Steven Harper's Blog, page 64
June 15, 2018
stevenpiziks @ 2018-06-15T20:10:00
Check this out:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/ask-amy-alcoholic-friend-should-abstain-from-camping/2018/06/13/7c1dc328-6797-11e8-9e38-24e693b38637_story.html
and
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-how-to-show-solidarity-with-a-recovering-alcoholic/2018/06/14/3ebf8788-6b56-11e8-bf8c-f9ed2e672adf_story.html
Both advice columnists are running the exact same letter, word for word! Clearly someone sent the letter to both of them (probably figuring only one would print it, if either of them did), and cha-ching! Not only did they both run the letter, they ran them ON THE SAME DAY!
comments
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/ask-amy-alcoholic-friend-should-abstain-from-camping/2018/06/13/7c1dc328-6797-11e8-9e38-24e693b38637_story.html
and
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-how-to-show-solidarity-with-a-recovering-alcoholic/2018/06/14/3ebf8788-6b56-11e8-bf8c-f9ed2e672adf_story.html
Both advice columnists are running the exact same letter, word for word! Clearly someone sent the letter to both of them (probably figuring only one would print it, if either of them did), and cha-ching! Not only did they both run the letter, they ran them ON THE SAME DAY!
comments
June 14, 2018
The Best!
Today we have the best part of summer break: the beginning!
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June 4, 2018
EMDR and Me
My therapy was stalling out with Lenny. It was a lot of me repeating stuff and spinning my wheels. My mental health was overall better, but I still got hit with crippling anxiety attacks two days out of three, and I couldn't seem to let go of the trauma I'd suffered over weeks of pain and operations. Lenny and I talked about this, including the fact that one session with my sister and her horse-based gestalt therapy seemed to jolt me forward more than weeks of talk therapy. Lenny said that it was likely I needed to be more physical with my therapy, but Lenny wasn't experienced with that sort of thing. He put out the idea of me seeing a therapist for EMDR.
An Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapist has a PTSD patient track lights with just their eyes (no head movement) while thinking or talking about the traumatic experiences. The short version is that trauma is first realized in the right (emotional) side of the brain, and we normally deal with it by bringing the sensation over the left (logical) side of the brain, which allows us to say, "It happened and it was bad, but it's over and we don't need to worry about it anymore." In PTSD patients (like me), the trauma gets stuck on the right side and can't migrate to the left, which causes anxiety. The EMDR process helps engage both sides of the brain while recalling trauma, which allows the patient to settle it.
Lenny gave me the name of an EMDR therapist, and I went to two sessions--one "get to know you" session and one actual EMDR session.
I have to say I was skeptical. I'd done a lot of reading and research, all of which supported EMDR as valid, but in actual practice, EMDR comes across as crystals and copper bracelets. Until you start crying out of nowhere during the session, and you emerge from it with a feeling of euphoria that lasts for several days (and makes you figure out how to put mirror glaze on cakes), and you realize your anxiety levels have dropped sharply. After just one session.
So I'm going back again.
comments
An Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapist has a PTSD patient track lights with just their eyes (no head movement) while thinking or talking about the traumatic experiences. The short version is that trauma is first realized in the right (emotional) side of the brain, and we normally deal with it by bringing the sensation over the left (logical) side of the brain, which allows us to say, "It happened and it was bad, but it's over and we don't need to worry about it anymore." In PTSD patients (like me), the trauma gets stuck on the right side and can't migrate to the left, which causes anxiety. The EMDR process helps engage both sides of the brain while recalling trauma, which allows the patient to settle it.
Lenny gave me the name of an EMDR therapist, and I went to two sessions--one "get to know you" session and one actual EMDR session.
I have to say I was skeptical. I'd done a lot of reading and research, all of which supported EMDR as valid, but in actual practice, EMDR comes across as crystals and copper bracelets. Until you start crying out of nowhere during the session, and you emerge from it with a feeling of euphoria that lasts for several days (and makes you figure out how to put mirror glaze on cakes), and you realize your anxiety levels have dropped sharply. After just one session.
