Lian Dolan's Blog, page 31

Do the Work Wednesday #7: Tapping Into Your Creative Spirit

I am often approached/accosted by fellow mom friends asking the same question, "Lian, how do you do it?  The writing, the podcast, the cranky e-mails to companies about their appalling customer service. You're always busy with something creative."

Then, these same moms follow-up with the lament, "I wish I had some creative outlet in my life."

I'm lucky to have found a creative profession because it gives me the best excuse in the world to express myself: it's my job. I don't have to squeeze creativity in at the end of the day, somewhere between doing the dishes and reading the bedtime stories. (Although, in the right hands, a children's book can be a great outlet for creativity!) I don't work in an office all day doing something very strategic and then try to design jewelry in my spare time.  I so admire the crafters who make that happen late into the night.

My creativity punches a time clock:  I send the kids off to school, have several cups of coffee, turn on the faucet marked "inspired" and start writing. Or talking into a microphone.  Frankly, some days, the faucet is running pretty slow. But the opportunity is there to invent a new character or shape an anecdote or crack myself up with my own writing, which is really not very professional.

But I laugh anyway.

As a mother, laughing and self-expression play a huge part in allowing me to retain my self-identity. I've never felt lost on my role as a mom, because I've always had my role as a writer and a broadcaster to tap into when motherhood gets overwhelming. I can use my storyteller's toolbox to give me perspective on whatever may be happening in my life.  Hey, what's a parenting crisis today is a TV show idea tomorrow!

What amazes me is that these lamenting moms wishing they had a creative outlet are usually incredibly creative women.  But somehow, haven't labeled their talents as such.  Are you one of them?  Do you entertain with panache or design your gardens with care?  Do you direct the school plays or write the volunteer organization newsletter with pizzazz?  Maybe you've created family scrapbooks that dazzle. Believe me, if you saw the piles of baby pictures that constitute my "family scrapbook," you may have a better understanding of your gifts.

Maybe creativity isn't an action, but an attitude. Approaching any almost any activity with an open mind and an inventive spirit can qualify as a creative outlet. Give it a try.

Embracing my chaos, Lian

Related Posts:

Do the Work Wednesday # 6: Marathon or Sprint

Do the  Work Wednesday #5: Nose to the Grindstone

Friday To Do List for April 6: Brunch, Write and Re-Think the College Tour

I hope those of you on Spring Break are enjoying a little break from your regular school year routine. Do you think that's what Spring Break really means? I never thought about it like that.  I know we are here. With only one son to get off to school int he morning, it's seems exponentially less chaotic. Why is that?

Fortunately, we have very few plans for the weekend. A true break in the middle of  a long run of dueling youth sports/standardized testing/school projects. The pace picks up next weekend, but until then my To Do List includes almost nothing! Well, except:

Writing Yes, having a good week with some good page counts. Thanks for the support all.

Yoga I had gotten away from regular classes because of a variety of scheduling issues. But recommitted and feel great.

Brunch Totally looking forward to Easter Brunch at a restaurant. Is that a new thing? When did "Easter Brunch" become a standard like Mother's Day Brunch? Maybe, I've just never looked before, but this year we're headed to Santa Monica to indulge with my parents.

 

Oh, and a little college tour update that I thought the Chaos Crew would appreciate.  Remember I mentioned that my husband and son were headed off to see some schools in Northern California? After weeks of nagging, the travel plans have been made, the friend has been asked and the soccer video has been edited & letters have been sent to coaches. Now, time to book those tours, right? Not so fast. All the tours at the three top schools have been completely booked! hahaha. Apparently, every other high school kid in California is touring this week, because I struck out at 3 of 4 schools. I'm not shocked ( It's Easter week! Lots of kids have this week off…) but I do feel a bit smug. Um… I told you so? Fortunately, after years of making  no reservation, do-it-yourself-touring is our family specialty.

