Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 114

How to Disagree with Your Pastor

My disposition has been noted on more than one occasion by others and by me.

I love pastors. I respect pastors. I honor pastors.

In the course of a week, someone will note the occasional outlier. They will point out the negatives of pastors. They don’t take care of the members. They are in it for the money. They are dictators and bullies. They don’t lead. And on and on and on.

Of course, anytime you look at nearly 400,000 people, you can certainly find the bad apples in the batch. It seems like some church members make it the goal of their lives to focus on the negatives of pastors. We have a few of those who show up on this blog.

But this one thing I know: most pastors are godly and honorable leaders. They love their church members. They love their communities. They love their families. They love the God they serve.

Are pastors infallible? Of course not. You know as well as I that no pastor is perfect. They will make mistakes. They will have a bad day. They will get frustrated.

Should you, then, disagree with your pastor? Should you confront these leaders with something they have done wrong? Should you point out their omissions? Let me respond by offering ten guidelines for you to consider.

Pray first. Okay, this one is obvious. In the heat of the moment, this one can be obviously forgotten too.

Understand the frequency of the criticism issue. Look at this example. If your church’s average worship attendance is 100, you likely have around 200 active members (“active” defined loosely). If every church member took the liberty to disagree or criticize the pastor once a year, your pastor would be dealing with a critic two of every three days.

Understand the negative magnification issue. If you are disagreeing with or criticizing your pastor, you obviously understand the humanity of pastors. They aren’t perfect people. And though they would hope otherwise, most of them will obsess over your criticism. For many of them, one criticism has a ten times greater impact than one praise or compliment.

Make sure it is absolutely necessary. If this issue is one of preference or not getting something your way, drop it. Your criticism will likely do a lot more harm than good.

Don’t begin with, “I love you pastor, but . . . “ Most pastors will only hear everything after the “but.” The prefatory phrase will typically be perceived as insincere.

Don’t say, “People are saying . . . “ Speak for yourself, not the cowards in anonymity. Any leader should discount or ignore “people are saying” criticisms.

Don’t express your disagreement on a Sunday. Don’t criticize pastors right before or after they preach. In fact, hold off all disagreements for a day other than Sunday. If you wait a day or two, the urgency to criticize may go away.

Make clear you want to hear the pastor’s perspective. Too many disagreements are pet peeves or personal preferences. If you have a sincere and serious disagreement, you will want to hear the pastor’s perspective. Listen as much as speaking, if not more.

Seek to be a part of the solution. Criticizing and stating negatives are easy. Most of us are adept in finding problems. If you really care about your church and your pastor, you will be willing to offer a solution and to be part of the solution.

Pray again. If you have made the move toward disagreeing with your pastor, pray after the fact. Pray for your pastor. Pray for yourself. Pray for you words to be received well. Pray for your church.

I was in conversation with a pastor called to ministry from the business world. His call was genuine I am sure, but he admitted he was a frequent critic of his pastors before he became one. “I often knew a better way, and I wasn’t hesitant to let my pastors know,” he said. “Now that I am on the other side, I can’t believe how insensitive and even ungodly I was. The life of a pastor is so stressful. If I only knew then . . .”

Indeed.

Pray for Calvary Bible Church

Location: Columbus, Ohio

Pastor: Eric Sipe

Weekly Worship: 10:45 AM, Eastern

Fast Facts: Calvary Bible Church is more than 75 years old and enjoys a history of Gospel light in the center of Columbus. They minister to many ethnic groups in Columbus including the Chinese, Hispanic, Korean, and African nations. They count it a joy to see the Gospel changing hearts and growing many in Christlikeness. They are also seeking others who will join them in planting a church in various parts of Columbus that are growing in populationPlease pray for this church planting effort for the next year. Pray both for finances and for people to join in reaching Columbus with the gospel. They have a Christian School as well where making disciples of Jesus is the focus. While it takes much energy and financial backing, it has been greatly used to affect many for Jesus. Please pray for increased enrollment and for this next generation of young people to grow up to love, learn, and live Jesus.

