Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 36

Free kinky erotica book offer for Dirty Dates ebook release day!

I got an email while I was sleeping at 12:08 a.m. that my Kindle copy of Dirty Dates was ready for my ebook reading pleasure, so it must really be release day for Dirty Dates! That's a great way to make an anthology editor happy.



It's like my book gets two release days, because I know many people prefer to read on an e-reader. Here are those handy links, and if you have read it, or when you're done, I'd love if you'd leave a review wherever you purchased it and/or on Goodreads. Even a sentence sharing your favorite story in the book goes a long way to more readers discovering the work of these amazing writers! My goal as an editor is to publish stories readers of all kinds will enjoy (not just kinky readers and not just "couples" in this case), and to give my authors a wide audience. So thank you for your support! FYI, I'm not seeing Dirty Dates listed in Google Play, but if that changes, I will update this post and the official Dirty Dates Tumblr.

Not convinced yet? Read the introduction on Tumblr. Read sexy free excerpts:

"The Corset" by Dorothy Freed

"Switch" by Mina Murray

"Polka-Dot Dress" by Erzabet Bishop

Buy the ebook of Dirty Dates from these retailers for your e-reader of choice:

Kindle

Nook

iBooks

Kobo

BUY DIRTY DATES AS AN EBOOK, GET A FREE KINKY EBOOK FROM ME

To sweeten the pot, for those who've already ordered Dirty Dates in ebook form OR those who do by November 30th at 11:59 pm EST, here's a special deal:

Send your receipt for any of the above ebook versions of Dirty Dates to dirtydatesbook at gmail.com with "Ebook" in the subject line and your free ebook request in the body (see options below), and I will send you the ebook version of any of the following of my BDSM erotica titles free (I believe they should all be available in the above ebook forms):

Anything for You; Best Bondage Erotica 2011; Best Bondage Erotica 2012; Best Bondage Erotica 2013; Best Bondage Erotica 2014; Best Bondage Erotica 2015; The Big Book of Submission; Bottoms Up; Cheeky Spanking Stories; He's on Top; Please, Ma'am; Please, Sir; Serving Him; She's on Top; Spanked; Surrender; Yes, Sir; Yes, Ma'am.

It's that easy, but in case you prefer a numbered list:

1. Buy the ebook of Dirty Dates on Kindle, Nook, iBooks or Kobo.

2. Select your preferred free kinky erotica ebook from the list above.

3. Forward your receipt with "Ebook" in the subject line to dirtydatesbook@gmail.com by November 30, 2015, 11:59 pm EST.

4. Download the free gift ebook I've sent!

Unless otherwise specified, I'll send you the gift ebook in the same format you bought the Dirty Dates ebook. So if you send me a Dirty Dates Kindle receipt and ask for The Big Book of Submission, I'll gift it to you via Kindle. This promotion is valid through November 30th, 2015 at 11:59 pm EST. Your receipt MUST be received by then for me to send you the free ebook. This is a promotion done solely by me as a gift to my readers to thank you for reading Dirty Dates. Feel free to pass this on to anyone who might appreciate some hot BDSM erotica!

2 recent podcast appearances: Speaking of Sex and Made in '83

I've recently gotten pretty obsessed with listening to podcasts ("obsessed" as in, I try to listen to at least part of one every day), so I was excited to be interviewed recently on two podcasts: Speaking of Sex (the wonderful podcast by sex educators the Pleasure Mechanics) and the Made in '83 podcast. Click on each podcast title or logo below to listen and/or subscribe to each in iTunes.

For Speaking of Sex, I talked a lot about Dirty Dates, my responsibility as an editor of BDSM, how couples can use erotica, whether I agree with the review that called it "kink light," what I hope readers take away, and a little about what I teach my erotica writing students. On Made in '83, we briefly discussed Dirty Dates but mainly talked about sexuality in everyday life, from slut shaming to dating and more.

How to know your relationship is going to last

Okay, unfortunately, I don't think there's any way to know anything for 100% sure about the future. But here's my hunch about my relationship: it's lasted almost four years now both because we love each other and we are open to change. Change within ourselves and change imposed from the outside world. In January, a week or two after our anniversary, we are going to be moving for the fourth time in four years. Is that a complete pain in the ass? Of course. But both of us, after a few minutes of complaining, have simply adapted.

