Molly Fletcher's Blog, page 21

3 Dynamic Team Building Icebreakers

In any field, a successful team turns disadvantages into advantages. These groups understand each other, their passions and fears, and how to bring out one another’s best.

How do you do that with a new team? Or a team that isn’t functioning as well as it could? How do you help the team thrive despite individual experiences and personalities? Could your great team get even better?

Here are three dynamic icebreakers that we use in our teambuilding work. No matter how long a corporate or sports team has been together, these 3 exercises help team members bond and become better together.

Team Icebreaker 1 : Hopes and Fears

This activity will help take the pulse of your team, to better understand what gets them motivated and what worries them. By revealing fears in a non-threatening way, the team can discuss these potential barriers. It’s a great exercise for teams with new members or a team preparing to take on a new challenge.

You will need two colors of sticky notes. Each team member gets one sticky note of the first color. Ask the team to write down his or her greatest hope (for this year, this project, this quarter, this season, etc.)

Distribute the second color of sticky notes with the instruction to each individual to write down the greatest fear (for this year, this project, this quarter, this season, etc.)

Crumple up the sticky notes. On a count of three, everyone throws their crumpled notes to the center of the group. Then everyone collects one note of each color.

Read all the hopes first, then all the fears.

Hopes and fears are so important for team members to understand. It’s part of what I call 360-degree Awareness. Sharing hopes and dreams is part of being prepared, and will help you anticipate the inevitable ebbs and flows of working together in pursuit of a goal. Understanding what team members are excited about and worried about will help you tap into those motivations and tackle those fears.

Team Icebreaker 2: Personality Trading Cards

The idea in this game is to build self-awareness and explore personality types of team members. It’s good for groups that have worked together and desire a deeper connection.

With a stack of index cards, allow for four cards per person and extras for the “bank.” One each card, write a personality trait (curious, humble, decisive, reserved, ambitious, empowering, etc.)

Deal four cards to each person and ask them to order the cards by relevance (most accurate trait at the top, least at the bottom).

Now give them 10 minutes to trade cards with each other. The goal is to have four cards that describe you the best. Each person must have four cards at all times.

Final step: Allow them to switch out a single card with one from the “bank.”

Bring the team together, and each person reveals the three cards that best describe him or her. Prompt them to give examples of how the trait shows up in their lives. Encourage feedback from other team members.

This is a fun, lighthearted exercise that can reveal some powerful insights into team member’s personalities.

Team Icebreaker 3: Lifeline

This icebreaker helps a team understand each member’s personal histories and deepens connection between team members. It’s good for teams that have built a strong foundation of trust.

You will need poster boards (or large sheets of paper) and markers.

Each participant draws a timeline marking significant events that explain how he or she got to this point in time. (Don’t worry, it’s not a Picasso). We call this a Lifeline, and it helps to have an example, perhaps from the team’s leader.

The Lifeline shows significant life events and turning points, marking highs and lows, significant life events, turning points, etc. Indicate peaks and dips.

The team takes turns sharing Lifelines. Prompt each member to examine how they moved through and learned from their peaks and valleys.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Icebreakers can be strategic activities for new teams to get to know each other better, for existing teams to work better together and for great teams to gain even more understanding of how each member works. Building trust and understanding is key for every team, and you can get there with team icebreakers like these.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world.  Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.

The post 3 Dynamic Team Building Icebreakers appeared first on Molly Fletcher.

The Extraordinary Leadership Trait (That We All Have In Us)

Photo credit: Charles Forerunner

If you’re reading this, you have an extraordinary leadership trait.

Curiosity.

The very engine that keeps you reading to find out more can be a tremendous asset for a leader—even if you don’t consider yourself one.

Here’s why curiosity is such a powerful trait.

Curiosity inhibits defensiveness and ego.

Through negotiating more than $500 million in contracts and building lasting relationships, I learned this unique power of curiosity. When the other side expresses resistance or hostility, and you respond with curiosity and openness, you move away from personalities and toward understanding the problem. (There’s more about this in my book, A Winner’s Guide to Negotiating: How Conversation Gets Deals Done.) So the next time you feel the urge to react with defensiveness, make the conscious shift to curiosity. You’ll be amazed how the lines of communication are strengthened.

