Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 217

The Top Ten Worst Church Guest Experiences

“Our church is really not for you.”

Yep. That comment was really made to a church guest by a church member.

Unbelievable.

I know I have a fascination with church guests. Indeed, I looked at all of the posts I have written on the topic, and they could become several books.

You readers seem to want to discuss the topic as well. One of my posts on church guests has almost reached one million views. That’s crazy.

So I did a fun exercise. I say “fun” in a perverse kind of way. I looked at the hundreds and hundreds of comments you made on church guests, and I compiled my top ten list. To be specific, these are the top ten worst guest experiences my readers have noted.

Church member told the guest the church was not for her because she was African-American. It makes me angry to write those words. The segregationist church remained all-white, but is declining rapidly.
Ushers would not let guests enter the worship service because they were too late. It didn’t matter that the church website did not have the correct time for the service.
Single mom was told she couldn’t leave her four young kids in the children’s area. They let her know they were at capacity. She went home. The last time I heard, she has not visited a church since.
Church member blew his car horn at a guest who was about to take a parking spot. He told her that was his spot. She left. She probably has not returned.
Guest was told she would be more comfortable at another church because of the way she was dressed. She couldn’t afford the country club attire of the snotty church.
The pastor announced in the service that their small groups were open only to members. In fact, he specifically said the church does not allow guests in the groups.
A family of six was told to move from the pew where they were seated. These guests did not know they were in the matriarch’s pew. The guests were not asked to move; they were told to move. They did. Straight out the door.
A guest was told he was singing too loudly. The member with the decibel monitor must have caught him.
A member pulled aside a guest and told him how terrible the pastor was. The guest did not even know the member. And he never came back to get to know him better.
A single mom with three kids in tow went to three locked doors in the rain. There was not a sign to direct guests to the entrance. But the church members knew exactly where to go.

There is no humor in these ten awful experiences. It’s the sad story of country club churches, holy huddles, and mean church members.

Let me hear from you.

Seven Reasons Not to Have Multiple Styles of Worship – Rainer on Leadership #267

Podcast Episode #267

SUBSCRIBE: iTunes • RSS • Stitcher • TuneIn Radio • Google Play

In this first part of a two-part series on worship styles, we look at why you shouldn’t have multiple styles of worship at your church.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

Multiple service styles can create a sense of superiority or inferiority in a church.
When churches have multiple worship styles, it’s often easy to tell which the pastor prefers.
There are a lot of things your church can do, but that doesn’t mean that you should actually do them.
Churches have made themselves so incredibly busy and complex.
Multiple worship styles can drain resources and people from other ministries of the church.
Sometimes change is just not possible because of change resistance in the church.
More than a few pastors have changed churches because the worship style changed and they could not adapt.
Blended worship is an actual style, it is not a compromise between traditional and contemporary.

The seven reasons not to have multiple styles of worship are:

It can created a divided congregation.
It is usually difficult to find quality musicians for the multiple styles.
The stepchild syndrome is common.
It can create a misaligned congregation.
It can add to the busyness of the church.
Conflict can arise over preferred times of worship.
It can force the preacher to make choices as well.


Episode Sponsors

Are you getting prepared for the changing ministry landscape? Get your Master of Divinity degree at Midwestern Seminary. The M.Div—Midwestern’s flagship degree program—is their primary track for ministry preparation. At just 81 hours, the Midwestern M.Div offers a complete foundation for full-time ministry leaders, offering everything you need, and nothing you don’t. Join other students in vibrant Kansas City as you train in a unique collaborative environment focused on the local church or study online in your current ministry context. Midwestern Seminary is developing a new culture of discipleship devoted to the local church and committed to taking God’s unchanging Word into a rapidly changing world. Join the movement today.

Find out more at mbts.edu/mdiv.

Vanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. They’ve helped hundreds of churches just like yours find their church staff and are uniquely geared to help you discern who God is calling to lead your church.

Find out more about Vanderbloemen Search Group by visiting WeStaffTheChurch.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Who Moved My Pulpit?

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast

Who Moved My Pulpit?

Autopsy of a Deceased Pastor

They are the walking dead.

They are dead emotionally.

