JohnA Passaro's Blog, page 19
January 21, 2020
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January 19, 2020
From the Top Row @ This Past Weekends Events
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Miller Place vs Sayville
Always a pleasure watching, coaching or participating in a match that Sean Brocking referees. To see how he interacted/reacted to/ de-escalated comments coming from the crowd (Mostly from parents who admittedly knew what they were saying was being one-sided, was watching a maestro at work. There are fewer and fewer old-time refs nowadays. If you are lucky enough to get one reffing your match, be grateful. They make the event that much more pleasurable. I would watch any match that Sean or Chad are working.
The coaching staff at Miller Place has done a fantastic job. They are a very solid team, no ultra-standout wrestlers, but are very competitive at every weight, with no holes and can and will compete with anyone in Section XI.
In time, freshman 160 lb, Cody LoPresti from Sayville will surprise people, including himself. He doesn’t yet know how good he is or how great he can become. With productive off-seasons, he will and so will everyone else. There is something about the way he wrestles that has championships written all over it.
William Floyd Kujan Tournament
The coaching staff at Bellport has done an outstanding job turning Bellport into a legitimate top Section XI TEAM. I say TEAM because they practice what they preach. They do the hard things that create greatness in individuals while building a team environment. They are unwilling to accept mediocrity or excuses. Creating a culture of excellence means making the right decision in a difficult circumstance. I have great admiration when values and character are prioritized especially at a great loss. I believe great coaching is the greatest asset in a young athlete’s life. The wrestlers at Bellport are blessed to have the coaches that they have.
106 Final – Gentzel was down 4-0 and gets a turn with two seconds left in the match to get the win over Skala (WHB) 5-4.
113 Final – Luke Citarelli (WHB) gets a takedown at the buzzer to get the win over Troy Gentzel 6-4. Here it is
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126 – Jordan Titus wins by fall over Jason Montagna (WHB) – I have thought long and hard about how to talk about this match. It is so intriguing. I have this theory that I’ve had for a long time that has been formed out of experience and has been proven to me time and time again as a phenomenon that is real and must be taken seriously. I believe that there is a natural mental letdown after big tournaments like the Eastern States. I’ve seen it happen invisibly in plain sight for years. It just so happens that the Kujan Tournament is usually the weekend after the Eastern States. In my experience, with my own kids, there is always a trap or a slight mental aberration lurking at the Kujan tournament. I have had the experience of one of my sons winning the Eastern States and then coming back the following weekend to take 4th at the Kujan tournament?!? There is something to be said about how hard it is to get up for every match for the entire season against every opponent. Jordan Titus is coming off of wins at the Ironman and at the Eastern States. We all know how unbelievably impressive those accolades are and what type of mental toughness a wrestler must have to accomplish such. With that said, Jordan Titus found himself down 4-0 as Jason Montagna got 2 and 2 within the first 10 seconds of the start of the 126 Lb. Kujan final. Impressively, Titus came back to go up 5-4 by the end of the first period and to win by fall in the 2nd. His stepover and intense glare at the end of the match didn’t go unnoticed.
Here are my takeaways
1. Good for Jason Montagna for wrestling without hesitation and capitalizing on an opportunity when it presented itself. That is the only way you beat elite wrestlers.
2. This just goes to illuminate how hard and impressive it is to have multiple seasons and a career as an elite wrestler. To be mentally on for every second against every opponent is extremely difficult. Much more difficult than any of us can imagine. At any second, and when you least expect it there is always someone looking to take you out.
3. That 2 and 2 may have been the best thing to happen to Jordan. It is always better to have something that makes you make an adjustment in December and January rather than for it to rear its ugly head in February.
4. I thought long and hard about writing about the first 10 seconds of this match because I believe at some point in an elite wrestler’s career he is expected to win. Always. He is unfairly expected to never be taken down, to never lose a scramble and to never be thrown to his back. I wrote about it because I don’t want Jordan to buy into those unrealistic expectations. I wrote about this because I believe Titus’s ability to quickly fight off his back and wrestle with the poise in which he did should be complimented. Some wrestlers might have heard the ooows and aaahs of the crowd instead of their own inner belief in themselves at that moment. Jordan didn’t, he heard his belief. He wrestled through it. And he continued to wrestle with composure for the rest of the entire match. I wrote about this because Jordan has entered the phase of his career where it is more of a story if he doesn’t win than if he does, and that is a very difficult environment to be in. Only a few wrestlers have the mental toughness to endure in that environment. I believe Jordan is one. I wrote about this to bring to light the difficulty to be 100% mentally prepared for the whole season. Season after season after season after season. All wrestlers that are should be complimented. I wrote about this because it happened. And that is okay. Jordan is better for it happening. “Nobody died,” as my coach used to say, “just continue to wrestle. You’re okay.”
