Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 39
October 5, 2015
My 40th birthday book Dirty Dates just got its first review!
My new anthology
Dirty Dates: Erotic Fantasies for Couples
has an official publication date of November 10th, aka my birthday, but I just found out it will be shipping from the printer to stores (and me!) this week, so if you pre-order it, you're likely to get it a little earlier than 11/10.
I'll be posting more about it but wanted to share its first review on Goodreads, in which Dena Hankins, whose novels include Blue Water Dreams and Heart of the Liliko'i , highlights her favorite of these BDSM erotica stores. She also posted the review on her website. Here's a snippet from her review:
I'll be posting more about it but wanted to share its first review on Goodreads, in which Dena Hankins, whose novels include Blue Water Dreams and Heart of the Liliko'i , highlights her favorite of these BDSM erotica stores. She also posted the review on her website. Here's a snippet from her review:
One of my favorite experiences reading erotica is grokking the heat of something that doesn’t turn me on at all. "Magic Words" by Emily Bingham lets me feel Daddy/girl play from the point of view of someone it works for, deep and real enough that I really think I get it…even if I’m not about to go looking for it myself.
"Baby Steps" by Justine Elyot got me too. I’m not a parent, but I’ve been through enough life changes during my nearly twenty-year relationship that I recognize this moment. The stakes are high, and I love how this shows the very real way we bring ourselves into the sex we have. This one is a favorite more for the story than the kink and/or sex, though.
"On Location" by D. L. King is fun and flirty, with an absolutely fabulous glimpse into the lives of lovers who don’t share a home. I very much enjoy erotica depicting warm, non-traditional relationships. And the set-up is hot!
"Recipe for Punishment" by Jacqueline Brocker is a-fucking-dorable. The punishment is brutal and glorious, a quick and effective mid-scene check-in is heartwarming, the achievement is his to own, and the love fills them both.
3 things I learned from writing my now-defunct Philadelphia City Paper sex column, and how I'm applying them to my career
As I posted last week, Philadelphia City Paper will be shutting down with this week's issue. Last week's column was my final one. I won't bother posting tons of links to my favorite column since the online archives will very rapidly be disappearing. I also won't waste your time or mine lamenting this news, because I live by the Serenity Prayer. Since there's nothing I can do about the end of my column, I'm focused on other freelance writing and projects to make up for that lost income.
Here's the thing: I'm not a naturally glass half full kind of person, but I've had to be. Freelancing is the ultimate in at will employment, and I've had numerous gigs end, from my Village Voice Lusty Lady column to my stint editing Sex Diaries for New York magazine site Daily Intel. Just last month, I unexpectedly found myself with two short stories I'd expected to be published in an anthology, but weren't. I promptly published one on Lady Smut and submitted the other to Tamsin Flowers' Superotica Advent Calendar. For me, being pro-active simply feels much better than wallowing in bad news. It makes me believe the future is going to be infinitely better than the past, because I'm in charge of making it so.
So with that in mind, I want to share the three biggest lessons/takeaways I learned from writing 51 weekly columns for Philadelphia City Paper (there were a few weeks my column didn't run due to space issues).
1. Look far and wide for subjects
Yes, my column was published by a Philadelphia alt weekly, but I did my best to make it relevant to global readers. I learned when writing for the Voice that with the online edition, the column could be read by anyone, anywhere. I also didn't and don't live in Philadelphia, so I wasn't going to be able to cover too many local events, though I did take the time and spend the money to travel to Philly several times for local profiles. However, what's most fascinating to me is that almost everything I covered potentially could have wider interest. I wrote about a UK sex blogger's dick pics, which proved especially popular. Had nothing to do with Philadelphia per se, but it was about something many people were interested in, so it did well online.
I'd never written a weekly column before, and the pace often felt relentless. I wound up planning several weeks ahead just to get a grasp on things, which made it tough at the end to have already done research for upcoming columns and suddenly have no home for them. But that constant search for the new and novel forced me to broaden my horizons and seek out experts who I hadn't encountered before. I paid attention the world of sexuality in a way I hadn't been before writing the column, and I believe I'm more knowledgeable for that effort.
