Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 141
October 29, 2011
I'm teaching Erotica 101 at MOMENTUMCON
In addition to my SXSW Interactive panel in March 2012, at the end of the month I'm doing something I rarely do these days: teaching Erotica 101, at MOMENTUMCON, the conference that last year featured Susie Bright, Tristan Taormino, Jenny Block, Twanna A. Hines (who's back this year) and tons of other amazing people working in various arenas of the world of sexuality, and this year has an amazing, amazing lineup. I'm extremely impressed and honored to be part of it. I always tailor my erotic writing workshops to my environment, so expect a few feminist erotica exercises in the mix, and I especially enjoy getting anthology submissions from people who've taken my classes (that's where Megan Butcher's story in
Best Bondage Erotica 2011
had its genesis).
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I'm interested in everything being offered, but especially this, because I need to learn more:
Blogging 202: Take Your Site to the Next Level
Dangerous Lilly & AAG
Are you working with a small, free blog on Blogger or WordPress and are ready to take your site to the next level? Attend this hands-on training to learn how to use your site to make a bigger statement with a focus on better accessibility for readers and greater appeal to potential advertisers. Topics covered include:
* Do's and don'ts of design, layout and content
* Dealing with paid advertising
* Making the switch to a self-hosted platform
* What to expect in terms of effort and cost
* Maintaining professional and engaging interactions with peers, readers and advertisers
Join long-time veteran bloggers Lilly (dangerouslilly.com) and AAG (aagblog.com) for a session that will give your site a boost.
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I'm interested in everything being offered, but especially this, because I need to learn more:
Blogging 202: Take Your Site to the Next Level
Dangerous Lilly & AAG
Are you working with a small, free blog on Blogger or WordPress and are ready to take your site to the next level? Attend this hands-on training to learn how to use your site to make a bigger statement with a focus on better accessibility for readers and greater appeal to potential advertisers. Topics covered include:
* Do's and don'ts of design, layout and content
* Dealing with paid advertising
* Making the switch to a self-hosted platform
* What to expect in terms of effort and cost
* Maintaining professional and engaging interactions with peers, readers and advertisers
Join long-time veteran bloggers Lilly (dangerouslilly.com) and AAG (aagblog.com) for a session that will give your site a boost.
October 27, 2011
"Adele, Joni Mitchell and Me" - putting the personal in personal essays
I've been writing lots of personal essays lately, more on the way, including one next week I sold to a website I've been a fan of since it launched. Promise more cheerful ones soon, maybe even one about judging cupcake contests. I also booked my trip to Portland, Maine for next month, my birthday present to myself. And I'm doing National Novel Writing Month. I'm not gonna "make a lot of money and quit this crazy scene." I'm here, now, as tough as these last few weeks have been in their way and as challenging as the next few months/years will be. I'm figuring it all out as I go. One day at a time. Indeed.
"Adele, Joni and Me: Or My Two-Song Broken Heart Playlist
I can't seem to go a day without hearing "Someone Like You" by Adele. At a deli, a café, in a store or on my very own iTunes. I've been listening to it for months now as an anthem of a relationship that needed to end but that I didn't want to end. It was at once hazy and undefined, punctuated by periods of intense attention and interaction followed by fallow periods of silence, extreme highs and lows interspersed in ways that fed off each other in what I'll delicately call not the healthiest way.
The Adele song is not an exact transliteration of that relationship, but the spirit behind it is one I've tried to feel all the way through me. She says in the link above that she was miserable and lonely when she wrote it, that it came at a moment when she was "on her knees" and that this song summarizes her entire relationship, and that it's made her who she is at the moment, and that is the part I deeply, deeply relate to. Wherever I am, when it comes on, I have to pause and listen to the whole thing, truly listening in a way I rarely do to even my favorite songs. You think you know what they say, you sing or hum along even if you don't know all the words, or maybe you just listen to the throatiness of Adele's voice, the power and beauty and sadness and love wrapped around every note.
Read the whole thing (and if you like it, please like it on Facebook and/or pass it on - I want to make an impression over at Open Salon, which I also encourage you to check out, SO many amazing essays). And yeah, I'm striving for new topics, not old ones, but sometimes words just want to come out.
