Lian Dolan's Blog, page 30

Graduation Guide From Pre-School to College: Congratulations, Graduate!

The graduation season is upon us, from Pre-school to College. As parents, it’s our job to mark the passage of time with deep sighs, head shakes, and appropriate gifts. I don’t consider myself a protocol professional, but I am a veteran of too many graduations to count, having grown up in a family of 8 kids who seemed to be constantly graduating from somewhere. In addition, my own children have been through a few ceremonies themselves, so I want to offer a short and sweet graduation handbook.

 Pre-school and Kindergarten

What to expect: Adorable children fidgeting, waving indiscriminately, and singing “This Little Light of Mine“ while all the moms cry.

What to Bring: A camera. Because, trust me, no matter how special their pre-school or kinder years are, they will not remember a thing about the entire experience.  Except, of course, the time little Macaulay fell off the swing and the fire truck had to come.

What to give:  Nothing. Save your money. Really, they will not remember.

What to serve afterwards: Ice cream sundaes.

 

Middle School

What to expect: Awkward children fidgeting, laughing indiscriminately, and singing Green Day’s “ Time of Your Life” while all the moms cry.

What to bring: Your enthusiasm. Because, chances are, your child will be too self-conscious to muster any on his/her own behalf.

What to give: Electronics. If you’ve held off on the cell phone or laptop, now is the time reward your young teen for making it through the worst years of their life. And making you relive the worst years of your life.

What to serve afterwards: Nothing that will get stuck in their braces.

 

High School

What to expect:  The full cap- and- gown experience, with classic cliched speeches by the valedictorian and the most popular kid in class. Extra cheers from the crowd for the quarterback, the class clown, and anyone admitted to an Ivy League college.  Somebody’s family will bring an air horn, despite warnings.  And a small percentage of the class actually sings the words to ” Seasons of Love” from Rent, while all the moms cry.

What to bring: Sunscreen or Umbrella, as it will either be the hottest day of the year or the rainiest.

What to give: Cash.

What to serve afterwards: A lovely chicken salad that you can make ahead and dish up in a jiffy, as your graduate will be in a hurry to get to a better party with friends.

 

College

What to expect: A full day of high-minded speeches, processionals, and conversations about the weather with fellow graduate’s parents but very little interaction with your actual graduate.  When the degree is finally awarded, all the dads cry– tears of joy –as tuition payments end.

What to bring: Younger siblings to act as a scouting party for seats in the shade for the parents and grandparents. Provide scouts with provisions and packing tape to mark off saved chairs, as they will be holding down position for hours. Extra tape can be used later to box up all of graduate’s possessions to put in minivan.

What to give:  Whatever you can afford after four (or five!) years of room and board.

What to serve:  A hearty meal, as everyone will be starved after daylong ceremony.

 

What’s on you graduation schedule this year? Share you advice, tips and gift-giving protocol.

Embracing my chaos, Lian

 

What I learned in Middle School

Graduation Playlist: A Chaos Crew All Play

The Teen Commandments

Volunteer Sabbatical! Give-Away! The Art of Persuasion! All in Chaos Chronicles Podcast 513

Say it with me: Volunteer Sabbatical. I made the decision in March, but only this week did I feel the enormity of my actions. Right there in the frozen foods aisle of Smart & Final when I couldn’t find the frozen meatballs I’d been planning on passing off as my own for the International Heritage Day Picnic,  I knew I was done. Toasted. Burnt out after years of raising my hand to say, “Yes, I’ll do that/bring that/run that.”  The lack of meatballs was a metaphor for something, but I couldn’t figure out what because I was too spent. The time to walk away had come and I’d already take the first major step.

Volunteer Sabbatical, here I come.

After a year(s) of outside commitments at two schools and my college, I decide to step away from all binding volunteer activities starting in June. When I said my first “no” in March to remaining on the PTA board at my son’s high school, I felt an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders . It was such a life-affirming feeling, I thought I should take a deeper look inside at what all my various volunteers commitments has wrought.  The hours weren’t huge and I did love the sense of camaraderie with the other volunteers, but I had lost my zeal. Even 3 or 4 hours a week was starting to bring me down when I paired it with work, home, family time and a growing need to be a caregiver. With a son applying to college in the fall and a father entering the final stages of Alzheimer’s, the upcoming year looked like the perfect time to take care of family first. Like a tenured professor who needed recharging, I cooked up the concept of a Volunteer Sabbatical– a year off with the promise to come back renewed and refreshed.