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138 Finals – Cosmo Stoia (WF) 3-0 over Dakota Asuncion (HHHW) – 0-0 after the 1st, Cosmo gets an escape with :45 left in the 2nd to go up 1-0 and adds a turn in the 3rd to make it 3-0.
145 Finals – Andrew Dailey (SME) 9-6 over Danny Hromada (CM) – Dailey goes up 6-0 but Hromada battles back to make it 6-6. Daily wins 9-6.
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152 Finals – Hunter Hughes (NEW) 9-0 over Beadle (BPT) – Hunter Hughes is extremely strong and powerful on top.
170 Finals – Hulse 4-3 over Leidig. Hulse went up 2-0 with :28 seconds left to go in the first period and adds an escape in the 2nd to make it 3-1. Leidig takes bottom on Hulse in the 3rd, which I thought would waste a lot of time (WHB Wrestlers are notorious for putting in double boots and taking a lot of time off the clock), Hulse does put in double boots but gets too high and Leidig reverses him to make it 3-3. Here are the last 27.5 seconds of the match.
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January 17, 2020
Looking For the Perfect Gift For Your Year-End Wrestling Dinner?
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January 16, 2020
Your Nights Must Be Friends With Your Days
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No man, for any considerable period,
Can wear one face to himself
And another to the multitude,
Without finally getting bewildered
As to which may be the true.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Scarlet Letter
________
Harmony between one’s life on the mat and off the mat is a key determining factor for continued success.
The ironic part is the more successful one is on the mat, the greater the distance they put between themselves and their competition, the greater the tendency it is for them to utilize their time in contrast to the way they did which created their success.
We all know the fairytale of “The Tortoise and the Hare.”
The Tortoise could never imagine the Hare ever catching up to him; he was faster, more talented, he worked harder.
Until he didn’t.
When the Tortoise stopped working and started utilizing his time in contrast to how he did when he acquired his lead, he opened the door for the Hare’s victory.
****
“Nothing good happens after midnight.”
How many times have you heard that in your life?
Midnight is the hypothetical line in the sand that identifies where your focus is.
What you focus on will get amplified by the attention you pay it.
If your day ends with hard work and it is important for you to put in another hard-working day tomorrow, then your focus must be on the time before midnight.
Once your focus starts becoming on the time after midnight, you are now sharing the focus reserved to build greatness with all the things that go against you from obtaining greatness.
And you start to drift from living in harmony to living in conflict.
Once conflict occurs, chaos ensues.
It is much easier to stay disciplined than it is to get discipline back into your life again.
Imagine you are in a boat with nine other rowers.
You start with all ten rowers all rowing in the same direction.
There is harmony.
The speed is fast, the pace is quick, you are each motivating each other, and there is a feeling of synchronicity. You make each other better.
Now imagine if out of the blue one rower starts to row in the opposite direction.
Conflict occurs.
At first, the force and momentum of the nine rowers still rowing in the same direction are too much for the one rower rowing in the opposite direction to overcome.
But slowly but surely there will be resentment from the nine rowers who are doing all the work toward the one who is now going against what they want to accomplish.
Now imagine if that one rower starts talking some of the other nine rowers into joining him.
And after comparing the hard work they are doing to the perceived fun it would be to rebel, they join him.
And before you know it that once harmonious boat is now in chaos, five rowers are now rowing in opposite directions.
The boat has come to a halt and is not going anywhere.
Eventually, more rowers will join the other side, and the original direction will now be redirected and outweighed by rowers rowing in the wrong direction.
And the boat will start to give up ground.
****
In life, having discipline is good.
It maintains harmony.
It eliminates conflict.
Remember, “If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.”
________
Is a chapter from Wrestling Rules for Life
Which can be purchased at
January 15, 2020
Wrestling Rules for Life – Rules 1-10 on Audio
The first ten rules from Wrestling Rules for Life.