So I'm going back again.
comments
The Last Doctor Visit
Last Friday, I finally got in to see the urologist. This was actually quite a feat.
Regular readers of this blog know about the major problems I had with kidney stones, problems that involved multiple operations with multiple urologists. For my latest procedure, I saw a new urologist who was closer to my house, but who I realized I didn't like very much. He--or his office--successfully performed a lithotripsy on me and said I should call to schedule a follow-up appointment. I never did, and they never called me, either. The breakup was mutual.
Instead, I went back to Dr. L--, who is nearly an hour away but who I like. If I'm going to deal with this shit, at least it's going to be with someone I feel comfortable with. I made an appointment so Dr. L-- could do the follow-up, but . . .
It turned out Dr. L-- had medical problems of his own and finally had to go in for major surgery. All his appointments, including mine, were rescheduled for six weeks later. Okay, I can deal. I only get little twinges of pain, and this is only a follow-up, so no biggie. When the rescheduled appointment came near, however, Dr. L--'s office called. He was still recovering, and could only see a few patients a day. So we had to push my appointment out further, to early June.
Well, that was all right. Still no major pain, and I needed to be on an annual schedule anyway. Every year, I need to be checked for stones, probably for the Rest of My Life, and its best if this happens in June. That way, if we find anything scary, I can have it taken care of over the summer, when it won't wipe out my sick days.
And so Friday arrived, with no more delayed appointments.
Here was where I discovered my blood pressure had gone down. It was 116 over 63. My heart rate was in the low fifties, as usual. Dr. L-- ordered an in-house x-ray for me, then walked carefully into the exam room to go over it with me.
While he was calling it up, I asked him about his own surgery. He seemed to appreciate being asked, and said that it had alleviated a long of long-term pain that had been getting worse and worse without him realizing how bad it was until it sent him to the hospital. Even doctors avoid going to the doctor! I asked him if he was a bad patient. "Teachers make the worst students, and doctors make the worst patients," I said.
He laughed and admitted he was a Bad Patient early on, but got better. :)
By now, he'd called up my x-ray. Two tiny specks showed up, one on each side. Dr. L-- said they could explain the twinges, but they weren't big enough to really block anything or go after with more lithotripsy. And so I'm good for another year.
Yay!
comments
Regular readers of this blog know about the major problems I had with kidney stones, problems that involved multiple operations with multiple urologists. For my latest procedure, I saw a new urologist who was closer to my house, but who I realized I didn't like very much. He--or his office--successfully performed a lithotripsy on me and said I should call to schedule a follow-up appointment. I never did, and they never called me, either. The breakup was mutual.
Instead, I went back to Dr. L--, who is nearly an hour away but who I like. If I'm going to deal with this shit, at least it's going to be with someone I feel comfortable with. I made an appointment so Dr. L-- could do the follow-up, but . . .
It turned out Dr. L-- had medical problems of his own and finally had to go in for major surgery. All his appointments, including mine, were rescheduled for six weeks later. Okay, I can deal. I only get little twinges of pain, and this is only a follow-up, so no biggie. When the rescheduled appointment came near, however, Dr. L--'s office called. He was still recovering, and could only see a few patients a day. So we had to push my appointment out further, to early June.
Well, that was all right. Still no major pain, and I needed to be on an annual schedule anyway. Every year, I need to be checked for stones, probably for the Rest of My Life, and its best if this happens in June. That way, if we find anything scary, I can have it taken care of over the summer, when it won't wipe out my sick days.
And so Friday arrived, with no more delayed appointments.
Here was where I discovered my blood pressure had gone down. It was 116 over 63. My heart rate was in the low fifties, as usual. Dr. L-- ordered an in-house x-ray for me, then walked carefully into the exam room to go over it with me.
While he was calling it up, I asked him about his own surgery. He seemed to appreciate being asked, and said that it had alleviated a long of long-term pain that had been getting worse and worse without him realizing how bad it was until it sent him to the hospital. Even doctors avoid going to the doctor! I asked him if he was a bad patient. "Teachers make the worst students, and doctors make the worst patients," I said.