Website: CBCOhio.org

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well.

If you would like to have your church featured in the “Pray for…” series, fill out this information form..

Notable Voices and the Week in Review: July 27, 2019

From Around the Web:

What to Do if Your Church Won’t Change — Mike Brooks

In my ever-increasing passion for right church practice, I’m wary of leveling claims against others’ ways of doing church based sheerly on the perceived relevance (or lack thereof) of their methods to our cultural moment. Countless times, I’ve been involved in or privy to conversations amongst young leaders and believers whose frustration is rooted in their contention that their church just doesn’t “get it.” My advice in return, for whatever it’s worth, is often to tell them just to stay. Express those frustrations in a healthy way, to brothers and sisters who will let the thoughts land as needed, but don’t be tempted to let mole-hill issues become the mountain-sized barricade between you and the opportunity to be used by God to serve others.

 

14 Ways to Create Harmony on a Church Staff — Facts & Trends

There are many positions I haven’t held, but as pastor, I’ve worked in the church office all my adult life. I recently put out a call to a group of friends for advice for someone going to work in a church office for the first time. Here are some of their answers. Come to think of it, these are pieces of good advice whether you’re just starting out working on a church staff or you’ve been doing this for decades.

 

12 Distractions during Worship Services — Chuck Lawless

Worship is frequently a controversial topic, and it’s not my goal to add to those debates. Based on my work as a church consultant, reports from our consultation “secret shoppers,” interviews with church members, and my own experiences, though, here are 12 far-too-common distractions during worship services:

 

How to Use Technology in a Distinctly Christian Way — Tim Challies

Throughout church history, Christians have used the new technologies of the time to further God’s kingdom. The Internet has been no exception. In this video, Tim Challies talks about how Christians have used technologies including the Internet and blogs and how they have had both benefits and drawbacks.

 

This Week at ThomRainer.com:





















Seven Fascinating Insights into Where Pastors Do Their Sermon Preparation

Pastors spent an average of 22 hours a week in sermon preparation, and the pastoral activity which requires the most time often goes unseen by most church members…READ MORE

Seven Reasons for Optimism in the American Church

New churches replacing dying churches
New churches truly becoming evangelistic
Balance of practical and classical training for pastors and staff
Better use of facilities
Millennials moving church members to the community
Re-examination of church budgets
Church revitalization
















Six Ways Toxic Members Deter Invitations to Church

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Rainer on Leadership

http://media.blubrry.com/thomrainer/s3.amazonaws.com/rainerpodcast/Rainer-on-Leadership/Episode556.mp3








Six Reasons a Healthy Culture Is Imperative for Inviting Others to Church

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Rainer on Leadership

http://media.blubrry.com/thomrainer/s3.amazonaws.com/rainerpodcast/Rainer-on-Leadership/Episode557.mp3








Six Reasons You Should Invite People to a Revitalizing Church

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Revitalize & Replant

http://media.blubrry.com/revitalizereplant/s3.amazonaws.com/rainerpodcast/Revitalize-and-Replant/RR-Episode103.mp3

Six Reasons a Healthy Culture Is Imperative for Inviting Others to Church – Rainer on Leadership #557

Podcast Episode #557

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Church culture is important to the outreach of a church, and subsequently, how much members will invite others. Today we discuss how inviting can create and improve the church culture.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

Church culture is important because it is to be a reflection of the gospel in a local church.
If you provide invitation cards to church members, they are more likely to invite others to church than if they don’t have something to hand to others.
Having a healthy church culture has much more to do than the worship style of the church being “cool.”
A welcome team is a worthless team if it is not a joyous team.

The six reasons we discuss are:

Invitations are natural and desired.
The first-time guest becomes an inviter.
The welcome team loves their ministry.
The pastor is naturally inclined to encourage invitations to church.
The worship spirit is strong.
Energy and time are expended on those things that really matter.