Do I feel guilty? Not a bit. Someone will step in, they always do.  And when I’m ready, I ‘ll start raising my hand again and putting my name on the list. But count me out from June 15, 2012 to June 15th , 2013. I’m counting the days until my last commitment is completed. Volunteer Short-timers, I guess.

Hear the full story on this week’s podcast Chaos Chronicles 513. Like the concept? Let you friends know about the Chaos Chronicles Podcast at Stitcher Radio and iTunes.

Also on the show this week:

Lian reaches her breaking point and declares a Volunteer Sabbatical!

Communication News: How to get what you want; Smartphone tech for home use; and we like twitter more than what?

Plus, Mothers Day Give-away and  To Do List

Related Posts:

Click here and Comment to win a set of videos from Acacia Fitness! 3 winners will be drawn on Mother's Day.

Click here for a chance to win two fitness DVDs from Acacia Fitness and see a great list of healthy and fit mother’s Day Gifts.

My review of Playborhood

Fitness Videos Give-away plus 4 Things to like for a Fit and Healthy Mother’s Day

Can we combine Mother’s Day with health, fitness and food? I say yes! I’ve been testing, reading, cooking and rocking my my core over the last few months to assemble this Mother’s Day Gift Guide. Though, looking at the list, these are all products I believe we should just be able to buy ourselves, moms or not, because they’ll add to our energy to our lives. So whether you gift or get, please enjoy the following:

Comment below to win a set of videos from Acacia Fitness! 3 winners will be drawn on Mother's Day.

Acacia Fitness DVDs : I love when the people at Acacia send me a new batch of their great fitness videos because I really like variety in my workouts. And, I recently broke up with my gym after an incident at yoga class, so I’m unattached at the moment. Who better to workout with than Kristi Yamaguchi or Kathy Smith? No one– because these women are no pushovers. I lent my friend Ryan the Kathy Smith video and she whined to me that next day, “That was hard!” Yes, have you seen Kathy Smith? She didn’t get that way doing it easy! New videos out by Acacia Fitness include yoga asanas from Shiva Rae, the Sparkpeople Boot Camp and the Canyon Ranch. (I love the Shiva Rae More Daily Energy dvd with 7 different 20 minute practices.) Want to win a set of Acacia Fitness videos? Leave a comment and 3 winners will be drawn at random on Mother’s Day at noon PST. Each winner will receive 2 videos, including a copy of Sparkpeople 28 – day Boot Camp. Thanks, Acacia Fitness for providing the videos.

 

You got a veggie or grain? This book has a recipe!

5 Easy Steps to Healthy Cooking : 500 Recipes for Lifelong Wellness by Camilla Saulsbury   I love, love, love this cookbook. For those of you who’ve been following long with my weekly organic produce delivery on Facebook, you’ll know I’ve been trying to incorporate more greens and veggies into my cooking. But sometimes, the veggies arrive and I have no idea what to do with two bunches of rainbow chard or purple baby artichokes. Enter this compendium of healthy recipes from famed Canadian cookbook publisher Robert Rose.  And I mean compendium! 5 Steps to Healthy Cooking may not be the snappiest of titles and you don’t get a lot of fancy photos, but you get a LOT of recipes for almost anything you can think of in your farmer’s market basket. Some of my faves so far: Quinoa Kale Breakfast Casserole, Warm Cauliflower and Parsley Salad and  Shrimp, Grapefruit and Watercress Salad. Good nutritional information included with every recipe. Lots of non-meat options. Click here to find the author’s great food blog Enlightened Cooking and the recipe for my new family standard sidedish: Lemony Quinoa Salad

