Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 269

Five Reasons Some Pastors Are Loners—And Why That’s Not Good

By Chuck Lawless

I admit it. I have a tendency to be a loner. I like my personal space and my private time. I recognize, though, that my tendencies aren’t always the best for a pastor. Here are my reflections on others like me:

Why Some of Us are Loners

Some of us are naturally introverts. In fact, I’m convinced many pastors are introverts, but we’ve learned how to manage the public responsibilities of shepherding a church. Fellowship gatherings drain us, but we go anyway because we know we need to. If we don’t have our alone time, however, we’d never rejuvenate.
Some have been hurt in the past. It doesn’t take many experiences of sharing ministry with others, becoming best friends with your staff, opening up to members . . . and then getting wounded . . . before you become a loner out of self-protection.
It’s easier to do ministry alone. It takes less time to make a visit if I go by myself. I don’t have to worry about anybody’s schedule. Lunch takes less time if it’s not connected to hanging out with another believer. We even spiritualize our thinking: “we can get more done for God’s glory this way.”
It’s risky to be vulnerable. If I never invite others into my life, I never need to talk about my fears, my weaknesses, my failures. Nobody learns that I sometimes struggle as a spouse or a parent. Nobody knows that my confidence sometimes masks my insecurities.
It’s the only model we know. Too few of us had someone pour into our lives when we were young pastors. We have learned the lessons of ministry the hard way – by ourselves – and we’ve learned how to survive on our own.

Why that Pattern’s Not Good

It misses the point that God created us to be with others. When God said in the Garden, “It is not good for man to be alone,” He was not talking about a consequence of the fall. He spoke prior to the fall – showing He created us to be in relationship with others. He did not intend us to do ministry by ourselves.
It misses the way Jesus did ministry. Jesus always got it right: He knew how to balance His time with the Father and with others. He called individuals, preached to the hundreds, and fed the thousands – all while also patiently investing in a few men. Even in his toughest moments (like the Garden of Gethsemane), He wanted men with Him.
It’s dangerous. Let’s be honest: we often make our dumbest decisions when we are alone. Isolation breeds trouble, and that trouble sometimes costs us our ministry. I have met very few leaders who fell when they were sharing life and ministry with others.
It can be self-centered. It sounds odd to say that my desire to work alone can somehow be self-centered, but it can be. It’s my My space. My plans. My ministry. Meanwhile, I share little with others who might long to learn beside their pastor.
It’s not good leadership. Most of us know this truth intellectually, but we don’t practically live it out. If my departure from a church leaves a hole that seriously slows the congregation’s work, I have not been the best leader. I’ve probably, intentionally or unintentionally, built a kingdom around me – and that’s not good.

What Should We Do?

Admit our tendencies. Ask God for courage and wisdom to invest in someone else. Find 1-3 other believers into whose lives we might invest ourselves. Then, do something with these other leaders. Each step will help you break the pattern of being a loner.

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

photo credit: Decaffeination ! via photopin (license)

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Fourteen Key Reasons for the Breakdown of Church Unity

This post has a negative perspective to it. I freely admit it.

I addressed the positive perspective of it in a recent podcast.

Sometimes we have to face the reality of a sickness before we are willing to seek treatment. Please read the next sentence carefully. One of the greatest sicknesses in our churches in America is disunity. Indeed, many of the problems we think we have are really just symptoms of the breakdown of unity in the church.

The early church in Jerusalem thrived because it was so unified. Acts 2:47 says: “(They were) praising God and having favor with all the people. And every day the Lord added to them those who were being saved” (HCSB). The phrase “having favor with all the people” refers to those on the outside looking at the church on the inside. They saw a selfless and unified church, and were thus attracted to it.

So what are some of the key reasons we are seeing the breakdown of unity in our churches? Though my list is not exhaustive, allow me to share fourteen of those reasons.