 

Embracing my chaos, Lian

Related Posts:

Honey Baked Ham included

Staycation Ideas for those on a budget

Vacation, Schmacation: Made- up Alternative for Spring Break

Vogue Diet Mom Controversy: How to Talk to your Daughter about Weight

On Chaos Chronicles podcast 510, I talked about the controversial article in Vogue by Dara-Lynn Weiss about putting her 7 year old on a diet. I had the opportunity to read the Dara-Lynn Weiss article before the controversy hit the web, so I went in unbiased. My first thoughts when I read the article were this:

1. That little girl will spend her whole life watching her weight.

2. That mom needs to get her own eating issues under control so she can better help her daughter over the long haul.

I was sympathetic to the mom Dara-Lynn Weiss. Her daughter was obese, according to her doctor, thanks to a lifetime of loving food . As a result, Dara-Lynn worked with a nutritionist who put her daughter on a sensible eating plan for children modeled on Weight Watchers.  She increased her activity and watched her snacking. On the surface, this mom was being pro-active about a real medical condition faced by her daughter and using the medical approach to deal with the problem. Along the year-long journey,  this mom faced one obstacle I've been talking about  for years: the overabundance of cookies, candy, cupcakes at every event attended by children. All in all, I thought she was trying to do the right thing, but maybe her methods could have been more holistic, upgrading the eating habits of the whole family along the way.

Is Dara-lyn Weiss a perfect mom? No, she is honest about her own weight issues and admits to scarfing down cupcakes in secret while withholding the forbidden food from her daughter. ( Much of the media and online pile-on around Vogue Diet Mom centers on her "depriving her daughter of cupcake", as if  the daily eating of cupcakes is a right for every American child. )

The whole controversy  reinforces to me the odd relationship we have with kids and weight in this country. When they are babies, parents and grandparents brag about the birth weight of the baby, as if that signifies superior intelligence or genes. But we also see parents of overweight kids being stripped of the custody of their kids.  Mrs. Obama is mocked for her efforts on behalf of healthy eating and getting kids moving while parents go to battle at PTA meeting for the right to bear cupcakes at in-class birthday parties.  In the middle of those two positions, we see lots of American kids headed towards a lifetime of weight issues and a very scattershot approach to dealing with the real public health issues.

What's worked with your kids when talking to them about the issues of weight? Moms of daughters, do you find yourself tip-toeing around this topic? Does it bring up issues for you you thought you'd dealt with in high school?

I'd love to  hear from Mom and Dads who have successfully worked with their kids to get them into a healthy weight range . Let's help each other help our kids.

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

Related Links:

The Vogue article is not available online, but you can read articles about the article here from the New York Times and here from Time Magazine by Judith Warner.

Institutionalized Snacking

Institutionalized Snacking Part 2

What We Find When We Go Looking for Facebook

Today, I spent the day writing and then "upgrading" my Facebook pages to the Timeline layout. (It doesn't feel like an upgrade when they threaten to do it for you!) Trying to find photos and logos that fit the FB specific sizes proved to be challenging– but I did come across some perfectly fine photos worth sharing even if they are deemed "too small" for Facebook.

Taken Labor Day 2001 at my parents 50th Anniversary Party in Wesport, CT. Sheila's boyfriend at the time took the photo. He never said much... but he always had a camera. I love this shot-- better than any of the posed photos that followed.

At the Gracies with my mother and Carson Cressly. Priceless.

On Liberty Island imitating the Statue of Liberty. We were on tour with Oprah Winfrey, but i had a little backstage time to kill. Monica took the photo; outfit by Chicos. Great, great day.

Thanks for playing along…

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

 

 

Crowdsourcing Dinner and Other Requests

Last week, I opened my organic produce box and there was a big bunch of bok choy. While I've enjoyed bok choy over the years, I'd never actually cooked any myself.  My rationale? What's the point of  of Irish girl attempting  Asian cooking  here in Southern California? It almost seems insulting to the many fine Asian eating establishments here for me to cook anything that requires "rice vinegar" or "five spice mix. " But that aside, I still had this big bunch of bok choy to consume.

So I took my bok choy dilemma to Facebook.

And, without judgment, I crowdsourced dinner.  You left 22 comments, many with links to recipes. Thank you so much, my Facebook friends. My original plan was to grill it with a little soy, ginger and rice vinegar, but that didn't work out. (Thanks anyway, Professor Kerry) So, last night, I went with the Beef and Bok Choy Hot Pot suggested by Kim Hall, then followed up by Dana Carroll with an actual link.  I had all the ingredients except the fresh ginger, so it required a trip to the store, but not a huge outlay of cash. Kim, Dana– the Hot Pot was a hit! Fresh and delicious.

