon.”
“My former pastor preached a much better sermon from that text.”
“I wish {fill in the blank} would have heard that sermon.”
“You act like you weren’t feeling well while you preached.”
“I’m sorry I fell asleep while you were preaching. Your voice just puts me to sleep.”
“Your subject/verb agreement was incorrect three times in your sermon.”
“I wish you wouldn’t preach from the Old Testament.”
“Let me tell you what you missed in your sermon.”
“Are we ever going to be done with this sermon series?”

Pastors often take 10 to 20 hours to prepare a sermon. They pray for God to speak through them. They preach with conviction and fervency. And then they hear one of these sentences.

These ten responses are close approximations of what pastors have actually told me. I am sure there are many more. Let us hear what they are.

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Pray for Ansonville Baptist

Location: Ansonville, North Carolina

Pastor: Rev. Jeff Glenn

Weekly Worship: 11:00 AM

Fast Facts: Ansonville has had a history of conflicts, but praise God those days are over. However, church attendance dropped dramatically during those times, so now the church is regaining its Kingdom focus, purpose, and mission. Please pray that God would either raise up or send spiritual leaders who are strong and mature in their faith. Also pray for their upcoming Easter Cantata to be held on Sunday, April 5 and for revival in the church and spiritual awakening in the community.

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well.

If you would like to have your church featured in the “Pray for…” series, fill out this information form..

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Notable Voices: February 28, 2015

9 Current Multisite Trends for 2015 — Jim Tomberlin

This short recap from Jim highlights the major trends we are seeing with multisite churches. In fact, I have a podcast on this topic releasing in March.

 

10 Predictions About the Future Church and Shifting Attendance Patterns — Carey Nieuwhof

I recorded an upcoming podcast episode with Carey this past week and we discussed several church trends. Point number two in his list here is one that can’t be stressed enough. Those are the churches that my latest book, Autopsy of a Deceased Church, covers. Churches must love their mission more than their model.

 

5 Awesome Ways to Quickly Improve Your Church’s Website — Darrel Girardier

Darrel has one of the best blogs for those interested in social media and websites for churches. The front door of your church is now your website. If your church website doesn’t already have the five tasks he mentions completed, make it a high priority to do so.

 

Three Critical Changes the Growing Church Must Make — Eric Geiger

As churches grow, things change. Expectations change. Decision making changes. Needs change. As a pastor, you have to adapt to those changes so that growth may continue.

 

The One About Generational Unity — Brooke Hollingsworth

Brooke responded to a post here on the blog about the need for generations to work with and mentor one another. Her sentiments are pervasive among Millennials. They want to work and worship alongside Christians from other generations. And as I stated in a recent podcast, churches must create opportunities for this by allowing them to both serve and lead.

 

4 Ways Pastors Enable Dysfunction in their Churches — Joel Rainey

Joel could have made this list a lot longer. But the four points he mentions are seen on some level in far too many churches.

 

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What Staff Member to Hire Next and Other Listener Questions – Rainer on Leadership #102

Podcast Episode #102

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The listeners of the podcast help us shape the content and topics with their questions and comments. So we always enjoy episodes in which we can touch on several questions that have come in. Today, we tackle everything from mentoring to building vision to connection cards to staff hiring.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

One of the first things a new pastor should do is to develop relationships within the new church.
When seeking a mentor, find someone with whom you can connect and trust.
What makes music in the church worshipful are the lyrics, so they must be understandable.
After pastor and worship leader, the “next hire” for a church is now becoming a children’s minister.
Kids can’t drive, so if you’re going to offer robust children’s programming, have the same for adults as well.
Bringing people in the right way through the front door of the church is the best way to shut the back door.
Building a vision should involve buy-in and collaboration.

Questions Covered in This Episode

Kris asks:

One concern I have in pursuing pastoral ministry is my ability as a millennial to shepherd an established church and make changes without getting burned out by resistance. What would you say would make this less scary—and what does longevity in a pastorate contribute to being able to make major changes as a senior pastor?

