JohnA Passaro's Blog, page 18
January 29, 2020
Be Unbreakable
He who has a why to live for
Can bear almost any how.
Fredrich Nietzsche
What makes one wrestler fight and another wrestler give up?
Is it talent?
It is not talent; it is something much more reliable than talent.
Is it training?
It is not training; it is something much more valuable than training.
Is it experience?
It is not experience; it is something much more invisible than experience.
It is will.
And it can’t be taught, only discovered.
When one is willing to fight, fear is destroyed.
As fear is afraid of fight.
****
Wrestling is life.
There are times in life where circumstances will be presented to you, and you will have a decision to make.
Will you break and predetermine that you are unable to win, and become resigned not to try?
Or will you be unbreakable and unwilling to quit?
Which wrestler do you want to be?
Do you want to be the wrestler who still had try left in his tank but quit?
Or the overmatched wrestler who used up all his try, and didn’t?
I was once told that the type of wrestler I was would be the kind of man I will be.
There was never a truer statement ever spoken to me in my life.
There is nothing more valuable to a wrestler than the realization that he is unbreakable.
There is nothing more valuable to a human in times of adversity than the realization that he is unbreakable.
That no matter the circumstances, he will survive.
How?
I don’t know.
Just have the mindset,
“I’ve handled everything up until this point,
and I will handle everything that comes my way in the future.”
This realization allows one to not waste any time on worry, which provides no solutions, but instead to have peace of mind and live by intuition.
Be unbreakable.
It will all work out in the end.
If it hasn’t yet worked out,
It is not the end.
January 28, 2020
The Gravity of Life
If only it were possible for us to see
Farther than our knowledge reaches,
And even a little past
Then the far reaches of our foresight,
Perhaps we would endure our sorrows
With greater trust than our joys.
Rainer Marie Rilke
Letters To A Young Poet
Life can be so cruel.
We watched the rocket go up.
Then we watched it blow up.
Live on national TV.
Onboard were 6 astronauts and a schoolteacher named Christie McAuliffe.
You work all of your life trying to acquire something and it turns out that this something is the one thing that winds up killing you.
I remember my boss Bill asking, “I wonder what’s going through the minds of the people who weren’t chosen for the mission?”
We all felt very bad for a long while.
Our lives even stood still – momentarily.
And then – life went on.
We weren’t bad people.
That’s just how life is.
A person who has just experienced a horrible event in their lives initially feels the world should stop spinning for them.
Rightfully so.
They feel people should call and visit more often.
People probably should.
But the world doesn’t stop spinning, and people’s own lives need their attention.
So life goes on.
I only wished there was a way people who have had a tragic thing happen to them could tell that other people were thinking of them.
Because they are.
All the time.
It is just not communicated.
That is the real shame.
Life is beyond comprehension.
Sometimes when we feel we are catching our biggest break, it may actually be a path to our demise.
Other times when we feel we are on our way to our demise, we catch our biggest break.
Life ebbs as we flow, and flows as we ebb.
One can never quite figure out why something happens.
One just has to trust that they are exactly where they are supposed to be at this exact moment in time.
To realize as long as you have a heart, you have a chance.
I don’t mean a heart that is physically working, I mean one that is emotionally working.
A heart that is filled with love, desire, and belief.
That heart.
Life, no matter how unexpected it may have turned out, no matter where you may be, no matter how much work is ahead to get to where you want to go, exists in your heart.
Don’t just exist, live.
Today.
Be present today.
Right here.
And you will get there.
There.
Sometimes you get “there” by your own vision, but this is rare.
Often you get “there” by correcting a series of mistakes, each of which, if taken by themselves, would have taken you further off course. But somehow taken in their entirety directed you toward your intended destination.
Getting “there” this way is common, but not easy.
Sometimes you get “there” by the relentless pursuit of a loved one.
This is special.
However, you get “there” is not the question.
Just get “there”.
“There” – is exactly where you are meant to be.
On the way to “there” – is who you will become.
Why you are.
At every moment in your life, you are exactly where you are meant to be so you can become the person who you were meant to be.
So there – is here.
Right here, right now, is there.
By being present for all of the “here’s” will surely get you “there”.
The journey to get “there” is to be here.