He laughed and admitted he was a Bad Patient early on, but got better. :)
By now, he'd called up my x-ray. Two tiny specks showed up, one on each side. Dr. L-- said they could explain the twinges, but they weren't big enough to really block anything or go after with more lithotripsy. And so I'm good for another year.
Yay!
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The Gym
It was inevitable, I suppose. Darwin and I have joined a gym.
It was actually something of a surprise. Max had been talking about how he wanted to get stronger (for his cadet work), and although I run a lot and am pretty fit (my blood pressure and heart rate are nicely low), I don't have much upper body strength. So I mentioned to Max that maybe he and I could join a gym and work out together. He liked this idea.
I put it to Darwin as well, mostly to be inclusive. I didn't think Darwin would be interested. To my surprise, he agreed with enthusiasm.
There's a gym only five minutes away from our house, so off we all went.
Darwin has some problems with the muscles in his back being painfully tight and causing him tension headaches. He also can't raise his arms all the way above his head. In an attempt to alleviate this problem, he explored the roomful of stretching equipment. He and I worked out which machines and exercises would stretch out his back and shoulder muscles, and Darwin is already seeing results. His back doesn't hurt as much, and he can raise his arms much higher. He also says he feels guilty if he doesn't go daily, so he's been going, which is great!
I'm working on ab and pec machines. I hate these machines. They're mean and cruel. But I keep going back.
We're still working out what kind of workouts to do. Often, I don't feel like I've had a full workout, so when I get home, I get on the treadmill for half an hour anyway. (I can run at the gym, of course, but I'm stuck with whatever they put on TV, so I'd rather use my own treadmill.)
We'll see how this goes!
comments
It was actually something of a surprise. Max had been talking about how he wanted to get stronger (for his cadet work), and although I run a lot and am pretty fit (my blood pressure and heart rate are nicely low), I don't have much upper body strength. So I mentioned to Max that maybe he and I could join a gym and work out together. He liked this idea.
I put it to Darwin as well, mostly to be inclusive. I didn't think Darwin would be interested. To my surprise, he agreed with enthusiasm.
There's a gym only five minutes away from our house, so off we all went.
Darwin has some problems with the muscles in his back being painfully tight and causing him tension headaches. He also can't raise his arms all the way above his head. In an attempt to alleviate this problem, he explored the roomful of stretching equipment. He and I worked out which machines and exercises would stretch out his back and shoulder muscles, and Darwin is already seeing results. His back doesn't hurt as much, and he can raise his arms much higher. He also says he feels guilty if he doesn't go daily, so he's been going, which is great!
I'm working on ab and pec machines. I hate these machines. They're mean and cruel. But I keep going back.
We're still working out what kind of workouts to do. Often, I don't feel like I've had a full workout, so when I get home, I get on the treadmill for half an hour anyway. (I can run at the gym, of course, but I'm stuck with whatever they put on TV, so I'd rather use my own treadmill.)
We'll see how this goes!
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A Meeting with Facetime
Aran is now working at the MotorCity Casino. This came about unexpectedly fast. He was sort-of working with the Autism Alliance of Michigan to find a new job, but nothing came of it, and I'd almost forgotten about them. Out of the blue, they called Aran, arranged an interview for him with the casino for janitorial work, and he got the job. (!) It all happened before I even heard a word about it! He went through training there and the AAM provides a job coach for him until he's experienced enough to work on his own.
A few days ago, they AAM called me. They needed to hold a meeting with Aran about the job, and they wanted me to give input. Unfortunately, the meeting was in Southfield (30-45 minutes away) at 3:30, and I needed to be in Ypsilanti by early evening the same day. It simply wasn't feasible for me to drive to Southfield, then all the way to Ypsilanti, and then back home. I thought about this, and then realized I was overlooking an obvious solution.
I asked the meeting coordinators if they'd be okay with me being there on Aran's phone with Facetime. It was fine with them. Technology to the rescue!