Click here for lots more information on the book and Ashley

Mom Energy by Ashley Koff and Kathy Keahler  Yes, another book, but this one is all about eating, nutrition and exercise without the tempting dessert recipes. The authors are heavy weights in their respective fields of nutrition (Koff) and fitness ( Kaehler) . If you really want to dig deep into how you can make your body perform the everyday functions of being a mom at the highest levels– and you’re a bit of a nutrition-geek– then Mom Energy is right up your alley. Here’s a hint: it’s not coffee and energy bars!  Ashley Koff describes her approach as “qualitarian”– eating good quality foods with high nutritional impact. I saw Ashley Koff last year at a presentation and she blew me away with her own momenergy! And Kathy Kaehler has always been one of my favorite fitness personalities with her great attitude and commonsense approach. This is a book that will get you thinking. I learned a tremendous amount from reading Momenergy. To learn more about Momenergy, including how to get a free download of a sample chapter, click here for AshleyKoff.com  

The boys love these after a hard workout.

Sambazon Smoothies  Sambazon professes to be the Amazon Superfood company and those are catch words that I fall for every time. Why just eat food when you can eat a superfood? And if that food comes with the approval of the Fair Trade Partnership to protect the rainforest? Win-win. My sons and I tried these as a free sample and we were hooked. I’m a little suspicious of the promise of smoothies, but the Sambazon delivers in taste and nutrients. The boys ( and their many friends who eat my food) love the chocolate/almond/coconut milk variety. (So much so that one of the friends actually asked if I could buy some more!) I go for the greens.  To read more about Sambazon Smoothies, click here

 

Don’t forget to comment to win a set of Acacia Fitness DVD’s . Tell me what’s on your list to get healthy this spring. 

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

Related posts:

Skin care recommendations: Bobbi Brown; Palmers; Natural Skin Shop

Ten Things to Like this Tuesday to like this Father’s Day

Chaos Chronicles Friday To Do List: Start a Playborhood

Playborhood: Turn Your Neighborhood into a Place for Play

Click here to read more about the book and author.

I’ve mentioned on Chaos Chronicles what a fan I am of the pocket park, mini public spaces  created by neighbors popping up in urban areas all over. The idea delights me that a median or a abandoned lot could become a garden or gathering spot for neighbors. Well, imagine combining the concept of a pocket park with the idea the kids playing outside is good for kids and good for the neighborhood. That’s exactly what author/advocate Mike Lanza has done with his treaty on turning your neighborhood into a place for play called Playborhood.

Mike Lanza is a software entrepreneur who has now turned his attention to getting kids all over America outside to play. The book contains lots of evidence about why free unstructured play is great for kids, if you weren’t already on board with that idea. But then, Mike goes several steps further to illustrate how parents all over the country have managed to create safe, fun places to play within their own communities and how the communities at large have benefited.

Mike himself lives in Menlo Park,  California, which if you haven’t been there, is pretty much paradise with safe neighborhoods and great weather. So it’s not hard to imagine kids happily playing outside in an environment like that. But that doesn’t mean they do, with the allure of high tech gadgets in every house ( it is the bedroom community for Silicon Valley, after all) and an emphasis on scheduled, organized activities. In Playborhood, we learn how and why Mike created his own Playborhood in Menlo Park, then moved on to create a national movement with his website, blog and book.

The most inspiring part of Playborhood is the examples of other successful attempts in all kinds of neighborhoods.  from a Summer Playstreet in The Bronx to a child-friendly New Urbanism community in Alabama to  a “Shared Square” in Portland, Oregon ( where else) where an ordinary intersection became a neighborhood gathering spot/kid club house/lending library. On the blog, you can find examples of backyard ice rinks that changed the dynamics of a community ( that’s for all you Minnesotans!). In most of the examples in the book, the Playborhood started as the idea of one neighbor who wanted to change the way their kids lived: outside rather than inside. And, I’m grateful that the solutions take into account that the majority of parents are working parents.