Gossip. Church members talk about one another instead of talking to one another. Paul calls church members who gossip people “filled with all unrighteousness” (Romans 1:29, HCSB).
Actions cloaked in darkness. I recently heard of a church personnel committee and a few church staff members who worked in darkness to fire a pastor without ever meeting with him first or giving him reasons for his dismissal. Then they refused to respond to church members who were asking questions.
Failure to confront church bullies. Some church members seek power in a church they can’t get elsewhere. They are devious and dangerous. They must be courageously confronted.
Self-serving church members. Some church members insist on getting their way for everything from worship style to the order of the worship service. Biblical church membership, however, is selfless and more concerned about others.
Lack of prayer. A church that does not pray together is likely to fragment into special interest groups.
Fear of confrontation. Too many church members would rather sweep problems under the rug than deal with them. I know of one church where two deacons were known to be having affairs. No one wanted to deal with it.
Adopting the hypercritical spirit of culture. This reality is especially true in blogs and social media. I’ve seen many pastors attacked publicly on Twitter and Facebook.
Low expectations. Many churches have no clear guidelines on what it means to be a part of the body of Christ. If you expect little from members, that’s exactly what you’ll get. And some of them will use their idle time to gossip, criticize, and tear down.
No church discipline. The majority of churches with which I have familiarity have no process for church discipline, or they have a process in place in theory only.
Churches known more for what they are against rather than what they are for. This negativity becomes pervasive in the congregation and destroys church unity.
Fear of losing members. I am familiar with one church plagued by a spirit of divisiveness by one particular member. No members have confronted him because they don’t want to lose one of the biggest givers in the church.
Failure to be evangelistic. I have never known a church member who is both evangelistic and divisive.
Power groups. Sometimes the bullies in the church get allies to form power groups. They may be informal groups, or they can be formal groups like elders, deacons, staff, or personnel committees.
The silent and fearful majority. One church member said it is not always good to know the truth. Such a statement is unbiblical and symptomatic of members who let evil exist because they are afraid to confront it.

One of the greatest problems in our churches is the breakdown of church unity. It is insidious, debilitating, and destructive.

Paul urged us “to walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, accepting one another in love, diligently keep the unity of the Spirit with the peace that binds us” (Ephesians 4: 1-3, HCSB).

Jesus said in John 13:35: “By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

The breakdown of church unity is one of the most critical problems in our churches today. Are you part of the solution? Let me hear from you.

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Non-Salary Benefits Churches Should Consider Providing for Staff – Rainer on Leadership #123

Podcast Episode #123

SUBSCRIBE: iTunes • RSS • Stitcher • TuneIn Radio

Not every church can provide every possible benefit listed in today’s podcast for their staff. But most—if not all—churches can provide at least some of these. Extra benefits like the ones we cover today can foster staff and church unity, boost staff morale, and, as a result, increase the effectiveness of the staff and church. These benefits are worth considering for every church.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

Churches need to do their part in providing retirement options for staff; and staff need to save for retirement.
I would like to see more churches provide meal reimbursements for staff to build relationships with others.
Many position titles are antiquated. They reflect neither the value of the position nor an accurate representation of it.
Free babysitting for church staff is a tremendous blessing to staff families with kids.
When your church provides monetary or non-monetary benefits, you are telling the staff they are loved.

Ten Monetary Benefits Churches Can Provide:

Retirement
Insurance
Sabbaticals
Book allowance
Conference budget
Education reimbursement
Staff retreats
Meal reimbursement for ministry
Cell phone and mileage reimbursement
Gifts for the spouse

Eight Non-Salary Benefits Churches Can Provide:

A consistent day off​
​Bonus time off
Daycare/school if the church has one
Free registration for church events/meals
Extra books and other material you own
Share gifts​
A position title that reflects the value of the ministry
Babysitting

Episode Sponsor

Vanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. They’ve helped hundreds of churches just like yours find their church staff and are uniquely geared to help you discern who God is calling to lead your church. Find out more about Vanderbloemen Search Group by visiting WeStaffTheChurch.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Autopsy of a Deceased Church.

Resources

Guidestone.org
Five Reasons Your Pastor Should Take a Sabbatical
Developing a Healthy Church Staff

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Eight Common Characteristics of Successful Church Revitalizations

There is one type of church revitalization that is more successful than all others. The church closes its doors for a season, and then re-opens, usually with a new name and new leadership. I know this approach is not an option for most of you, so I gathered data from the “other” category. This category includes churches that kept the same name and, for the most part, the same leadership.

