J.D. Rhoades's Blog, page 46
May 10, 2011
Review: THE GIRL IN THE GREEN RAINCOAT, Laura Lippman
The Girl in the Green Raincoat by Laura LippmanMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Laura Lippman's wonderful PI character Tess Monaghan finds herself confined to her bed on doctors' orders due to unexpected complications of her pregnancy. What happens next is right out of REAR WINDOW: a woman who Tess is used to seeing out her window every day disappears, leaving her neurotic Italian greyhound running free. Tess resolves to solve the mystery from her sickbed, all the while dealing with the abandoned canine, worrying about the impending delivery and terrified at the prospect of being a mother.
What's so striking about this book is its compactness: it's only 158 pages, but there's a full, rich, multi-textured story told in that short time. THE GIRL IN THE GREEN RAINCOAT originally ran as a serialized novel in the New York Times magazine, and every chapter is a perfectly crafted, self-contained little gem. As so often happens with a Laura Lippman book, I put it down at the end and went "Wow. That was AMAZING." I loved this book.
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Why You Might Consider Buying a Nook Today
Here's what Paul Goat Allen of the Chicago Tribune had to say about the print version:
After penning three "redneck noir" novels featuring North Carolina bail bondsman Jack Keller, J.D. Rhoades has written a stand-alone story that could quite possibly be the perfectly crafted hard-edged thriller. With a plot that features a rogue undercover FBI agent, a sadistic outlaw motorcycle gang that controls a network of backwoods meth labs and a harem of hillbilly strippers, an overly ambitious female television reporter, and a much-publicized kidnapping case involving two young brothers, what more could a discerning crime fiction reader hope for?
"Breaking Cover" is nothing short of masterful on numerous levels: Rhoades' singular ability to make every character—even peripheral ones—unique, realistic and intriguing; his innate sense of narrative tempo, which is pedal-to-the-metal throughout thanks in no small part to a staccato writing style and succinct chapters all ending with cliffhangers of varying degrees; and, lastly, the author's over-the-top, pulp fiction-inspired audaciousness, which will have readers saying to themselves, "I can't believe that just happened...."
Simply put, "Breaking Cover" is destined to become a crime fiction cult classic—leather biker jacket, submachine gun and crystal meth not included.
May 7, 2011
Osama bin Laden is Dead: What Now?
A good person does not rejoice in the death of another human being. A good person doesn't hear that another living, breathing soul, one created by the maker of all things, has been gunned down and feel happy about the news.
Guess I'm just a bad person, then.
When I heard the news that Osama bin Laden had been shot and killed by U.S. Navy SEALs, I didn't exactly go out and dance in the street. It was late, I was tired, and it would have been kind of weird to do it all by myself. I know for sure it would have freaked out the dog.
But I did pour myself a large celebratory drink, sit down, and smile a smile of pure satisfaction.
Truth be told, my revenge fantasies since Sept. 11, 2001, have not involved Osama bin Laden being blown away. They've been of him sitting alone in a clear plastic cage, like Magneto in the X-men movie, surrounded by pictures and constantly playing videos of the people whose deaths he orchestrated and their families, constantly confronted with the human cost of what he'd done for the rest of a long, miserable life.
But I knew that would probably never happen. I don't even know where you'd go to get a cell like that. So as second choices go, this one will do just fine.
I can't help it. I still remember, as if it was yesterday: the shock, the fear, the anxiety of that pretty September day when I heard about the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, followed by the news of the plane that crashed as its passengers tried to take it back from the terrorists to keep it from becoming another flying bomb.
We all felt it, and we've all felt that anxiety and that sense of creeping paranoia every day since. It's made a lot of us a little bit nuts. It's made a few of us really nuts. That one incident united us, then it divided us, and I don't know how long it will be before we're really whole again.
My children grew up in a world afraid of its own shadow because of that son of a bitch, and while his death will not spell the end of terrorism, I can't help but be happy he's been paid back for that.
So what now? Will the death of the man who's been the dark and beardy face of terror bring us together just as the original attacks did, albeit all too briefly? Will the slaying of this particular dragon start a national healing process?
Well, maybe.
I was encouraged by the fact that even Dick Cheney, who's previously made thoroughly obnoxious pronouncements that he didn't think President Obama actually believed we were at war with terrorists, had nothing but praise for the "people who worked very very hard for a long time," then went on to say, "It's also a good day for the administration. President Obama and his national security team acted on the intelligence when it came in and they deserve a lot of credit too."
Former President George W. Bush also was very gracious, acknowledging President Obama's "courtesy call" to him before the announcement. So credit goes right back to them as well. In their honor there'll be a two-week moratorium on calling Mr. Bush "Dubbya" and on "shooting in the face" jokes.
On the other hand, a person on Twitter who identified himself as the founder of the "NYC Tea Party" couldn't bring himself to celebrate the moment without a bitter jab at the commander in chief who was announcing the success of the operation: "I can literally see Obama's eyes moving back and forth reading the teleprompter. Cheapens this historic moment."
