JohnA Passaro's Blog, page 20
January 11, 2020
There Is No Guarantee Of Success
Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?
That is the only time a man can be brave.
George RR Martin
Game of Thrones
It takes time, experience, and pain to acquire knowledge.
Certain knowledge must be realized at the right time as if
it is revealed too soon it may not be able to be handled properly.
There is a point in a wrestler’s career when they will come
to a fork in the road.
The All-In fork.
They weigh the cost of going all in verse the reward of what
they want and determine if they are willing to pay the price.
They determine that they are willing.
So, they take the fork and go “All-In.”
They then go on to do everything right,
they become the best at what they do.
They hold up their end of the bargain.
But all the information wasn’t given to them at the time.
Key information was withheld.
The “All-In” fork contained a lie of omission.
The lie being that even if you do everything right,
Even if you are the best at what you do,
Even if you have done everything to get every advantage,
Even if you have won before,
There is no guarantee of success.
That is the reality.
And that changes things.
Not everyone who goes “All-In”
factors going
“All-In” and then not getting the
reward.
If they did, some would elect not to
proceed.
Thus, the reason for the lie of
omission from the
“All-In” fork.
Later, during their journey, after some
time and a series of setbacks, a wrestler will face a new fork in the road.
A more truthful fork.
A much scarier fork.
The “All-In-With-No-Guarantee-Of-Success” fork.
At that fork the wrestler will be
asked to recommit to the “All-In” fork with the additional information of that
even if you go “All-In” and hold up your end of the bargain, this may not work
out the way you have planned.
That is a scary thought.
It takes a brave person to proceed down
this new fork knowing the whole truth.
There is a possibility, heck, maybe even a probability, that you will give everything you have and not get the reward you sought after.
When one reaches this part of the fork’s
road, there is enlightenment.
When traveling down this new fork one is given the knowledge
and realization of the Universal Law of,
“The reward you seek may not be the reward you receive.”
And something great happens.
They trust in the Universe that the
outcome that they will receive will be the outcome their life needs.
Mahatma Gandhi said it best,
“It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s
important.
You have to do the right thing.
It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there’ll be any fruit.
But that doesn’t mean you stop doing the right thing.
You may never know what results come from your action.
But if you do nothing, there will be no result.”
There always is a reward for taking
the journey.
It just may not be the one you
sought.
It may just prove to be more powerful than you could ever wish for.
There Is No Guarantee Of Success
Is a chapter from
Which can be purchased at
January 10, 2020
Pain Endured Is Strength Stored
We acquire the strength we have overcome.
Emerson
What makes wrestlers different from many people is their understanding
of what
Mihaly Csikszentmuhalvi so profoundly wrote,
“Of all the virtues we can learn,
No trait is more useful,
More essential for survival,
And more likely to improve the quality of life
Then the ability to transform adversity into an enjoyable
challenge.”
Wrestlers understand that pain is a gateway to achievement.
Pain is a necessary evil which must be endured to receive
the reward one desires.
Pain is a separator of people during battle.
We have all heard the expression,
“No pain, no gain.”
It is a cliché because it’s true.
Nothing worth achieving comes easy.
Everything worth achieving will have trials and tribulations attached, dark moments of doubts that will push you to the edge of your beliefs where you must decide whether to endure or quit.
Every time you endure the doubt, you store some strength.
Every time you quit, you lose strength, and it then becomes
easier to quit the next time.
Have you ever noticed that a wrestler will always choose the
most painful option?
Why?
Are they just masochists that love pain?
No, quite the opposite.
Wrestlers crave the desired outcome more than they despise
pain, and they understand that the only way to get the desired outcome is to
embrace the pain.
Pain is a toll booth to success.
Pay the toll and store the strength.
Muhammad Ali said it best when he said,
“I hated every minute of training.
But I said to myself, don’t quit.
Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”
Pain endured is strength stored.
Pain Endured Is Strength Stored
Is a chapter from
Which can be purchased at
January 9, 2020
January 7, 2020
Pain Is You Greatest Teacher
[image error]
These pains that you feel are messengers,
Listen to them.
Rumi
“That’s going to hurt for a long time.”
“I don’t know if he’ll ever recover.”
One hears these words every year at the State wrestling tournament after a wrestler loses an important match.
Some wrestlers do recover from significant losses, and some do not.
The ones that do recover use their pain to motivate them to take action to address an area that needs fixing.
The ones that don’t recover are the ones who do not use their pain to motivate them but rather attempt to hide, diminish, or ignore it.
****
Famous American Actress, Cicely Tyson tells a story,
“I once ran across a young child who did not know who Dr. Martin Luther King was.