Curiosity triggers better brain chemistry.

A study published in the October 2014 issue of the journal Neuron suggests that the brain’s chemistry changes when we become curious, helping us better learn and retain information. (Learn more from this NPR segment.) When we are curious, our brain releases dopamine, which is a reward also associated with receiving money or candy. Curiosity also triggers a brain circuit where memories are made.

Curiosity broadens perspective, and a broad creative intelligence reveals more solutions.

Curiosity drives creativity and harnesses the power of multiple ideas and solutions. This starts with your curiosity as a leader, as a role model for your team. Creative leaders, as defined by a recent column in Fast Company, “are ordinary people who decide at one point or another to do extraordinary things. That doesn’t just take courage, it demands creativity, the kind you need to actively nurture and practice… To become a leader, you need to develop similar qualities to an artist—to tap into your creative intelligence in order to keep ahead of the crowd, stay nimble, and inspire those around you to push themselves, too.” By modeling curiosity as a leader, you’ll be able to help shape a collaborative, creative, solutions-oriented culture.

Curiosity encourages a culture of feedback and engagement.

Within this positive environment, growth is fostered. As author Brene Brown (“Rising Strong”) points out, “The most transformative and resilient leaders … have three things in common: First, they recognize the central role that relationships and story play in culture and strategy, and they stay curious about their own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Second, they understand and stay curious about how emotions, thoughts, and behaviors are connected in the people they lead, and how those factors affect relationships and perception. And, third, they have the ability and willingness to lean in to discomfort and vulnerability.” Becoming a more curious leader fosters the connection that is key to business success.

In my decades of negotiating with and learning from leaders in professional sports, curiosity returns again and again as a critical building block for respect and relationships. Curiosity challenges our conventional wisdom and points us to more and better solutions.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Curiosity-based leadership can transform your personal development and those you manage, and push away barriers to unique perspectives and solutions. Curiosity is a magnet for valuable new information and a battering ram for self-imposed limits.

My two most powerful words for sharpening curiosity as a leader: “What if?”

How has curiosity made you a more effective leader? I’d love to hear about your experience.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world.  Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.

The post The Extraordinary Leadership Trait (That We All Have In Us) appeared first on Molly Fletcher.

5 Lessons in Greatness from Serena Williams

Observing elite performers at the zenith of their careers can help boost your own success. So definitely try to catch Serena Williams soon.

Serena is the focus of attention at the 2015 U.S. Open in New York as she aims to become the first Grand Slam winner (of the four major titles in tennis) since 1988. More than an athlete, Serena is a personality and celebrity instantly recognized by a single name.

As you watch on court or follow headlines, here are five lessons in greatness from Serena to inspire your own.

1. Carve your own path. Your path is yours and yours alone. Embrace it. Serena has never gone by the script. Trained by her father in Compton, California, Serena largely avoided the junior circuit—the conventional path to tennis success. Since her arrival on the scene as a teenager to embracing her physical power and chiseled physique, Serena never conformed to others’ expectations. As she told Robin Roberts in a recent interview: “I don’t have time to be brought down… I have Grand Slams to win, I have people to inspire, and that’s what I’m here for.”

2. Adapt well. To sustain success, you have to embrace change. From the blazing heat of the Australian Open hard court to the slippery clay at the rainy French Open, and the fast grass at Wimbledon, Serena proves her versatility. Her versatility virtually means that her environment is not a factor. It also means that she digs down when she needs to. Being able to recover quickly from adversity is part of adaptability.

3. Relish the moment. Serena has not been the underdog in a match since 2011. That’s over 250 matches! When it comes to the greatest pressure point, Serena appears to enjoy grabbing the chance to separate herself from the competition. Does she ever have doubts? Yes, she says. “I just embrace it and I bottle it up and I throw that bottle away. I just go for it.” Her mentality is one we can all embrace.

4. Find your work-life fuel. Bring your full self to everything you do. I believe that Serena finds ways to tap her inner strength on the tennis court because she has found a balance with her life outside of tennis. That sweet spot of work-life balance is highly public: she is a minority owner with the Miami Dolphins, designs her own line of clothes and footwear (called Greatness, naturally), headlines her own foundation, and is even taking premed classes. These outlets feed who she is as a person, and keeping a balance translates into optimal focus and results.