2. I want to have an impact on the world with my words
Going along with the potential global impact, I learned that I could break a story, and that I loved doing it. In January, my profile of my friend Crista Anne and her OrgasmQuest got picked up by numerous media outlets, including Jezebel, Refinery29, and many others, and led to Dr. Drew discussing it on his HLN show, including an appearance by Crista, prompted by the social media response to his posting about the topic. Seeing how fast and how far this topic spread, including to international press, made me realize I have good instincts. I obviously didn't know in advance the response the story would get, but this buoyed me when pitching other venues.
Last week, I broke another story about an acquaintance, based on what I'd seen her post on Facebook. My first article for Mic, "This Woman Is Fighting Fat-Shaming With These Awesome, Girl Scout-Inspired "Fatty" Badges," has now led to pieces at HelloGiggles, Cosmopolitan , Bustle, The Stir, APlus (Ashton Kutcher's website devoted to "positive journalism") and even People.com, and was even shared on Facebook by Planned Parenthood of Oregon. How could I not find that gratifying?
On both personal and professional levels, this feels good. It's not so much about outside validation, as knowing that my words resonate with others, and because of them, something I thought was powerful is becoming even more powerful.
3. I have to be the very best advocate for myself I can be
Finally, what may be the biggest lesson: I learned that I have to advocate for myself every step of the way. For instance, some of the early stories about OrgasmQuest didn't credit and/or link to my Philadelphia City Paper column. So I hopped right on email and asked for a link, and I believe every source I asked for did it. This weekend, I realized that I hadn't fully filled in my Mic profile. But my first thought was, "Why does that author get a photo and byline and Twitter link and I don't?" Then, Oh. I have to provide that information myself.. So I did, and it immediately appeared below my article. That happened when I published my hoarding essay with The Washington Post. The initial version didn't mention my Twitter handle; I'd read plenty of other contributors' pieces, so knew that was standard. I asked, and it immediately went up. It was a simple mistake, but one I doubt anyone else would notice.
That's why it's so important to know what you're entitled to, and stick up for yourself. I check anything that has my name on it, from articles to book cover copy (front and back), because my name is my reputation, which is what I use to help get me speaking and teaching gigs and new writing assignments. My sense is that a lot of people simply get grouchy or upset or vent when they seem something that seems unfair when it comes to their work, but I fully believe that what will get your farther than negativity is simply being tenacious about asking for what you deserve.
So am I upset that my column is over? Not really, because now my time is freed up to pursue bigger, more lucrative projects. I loved the column, but it's time has come and gone. I'm still writing my DAME sex column every other Wednesday, which I love doing, and will keep writing about sex, but also about books, babies, body image and whatever else catches my eye.
Here's the thing: I'm not a naturally glass half full kind of person, but I've had to be. Freelancing is the ultimate in at will employment, and I've had numerous gigs end, from my Village Voice Lusty Lady column to my stint editing Sex Diaries for New York magazine site Daily Intel. Just last month, I unexpectedly found myself with two short stories I'd expected to be published in an anthology, but weren't. I promptly published one on Lady Smut and submitted the other to Tamsin Flowers' Superotica Advent Calendar. For me, being pro-active simply feels much better than wallowing in bad news. It makes me believe the future is going to be infinitely better than the past, because I'm in charge of making it so.
So with that in mind, I want to share the three biggest lessons/takeaways I learned from writing 51 weekly columns for Philadelphia City Paper (there were a few weeks my column didn't run due to space issues).
