Amy Julia Becker's Blog, page 106

Our Kids and Racial Identity Formation in the Era of Donald Trump

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Wednesday was a day of racial identity formation for our daughter Marilee, age 9. She saw the contrast between how police had prepared for the Black Lives Matter protesters this summer and the contrasting lack of preparation against a group of violent white protesters storming the capitol. 

She saw the Confederate and Nazi flags carried alongside flags with Christian fish symbols and signs that said, “Jesus saves.” She saw the way our faith in the God who came to heal and restore and love and redeem had been co-opted and corrupted by a group of Americans who determined to overthrow a free and fair election. 

Racial Identity Formation

In Jemar Tisby’s new book, How to Fight Racism, he encourages all readers to write down their own story of coming to understand race. We talked about this in an interview Wednesday (which will air soon as the first episode of this season of my podcast, Love is Stronger than Fear).

I shared with him a few moments from my own racial identity formation—the time I was watching a movie with a Black man sitting in a pew in a church among white people and asked my mother why he was there. Until that point, growing up in rural North Carolina, I didn’t understand that Black and white people could go to church together. Tisby shared with me the moment he traveled from his own middle school’s gymnasium to that of a school in a wealthier, whiter suburb and he recognized the gross disparities in their school budgets and how those correlated to their racial differences. 

Children and Racial Identity Formation

Marilee went to bed in tears, asking me to pray for protection against nightmares. I did pray, but I could not take away this terrible truth that a large group of white citizens tried to forcibly undo the workings of our democracy, many in the name of Jesus. I could not take away the fear and sadness. 

I do not want Marilee to grow up with shame about who she is as a white person. I do want her to grow up with an awareness of the shameful acts of injustice that have been perpetrated by white people throughout our history, acts in which we have been complicit and from which we have benefitted. I want to expose her to the pain and trauma of our past so that she can participate in healing now and in the future.

To read more with Amy Julia:

Praying for the End of White Supremacy
Continuing the Conversation: Marilee and Ruby Bridges
Big Feelings and Growing Up with Marilee

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my Love is Stronger Than Fear podcast on your favorite podcast platforms.

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Praying for the End of White Supremacy

Image courtesy of Getty Images

Yesterday, January 6, at noon, I interviewed Jemar Tisby about his new book, How to Fight Racism. At the same time that we talked about the way understanding history helps us understand the current moment, President Trump encouraged his supporters to march in protest to the grounds of the United States Capitol. 

Later on in the day, after it became clear that President Trump would encourage “peace” on Twitter while at the same time praising the people who forced their way into the Capitol, I thought about the history that got us to this moment. 

History of White Supremacy

Not just the history of the past four years, in which Trump has spoken incendiary words and supported division and animosity. I thought about the history of our republic. The history of ideals of freedom and democracy. And the history of white supremacy, which has undermined those ideals for centuries. 

President Trump has built a brand based upon white supremacy, the often-unspoken assumptions that have run throughout the history of the United States that people with Western European ancestry are superior to everyone else, and therefore deserve the power and status to rule over everyone else. That brand was on display in full force yesterday. 

President Trump has built a brand based on a lie. A lie about the foundations of American democracy. Even more fundamentally, a lie about what it means to be a human being, what it means to share a common humanity as individuals created and beloved by God.

Unite Against White Supremacy

As Americans, we should continue to disagree with one another over legitimate concerns like how to govern, how to care for the most vulnerable, and how to balance individual liberty and the common good. But we should unite to root out the insidious evil that divides us into people who will do anything, including sedition, to protect our own power. The insidious evil that divides us into people who see “the other side” as evil rather than human. 

My hope and prayer is that yesterday we witnessed the death throes of white supremacy. And that we will do nothing to keep it alive, and everything we can to hasten its destruction, for the good of our nation.

To learn more with Amy Julia:

Love is Stronger Than Fear | Season 3—White Picket Fences
AJB on Racial Healing
Breaking Ground: Is God Antiracist?
S3 E6 | Now Is the Time for Justice with Jemar Tisby

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my Love is Stronger Than Fear podcast on your favorite podcast platforms.

The post Praying for the End of White Supremacy appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

Happy 15th Birthday, Penny!

Penny playing backgammon at her party with her Uncle Christian⁠

We celebrated Penny’s 15th birthday last week. She requested a game-themed party, and she has recently become a pro at backgammon. Marilee and William felt confident that they had watched enough reality baking shows to be able to put a backgammon board cake into place.

We found her favorite colors of bright blue and bright orange, and managed to bake a red velvet cake from scratch (though we did learn they take a lot more red food coloring than we used) and came up with this!

Penny can now beat me (and her dad) in backgammon without any help from us. So cool. And on top of that, she is kind and thoughtful and lovely. So much to celebrate!

To read more with Amy Julia:

Missing Out on Beautiful, Pt 2: Eight Essays About a Child With Down Syndrome Growing Up
Missing Out on Beautiful, Pt 1: Seven Essays about Raising a Child with Down Syndrome
Dreaming and Planning With Our Teenager With Down Syndrome

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my Love is Stronger Than Fear podcast on your favorite podcast platforms.

The post Happy 15th Birthday, Penny! appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

12 Tips on How to Start Reading the Bible

In this new year, if you’re considering the small, gradual steps to begin the habit of reading your Bible, I have a short e-book for you—12 Tips on How to Start Reading the Bible. It’s free!

In The Spirit of the Disciplines, Dallas Willard says:

…spiritual growth and vitality stem from what we actually do with our lives, from the habits we form, and from the character that results.

What habits are you forming this year?⁠ Are you wondering if it’s really possible, and worthwhile, to try to start reading the Bible? The short answer is, yes.⁠ Go here to learn more about this e-book and to download your free copy. Or download your copy using the button below.

Download E-Book

Want to read more? Here are some suggestions:

Coronavirus Crisis and What the Bible Has to Say {New Podcast Season}Reading the Bible as a Love Letter5 Bible Passages for Parents of Children with Down SyndromeMissing Out on Beautiful, Part 2

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can subscribe to my Love is Stronger Than Fear podcast on  Apple Podcasts ,  Google Podcasts , and  Spotify , as well as other platforms.

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What Did You Experience in 2020?

When did you experience wonder and joy in 2020? What do you need to let go of from this past year? What word or verse or story will guide you in the year ahead?⁠

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Peter uses the Lectio 365 app as a devotional and used their reflection questions to prompt our family to look back on 2020 together.⁠

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Our kids rolled their eyes at the thought and then willingly joined in on thinking about the ups and downs of the past twelve months—all that we experienced in 2020.

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As we turn towards the promises and blessings and sorrows and fears of 2021, I am grateful for this time to give thanks and grieve and pray for the year ahead, with hope.⁠

Continue reading with Amy Julia:

Penny’s Prayer for Church During COVID-19 Crisis
George Floyd and Breonna Taylor: Why These Particular Deaths Deserve Our Attention
S3 E14 | The Astonishing Hope of a Mortal Life with J. Todd Billings

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my Love is Stronger Than Fear podcast on your favorite podcast platforms.

The post What Did You Experience in 2020? appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

AJB Recommends: Top 3 Episodes of Season 3

Here are the top three episodes from Season 3 of my Love Is Stronger Than Fear podcast based on audience downloads! Now is a great time to get caught up on Season 3 because…Season 4 is coming soon in 2021. Can’t wait to share all the details about the new season!⁠ ⁠

S3 E1 WAKING UP TO PRIVILEGE WITH DAVID BAILEY:

“Race, class, and the kingdom of God all come up in this conversation between Amy Julia and David Bailey, Director of Arrabon, a ministry to help churches become reconciling communities. David and Amy Julia talk about why white people can feel afraid to enter into conversations about race, the controversies over Confederate monuments in David’s hometown of Richmond, Virginia, whether this moment of protest and activism will translate into lasting social change, and more.”⁠

S3 E6 NOW IS THE TIME FOR JUSTICE WITH JEMAR TISBY

“How do we find hope, particularly in white American churches, when our history and identity is intertwined with racism? How does knowing who we were—and who we are—help us move toward justice and who we want to become? I talk with historian Jemar Tisby, New York Times bestselling author of The Color of Compromise, about racism’s past and present reality, his sense of a growing darkness, and also where he sees hope.”⁠

S3 E18 AMERICAN POLITICS, POWER, AND HUMAN FLOURISHING WITH ANDY CROUCH

“Is there hope for power, politics, and privilege to foster human flourishing? Andy Crouch, author of Strong and Weak, talks with Amy Julia about the paradox of authority and vulnerability, how political leaders can use power and risk for the good of humanity, the distinction between blessing and privilege, and pragmatic ways to contribute to human flourishing.⁠”

Listen to these episodes using the links above or by searching LOVE IS STRONGER THAN FEAR WITH AMY JULIA BECKER wherever you get your podcasts!⁠ Or listen online here.

Continue reading with Amy Julia:

More AJB Recommends
Love Your Enemies
AJB Recommends: Books, Podcasts, and Films About Racism and Privilege

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my Love is Stronger Than Fear podcast on your favorite podcast platforms.

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Christmas Recap

A recap of our family Christmas…treasuring memories!

CHRISTMAS EVE

We always spend Christmas at my mom and dad’s house, and I realized this year that we no longer have a nativity scene at home. We passed the playMobile one down to younger cousins and never replaced it. Mom has a plethora— homemade felt Mary and Joseph, a wooden puzzle, one that she baked out of clay, and one made out of natural objects. But as we approached Christmas Eve, we realized we usually reenact the nativity, so I told the kids they needed to put one together from objects within the house. William made a manger out of popsicle sticks and shepherds out of lacrosse balls and Joseph out of a hockey puck. We only managed to have two wise men and a dog stood in for a cow and a seal took the place of a donkey. Happy Birthday, Jesus!

THE NUTCRACKER

Penny agreed to show Aunt Kate (who owns a dance studio) her dance for the Nutcracker this year. Even in snow boots, it was beautiful!⁠

CHRISTMAS TREASURE HUNT

In a tradition that goes back at least to my grandparents, Christmas in my household has always included a “treasure hunt” with rhyming clues that take kids from room to room all over the house until they find a group gift. These three were reading clues together for the final leg of this year’s journey, which ended with the piano from Big. (Yes, I was weirdly inspired to buy it after watching the so-sad-but-so-funny SNL skit about Christmas morning!)⁠

A CHRISTMAS HIKE

Christmas morning we started talking about what it would be like to rewrite the Christmas story as if it took place today. Our story had Mary as an immigrant teenager whose family had moved to Brooklyn and Joseph as a man in his twenties who had left the life he was supposed to be living (inheriting the small-town family business in CT where we live) and moving to Brooklyn to pursue his dreams as a woodworker. Our meandering tale had the couple running out of money and coming to Joseph’s family to ask for help on Christmas Eve and being rejected again, right as Mary went into labor.⁠⠀

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Peter mentioned an abandoned little cabin in the woods that he knows about, and we imagined Mary and Joseph being rejected by Joseph’s family as a storm rolled in and a tree fell, blocking the road to the hospital. So in our story, Joseph brought her to the cabin to keep her as safe and warm as possible.⁠⠀

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We went to see the cabin—and the very full river and the downed trees—on Christmas afternoon.⁠⠀

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And once again we felt awe that God would entrust himself to us by coming to earth as a baby boy.

CHRISTMAS GIFT EXCHANGE

Outdoor/Covid-friendly gift exchange with my parents. Mom bought foil blankets (“only $2 each on Amazon!”) to keep us warm!⁠

OUR CHRISTMAS FEAST

Our Christmas feast wasn’t perfect—we undercooked the meat, and the second oven blew a fuse, so we put half of the green bean casserole in the toaster oven. But Marilee made the rolls, and they were perfect.⁠

READING OVER CHRISTMAS

We went for a family hike, and one child promptly fell in the stream we needed to cross, and so I ended up sitting in the car with my feet wrapped in a sweatshirt because I gave this child my socks and shoes.⁠⠀

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And as much as I was sorry to miss the hike, I was also happy for a few hours to read on my own. ⁠⠀

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Right now I’m reading an advanced copy of Jemar Tisby’s How to Fight Racism, and I love his suggestion for all people—no matter your racial background—to write a racial autobiography.⁠⠀

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See photo above for questions he uses as prompts for that personal exploration.⁠

Continue reading with Amy Julia:

What Repentance Has to Do With Christmas
AJB Recommends: Holiday Favorites
The Healing Work of Salvation

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my Love is Stronger Than Fear podcast on your favorite podcast platforms.

The post Christmas Recap appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

When Christmas (and Life) Is Unexpectedly Disappointing

It’s going to rain. A lot. We have a foot of snow on the ground, and the past week has held snowshoeing and skiing and sledding and gathering outside around fire pits with family and friends. We were dreaming of a white Christmas. It felt like a gift at the end of a year of disappointments and losses. And now the weather forecast calls for rain, heavy at times, from 4 this afternoon and continuing through all of Christmas morning. Christmas is disappointing this year.

And of course, my disappointment with the weather forecasts pales in comparison to the heartbreak and hardship so many others feel right now. Whether it is the ache of separation and distance or the more acute pain of navigating holidays where loved ones have died—this Christmas comes with some measure of disillusionment for us all.

My mind goes to Mary. Anticipating giving birth to her first baby. Anticipating giving birth to a miraculous child. I’m guessing she wished Elizabeth could have been there. That the celebration of Jesus’ birth would resound throughout the land, and not just with the shepherds. That the shame she endured through this pregnancy would be suddenly vindicated.

I don’t know what she had in mind, but I’m guessing her dreams of childbirth to the King of Kings did not include being all alone in a feed shed. 