Keep in mind, this information is not a step-by-step guide to revitalization. We offer that resource periodically. Make certain you are on our email list, and we will let you know the next time that training opens.

As I gathered the information for successful revitalizations, I noted eight common characteristics that took place in most of the congregations. Unfortunately, many leaders are not willing to make all the sacrifices these characteristics suggest. Those who will make the sacrifices, however, are often seeing blessings beyond what they anticipated.

The pastor formed an alliance of key influencers in the church. This group is not informal, nor is it closed to others. It begins when the pastor identifies those in the church whose voices are most effective in leading others toward change. I cannot remember a revitalization effort that succeeded without an alliance.


The alliance of influencers recognized the need for church revitalization and made a commitment to pray for it daily. Please don’t let the last part of the preceding sentence escape your notice. Each of the influencers committed to daily prayer for revitalization. They realized it could not take place in their power alone.


The leaders and a growing number in the congregation made a commitment to move the church to look more like the community. Such a commitment naturally involves an outward focus, because declining churches are not reaching all segments of their communities. The leadership within the church begins to look at the demographics of their community. They are willing to face reality on where the church is falling short.


The church began to confront the issue of sacred cows. I know of one church that had a two-hour “town hall” meeting of the members of the congregation. The leaders made a list of every preference and church activity they could recall. For example, one of the items on the list was “11 am worship.” They then labeled each activity as either biblically essential, contextual, or traditional.


The leadership began to work with the congregation to form a clear and compelling vision. One church, an all Anglo congregation, cast a vision to have 20 percent Hispanics in the worship attendance in one year because the community was 40 percent Hispanic. They did not reach 20 percent in year one, but they did in year two.


The leadership communicated a sense of urgency. One of the simplest yet most powerful communications of urgency I’ve heard is: “We change or we die.” Too many congregations are choosing to die because of their unwillingness to change.


The leadership, particularly the pastor, was willing to endure a season of intense criticism. This point is often where revitalization efforts end. The critics can get nasty, and the criticisms can become intense. Many people simply get mad at the idea of change.


The leadership of the church was willing to let go of members. I have never known a successful revitalization effort where members did not leave. Few leaders like to see members leave, but some churches have a “back door revival” before true revitalization can take place.

Nine of ten churches are either declining or growing so slowly they are not keeping up with the growth of the community. Many churches are just a few years away from dying and closing. Revitalization is an urgent need.

Are you willing to become an agent of this needed change? Let me hear from you.

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Pray for Morris Memorial Baptist Church

Location: Moscow, Tennessee

Pastor: Bryan Morris

Weekly Worship: 10:45 AM, Central

Fast Facts: Morris Memorial Baptist Church has experienced major transition in the past year and a half which included major conflict in 2014. Pastor Bryan was called as pastor in December 2014 after serving as youth & children’s pastor the previous five years. Following the conflict of 2014, MMBC is moving through the healing stages right now. During this time, the church has been reevaluating its ministries, mission efforts, and worship service dynamics. Many positive changes have resulted, and some are still yet to come. Please pray that God will continue to bring healing and restoration, and that He would strengthen the church as it moves forward. Also, pray for their outreach in a local elementary school. God has opened this door and continues to bless their efforts to reach over 290 children, their parents, and school staff for Jesus.

Website: MorrisMemorial.net

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well.

If you would like to have your church featured in the “Pray for…” series, fill out this information form..

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You Spoke, We Heard: Results of the 2015 Readers’ and Listeners’ Survey

I am blown away by the surveys you submitted. Your input is invaluable to me, and I heard from 1,649 of you. Thank you so very much. I am still digesting much of the information, but let me share some summary comments for now.