1. Look far and wide for subjects
Yes, my column was published by a Philadelphia alt weekly, but I did my best to make it relevant to global readers. I learned when writing for the Voice that with the online edition, the column could be read by anyone, anywhere. I also didn't and don't live in Philadelphia, so I wasn't going to be able to cover too many local events, though I did take the time and spend the money to travel to Philly several times for local profiles. However, what's most fascinating to me is that almost everything I covered potentially could have wider interest. I wrote about a UK sex blogger's dick pics, which proved especially popular. Had nothing to do with Philadelphia per se, but it was about something many people were interested in, so it did well online.
I'd never written a weekly column before, and the pace often felt relentless. I wound up planning several weeks ahead just to get a grasp on things, which made it tough at the end to have already done research for upcoming columns and suddenly have no home for them. But that constant search for the new and novel forced me to broaden my horizons and seek out experts who I hadn't encountered before. I paid attention the world of sexuality in a way I hadn't been before writing the column, and I believe I'm more knowledgeable for that effort.
2. I want to have an impact on the world with my words
Going along with the potential global impact, I learned that I could break a story, and that I loved doing it. In January, my profile of my friend Crista Anne and her OrgasmQuest got picked up by numerous media outlets, including Jezebel, Refinery29, and many others, and led to Dr. Drew discussing it on his HLN show, including an appearance by Crista, prompted by the social media response to his posting about the topic. Seeing how fast and how far this topic spread, including to international press, made me realize I have good instincts. I obviously didn't know in advance the response the story would get, but this buoyed me when pitching other venues.
Last week, I broke another story about an acquaintance, based on what I'd seen her post on Facebook. My first article for Mic, "This Woman Is Fighting Fat-Shaming With These Awesome, Girl Scout-Inspired "Fatty" Badges," has now led to pieces at HelloGiggles, Cosmopolitan , Bustle, The Stir, APlus (Ashton Kutcher's website devoted to "positive journalism") and even People.com, and was even shared on Facebook by Planned Parenthood of Oregon. How could I not find that gratifying?
On both personal and professional levels, this feels good. It's not so much about outside validation, as knowing that my words resonate with others, and because of them, something I thought was powerful is becoming even more powerful.
3. I have to be the very best advocate for myself I can be
Finally, what may be the biggest lesson: I learned that I have to advocate for myself every step of the way. For instance, some of the early stories about OrgasmQuest didn't credit and/or link to my Philadelphia City Paper column. So I hopped right on email and asked for a link, and I believe every source I asked for did it. This weekend, I realized that I hadn't fully filled in my Mic profile. But my first thought was, "Why does that author get a photo and byline and Twitter link and I don't?" Then, Oh. I have to provide that information myself.. So I did, and it immediately appeared below my article. That happened when I published my hoarding essay with The Washington Post. The initial version didn't mention my Twitter handle; I'd read plenty of other contributors' pieces, so knew that was standard. I asked, and it immediately went up. It was a simple mistake, but one I doubt anyone else would notice.
That's why it's so important to know what you're entitled to, and stick up for yourself. I check anything that has my name on it, from articles to book cover copy (front and back), because my name is my reputation, which is what I use to help get me speaking and teaching gigs and new writing assignments. My sense is that a lot of people simply get grouchy or upset or vent when they seem something that seems unfair when it comes to their work, but I fully believe that what will get your farther than negativity is simply being tenacious about asking for what you deserve.
So am I upset that my column is over? Not really, because now my time is freed up to pursue bigger, more lucrative projects. I loved the column, but it's time has come and gone. I'm still writing my DAME sex column every other Wednesday, which I love doing, and will keep writing about sex, but also about books, babies, body image and whatever else catches my eye.
October 4, 2015
How the Steubenville rape case inspired new young adult novel What We Saw
Aaron Hartzler's new young adult novel What We Saw, published by HarperTeen, was directly inspired by the Steubenville rape case, and features a similar story line about teens, adults and media in a sports-minded small town questioning whether a sexual assault occurred at a party where teens were drinking and documenting their partying on social media. Check out my interview with Hartzler at Salon, and read the book - it's excellent!