Resources mentioned in today’s podcast

Church Answers
Six Ways Toxic Members Deter Invitations to Church – Rainer on Leadership #556
Invite Your One
Sample Invitation card

Rainer on Leadership is a member of the LifeWay Leadership Podcast Network

Episode Sponsors

The mission at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary is to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ by equipping students to serve the church and fulfill the Great Commission. The school offers more than 40 different degree programs, including the new Master of Arts in Church Revitalization in partnership with Church Answers and the Revitalization Network. This 37-hour degree is designed to help students move established churches from flatlining to flourishing.

Learn about this program and more by visiting sebts.edu. Where are you going? Southeastern will help you get there.

[image error]Vanderbloemen has 12 Vanderbloemen Differences that allow them to serve their clients better than anyone else. One of those is Theology Matters. Vanderbloemen’s staff has more seminary and theological experience than any other search firm with 250+ collective years of church leadership experience.

To learn more about all 12 of Vanderbloemen’s Differences, visit VanderDifference.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Becoming a Welcoming Church.

Six Reasons You Should Invite People to a Revitalizing Church – Revitalize & Replant #103

SUBSCRIBE TODAY:
iTunes • RSS • Stitcher • TuneIn Radio • Google Play • Spotify

Members of churches in need of revitalization can sometimes be hesitant to invite others. Today we explain why you should encourage members to invite others even when things may not seem encouraging.

Episode Highlights:

You shouldn’t be timid about inviting others to church just because the church is in need of revitalization.
Revitalization in a church can begin with just one person.
Every church has problems. Pastor, you have the choice to focus on the problems or the opportunities God has given you.
One of the key roles of church leadership is to point people to God’s possibilities.

The six reasons we discuss are:

It creates a biblical outward focus.
You ask others to join the mission.
It propels people into the community.
It takes the focus off the problems and on to God’s opportunities.
More people want to make a difference than attend an event.
It is conducive to leading the church to become younger.

Resources mentioned in this episode include:

Invite Your One
ChurchAnswers.com
Find more resources at the Revitalize & Replant page at ThomRainer.com


Revitalize & Replant is sponsored by the North American Mission Board and ChurchReplanters.com. More than 10% of churches in North America are at risk of closing and the North American Mission Board is committed to reversing this trend by decreasing the death rate of existing churches while simultaneously increasing the birth rate of new churches. To learn more about what it means to become a replanting pastor or to explore resources for replanting and revitalization in your own church, visit ChurchReplanters.com.
Submit Your Question:

Do you have a question about church revitalization or replanting for us to use on the podcast? Visit the podcast page to submit your question. If we use it on the show, you’ll get a copy of Autopsy of a Deceased Church and Reclaiming Glory.

Seven Reasons for Optimism in the American Church

Seven Reasons for Optimism in the American Church

New churches replacing dying churches
New churches truly becoming evangelistic
Balance of practical and classical training for pastors and staff
Better use of facilities
Millennials moving church members to the community
Re-examination of church budgets
Church revitalization

Some highlights from today’s Rainer Report:

There are a lot of new churches replacing dying churches.
Programs aren’t the purpose of a church.
The best way to share the gospel is to share the gospel.
We are starting to see more theological training balanced with practical training. This is so needed.

Six Ways Toxic Members Deter Invitations to Church – Rainer on Leadership #556

Podcast Episode #556

SUBSCRIBE:
iTunes • RSS • Stitcher • TuneIn Radio • Google Play • iHeart Radio • Spotify

When toxic members are present in a church, resources are spent on overcoming the fallout of toxic members. As a result, members are less likely to invite others to church. Today, we explain six reasons why.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

Personal invitations to church are a great beginning point to get your church moving toward an outward focus.
New members and guests are often seen as threats to church bullies and toxic members because they can potentially upset the balance of power in the church.
Being a welcoming church requires a heart change, not just a change in actions.
Pastors are often hesitant to deal with toxic members because there is a fear for job security.