Who We Are Reaching

We have readers and listeners from every country in the world.
There are 6 million views on the blog each year.
Though much newer, the podcast is growing steadily with over 600,000 downloads a year.
According to our best estimates, we are reaching two-thirds of all churches in America, approximately 250,000 congregations.
My book, I Am a Church Member, should soon reach one million copies sold. My most recent book, Autopsy of a Deceased Church, has also been a bestseller.

Who You Are

Our audience is 60% pastors, 20% church staff, and 20% laypersons. That is a big shift from a year ago when each group comprised one-third of our audience. All three segments have grown numerically, but the pastor audience has obviously grown the fastest.
The age groups of our audience are amazingly evenly distributed. No single age group is dominant.
The audience is also amazingly evenly distributed among community locations: rural, urban, suburban/bedroom, small town, and mid-sized town.
No denominational or non-denominational group forms a majority of our audience. Indeed, many groups are represented. The fastest growing audience is in the non-denominational group, which is also our second-largest group at 13%.
The audience comes close to mirroring the sizes of churches in America. Slightly less than 73% of you are in a church of 350 or less in average worship attendance. Just over 90% of American churches are under 350 in attendance.
Over 43% of you are in a church with multiple worship services and/or multiple venues or campuses.

How You Want Us to Improve

You really focused in three areas. First and foremost, you want us to provide more resources and insights into church revitalization.
Some of you do not like the podcast music.
Many of you want us to be “less Baptist.” You are not asking us to abandon our heritage; you simply want us to recognize the diversity of the audience.

What You Like

You overwhelmingly like the practicality of our information and resources.
You also overwhelmingly like the relevance of the information for your needs in the local church.
Most of you like the delivery format of the blog: the listings, the numbers, and the casual conversation.
You like our heart for pastors, church staff, and the local church.
You like the community that is forming around the blog and podcast.
You like the length of the blog posts and the podcasts. Slightly less than 74% of you say the lengths are ideal; 24% of you would like them longer.
You like the frequency of the blog posts (five times a week) and the podcasts (twice a week). Over 68% of you say the frequencies are ideal; 23% of you would like them more frequent.

How We Are Responding to You

We would not have these forums if not for you who are loyal participants. We are here to serve you. We will continue to seek your input to improve. Thank you so very much. We are taking three immediate steps to respond to you.

We will have more material and resources on revitalizing churches.
We have already changed the podcast music back to the former arrangement (I will miss you, ELO).
We will try to have a greater awareness of our diverse audience. You can help us. Let us know in the comments how we can be “less Baptist” in how we communicate. I (Thom) am not sufficiently self-aware to know the changes I need to make.

Our Gratitude for You

Thank you again. You are an incredible audience. Indeed, you are one of the most informed audiences I have ever known. Thank you for letting me learn from you.

As we noted in the survey, we are giving away a signed copy of my upcoming book, I Will, to 20 of you who participated in the survey. Here are the winners from the random drawing. (We used “Random #” app to determine the winners. Your assigned number was the order in which you completed the survey.)

Suzanne Finnerty
Brady Collier
Jerome Walker
Terry Thompson
Richard Stowe
Gary Hinkle
Mark Engel
Darin Graham
John Lindsay
J. Carl Sensenig
Todd Hartley
Matt Burton
Tom Roderick
Cory Jones
Franklin Coffman
Julie Barrineau
Coley Mull
George Miller
Christina Nees
Kevin Carter

Let us hear from you about our survey. Your comments always add so much to the conversation.

The post You Spoke, We Heard: Results of the 2015 Readers’ and Listeners’ Survey appeared first on ThomRainer.com.

Encouragements and Warnings for Christian Leaders in Social Media, featuring Michael Hyatt – Rainer on Leadership #122

Podcast Episode #122

SUBSCRIBE: iTunes • RSS • Stitcher • TuneIn Radio

This week I am excited to have Michael Hyatt on the podcast. Michael is the author of the New York Times bestseller, Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World. It is also a Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Amazon bestseller. He’s also the former Chairman and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers. Michael now writes, speaks, and coaches full-time. He lives just outside Nashville, is married, and has five daughters.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

Social media has created an unprecedented opportunity for people to have access to and be influenced by Christian leaders.
Twitter is an opportunity for you to be a resource to other people.
If your church doesn’t have a website, it doesn’t exist. People won’t take you seriously because they think you don’t care.
Consistency is more important than frequency when it comes to blogging.
Social media is both an insight station and an influence station.
If you’re going to be active in social media, you need something to fill the well so that you have something to give out.