No matter where “here” is.
The Gravity of Life
Is an excerpt from
A Good Man
Which can be purchased
Here
It is Simple, But Not Easy
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What I believe is not believed by everyone,
And is not practiced by everyone who believes it.
Pat Schneider
Never confuse simple and easy.
Simple is easy to understand but hard to execute.
Figuring out the path to success is simple.
Walking the path is hard.
The execution is always the hard part.
The execution requires sacrifice and discipline.
The execution requires precision planning and prioritizing.
The execution requires massive work, insane boredom, and extreme loneliness.
The execution requires you to feel the acute pain of failure and requires you to grapple a few rounds with self-doubt and discouragement.
Everyone wants to be a champion.
What they don’t want is to live the lifestyle and endure the pain that is necessary to become one.
Have you ever witnessed a wrestler come up with an off-season plan?
Most execute the plan while their mood is still right, but once the mystique of having a big goal has worn off and the actual grueling work is required, they fall to the wayside.
Others, the champions, continue to execute their plan well past the point of being in vogue to do so.
They do things others are not willing to do.
That is why they get what others are not able to get.
Never confuse simple and easy.
The difference between simple and easy is the work.
And work is hard.
It Is Simple But Not Easy
Is a chapter from
Which can be purchased at
January 27, 2020
Aspirations of One Day…
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Some pictures need no captioning.
Those are the pictures I love to write about.
The age-old question on Long Island has always been,
“How do we retain our homegrown high school wrestling talent to stay and wrestle for a college program on Long Island?”
This picture is how.
To have the Long Island youth to aspire to one day wear the singlet of a Long Island wrestling program.
This picture of wrestlers from the Sayville WC watching the LIU vs Hofstra wrestling match from the floor is so telling.
The high-quality Kings of the East youth tournament before the college match between the two Division I wrestling programs on Long Island was orchestrated genius.
The definition of an orchestra is to arrange or direct the elements of a situation to produce a desired effect, especially surreptitiously.
When one hears an orchestra perform, one notices many different sounds all blending together that produce a harmonic noise that resonates with the listener.
That is exactly what transpired at Hofstra University on Saturday.
This event did what it was designed to do on so many levels.
To see a section of Hofstra University nearly filled with fans, people standing in the rafters and kids watching from the floor must be a rewarding feeling for both programs.
The King of the East Youth Championship, not only attracted the best youth talent from the tri-state area, put fannies in the seats for the LIU vs Hofstra match but more importantly, it exposed high-quality Long Island youth wrestlers with a look at the next level.
It gave them a vision –
To one day aspire to…
Wear the singlet.
Maybe, I am a little bit biased and sentimental to conclude this event was a successful event without even being in attendance, (I was not able to attend this event, as I was at a conflicting sporting event for my daughter) as I owe a debt of gratitude to the coaches of these two programs for everything they have done for me and my family on and off the mats,
Maybe not.
But I can’t help to I feel that I missed out on experiencing something awesome.
I guess that is what orchestrated genius is designed to do.
________
Support Wrestling with Life – The Awakenings Project
January 24, 2020
Wrestling with Life – The Awakenings Project
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Over the last few years, my world has changed, and I owe the sport of wrestling deep gratitude for keeping my world together when it was being torn up and blown apart.
I have personally seen the positive impact this sport can have on a person and their life.
And by extension – their family’s lives.
This sport has taught me how to believe in myself, how to work hard, how to endure pain, how to give all of myself to a cause.
Most importantly, it has taught me –
How to find my spirit and fight.
When you are a member of the “Life-Changing Events Club” you develop a better perception of life and what matters.
It’s your reward for the injustice you have endured.
My reward has introduced me to many great people I would never have otherwise met.
I have learned about so many people’s lives.
And their circumstances.
There are so many young athletes whose stories would break your heart.
I don’t want my heart to break, I want to help mend theirs.
In this sport, we all may be competitors, but we are also a close-knit family.
A few years ago, I met a young man by what I believe was destiny.
I believe the Universe collided our lives at the exact time we both needed each other.
This young man indicated to me that he would like to
‘just win one match in his high school wrestling career.”
To you and I, that statement might sound like it came from an underachiever – but if you knew his circumstances you would understand how insurmountable “just one win” seemed to him at the time.