Yes, I just hung up my gorgeous Georgia O'Keeffe painting and other artwork. I have bookshelves set up so all my books are accessible by walking across my bedroom/office. But that's life, and we aren't moving far, and while we will still only have a one-year lease, we are both pretty confident who we're renting from won't have any reason to kick us out (in this year's case, it wasn't anything to do with us, but our landlord decided to exercise their option to move back in after our lease was up).

We have adapted to so many things: job losses, family deaths, loss of income, jealousy. We've adapted to new towns and new circumstances. We've seen each other at our best and our worst. We're working on learning how to argue more productively. Friday, we went to Grounds for Sculpture, which was stunningly gorgeous. I wasn't quite prepared for how grandiose it would be. We lucked out with a sunny but slightly chilly day, and bundled up, I was happy to roam around most of the day, punctuated by a lovely lunch at their restaurant, Rat's. We so rarely get a weekday together and if we do, are usually on our computers.


Summertime Lady by David Hostetler (side view)

Then we came home and watched the news about Paris. It was such a jarring juxtaposition to see this artwork that celebrated life and love and, I believe, timelessness, contrasted with such horrific violence.

Then yesterday, we set off for Westchester. We had a little day adventure planned, but when we checked into our hotel, it was awful. As in, we stayed for as long as it took to book another room and left. It was a little tense; I'd been so relieved to be out of the car, and there we were, getting in another one. But guess what? We not only got a refund because my boyfriend calmly but firmly told them why the room didn't work (it was very dirty and it smelled), but we found a suite at a new hotel for only abut $30 more that also had a jacuzzi hot tub we could both fit in!

Now, my boyfriend is a big guy, so this is a rare occurrence. I didn't even know he'd want to get in. But we positioned ourselves and turned up the hot water and then the jets, while I drank a tea that was still hot 20 minutes after I got it. We didn't stay long, but I just kept looking around like, What? This is my life, that I get to randomly be in a jacuzzi hot tub with someone who cares about me so much and looks out for me at every turn?

There were other moments of unexpectedness, like curving roads that I was so relieved we passed that I almost cried (I'm extremely afraid of cars, though I'm better than I used to be). I'm not saying we are both perfectly calm 24/7, but that we are each both able to roll with any given unexpected situation, or one of us can help guide the other through it. We even shared a bed, two nights after telling the world why separate beds are good for our relationship. But with the help of earplugs for him and a king-size bed, we did it. In fact, he's sleeping in that bed right now while I type this at seven in the morning.

So no, I have no idea what the future holds. But I have a feeling we are going to make it for the long haul, as long as we can continue to adapt to change in whatever form it takes.

My 40th birthday photo shoot on why my boyfriend and I sleep in separate beds is in the New York Post

I've been 40 for 4 days, and they've been a whirlwind! On Tuesday, my 40th birthday, I woke up very early, around 5 a.m. (I was born at 3:59 a.m., and was a preemie; I was supposed to be born in February 1976), then spent the day celebrating the release of my new erotica anthology Dirty Dates , writing two articles for Salon, teaching my LitReactor class, going to dinner with my boyfriend and a coworker, and having my photo taken for this New York Post article on couples with separate beds. I only have a few photos of my boyfriend and I from our almost four years together, so that was fun and special, all the more so because he's pretty camera and press shy (yes, my opposite!), but did it for me. Thank you to Anna Davies for writing the article and contacting me to be interviewed, and to Alex M for the great photos. This is what a 40-year-old writer with a stuffed animal in her bed looks like!

The article got a lot of buzz, including a mention on In The Papers on NY1, a discussion on Live with Kelly and Michael , another interview with me at Yahoo Health, a Jezebel post and a great exploration at The Frisky on your ideal cohabitation situation. The most amusing part to me is that the original New York Post headline changed during the day to the current one. If my life is boring (which, I admit, parts of it are), I say, the more boring, the better!

Kinky erotica sale alert: Best Bondage Erotica 2013 is just $1.99 on Kindle, Nook, iBooks and Kobo!

From November 13 (today!) through November 20, the ebook edition of Best Bondage Erotica 2013 is only $1.99!



It's got a foreword by Graydancer and lots of hot stories inside. Here's where to take advantage of this special sale:

Kindle

Nook

Google Play

iBooks

Kobo

For a free sample of my story "Foot and Mouth," click here.