"Adele, Joni and Me: Or My Two-Song Broken Heart Playlist
I can't seem to go a day without hearing "Someone Like You" by Adele. At a deli, a café, in a store or on my very own iTunes. I've been listening to it for months now as an anthem of a relationship that needed to end but that I didn't want to end. It was at once hazy and undefined, punctuated by periods of intense attention and interaction followed by fallow periods of silence, extreme highs and lows interspersed in ways that fed off each other in what I'll delicately call not the healthiest way.
The Adele song is not an exact transliteration of that relationship, but the spirit behind it is one I've tried to feel all the way through me. She says in the link above that she was miserable and lonely when she wrote it, that it came at a moment when she was "on her knees" and that this song summarizes her entire relationship, and that it's made her who she is at the moment, and that is the part I deeply, deeply relate to. Wherever I am, when it comes on, I have to pause and listen to the whole thing, truly listening in a way I rarely do to even my favorite songs. You think you know what they say, you sing or hum along even if you don't know all the words, or maybe you just listen to the throatiness of Adele's voice, the power and beauty and sadness and love wrapped around every note.
Read the whole thing (and if you like it, please like it on Facebook and/or pass it on - I want to make an impression over at Open Salon, which I also encourage you to check out, SO many amazing essays). And yeah, I'm striving for new topics, not old ones, but sometimes words just want to come out.
October 26, 2011
My great-aunt in Occupy Wall Street video
I haven't said much about Occupy Wall Street, because I am still processing my own job search, my own not having to go to Wall Street every day, and trying to figure out my career and my own steps, positive and negative, that have brought me to being 35 with what feels like no concrete education in how I currently make money or discernible job skills, only a passion that waxes and wanes. I know that's not true from having written down what I think my skills are on my resume, but still, at times when I look at that document it seems fraudulent, foolish, like I only got wherever I am, this crumbling, slippery non-place, by luck. I do work hard, I know that better than anyone, but I know my job right now is to work harder, think more sharply, look anywhere and everywhere, figure out exactly who I want to be and how to get to become that person. The first part of that equation is, I suspect, going to be the far greater challenge.
I stumbled upon Occupy Wall Street after buying office supplies at Staples the other day, hooks to hang up my coats that litter my floor, cork boards for stories and plots, a notepad because I like the feel of my pen on paper. That is where my focus is these days, if I'm lucky and not sleeping and moping. I'm not saying I don't care, I just am focused on resurrecting the mess I've made of my life. That is what unemployment (or self-employment) feels like for me: failure, even though I know it's not all personal failure.
I don't share the anger of the people I felt and saw at Occupy Wall Street, and truly am not educated enough to know about all the demands being made. Banks seem like a foreign institution, as someone who's declared bankruptcy and wasted three years and hundreds of thousands of dollars on law school, who's used to live paycheck to paycheck and now is trying to figure out where to go from here, whether NYC is a feasible or even desirable city to live in, whether I have the means to actually move should I find a new opportunity. I feel ancient as I face 36 in two very short weeks and, perhaps it's selfish, but so is writing, always. I never said I'm not selfish, and since all of my own financial quagmire is self-created, that is where my anger lies, and I'm using it to try to pursue and create new income-generating opportunities and, barring that, simply getting words down, rather than assuming, as I usually do, that they are pointless. That is my hurdle and, right now, the only one I can handle. That doesn't mean I'm not paying attention, only that that struggle feels removed from me trying to get and complete assignments, to make sure my books sell out their advances, to make sure I am a better person today than I was yesterday.
But that doesn't mean I'm not super proud of my great-aunt, the third person featured in this Occupy Wall Street video!
I stumbled upon Occupy Wall Street after buying office supplies at Staples the other day, hooks to hang up my coats that litter my floor, cork boards for stories and plots, a notepad because I like the feel of my pen on paper. That is where my focus is these days, if I'm lucky and not sleeping and moping. I'm not saying I don't care, I just am focused on resurrecting the mess I've made of my life. That is what unemployment (or self-employment) feels like for me: failure, even though I know it's not all personal failure.
I don't share the anger of the people I felt and saw at Occupy Wall Street, and truly am not educated enough to know about all the demands being made. Banks seem like a foreign institution, as someone who's declared bankruptcy and wasted three years and hundreds of thousands of dollars on law school, who's used to live paycheck to paycheck and now is trying to figure out where to go from here, whether NYC is a feasible or even desirable city to live in, whether I have the means to actually move should I find a new opportunity. I feel ancient as I face 36 in two very short weeks and, perhaps it's selfish, but so is writing, always. I never said I'm not selfish, and since all of my own financial quagmire is self-created, that is where my anger lies, and I'm using it to try to pursue and create new income-generating opportunities and, barring that, simply getting words down, rather than assuming, as I usually do, that they are pointless. That is my hurdle and, right now, the only one I can handle. That doesn't mean I'm not paying attention, only that that struggle feels removed from me trying to get and complete assignments, to make sure my books sell out their advances, to make sure I am a better person today than I was yesterday.