Their vision and passion is dead.

Their spiritual life has little life at all.

They are burned out.

Many have died vocationally. Others are waiting for burial.

Autopsies are not a pleasant topic. I get that. But I would be negligent if I did not share with you about the numbers of pastors who are dead in ministry. You need to know. You need to grasp this reality. You need to pray for them. You need to walk alongside them.

How did these pastors die? My figurative autopsies uncovered eight common patterns. Some pastors manifest four or five of them. Many manifest all of them.

They said “yes” to too many members. In order to avoid conflict and criticism, these pastors tried to please most church members. Their path was not sustainable. Their path was unhealthy, leading to death.
They said “no” to their families. For many of these pastors, their families became an afterthought or no thought at all. Many of their children are now grown and resent the church. They have pledged never to return. Their spouses felt betrayed, as if they were no longer loved, desired, or wanted. Some of these pastors have lost their families to divorce and estrangement.
They got too busy to remain in the Word and in prayer. Simply stated, they got too busy for God. Read Acts 6:4 again in the context of all of Acts 6:1-7. The early church leaders saw this danger, and they took a courageous path to avoid the trap.
They died a slow death from the steady drip of criticisms. Pastors are human. Yeah, I know; that’s an obvious statement. We sometimes expect them to take the ongoing criticisms from members as if they were rocks. But a steady drip can destroy even the most solid rocks.
They were attacked by the cartel. Not all churches have cartels, but many do. A church cartel is an alliance of bullies, bully-followers, carnal Christians, and even non-Christians in the church. Their goal is power. Their obstacle is the pastor. Many pastors have died because cartels killed them.
They lost their vision and their passion. This cause of death is both a symptom and a cause. Like high blood pressure is a symptom of other problems, it can also lead to death. Pastors without vision and passion are dying pastors.
They sought to please others before God. People-pleasing pastors can fast become dying pastors. The problem is that you can never please all the members all the time. If pastors try, they die.
They had no defenders in the church. Imagine a dying person with no medical intervention. That person will die. Imagine pastors without members who will stand by these leaders. Imagine pastors where members are too cowardly to stand up to cartels. If you can imagine that, then you can imagine a dying pastor. By the way, this form of death is often the most painful. The pastor is dying without anyone to help or intervene.

Autopsies are not fun. Talking about dying is not fun.

But if you are a church member, you can be a part of the solution.

Will you?

Pray for Minot First Church of the Nazarene

Location: Minot, North Dakota

Pastor: Nathan Nye

Weekly Worship: 10:45 am, Central

Fast Facts: Minot First Church of the Nazarene has been a part of the Minot community for more than 100 years. Located in northern North Dakota, it is still working to make in impact in its local community and the world. Please pray for their upcoming community-wide children’s events this month. They are hositng both a Trunk-or-Treat and a Fall Festival later this month. Pray that the connections made at these events would lead to gospel conversations.

Website: MinotFirstNaz.org

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well.

If you would like to have your church featured in the “Pray for…” series, fill out this information form..

Notable Voices: October 8, 2016

5 Steps to Simplifying Your Church’s Schedule — Eric Geiger

For many good reasons, church leaders often desire to simplify their schedules.

 

New Research: Pastors Prefer ‘Undecided’ to Clinton or Trump — LifeWay Research

A new report from Nashville-based LifeWay Research found 4 out of 10 Protestant pastors are undecided about which candidate to vote for. A third (32 percent) plan to vote for Donald Trump. One in 5 (19 percent) plans to vote for Hillary Clinton. Four percent support Gary Johnson. Three percent do not plan to vote.

 

3 Quick Questions Before Quitting Your Church — Tim Challies

More often than not, we leave churches for what we might consider discretionary reasons. We don’t need to leave, but choose to leave. And we typically do this when we feel weary of the people, when we feel like they aren’t interested in us anymore, when relationships feel cool rather than warm, when we feel like we need a fresh start.

 

Shut Down the Bus Tours: What Older Church Members Should Really Be Doing — Carey Nieuwhof

The default in many churches is simple: provide programming for over-50 adults that caters to their needs: potluck lunches, Bible studies and social gatherings for their demographic, and, of course, bus trips.