Meanwhile, commenters at the right-wing site RedState were confident that the whole thing was orchestrated to take people's minds off examining Obama's birth certificate. Is that some tunnel vision or what?
So we'll see. Haters are gonna hate, no matter what. This, however, is a time when the vast majority of Americans want to greet this as good news, as evidenced by the celebrations at the White House, Times Square and ground zero. Maybe this time, the haters, sore losers and conspiracy theorists will find themselves marginalized and, for once, shunned by the people who direct the media spotlight.
We live in hope.
May 5, 2011
Interview Today at Criminal-E
May 4, 2011
Minnesota Republican Hates Neil Gaiman, Capitalism (UPDATED)
Neil Gaiman is a writer. He's a very good writer.
He's also a very entertaining speaker. He's so good that groups pay him to come speak.
He is, he freely admits, expensive.
A group who receives an arts subsidy from the State of Minnesota had access to some state arts money.
They offered to pay Neil Gaiman his market rate to come speak at a small library. He accepted. He did the job he agreed to do, was paid the agreed-upon price and, as it happens, donated the money to a couple of worthy charities. Everyone was, it seems, quite pleased (see "very entertaining speaker," above).
A particular Republican state legislator, however, was apparently offended by a talented and successful person getting paid the price he'd bargained for, for work he agreed to do, and accused Gaiman, whom "he hates", of being a "pencil-necked weasel" and "stealing" from the State of Minnesota.
Neil Gaiman delivered an epic, yet gentle smackdown: The Opinions of a Pencil-necked Weasel-thief.
Check it out.
Update: Said legislator has now "apologized for the name calling" because his Mama told him to. But he still has a problem with Gaiman getting paid his usual rate because, and I quote, "he's extremely financially successful."
Wouldn't Dean be calling this "Class Warfare" if a Democrat said someone rich should be working for free just because he was rich?
May 1, 2011
The Birther Circus Never Ends
The Next Birther Hero?Latest Newspaper Column:
President Obama provided irrefutable evidence this past week that 25 percent of Americans, and 45 percent of Republicans, are blithering idiots.
Those are the percentages of both groups, according to to a recent CBS News/New York Times poll, who don't believe the president was born in the U.S. and who therefore believe he is ineligible under the Constitution to hold the office.
Members of that group have held on to this belief despite the fact that President Obama has previously released his "certificate of live birth" from the state of Hawaii. They've held on to it despite the fact that the state officials responsible for public records have stated numerous times that the birth certificate is genuine.
They've held on to it despite the evidence that the archives of local papers from the time of President Obama's birth show that birth announcements ran in those papers of a son born to Mr. and Mrs. Barack H. Obama of 6085 Kalanianaole Highway in Honolulu.
Nothing will satisfy us, the so-called "Birthers" insisted, but the "long-form" birth certificate, something which I'll wager the vast majority of Americans had never even heard of until the Birthers turned it into the gold standard for proving you were One of Us.
"Obama isn't an American citizen" has become one of those Zombie Lies, the ones that just won't die. When one right-wing politician ends up being forced to admit that yes, he or she actually believes that Barack Obama is, indeed, an American (which they usually do only after being cornered like a rat in a trap), another one springs up, ready to start the whole tedious process over again.
The media bear a great deal of the responsibility here, because they've given a platform, not only to what the president described as "carnival barkers," but also to enough kooks, charlatans, hucksters and grifters to staff a dozen sideshows, and all under the guise of being "objective."
Make no mistake: There are some statements and positions that, in a rational world, would entitle you to nothing more than being mocked and jeered like a sideshow geek. Calls of "Where's the birth certificate!?" mark you as a clown just as clearly as if you were wearing a red nose and big shoes, and any news outlet who gives any hearing whatsoever to that sort of nonsense ought to just admit that they're just there to entertain, hire some tigers and elephants, and start broadcasting from under a big striped tent.
You want proof that there's no such thing as the "liberal media"? Liberal media wouldn't show people like Orly Taitz or Donald Trump spouting their drivel without a laugh track running underneath it.
Finally, President Obama did what he does far too often, in my opinion: He caved in to the demands of the crazies. He released the "long-form birth certificate" they'd been demanding. It showed, as everyone sane already knew, that he was born right here in the good old U.S. of A.
Did that settle the matter? Of course not. Nothing will ever satisfy the wingnuts, and Obama was foolish to try. Remember that, to the obsessed conspiracy theorist, any evidence that contradicts the the theory is itself part of the conspiracy.
Cries of "forgery!" went up from the swamps of the right wing blogosphere, with one blogger purporting to have proved the inauthenticity of the document by examining it online. Ask any legitimate document examiner if such a thing is possible, and see how long it takes him or her to stop laughing.
Some took the path of sheer chutzpah, like GOP Chairman Reince Priebus.
"Unfortunately," Priebus sniffed, "[the president's] campaign politics and talk about birth certificates is distracting him from our No. 1 priority — our economy."
Well, Rance old son, maybe if you'd shown some of that "leadership" you people are always on about and helped quash this lunacy in your own party, including some of your potential nominees like "Mau Mau Mike" Huckabee, we wouldn't have had to go through this rigmarole. If this twit beaned the president with a baseball, he'd complain about the time it took to put a bandage on the wound.