Rule #1 – Don’t Beat Yourself
Rule #2 – Dream Big Dreams
Rule #3 – Believe Before
Rule #4 – Be Yourself
Rule #5 – Nobody Can Want It More For You Than You Want It For Yourself
Rule #6 – The Odds Should Be Respected But Never Believed
Rule #7 – Be Delusionally Optimistic
Rule #8 – Have the And 1 Attitude
Rule #9 – Everything Matters
Rule #10 – Live In the Zone
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Never Lose the Bruises From Your Greatest Loss
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Turn your wounds,
Into wisdom.
Oprah Winfrey
________
Use your bruises.
Keep them visible to yourself.
They are a reminder of the trials and tribulations and pain that you were willing to endure to achieve your goal.
There are losses, and then there are losses.
Some losses are easy to overcome.
And some losses rock your world.
They disrupt your course.
They alter the axis on which your world spins.
They disrupt your gravity.
They send you in a free fall.
In my experience, these “rock your world” losses come every 7-10 years in life.
Their effects on you are dramatic.
Dramatic enough for you to feel them constantly, to have them factored into every risk decision you ever make and for them to be with you always.
Their effects do wear down over time, though.
It has been my experience just about the time their effects start to fade, another new 7-10-year, “rock your world” loss will appear.
These 7-10-year, “rock your world” losses are very difficult to understand and comprehend.
I know it doesn’t feel like it, but ultimately, they are there to guide you.
And most importantly, they come with a gift.
The Universal Law of Reciprocity says that being that the loss took something of value from you, it must give you back
“The Seed of Something Greater” in return.
After all the smoke has cleared look for “The Seed of Something Greater.”
It will be there.
It’s a Universal Law.
One day, when you are breezing through the rubble of your life, “The Seed of Something Greater” will appear.
The seed will contain a way of keeping the spirit of your loss alive.
What you do with “The Seed of Something Greater” will be up to you.
You can decide to ignore it.
Or you can decide to plant it.
Choose wisely.
The future quality of your life lies in the balance.
________
Never Lose the Bruises From Your Greatest Loss
Is a chapter from
Wrestling Rules for Life
Which can be purchased at
http://www.johnapassarostore.com
January 14, 2020
If You Lost This Past Weekend To a Quality Opponent, Be Thankful
If you lost this weekend to a quality opponent, be thankful.
Be thankful that the quality opponent you wrestled was kind enough to expose your mistakes and weaknesses with enough time for you to still be able to make the necessary corrections and adjustments before the postseason.
That’s why you wrestle quality opponents.
That’s why you seek out the best.
They glaringly expose your mistakes and weaknesses that you couldn’t see existed.
Have you ever written a paper that you felt you had checked over and over and you felt it was near perfect and was ready to be submitted for a final grade but instead of submitting it you put it through spell-check instead?
And to your dismay, as soon as you put it through spell-check a whole bunch of blue squiggly lines started appearing all over exposing glaringly obvious mistakes on what you though was a near perfect paper?
Your first reaction is,
“I’m so glad I ran it through spell-check.”
That’s because you would rather see the blue squiggly lines before you submit your paper for a final grade with an opportunity to correct your overlooked mistakes rather than submit your paper unaware that they exist and then get your paper back with a whole bunch of red squiggly lines and a permanent subpar grade attached.
That’s exactly what happened to you this weekend.
Prior to this weekend you felt your season was near perfect and you were ready to submit it for a final grade.
You felt you were ready for the post-season.
But right before you submitted it, you did the smart thing.
You found the best competition and put your season through a
battle-test instead.
And the quality opponent you faced marked up your season with blue squiggly lines on the glaringly obvious mistakes and weaknesses in your game and was kind enough to hand you a loss.
That’s okay.
You are much better off for it.
You still have enough time to make the corrections and adjustments before the final submission – the postseason.
Go back, look at each glaringly obvious mistake that was exposed through your loss, and correct it.
Be glad that you battle tested your season before submitting it for a final grade.
That’s how you make the grade.
That’s how you win in the post-season.
January 13, 2020
Thank You For Your Support
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I love to read the same book in different formats – paperback at home, eBook on the run, Audiobook while walking, etc.
In that light and as a sign of appreciation to all who follow this blog and my Facebook page, the number just reached 20,000, I am offering all my works (In eBook format) available as a FREE download.
Thank you for giving me the inspiration to write.
Over the years, many of you have purchased paperback copies of my books, this is a great opportunity to add the eBook version at no cost.
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January 12, 2020
Thank You Universe
Thank you Universe for stepping in when I am out of gas.