The reality is that thanks to video games, changing work situations for mothers, the race to work on kids college resumes and the 24 hour news channel that make us feel like their is a abductor on every corner, we’re raising a generation of  kids who don’t really know how to “go outside and play.”  Read Last Child in the Wood, Richard Louv’s groundbreaking work on Nature Deficit Disorder if you’re not convinced. I’m a fan of Lenore Skenazy’s Free-Range Parenting movement and the Playborhood concept  fits neatly into that idea. I’ve always felt that my kids were lucky to grown up on a relatively traffic-safe street with sidewalks . Plus, we have good weather in Pasadena. But even with all the physical attributes of a great Playborhood, it still took some planning ( and letting go)  on my part to get them outside for unstructured play. I spent a lot of days on the front stoop or checking out the window while working, keeping an eye on the squad of kids on our street running back and forth from house to house.  The mothers on the block created an alert system, a simple phone call — in the days before texts– with the message “They’re here.”  That meant the kids were somewhere in the vicinity and that was all we needed to know.

Wrestling with this issue yourself? Concerned that your kids spend too much time on the couch and not enough time engaged in creative, active play outside? No matter where you live or what your situation is, Playborhood will provide inspiration to turn your neighborhood into a place for play.

Embracing my Chaos,

Lian

 

 

Do the Work Wednesday #9: It All Counts

This week, I’m delivering a speech to a local organization that awards college scholarships to young women . I’m the keynote speaker for the awards ceremony and then will shake the hands of eight deserving seniors. The idea , of course, is to give the young women an inspirational send-off, imparting the hard-won wisdom of my career. Here’s my first piece of advice: Don’t Wind Up in a Closet. 

That aside, it has gotten me thinking about how I ended up doing what I ended up doing: writing, talking and telling stories.  Despite the title of my talk, My Non-linear Career, there actually  is a thread in what I like to call my “broad-ranging media career,” from my extracurricular activities in grade school to my college course selection to the jobs I talked myself into as a twenty-something (advertising and film production.)  Along the way, there were some detours, but even my detours ended up being great material, so I don’t regret the years I spent ski-bumming or being a stay-at-home mom. In a world where young people are increasing under pressure to make career-minded choices at earlier ages ( See Frank Bruni’s piece from the New York Times) , I’m happy to have had the opportunity to get off the beaten path and then get back on. In terms of my career path, every stop along the way has counted.

Maybe I did end up in the right place after all.

Is there a thread in your career/personal choices? Does you Do the Work project involve learning new skills or reinvigorating and old interest? When you think about where you’ve been, how did you get here?

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

Related Posts: 

Do the Work #8: Finding Inspiration

 

 

Chaos Chronicles 512: Birth Order; John Edwards vs. The TV show Scandal; College Reunion Prep

On Chaos Chronicles Podcast 512:

The Chaos Chronicles: Or how I nearly starved to death  in a 5 star hotel.

John Edwards Trail vs. The TV Show Scandal: Which one is more unbelievable

Click here to order

The Sibling Effect by Jeffrey Kluger: Lots of interesting information about what the bonds among brothers and sister reveal about us. Lian tackles Birth Order.

The To Do List: Please don’t give me your old stuff

 

 

 

 And Take My Survey, Please! If you have 30 seconds, I’d appreciate it if you take this survey created by Stitcher Radio. Thank you.

 

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

 

 

Mommy Wars! College Tour! Kim Kardashian for Mayor! It’s Chaos Chronicles Podcast 511

Back from Spring Break ready to go with news, commentary and Chaos. On the Chaos Chronicles Podcast this  week:

The Chaos Chronicles: what I did on my Spring Break from botched medical tests to American Idiot. 

News Round-up: Mommy Wars, 50 Shades of Grey review and why is everybody running for Mayor

To Do List: Take my survey. Please. 

If you are a Chaos Chronicles Podcast listener, can you please take a few moments to take my survey? Thanks. We are working with a new distributor and we’re trying to get some information for marketing and advertising purposes. I love doing ht epodcast and would like to continue and ad revenue is key to that. Here’s the link: http://www.wizzard.tv/survey/chaoschronicles

 

Thank you. I apprecaite it.

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

Do the Work Wednesday #8: Finding Inspiration

Sexy and Fun and Set in Paris. Nuff said.

If I was a Pinterest whiz, I’d create an Inspiration Board for you all to see. But, I’m not, so you’ll have to  take my word for it. When I’m in writing mode ( or any creative mode at all, from cooking to  storytelling) I seek inspiration in the world around me.  For writing, I use almost any type of media to hunt for plot points, character names, historical details or simply to keep my motivation up.  When I was writing Helen of Pasadena, I’d write all day and read books in my genre at night. When they muse failed to show up in the morning, I never felt guilty wtaching Sweet Home Alabama one more time because it was a step it the right direction. Plots points from Helen came from all sorts of sources, like newspapers and museum newsletters.