5. Never stop competing. At 33, Serena has been winning major titles for 16 years—pretty much half her life. What this says to me is that she wants to win at her core, and she needs to win for as long as she can. Only one person, Steffi Graf, has won more titles (22) and Serena will tie that if she wins the Open. We know she embodies the pure drive to win—will it be enough for a Grand Slam in 2015?

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Serena Williams shows us how to remain true to ourselves, trusting in our unique gifts and talents. Never measure yourself by your competition. Maximize your energy source by minimizing energy drains, and always keep pushing to distance yourself to the best that only you can be. There’s only one Serena, and there’s only one you.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world.  Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.

The post 5 Lessons in Greatness from Serena Williams appeared first on Molly Fletcher.

Seeking A Mentor? Look Around.

Mentor comes from a root word meaning intent, purpose, passion and spirit. A great mentor helps you tap all those resources within yourself. But a mentor isn’t necessarily an older, wiser person in your field.

Experience has shown that some of the most valuable guidance for better performance is found where you least expect. I believe mentors are everywhere– from the people who you work for to the ones who work for you, a fitness instructor, a husband, your father or mother, a neighbor, even a clerk checking you out at the grocery store.

To me it’s about little moments that happen daily. If we are open and curious, we can be mentored constantly. This idea was one of my main inspirations for launching my online courses—a place where I can share all those invaluable lessons that I’ve learned over the course of my career from those around me. The more we share our successes, our mistakes, and our “aha” moments, the more we return the favor and become mentors ourselves.

Here are three steps to identify great mentors in unexpected settings. Do these on a regular basis and you will benefit from mentoring as never before.

Step 1: Get close and observe.

A mentorship doesn’t have to be a formal relationship. The most influential mentors don’t tell you how to improve; they show you. That means studying the qualities, behaviors and habits of those you admire and respect. Think outside your immediate frame of reference! Often, we learn the most from those in other fields who offer a fresh perspective. By getting close and observing, you learn the nuances and traits of the best that are integral to success.

Step 2: You are the pilot of your success.

The role of a mentor is not to magically transport you to the corner office you’ve always dreamed of! A strong mentor empowers you on your journey. The mentored person must do the important work of sorting what guidance is important and what to ignore. The trick is taking it in, filtering it and not falling in love with every new idea. Mentoring works as long as you filter what will align with your authentic self. The most meaningful mentoring results from connections that evolve naturally and authentically.

Step 3: Stay curious.

I have received profound mentoring from strangers whose names remain a mystery. Because I remain curious about the world and people around me, I meet others with an open mind. I credit this to my parents, who fostered my curiosity at an early age. They modeled the value and power of nurturing someone and letting that person get out in the world to test his or her curiosity. This requires taking risks, because curiosity can lead to failure (which I believe can be a valuable teacher!). Stay curious and you will find unexpected mentors daily.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

I believe mentors are everywhere— all it takes is opening our mind to those people right in front of us. Mentoring can be powerful, brief little moments that happen daily. If we are open and curious, with a filter that is mindful of the authentic self, we can find meaningful mentoring in unexpected places.

Thank your mentor!  On LinkedIn, simply click “Share an update” and mention your mentors by typing their names with an @ in front. Add #ThankYourMentor and click “Share.”

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world.  Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.

The post Seeking A Mentor? Look Around. appeared first on Molly Fletcher.

How to Put Your Soul into Your Goals

Action without meaning is practically a waste of time. That’s why everyone needs Fearless Goal Setting, and that’s why I am excited to follow up on last week’s blog about Fearless Goal Setting. By transforming how we find and define our goals, Fearless Goal Setting taps into the soul’s true desire. Fearless Goal Setting transforms lives.

Successful people like photographer Ansel Adams were Fearless Goal Setters. I love his quote about blending emotion and intuition into his creative work: “In my mind’s eye, I visualize how a particular… sight and feeling will appear on a print. If it excites me, there is a good chance it will make a good photograph. It is an intuitive sense, an ability that comes from a lot of practice.”

As promised, here’s more on the steps involved in Fearless Goal Setting.

