Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 137

Thanksgiving sex diary

More like the sex diary I'm blogging on Thanksgiving: "The Single Bicoastal Lesbian Smoking Lots of Weed With Two Gal Pals". I'm incredibly thankful to have this fun editing gig, and I hope you enjoy the weekly sex diaries. And if you know anyone who'd make a good diarist (they don't have to be in NYC, though that is preferred), have them email me at sexdiaries at nymag.com with a few sentences about their current sex life and their age, location, occupation, gender, sexual orientation and relationship status (info that's in each diary).

I'm thankful for Billy Bragg

I must admit I'm more of a sucker for Billy Bragg's love songs (check out Mary Lou Lord's gorgeous cover of "Ontario, Quebec and Me," which always gives me chills), and he picks some amazing collaborators (Wilco, Kirsty MacColl, etc.), but I truly love that he doesn't make a distinction. Well, maybe that's not quite right, but more that there are his political songs and his love songs and his brain and heart and talent all are there, in all of them (see "Sexuality, below"). And there's something so deceptively simple, or maybe just simple, about a man and a guitar.

Via Wikipedia:

I would then say that I am Mr. Love and Justice, and to check out the love songs. That's how I capture people. People do say to me, "I love your songs, but I just can't stand your politics." And I say, "Well, Republicans are always welcome. Come on over!" I would hate to stand at the door, saying to people, "Do you agree with these positions? If not, you can't come in."

Visit his website for the lyrics to this new version of "Waiting for The Great Leap Forwards."



Here he is talking about writing political songwriting (description via YouTube):

Visited London occupation to run a workshop on song writing. The Bank of Ideas is situated on Sun Street, Hackney in an abandoned office block purchased several years ago by the bank UBS. It is an enormous space complete with a 500-seater lecture hall. It has been opened to the public for the non-monetary trade of ideas to help solve the pressing economic, social and environmental problems of our time.

Party with Cupcakes Take the Cake December 5th!

Yes, Cupcakes Take the Cake is coming up on its 7th anniversary, and 15,000 posts later, we're throwing a party. Hard to believe, but totally awesome, especially with our 2012 Cupcake Cruise coming up in August. Do join us, and if you can't make it, I'd love it if you'd tell a friend. There are always more cupcakes than the eyes and stomach can possibly take in at our big parties and this one will be no exception, plus there are lots of awesome prizes! December 5th, 7-10 pm, SoHo Gallery of Digital Art, 138 Sullivan Street, NYC, $10 (buy tickets at Eventbrite).

Excited to read: Best Women's Erotica 2012

I haven't read Best Women's Erotica 2012 yet but I think it's pretty safe to say it's going to be as hot as all of Violet Blue's collections, and, hello, there's a story called "Tweetup." For all the geeky erotica readers!



Lots of my favorite writers, like Remittance Girl, Elizabeth Coldwell, Jacqueline Applebee, Tsaurah Litzky, Sommer Marsden and Donna George Storey, writers who are new to me, an writers whose work I'm just discovering, like Amelia Thornton, whose kinky outdoor sex story "Something to Ruin" is in Women in Lust .

My copy is hopefully arriving by UPS on Monday cause I wasn't home today to get it. I'll tell you more about it once I've read it, but definitely check it out, and coming up next month is Violet's One Night Only: Erotic Encounters , which includes my story "Rock Star Rewards." For the latest on Violet Blue, visit tinynibbles.com and follow her @violetblue on Twitter.

Via Amazon, the lineup for Best Women's Erotica 2012:

Drought by Olivia Glass
Tweetup by Louise Lush
Eddie's All Night Diner by K.D. Grace
Pleasure's Apprentice by Remittance Girl
The Nylon Curtain by Elizabeth Coldwell
A Big Deck by Rosalía Zizzo
Bad by Kay Jaybee
Dolly by Amelia Thornton
No Rest for the Wicked by Jacqueline Applebee
Skinheads by Jaqueline Applebee
The Skin Doctor by Tsaurah Litzky
Pagoda by Sommer Marsden
A Wider World by Donna George Storey
All's Fair by Tiffani Angus
Neighbourly Relations by Dorianne
Let Me In by The Empress
Lolita by Zahara Stardust
The Gourmet by Chaparrita
The Magicians by Valerie Alexander

I'd love this too; wouldn't you?

Working on pieces on my new tattoo, my trip to Portland, Maine, cupcake judging, panic attacks, another article for The Fix, erotica and much more. So keep up at Tumblr and @raquelita on Twitter if you want more frequent updates. Otherwise, as the tent at Occupy Maine says, I'm trying to make my life a Drama Free Zone, or at least, a bad drama free zone. See the rest of my Occupy Maine photos here and general Portland, Maine photos here. I'm going back in the spring and so glad I have part of Portland permanently on me.



And from Bard Coffee (I did not try their cider or coffee, but I did visit Coffee by Design):

Excited for How I Learned About The Rules of Attraction

I'm excited to attend this!

Knife play story "Beneath My Skin" by Shanna Germain rejected twice before landing in Women in Lust

I'm loving all the posts on the Women in Lust virtual book tour, and this one by author Shanna Germain really stands out. I know I'm rarely one to post about rejected stories, because I'd rather tell you about the ones that made it, the little story that could, the story that you can read, rather than one living only on my computer. So I think that's brave, and bold, and powerful. And, I hope, encouraging (have I mentioned that I very much need stories for my female submission anthology? Like, ASAP, and I truly need stories just like this: bold, powerful, take no prisoners, daring, creative, unlike anything else in my submissions inbox, which may or may not be helpful, but that's the thing - don't write it for me, write it for you, and make it an amazing, startlingly new and creative take on the topic, and it'll find a home). She writes:

Wouldn't you like to know my real kinks? My real interest in sex and writing?