Click here for the recipe for Beef & Bok Choy Hot Pot from Cooking Light Magazine. Thanks, Crowd

 

Here is the recipe in case you find yourself with a big bunch of Bok Choy: Beef and Bok Choy Hot Pot from Cooking Light

 

In the meantime, I thought I'd crowdsource a few other items that I have questions about:

I need to create a picture thank you card. What's the best place to do that if it's a non-holiday?
What's our collective stance on those brightly colored jeans for women over 40? Are we pro-color pop or should we stick to blue?
Thinking about throwing some tomato plants into a bed in the back yard. What kind of tomatoes should I grow?
Anybody got a good  hard wood floor guy in Pasadena? I need to have the floors redone at some point this year.
Looking for white palazzo pants for an event. Any suggestions?
What should I do with all that leftover ginger?

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

Thanks, Crowd. If you need anything from me, let me know.

 

 

Chaos Chronicles 508: The Hunger Games; Real Simple Time Pie Charts & Trayvon Martin

Heading into the weekend, Chaos Crew, with a new Chaos Chronicles podcast for you. On the show this week:

The Chaos Chronicles: DIY fallout or What Happens when the neihbors realize you like to do your own home repairs

The Good and Not So Good of Social Media: The Trayvon Martin Case and The Shockingly fast Downward Spiral of Jason Russell of Kony 2012

The Hunger Games: I read the book , now hear if I'll see the movie

Real Simple Women & Time and Most Excellent Pie Charts:  realsimple.com has devoted a new section to Women and Time management. They've also created these fabulous time usage pie charts, an addictive use of any free time you might actually have. Check out the Real Simple Women & Time here.  Here's my pie chart:

What Other People Think I Spend My Time  On: 

The Pie Chart I created at realsimple.com under the What Other People Think I Do All day category. Opportunities abound for more humor. See the others at Real Simple-- from Katniss Everdeen to Carrie Bradshaw. Or create your own! Click on the graphic above.

 

Have  great weekend. Embrace your Chaos, Lian

Do the Work Wednesday #6: Marathon or Sprint?

On the podcast over the last couple of weeks, I've given a shout-out to my friend Linda who was helping my friend Kate train for the Los Angeles Marathon that took place last Sunday. According to a great email from Linda, I'm happy to report that Kate not only finished the 26.2 miles, she actually placed 77th out of 455 women in her age group. I call that A Top 100 finish!  Way to go, Kate!

And Linda, you are a true Satellite Sister for keeping her company on all those training runs. We all need Satellite Sisters like you to keep us on track, literally and figuratively. If I had anymore  Satellite Sister bathrobes in my closet, I would send one along. But I don't, so here's as Atta Girl.

After reading about Kate's success, it got me thinking of the two most basic strategies with which I approach tasks: the marathon or the sprint.

The Sprint: There are a million little projects that I can gear myself up for because I know the effort will be short and concentrated. I can go like crazy for a few weeks ( or days) , execute the plan and then be done. Like the cast party for Peter Pan that I just volunteered to organize ( Not host! Not again) .  Some pizza +  some paper goods + a few hours of exerted effort= Completed Cast Party.  Or Team Mom for a season. Or an all out effort to re-do my websites and social media presence. Or putting together a marketing plan for a potential sponsor. Short, concerted efforts that require my full attention, but I can see the finish line at the start.

The Marathon: Others, like writing a novel or starting a business or chairing a fundraiser ( which I've never done!) require months, even years of sustained effort. This is where pacing and mental fortitude come into play. And, accepting the timeline which can be daunting. In terms of my novel, I'm learning that the second book might not get written any faster than the first. Helen of Pasadena took me a year and it looks like Book #2 will take roughly the same amount of time. I have people everyday asking , " When is the next book coming out?" Frankly, it gets a little depressing to say, "Maybe 2013?" But that's the truth. I have to write every word. That's juts how books get written.  And wishing it would go faster doesn't make the work actually go faster.

The Sprint that becomes The Marathon: I'm fine with the marathons if I know they are going to be marathons.  But, we've all had projects that looked like sprints turn into long distances races. I'm thinking of any home remodelling we'cve ever done. Or caregiving for elderly parents that becomes a sustained effort when,  at first, it looked like a short-term situation.Yes, I'd like to lose that 20 pounds  gained in 2006 in six weeks, but it's actually taken me the better part of the year to do it.  The truth is, if I had known it would take so long, I might never have started. So sometimes, ignorance is bliss.  But, I'm almost there so I know the effort was worth it.