The Fearless Living Matrix

In our team building work, we target areas of life that probably look a little different than those found in typical goal setting exercises. These categories we call the Fearless Living Matrix. Because the old, simplistic definitions of wealth are not complete, the Fearless Living Matrix categories are:

• Wellness & Spirituality

• Livelihood & Lifestyle

• Growth & Creativity

• Relationships & Tribe

• Philanthropic & Legacy

These categories invite you to consider all of your life in balance. Focusing on a single aspect leads to imbalance and discontent. There’s a powerful combustion when desire and values come together—it is an intense feeling of wholeness and achievement that is unique to each person.

Drilling Deep

For each category, we use a series of questions that help participants drill down to their core desires, which align with deeply held values. It’s this syncing between desire and values that makes these goals so powerful.

Here’s an example, and as you read this, think about how you would answer.

Start with the first category, Wellness & Spirituality. We define this broadly as total health—mental, physical, emotional, fitness, meditation, food, sleep, spiritual, wellness, soul, intuition, faith, practices, inner self. You might define it differently.

Here are the questions:

1. Start with today’s reality. Where am I am today in this area of my life?

Sample answer: I am fit but have an extra 10 lbs. I feel strong but need more cardio endurance. Spirituality is solid—I am connected to my beliefs and dedicate time to this part of my life. I honor my intuition. My soul has a hole where I was betrayed in a relationship. My sleep is good, 8 hours a night.

2. How do I want to feel in this area of my life?

Sample answer: Whole and holistic. Fitter, I want to be feel strong and powerful physically. I want the feel more flexibly emotionally and physically. I want to fully forgive so I can be free of the burden of the betrayal.

3. Why? What is the real driver here?

Sample answer: I believe everyone’s body is a gift and we should honor what we have by taking the best care that we can at every age. I feel horrible and uncomfortable in my clothes with 10 extra pounds. My spirituality is the most important connection in my life, I should dedicate time to it.

4. What do I have to do (or experience) to feel the way I want to feel in this area of my life?

Sample answer: I will feel whole and holistic with these consistent workouts: weights, walking with cardio sprints and yoga, 4 to 5 times a week. Daily meditation will help me remain connected to my beliefs. I will see a counselor to help me work toward forgiveness and move past betrayal.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Meaningful actions are paved when we have a destination that aligns with our desires and goals. This end point is full of wonderful emotion, and this feeling is what drives us—it stimulates the mind like a preview of a coming attraction that we long to see in our lives. That feeling connects our goals to our soul.

This strong, warm, connected feeling shapes the actions we must take on our journey. This one question is the powerful heart of setting goals with soul: What must I do (or experience) to feel the way I want to feel in this area of my life?

We are wired to do more than check off accomplishments. What are your goals with soul? How did you discover them? I would love to hear more!

Let’s share this incredible journey that begins when we make that jump to visualize our most engaged feelings, and identify the steps to achieve our most satisfying goals.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world.  Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.

Should Your Goals Come From Your Soul?

“Do what you love and love what you do.” This is a core belief for me. My life and work support this idea, and it’s incredibly fulfilling. The data says the majority of Americans aren’t doing what they love, though. If you’re one of them, how do you find what will bring you happiness?

Way too many people think the goal should be something of status to others—a better job or promotion, for instance. Sometimes those achievements do bring fulfillment. But how do you know? What if you sacrifice time, energy and resources to achieve an external goal (measurable by others) and you don’t feel all that you expected?

A meaningful way forward is to set “goals with soul,” a phrase associated with Danielle LaPorte’s The Desire Map. If you’re not doing what you love right now, keep reading for better steps to a more fulfilling career and life.

Fearless Goal Setting

Goals with soul begin with Fearless Goal Setting. This is different than most goal setting exercises you probably have done before.

Fearless Goal Setting is getting real with what you want out of life. It is dropping all the external beliefs that you have unconsciously adopted. In our team building work, our definition of fearless goal setting is:

Setting goals that are based on how you want to feel . When that is established, you move on to what you must do to achieve the desired feeling (LaPorte).
Considering your entire life—not focusing on one aspect, such as your career, to the detriment of the rest of what makes you unique.
Honoring your limitations—whether you are parenting multiple children, caring for elderly parents, facing financial limitations, or lacking in needed support.
Being real with what YOU want—not what you think others (your boss, spouse, parents, coworkers, children, etc.) expect or want.
Understanding your existing strengths and weaknesses as the foundation for dreaming authentically.
Moving forward fueled by two actions at the same time: pushing ourselves and nurturing ourselves.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

By transforming how we find and define our goals, Fearless Goal Setting taps into the soul’s true desire. Fearless Goal Setting transform lives.