Episode Sponsor

Vanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. They’ve helped hundreds of churches just like yours find their church staff and are uniquely geared to help you discern who God is calling to lead your church. Find out more about Vanderbloemen Search Group by visiting WeStaffTheChurch.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Autopsy of a Deceased Church.

Resources

Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World
Platform University
Church Answers
@MichaelHyatt
BestYearEver.me
MichaelHyatt.com
This Is Your Life Podcast
Undone: Making Peace with an Unexpected Life
How Much Business Is Your Profanity Costing You?
RayEdwards.com

The post Encouragements and Warnings for Christian Leaders in Social Media, featuring Michael Hyatt – Rainer on Leadership #122 appeared first on ThomRainer.com.

Encouragements and Warnings for Christian Leaders in Social Media, featuring Michael Hyatt – Rainer on Leadership #120

Podcast Episode #122

SUBSCRIBE: iTunes • RSS • Stitcher • TuneIn Radio

This week I am excited to have Michael Hyatt on the podcast. Michael is the author of the New York Times bestseller, Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World. It is also a Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Amazon bestseller. He’s also the former Chairman and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers. Michael now writes, speaks, and coaches full-time. He lives just outside Nashville, is married, and has five daughters.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

Social media has created an unprecedented opportunity for people to have access to and be influenced by Christian leaders.
Twitter is an opportunity for you to be a resource to other people.
If your church doesn’t have a website, it doesn’t exist. People won’t take you seriously because they think you don’t care.
Consistency is more important than frequency when it comes to blogging.
Social media is both an insight station and an influence station.
If you’re going to be active in social media, you need something to fill the well so that you have something to give out.

Episode Sponsor

Vanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. They’ve helped hundreds of churches just like yours find their church staff and are uniquely geared to help you discern who God is calling to lead your church. Find out more about Vanderbloemen Search Group by visiting WeStaffTheChurch.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Autopsy of a Deceased Church.

Resources

Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World
Platform University
Church Answers
@MichaelHyatt
BestYearEver.me
MichaelHyatt.com
This Is Your Life Podcast
Undone: Making Peace with an Unexpected Life
How Much Business Is Your Profanity Costing You?
RayEdwards.com

The post Encouragements and Warnings for Christian Leaders in Social Media, featuring Michael Hyatt – Rainer on Leadership #120 appeared first on ThomRainer.com.

13 Signs of Leadership Fatigue

By Chuck Lawless

Leadership is sometimes wearisome – so wearisome that we come close to giving up. Over the years, I’ve watched leaders slide into defeat, and I’ve seen some of these common signs of trouble.

I list these symptoms of “leadership fatigue” here not to discourage you, but instead to help you recognize them, address them, and move forward. At the end of this post, tell us how we might pray for you if you see yourself in this list.