The purpose of this post is to ask one simple question.

Really?

 

6 Ways You Can Show Your Pastor Appreciation This Month — Kendal Drinkwine

Every October is Pastor Appreciation Month, and it’s one of our favorite months here at Vanderbloemen. Your church can have fun showing your pastor(s) how grateful you are for their leadership. Here are a few ideas of ways you can show your church leadership just how much you appreciate them.

 

3 Rationales for Using Social Media to Promote Your Church — Chris Martin

Here are three reasons why ministries MUST use social media, or at least consider doing so…

 

Cultural Crisis and the Church, featuring Dr. Albert Mohler – Rainer on Leadership #266

Podcast Episode #266

SUBSCRIBE: iTunes • RSS • Stitcher • TuneIn Radio • Google Play

Dr. R. Albert Mohler, Jr., joins us to talk about cultural issues in the church and how pastors can best minister in our changing cultural landscape.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

“In about 25 years time, we’ve seen the most concentrated, high-velocity social change that human beings have ever experienced.”
“We need pastors whose intuition and worldview are shaped by the Scripture, not culture.”
“We need pastors who can abstract themselves from culture and think strategically about it.”
“Millennials at seminary are not a product of nominal Christianity. They have a life shaping relationship with Jesus.”
“A church needs to be very clear in terms of its policies on whom it will marry.”
“Pastor, you’re not wrong when you think that the whole world has changed. It has.”
“Defining reality is an important part of Christian preaching.”
“Every conversation is an opportunity to be a gospel conversation.”

About Dr. Mohler:

Dr. R. Albert Mohler Jr. serves as president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and Boyce College and has been recognized by such influential publications as Time and Christianity Today as a leader among American evangelicals. In addition to his presidential duties, Dr. Mohler hosts two programs: “The Briefing,” a daily analysis of news and events from a Christian worldview; and “Thinking in Public,” a series of conversations with the day’s leading thinkers. He also writes a popular blog and a regular commentary on moral, cultural and theological issues at albertmohler.com.

Episode Sponsors

Vanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. They’ve helped hundreds of churches just like yours find their church staff and are uniquely geared to help you discern who God is calling to lead your church.

Find out more about Vanderbloemen Search Group by visiting WeStaffTheChurch.com.

Midwestern Seminary, one of the fastest growing seminaries in North America, exists to train leaders For The Church. The local church is God’s “Plan A” for the proclamation of the gospel, and there is no Plan B. And this is Midwestern’s vision and heartbeat—equipping pastors and other ministry leaders who are called to expand God’s mission in the world through the local church. At Midwestern Seminary: they train leaders ‘For The Church.’

Visit them online at MBTS.edu and start your ministry training today.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Who Moved My Pulpit?

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast

AlbertMohler.com
The Briefing
Thinking in Public
The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
We Cannot Be Silent

Seven Dying Practices in Church Communications

By Jonathan Howe

In a previous article, I listed emerging technologies in churches. Today, I focus on communications and practices that are declining to the point of non-existence. Your church might still use some of these, but if the trends continue, you won’t be using them for long.

Technological advancements and cultural changes have ushered in new practices in church communications. As a result, these seven practices are not only being replaced, they are dying.

Clip Art. Thanks to the rise of easy-to-use and affordable graphic design, many churches have all but done away with clip art. What was once a staple of church bulletins has been replaced in many instances by designs that look professional and stylish.
Bad Fonts. We all know the names—Papyrus, Comic Sans, Copperplate Gothic, and Algerian. If you do any kind of design work, you’re cringing right now. I know the Golden State Warriors have almost singlehandedly made Copperplate Gothic cool again, but there’s no reason to use any of these. With free Google Fonts and scores of free or cheap font websites at your disposal, there’s no need for your church to use trite, overused fonts in anything that you design or print.
Printed and Mailed Newsletters. Speaking of which, if you’re still printing and mailing church newsletters, you’re in the minority. Email newsletters have all but replaced the printed and mailed church newsletter. They are quicker to deliver, cheaper to produce, and are often more effective in communicating information to your congregation.
Verbal Announcements. Of the items on this list, verbal announcements are dying the slowest death. But many churches are opting for video announcements or slides in lieu of taking time out of a worship service for someone to give the announcements.
Phone Trees. Social media, email newsletters, and texting have all but eliminated phone trees. What would possibly take hours in the past can now be accomplished in an instant through one mass text or email.
Church Facebook Groups. When Facebook first began offering pages and groups, many churches set up groups in lieu of pages. That’s been corrected over the past few years. Facebook groups are still used, but typically it’s not the main, outward-facing presence a church has on Facebook.
Signup Forms. Online registration and payment systems have contributed to the death of signup forms. I can remember tables of signup forms from when I was a kid. Now, my church has several online forms where I can register my kids for events, sign up for Wednesday night dinner reservations, or pay for a book to use in my small group.