Through the sport of wrestling, this young man developed as a human being and as an athlete. In one year he transformed his body and demolished his goal of getting one win. He actually went to have a successful wrestling career with numerous key wins for himself and for his teammates. But most importantly, I saw first hand how the sport of wrestling gave him confidence and a purpose.
I am looking to start a program called “Wrestling with Life – The Awakenings Project”, where I and anyone who would like to help, commit to improving the quality of young athlete’s lives.
Young athletes who are facing a much bigger opponent – life.
I want to teach them to believe in themselves, to work hard, to endure pain.
To fight.
The best way that I know how.
Through wrestling.
They say the way you make the world a better place is that you make an impact on one life at a time.
That is what I would like to do.
I want to raise enough money to help one young athlete in need at a time.
One young athlete who has gone through something in their life that just feels overwhelming and introduce or instill wrestling into their lives to teach them how to fight – life.
I would like to engrain wrestling so deep in their being that they eventually win their fight with life.
I am calling this “Wrestling with Life – The Awakenings Project”.
If you would like to join me, I am currently looking to money, where every dollar raised will be invested in “Awakening the spirit” of this young athlete to reach their true human and athletic potential.
Through wrestling.
I thank you in advance for your support.
4 Ways That You Can Help Support
Wrestling with Life – The Awakenings Project
1. Donate Here – You decide the amount. If we each can do a little, it will mean a lot.
2. Share on Social Media – Below are links to all social media platforms, or use the shortlink bit.ly/Support_Wrestling_With_Life_The_Awakenings_Project
3. Tag your friends in the share who you feel would like to help or get involved.
4. Flame the human spirit in your own life, whenever you can.
The name of the project – Wrestling with Life – The Awakenings Project came from my first meeting the young men that I referenced above. He was a 16-year-old kid, a movie aficionado, who let me know his favorite movie was “Awakenings” at the exact time I was attempting to “Awake” my daughter. It dawned on me that by fanning the human spirit in others, when it may be at its lowest point, was a cause worth pursuing. And I have tried to do so every day since.
My goal is to raise enough money to help “Just 1 young athlete.”
100% of the proceeds raised will go to fanning the human spirit of a young athlete in need.
I will post reports as the project progresses.
Thank you, in advance, for your support.
Donate Here
January 23, 2020
From the Top Row @ The Suffolk County Duals Sayville vs. Hauppauge
Round 16 – Sayville vs Hauppauge
Sayville wins the battles.
Hauppauge wins the war.
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There is a time when a young team is in the process of developing when they learn a little about themselves that they may not have known prior to a competition.
These occasions usually occur in overmatched, fight or flight situations.
15th seed Sayville learned a little about themselves this evening vs. #2 seeded Hauppauge.
When faced with the choice of fight or flight, Sayville chose to fight, and that’s all a coach can ask from his team.
Yes, they were overmatched, but they probably knew that coming into the match.
What they didn’t know is how they would respond to a challenge.
Now they do know.
They passed the test.
Hauppauge was clearly the better team, heck, everyone in the state knows they are going to compete not only for a team tournament title but also for a dual meet championship in NYS.
Not many teams can do that.
Most great teams either have a great tournament team, or dual meet team.
Rarely, if ever, does a team have the opportunity to win both titles.
Hauppauge can.
Driving to the match today, I highlighted to myself three matches where Sayville would learn a little about themselves.
113 – Murtha (Say) vs Volpe (Hauppauge)
120 – Yirdaw (Say) vs Volpe (Hauppauge) and
182 – LoPresti (Say) vs Tyrell (Hauppauge)
In two of those matchups, 113 and 182, the Hauppauge wrestler was ranked #1 coming into the match.
Sayville won all three matches,
which is impressive and may be an early sign of how good Sayville could eventually be with off-season work and wrestling maturity.
Here’s how the match transpired.
106 – Luke Clackett starts Hauppauge off with a fall, 6-0 Hauppauge.
