Lian Dolan's Blog, page 23
February 12, 2013
James Joseph Dolan 1927 to 2013
On behalf of my sisters and brothers, I’m deeply saddened to announce the death of our father James Joseph Dolan. He passed away peacefully on February 11th in Dallas surrounded by his family. He was 85 years old.
My father was a participant of life, soaking in experiences, words and emotions and inviting others to join with him in the adventure. He loved Flannery O’Connor, Neil Diamond and the Clancy Brothers. He knew about philosophy and history and science. He’d zip into New York for the afternoon to see a show, buy a good tie or try a new restaurant. He started running in the 70s and never stopped moving. He saw the Taj Mahal at sunset and sailed to Europe many times. He appeared on stage at the Metropolitan Opera in Aida with Leontyne Price. (As he would say, ‘”True story.”) He was in the chorus and she was the star, but they both had their names in the program on Opening Night.
My father was storyteller of great skill and enthusiasm, playing fast and loose with the facts for the sake of a great punch line or a dramatic moment. My father never would have succeeded half so well in this age of instant fact-check and Google on every Smartphone. His tales of Glen Miller playing at his high school prom, running into Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller shopping on Christmas Eve and seeing The Beatles in Berlin before their appearance on Ed Sullivan benefitted from hyperbole and a few outright lies. But we didn’t care; we simply enjoyed the stories.
More than anything, though, my father lived his life with a generosity of spirit. Family and friends knew of his unquestioning loyalty, warmth and kindness. So did others who benefitted from his work on various organizations and boards, from the Boys and Girls Club to the Rotary Club. He was devoted to his church, serving many years as a lecture with his booming voice and to his alma mater, the College of the Holy Cross. But mainly, he was devoted to people, his people. As my cousin wrote to me this morning, “Your father was a real gentleman.
For many years, my father had a quote up in his study from W.B. Yeats:
We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us that they may see, it may be, their own images, and so live for a moment with a clearer, perhaps even with a fiercer life because of our quiet.
Still water. Beings gather. Fiercer life. I must have read it hundreds of times, trying to understand its meaning fully, but I think I might now. As any family who has been through Alzheimer’s knows, it’s a dark, twisted and terrifying journey for both the patient and the family with a mind working at million miles an hour but in all the wrong ways.
But yesterday was different, my sister Julie tells me. He was quiet. Still. No doubt beings gathered.
What a gift. And a fitting way to end his fierce life.
January 28, 2013
Welcome to Season 7 of the Chaos Chronicles Podcast!
Back in the Saddle! Change is Good! Where’s my microphone?
Click here for direct Download or find The Chaos Chronicles at iTunes or Stitcher Radio
Stay Connected in 2013. More shows, More News, More Chaos
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Join the Chaos Chronicles Page
More soon, Chaos Crew. Embracing my Chaos, Lian
January 15, 2013
Photo Essay: Jodie Foster’s Hair vs. Lian Dolan’s Hair
Maybe the next biggest story, after Jodie’s Sort Of Coming Out Speech, is the renewed attention to the fact that I, Lian Dolan, look a touch like Jodie Foster, a comparison I not only welcome, I encourage. To that end, I give you Exhibit A. My sister Julie sent me this article from the Huffington Post this morning about Jodie Foster’s Best Haircut Ever. Surprisingly, it was the same as my Best Haircut Ever. But notice the dates, People: My cut is from 1983 and Jodie’s is from 1984. Enough said.
Thank you, Julie. I feel validated in every possible way. And, I’d like to say thank you to all of you in New Haven circa 1984 who let me into bars for free, thinking I was Fat Jodie at Yale.
Jodie Foster 1984
Lian Dolan August 1983 My first day of college. This is a Polaroid, people!
And back again in 1989! More product with dramatic effect.
And yes, I texted my hairdresser Trina yesterday. I’m headed in to get the JF blunt cut.
Embracing my Chaos, Lian
January 13, 2013
Random Thoughts on the Golden Globes, Cleavage and the Possibility of Hair Plugs on Kevin Costner
This look never left his face for three hours. Scary Mel.
Ah, the Golden Globes. Last year, I was forced to watch because of ill health. But this year. I felt compelled to support Tina and Amy and the rest of The Girls. (and, ahem, the girls…) So, without further adieu….
A genuinely funny opening bit. Way to go, Amy and Tina. Perfect combo of saucy and sweet.
Funny until the shot of my doppelganger Jodie Foster next to Mel Gibson.
The Hunger Games and Life of Pi? Hahahaha. So much funnier to say it about yourself than, say, about somebody else, Ricky Gervais.
Wow-o-wow: Jennifer Garner. Rachel Weitz. Leo. Hayden Panettierre (Love Nashville. Love.) Julianne Moore.
Wah? Sienna Miller. Joaquin. The look on Mel Gibson’s face.
Oh, and then the awards start. And the winners start naming people no one cares about.
Those Modern Family folks always appear to be having a fine, fine time together, like an actual modern family.
Mr. & Ms. Golden Globe freak me out. So does Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Sorry not to see The Hour win. That show is fantastic.
Sarah Palin jokes seem tired. But cleavage seems to be very fresh this year.
Can Damian Lewis win every award? And can Paul Rudd give every award out?
I loved Argo. Granted, I’ve seen almost no other movie this year, but it’s hard for me to believe there’s a more satisfying film out there.
J-Lo, there are no words. God Bless America.
Daniel Craig high-fiving Adele? Brilliant.
Kevin Costner so close to a meaningful speech. So close.
And what do we think about the tuft of gray in front? Hair plugs? Or product?
Crying with laughter, crying, over Kristen Wiig and Will Farrell. Totally skewering Hollywood fakeness. Lighten up, Tommy Lee Jones.
Jennifer Lawrence, great speech. Very promising for the Oscars. Lena Dunham, take a lesson because I’m sure you’re going to win a boatload of awards.
I dreamed a dream… that Anne Hathaway didn’t feign surprise. But nice moment for Norma Rae.
Lucy Lui appears to have GWTW’d it. Drapes in the morning; gown by evening. Oh, Miss Scarlett.
More Hugh Jackman. Clare Danes, solid speech. Sacha Baron Cohen, just a touch of naughty.
Helena Bonham Carter, don’t ever change…. your hair.
All of these movies look so good. I should get out more.
Never funny to say someone’s name wrong, even in a bit.
How psyched am I for The Americans?
I like a good hamster joke, but…
Okay, I’m totally getting Jodie’s haircut…
But the speech is super-nutty. And somehow very moving. And, yet, very nutty.
Wow, Ben Affleck is totally nervous. Always surprises me.
30 seconds of Jay Leno reminds me why I haven’t watched him in 20 years.
I keep meaning to see Bernie.
Changed my mind. Hugh Jackman should win every award.
SO MUCH cleavage.
And finally, some texts from Sheila:
Daniel Day!!
Jeremy Irons?!!
Miss Ricky Gervais.
Your Random Thoughts?
Lian
January 5, 2013
12 More Signs You’re Ready for Season 3 of Downton Abbey
Last year’s post was such a hit– 11 Signs You’re Ready for Season 2 of Downton Abbey – that I decided to kill some time between now and the the Season Premiere of Season 3 of Downton Abbey on Sunday night and share some more signs of readiness.
You’ve turned your living room into an infirmary and are graciously accepting patients from this year’s flu epidemic.
You’ve written to the War Office on behalf of your housekeeper’s cousin’s son’s brother.
You watch the mail for your invitation to Matthew and Mary’s wedding.
You’ve adopted a yellow lab for the premiere party.
You’ve started walking with a Bastesian limp and wearing a prison jumpsuit.
You volunteered to plow your neighbor’s field with your car.
You’ve sent Sybil a wedding gift, but wonder of she’s gotten it because she’s sent no thank you note.
You’ve started to refer to your doorbell as “the Carson” and your dishwasher as “Daisy.”
You frequently tell your spouse, “You should never listen to anything I say.”
You’ve cut off all contact with your British friends because you don’t want them to spoil the whole season for you. You’re very sorry, but you simple can’t.
You sit for hours at your vanity waiting for Anna to come braid your hair.
You’re as suspicious of Shirley MacClaine’s arrival at Downton as Lady Grantham.
What signs are you showing?
Embracing my Chaos, Lian
related posts:
http://chaoschronicles.com/2012/01/07/11-signs-youre-ready-for-season-2-of-downton-abbey/
Random Thoughts on the Golden Globes.
January 2, 2013
My Motto for 2013: Change is Good
Happy New Year, Chaos Crew. It’s 2013– and not soon enough. I ended the year in fitting fashion with a nasty cold and general malaise. Is 2012 over? Apparently so, because yesterday I woke up at dawn to watch the Rose Parade and start the new year with a fresh attitude and hot chocolate. Woo-hoo!
For the last few years, I avoided resolutions and simply chosen some words to live by for the year.
Some years, I was more successful than others in carrying through. Honestly, last year’s Do The Work worked until May, then ‘the work’ took a back seat to a variety of family health issues. And sometimes that happens. I stopped beating myself up in about September and rode otu the rest of 2012 re-arranging my priorities.
In 2013, I hope to embrace the time-honored concept that Change is Good. With my mother’s death and my father’s health, my life has already changed quite a bit. My older son will be graduating from high school and (hopefully) heading off to college in the fall. My younger son will become a de facto only child and that means a new dynamic in the house. And today, on my 20th wedding anniversary (!!!!) it seems like moving forward in my marriage is more appealing than standing still. Professionally, i feel like I need a new plan. All I’m saying is things have changed, will change and probably should change. And change is good, right?
So, here’s to embracing my change in 2013. There will still be chaos, I’m sure, but I hope with a positive attitude, a lot of dog walks and yoga and appreciating all the I have, I hope to manage that chaos with courage and a sense of humor.
Embracing my Chaos, Lian
Related posts:
I resolve: Resolutions for 2012
December 26, 2012
Attention Wisconsin Badgers and Stanford Cardinal! An Insider’s Guide to the Rose Parade, Rose Bowl Game and Pasadena
Bucky Badger Rocks the Rose Parade 2012
Step aside, Santa! All Hail, Queen Vanessa! Time to move on, people, at least here in Pasadena where things really pick up as we head towards New Year’s Day. Onto the Rose Parade and the Rose Bowl Game. Welcome Wisconsin, Stanford and all you Bandies from all over.
Dr. Jane Goodall, Grand Marshall 2013 She looks like a real football fan, doesn't she?
As a public service, a few posts from years past that cover all your Parade, Game and Pasadena Insider Tips:
An Insiders Guide to the Rose Parade, the Rose Bowl and all things Pasadena
My guide to the Rose Parade from HGTV.com
Hometown Pasadena a great local website for all your food, drink, and hotel needs
and BandFest
and one more:
A Dream Come True! Rose Queen for a Day
Remember to wear your school colors, wave to the Queen, shout Happy New Year and don’t worry, it never rains on New Years Day in Pasadena!
Embrace your Chaos
December 21, 2012
Books I Enjoyed in 2012 by Lian Dolan
A short list—and probably incomplete—of the books that on my bedside table that stood out to me this year. As I was working on my own novel, you’ll see that my list happens to be all fiction and all written by women. That happens, as I tend to pick up books in my genre to fully immerse myself in the process, so in my case, that means a lot of fiction and a lot of fiction written by women. Also, when I’m writing, I find I admire books for various reasons that I might not if I were just reading for pleasure. A theme emerged in the book I liked this year: really flawed, or in some cases, unlikeable main characters that got me rooting for them anyway. That’s really tough to commit to as a writer—and really hard to pull off.
I did read books by men, but some I found very tedious. (Like The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides, a tiresome Ivy League love triangle with a doormat main character. I’m 0 for 2 with that guy, as I didn’t like Middlesex either). Or they were really books from a couple of years ago that I finally got around to ( like The Leftovers by Tom Perotta which I enjoyed because Tom Perotta is a literary crush and he can do no wrong.) I’ll admit, I didn’t read too much non-fiction. Okay, none except about Queen Elizabeth, because basically 2012 was enough personal non-fiction for me that I used my reading to escape the many hospital rooms and doctors’ waiting rooms I sat in this year. I know every loved Wild by Cheryl Strayed, but as you all know how much I hate hiking, you’ll forgive me for not reading it. I’ll wait for the Nick Hornby-scripted movie to experience Wild.
I’ve included the Amazon links– but please, visit your local bookstore over the holidays and at least buy a book or two and some fancy cocktail napkins.
And so, without further adieu…
Where’d Your Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple
A laugh- out- loud social satire about Seattle, Microsoft and the world of competitive parenting with a very compelling narrative hook. Memorable characters, edgy one liners and an unexpected ending made this my favorite book of the year. But maybe that’s because I, too, think Craftsmen homes are dreary and dark and you couldn’t pay me enough to live in one. Plus, I’m for any book where the dad gets all the public acclaim but the mother is the real genius. Semple is a TV writer (Arrested Development, Mad About You) who’s cutting humor shines through her wacky story Need a wicked laugh and a little heart strings action over the holidays? Pick up Bernadette. Buy Bernadette here.
The After Wife by Gigi Levangie Grazer
Ah, more social satire but this times the target is Santa Monica, north of Montana Ave. (or NoMo, as Grazer refers to it) Fans of Satellite Sisters will recognize Montana Ave as our mailing address and as my sister Sheila’s former neighborhood and my sister Liz’s current digs. Also, the home of Drugtown and Nail Spa Lane- so this book is a must if you want to really get on the inside of this ten-block stretch of privilege, Jennifer Garner sightings and expensive hair salons. For Grazer, this area is ripe with comedy material, like yoga butts and dog rescue fanatics. The pace of this book is breathless, sometimes I had to re-read paragraphs because the language was so rich with laughs. The story revolves around a women recovering from the sudden death of her husband who finds she has a little supernatural talent. It’s a fun twist to the usual fare. There’s comedy, romance and a very funny Gay Best Friend. It really made me laugh—and that wasn’t easy this year! Buy The After Wife here.
Those We Love the Most by Lee Woodward
Lee Woodward tries her hand at fiction (Yeah!) after writing two best-selling memoirs. She tackles a serious story about the aftermath of the death of child and the toll it takes on the parents and their extended family in Chicago. What I admire is that Woodward sets up flawed characters in a terrible circumstance and sees them through to the imperfect end of their story—very brave and real. The relationships she draws in the books ( sister to sister; husband and wife; father and daughter) are the highlights. True and well-executed. Way to go, Lee. Buy Those We Love the Most here.
The Art Forger by B.A. Shapiro
A page-turning tale that has everything: art history, romance, a fresh Boston setting, a likable, but unethical, main character and an art world mystery. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and now I feel ready to forge a Degas. An imagined ending to the real life Gardner Museum heist, Shapiro successful weaves together fact and fiction, history and present day. It’s a fun peek inside a world I didn’t really know existed. Perfect for a long weekend get-away! Too lazy to sign up for one of those Art History classes at the local community college but want to review the origins of impressionism? Pick up The Art Forger here.
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Okay, go ahead and read this one because everyone else has and eventually you’re going to learn the ending at some office holiday party and THAT would really spoil it for you. (And I know because I read this on a Kindle (first and only effort!) and somehow ending up reading the last chapter first! Not ideal for a page-turning thriller!) However outlandish the ending may be, Gone Girl does hold your attention for it’s audacity. It is fresh twist on a love story, it is cleverly plotted, and it is a book with the most unlikeable main characters you’ll ever care about. (Way to go on that one, author!) Be the last person in America to buy Gone Girl here.
Little Flower: Recipes from the Cafe by Christine Moore
Christine is a friend, a wonderful cook and shop owner and one of the nicest people in the world. Her food is out-of-this-world yummy. Comfort food for the new millennium. Her lovely little cookbook is a best-seller on Amazon and , of course, here in Pasadena, home to her wonderful shop Little Flower. And her sea-salt caramels have captured the attention of the rest of the world, named by those in the know as the best anywhere. The recipes in here are do-able and lovely. The photography is gorgeous. And if you could capture just a small percentage of the warmth that Christine brings to everything she does, you’d be a top chef at home. Buy here: http://www.amazon.com/Little-Flower-Recipes-Christine-Moore/dp/0983459487
What did you read and love this year?
Embracing my chaos, Lian
Related posts:
And to order Helen of Pasadena for your sister-in-law’s new Kindle!
December 19, 2012
The Gift of Flight in honor of the Sandy Hook Victims
From the Archives. In honor of those lost last week in Connecticut.
Last summer, a mother and father bird made a nest in the camellia bush just outside our back door. I’m no birdwatcher, but I can tell you that male was gorgeous with a black body, yellow bill and a red crest. The female? She looked exhausted, of course.
Who knows what drew the birds to this spot alongside our busy, utilitarian driveway. Was it the comforting sounds of the dryer vent? The tumbleweeds of dog hair from our molting German shepherd, perfect for a plush nest? Whatever the attraction, the birds made our bush their home, singing in the morning on a branch not six feet from where I fed the shedding dog. Mom and Dad watched the nest nonstop until the babies were born, then guarded it even more diligently as their children thrived.
The tiny chirps grew louder and stronger with every delivery of red berries. The parents communicated constantly, as they stood watch on a branch in the guava tree. Our whole family was entranced by this unfolding domestic drama. Even the dog sensed something special was happening in the camellia bush.
Perhaps I grew so attached to the little family because they represented the most basic tenets of good parenting with such a singular purpose: providing shelter, food and safety. But more likely, it was because I’d recently witnessed the helplessness of friends as they struggled with difficult situations concerning their children.
One couple who tried for years to have children, stood guard in the NICU, their babies born way too soon.
One family discovered that the many questions they have about their son could now be answered with a single phrase: Asperger’s Syndrome.
One single father faced the unthinkable, a change of course for his ill son from hopeful recovery to palliative care after the cancer returned.
When I watched the birds, I was reminded of how unrelenting a parent’s job is. And how fragile.
One morning, my husband reported that he had seen the birds take the little ones on a test flight. What a task, I thought, to teach a kid to fly.
Fittingly, on Independence Day, the entire aviary family left their nest for good. When I discovered their departure, I broke down. It hadn’t occurred to me that once the babies learned to fly, they would leave. But, of course, that’s what happens in the best of circumstances. If, as a parent, you do your job right and you’re incredibly lucky, your children will grow up and leave the nest.
Then, I thought of my friends, their children and their overwhelming challenges, and I realized that teaching our children to fly isn’t a task.
It’s a gift.
Embracing my chaos, Lian
December 16, 2012
In remembrance
Charlotte Bacon, 6
Daniel Barden, 7
Olivia Engle, 6
Josephine Gay, 7
Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
Dylan Hockley, 6
Madeleine Hsu, 6
Catherine Hubbard, 6
Chase Kowalski, 7
Jesse Lewis, 6
James Mattioli, 6
Grace McDonnell, 7
Emilie Parker, 6
Jack Pinto, 6
Noah Pozner, 6
Caroline Previdi, 6
Jessica Rekos, 6
Aveille Richman, 6
Ben Wheeler, 6
Allison Wyatt, 6
Rachel Davino, 29
Dawn Hochsprung, 47
Nancy Lanza, 52
Anne Marie Murphy, 52
Lauren Rousseau. 30
Mary Sherlach, 56
Victoria Soto, 27