Living by a “get me through the day” philosophy – You may begin the day with prayer, but surviving the day is your prayer theme. Thriving is not even an option because that won’t happen – even with God’s help.
Losing vision – A leadership vision assumes a commitment far beyond today. Fatigued leaders, though, don’t consider beyond the end of this workday. Anything longer demands too much energy.
Developing poor sleep patterns – The patterns may vary, but they still reflect fatigue: too much sleep as you seek to avoid perceived reality, or too little sleep when you can’t get perceived reality out of your mind. Either way, you’re exhausted.
Declining spiritual disciplines – This change may be one of the first signs of trouble for leaders who have previously been faithful in spiritual disciplines. Bible study becomes only a necessary step in doing your job, and prayer is reduced to emergencies only. Weariness leaves little room for anything that requires “discipline.”
Repeating lessons and sermons – Finding something in the file is much less draining than the hard work of praying about and developing a sermon or lesson. Leadership fatigue convinces you that “nobody will remember the previous time anyway.”
Faking joy and excitement – Few actions are more exhausting than pretending to have joy you don’t have. Every sentence is hard, and every nod of the head feels like a ton of weight on your shoulders. Our weariness is only compounded by our pretense.
Frustrating family members – Leaders who fight to get through the day often let their guard down when they get home – and all the stress of playing the game for eight hours gets dumped on their family. The resultant pain on our family members is hardly fake.
Magnifying minors – What seemed insignificant last month is unexpectedly huge when we’re tired. That simple difference of opinion now feels like blatant disagreement – even rebellion or betrayal of your leadership.
Failing to return emails and phone calls – Communicating with people takes time, energy, and focus. Weary leaders tend to delay responding to others, if they choose to respond at all.
Misdirecting affections – When nothing they do brings joy, fatigued leaders sometimes turn to others for affirmation. That’s when that church member’s look seems sexier, that hug feels like a caress, and that increasingly intimate relationship seems justified.
Decreasing exercise – Professional and emotional fatigue quickly leads to physical tiredness. Exercise becomes that much more difficult.
Focusing on a “grass is greener” syndrome – It’s amazing how leadership fatigue affects the lenses through which we see other options. Every other role, it seems, is suddenly better than our current one.
Avoiding people who speak truth – When we know we’re tired of leading, it’s just easier to avoid people who know us well enough to recognize the problem.

What other symptoms of “leadership fatigue” have you seen? What recommendations would you give a leader facing these issues? If you’re dealing with leadership fatigue, tell us how we might pray for you.

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

photo credit: Decaffeination ! via photopin (license)

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Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Guest in a Worship Service

If you want to make certain guests never return to your church, say one of these sentences to them when they visit.

Indeed, these unfortunate and ill-timed comments almost always guarantee that you will offend guests and make them very uncomfortable. Most of the time guests are already ill at ease since they are in a new place and a new environment. By the way, each of these quotes was actually communicated to a guest in a worship service. My guess is that all ten of them have been said many times . . . too many times.

“You are sitting in my pew/seat.” This sentence was actually said to me when I was a visiting preacher in a church. The entitled church member did not realize I was preaching that day. I had the carnal joy of watching her turn red when I was introduced. And, yes, I did move. She scared me.
“Is your husband/wife with you?” This question is rightly perceived as, “We really don’t want single adults in our church.” Members see their church as family friendly as long as “family” meets their definition.
“Are those your children?” This question is becoming more common with the growth in the adoption of children who are not the same race or ethnicity as their parents. One parent with an adopted child was asked if he got to choose how dark his child would be. I’m serious.
“The service has already begun.” This sentence is rightly understood to mean, “You are late, and you will be disrupting the service.” I saw that happen recently. The family left. I was late too, but I stayed since I was preaching.
“There is not enough room for your family to sit together.” I was visiting a church a few weeks ago that did just the opposite. When larger families came in the service, members actually gave up their seats to accommodate them. Now that’s true servanthood! I bragged on the members when I spoke that morning.
“You will need to step over these people to get to your seat.” No! Please request those seated to move to the center. It’s a church worship service, not a movie theater.
“That’s not the way we do it here.” Of course, you can’t have a worship service where any behavior is acceptable. Most of the time, however, the varieties of worship expressions are absolutely fine. I heard from a lay leader recently who witnessed that sentence spoken to a guest who raised her hand during the worship music. She never returned. What a surprise.
“You don’t look like you are a member here.” Perhaps when this sentence was spoken, the church member meant to convey, “Are you visiting us?” But to the guest it sounded like, “You don’t belong at this place.”
“Have you considered attending the church down the street?” I’m not kidding. Someone shared that comment with me on social media. She was new in town and was visiting churches. She had no idea why the man in the church said that to her, but she never returned to the church.
“The nursery is real full.” To the young parent, this sentence is interpreted one of two ways: “There is not enough room for your child” or “Your child probably won’t get good care.”

I would love to hear some similar comments you have heard. And if you’re wondering how to help your members not say such unwise things, share this blog post with them. They may simply need to learn some basics of guest friendliness.

Let me hear from you.

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