October 1, 2015
Goodbye, Philadelphia City Paper sex column, I've learned so much from writing you
Last September, I woke up on the Sunday morning of CatalystCon West to an email asking if I'd like to start writing a sex column for Philadelphia alternative weekly newspaper Philadelphia City Paper. It had been eight years since my Lusty Lady column in The Village Voice ended, and I was game. I've since written 51 columns, the latest on "Sexual Politics" and featuring a photo of Donald Trump, and next week's, my 52nd, will be my last, because the paper is being shut down. As they wrote yesterday, in what had to be an almost impossibly tough news story to cover:
So what's next for me? I'm still writing my Shameless Sex column at DAME on everything from baby-making sex to questioning "orgasm equality" to sapiosexuals to being offered $3,500 for one night of sexual adventure, and looking for as much freelance writing as I can handle.
If you're an editor, I'd love to talk to you about contributing to your newspaper, magazine, website, etc., and can be reached at rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com. I actually am looking for topics beyond sex, though of course I will always write about sex and dating, but I like to expand my beats of books, pop culture, body image, hoarding and whatever else strikes my fancy. I have several projects and essays I've been wanting to work on but haven't had the time, so I will be looking into those, and preparing to teach my next LitReactor online erotica writing class, which starts November 3rd, and prepping for the release of my 40th birthday and the anthology that publishes that day, Dirty Dates . So I have a lot on my plate, but will miss the challenge of this weekly column, and wish all the staff of Philadelphia City Paper the best.
You may have read this afternoon that Philadelphia City Paper had been sold and would cease publication as of next Thursday, October 8.I want to thank Lilian Swanson for plucking me out of everyone else she could have chosen. Writing a weekly sex column was an incredible learning experience. You have to always be on top of your subjects and what's happening in the world in a way I had never been before. I got to see what it was like to have a column, and its subject, OrgasmQuest, go viral. I got to approach Valentine's Day from a polyamorous perspective on metamours. And so much more. Writing that column made me feel part of the writing world in a way I remembered from my Voice days, let me profile fascinating people and kept me on my toes. It let me feel part of a city where I don't live, but now live in its vicinity.
This came as a surprise to us, too.
So what's next for me? I'm still writing my Shameless Sex column at DAME on everything from baby-making sex to questioning "orgasm equality" to sapiosexuals to being offered $3,500 for one night of sexual adventure, and looking for as much freelance writing as I can handle.
If you're an editor, I'd love to talk to you about contributing to your newspaper, magazine, website, etc., and can be reached at rachelkramerbussel at gmail.com. I actually am looking for topics beyond sex, though of course I will always write about sex and dating, but I like to expand my beats of books, pop culture, body image, hoarding and whatever else strikes my fancy. I have several projects and essays I've been wanting to work on but haven't had the time, so I will be looking into those, and preparing to teach my next LitReactor online erotica writing class, which starts November 3rd, and prepping for the release of my 40th birthday and the anthology that publishes that day, Dirty Dates . So I have a lot on my plate, but will miss the challenge of this weekly column, and wish all the staff of Philadelphia City Paper the best.
Rad Fatty Merit Badges, inspired by Nicole Arbour's "Dear Fat People" video, fight fat-shaming
I wrote my first article for Mic, a site I read every day and highly recommend, about Stacy Bias's Rad Fatty Merit Badges. She's funding the stickers and buttons through Indiegogo, and her immediate inspiration was Nicole Arbour's awful "Dear Fat People" video. Check it out. I was inspired to read about this because while she's done many larger projects, this one grew out of an in-the-moment inspiration and the reaction to it. As someone whose middle name could be "overthinking," I decided as I was working on this piece that I want to be more pro-active in general in my life, because you never know what will grow out of your smallest actions.
The 8 rad fatty designs
a great Stacy Bias quote
The 8 rad fatty designs
a great Stacy Bias quote
September 30, 2015
I have a hot new book coming out in 2016!