The six ways we discuss are:

Members are not inclined to invite others to an unhealthy culture.
Most toxic members do not like new people in the church because it dilutes their power base.
Toxic members hinder the welcoming process for guests.
Pastors are hesitant to encourage people to invite.
Resources of time and energy are spent on toxicity rather than inviting.
Toxic cultures reduce the volunteer base.

Resources mentioned in today’s podcast

Invite Your One

Rainer on Leadership is a member of the LifeWay Leadership Podcast Network

Episode Sponsors

Vanderbloemen has been serving churches for nine years, but did you know that Vanderbloemen also serves Christian schools, nonprofits, and Christian businesses? So if you’re listening, and you know a Christian school, nonprofit, or values-based business that is hiring, contact our friends at Vanderbloemen for your staffing needs.

For more information, visit Vanderbloemen.com.

The mission at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary is to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ by equipping students to serve the church and fulfill the Great Commission. The school offers more than 40 different degree programs, including the new Master of Arts in Church Revitalization in partnership with Church Answers and the Revitalization Network. This 37-hour degree is designed to help students move established churches from flatlining to flourishing.

Learn about this program and more by visiting sebts.edu. Where are you going? Southeastern will help you get there.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Scrappy Church.

Seven Fascinating Insights into Where Pastors Do Their Sermon Preparation

Many years ago my team did a time study of a pastor’s work week. The study group of pastors spent an average of 22 hours a week in sermon preparation. The study is dated but telling. The pastoral activity which requires the most time often goes unseen by most church members. Indeed, some members think pastors spend a lot of time enjoying coffee shops and listening to music through their ear buds.

To the contrary, most of these pastors are actually working on their sermons. The sound coming through the ear buds may be music or simply white noise. They are attempting to drown out the noisy distractions around them.

Is the coffee shop the most common place for pastors’ sermon preparations? In the now famous words of Rainer and Jonathan Howe, “It depends.” This past week, I asked pastors on social media for their feedback. Let’s look at seven insights into where pastors said they actually do their sermon preparation.

The location is largely personality-driven. In our survey, two different personality types emerged among the pastors’ location preference. One group cannot work effectively unless people are around. They are actually distracted by inactivity. The other group of pastors expressed the opposite sentiment. They have to be in a place with no audible or people distractions. They want to be alone. Though I don’t know for certain, I suspect this factor may be related to extraversion or introversion. As an introvert, I definitely prefer to work in solitude.

The church office is the least favorite location for sermon preparation. Pastors have learned that being in the church office means you are available at a whim to church members. Many pastors share stories of how, in the eyes of some church members, preparing a sermon in your office means you have time to chat for a few minutes . . . or an hour.

The place of sermon preparation is a factor of routine for many pastors. They have become accustomed to a place conducive to study, so they stick with it. Similarly, many pastors try to create a routine schedule. For example, one pastor shared that he tries to get most of his sermon complete on Monday mornings and Tuesday mornings. He awakens at 5:00 am on Monday morning and works until noon. He then works on the sermon another five hours on Tuesday morning. Of course, pastors understand their schedules and routines are subject to emergencies and necessary interruptions.

Coffee shops are popular sites, and seem to be growing in popularity. Many pastors have a specific coffee place they go. Others like to rotate coffee shops in the community just to be visible to others. Of course, these pastors are among those who strongly prefer to be around people when they work. I don’t like to be around people when I work. In fact, I usually don’t like to be around people at all.

Home offices are a distant second for places to prepare sermons. While home offices are used by many pastors for sermon preparation, that location is a distant second to coffee shops. Some pastors have studies as a part of their bedrooms. Some have places set aside in their garages. A few are fortunate to have dedicated rooms in their homes for study, particularly for sermon preparation.

Rarely is the place a silent place. Very few pastors work in total silence regardless of the location. Even if they are in a garage alone, they prefer some type of noise, such as background music or white noise. Total silence for most pastors is a major distraction wherever they prepare their sermons.

One response was my favorite. Obviously, a single response is not usually worthy to note in a post on insights. I must, however, give a shout out to the pastor who said his favorite place of sermon preparation was the offertory right before the sermon. I laughed. He was either humorous or honest or both.