Now you know what goals with soul look like. Next week in this blog I will write more about how to tap your fearlessness to make your own goals with soul.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world.  Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.

3 Secrets to a Hall of Fame Career

In any competitive field—business or sports—high achievers dominate. At any given time, very few rise to the top. As history unfolds, those top achievers compete to be known as the best ever—to enter the hall of fame.

Baseball’s Hall of Fame recently welcomed my good friend and longtime client John Smoltz. That incredible milestone and his induction speech inspired me to write more about what Smoltzie taught me about striving to be better every single day. These three inspiring habits made him a lock for Cooperstown, and they can help any of us get the most out of our professional careers.

1. Chase your goals no matter what.

As a kid, John would stand outside his little brick house in Lansing, Mich. and throw to a square he had taped on the side of the house. He didn’t have much to work with. From that target, he could barely step off the 60 feet before he was on the street. Didn’t matter to John.

Other kids would call him a “geek” because he didn’t “hang out” enough. Again, didn’t matter to John. He had a goal, to pitch in the big leagues. Those same kids ended up asking that “geek” for his autograph and game tickets.

It’s one thing to make it to the major leagues, and John wanted to stay for much more than a cup of coffee. He wanted to make a difference. He lasted a remarkable 21 years and was the first pitcher to rack up 200 wins and 150 saves.

Goals allow clarity and focus. They drive discipline and efficient use of our time and resources. I believe goals that are SMART (specific, measurable, assignable, realistic, time based) help alleviate pain later in life. When we set goals, we don’t wake up 10 years into a career we hate. We are living Hall of Fame lives when we have goals that drive us to make the most of our talents and desires.

2. Value and nurture relationships.

John knew that friends and acquaintances drive business success. Someone you compete against might work for or work with you one day. Someone who works for you might be your boss one day. You don’t know, so you value and nurture relationships by treating others with respect. It’s easy and even status quo for a professional athlete to remain aloof and non-relational because people put athletes on a pedestal. That wasn’t John.

Authenticity inside of relationships takes courage. At times, it demands vulnerability and sacrifice. When we represented John at the peak of his career, we had a $50 million plus offer from the Yankees. A key relationship made John turn down the deal. He wanted to stay with the Braves because of his tight relationship with manager Bobby Cox.

Relationships signify loyalty and the ability to go beyond one’s self to connect with others. John mentioned another important relationship in his induction speech, a teammate early on in his career who demonstrated the importance of relationships on teams:

“I remember sitting in the locker room at Tiger Stadium, a fish out of water, scared to death…. Alan Trammell came up to me and said, ‘Hi, I am Alan Trammell. Anything I can do for you, don’t hesitate to ask. This house is your house.’ And I will never forget. I thank you, Alan Trammell, for teaching me what a professional baseball player is all about.

It was as if he had introduced and gave me a baton and said now pay this forward every chance you can, because this game has a chance to impact a lot of people. And I have done that to the best of my ability thanks to Alan Trammell’s imprint in my life.”

3. Give.

To whom much is given, much is expected. Give when you don’t think you can, give when you may not be that sure if you could. Give because giving is the right thing to do.

Smoltz took time for rookie teammates, children’s hospitals, the media, family, friends — you name it. I saw how exhausting it was for John in his peak. He knew on some level that giving was how he grounded himself and allowed the full expression of his abilities on the field. Giving is full engagement, and he’s still giving to the Atlanta Community Food Bank and other worthy organizations.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Who is the John Smoltz in your field—the person who embodies lasting excellence? I will bet that his or her success has the same hallmarks as John Smoltz’s Hall of Fame career. You must chase your goals no matter what, and with that perseverance, you elevate your reputation through building relationships and giving.