Table of contents:

Foreword: Uncomfortable Truths Graydancer
Introduction: Loving Bondage Anywhere and Everywhere
An Introduction to Shibari Elizabeth Coldwell
This Is Me Holding You Annabeth Leong
Tying the Knot Tiffany Reisz
The Great Outdoors Teresa Noelle Roberts
What Vacations Are For Thomas S. Roche
Lights Out Mina Murray
Feeling the Heat Lucy Felthouse
You Can Look… Evan Mora
The Moons of Mars Valerie Alexander
Interlude for the Troops Louise Blaydon
Hot in the City Sommer Marsden
Passion Party Purgatory Logan Zachary
Steadfast Andrea Dale
Tree Hugger Giselle Renarde
A Public Spectacle D. L. King
Seven More Days N. T. Morley
A Bit of a Tangle Monocle
Wheelbarrow Position Danielle Mignon
The Longest Afternoon Medea Mor
Plastic Wrap Shoshanna Evers
Wiped Kay Jaybee
Foot and Mouth Rachel Kramer Bussel

Official blurb:

Some say bondage is the ultimate intimacy. Once you have allowed yourself to fully explore your fantasies of giving in and surrendering to pleasure, you may find you need a firm but gentle hand to guide you. Let Best Bondage Erotica 2013 be your guidebook of everything BDSM. Editrix Rachel Kramer Bussel and her writers put it all out on the page in stories using everything from silk ties rope to shiny cuffs, blindfolds, wires and everything you can imagine and MORE. Best Bondage Erotica 2013 offers erotic insight for newbies and experienced players alike. These stories of forbidden desires and sexual fantasies, penned by the “masters and mistresses” of the genre, will shock, scintillate, and mesmerize.

Happy birthday to me and happy book birthday to Dirty Dates!

So, it's my birthday, and it's been so busy, in a good way, that I haven't had a chance to post about it until now. I'll be posting about what it means to me to be turning 40 soon, but for now, I wanted to share that my latest anthology, Dirty Dates: Erotic Fantasies for Couples , is officially for sale in print!



So if you're wondering what to get the woman already has too much stuff (this hoarder raises her hand!), the best "happy birthday" gift to me is actually a gift for YOU. Or someone you love/lust after/want to get kinky with. Yes, Dirty Dates has lots of inspiration. No, it's not a how-to, but it's got super sexy stories that have fun date ideas, whether you're kinky or not, that will very likely give you ideas for adding some creative hotness to your relationship (or your next relationship. There are married couples, couples who are just starting to date, kinky couples, female submissions, female dominants and a lot more. It includes short stories written by Jade A. Waters (read about the inspiration behind her story "The Swap" on Jade's blog), Justine Elyot, D. L. King, Dorothy Freed (read an excerpt from "The Corset" at Kinkly) and others. You can read the full table of contents and introduction on Tumblr and below is where you can buy it (or pre-order the ebook). I'm thrilled to share a birthday with my book, and hope you enjoy it too!

Amazon

Kindle

Barnes & Noble

Nook

Books-a-Million (paperback)

Books-a-Million (ebook)

Powells

IndieBound (find it at your local bookstore)

Cleis Press

Amazon UK

Kindle UK

Amazon Canada

Thank you, Savannah and Washington, DC plus sexy shop photos from Lotus Blooms

I'll make this a brief thank you, since I'm heading on a train to New York, then running a few errands, then catching the bus to Atlantic City so I can spend my final night of my thirties at home and wake up on my birthday in the same place as my boyfriend. I've had an amazing trip, in two parts, Savannah and Washington, DC. I got to catch up with two of my closest friends, who I used to see all the time when we all lived in New York, eat wonderful food, explore a new city, and do a fabulous reading and teach a highly engaged workshop. All of that has energized me for the rest of my month, which includes teaching my Litreactor erotica writing class and launching Dirty Dates tomorrow. Many thanks to Nichelle Stephens for organizing Friday's reading and Lotus Blooms for booking last night's workshop.

Here's me at Back in the Day Bakery, which I highly recommend visiting if you're in Savannah.



And here's me outside the newly opened Lotus Blooms in Adams Morgan in Washington, DC, plus some photos inside the store. Great selection, and amazing shoes and corsets and other sexy clothing. And erotica and other sex related books, of course. Had a great meal at Libertine across the street, and my workshop was actually upstairs at The Black Squirrel, which was a wonderful space!