113 – Volpe (Hauppauge) almost goes up 2-0 early with an ankle pick on the line. He gets a takedown with 33 left in first. Murtha gets 1 with 15 left in the first. 2-1 Volpe after the first period. Volpe gets an escape 13 seconds into the 2nd period to go up 3-1. After a minute of ear to ear Murtha hits a dump for 5 to go up 6-3 with 30 left in the 2nd. Murtha chooses down and here is where I believe the match changed. Down 6-3 Volpe cuts Murtha to start the 3rd period. To make it 7-3. This virtually takes Murtha out of his worst position, bottom, and puts him in his best position, neutral. I’d rather see Volpe get a stall on top to make it 6-4 and work for a turn to tie or win it. It winds up no points are scored in the 3rd but Volpe does almost lock up a cradle but Murtha breaks it without giving up any points. 7-3 final. (6-3 Hauppauge)
120 – Yirdaw gets the pin. Sayville up 9-6. Not an ounce of panic on Hauppauge bench.
126 – Luke Smith gets the fall (12-9 Hauppauge)
132 – Dibartolo gets the tech in 3rd – continues to look strong. (17-9 Hauppauge)
138 – Maiorini wins 9-1. (21-9 Hauppauge)
145 – swing match could have went either way. Hauppauge gets the pin, possible 12 point swing. (27-9 Hauppauge)
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152 – Sayville I like the way Harry Wessels has competed his last few matches. I always said, give me a kid who loves to compete and the rest is easy. Wessels gets the Fall (27-15 Hauppauge)
160 – LoPresti (Say) pushes the pace in the first, 0-0. He adds an escape in the 2nd, 1-0. LoPresti gets a takedown with 1 min left in the 2nd, 3-0. LoPresti finishes the 2nd with a hard, hips to the mat ride. After the hard 1 minute ride in 2nd, Hauppauge has choice and takes down. LoPresti has another hard, hips to the mat ride for 1:15 before getting stall warning. Hauppauge gets an escape on the restart, 3-1. With 30 left, LoPresti starts to retreat. 3-1 final. 27-18 (Hauppauge)
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170 – Danny Mauriello gets the fall as brother Chris looks on from a neutral position from behind the scorers table. Danny looks good, fresh, dominant. The fall gives Hauppauge the 33–18 lead.
182 – LoPresti (Say) vs Tyrell (Hauppauge) – Both wrestlers spend 5 1/2 of the 6 minutes ear to ear. 0-0 after the 1st. LoPresti Grandbys for an escape in the second to go up 1-0. 1:40 into the 2nd, as both wrestlers were ear to ear, Tyrell trips and LoPresti takes advantage of the mishap for 2. (3-0). Tyrell quickly escapes 3-1. LoPresti adds a takedown to go up 5-1. Tyrell escapes. 5-2. LoPresti adds a takedown at the buzzer to win 7-2. (33-21 Hauppauge)
195 FFT? 39-21 Hauppauge
220 – Hauppauge pin. 45-21
285 – Hauppauge pin 51-21
99- Manta pin, 57-21 Hauppauge
Hauppauge won dominantly with a 57-21 final decision but
Sayville won all three key matches, which is impressive and may be an early sign of how good Sayville could eventually be.
Today, Hauppauge was clearly the better team.
But that was clear before the match. What became clearer after the match was how good Sayville, with a ton of off-season work, can be.
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Become the Best Version of Yourself
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It is not our abilities
That show who we truly are,
It is our choices.
Dumbledore
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
No job interviewer ever asked a potential hire,
“How is your single leg?” in a job interview.
Even though many employers seek to hire former wrestlers.
That is because the qualities the sport of wrestling teaches, hard work, commitment, dedication, perseverance, overcoming adversity, are much more important than the actual techniques one acquires from the sport.
The application off the mat is much more valuable than the one on the mat.
Use the sport of wrestling to acquire the qualities needed to improve the quality of life of those around you, including your own.
Allow the sport, through its peaks and valleys, trials and tribulations, through its disappointment and its glory, chisel you into the best version of yourself on the mat.
Then choose to apply the qualities you learned while seeking greatness on the mat to your life off the mat.
That is the true purpose of this sport.
That is what this great sport is all about.
To acquire a lifestyle that will transform you into the best version of yourself in life.
Become the Best Version of Yourself
Is a chapter from
Which can be purchased at
January 22, 2020
Be More Proud Than Disappointed
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We should not judge people
By their peak of excellence;
But by the distance, they have traveled
From the point where they started.