January 11, 2020
Don’t Let One Loss Beat You Twice
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Pay attention
To what you pay attention to.
Amy Krause Rosenthal
Have you ever witnessed a wrestling semi-slide?
Or perhaps experienced one yourself?
It is one of the most helpless experiences to witness.
Walt Whitman wrote,
“Battles are lost in the same spirit in which they are won.”
There has never been a truer statement written regarding the wrestling semi-slide.
A wrestling semi-slide is when a wrestler experiences a traumatic loss in the semi-finals, and instead of reconciling the loss, they fixate on it.
Their mental focus shifts from their goal to their loss.
They are no longer present in the present; they are fixated on the past.
Instead of resetting a new goal, because their original goal is now unobtainable, they refuse to, and they persistently attempt to get back something that they can’t.
And their mind gets stuck in an endless, infinite loop, trying to solve an unsolvable problem.
This fixation on the loss makes them unable to recover quick enough for their next match which they lose to an inferior opponent.
Their self-sabotage repeats itself the following match too, against an even more inferior opponent.
Thus, completing the slide from the semi-finals,
all the way down to 8th place.
Allowing one loss to beat them twice.
The wrestling semi-slide is a torturous experience for all involved.
Like every coach, parent or any other person who has ever attempted to shake some sense into the wrestler during a semi-slide knows, witnessing a semi-slide is one of the most helpless feelings one could ever experience in the sport.
No matter what you say, no matter what you do,
no matter if you use fear or praise to motivate,
your words, actions, and concern fall on deaf ears when someone is in a semi-slide.
As the wrestler in the semi-slides is determined to self-destruct.
Your words, actions, and inspiration will prove to be of no match against their self-sabotage.
The brain of the wrestler in the semi-slide isn’t functioning the way it should because it can’t reconcile the magnitude of their recent loss.
The only way out of a wrestling semi-slide is for the wrestler to be present in the present, to find gratitude and to reset a new goal.
If the wrestler who experienced a traumatic loss in the semi-finals were able to remain present in the present, he would have beaten his next two opponents and capped his loss at one.
If the wrestler found gratitude, however hard that may have been at the time, their brain would have refocused itself to find the good and allow the wrestler to rebuild again.
If after the initial loss the wrestler reset a new goal to take 3rd place, he would have capped the loss at one.
Inside the torturous experience of the wrestling
semi-slide is one of the most important life lessons the sport of wrestling will ever teach.
Have you ever witnessed a life-slide?
Or perhaps experience one yourself?
Have you ever known a person who just experienced a traumatic event in life?
Who suffered a severe loss?
A person whose brain can’t reconcile the event that just took place?
Or a person who is addicted?
As any person who has ever attempted to reason with anyone who has, or is, knows, it is one of the most helpless feelings one could ever experience in life.
No matter what you say, no matter what you do,
no matter if you use fear or praise to motivate,
your words, actions, and concern fall on deaf ears when someone is in a life-slide.
As the person in the life-slides brain isn’t functioning the way it should in the present situation because it can’t reconcile the magnitude of their recent loss.
It is determined to self-destruct.
Your words, actions, and inspiration will prove to be of no match against their self-sabotage.
Until
They reconcile the event in their minds, by staying present in the present,
They find gratitude,
And they reset a new goal.
After a traumatic loss in life, it is often difficult to reconcile the event in your mind, but being present in the present gives you the best opportunity to.
As it is never the first wave that drowns you,
it is the inability to recover from its force
that allows the smaller second, third, and fourth waves to do the deed.
If the second, third, or fourth waves were taken by themselves, they would have been easily handled and proven to have been of no danger.
Their real danger is in their immediacy after the first wave redirected one’s attention and forced one to lose focus.
Finding gratitude is the key to life.
Appreciation is the bridge from suffering to gratitude.
Gratitude is the fertile land where love flourishes.
And love is the greatest achievement in life.
After a traumatic loss whether in wrestling or life, the way you stop one loss from beating you twice is that you remain present in the present, you find gratitude, and you reset a new goal.
Unfortunately, no amount of the care given to a person in a life-slide by the people who love them will have a permanent impact on them until they do.
Every person will get back to the present, find gratitude, and reset a new goal in their own time,
at their own pace.
And when they do, they will rebuild.
Don’t Let One Loss Beat You Twice
Is a chapter from
Which can be purchased at