Dennis asks:

How does a new pastor or someone fairly new to ministry leadership select mentors? Is it important to stay within your denomination, or is it possible to glean knowledge from those outside your denomination? Would this lead to being seen as ecumenical or compromising?

Joel asks:

We have seen an increase in Connection Cards turned in, but we are still only collecting about cards from 1/3 of our guests. As a church we do not want to have everyone fill out connection cards every Sunday, but we do encourage everyone to use it to share prayer requests or change info or give new info to staff. What are some strategies we can use to increase our percentage of guests filling out the card and turning it in?

Phil

Our music director says that the excellence of the music comes first; if the words are incomprehensible, tough luck. Possible solutions?

Ron

For a church of 225 adults, what third staff member should a church consider to enhance growth?

Tim

I have heard it said that those who leave are likely to never come back. Should we try to visit them and try to get them to come back?

Don

How do you build synergy, focus, and vision within a church staff?

Episode Sponsor

The Cross Church School of Ministry is a one-year residential ministry experience hosted by Cross Church and Dr. Ronnie Floyd.  It uniquely designed to prepare leaders for life, ministry, and Gospel advancement globally. For more information about the Cross Church School of Ministry visit: www.CrossChurchSchool.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Autopsy of a Deceased Church.

Resources

Pastoral Longevity, featuring Mike Glenn
Obstacles in the Established Church
Mentor
Fusion
Doxology and Theology

The post What Staff Member to Hire Next and Other Listener Questions – Rainer on Leadership #102 appeared first on ThomRainer.com.

10 Ways to Read Your Community

By Chuck Lawless

I have the privilege of hanging out with missionaries, men and women who have learned how to exegete their communities in order to proclaim the gospel in contextualized and relevant ways. I also hang out with local church leaders, though, who often know far too little about the communities they serve. Here are ten ways to “read” your community:

Do a demographic study. I doubt this option is surprising, but I’m amazed by the high percentage of church leaders who don’t know current data about the people in their ministry area. As a church consultant, I often quiz leaders based on our company’s demographic findings – and seldom have I met leaders who know their community well.
Talk to public school officials and teachers. Few people in a community see the reality of life like teachers do. Some daily see the products of crippling poverty, broken homes, and poor choices. Others work with students whose successful families have little need for God. Let these teachers give you a glimpse into the lives around you.
Get to know local government officials. Even if you disagree politically with the leaders, develop friendships with them; you need to know these influencers in your community. They can be reservoirs of information about past community struggles, current needs, and future plans. Plus, they will likely need a pastor at some point in their own lives.
Intentionally spend one day per week in the community. Eat in the restaurants. Visit the local stores. Read in the library. Study at the coffee shop. Volunteer in the school system. Prayerwalk the downtown area. Get out of your office into the community, and what may sound like a wasted day can become pivotal in your ministry.
Talk with other church leaders. Church leaders often offer years of community experience and knowledge, but too many local church shepherds never get to know each other. Competition, distrust, and “lone ranger” mentalities keep us disconnected. Push against those tendencies, and invite a veteran pastor to lunch. Find out what obstacles other churches are facing in reaching your community.
Read your community’s history. Even if no one has written a full history, many communities have published at least a brief record of their story. Learning that story will not only help you understand the history better, but it will also show others your interest in being a genuine part of the community.
Ride with a police officer. Officers who have been in the community for some time will know the streets well. They may not use this language, but they know the sin strongholds in a region. Hang out with an officer for even one shift, and you may see more of your community than you have ever seen.
Interview people. Walk the streets, and interview people about the community’s needs. Question them about their own spiritual walk. Discover how they define “success.” Ask how churches might make a difference in the community. Just talk to people with intentionality – while you listen and learn.
Map your faith community. As a church leader, you should know the area where your church folks live. Using a paper map or a computerized process, map the homes of your regular attenders. See where God has already placed believers, and build on that foundation. Find the “holes” where your church has no testimony, and go there. Pray. Look for ministry opportunities. Extend your witness.
“Prayer-drive” the community. Begin to use your driving time to see the area with God’s eyes. Pray for Christian congregations that meet in buildings you pass. Watch for places of worship for other world faiths, and pray others will hear the gospel of Jesus Christ. Be alert for, and pray for, people caught in addictive bondages, abusive relationships, and sinful lifestyles. Watch and pray more intentionally as you drive, and your burden for your community will grow.