You know, when we were fighting for rights,
we did not want them to go through what we had to go through. We were trying to make it possible for them to use their energies and their talents to do other things to help humanity.
And because of that, we left them nothing to fight for; they didn’t understand what it meant.”
****
After my High School wrestling career was over, and I didn’t accomplish the goals I set out to, I vowed I would never let my sons wrestle.
I never wanted them to experience the pain that I experienced from this sport.
I was wrong in my protective thinking.
Pain is invaluable to experience.
Pain is painful.
It is also necessary.
Pain is a motivator for one to act.
Pain is the stimulus of change, improvement, and correction.
Pain is an indicator that something is not right.
Pain forces one to address a situation that needs changing and never repeating.
Listen to your pain,
Absorb it,
Let it soak in.
Then let it motivate you to take the corrective action to eliminate its presence.
________
Pain Is Your Greatest Teacher
Is a chapter from
Which can be purchased at
January 6, 2020
Peak in the Post-Season – 1:1 Mental Mind Training
I have been getting inquiries recently about working with individual wrestlers to help them achieve their post-season goals by helping them improve their mental approach to wrestling and to life.
I love doing this. It is my passion.
There is nothing that I enjoy doing more than to help young athletes improve their performance by improving their mindset.
I have been doing this on Long Island for the last few years with very rewarding results (For both the wrestler and for me, actually much more for me) and I have decided to open up this training to wrestlers nationwide.
I am making available a limited number of FREE 20 Minute Sessions to see if there is a connection.
My Mental Mindset Training is called “Peak In the Post-Season” and is a 1:1 personal training done via FaceTime.
If after the initial session you feel that I provided value and helped you get closer to your post-season goals and would like to continue the sessions there are 1 session,
2 sessions and monthly packages available.
Being that this training is very time intensive there is limited availability.
Here’s what you can expect during the mental training sessions:
During the Peak In the Post-Season session you will:
Increase your BELIEF, CONFIDENCE, and ENTHUSIASM for the sport.
Learn to DOMINATE on and off the mat.
ELIMINATE the subconscious FEAR OF LOSING.
MAXIMIZE your PERFORMANCE on the mat.
Learn to FEED your MIND, BODY, and SPIRIT each day.
The difference between having a goal and BEING on a MISSION.
Understand the self-improvement process of WINNING or LEARNING.
Put yourself in the best position to BEAT THE WRESTLER YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BEAT.
GROW as a WRESTLER and as a PERSON ON and OFF the MAT.
Sign up for your FREE 20 Minute Peak in the Post-Season session
January 5, 2020
Impose Your Will
If you haven’t the strength
To impose your own terms upon life,
Then you must accept the terms it offers you.
T.S. Eliot
Good things do not
just happen in life.
You need to make
them happen.
Taking massive,
immediate action, makes good things happen.
Even after taking massive,
immediate action, your efforts will run into resistance.
To overcome
resistance requires grit.
To do what you set
out to do will require more attempts than you had planned.
During these
multiple attempts, doubt will start to creep in.
Purpose will allow you to persevere through doubt.
As purpose trumps doubt.
To persevere with purpose
requires will.
Will is the process of converting what you want into reality for your unique reasons.
That is where
mental toughness comes in.
Iowa University
head wrestling coach, Tom Brands once said,
“Finding solutions to difficult situations,
solutions to places where you are not comfortable going; That
all comes down to work ethic, mental toughness, and attitude.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
eloquently said,
“What lies behind
us, and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared
to what lies within us.”
Your will is what
lies within you.
It is your why.
Use your why to impose your will.
Impose Your Will
Is a chapter from
Which can be purchased at
January 4, 2020
From the Top Row @ CSH vs. Hauppauge
[image error]
[image error]
Success Breeds Interest – CSH, the returning D2 Nassau County Tournament Champions, and 9th overall in last year’s D2 State Team Tournament, have 3 returning state place-winners – Junior, Gaven Bell (4th), Sophomore Jackson Polo (5th) and Senior Kolten Gagnon (5th). I counted over 40 wrestlers on the CSH bench. CSH has an enrollment of approximately 330 males from 9-12th grade. It looks like 40+ out of 330 males wrestle at CSH. That is a great ratio. To put it in comparison it is like Brentwood, who has outstanding numbers, having 287 wrestlers on their team. There is nothing that increases numbers to a program than the success of the program. In wrestling, the initial success of the individual creates the numbers to build a team.