What's you approach to your Do The Work project? Is it a marathon or a sprint? Or was it a sprint that's become a marathon?  And don't forget the trap of running too many sprints while you're still training for that marathon. Too many running metaphors? I'll stop now because I'm winded.

Embracing my chaos , Lian

Related Posts:

Do the Work #5: Nose to the Grindstone

Do the Work #4: Sharing your Ideas 

New Satellite Sisters Show up…

Good Monday morning…

This weekend, we recorded a Satellite Sisters podcast on Sunday morning. Take a listen, if you haven't. It explains what's been happening behind the scenes in our lives, mainly as adult children caring for our aging parents.

Click here to listen to Satellite Sisters 031812

I'll follow up on Thursday on the podcast. But today, I'm headed out to Santa Monica ot my parent's house to do a few home repairs and some manual labor. All of my sisters and brothers bring something to the party when it comes ot caring for our parents. My specialty is food prep, heavy lifting and anything that involves power tools. Today, my son will be weilding the power screwdriver to install an extra lock on the door.

because that's life…

 

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

Chaos Chronicles Podcast 508: Summer Schedule Stress; Dads vs. Huggies & A Tribute to Ocean Spray

Top of the morning to all of you. I know it's a day early, but happy St. Patrick's Day. I'm in the mood now, as I just watched my sister Sheila, a third grade teacher,  win the Jig Contest at her school. She drafted me to attended for moral support and my particularly loud clap. But she didn't need my help to take the crown ( and the flashing Shamrock necklace). She had the support of the entire third grade which cheered particularly loud for her Riverdance routine. Erin Go Bragh, Sheila Rigby Dolan!

On Chaos Chronicles 508:

The Chaos Chronicles: can one multigenerational family find 3 days of vacation time this summer?

Brands & Branding: Dads Mad at Huggies;  Adweek defines three new archetypes of women advertisers are targeting; and Martha Stewart's Easter Arsenal

 

How delicious can one juice be? Thank you, Ocean Spray, for all you do.

Plus a Very Special Shout-out to Ocean Spray . Thanks, Ocean Spray, for doing such a fine, fine job at brand extension. I can't say enough about everything from Craisins to Sparklers. And loving the Cherry Juice. Click here to visit the very cheery ( and cherry) Ocean Spray Website. Recipes, products and charming photos of cranberry bogs.

Also, the To Do List.

 

 

 

What are your plans for St. Patrick's Day? I was planning on attending Pasadena's LitFest and then the rockin' after-party. But, alas, LitFest has been postponed until May 12 thanks to a giant winter storm headed our way. So I'm open to suggestions…

Embracing my chaos, Lian

Related Posts:

The Triumph of the Mashed Potato Bar

Thanksgiving To Do List: As many Cranberries as Possible

 

Do The Work Wednesday #5: Nose to the Grindstone

Yesterday, I did something I rarely do: I went to a coffee shop and wrote. And I actually wrote. I'm always suspicious of writers in coffee shops because I need complete silence and no distractions to get down to business. Or so I thought. But yesterday, I surprised myself by getting a few pages done while my son was at lacrosse practice.  The price of gas being so high, It's not worth dropping him off, driving home, then driving back at rush hour. So several days a week now, I find myself on the other side of town with about an hour and a half to kill. Usually, I walk or do a Target run or some combination of the two. But yesterday, I packed my laptop and headed to Starbucks because I was behind.

Yes, behind on the master schedule in my head. The medical emergencies here over the last 3 weeks have really cut into my productivity. I know, that's life. But it's still an issue that gets me down and causes stress.  Ironically, it's the projects like a new book– that's no one's paying you for or specifically waiting for– that I find need the most care to stay on track. When i have a contract, deadlines and a paycheck waiting, it's easier to find the time. But working on my own, it's easy to let those deadlines slide.

So I decided to put my nose to the grindstone over the next two weeks and try to make up the pages so I can stay on my monthly target. Those three pages I wrote at Starbucks may not seem like a lot, but they put my mind at ease and got me back on track mentally. I feel better today because I made up some work yesterday.

How is it going with your Do the Work goals? Are you behind? Ahead? How do you make up the work when you fall behind? Let us all know.

 

Related Posts:

Do the Work #4: