Lian Dolan's Blog, page 24
December 10, 2012
Chaos Chronicles 605: NEW mp3 Podcast File Uploaded for 605
NEW MP3 File UPLOADED!!!
Lian describes the last few months of her mother’s illness, death and funeral. A list of Lessons Learned and the To Do list for the rest of the year.
Chaos_605_2.mp3
Last Friday, we celebrated the funeral mass for my mother Edna Klarman Dolan in my hometown of Fairfield, Connecticut. I can say with full confidence that she would have loved to have been there. The day was filled with family, old friends, memories and warmth, good food and lovely flowers and a touch of sadness mixed with the laughter. All the hallmarks of a Dolan family event.
I was humbled by the arrival of so many of my cousins from all over the country. High schools pals, college friends and cherished work colleagues took ferries, trains, taxis and planes to be there in support. Liz delivered a wonderful eulogy and the priest gave a comforting homily. My sister-in-law in Connecticut was a rock and all the other “in-laws’ stepped up, too. The few members left of my mother’s generation lent comfort and wisdom; my mother’s great grandchildren, Alice and Ben, added just the right amount of levity and perspective.
And, of course, there was a Honeybaked Ham.
A very public thank you to you all for your support, kind words and thoughtful deeds. I took the help when offered and I welcomed the thoughts and prayers when given. It’s advice I would pass onto to anyone in a similar situation. Now is not the time to be an independent. Interdependence is the way to go in certain situations. I’d like to say thank you, thank you, thank you for : the many meal deliveries, the sympathy cards, the beautiful flowers and rose bushes, the heartfelt Facebook and blog messages. Gratitude to the neighbors who minded the house while we were gone, and to the boys who delivered my Christmas tree on Saturday and my friend who delivered pancakes and blueberry syrup on Sunday.
This week, it’s time to get back to normal. I look forward to it. But I’ll never forget all your kindnesses.
Embracing my chaos, Lian
Related posts:
The Triumph of the Mashed Potato Bar
Edna Dolan’s Blueberry Muffins
Many Thanks for your Kind Words & Deeds
My Mother, New Orleans 2011
Last Friday, we celebrated the funeral mass for my mother Edna Klarman Dolan in my hometown of Fairfield, Connecticut. I can say with full confidence that she would have loved to have been there. The day was filled with family, old friends, memories and warmth, good food and lovely flowers and a touch of sadness mixed with the laughter. All the hallmarks of a Dolan family event.
I was humbled by the arrival of so many of my cousins from all over the country. High schools pals, college friends and cherished work colleagues took ferries, trains, taxis and planes to be there in support. Liz delivered a wonderful eulogy and the priest gave a comforting homily. My sister-in-law in Connecticut was a rock and all the other “in-laws’ stepped up, too. The few members left of my mother’s generation lent comfort and wisdom; my mother’s great grandchildren, Alice and Ben, added just the right amount of levity and perspective.
And, of course, there was a Honeybaked Ham.
A very public thank you to you all for your support, kind words and thoughtful deeds. I took the help when offered and I welcomed the thoughts and prayers when given. It’s advice I would pass onto to anyone in a similar situation. Now is not the time to be an independent. Interdependence is the way to go in certain situations. I’d like to say thank you, thank you, thank you for : the many meal deliveries, the sympathy cards, the beautiful flowers and rose bushes, the heartfelt Facebook and blog messages. Gratitude to the neighbors who minded the house while we were gone, and to the boys who delivered my Christmas tree on Saturday and my friend who delivered pancakes and blueberry syrup on Sunday.
This week, it’s time to get back to normal. I look forward to it. But I’ll never forget all your kindnesses.
Embracing my chaos, Lian
Related posts:
The Triumph of the Mashed Potato Bar
Edna Dolan’s Blueberry Muffins
November 27, 2012
Edna Klarman Dolan 1927 -2012
Edna Klarman Dolan , Santa Monica Beach 2011
It’s with a heavy heart that I announce the death of my mother, Edna Klarman Dolan. After a short, intense bout with cancer, my mother died late Monday night in a room filled with peace, light and love.
My mother was a wife of 62 years, a mother to 8 children, a grandmother to 11, a sister to 6, an aunt to more than dozens and a friend to many. She was a real New Englander, a Connecticut Yankees, born to a generation that worked hard, complained little and accomplished much. She was an avid gardener, a wonderful cook and entertainer and a stylish dresser. She loved Milky Ways, the Yankees and Doc Martin. She preferred white over any color, loved lilies-of -the valley and thought pewter was always in vogue. She was with it, bossy and opinionated. She was a beach go-er and a party planner. But more than anything, my mother was a do-er.
Some people are thinkers or dreamers. Some thrive as ponderers or dwellers. But my mother got stuff done, all day long for 85 years. She didn’t change the world but she changed her world. She was the sum of a million little actions and a maybe a dozen big actions that constituted a life.
In that spirit, I ask you to honor my mother by doing something, maybe even one of the activities she loved: Go for a swim. Plant a rose bush. Say a Hail, Mary. Hang a wreath on your front door. Use linen napkins everyday. Dry some hydrangeas. Buy strawberries at the farmers’ market. Make your bed. Drop off a meal. Pull some weeds. Polish your silver. Pick up a little something at Saks. Wear good shoes. Do a load of laundry. Empty the dishwasher. Set the table. Make dinner. Volunteer at your local botanical garden. Docent. Put down a coaster first. Eat a Pinkberry. Light a candle at St. Patrick’s. Make some hot chocolate. Iron your shirts. Mail a real birthday card. Monogram your towels. Mash some potatoes. Walk your dog. Bring custard to a sick friend. Swap your homemade blueberry muffins for cutting privileges in your neighbor’s garden. Master the art of French cooking. Pack a picnic. Paint a room. Paint a baseboard. Decorate your mantle. Learn to make béchamel. Prepare a cheese platter. Go skiing. Pour some iced tea. Take an elderly friend to church. Plan for the next holiday. Send a gift. Arrange a centerpiece. Call your daughter. Call your sisters. And remember, you can never go wrong with a Honeybaked Ham.
Thank you, Mom.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers,
Lian
November 21, 2012
Giving Thanks
Yes, that was me, having a moment in the produce section at Vons the other day. It was the miniature Pink Lady apples that did me in. My mother usually arrived at my house with a bag of those for eating and decorating purposes. This year, I couldn’t quite bring myself to buy any.
Thanksgiving has always been my mother’s Major Holiday. It represents the best of all her skills: Logistics & Planning; Managing & Delegating; and, of course, Decorating & Cooking. It took her months to prepare for a single day dedicated to family and food . And she wouldn’t have had it any other way.
This year, for our far-flung family, Thanksgiving will be a day of reflection more than celebration. Small gatherings in various cities with some tears and cranberry sauce. It’s not traditional, but that’s the way it goes.
Thanks to all of you for your kind words and support.
Happy Thanksgiving, Lian
November 15, 2012
Kindle Paperwhite Product Review: A Good Little Device for Readers on the Run
Yes, I made the leap to an e-reader! At least for a little bit. As part of the Viewpoints Blogger Review Panel, a new Kindle Paperwhite arrived at my door about a month ago. As an e-reader newbie, I was pretty intimidated. But as a writer, I knew I had to at least give the e-reading experience a whirl, as research at the very least. Don’t worry, Bookstores! I’m not a total convert so I’ll still be stalking the aisles, buying hard-backs and hoping to catch at least one person EVER spontaneously pick up Helen of Pasadena and buy it. But, I will say, I have grown to enjoy my little Kindle Paperwhite and I’ll be sorry to donate it to a worthy charity! (Cuz that’s the deal with this terrific Viewpoints Bloggers Review Panel. We review, then we donate.)
Click here for all the product specs on the Kindle Paperwhite
You can read my full review here at Viewpoints.
And the reviews of others who absolutely loved the Kindle Paperwhite.
But in short, I’d put this well-priced ( $119), lightweight (7.5 oz) e-reader on your list of you love to read on the run. Are you the type that always has a Sue Grafton mystery in the front seat to read while waiting in the carpool line? Do you rip through political thrillers while your kids are at hockey practice? Do you travel frequently for business and want to have a novel nearby at all times? Then the Kindle Paperwhite is for you. As promised in the ads, you can read in bright sunlight. You can read in bed. You can probably read while standing on your head. Would I make the Kindle Paperwhite the only reading device- book or e-reader– I utilized? No. But a good little device to have in your reading arsenal!
But order now for the Holidays because the Kindle Paperwhite is currently a 12/21 ship date at Amazon.
If you just can’t make up your mind, watch our Google Hangout Discussion on the Paperwhite! I downloaded Gone Girl as my first book. See what happened!
Please Note: I am part of the Viewpoints Blogger Review Panel . On an occasional basis, I will be reviewing products provided to me by Viewpoints. My obligation to Viewpoints is to provide and honest consumer review. In exchange for the review, I’m able to donate the product to the charity of my choice.
I’ll be donating this Kindle Paperwhite to Mother’s Club, a longstanding non-profit in Pasadena that provides literacy and parenting class for moms while also providing high-quality pre-school education for their kids. All classes are free of charge. It’s a terrific organization that I’ve supported for years.
What e-readers do you love? Would love to hear!
