Steven Harper's Blog, page 65

June 17, 2018

Darwin and Sienna


Yesterday, Darwin took me to Adrian. Such a romantic getaway!

Actually, one of the people in his office was having a party, and she lives in Adrian. It's a LONG drive--90 minutes each way. (Darwin later admitted that if he'd realized how long the drive was going to be, he probably would have turned the invitation down.) But we bundled ourselves into the car and headed out!

The weather started off awful--thunderstorms and cloud bursts. But then it suddenly cleared and turned sunny and warm but not too hot. And not humid. A perfect Michigan summer day!

The party house was out in the country and I only knew a couple of people, including the guest of honor. So the party was a lot of standing around making conversation with strangers. But they were very nice people, and there was cake.

Afterward, Darwin wanted to stop at Sienna Heights University, his alma mater, and which he hadn't visited for nearly 30 years. This sounded interesting to me--walking through the places where Baby Darwin was first entering the adult world.

It was a great deal of fun. The university was closed for the summer, but (as I learned from my time at Seton Hill University) Catholic schools never lock anything, and security is nonexistent. We were able to get into nearly everything we wanted. Darwin was able to get into his old dorm room and the dining hall and the academic halls. In one big, echoing chamber is a statue everyone calls "Touchdown Jesus" because of the gesture he's making:




It was fun to see all these places and watch Darwin re-see them through the eyes of a full adult.  When you're 18, you don't often look at the details of the places around you and figure out what they mean.  Darwin learned a number of things about Sienna now that he could see it as an adult, and it was fun to share that with him.

We got some lunch, and then drove home on the route Darwin used to drive when he was young.  More memory lane for him.  It was a perfect day for driving, with the sunny, warm air rushing through the car windows.  At one point, I saw a sign for eggs and made Darwin stop.  I bought two dozen eggs that had been laid only that morning.  Nice!

And we finally arrived back home.  It was a fine day.




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Published on June 17, 2018 09:22

End of Year 2018

This year, the end of the school year went . . . slow . . . ly.

My seniors (four sections of them) all graduated the week after Memorial Day.  This left me with a single section of freshmen to teach for two weeks and give exams to.  Teach only one class for three weeks?  Score!

I was looking forward to getting a lot of stuff done.  Research new curriculum!  Modify lesson plans that hadn't worked!  Revamp old material! 

And then, the first day, I got sick.  A cold.  A bad cold.  I was miserable.  And exhausted.  I went in every day and slept in my classroom.  I even brought in a pillow and a camping mattress I could roll up and stash in the cupboard for the hour I was teaching.  It was awful.  I couldn't call in sick--all my sick days went to hospital stays this last year.  In fact, I spent the rest of the year paranoid about getting sick, because if I stayed home, I'd get docked.  And when you get docked, it's for a LOT of money.

I suppose if I had to get sick, this was the perfect time for it.  I only had to rouse myself enough to teach one class of very nice freshmen, and then I could go back to dozing.  But it sucked because all the stuff I'd been planning to do went undone.

After a full week, the cold finally let up and I was feeling normal just in time for exam week.  Exams are half days, with two exams per day.  Afternoons, the students go home to study (ha!) while the teachers grade piles of papers.  I had several days completely to myself here, since I had just one exam to give on Wednesday.

So I cleaned my classroom.

I mean, seriously cleaned it.  I have three storage cabinets and a filing cabinet chock-full of the detritus of 24 years of teaching, and I hadn't gone through it all in decades. 

The filing cabinet went first.  I saw quickly that 90% of the stuff in there was either 1) outdated and useless or 2) already scanned to my computer network as a PDF.  So almost all of it went into the recycling.  I had five paper boxes worth!  I also came across my file of thank-yous, little notes and cards from students I've gotten over the years.  "You changed my life."  "I'm so glad I had you for my teacher."  "I hated English until I had you."  Those I kept.

Next day, I tackled the storage cabinets.  The fact that I had video and cassette tapes in there should tell you how long it's been!  I tossed everything I hadn't used in three years.  It took three trips to the dumpster!  Then I rearranged everything so it was easier to find and access what I needed.

And then I washed down all the surfaces.  The custodians never, ever dust.  Nor do they wipe down the tables.  A classroom gets dirty really fast when you have 160 students using it every day, but budget cuts have resulted in a tiny custodial staff that just empties the wastebaskets and cleans the floor.  When I started teaching, custodians cleaned the desks and windowsill and washed the blackboards every day.  If you wanted to keep something on the board, you had to write SAVE next to it, or it would be gone in the morning.  No more.  Now my room gets grimier and grimier.  I cleaned everything, and the room smelled of bleach disinfectant when I was done. 

I also cleaned out my desk drawers, tossing all the junk I wouldn't use.  I have a warehouse-class pile of classroom supplies in my desk, and digging through it was a revelation.  So many boxes of pencils!  And look--two whole boxes of staples!  This took considerable time to reorganize.

And then I was done with the cleaning.  My freshmen arrived and took the exam, a single long essay.  I graded them, sent out a final "Enjoy your summer!" message to them on Remind, and closed out my classroom.  Friday morning, I turned in my keys at check-out, and I was done!