John got this and more. He worked it and it worked for him, for more than two decades at the top of the national pastime. If more of the world did the same, wouldn’t this world be a better place?

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world.  Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.

Should Your Goals Come From Your Soul?

“Do what you love and love what you do.” This is a core belief for me. My life and work support this idea, and it’s incredibly fulfilling. The data says the majority of Americans aren’t doing what they love, though. If you’re one of them, how do you find what will bring you happiness?

Way too many people think the goal should be something of status to others—a better job or promotion, for instance. Sometimes those achievements do bring fulfillment. But how do you know? What if you sacrifice time, energy and resources to achieve an external goal (measurable by others) and you don’t feel all that you expected?

A meaningful way forward is to set “goals with soul,” a phrase associated with Danielle LaPorte’s The Desire Map. If you’re not doing what you love right now, keep reading for better steps to a more fulfilling career and life.

Fearless Goal Setting

Goals with soul begin with Fearless Goal Setting. This is different than most goal setting exercises you probably have done before.

Fearless Goal Setting is getting real with what you want out of life. It is dropping all the external beliefs that you have unconsciously adopted. In our team building work, our definition of fearless goal setting is:

Setting goals that are based on how you want to feel . When that is established, you move on to what you must do to achieve the desired feeling (LaPorte).
Considering your entire life—not focusing on one aspect, such as your career, to the detriment of the rest of what makes you unique.
Honoring your limitations—whether you are parenting multiple children, caring for elderly parents, facing financial limitations, or lacking in needed support.
Being real with what YOU want—not what you think others (your boss, spouse, parents, coworkers, children, etc.) expect or want.
Understanding your existing strengths and weaknesses as the foundation for dreaming authentically.
Moving forward fueled by two actions at the same time: pushing ourselves and nurturing ourselves.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

By transforming how we find and define our goals, Fearless Goal Setting taps into the soul’s true desire. Fearless Goal Setting transform lives.

Now you know what goals with soul look like. Next week in this blog I will write more about how to tap your fearlessness to make your own goals with soul.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world.  Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.

 

The post Should Your Goals Come From Your Soul? appeared first on Molly Fletcher.

3 Secrets to a Hall of Fame Career

In any competitive field—business or sports—high achievers dominate. At any given time, very few rise to the top. As history unfolds, those top achievers compete to be known as the best ever—to enter the hall of fame.

Baseball’s Hall of Fame recently welcomed my good friend and longtime client John Smoltz. That incredible milestone and his induction speech inspired me to write more about what Smoltzie taught me about striving to be better every single day. These three inspiring habits made him a lock for Cooperstown, and they can help any of us get the most out of our professional careers.

1. Chase your goals no matter what.

As a kid, John would stand outside his little brick house in Lansing, Mich. and throw to a square he had taped on the side of the house. He didn’t have much to work with. From that target, he could barely step off the 60 feet before he was on the street. Didn’t matter to John.

Other kids would call him a “geek” because he didn’t “hang out” enough. Again, didn’t matter to John. He had a goal, to pitch in the big leagues. Those same kids ended up asking that “geek” for his autograph and game tickets.

It’s one thing to make it to the major leagues, and John wanted to stay for much more than a cup of coffee. He wanted to make a difference. He lasted a remarkable 21 years and was the first pitcher to rack up 200 wins and 150 saves.

Goals allow clarity and focus. They drive discipline and efficient use of our time and resources. I believe goals that are SMART (specific, measurable, assignable, realistic, time based) help alleviate pain later in life. When we set goals, we don’t wake up 10 years into a career we hate. We are living Hall of Fame lives when we have goals that drive us to make the most of our talents and desires.

2. Value and nurture relationships.

John knew that friends and acquaintances drive business success. Someone you compete against might work for or work with you one day. Someone who works for you might be your boss one day. You don’t know, so you value and nurture relationships by treating others with respect. It’s easy and even status quo for a professional athlete to remain aloof and non-relational because people put athletes on a pedestal. That wasn’t John.

Authenticity inside of relationships takes courage. At times, it demands vulnerability and sacrifice. When we represented John at the peak of his career, we had a $50 million plus offer from the Yankees. A key relationship made John turn down the deal. He wanted to stay with the Braves because of his tight relationship with manager Bobby Cox.