At some point, when I have free time (ha ha ha), I will post more about what it means to me to have edited the forthcoming in January
Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volume 1
(the new name for what what I had called Best Women's Erotica 2016), because it's an incredible career high, especially since the stories I've had published in previous editions are some of my absolute favorites I've written. But today I sent over 200 rejection emails and 20 acceptance emails, filed two articles and did so many other things that at one point, I looked up and legitimately wasn't sure where I was for a few seconds. It was like I'd woken up from a dream, but I was at my desk. Yes, that's how crazy this week is making me. If you submitted a story to the book and haven't heard back (check your inbox and spam folder too), email me ASAP at bwe2016 at gmail.com and I will respond.
So instead of everything I had planned to say about this book, which I am now in the paperwork/contracts/sending payment stage of, I will just share the cover. I will also say to all the people who submitted whose work I couldn't include, and anyone who had wanted to submit but didn't, if I am given the chance to edit another volume of this series, I hope to make it as smart and sexy and creative as this one. I have no idea if I will be editing any more anthologies, let alone this famed series, and today is not a day I even want to contemplate anything of the sort, given how exhausted I am. But if I should be so lucky as to edit another volume, I will once again make room in it for many new authors I've never worked with, and new voices. That was one of my top priorities with this volume and I can't wait for it to be out in the world in January. Postcards and readings and promotions to come! This is an important book for me for many reasons, and I will share more about that as soon as I can. Once the table of contents is finalized, I will post it and share why I selected the stories I did. I can promise you now: there's hotness, variety, threesomes, romance, kink, geekiness and much more.
So instead of everything I had planned to say about this book, which I am now in the paperwork/contracts/sending payment stage of, I will just share the cover. I will also say to all the people who submitted whose work I couldn't include, and anyone who had wanted to submit but didn't, if I am given the chance to edit another volume of this series, I hope to make it as smart and sexy and creative as this one. I have no idea if I will be editing any more anthologies, let alone this famed series, and today is not a day I even want to contemplate anything of the sort, given how exhausted I am. But if I should be so lucky as to edit another volume, I will once again make room in it for many new authors I've never worked with, and new voices. That was one of my top priorities with this volume and I can't wait for it to be out in the world in January. Postcards and readings and promotions to come! This is an important book for me for many reasons, and I will share more about that as soon as I can. Once the table of contents is finalized, I will post it and share why I selected the stories I did. I can promise you now: there's hotness, variety, threesomes, romance, kink, geekiness and much more.
A stranger wanted to pay me $3,500 to sleep with him - you won't believe what happened next
I learned a lot about myself, sex work, money, labor and value while writing my latest DAME column, "I Was Offered $3,500 to Have Sex with a Stranger. Thanks to Melissa Petro and Kimberlee Cline for sharing their thoughts for the column. Check it out now, and I welcome suggestions on future topics to cover at rachelcitypaper at gmail.com - you can also read my entire DAME Shameless Sex column archives.
September 29, 2015
Sale this week: Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women is only $1.99 on Kindle, Nook and Google Play
This week, I've got Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women on sale for $1.99 on Kindle! And of course it's not just "for women" but that's how book marketing goes. You can get it now through October 5th for the sale price for Kindle, Nook and Google Play.
Just want to take a moment to appreciate the mighty ebook. Many of the publishers I worked with early on in my career are no more, which means my books are out of print, because they were never issued as ebooks. Yes, I could take the time to have them scanned in or typed (because I created them many computers ago and don't have the original files, because I never thought that would be an issue when I was young and new at this), and make ebooks and audiobooks out of them. Maybe someday I will, but I don't have time at the moment. My point is, though, that I love that these books do exist as ebooks, and that many exist as print, ebook and audiobooks because different people want to listen in different ways. My personal preference is print, because I think it's easier on my middle-aged eyes, but I admit that my instant gratification extreme impatience side adores the way you can simply click and presto, a book is available for you to read in seconds. So with these sales, I just wanted to give my personal two cents. I of course wish every anthology I'd ever edited were available as an ebook, but since they're not, I'll focus on the ones that are (hint: the ones published by Cleis Press!).
Flashback to the beautiful Obsessed cupcakes served at the book party. I know it looks almost too beautiful to be real, but I was there, and it was indeed real!
Want a 100% free read? Check out my Big Handsome Man story from the book, "I Want To Hold Your Hand." I originally wrote that when I was on a "name erotica stories after songs" kick, which I plan to revisit. Enjoy!
Here's the full table of contents:
Foreword: Behind the Mask of Obsession Caridad Piñeiro
Introduction Rachel Kramer Bussel
Silent Treatment Donna George Storey
One Night in Paris Kayla Perrin
Concubine Portia Da Costa
Love and Demotion Logan Belle
Mephisto Waltz Justine Elyot
Then Emerald
It’s Gotta Be Fate Jennifer Peters
Hooked Ariel Graham
Aftershocks Bella Andre
Secret Places Adele Haze
Loser Charlotte Stein
Here In Between Kristina Wright
Spellbound by Garnell Wallace
Raven’s Flight Andrea Dale
Raindrops and Rooftops Elizabeth Coldwell
Topiary K. D. Grace
I Want to Hold Your Hand Rachel Kramer Bussel
Storm Surge Teresa Noelle Roberts
Undercover Kink Louisa Harte
Just want to take a moment to appreciate the mighty ebook. Many of the publishers I worked with early on in my career are no more, which means my books are out of print, because they were never issued as ebooks. Yes, I could take the time to have them scanned in or typed (because I created them many computers ago and don't have the original files, because I never thought that would be an issue when I was young and new at this), and make ebooks and audiobooks out of them. Maybe someday I will, but I don't have time at the moment. My point is, though, that I love that these books do exist as ebooks, and that many exist as print, ebook and audiobooks because different people want to listen in different ways. My personal preference is print, because I think it's easier on my middle-aged eyes, but I admit that my instant gratification extreme impatience side adores the way you can simply click and presto, a book is available for you to read in seconds. So with these sales, I just wanted to give my personal two cents. I of course wish every anthology I'd ever edited were available as an ebook, but since they're not, I'll focus on the ones that are (hint: the ones published by Cleis Press!).
Flashback to the beautiful Obsessed cupcakes served at the book party. I know it looks almost too beautiful to be real, but I was there, and it was indeed real!
Want a 100% free read? Check out my Big Handsome Man story from the book, "I Want To Hold Your Hand." I originally wrote that when I was on a "name erotica stories after songs" kick, which I plan to revisit. Enjoy!
Here's the full table of contents:
Foreword: Behind the Mask of Obsession Caridad Piñeiro
Introduction Rachel Kramer Bussel
Silent Treatment Donna George Storey
One Night in Paris Kayla Perrin
Concubine Portia Da Costa
Love and Demotion Logan Belle
Mephisto Waltz Justine Elyot
Then Emerald
It’s Gotta Be Fate Jennifer Peters
Hooked Ariel Graham
Aftershocks Bella Andre
Secret Places Adele Haze
Loser Charlotte Stein
Here In Between Kristina Wright
Spellbound by Garnell Wallace
Raven’s Flight Andrea Dale
Raindrops and Rooftops Elizabeth Coldwell
Topiary K. D. Grace
I Want to Hold Your Hand Rachel Kramer Bussel
Storm Surge Teresa Noelle Roberts
Undercover Kink Louisa Harte
September 28, 2015
Why I'm keeping my movie date tonight
Tonight I'm going to see a movie I've been wanting to see since I first heard about it:
Pawn Sacrifice
, about chess players Bobby Fischer and Boris Spassky. We had a busy weekend and decided to see it tonight instead. Then this morning I was both catching up with writing assignments I'd hoped to finish over the weekend and received some new ones. I'm transcribing as fast as I can and brainstorming new pitches and a little overwhelmed, as weeks like this tend to make me.
So it would be very easy to cancel the movie date. After all, we could go another night this week. But one trait I'm trying to cure myself of is the tendency to put work before everything else. Yes, on some level, my work is what allows me to eat and pay rent and all those other niceties, including going to the movies. On the other hand, I didn't even take a break to shower today and my eyes are getting that achy feeling from staring at my screen all day. I deserve a break, and have an interview scheduled for 10 p.m.
Especially as I pretty much make getting pregnant my other full-time job, or at least, my part-time job, I'm realizing that being a crazed, stressed workaholic isn't something I would ever want to pass on to a child, should I be blessed enough to ever become a mom. I don't want to fall into the trap of thinking that working more hours means working smarter or better. It doesn't. The truth is, breaks are good for my brain, not to mention my eyes and fingers and the rest of my body. They help me reframe whatever I'm working on, see sentences in new ways. They're necessary, even though I don't often treat them as such. So I will be keeping my movie date, and back at my desk in a few hours to resume writing and interviewing and transcribing. I often feel like I'm making up this freelancing thing as I go along, and the part where I learn that more hours at my desk does not necessarily mean more money earned is a lesson I will likely have to keep relearning along the way.
So it would be very easy to cancel the movie date. After all, we could go another night this week. But one trait I'm trying to cure myself of is the tendency to put work before everything else. Yes, on some level, my work is what allows me to eat and pay rent and all those other niceties, including going to the movies. On the other hand, I didn't even take a break to shower today and my eyes are getting that achy feeling from staring at my screen all day. I deserve a break, and have an interview scheduled for 10 p.m.
Especially as I pretty much make getting pregnant my other full-time job, or at least, my part-time job, I'm realizing that being a crazed, stressed workaholic isn't something I would ever want to pass on to a child, should I be blessed enough to ever become a mom. I don't want to fall into the trap of thinking that working more hours means working smarter or better. It doesn't. The truth is, breaks are good for my brain, not to mention my eyes and fingers and the rest of my body. They help me reframe whatever I'm working on, see sentences in new ways. They're necessary, even though I don't often treat them as such. So I will be keeping my movie date, and back at my desk in a few hours to resume writing and interviewing and transcribing. I often feel like I'm making up this freelancing thing as I go along, and the part where I learn that more hours at my desk does not necessarily mean more money earned is a lesson I will likely have to keep relearning along the way.
From buying my first vibrator at Eve's Garden in 1997 to teaching erotica writing there in 2015
Way back around 1997, when I was in, I believe, my first year of law school at NYU, I decided it was high time I got myself a vibrator. Beyond that, I don't recall the specifics, save that I had been reading erotica since high school and was highly curious. I lived in the law school dorms at 240 Mercer Street in Greenwich Village, near some porn stores on 6th Avenue, but didn't feel comfortable buying a sex toy from one of them, so off I went to Eve's Garden on 57th Street. It was, and still is, located in an otherwise innocuous looking office building. You don't have to say "I'm going to the 12th floor" to anyone as you get on the elevator and proceed to a similarly innocuous door that welcomes you into a cozy women friendly sex toy store. This was at least a year, and probably two years, before I ever thought about, let alone tried my hand at, writing erotica.
I know the first vibrator I bought was a rabbit vibe, and that I spent many an hour enjoying it. I truly don't remember that much about that early visit to Eve's Garden, but I can tell you about my recent visit during my trip to New York. I walked in on an otherwise quiet Friday afternoon after taking the bus from Atlantic City. I was there because I'll be teaching an erotica writing workshop at the shop on Thursday, October 15th, and wanted to check in and see what was on sale and get a copy of founder Dell Williams' memoir Revolution in the Garden. Well, lo and behold, not only do they stock my erotica anthologies such as Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica, The Big Book of Orgasms and Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, they gifted me a copy of the book I'd gone there for. I was overjoyed, and awed at how full circle I'd come, from being a confused, frustrated law student who wasn't sure what her professional future held, to carving out this path for the last fifteen or so years of writing, editing and teaching. I spent a good while browsing, and bought massage oil and a massage candle to use at home, and took some photos. I can't wait to return to Eve's Garden for my workshop and inspire others to get writing! Workshop details:
October 15, 7-8:30 pm
Erotica Writing 101 workshop
Eve's Garden, 119 West 57th Street, Suite 1201, New York, NY
Facebook event pageRachel Kramer Bussel, professional erotica author and editor of over 50 erotica anthologies, such as Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica, The Big Book of Orgasms, Best Bondage Erotica 2015 and more, will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing. Learn how to get started, find your voice, and write against type. You'll discover how to incorporate everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies into your writing, and make them fit for particular magazines and anthologies. She'll also talk about submitting your work and keeping up with the thriving erotica market (including anthologies, ebooks, magazines and websites). Whether you're writing to that special someone, penning longtime fantasies, or want to earn cash for your dirty words, this workshop is for you. Please bring paper or writing implements or a laptop to use for in class writing exercises. A bibliography with erotica resources will be provided. $20/person. Limited to 20 people. Register at Eve's Garden or by calling 212-757-8651. Doors at 6:45, class runs from 7-8:30 p.m. and includes a handout with resources.
Here's some photos I took during my recent visit, and I'll take more before my workshop.
Yes, that's an Eiffel Tower dildo!
There's a great books section - I promise I'm not just saying that because they stock my titles!
pretty glass dildos
A fitting display for Revolution in the Garden, a fascinating feminist memoir, which I recommend and will be posting more about soon!
I know the first vibrator I bought was a rabbit vibe, and that I spent many an hour enjoying it. I truly don't remember that much about that early visit to Eve's Garden, but I can tell you about my recent visit during my trip to New York. I walked in on an otherwise quiet Friday afternoon after taking the bus from Atlantic City. I was there because I'll be teaching an erotica writing workshop at the shop on Thursday, October 15th, and wanted to check in and see what was on sale and get a copy of founder Dell Williams' memoir Revolution in the Garden. Well, lo and behold, not only do they stock my erotica anthologies such as Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica, The Big Book of Orgasms and Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, they gifted me a copy of the book I'd gone there for. I was overjoyed, and awed at how full circle I'd come, from being a confused, frustrated law student who wasn't sure what her professional future held, to carving out this path for the last fifteen or so years of writing, editing and teaching. I spent a good while browsing, and bought massage oil and a massage candle to use at home, and took some photos. I can't wait to return to Eve's Garden for my workshop and inspire others to get writing! Workshop details:
October 15, 7-8:30 pm
Erotica Writing 101 workshop
Eve's Garden, 119 West 57th Street, Suite 1201, New York, NY
Facebook event pageRachel Kramer Bussel, professional erotica author and editor of over 50 erotica anthologies, such as Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica, The Big Book of Orgasms, Best Bondage Erotica 2015 and more, will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing. Learn how to get started, find your voice, and write against type. You'll discover how to incorporate everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies into your writing, and make them fit for particular magazines and anthologies. She'll also talk about submitting your work and keeping up with the thriving erotica market (including anthologies, ebooks, magazines and websites). Whether you're writing to that special someone, penning longtime fantasies, or want to earn cash for your dirty words, this workshop is for you. Please bring paper or writing implements or a laptop to use for in class writing exercises. A bibliography with erotica resources will be provided. $20/person. Limited to 20 people. Register at Eve's Garden or by calling 212-757-8651. Doors at 6:45, class runs from 7-8:30 p.m. and includes a handout with resources.
Here's some photos I took during my recent visit, and I'll take more before my workshop.
Yes, that's an Eiffel Tower dildo!
There's a great books section - I promise I'm not just saying that because they stock my titles!
pretty glass dildos
A fitting display for Revolution in the Garden, a fascinating feminist memoir, which I recommend and will be posting more about soon!