This was overall a nasty, shitty year, and I'm glad to see it end.  This is solely because of the five months of on-off stress, misery, and pain from the kidney stones.  My bank of sick days is gone, and I have to build it up again.  I lived in a state of anxiety for weeks and weeks and weeks, and worked hard to hide it from my students. 

But it was good year for students.  My fourth hour was difficult, but far from the worst I've had.  My media literacy class was small, and it was nice to have a quiet little group at the end of the school day.  My freshmen were total sweeties and were fun to teach.

And now we have the long, empty summer days to rest!

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Published on June 17, 2018 08:37

June 15, 2018

Advice Repeats

Check this out:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/ask-amy-alcoholic-friend-should-abstain-from-camping/2018/06/13/7c1dc328-6797-11e8-9e38-24e693b38637_story.html
and
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-how-to-show-solidarity-with-a-recovering-alcoholic/2018/06/14/3ebf8788-6b56-11e8-bf8c-f9ed2e672adf_story.html
Both advice columnists are running the exact same letter, word for word! Clearly someone sent the letter to both of them (probably figuring only one would print it, if either of them did), and cha-ching! Not only did they both run the letter, they ran them ON THE SAME DAY!


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Published on June 15, 2018 17:11

stevenpiziks @ 2018-06-15T20:10:00

Check this out:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/ask-amy-alcoholic-friend-should-abstain-from-camping/2018/06/13/7c1dc328-6797-11e8-9e38-24e693b38637_story.html
and
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-how-to-show-solidarity-with-a-recovering-alcoholic/2018/06/14/3ebf8788-6b56-11e8-bf8c-f9ed2e672adf_story.html
Both advice columnists are running the exact same letter, word for word! Clearly someone sent the letter to both of them (probably figuring only one would print it, if either of them did), and cha-ching! Not only did they both run the letter, they ran them ON THE SAME DAY!


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Published on June 15, 2018 17:11

June 14, 2018

The Best!

Today we have the best part of summer break: the beginning!

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Published on June 14, 2018 09:10

June 4, 2018

EMDR and Me

My therapy was stalling out with Lenny.  It was a lot of me repeating stuff and spinning my wheels.  My mental health was overall better, but I still got hit with crippling anxiety attacks two days out of three, and I couldn't seem to let go of the trauma I'd suffered over weeks of pain and operations.  Lenny and I talked about this, including the fact that one session with my sister and her horse-based gestalt therapy seemed to jolt me forward more than weeks of talk therapy.  Lenny said that it was likely I needed to be more physical with my therapy, but Lenny wasn't experienced with that sort of thing.  He put out the idea of me seeing a therapist for EMDR.

An Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapist has a PTSD patient track lights with just their eyes (no head movement) while thinking or talking about the traumatic experiences.  The short version is that trauma is first realized in the right (emotional) side of the brain, and we normally deal with it by bringing the sensation over the left (logical) side of the brain, which allows us to say, "It happened and it was bad, but it's over and we don't need to worry about it anymore."  In PTSD patients (like me), the trauma gets stuck on the right side and can't migrate to the left, which causes anxiety.  The EMDR process helps engage both sides of the brain while recalling trauma, which allows the patient to settle it.

Lenny gave me the name of an EMDR therapist, and I went to two sessions--one "get to know you" session and one actual EMDR session. 

I have to say I was skeptical.  I'd done a lot of reading and research, all of which supported EMDR as valid, but in actual practice, EMDR comes across as crystals and copper bracelets.  Until you start crying out of nowhere during the session, and you emerge from it with a feeling of euphoria that lasts for several days (and makes you figure out how to put mirror glaze on cakes), and you realize your anxiety levels have dropped sharply.  After just one session.

So I'm going back again.




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Published on June 04, 2018 19:17

The Last Doctor Visit

Last Friday, I finally got in to see the urologist.  This was actually quite a feat.

Regular readers of this blog know about the major problems I had with kidney stones, problems that involved multiple operations with multiple urologists.  For my latest procedure, I saw a new urologist who was closer to my house, but who I realized I didn't like very much.  He--or his office--successfully performed a lithotripsy on me and said I should call to schedule a follow-up appointment.  I never did, and they never called me, either.  The breakup was mutual.

Instead, I went back to Dr. L--, who is nearly an hour away but who I like.  If I'm going to deal with this shit, at least it's going to be with someone I feel comfortable with.  I made an appointment so Dr. L-- could do the follow-up, but . . .

It turned out Dr. L-- had medical problems of his own and finally had to go in for major surgery.  All his appointments, including mine, were rescheduled for six weeks later.  Okay, I can deal.  I only get little twinges of pain, and this is only a follow-up, so no biggie.  When the rescheduled appointment came near, however, Dr. L--'s office called.  He was still recovering, and could only see a few patients a day.  So we had to push my appointment out further, to early June.