If this isn't erotica writing fodder, I don't know what is!












Last but not least: corsets! If you want a corset and are in the DC area, get yourself to Lotus Blooms.

How lube took over the world this week, with a little help from Ronda Rousey

In case you didn't hear, Ronda Rousey is not a fan of lube. She came under fire this week for telling Maxim readers, in an article entitled "UFC Queen Ronda Rousey Reveals the Secret to Great Sex," this:

What should a guy always do? Take his time. In general, a girl takes a minute. He needs to get her ready. You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, then you’re being lazy...and you’re not taking your time.

For Salon, I broke down why Ronda Rousey is wrong about lube, with the help of numerous sex educators and professionals.



Plenty of others also took Rousey to task. At Bustle, Kristine Fellizar detailed "Why You Need Lube During Sex, Even Though Ronda Rousey Thinks You Don't." Jezebel noted why it's not a good idea idea to take sex advice from Rousey. Wicked Sensual Care offered Rousey a lifetime supply of free products, including lube.

Last but not least, sex educator, researcher and Come As You Are author Emily Nagoski started the Twitter hashtag #tweetyourlube to get people sharing the role lube plays in their lives, and wrote a great blog post on sex positivity and lube. For some lube suggestions, check out Lady Laid Bare's roundup. The end result has been a lot more awareness of how many people use lube, why it's important, and denouncing Rousey's outdated, false statements, which are pretty indefensible (though of course, many have questioned why she was being asked for sex advice in the first place).

This story came full circle when Maxim itself responded to the outcry, quoting my Salon article and #tweetyourlube posts and getting Rousey to comment:

These are obviously legitimate and important reasons why we shouldn't think of using lube as a sign of weakness, and Rousey seemed to agreed. "If you have a physical problem, you should use it," she said when asked by Maxim about the response to her comments. "But in my experience, I’ve never needed it. "

This brings up an issue that's basically the difference between using the first person and giving advice. It's fine for Rousey to say she's never needed lube and/or doesn't personally like it. But that's completely different from saying that nobody should ever need or use it, and if you do, you're lazy. That's incorrect, and the world knows it.

Save $10 on my Washington, DC erotica writing workshop this Sunday at Lotus Blooms

Exciting news: Use the code BloomsBigO to register at Eventbrite for Sunday's erotica writing workshop at Lotus Blooms in Washington, DC! Their address is 2408 18th Street NW (Adams Morgan neighborhood). That means if you register by Saturday, November 7th, the normally $25 fee will be $15 and if you register on the day of the event, the $30 fee will be $20. Hence, I would recommend signing up by the 7th. We'll be doing writing exercises for two hours, along with learning about the current erotica marketplace and you'll get two handouts. Questions? Email info at lotusblooms.com or call the store at 202-836-4474. See you there!

New by me: That's Not a Vagina, new moms and sex, Khloé Kardashian’s new book

Sometimes, I'm very prolific in a given week, and other times, by happenstance, several of my articles go up in one day. Both of those converged yesterday and, as I was making my way from New Jersey to Savannah, I had 3 new pieces go up. I'm writing a bunch more this week, so stay tuned or follow me on Twitter, Facebook or check out my Contently profile, where I've shared most of my clips. And please always feel free to pitch me article topics at rachelkb at gmail.com if you see something interesting happening.

The first is about the blog That's Not a Vagina for The Daily Dot, which is all about educating readers about the difference between "vagina" and "vulva" and celebrating the vulva.



The next is about new moms and sex, for my DAME sex column. And I highly recommend Emily Flake's book of essays and cartoons, Mama Tried: Dispatches from the Seamy Underbelly of Modern Parenting , which I quote in the column, but you really need to read in its full form to appreciate. I just gave a copy to a friend with a newborn and she laughed out loud.



Lastly, I reviewed Khloé Kardashian’s new book Strong Looks Better Naked, published Tuesday by Regan Arts. Key points: she's great on body image and not counting calories, and the book's ghostwriter, Pablo Fenjves, was also the ghostwriter for O.J. Simpson for his book If I Did It, which I find fascinating (in case you don't know, Kardashian's father Robert Kardashian represented O.J. Simpson, and Kris Jenner was friends with Nicole Brown Simpson, and the case is mentioned in the book). Fenjves has also ghostwritten for Bernie Mac, Janice Dickinson and others.