Thank you to all you pastors who participated in this social media survey. Please feel free to add your own comments and insights to this post.

Pray for North Chapel

Location: Fountain Hills, Arizona

Pastor: Bobby Brewer

Weekly Worship: 9:30 AM, Pacific

Fast Facts: North Chapel is a non-denominational Bible church that was founded in 2009. It is located in a small town that is home to many snowbirds in the winter. The population varies from 23,000 in the winter months to 11,000 in the summer. It is in an area that is below the national average in church attendance and is bordered by two Native American reservations and a retirement community. In 2016 Bobby Brewer was called to pastor the church and has been striving to lead the church through some changes to bring revitalization. God has blessed with some growth but there’s still much work to be done. On October, 13 North Chapel will lauch a second Sunday morning service. Please pray for laborers, infrastructure, and God’s favor upon this move and that it will enable the church to broaden its reach into the community. Finally, please pray that they will continue to make some inroads into the reservations and that they would increase their influence around the growing retirement community of Rio Verde.

Website: NorthChapel.net

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well.

If you would like to have your church featured in the “Pray for…” series, fill out this information form..

Notable Voices and the Week in Review: July 20, 2019

From Around the Web:

10 Ways Leaders Shape Their Teams — Eric Geiger

The popular and often-quoted leadership axiom “speed of the leader, speed of the team” captures the reality that the leader of a group of people sets the tone and pace for the group. Of course, there are exceptions. There are times that gifted people with high integrity give themselves fully to their work despite their leader being disengaged or disingenuous. But often the axiom is true. Healthy teams are typically led by healthy leaders. Here are ten ways leaders shape the teams they lead:

Loving the Church But Dreading Sunday Morning — Facts & Trends

I’m a committed church member who is present at every Sunday gathering, loves Jesus and His bride, and is passionate about ministry. Most days, however, I don’t look forward to going to church. While this disconnect may sound strange on the surface, the rationale behind it is pretty simple. Like many people, I struggle with social anxiety.

10 Reasons Pastors Should Develop Relationships with Missionaries — Chuck Lawless

Pastors, I’m asking for the personal privilege to speak directly to you with this post (and, Southern Baptist pastors, be sure to read my note at the end). The title of this post states my single point: all of us simply must develop more relationships with missionaries. Here’s why:

5 Resolutions for Pastoral Ministry — Brad Gray

Though I will never equate the theological prowess or eloquence Jonathan Edwards displayed throughout his evangelistic life, I am, nonetheless, determined to resolve myself to the Lord’s Spirit and grace for the duration of my ministry. As I embark upon the calling to which God has given me, I am, therefore, personally proposing and publicly proclaiming the following resolutions, which, under the grace and faithfulness of God, I hope to maintain and execute for the sake of his name.

This Week at ThomRainer.com:





















Seven Reasons Why We Need to Move Beyond the Church Size Debate

God gives us small churches. God gives us mid-size churches. God gives us large and very large churches. They are all part of His plan…READ MORE

Leading a Church from One of 12 Leadership Personalities

Too many pastors are told what they are doing wrong; with the Revitalizer Profile we work on celebrating how God has wired them positively…READ MORE

Seven Reasons Why More Churches Are Calling on Interventionists

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Rainer on Leadership

http://media.blubrry.com/thomrainer/s3.amazonaws.com/rainerpodcast/Rainer-on-Leadership/Episode554.mp3








Why the Pendulum on Church Metrics May Be Swinging Too Far

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Rainer on Leadership

http://media.blubrry.com/thomrainer/s3.amazonaws.com/rainerpodcast/Rainer-on-Leadership/Episode555.mp3








Six Common Reasons Revitalization or a Replant Never Gets Started

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Revitalize & Replant

http://media.blubrry.com/revitalizereplant/s3.amazonaws.com/rainerpodcast/Revitalize-and-Replant/RR-Episode102.mp3