When Aran arrived at the building, I called his phone on Facetime and he propped it up on the table. Ta da!
It made for a strange meeting, though. It felt like I was watching a video on YouTube, and I had to remind myself that I could speak. It was strange for the coordinators, too. They talked to Aran most of the time and often forgot to address my image on the phone. Whenever I spoke, they whipped their heads around to look at "me." The connection stammered and stuttered several times, too, and I had to concentrate hard to work out from the fragments what they were talking about, but overall it went very well. It also saved me an arduous drive!
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A few days ago, they AAM called me. They needed to hold a meeting with Aran about the job, and they wanted me to give input. Unfortunately, the meeting was in Southfield (30-45 minutes away) at 3:30, and I needed to be in Ypsilanti by early evening the same day. It simply wasn't feasible for me to drive to Southfield, then all the way to Ypsilanti, and then back home. I thought about this, and then realized I was overlooking an obvious solution.
I asked the meeting coordinators if they'd be okay with me being there on Aran's phone with Facetime. It was fine with them. Technology to the rescue!
When Aran arrived at the building, I called his phone on Facetime and he propped it up on the table. Ta da!
It made for a strange meeting, though. It felt like I was watching a video on YouTube, and I had to remind myself that I could speak. It was strange for the coordinators, too. They talked to Aran most of the time and often forgot to address my image on the phone. Whenever I spoke, they whipped their heads around to look at "me." The connection stammered and stuttered several times, too, and I had to concentrate hard to work out from the fragments what they were talking about, but overall it went very well. It also saved me an arduous drive!
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Max and the Car
Last weekend, we decided to get a car for Max. A part of it was convenience for us. Max is getting busier with being a cadet and working and expanding his social life, and it's difficult for my car to be gone so much. And a part of it is that he's shown himself as motivated and responsible. He has to pay his share of the insurance and make half the car payments.
Last Friday, Darwin wasn't working, so he took Max car shopping. After some wrangling, they settled on a 2003 Ford Escape XLT that had only 75,000 miles on it. Darwin, a hard bargainer, got the dealer to knock $1,000 off the price. We did a lot of fast-paced paperwork at the credit union, and Saturday we picked up the car.
Unfortunately, Max was at his mother's that weekend. (He drives--drove--my car down there, which is one of the many reasons we wanted another car.) When we told him we had it Escape, he persuaded Kala to bring him back up so he could get it:
He's very pleased.
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Last Friday, Darwin wasn't working, so he took Max car shopping. After some wrangling, they settled on a 2003 Ford Escape XLT that had only 75,000 miles on it. Darwin, a hard bargainer, got the dealer to knock $1,000 off the price. We did a lot of fast-paced paperwork at the credit union, and Saturday we picked up the car.
Unfortunately, Max was at his mother's that weekend. (He drives--drove--my car down there, which is one of the many reasons we wanted another car.) When we told him we had it Escape, he persuaded Kala to bring him back up so he could get it:
He's very pleased.
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June 2, 2018
How Distractible Are You?
Just now, I realized I needed my glasses. I knew they were in my briefcase, so I went to fetch them. Inside my briefcase, I found my lunch bag and a water bottle, which I hadn't put away from Friday. I emptied both out, put them into the kitchen, and came back to my computer. Only then did I realize I hadn't gotten glasses.
How often to you get distracted and forgetful by something related to your original task?
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How often to you get distracted and forgetful by something related to your original task?
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May 27, 2018
Memorial Day Puttering
Memorial Day weekend has so far been dedicated to puttering around the house.
Max was marching in a Memorial Day parade on Saturday, so he had to get up early to leave. (Ah, the advantages of a teen who can drive himself!) Darwin and I slept later and drove down on our own. After some finagling, we found a spot toward the middle of the parade route and watched from a grassy curb. The weather was cloudy and warm, perfect for parades, really. We all think we want bright sun for parades, but it would have been scorching! So we were glad for the clouds. The parade was the usual mix of firefighters and police and school bands and local politicians. The crowd was light, and the parade marchers kept throwing candy at us. We had a respectable pile of it when everything was done. Max finally came past, and handed out sheriff stickers. We were very proud, and didn't embarrass him, but I did take photos--he couldn't stop me!
Back home, I had put ribs in the Crock pot for an early supper (with a wine and mustard marinade), and they came out succulent and delicious. We had them with corn on the cob and cold watermelon. I tried and failed a mirror glaze cake, but will try again.
Our lawn guy leveled the bushes on the west side of our front porch. Oh, I was unhappy! I wanted them trimmed, not buzzed. The bushes wrapped around the porch, keeping it shady and cool all day long. Now it gets sunny and hot out there in late afternoon. The bushes will grow back, but it'll be a while. I poured fertilizer on them to speed the process.
The new sunniness also crisped the low-light potted plants I'd hung from the beams. I rushed them into the shade when I noticed the new sunlight and watered them copiously. They've since recovered, thank goodness. I swapped in some plants that like a little more light, and they're doing all right now.
Sunday was sunny and hot, hot, HOT. We turned on the AC right after breakfast. Good thing. You could cook a roast out there.
I bought more plants, this time for the back deck and the altar. I also bought a fountain for my front porch office. It's a set of Greek urns that cascade water from one to another in a series. I like the sound of the water, and it'll make my summer office that much more tranquil.
Max, meanwhile, is starting a new job at a fast food restaurant. (His previous job at the ice cream store was proving less and less tenable, thanks to an increasingly difficult owner.) For this, he needed work shoes, so we went down to the local super store to find some. I also got myself a few items of summer wear and some hardware stuff.
Back home, we shifted into yard puttering. I installed plants around the back yard and distributed water and fertilizer while Darwin repaired a broken hose (hardware stuff) and cut out dead sections of the rose bushes.
Boy, do we have chipmunks! Their burrows are everywhere around our house. I think it's because we're the only ones in the neighborhood who don't try to kill them. They don't bother me, really, and their chittering reminds me of camping trips we took when I was young, so they can stay.
For supper, I grilled T-bone steaks and served them with cheese potatoes and cucumber salad. They were perfection!
It's been a fine Memorial Day weekend.
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Max was marching in a Memorial Day parade on Saturday, so he had to get up early to leave. (Ah, the advantages of a teen who can drive himself!) Darwin and I slept later and drove down on our own. After some finagling, we found a spot toward the middle of the parade route and watched from a grassy curb. The weather was cloudy and warm, perfect for parades, really. We all think we want bright sun for parades, but it would have been scorching! So we were glad for the clouds. The parade was the usual mix of firefighters and police and school bands and local politicians. The crowd was light, and the parade marchers kept throwing candy at us. We had a respectable pile of it when everything was done. Max finally came past, and handed out sheriff stickers. We were very proud, and didn't embarrass him, but I did take photos--he couldn't stop me!
Back home, I had put ribs in the Crock pot for an early supper (with a wine and mustard marinade), and they came out succulent and delicious. We had them with corn on the cob and cold watermelon. I tried and failed a mirror glaze cake, but will try again.
Our lawn guy leveled the bushes on the west side of our front porch. Oh, I was unhappy! I wanted them trimmed, not buzzed. The bushes wrapped around the porch, keeping it shady and cool all day long. Now it gets sunny and hot out there in late afternoon. The bushes will grow back, but it'll be a while. I poured fertilizer on them to speed the process.
The new sunniness also crisped the low-light potted plants I'd hung from the beams. I rushed them into the shade when I noticed the new sunlight and watered them copiously. They've since recovered, thank goodness. I swapped in some plants that like a little more light, and they're doing all right now.
Sunday was sunny and hot, hot, HOT. We turned on the AC right after breakfast. Good thing. You could cook a roast out there.
I bought more plants, this time for the back deck and the altar. I also bought a fountain for my front porch office. It's a set of Greek urns that cascade water from one to another in a series. I like the sound of the water, and it'll make my summer office that much more tranquil.