Embracing my chaos, Lian
November 11, 2012
New Chaos Chronicles Podcast with the Satellite Sisters: Update on the Homefront
Chaos Chronicles Special with the Satellite Sisters: Update from the Homefront
Lian welcomes her sisters Julie Dolan and Liz Dolan, two of the five Satellite Sisters, to the Chaos Chronicles. A Chaos Chronicles/Satellite Sisters: A Panini Generation update on our parents, our lives and Gen. Petraeus
Julie, Liz and Lian reconnect to fill listeners in on the turn of events in the lives of their parents:
Julie reports on how her dad with Alzheimers is adusting to Dallas, Texas
Liz reports on our mother’s cancer diagnosis and what’s happening at Care Central in Santa Monica
Lian reports on her two root canals
and all the Sisters need to talk about Gen. Petraeus
Thanks to The Weepies for use of their song “You can’t go back now.”
Direct download: SatSis_CC_11-11-12.mp3
Category:2012 — posted at: 5:01 AM
November 5, 2012
Occupy Sandy “Wedding Registry” to Help Those in Need– Created by my brilliant niece
Hi, Chaos Crew–
My niece Katherine Dolan is a Brooklynite and a social media expert who created a really fantastic way to donate much needed items directly to Sandy’s victims– an Amazon “Wedding Registry”. Katherine and her two friends Alex and John cooked up the idea on Saturady and now the concept has gone viral, meaning that the word is getting out on how to help the folks in need.
Below is a letter Katherine sent out to family and friends on how to use the registry. And then below that are several links ot stories already written about their Occupy Sandy project. Way to go, Katherine and Team! ( And, in other Dolan Next Gen News, my other nieces in Brooklyn and Long Beach, Long Island have been doing tremendous work helping out on the local level. Very Proud of you all, Girls…)
Hi Family -
Alex, his friend John, and I went to help out the hurricane relief efforts at a church in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn today. This church is acting as a hub for “Occupy Sandy” which is delivering hot meals hands on volunteers, clothes, supplies, counseling, etc. to the most affected areas which we can get to by car.
Here is what you have to do:
1) Go to: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wedding/32TAA123PJR42
2) Search and select whatever you can contribute just like a normal
wedding registry
3) Make sure you select the listed “Occupy Sandy” address for
shipping
We are starting out with high priority items like flashlights, batteries, blankets and candles. Other categories will be added soon.
Please share with anyone near or far that you think would like to buy some supplies and help this cause! Feel free to forward my
email or just send the link.
Love,
Katherine
And some related links on the registry:
http://www.thedailymeal.com/brooklyn-residents-start-wedding-registry-sandy-relief
http://www.buzzfeed.com/hillaryreinsberg/the-most-brilliant-use-of-amazons-wedding-registr
Please spread the word! thanks.
Embracing my chaos and headed off to the dentist, Lian
October 30, 2012
Superstorm Sandy and Hurricane Edna
Hi, all…
Happy to hear that so many of the Chaos Crew and Satellite Sisterhood are safe after enduring Sandy for the night. Keep your updates coming here and on my Facebook page. I’ve been particularly anxious about my hometown of Fairfield, Connecticut and about the safety and welfare of the many nieces and nephews I have in Brooklyn and Lower Manhattan, so I appreciate all the check ins. Let me know what’s up.
I’m also concerned about the massive number of chocolate chip cookies that were baked yesterday in anticipation of power outages, according to your Facebook posts. I hope some survived the night and you have a ample supply for the next few days.
Meanwhile, here in Southern California, where the sun is shining and we have some mild Santa Ana wind conditions, we are hunkering down with my mother Edna Dolan who was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Last week, my sister Sheila took the week off to take over nursing duties and get my mom through some tough days. My mom’s energy is low and her appetite is weak. She has good hours and not good hours. Now, my sister Monica, a nurse, is back in SoCal for the week and Liz is back at work. Today, I’m heading out to take my mother to the doctors and provide some respite care and potato leek soup for the ground crew. The situation is very day-to-day, as people warned me it would be. I didn’t truly understand what that meant, but now I get it. It’s hard to make a plan for tomorrow, never mind next week or next month. My mother’s health will not improve, but it’s impossible to say how quickly it will deteriorate.
On the home front, we made it through mid-terms, a weekend of soccer games, the Homecoming dance for both boys and their dates and packing up my parents’ apartment. Honestly, packing up their apartment was a tough detail. My husband and I worked our way through the closets and drawers and boxes in a systematic fashion, but it was still emotional. The original plan had been to move everything to Dallas, minus the furniture which was being distributed to various children. But after my mother’s diagnosis, their possessions are in limbo in my garage. An unexpected turn of events, to be sure.
Continued thanks for your concern and kind words. Hats off to the meal providers both in Santa Monica ( Ryan & Dexter, you are the best!) and here in Pasadena ( The many trips to Santa Monica and the 3- hour driving time in traffic has really cut down on my ability to shop and cook. Enter the lasagne makers, the enchilada deliverers! Dinner coming tonight to cover today’s trip to SM. Thank you, Elizabeth!) I’ve been very touched by all the kindness.