But that doesn't mean I'm not super proud of my great-aunt, the third person featured in this Occupy Wall Street video!
Halloween ghost cupcake fun
Just some of the fun we're having over at Cupcakes Take the Cake this Halloween season. I got to try BlakeyCakes last year in Los Angeles and they were amazing! Truly. I hope I get to again this year. Visit BlakeyCakes on Facebook for more information.
(this is the cute one; click through for the spooky ghost)
(this is the cute one; click through for the spooky ghost)
The Guardian UK piece on sexual fantasies and interveiw at OPEN
I wrote "Our fantasies say less about us than we think" (their title) for The Guardian's Comment is Free. I hope that title doesn't imply that I think fantasies aren't important, because the point of my piece is that I do. Hoping to have more pieces to share with you soon.
The problem with assuming that a given sexual fantasy (or appreciation of erotic books or films about a given subject) means anything more than being aroused by your own imagination or a form of entertainment is that it inhibits people from getting in touch with their real sexual feelings, even in their own minds. "Will this mean I'm gay? Perverted? Into group sex?" We become our own personal thought police in this way, which doesn't serve anyone's best interests. And it's not just self-policing; the idea that some kinds of fantasies are "wrong" is what leads to attempts to censor certain kinds of material, such as proposed Japanese legislation, which would have censored anime and manga art if characters looked under 18.
I was also interviewed at OPEN, a great new site. We discuss my Open tattoo, erotic writing inspiration, the strangest submission I've ever received, and other erotica concerns. You can read "The End" in the writing samples section of my website (which I also want to revamp and add to soon).
MAG: What other art forms inspire you?
RKB: All sorts of art inspires me. Music inspires me, sometimes a specific lyric, like the Sleater-Kinney quote from the song "Jenny" at the start of "The End," a breakup erotica story that was in Best Lesbian Erotica and Best American Erotica (Susie Bright told me it made her cry), or a title. I wrote a story called "Bed-In" for a book whose theme was "Between the Sheets" and used John Lennon and Yoko Ono's bed-in as a frame of reference, but went in a whole other direction. Recently, I watched the documentary My Kid Could Paint That and it somehow led to me writing a story set in an art gallery called "The Heart of Chaos" for Shanna Germain's upcoming romantic BDSM anthology Bound by Lust. The connection is extremely tenuous, but it makes sense to me.
The problem with assuming that a given sexual fantasy (or appreciation of erotic books or films about a given subject) means anything more than being aroused by your own imagination or a form of entertainment is that it inhibits people from getting in touch with their real sexual feelings, even in their own minds. "Will this mean I'm gay? Perverted? Into group sex?" We become our own personal thought police in this way, which doesn't serve anyone's best interests. And it's not just self-policing; the idea that some kinds of fantasies are "wrong" is what leads to attempts to censor certain kinds of material, such as proposed Japanese legislation, which would have censored anime and manga art if characters looked under 18.
I was also interviewed at OPEN, a great new site. We discuss my Open tattoo, erotic writing inspiration, the strangest submission I've ever received, and other erotica concerns. You can read "The End" in the writing samples section of my website (which I also want to revamp and add to soon).
MAG: What other art forms inspire you?
RKB: All sorts of art inspires me. Music inspires me, sometimes a specific lyric, like the Sleater-Kinney quote from the song "Jenny" at the start of "The End," a breakup erotica story that was in Best Lesbian Erotica and Best American Erotica (Susie Bright told me it made her cry), or a title. I wrote a story called "Bed-In" for a book whose theme was "Between the Sheets" and used John Lennon and Yoko Ono's bed-in as a frame of reference, but went in a whole other direction. Recently, I watched the documentary My Kid Could Paint That and it somehow led to me writing a story set in an art gallery called "The Heart of Chaos" for Shanna Germain's upcoming romantic BDSM anthology Bound by Lust. The connection is extremely tenuous, but it makes sense to me.