Max, meanwhile, is starting a new job at a fast food restaurant. (His previous job at the ice cream store was proving less and less tenable, thanks to an increasingly difficult owner.) For this, he needed work shoes, so we went down to the local super store to find some. I also got myself a few items of summer wear and some hardware stuff.
Back home, we shifted into yard puttering. I installed plants around the back yard and distributed water and fertilizer while Darwin repaired a broken hose (hardware stuff) and cut out dead sections of the rose bushes.
Boy, do we have chipmunks! Their burrows are everywhere around our house. I think it's because we're the only ones in the neighborhood who don't try to kill them. They don't bother me, really, and their chittering reminds me of camping trips we took when I was young, so they can stay.
For supper, I grilled T-bone steaks and served them with cheese potatoes and cucumber salad. They were perfection!
It's been a fine Memorial Day weekend.
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May 26, 2018
Mirror Cake, First Attempt
It was a fail!
I made the glaze strictly according to the recipe I had, colored it purple, cooled it to the exact temperature required, and got one of the cakes from the freezer. I chose one of the plain lemon cakes. I didn't want to use the mousse cake for my first attempt. I set the lemon cake on a stand, then poured the glaze over it and swiped it with an off-set spatula smeared with red food coloring to create a nice design. It seemed to work perfectly!
At first.
Fairly quickly, the glaze ran over the sides and also got sucked into the cake itself. The glaze is =supposed= to run over the sides, but it's supposed to harden, not soak in. That's why the cake is frozen first. The recipe very clearly says that mousse cakes worked best, but =any= kind of cake would do. Well, clearly not. The results were edible, but not at all mirrored--or even pretty. The white chocolate and condensed milk soaked straight into the sponge of the cake. I tasted it to see what it was like, and it reminded me of a Tres Leches Cake. Very good, but without the desired effect.
I wondered if I'd made the glaze wrong, so I tested it. I dipped a finger in it and let the glaze run off. The glaze behaved exactly as it was supposed to, forming a thick mirror coating on my finger, with drips that solidified like icicles down the side, despite the fact that my finger wasn't frozen, or even cold. So I'd done the glaze right.
I decided it must have been the absorbancy of the cake. Clearly you have to do have a cake encased in mousse or ice cream or frozen whipped cream or something non-absorbent. Even a frozen sponge-style cake will absorb the glaze. Okay, then! Next time, we'll try the mousse cake.
Meanwhile, I have a tasty-but-ugly cake in the fridge . . .
comments
I made the glaze strictly according to the recipe I had, colored it purple, cooled it to the exact temperature required, and got one of the cakes from the freezer. I chose one of the plain lemon cakes. I didn't want to use the mousse cake for my first attempt. I set the lemon cake on a stand, then poured the glaze over it and swiped it with an off-set spatula smeared with red food coloring to create a nice design. It seemed to work perfectly!
At first.
Fairly quickly, the glaze ran over the sides and also got sucked into the cake itself. The glaze is =supposed= to run over the sides, but it's supposed to harden, not soak in. That's why the cake is frozen first. The recipe very clearly says that mousse cakes worked best, but =any= kind of cake would do. Well, clearly not. The results were edible, but not at all mirrored--or even pretty. The white chocolate and condensed milk soaked straight into the sponge of the cake. I tasted it to see what it was like, and it reminded me of a Tres Leches Cake. Very good, but without the desired effect.
I wondered if I'd made the glaze wrong, so I tested it. I dipped a finger in it and let the glaze run off. The glaze behaved exactly as it was supposed to, forming a thick mirror coating on my finger, with drips that solidified like icicles down the side, despite the fact that my finger wasn't frozen, or even cold. So I'd done the glaze right.
I decided it must have been the absorbancy of the cake. Clearly you have to do have a cake encased in mousse or ice cream or frozen whipped cream or something non-absorbent. Even a frozen sponge-style cake will absorb the glaze. Okay, then! Next time, we'll try the mousse cake.
Meanwhile, I have a tasty-but-ugly cake in the fridge . . .
comments