My good thoughts go out to Sandy Survivors. I hope you get your Halloween. I’m dedicating mine to those kids who might miss out this year. More candy for all!
Stay safe. Embrace your Chaos, Lian
October 23, 2012
Two New College-Bound Chronicles Podcasts: Finalizing the List and Cost Cutting Tips for the Admissions Process
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Life goes on here in Pasadena and for me right now, that means college admissions for my son Brookes. And, yes, this week I offered to pay for dinner for him and his homecoming date in exchange for completing the Common Application by Saturday night. I am not proud, but after the excessive cajoling needed to get him to wrap-up his college essay, I felt entitled to bribery. I’m hoping he takes the bait.
That’s why I’m so happy to have Dr. Nancy Berk as my personal sounding board for all my questions on the College Admissions Process. And thanks to those of you who’ve embraced our new podcast series and made us a “New & Noteworthy” selection on iTunes.
This week, I get to pick Nancy’s brain about Finalizing the List. (Is one “safety” school enough? Or is no school really “safe?” ) And she shows off by offering up all kinds of cost cutting tips on the admissions process ( Did you know you can negotiate with the Financial Aid office?”)
Here are the links and descriptions for the two shows we posted today. Find us at iTunes or if you’re a Chaos Chronicles subscriber, no worries. you already get the show!
The College-Bound Chronicles 108: College Admissions Cost-Cutting
Lian Dolan, mother, broadcaster and host of The Chaos Chronicles.
On this episode: Saving Money on the College Search
Advice on:
Cutting costs on college visits
Saving money on test prep
Finding free coaching
Application fee waivers
Negotiating with the Financial Aid Office
Dr. Nancy Berk’s List of 5: Keeping some college cash
Direct download: cbc_108.mp3
Category:Season One — posted at: 8:03 PM
Related Links:
Helpful Test Prep Sites:
ACT.org : Free practice Tests and other online resources
Alleyoop.com : For all High School students looking for fun, interesting Math and Science Help with a “gamer” feel.
CollegeBoard.org
A complete, full service site with more than just SAT scores and free practice tests. Good advice for parents and students on everything from seelectign schools to paying for college.
Take a Virtual Tour before you spend $$ on the real thing
Free Advice from College Coaches:
The College-Bound Chronicles 109: Finalizing The List
On this episode: Saving Money on the College Search
Advice on:
Narrowing down the college search
Finding the right balance
Pros and cons of “over” and “under-applying”
Maintaining family harmony
Dr. Nancy Berk’s List of 5: Questions to maximize success
Direct download: college_bound_chronicles_109.mp3
Category:Season One — posted at: 8:49 PM
Embracing my chaos, Lian
October 22, 2012
Thanks for the T&P: An update from Pasadena
Hi, Chaos Crew…
I can’t thank you enough for all the messages and well-wishing. It has really boosted my spirits over the last week. There have been some long days and logging in and knowing that there are so many extra prayers, thoughts and good vibes out there on behalf of my mother is very energizing. Thank you all.
My mother is now at my sister Liz’s place in Santa Monica. I won’t kid you, she’s very sick. But with the help of her doctors and my sister Monica, a nurse, she’s hanging in there. This week, Sheila is the primary caregiver with Liz as back-up. There will also be additional home nursing care. My sister Monica headed back to Portland, but we’ll get another RN in. Hopefully, my mother’s strength and appetite will improve. In the meantime, I can report that my mother’s spirit is in tact. Yesterday, she looked over at my sister’s dining room table and said, “Elizabeth, straighten those candlesticks.” Way to go, Edna.
On the of the strangest aspect of having a full-scale medical emergency is that life goes on here in Pasadena. For those of you who’ve been through something life this, I know you understand that sensation of being removed from the real world by medical issues but forced to connect with the real world because that’s the way it goes. My friend Patty described the feeling as “fogginess.” It’s tempting to pour out the whole story when someone asks, ‘How’s it going?” I’m trying to compartmentalize as best as I can to care for the kids, nag my son about college applications, write my book and hold it all together. Some days, it’s tougher than other not to focus on what’s happening to my mother, even if I’m not in Santa Monica. I’m grateful to have a terrific support system here in Pasadena, great Satellite Sisters like my friend Dana who dropped off a delicious meatloaf and pasta salad at just the right time. It’s hard to put into words how meaningful gestures like that can be.
This week, I’m on stand-by for duty in Santa Monica, so I’ll be carrying on here with a new show, more College Bound Chronicles and writing. Thanks for your patience, support, T&P and meatloaf.
Embracing my Chaos, Lian