[image error]
[image error]
[image error]
There is nothing like a gymnasium that has detailed athletic banners hanging in their gym. High achievement should be honored. Hauppauge, Center Moriches and William Floyd are some of my favorite gyms for this reason
Mind Games? – When I coached baseball the East Cobb Astros (Ga.) had one of the most intimidating infield pregame warm-ups I have ever seen. Every team watched them warm-up before the game and were beat before the game even started. Hauppauge warmed up to an empty CSH bench. CSH casually walked back into the gym when Hauppauge was done warming up.
[image error]
Preparation. Just as the captains were called to the center of the circle, coach Chris Messina asks his wrestlers, “Anyone need tape?” then reaffirms, “Everyone’s shoes are taped?” not so much asking a question but giving a command in a different way. A few things here. One, if he is that prepared to ask every wrestler if their shoes are taped right before the match, imagine how well he has prepared his wrestlers for battle, and two, Hauppauge is going to fight for every point. And they sure as heck are not going to just give one away. Hauppauge won the Section XI Team Tournament by 1/2 of a point last year.
One Voice – Hauppauge’s coaching staff is one of the most harmonious coaching staffs I’ve ever witnessed. Coach Chris Messina, Mike Messina, Nick Mauriello, and Dave Smith never once talked over one another, there was always one voice.
If You Want To Be Heard Speak Less – I have never seen a team immediately listen and act on their coach’s direction like Hauppauge. “Get out of bounds,” “Start over,” “Cut him,” “Get a dump,” “Don’t waste time,” “Stay in the Middle.” Every instruction carried out to precision. Coach Messina and the Hauppauge coaching staff do not incessantly call out one command after another, they use silence to allow their wrestler to wrestle instinctively and then at the right moment one coach gives clear and concise instruction. “Left hand across, keep the wrist.” “Walk the leg toward the head.”
Wrestling is a Family Affair – There is nothing more pleasurable than to experience the ride in your child’s corner. Look at that photo above. Coach Messina coached his son Mike to two State Championships, Nick coached his sons Nick, Chris and now Danny and has a few State Championships in his family and Dave gets to be there for Luke’s journey to a State Championship. The best part about this is Coach Messina’s willingness to allow each father to be the one voice from the corner when their son is wrestling. Priceless.
I Love This – If you notice, in certain situations, when a Hauppauge wrestler has earned the right they indicate to the coaching staff what they would like to choose when they have choice, the coach takes the wrestler’s input into consideration and makes the final decision. It didn’t happen often and it was certainly not overused but when the wrestler felt something they were able to communicate their intuition to their coach. No one has more of a feel for the match then the wrestler, I love when his input is taken into consideration when choice is being made.
For the Love of Coaching – Coach Messina, even after all these years still gets excited during every match, at times jumping out of his seat to the edge of the mat adding additional powers for his wrestler through body language in key situations.
Execution – Every opportunity Hauppauge had to get an extra team point, they did. They fought for every point in every situation. There is no wonder why they won the Section XI Tournament Title last year by 1/2 of a point. They fought for every point in every situation. At 106, Luke Clacket up 7-0 hears, “We need a takedown.” Final score 9-0. At 182 Michael Tyrell, up 7-0 with ten seconds left in the match pushes the pace to get a stall call for 1 to get the major. In football, 3rd down conversions win football games. In wrestling being on the cusp of bonus points and getting them, win team titles.
Focus – Andrew Maiorini has had a nice high school career at Hauppauge. He has placed 4th in the Section XI Tournament two years in a row. He has done this virtually as the 2nd man in the weight from Hauppauge both years. This is a very difficult thing to do, to keep your focus, your confidence, your drive until the post-season. I give him a lot of credit. Most people couldn’t deal with the intangibles of being the 2nd man at the weight and then placing in the post-season. It is very difficult, he has done it with grace. This year he is not the 2nd man at the weight, but he finds himself in a situation of 3 wrestlers for 2 weights (Luke Smith and Anthony DiBartolo @ 126 and he at 132) so during duals, the dynamic still exists for him and Hauppauge. I give Hauppauge a lot of credit, it is not easy to handle situations like this and still get peak performance out of all the wrestlers involved, yet Hauppauge does a great job at doing so. Today, Luke Smith wrestled 138.
With the score 38-4 in Hauppauge’s favor heading into the 152 Lb match Coach Messina gets up and starts to rally his bench, “C’mon guys get into this match.” He knew precisely where the pinnacle of the team score and lead would be for his team. The final team score was 48-34. Every coach runs the match in their head. I have a feeling Coach Messina does it a little more than most.