What other ways to “read” your community do you recommend?

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

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Ten Joy Stealers in Ministry (And How to Get It Back)

I know. There are many unhappy ministers in our local churches. Such is not a judgmental statement, but a statement of reality. Indeed, I count myself among those who have struggled with joy in ministry on more than one occasion.

In this post, I share ten of the most common reasons pastors and other church staff members lose their joy in ministry. But I don’t want to just dwell on the negative. Next to each reason, I offer suggestions to counter these joy stealers. Indeed, I have learned both the reasons for joy stealers and the reasons joy returns largely from you readers. Over the past few years, you have been my teachers in many ways. I am so grateful for you.

What are the joy stealers? Even more importantly, what are pastors and other church staff doing to recapture their joy? Here are ten common responses.

Seeing the underbelly of Christian ministry. Christian ministry means working with sinners just like you and me. It’s often not a pretty sight to see what we see in local churches. And while we don’t condone sin, let’s learn to demonstrate grace and love like Jesus did and does.
Constant criticisms (“death by a thousand cuts”). I received my first criticism as a pastor on my third day of ministry. I was crushed. May we be men and women who seek to please God instead of people. And may He give us the strength to be godly and gracious when we do receive criticisms.
Fighting among Christians. A non-Christian recently told me that he has been observing Christians on blogs and social media the past several months. He said: “You Christians are some of the meanest people I’ve ever known.” Ouch. We will know Christlike joy when we act like Him, and not like the world.
Busyness that turns to prayerlessness. We will always lose our joy when we neglect our time in prayer. When we pray, we are connected to the Source of all joy. If we are too busy to pray, we are too busy.
Unreasonable work hours. Many in Christian ministry become workaholics to the detriment of their families and themselves. It is ultimately our choice and our responsibility to have a balanced life. When we don’t, the joy goes away.
Attacks on our family. This is an especially difficult joy stealer because we sometimes feel powerless when it happens. Be even more diligent in prayer to seek His wisdom. Let your family know they come first. Confront the perpetrator if necessary. But do this all in a spirit of prayer and love.
Sour staff relations. Anecdotally, I believe this joy stealer is present in over half of our churches. It is your responsibility to be gracious, to be a reconciler, and to be a peacemaker. If relationships are still sour, you have done all you can. Your joy comes from the Lord, not the other church staff.
Inwardly focused church. A church that focuses most ministries and activities on the members and not those beyond the church becomes stale and self-serving. You must get your joy in the Lord by reaching out to others regardless of what others in the church do.
Lack of respect in the community and culture. Up until about 1990, most ministers were respected, if not revered, in their communities. That reality is shifting dramatically in most communities today. Remember again, your joy does not come from the approval of men and women in the community.
Entitlement mentality among some church members. A number of church members view the church as a country club where they pay dues to get what they want. You responsibility as a minister in the church is to serve all people in the name of Christ. In doing so, you will find His joy. But that does not mean you have to yield to the demands of selfish whiners.

There are definitely two common themes in this article. First, ministry in the church is not easy. It’s been that way for 2,000 years. Second, if we focus on these joy-stealers, they will indeed take away our joy. But if we keep our focus on Christ, our joy can never be taken away.

Let me hear from you. What are some joy stealers you have encountered in ministry? How did you get your joy back?

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