Well, that was all right.  Still no major pain, and I needed to be on an annual schedule anyway.  Every year, I need to be checked for stones, probably for the Rest of My Life, and its best if this happens in June.  That way, if we find anything scary, I can have it taken care of over the summer, when it won't wipe out my sick days.

And so Friday arrived, with no more delayed appointments.

Here was where I discovered my blood pressure had gone down.  It was 116 over 63.  My heart rate was in the low fifties, as usual.  Dr. L-- ordered an in-house x-ray for me, then walked carefully into the exam room to go over it with me.

While he was calling it up, I asked him about his own surgery.  He seemed to appreciate being asked, and said that it had alleviated a long of long-term pain that had been getting worse and worse without him realizing how bad it was until it sent him to the hospital.  Even doctors avoid going to the doctor!  I asked him if he was a bad patient.  "Teachers make the worst students, and doctors make the worst patients," I said.

He laughed and admitted he was a Bad Patient early on, but got better.  :)

By now, he'd called up my x-ray.  Two tiny specks showed up, one on each side.  Dr. L-- said they could explain the twinges, but they weren't big enough to really block anything or go after with more lithotripsy.  And so I'm good for another year.

Yay!

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Published on June 04, 2018 19:02

The Gym

It was inevitable, I suppose.  Darwin and I have joined a gym.

It was actually something of a surprise.  Max had been talking about how he wanted to get stronger (for his cadet work), and although I run a lot and am pretty fit (my blood pressure and heart rate are nicely low), I don't have much upper body strength.  So I mentioned to Max that maybe he and I could join a gym and work out together.  He liked this idea.

I put it to Darwin as well, mostly to be inclusive.  I didn't think Darwin would be interested.  To my surprise, he agreed with enthusiasm.

There's a gym only five minutes away from our house, so off we all went.

Darwin has some problems with the muscles in his back being painfully tight and causing him tension headaches.  He also can't raise his arms all the way above his head.  In an attempt to alleviate this problem, he explored the roomful of stretching equipment.  He and I worked out which machines and exercises would stretch out his back and shoulder muscles, and Darwin is already seeing results.  His back doesn't hurt as much, and he can raise his arms much higher.  He also says he feels guilty if he doesn't go daily, so he's been going, which is great!

I'm working on ab and pec machines.  I hate these machines.  They're mean and cruel.  But I keep going back. 

We're still working out what kind of workouts to do.  Often, I don't feel like I've had a full workout, so when I get home, I get on the treadmill for half an hour anyway.  (I can run at the gym, of course, but I'm stuck with whatever they put on TV, so I'd rather use my own treadmill.)

We'll see how this goes!

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Published on June 04, 2018 18:49

A Meeting with Facetime

Aran is now working at the MotorCity Casino.  This came about unexpectedly fast.  He was sort-of working with the Autism Alliance of Michigan to find a new job, but nothing came of it, and I'd almost forgotten about them. Out of the blue, they called Aran, arranged an interview for him with the casino for janitorial work, and he got the job.  (!)  It all happened before I even heard a word about it!  He went through training there and the AAM provides a job coach for him until he's experienced enough to work on his own. 

A few days ago, they AAM called me.  They needed to hold a meeting with Aran about the job, and they wanted me to give input.  Unfortunately, the meeting was in Southfield (30-45 minutes away) at 3:30, and I needed to be in Ypsilanti by early evening the same day.  It simply wasn't feasible for me to drive to Southfield, then all the way to Ypsilanti, and then back home.  I thought about this, and then realized I was overlooking an obvious solution.

I asked the meeting coordinators if they'd be okay with me being there on Aran's phone with Facetime.  It was fine with them.  Technology to the rescue!

When Aran arrived at the building, I called his phone on Facetime and he propped it up on the table.  Ta da!

It made for a strange meeting, though.  It felt like I was watching a video on YouTube, and I had to remind myself that I could speak.  It was strange for the coordinators, too.  They talked to Aran most of the time and often forgot to address my image on the phone.  Whenever I spoke, they whipped their heads around to look at "me." The connection stammered and stuttered several times, too, and I had to concentrate hard to work out from the fragments what they were talking about, but overall it went very well.  It also saved me an arduous drive!




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Published on June 04, 2018 18:42

Max and the Car

Last weekend, we decided to get a car for Max.  A part of it was convenience for us.  Max is getting busier with being a cadet and working and expanding his social life, and it's difficult for my car to be gone so much.  And a part of it is that he's shown himself as motivated and responsible.  He has to pay his share of the insurance and make half the car payments.

Last Friday, Darwin wasn't working, so he took Max car shopping.  After some wrangling, they settled on a 2003 Ford Escape XLT that had only 75,000 miles on it.  Darwin, a hard bargainer, got the dealer to knock $1,000 off the price.  We did a lot of fast-paced paperwork at the credit union, and Saturday we picked up the car.

Unfortunately, Max was at his mother's that weekend.  (He drives--drove--my car down there, which is one of the many reasons we wanted another car.)  When we told him we had it Escape, he persuaded Kala to bring him back up so he could get it:



He's very pleased.




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Published on June 04, 2018 18:30