 

 

My motto was ( and is): You never know where you’re going to find inspiration.

What’s inspiring me this time?

TV: The Good Wife

Books: French Lessons by Ellen Sussman

Movies: I’m going to the new Zac Efron picture this weekend while my husband’s out of town

Music: Adele 21

Where do you find inspiration? How do you keep the creative fires simmering?

Let me know. Embracing my Chaos, Lian

 Related posts:

Do the Work Wednesday #7: Tapping into your creative spirit

MESS: Make Everything Stop Syndrome

In a post-Spring Break reflective moment, I’m bringing back a Classic Chaos Column.

 MESS: Make Everything Stop Syndrome

Welcome to that long stretch of the calendar that lies between spring break and the last day of school.  The next few weeks can be tough on the whole family as the academic year grinds to a stop.  We’ve all heard of Senioritis, but what do you know of MESS? Have you noticed any of these symptoms in your household?

Homework Fatigue

Test Date Memory Loss
Decreased Backpack Organization
Increased Desire to Stay in Bed
Carpool Tunnel Syndrome
Diminished Interest in Brown Bag Lunches

Sound familiar? I’m not talking about your sixth grader; I’m talking about you, Mom. You have all the signs of MESS: Make Everything Stop Syndrome.  What seems like such a fine idea in September—education– can wear down every ounce of patience and discipline you have in May.   The hours of homework supervision, the long waits in the pick-up line, or preparing your kids for tests in subjects you can’t even remember taking in school, like Earth Science. It’s not just kids who drag themselves to the end of the school year.  Parents feel the pain, too.

So here are a few suggestions for combating MESS:

Eyes on the Prize  Someone in the house has to keep their focus on what’s really important: not ending up in summer school! So if Junior is dangerously close to a repeat of Algebra 1, you owe it to both of you to maintain close attention to homework completion, test scores and a fabulous teacher’s gifts.

Relax… a little bit  The longer days in the spring mean that you don’t have to hunker down for the evening at 5:00 o’clock.  Let the kids play a little later outside after school, then bring the hammer down before American Idol starts.

Re-Commit to Not Committing   I know you are a dedicated school volunteer, the go-to mom in your class. But resist your do-good instincts and do not sign up to bring watermelon to every end-of-year activity.   You’ll strain something.  After weeks of art fairs, spring sings, and history project presentations, you’ll be too exhausted to enjoy summer. Pace yourself.

Hang in there, baby. Summer coming!  Remember that inspiration poster with the cat hanging from the wall waiting for Friday? Well, in this case, you’re the cat.  Believe that you can get to the end of the school year with a smile on your face. And then remember what it feels like in the middle of August, when you can’t wait for that big yellow school bus to take them away again!

 

What’s you strategy for combating MESS at your house?

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

Related Posts:

Your Volunteer Personality

School Project Madness: Are you the Project Mom?

 

Friday To Do List for April 13: Take in the Pasadena Showcase House of Design

A stormy Friday here in Pasadena, but that doesn’t dampen my enthusiasm for this year Pasadena Showcase House of Design opening on Sunday, April 15th. 

Click here for more information and tickets

 

As you can see, this year’s makeover queen,   a 1927 Spanish Revival in La Canada, is impressive from the outside. And, I can tell you, it’s lovely on the inside as well. I was lucky enough to get a sneak peak at the house before the doors open on Sunday. You can click here to  read my story on Hometown-Pasadena: 10 Reasons to  Love the Pasadena Showcase House of Design

For more information on the Pasadena Showcase House of Design, including hours, tickets, Marketplace and Restaurant hours, please click here.

Embracing my Chaos, Lian

Visiting Pasadena? Want more information?  Check out these links:

Lian’s Insider’s Guide to the Rose Parade and the Rose Bowl /Pasadena

City of Pasadena Website

Old Pasadena Guide to Restaurants and Shops