Sex Diary: "The Bisexual LA Woman Getting off on Game of Thrones and Suicide Girls"
Proud editing moment with this week's sex diary: Even though I've never seen Game of Thrones, I knew how it was spelled (not "The" Game of Thrones). It's the little things, right? I hope you like this sex diary and if you have an exciting sex life or know someone who does who might want to write about it anonymously, email me at sexdiaries at nymag.com with a little more about your situation and I'll be in touch.
"The Bisexual LA Woman Getting off on Game of Thrones and Suicide Girls"
"The Bisexual LA Woman Getting off on Game of Thrones and Suicide Girls"
October 25, 2011
I'm a blogging fool
And if there's any month to go all out with cupcake blogging, this is it! Halloween, baby. Please check out (and pass on if you're so inclined) what I've done with my afternoon:
10 candy corn cupcakes for Halloween and bonus candy corn cake pops!
10 candy corn cupcakes for Halloween and bonus candy corn cake pops!
How How to Save a Life by Sara Zarr sucked me in
I have what I guess could be called a bad habit of skipping from one book to another. It's not necessarily because I don't like the one(s) I'm reading, but more that my curiosity about whatever's new compels me to start reading whatever catches my eye, to see if I must read it right away. And in the case of the new YA novel
How to Save a Life
by Sara Zarr (who's on a book tour), the answer is yes, I need to devour it ASAP. I got it for free from Amazon Vine in the mail today and am already totally engrossed. The story is told from alternating viewpoints, that of Jill, whose father has died ten months previously and her mother decides she wants to adopt a baby, and Mandy, who is pregnant and looking to give her child up for adoption. One of my favorite novels tackling pregnancy and motherhood (and, in that case, OCD) is
Little Beauties
by Kim Addonizio, which I'd like to reread. The way the three narrators in that story, including a fetus-turned-baby, collide and contradict and interact, is marvelous, but that's another post (been thinking about it, and mentally ill, possibly unreliable narrators and how fascinating they are after finishing excellent OCD young adult novel
A Scary Scene in a Scary Movie
by Matt Blackstone).
Someday maybe someone can teach me how to properly use Blogger and indent and make things look pretty like I can on Tumblr. Until then, my ham-handed clumsyblogging, alas. Speaking of this blog, I'm looking into revamping it (I know, it's forever overdue, but rent paying takes priority). Stay tuned! From How to Save a Life by Sara Zarr, from Mandy's POV, as she's riding on a train to meet Jill and her mom for the first time:
"Um, hey." He shifts his body so that he's sitting on his side, facing me and leaning close. "It's Peña, by the way. My last name. And I'm..." He laughs. Lines appear around the corners of his eyes, and there's tea on his breath and stubble on his chin. "This is stupid. I'm not really married. I just said that because I thought you were trying to hit on me or something, and it seemed kind of weird, because...well, then I thought obviously picking up some stranger is the last thing on your mind right now. And you're probably half my age, and most likely you have someone, anyway, given..." He gestures to my belly. "That."
This. This rolls inside me, stretches a limb. I touch where it moved and wonder if it can feel my hand there.
"I'm nineteen." Almost.
"There you go. That's exactly half. I'm thirty-eight." He sips form his cup. "So, how long before you're a mother?"
I smile. I'll never be a mother. "About a month, I think."
Alex scratches his stubble. "Most women I know can tell you to the minute."
"I'm different." Being so specific with dates is silly. No one measures a life in weeks and days. You measure it in years and by the things that happen to you, and when this life is a whole year, I won't be in it."
That passages was so bold to me; I'm fascinated by Mandy and what she's going through to deal with her pregnancy, how tough she sounds, even though I'm sure as the novel progresses (I'm on page 22), that toughness will have to crack a little. And the "This rolls inside me" line also was so powerful, and taught me more than that umpteen writing books strewn around my bags and my floor about what I want to learn how to do with my fiction.
Someday maybe someone can teach me how to properly use Blogger and indent and make things look pretty like I can on Tumblr. Until then, my ham-handed clumsyblogging, alas. Speaking of this blog, I'm looking into revamping it (I know, it's forever overdue, but rent paying takes priority). Stay tuned! From How to Save a Life by Sara Zarr, from Mandy's POV, as she's riding on a train to meet Jill and her mom for the first time:
"Um, hey." He shifts his body so that he's sitting on his side, facing me and leaning close. "It's Peña, by the way. My last name. And I'm..." He laughs. Lines appear around the corners of his eyes, and there's tea on his breath and stubble on his chin. "This is stupid. I'm not really married. I just said that because I thought you were trying to hit on me or something, and it seemed kind of weird, because...well, then I thought obviously picking up some stranger is the last thing on your mind right now. And you're probably half my age, and most likely you have someone, anyway, given..." He gestures to my belly. "That."