This story actually answers that. All of my stories answer that, if you read them carefully. Don't look at the small truths. Not at the knife. Not at the kiss. Not at the way his hand moves across her skin.

Look at the emotional truths.

Here are some hints: No, it's not about knife-play. No, it's not about getting fucked while having a blade at my back. No, it's not about having an orgasm.

It's about opening ourselves to something greater than us. It's about pushing past our safe places and seeing what lies beyond. It's about taking the 'real' and turning it into something more, something that allows us to see the larger essence of our hearts and minds. It's about touch and connection and those rare, precious moments where life splits us open and lets us be free

You can read an excerpt of "Beneath My Skin" at Smutketeers and a further one at Shanna's blog. I'm proud of Women in Lust because for the book, I do think it's an edgy story that may be too much for some readers, but for some readers, I hope, it'll be perfect, and for others it may lead them to an understanding of sexuality and humanity that they didn't have before.



Order Women in Lust from:

Amazon

Kindle edition (ebook)

Barnes & Noble

Nook (ebook)

Powells

Books-a-Million

IndieBound (search for your local indie bookstore)

Cleis Press

Read this: The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler

Do yourself a favor and check out The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler. It's billed as YA but anyone who uses Facebook/social media will appreciate it, and, as I say below, especially if you remember a time before the internet was a part of our daily lives. If my review sounds vague, it's because I tried hard not to give anything major away. You should read it for yourself, it's that good.



My review:

I cannot say enough good things about this book, especially if you're around the age of the protagonists and if you remember AOL and dial up internet. You're likely to enjoy it if you're a teenager, too, but for those of us in that age group (I'm 36), the idea of what the internet has the power to do works its spell in this page-turner.

Emma and Josh are best friends; Josh used to have a crush on her, but they've (mostly) moved on. One day, Emma logs on to her new AOL account and discovers something called Facebook. She and Josh try to puzzle over what exactly Facebook is and why their future selves are writing pithy, strange comments for all the world to see. What gets strange very fast is that Emma discovers that she can actually directly change her future by very minute actions in her present, and she becomes obsessed with doing so. Without giving too much away, the idea that everything we do in the present has a long-term impact is fascinating and disturbing, and each has to explore what they'd want their future selves to know about them, and how far ahead they intend to map out their lives. Soon Emma especially winds up so fixated on the future she forgets about the present. The novel unfolds wonderfully, with alternating viewpoints, and I found myself wanting to reach in and say "No, don't do it!" multiple times. I especially liked that the authors didn't present one future self as necessarily more perfect than any other; in their world, each was as plausible as another, and Emma and Josh had to determine for themselves, often through trial and error, what kind of life they envisioned.

The idea of knowing exactly what we'll be doing any given amount of time from now is miraculous or terrifying, depending on who you are (I vacillate between the two), and The Future of Us plays up that tension to the max, while highlighting the secret online universe the two have discovered. This book speaks to adults just as much, if not more so, than teenagers, and its message about living in the present is inspiring, without ever being preachy. I found myself rooting for both Emma and Josh even when they clearly made missteps and hurt others (or themselves). Mackler and Asher did an amazing job and while the ending is perfectly summed up, I'd love to see a sequel because I didn't want to stop reading! You will likely wind up questioning some of your own Facebook and social media usage as you read, wondering what the purpose is, as the protagonists do.

Pre-tattoo listening: "Turning Tables" by Adele

Because I'm me, there will of course be a tattoo essay forthcoming. I've thought so much about this tattoo, why I need it, what I hope to do differently, and, well, Adele captures it so perfectly in "Turning Tables:"

Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet

My essay "Recovery Envy" up at The Fix

I wrote my first essay for The Fix, called "Recovery Envy," which may sound facetious in a soundbite but if you read the essay, I hope it's clear that I don't mean it facetiously at all. I have the utmost respect for those in recovery, and anyone striving to improve their lives, by whatever means. If you like it, I'd really, really appreciate it if you passed it on in some way. And if you've never been to The Fix, it's a website "about alcoholism, addiction, recovery and the drug war." Thank you.

The beginning:

I'm not an addict, and I'm not an alcoholic. But as offensive as this may sound, I sometimes I wish I were, if only so I could have a language and a community to help me deal with what often seem like out of control urges—a structure surrounding me to help me cope with, well, life. But there are no 12-step meetings for people who simply have trouble getting up every day, who feel hollow and weak and unworthy, but who don't gloss over those feelings with a single, predictable vice. Over the course of my life, I've certainly used alcohol, sex, shopping and food to help quell those feelings, and they've each worked, in limited doses, but eventually their effects wore off.

The thing is, though, my rock bottom moments don't revolve around alcohol, though I've consumed my share, or drugs (I've attempted to smoke pot twice, and basically failed each time); sometimes it's food, sometimes it's sex, sometimes it's shopping, but I fundamentally believe that the core part of me that hates myself in those moments when I'm eating an entire box of cereal, screwing someone I'm not that into, or buying a pair of shoes I don't need and can't afford, is the same impulse that drove, say, my father or grandfather to drink (both are recovering alcoholics).

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