These seven practices served us well over the years—with the possible exceptions of clip art and bad fonts—but are now dying. Many church members may lament the loss of these practices. However, I’m confident that church communications are better off because we’ve improved these practices and—in many instances—left them for dead.

Does your church still use any of these? Are there other church communications practices not listed here which are also dying?

Jonathan Howe serves as Director of Strategic Initiatives at LifeWay Christian Resources, the host and producer of Rainer on Leadership and SBC This Week. Jonathan writes weekly at ThomRainer.com on topics ranging from social media to websites and church communications. Connect with Jonathan on Twitter at @Jonathan_Howe.

Seven Key Reasons People Choose a Church

Why did you choose to come to this church?

I ask the question hundreds of times each year, especially to people who joined a church within the past year.

Now we have new research that gives us specific reasons why people decide on a particular church. As I noted in my previous post, I am grateful to Pew Research for their massive study on the behavioral patterns of members and guests.

In their most recent study, the respondents noted seven key reasons for choosing a church. They were allowed to offer more than one reason. Here are the top seven responses:

Quality of sermons (83%). The primacy of the pulpit is the number one factor for those looking for a church home. These results are very similar to my research published in the book, Surprising Insights from the Unchurched, fifteen years ago. Unfortunately, the demands on many pastors make it difficult for them to put the time they need in sermon preparation.
Feeling welcomed by leaders (79%). It is so important for pastors and staff to take the lead in welcoming guests. No, they are not supposed to do all the welcoming, but their role has a huge impact.
Style of services (74%). I would love to be able to unpack this response a bit more. One thing, however, is clear. People are still choosing churches by the styles of worship of the congregations. The numbers are overwhelming. Three out of four church seekers say worship style is a factor for the church they choose.
Location (70%). I want to be careful not to say things these numbers don’t mean to say. But I would surmise that location is more important today than it was ten years ago. This reality would at least partly explain the dramatic increase of multi-site churches. Churches are going to the communities where the people are. It also prompts us to follow the trends of large regional churches. Will people more and more prefer a church in their own community rather than driving to the regional church?
Education for kids (56%). This number is incredibly high, especially since many families do not have kids at home. Obviously those who do have children at home consider this issue vitally important. “Education” likely refers to more than the teaching ministry to children; it probably encompasses the total scope of children’s ministry. I have said on more than one occasion the first staff member I would bring to the church after the pastor would be a children’s minister.
Having friends/family in the congregation (48%). Relational connections are very important. We see this issue to be so important that we created a ministry (Invite Your One) to engender an attitude of inviting. Those same connections play a crucial role in the assimilation process in the church as well.
Availability of volunteering opportunities (42%). This factor was very encouraging to me. People no longer want just to sit and soak; they want to get involved. If guests know there are opportunities to get involved quickly in the church, they are more likely to choose that church. I have no doubt the Millennials are instrumental in this number being as high as it is.

From my perspective, these seven factors are not huge surprises; they are really affirmations of much of what we have been sharing with you.

The real issue is not the intrigue of this research; it is what you and your church will do about it. I would love to hear your comments and ideas.