This. This rolls inside me, stretches a limb. I touch where it moved and wonder if it can feel my hand there.
"I'm nineteen." Almost.
"There you go. That's exactly half. I'm thirty-eight." He sips form his cup. "So, how long before you're a mother?"
I smile. I'll never be a mother. "About a month, I think."
Alex scratches his stubble. "Most women I know can tell you to the minute."
"I'm different." Being so specific with dates is silly. No one measures a life in weeks and days. You measure it in years and by the things that happen to you, and when this life is a whole year, I won't be in it."
That passages was so bold to me; I'm fascinated by Mandy and what she's going through to deal with her pregnancy, how tough she sounds, even though I'm sure as the novel progresses (I'm on page 22), that toughness will have to crack a little. And the "This rolls inside me" line also was so powerful, and taught me more than that umpteen writing books strewn around my bags and my floor about what I want to learn how to do with my fiction.
October 23, 2011
Why The Office's Mindy Kaling no longer eats cupcakes
Find out at Cupcakes Take the Cake in a hilarious excerpt from her chapter "The Day I Stopped Eating Cupcakes" (and, favor, if you like it, please pass it on). I'll have a proper review of her book
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
soon; it's funny and definitely worth checking out and, for me, the Matt & Ben part took me on a major nostalgia trip back to one of my most important relationships. I'll have to check but I'm pretty sure we saw Matt & Ben at PS 122. I have a horrible memory so I don't actually remember. To refresh (much more background in the book), but here's the New York Times review:
Finally it's both refreshing and absolutely delightful to hear insults delivered to real people -- especially those people who have been wildly overpraised and overpaid -- without apology. ''Matt & Ben'' names names, and we can be grateful to Ms. Kaling and Ms. Withers for undermining their own careers in Hollywood for our benefit.
Finally it's both refreshing and absolutely delightful to hear insults delivered to real people -- especially those people who have been wildly overpraised and overpaid -- without apology. ''Matt & Ben'' names names, and we can be grateful to Ms. Kaling and Ms. Withers for undermining their own careers in Hollywood for our benefit.
Macaroni and Cheese Off tonight is another reason I love NY
I haven't been so great about keeping up with what's going on in my city. I want to be on top of things, but I'm much more up on what's going on in bookstores, as that's my main beat, aside from sex, and the side of my writing I'm looking to expand on. That being said, I do want to start going to more fun events, like Monday night bingo at The West Cafe (I did try to go to The Moth on Thursday at Housing Works but the line was long and I was cold, not having quite mastered how to work my winter coat in to warm days/cool nights, so I've been leaving it at home). When I want to know about fun cheap places to go in New York, I always look at The Skint and it never disappoints! That's how I found out about today's The Mac-Off, which is both in Williamsburg and involves one of my favorite foods, macaroni and cheese!
The Mac-Off: 2nd Annual Mac and Cheese Fundraiser
Sunday, October 23
5pm to 8pm
Huckleberry Bar
588 Grand Street
$10 to judge, eat and booze
Probably not going to get to check it out, but I also found out via The Skint about a corn maze in Queens. I don't think I even knew they existed until I read the murder mystery (is "murder mystery" redundant or does "mystery" pretty much cover it? I feel like as a mystery reader I've never read a mystery that didn't involve a murder, yet I felt compelled to add "murder" to be sure you knew which kind of book I meant. Hmm...) Corpse on the Cob by Sue Ann Jaffarian, one of her excellent Odelia Gray series.
The Mac-Off: 2nd Annual Mac and Cheese Fundraiser
Sunday, October 23
5pm to 8pm
Huckleberry Bar
588 Grand Street
$10 to judge, eat and booze
Probably not going to get to check it out, but I also found out via The Skint about a corn maze in Queens. I don't think I even knew they existed until I read the murder mystery (is "murder mystery" redundant or does "mystery" pretty much cover it? I feel like as a mystery reader I've never read a mystery that didn't involve a murder, yet I felt compelled to add "murder" to be sure you knew which kind of book I meant. Hmm...) Corpse on the Cob by Sue Ann Jaffarian, one of her excellent Odelia Gray series.