Henry Ward Beecher
Many times in my life as a parent of an athlete,
I’ve had to catch myself, to put things into a proper perspective.
To keep the big picture in focus.
To not get caught up in the quest for short term success and to keep the end goal in mind.
It is so easy to be disappointed, to get down, to compare all the sacrifices that were made to get to the point of victory and then to lose the victory when so close.
Luckily, due to previous adversity in my life, I can immediately change perspective. And I when I do I realize all the tremendous hard work, effort and commitment it took just to be in the position to succeed and the person my son is becoming in the process. It is then that I become more proud of my son than disappointed in his lost opportunity.
And when I do, everything changes.
I see life through a new lens.
A lens of gratitude and pride.
The world looks magnificent through the lens of gratitude and pride.
And the relationship with my son blossoms.
It wasn’t until after my both my sons became
New York State champions did I realize what I thought was my end goal for them, to win the state championship, wasn’t my real end goal.
My real end goal was for my sons, while in pursuit of wrestling excellence, to acquire the attributes and characteristics necessary to prepare them to live a loving and productive life as a kind and caring human being.
Be More Proud Than Disappointed
Is a chapter from
Which can be purchased at
Family, Tradition, Hard Work, Success, Legacy
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Pre-Match Thoughts Sayville @Hauppauge
The Mauriello family has been involved in numerous memorable events on the mats representing Section XI wrestling over the years.
Nick’s County Championship in 2012 after coming back from a life-threatening MRSA illness.
Chris’s 2014 New York State Championship and
Danny’s memorable 2019 run, including 5 OT wins en-route to his NYS Championship. For the longest time, I always said to Nick, “At least you have another 4 years with Danny left,” I can’t believe how fast they went.
But today I believe they will be involved in a match that has never been done before and may never be done again. Today Nick Mauriello Sr will be coaching Hauppauge as his son Chris will be coaching in the corner for Sayville, as Danny wrestles in the match.
I don’t know of too many fathers vs. son coaching experiences in Section XI, The Patrovich’s, with Joe Sr coaching against Joe Jr, Mike or Ryan come to mind, but I can’t recall any father vs son while son/brother is wrestling in the match situations, I could be wrong, as I have been before.
The Mauriello family has represented Section XI and the sport of wrestling like gold. It has been a pleasure to have observed them over the years, at times from up close other times from afar. But whether I observed from up close or from afar, they always exude class. They are what is so great about this sport. Family, Tradition, Hard Work, Success, Legacy.
Never Quit – Never, Means Not Ever
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Never give in.
Never give in.
Never, never, never, never.
In nothing great or small,
Large or petty,
Never give in,
Except to convictions of honor and good sense.
Never yield to force.
Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might
Of the enemy.
Winston Churchill
Not Ever.
Inside the word NOT is the acronym OT, which stands for overtime.
Take out the OT and combine the N with Ever,
and it creates the word Never.
Never quit.
Especially in overtime.
It takes a rare person to give everything, to only be told it wasn’t enough and then have to reach down to find some more.
Logically, if this happens repeatedly, there must be an end to the well.
Energy is finite, right?
It may well be, but one’s will isn’t.
One’s will is infinite.
Energy is replenished when one’s will is tapped into.
****
The five most damaging words to accomplishment are,
“It’s not worth it anymore.”
Those five words have destroyed more dreams than failure.
They have stifled accomplishment, sabotaged more dreams, and produced more retirements for athletes than any others.
Those five words are dream killers, retirement makers, and success cappers.
“It’s not worth it anymore,”
“The price is too high,”
“I don’t want to pay the price.”
That’s what those five words confess to your soul.
Remember, the price will always be higher than we thought it would be.
It is always higher than it should be.
It is always higher than we had planned.
When you pay the price you felt should be enough and then realize it will not be enough, you have two choices.
Either, walk away and have all that you paid out go unfulfilled, or reach down and pay more, maybe even a lot more.
Quality things cost more.
Never give in.
Not Ever.
Never.
If it was worth it for you to begin, it is certainly most worth it for you to finish.
Never Quit – Never, Means Not Ever
Is a chapter from
Which can be purchased at