CSH, who took 9th last year in NYSPHSAA D2 tournament will be a top 4 team in the state this year, with Jackson Polo, Christian Hansen, Gaven Bell, and Kolton Gagnon leading the way. Jackson Polo, with his lefty swing single and chain wrestling style, looked good on his feet and seemed like a relentless point scorer through two periods but his 3rd period wasn’t of the same pace – scored 6 in the first, 5 in the 2nd and only 2 in the 3rd, That may seem trivial to point that out but relentless point scorers score more in the 3rd period than any other periods. I have no doubt one day he will score more in the 3rd period than in the first two periods combined, as a Sophomore, he is well on his way to becoming a dominant wrestler and I believe he will significantly better his 5th place finish from last years D2 States. Christian Hansen has a nice dump and is also a quality wrestler.
At 195, Zafir Benjamin (Haup) and Reed Cooper were locked in the upright double underhook position for a few seconds, Zafir Benjamins throw for a fall from that position proved very valuable.
Hauppauge (Haup) 48, Cold Spring Harbor (CSH) 34
January 3, 2020
99 – Mikey Manta (Haup) pinned Raymond McNulty (CSH) 0:34
106 – Luke Clackett (Haup) md. Greyson Meak (CSH) 9-0
113 – Jackson Polo (CSH) md. Frankie Volpe (Haup) 16-5
120 – Thomas Volpe (Haup) pinned Michael Centrella (CSH) 0:26
126 – Anthony Dibartolo (Haup) pinned Beau Hodgson (CSH) 1:32
132 – Andrew Maiorini (Haup) md. Sean Mcauley (CSH) 10-0
138 – Luke Smith (Haup) pinned Ben Bruno (CSH) 5:22
145 – Chris Boudreau (Haup) pinned Matthew Mannino (CSH) 1:36
152 – Christian Hansen (CSH) pinned Anthony Lonigro (Haup) 2:40
160 – Gaven Bell (CSH) pinned Nico Gatien (Haup) 2:27
170 – Jacob Bruno (CSH) pinned Phoenix Walker (Haup) 2:58
182 – Michael Tyrrell (Haup) md. Rj Schupler (CSH) 8-0
195 – Zafir Benjamin (Haup) pinned Reed Cooper (CSH) 0:56
220 – Kolton Gagnon (CSH) pinned Brandon Ress (Haup) 1:16
285 – Ethan Burdo (CSH) by FFT
January 3, 2020
I Get To…
When you change the words from “I have to” to “I get to.”
Your life changes.
“I have to go to work” becomes “I get to go to work.”
“I have to exercise” becomes
“I get to exercise.”
“I have to go to practice” becomes “I get to go to practice.”
Take nothing for granted.
What a privilege it is to “get to” to be able to do all the things you “have to” do today.
December 29, 2019
You’ve Got to Love the Taste of Blood
Everyone has a plan
Until they get punched in the mouth.
Mike Tyson
Wrestling is hard.
It’s one on one verse a highly trained, highly skilled, highly motivated opponent.
Sometimes that opponent is going to get the best of you.
When that occurs, the best of you needs to come out.
They say a wrestling match doesn’t start until you’re tired.
I say the fight doesn’t start until you get punched in the mouth.
The best wrestlers love to fight.
It is at that time their true competitor comes out.
Life is hard.
It is a battle, a fight.
Sometimes it will get the best of you.
When it does, the best of you must come out.
When life punches you in the mouth, wipe your lip and let that punch bring out the best of you.
Let it ignite the fight in you.
Imagine you were just thrown out of bounds by your rival and the whole crowd just gasped in awe.
Now come back and give life that beating, just like you would do if you got thrown out of bounds during a competitive wrestling match by a rival.
————
Wrestling Rules for Life
Get a copy today.
December 28, 2019
Thoughts From the Top Row @ The Joey Davidson Tournament
[image error]
Thoughts From the top row at The Joey Davidson Tournament.
Quality finals with 5 NYS Placewinners – Killian Foy, Max Gallagher, Jared Weinhaus, Joey Sparacio and Zach Redding spread throughout the weights.
John Tietjen from Sachem East is very good, great approach.
Max Gallagher is one of my favorite wrestlers to watch wrestle. I’d travel many miles to watch him wrestle. Just a flat out point scorer. Freshman. Wow.
Jared Weinhaus is so solid. Jumped from 99 to 120 and looks big for the weight. Best thing to ever happen to the longevity of his career. Wrestling is fun when you win, train and eat.
There is a state championship looming in Stephan Lucas’s career.
Great to see Nick Garone being Nick Garone in the corner at this tournament.
Norris Robinson’s physique looks great and he is much more than a cradler, he has become a wrestler.
Islip is solid all around.
Sayville is a young, athletic, talented team, they can improve and leap forward quickly with experience and mat time.
MacArthur is a team as tough as their Coach Steven Schneider.
As a fan, just a great finals.