Relationships signify loyalty and the ability to go beyond one’s self to connect with others. John mentioned another important relationship in his induction speech, a teammate early on in his career who demonstrated the importance of relationships on teams:

“I remember sitting in the locker room at Tiger Stadium, a fish out of water, scared to death…. Alan Trammell came up to me and said, ‘Hi, I am Alan Trammell. Anything I can do for you, don’t hesitate to ask. This house is your house.’ And I will never forget. I thank you, Alan Trammell, for teaching me what a professional baseball player is all about.

It was as if he had introduced and gave me a baton and said now pay this forward every chance you can, because this game has a chance to impact a lot of people. And I have done that to the best of my ability thanks to Alan Trammell’s imprint in my life.”

3. Give.

To whom much is given, much is expected. Give when you don’t think you can, give when you may not be that sure if you could. Give because giving is the right thing to do.

Smoltz took time for rookie teammates, children’s hospitals, the media, family, friends — you name it. I saw how exhausting it was for John in his peak. He knew on some level that giving was how he grounded himself and allowed the full expression of his abilities on the field. Giving is full engagement, and he’s still giving to the Atlanta Community Food Bank and other worthy organizations.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Who is the John Smoltz in your field—the person who embodies lasting excellence? I will bet that his or her success has the same hallmarks as John Smoltz’s Hall of Fame career. You must chase your goals no matter what, and with that perseverance, you elevate your reputation through building relationships and giving.

John got this and more. He worked it and it worked for him, for more than two decades at the top of the national pastime. If more of the world did the same, wouldn’t this world be a better place?

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world.  Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.

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Show Me the Money: A Guide to Negotiating from the Female Jerry Maguire

When CNN gave me the nickname “the female Jerry Maguire,” I wasn’t sure what to think. My career as a sports agent wasn’t quite as flamboyant as Tom Cruise’s character on screen, but it was a lot longer than two hours. And Jerry Maguire did stand true to his beliefs, which is what I try to do in real life. My experiences negotiating on behalf of athletes, coaches and broadcasters became the basis for “A Winner’s Guide to Negotiating: How Conversation Gets Deals Done,” and this blog will give you a mini guide for becoming a better negotiator in minutes.

Five Tools

A great negotiator, I have seen time and time again, does these five things well. Even more important is how these steps are achieved.

Sets the Stage. You collect as much data about what is at stake and the person or organization that controls what you want. No negotiator should be without as much data as possible.
Finds Common Ground. You understand the fears or desires of the other party in the negotiation so well that you can identify where you both are most alike.
Asks with Confidence. You reach the natural point in your dialogue where you have the greatest expectation of success.
Embraces the Pause. You allow space for the other side to consider your request. Silence often is part of an effective conversation.
Knows When to Leave. You recognize the red flags that signal your exit from the deal. Going forward is not a risk worth taking.

Trust Helps Guide Successful Negotiation

Trust is at the heart of long-term success as a negotiator. At the heart of my success is managing relationships well so that conversations can keep going, can stay open, and spark more conversations, because the seeds of your next negotiation are planted in the one you are doing right now.

The five tools listed above play out virtually the same in every negotiation, and you need to keep them handy and sharp. Like a top baseball player, a negotiator’s tools must become reflexive and instinctive. They have to be because in both worlds, the window for action and success is narrow. Opportunity doesn’t come around every day. To leverage and maximize these chances, you’ve got to be ready with multiple tools and the confidence to use them well. Here’s the thing about negotiation: those steps are like waves at the beach. They repeat themselves over and over, especially in a big deal. They repeat between people who are negotiating, and within negotiators themselves. The conversation always is going on.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Whether you are haggling over a grocery coupon or a multimillion-dollar contract, you’re engaged in a critical conversation. “Show me the ….” will be part of that conversation, whether it is money or something even more important at stake. The more comfortable you are with that conversation, the better off you will be with the results. You’ll benefit even more by reading “A Winner’s Guide to Negotiating: How Conversation Gets Deals Done.” comfort for success, building trust in yourself and trust from others. They will give you the Guts to Negotiate.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world.  Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.

 

The post Show Me the Money: A Guide to Negotiating from the Female Jerry Maguire appeared first on Molly Fletcher.