Why Churches Really Aren’t Friendly to Guests – Rainer on Leadership #265

Podcast Episode #265

SUBSCRIBE: iTunes • RSS • Stitcher • TuneIn Radio • Google Play

Its rare to find a church who doesn’t think they are friendly. But don’t be fooled, not all churches are friendly. They just think they are.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

Many churches are not friendly because the people are in holy huddles.
You have to have an eye for those you do not know in the church if you want to be genuinely friendly.
I know they’re probably out there, but I’ve yet to meet a church guest who likes the stand-and-greet time.
The stand-and-greet time can (and often does) become a substitute for genuine friendliness.
Are your announcements in code or could someone unfamiliar with your church understand them?
After the pastor, the first staff member I would hire is probably a children’s minister.
If your church wants to reach young families, you have to be reaching and ministering to their kids.
Guest friendliness is an overflow of who you are the rest of the week.

The six reasons why churches really aren’t friendly to guests are:

The holy huddle syndrome.
The stand-and-greet satisfier.
The I-don’t-live-here reality.
The insider language mystery.
The unhappy kid/unhappy parent problem.
The 6 + 1 dilemma.


Episode Sponsors

Are you getting prepared for the changing ministry landscape? Get your Master of Divinity degree at Midwestern Seminary. The M.Div—Midwestern’s flagship degree program—is their primary track for ministry preparation. At just 81 hours, the Midwestern M.Div offers a complete foundation for full-time ministry leaders, offering everything you need, and nothing you don’t. Join other students in vibrant Kansas City as you train in a unique collaborative environment focused on the local church or study online in your current ministry context. Midwestern Seminary is developing a new culture of discipleship devoted to the local church and committed to taking God’s unchanging Word into a rapidly changing world. Join the movement today.

Find out more at mbts.edu/mdiv.

Vanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. They’ve helped hundreds of churches just like yours find their church staff and are uniquely geared to help you discern who God is calling to lead your church.

Find out more about Vanderbloemen Search Group by visiting WeStaffTheChurch.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Who Moved My Pulpit?

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast

Secret Guest Survey
Church Facility Audit

Six Reasons Congregations Have Become Sticky

Wouldn’t you love it if everyone who connected with your church showed up every week?

Some churches probably could not handle the crowd.

But most church leaders would like to have that problem.

Thanks to the excellent work of Pew Research, we now have some clear reasons why some churches have members who attend much more frequently than other churches. In other words, we have a clearer picture of what a sticky church looks like.

Pew Research began a series of studies of the behavioral patterns of church attenders and non-attenders in 2014 by interviewing more than 35,000 adults. They now have a total of four reports, one of the most massive studies of the church landscape in America ever conducted.

In my first report on this study, we want to answer the question: “What factors cause church members to attend more frequently?” Respondents could only provide one response. Here is a summary of the six major reasons they gave:

The church members grew as disciples (49%). So here is the “shocking” news. If we intentionally lead our members to become closer followers of Christ, they will attend with greater frequency. Though the respondents answered with a variety of descriptions (became more religious, need God more, more mature, etc.) nearly half of those surveyed indicated that following Christ more closely gives them a greater desire to attend church.
Changes in life issues (19%). We know that major changes in people’s lives can lead them to greater dependence on God and, thus, attendance in the church. But are we intentionally reaching out to those members who are struggling with family issues, financial issues, or grief? It’s a major sticky issue.
Scheduling and time (10%). One in ten attenders will come to church more frequently if they have greater freedom in their schedules. Some churches have grasped this reality and are providing worship options, for example, for those who must work on Sundays.
Habit/discipline (6%). The responses are no longer in double digits at this point, but they are important. Someone who develops the discipline of going to church is likely to become more active. He or she makes church attendance a priority.
Desire for greater fellowship (4%). Though we cannot know the specific motivations behind a greater desire for fellowship, we can make certain our churches have ready venues to move members in that direction. A church with groups has the greatest answer to those asking questions about becoming more connected with other believers.
Found a congregation they liked more (3%). Some attendees have to make a change in churches to attend more frequently. But look at the numbers carefully. Only 3% are in this category. That means 97% of those who are attending church more frequently have probably not changed churches. Your church can be a sticky church.

The number one reason for attendance decline in churches is members attending less frequently. Thanks to Pew Research, we now know more about congregations where attendance frequency is actually increasing.

In my next article from this research, I will look at the reasons people visit churches in the first place. In the meantime, let me hear from you.