It comforts me to remember that Jesus was born into hardship and disappointment, into pain and dirt and sweat and blood, into obscurity and loneliness and separation. And that even in that very real, very disillusioned, very raw place—he brought peace. He brought hope. He brought joy. He brought love.

So as the rain begins to fall tonight and into tomorrow, I am going to remember Mary and her willingness to receive her child as a gift in the midst of the unexpected hardship. She pondered all these things, Luke tells us, and treasured them. 

May this Christmas, and the new year, be an unexpected treasure for us all, even when it feels disappointing.

Continue reading with Amy Julia:

What Repentance Has to Do With Christmas
AJB Recommends: Holiday Favorites
The Healing Work of Salvation

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my Love is Stronger Than Fear podcast on your favorite podcast platforms.

The post When Christmas (and Life) Is Unexpectedly Disappointing appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

When Christmas Is Unexpectedly Disappointing

It’s going to rain. A lot. We have a foot of snow on the ground, and the past week has held snowshoeing and skiing and sledding and gathering outside around fire pits with family and friends. We were dreaming of a white Christmas. It felt like a gift at the end of a year of disappointments and losses. And now the weather forecast calls for rain, heavy at times, from 4 this afternoon and continuing through all of Christmas morning. Christmas is disappointing this year.

And of course, my disappointment with the weather forecasts pales in comparison to the heartbreak and hardship so many others feel right now. Whether it is the ache of separation and distance or the more acute pain of navigating holidays where loved ones have died—this Christmas comes with some measure of disillusionment for us all.

My mind goes to Mary. Anticipating giving birth to her first baby. Anticipating giving birth to a miraculous child. I’m guessing she wished Elizabeth could have been there. That the celebration of Jesus’ birth would resound throughout the land, and not just with the shepherds. That the shame she endured through this pregnancy would be suddenly vindicated.

I don’t know what she had in mind, but I’m guessing her dreams of childbirth to the King of Kings did not include being all alone in a feed shed. 

It comforts me to remember that Jesus was born into hardship and disappointment, into pain and dirt and sweat and blood, into obscurity and loneliness and separation. And that even in that very real, very disillusioned, very raw place—he brought peace. He brought hope. He brought joy. He brought love.

So as the rain begins to fall tonight and into tomorrow, I am going to remember Mary and her willingness to receive her child as a gift in the midst of the unexpected hardship. She pondered all these things, Luke tells us, and treasured them. 

May this Christmas be an unexpected treasure for us all, even when it feels disappointing.

Continue reading with Amy Julia:

What Repentance Has to Do With Christmas
AJB Recommends: Holiday Favorites
The Healing Work of Salvation

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my Love is Stronger Than Fear podcast on your favorite podcast platforms.

The post When Christmas Is Unexpectedly Disappointing appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

Christmas: Prepare for a Party

Image from Getty Images Signature

As we prepare for Christmas, we prepare for a party, to celebrate. For many years, I’ve thought about Christmas as a time to “prepare room” for Jesus. I’ve usually thought about it in terms of “cleaning up” in order to make space for Jesus. It makes sense to me: notice the “mess” or the “dirt” in my life, confess it to God. Make space for Jesus. 

Prepare to Party

But we were talking about this idea as a family last night, and Peter asked our kids what they would do if they knew Jesus was coming over. Marilee answered, without hesitation, “Get out the cheese and crackers and pour some wine!”

Her mind went immediately to throwing a party. 

She wasn’t thinking about cleaning up. She was thinking about hospitality. Welcoming. Celebration. 

There’s certainly a place for repentance and confession as we look forward to Christmas day. But, wow, am I glad that Marilee reminded me of something far more fundamental. We prepare for a party. We prepare to celebrate.

Prepare to Celebrate

We celebrate the one who comes to our doorstep and knocks, the one who is eager to join our household because He delights in being with us.

We celebrate the one who knows that there will be parts of our lives that are messy, dirty, smelly, tired, and old, and who gladly enters into that mess without judgment.

We celebrate the grace that is given to us.

We celebrate the love that is lavished upon us—freely, without condition, in abundance.

This Advent, as we play Christmas carols and decorate the tree and plan the feast and wrap the presents, we are preparing room for Jesus. We are preparing for a party.

Continue reading with Amy Julia:

What Repentance Has to Do With Christmas
AJB Recommends: Holiday Favorites
The Healing Work of Salvation

If you haven’t already, please  subscribe  to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  Twitter,  and you can  subscribe to my Love is Stronger Than Fear podcast on your favorite podcast platforms.

The post Christmas: Prepare for a Party appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.