Then, of course, there's the time-honored tactic of moving the goalposts, like CNN commentator Erick Erickson, founder of the right-wing blog RedState.
"Once the birth certificate issue is dispatched," Erickson wrote, "will he release his college transcripts? That's the issue for me."
Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.
April 30, 2011
THE DRAGON FACTORY, Jonathan Maberry
The Dragon Factory by Jonathan MaberryMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
Joe Ledger and Echo Team are back, kicking ass and taking names, then checking the list of names and kicking everyone's ass again just to make sure. This time, Joe and the DMS (Department of Military Sciences) are up against not just one, but two teams of mad scientists monkeying around with the human genome. One group's literally making monsters; the other's winding up what they call the Extinction Clock for a multi-racial genocide that makes the Final Solution look puny.
This is another great, fast, fun read from Jonathan Maberry. There are a couple of spots where the multiple sets of villains make the story a little confusing ("Wait, which bad guy's island lair is this again?") There's also one spot where the story gets derailed for a stretch of exposition, including the dreaded "as you know Bob". But when the flag goes up and the shooting (and cutting, and punching and kicking, etc) starts, you forget all of this, because no one--no one--writes action scenes better than Jonathan Maberry. Part of the secret to that is that by the time the action begins, Maberry has given you enough of a peek into the warrior hearts of the characters that you really care what happens to them, and it hurts when they fall.
Highly recommended.
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April 26, 2011
War Is Over, If You Want It....
This should come as a surprise to the people still fighting three wars, four if you count the GWOT. So can our troops come home now?
Then, of course, he had to backpedal: "He meant to say since World War II," a spokesman said later.
Wow. The government's spending more that it did in 1946. What a shock.
What an empty suit this guy is.
April 24, 2011
Today's Reading From The Book of Trump
It came to pass in those days that times grew lean among those whose job it was to mock and to ridicule the Powerful and the Silly.
The Snow Princess' star had begun to fade in the North. The Chalkboard King had announced he was leaving the Fortress of the Fox. Even the Mad-Eyed Lady of the Cold Lands had shown a glimmer or two of sanity; forced to gaze upon a certified copy of the president's birth certificate, she abandoned her demands that Obama prove his birthright and stated, "That's what should settle it. … I take the president at his word. Introduce that, we're done. Move on."
And there was wailing and gnashing of teeth among the jesters and the merchants of the snark. "Who is able to be as crazy as these?" they cried. "And who shall be like unto them in mockability?"
But there were others who said, "Fear not. For it is written that in the darkest hour, a new buffoon shall rise, and great will be the silliness thereof."
Then it came to pass that out of the Big Apple, one did come. Greatly did he bluster and strut. Hilarious was his hair, if hair it was. His name was Trump. He took up the banner of the Birthers, and did champion their cause, saying, "Lo, I have dispatched my minions to the Far Island, and there you will be amazed at that which they find. Just see if you aren't. Real soon now."
Greatly did his polls rise as the People of the Far Right, including the Birthers and the Baggers of Tea, did hail him, saying "We knew it! We always knew the president was not of our tribe and land, and soon shall he sit no more in the White Palace!"
And there was great rejoicing. But not just among the People of the Right.
"Whew," said the makers of humor, "that was close. But now shall the jokes practically write themselves." For Trump's last job had been as Master of Celebrity Apprentices, leader and director of a motley crew of those who had once been Somebody, but who were now sad and diminished, having sojourned long in the Land of the Has-Beens.
"How can you take a man seriously as a candidate," it was said, "who was recently on TV as the boss of Gary Busey, Meat Loaf, and some woman named NeNe?"
"He makes liberals angry," said the People of the Right, "and verily, that's all we need."
The Humble Columnist spoke out then, saying, "You know he supported a Canadian-style health system, right?"
The people of the Right were sore amazed, saying "What?"
"In truth," the Columnist said, "for thus it is written, in Trump's book 'The America We Deserve,' that 'we must have universal health care. I'm a conservative on most issues, but a liberal on this one. … The Canadian plan also helps Canadians live longer and healthier than Americans."
"Stop! Stop!" said the People of the Right, and they did place their hands over their ears.
"Wait," the Columnist did say, "for it doth get better. Thus it is also written by Trump: 'By imposing a one-time 14.25 percent net-worth tax on the richest individuals and trusts, we can put America on sound financial footing for the next century.' Soundeth like a tax increase on the wealthy to me."
"Thou liest," the People of the Right wailed. "The Donald is a conservative."
"Nay," that one said. "The Donald is a huckster. A showman. A con artist. Crazy he is, but as the fox is crazy. Verily, he shall tell thee anything he thinketh thou wantest to hear. He no more believeth thy Birther nonsense than he doth in the Easter Bunny. Ye rubes, ye have fallen for yet another grifter, this one in a bad comb-over."
"Thou fearest the Donald," they sobbed, "just as thou did the Snow Princess. Thou liberal, thou art filled with hate for conservatives, for they are successful."
"Thou mayest tell thyself that if it doth make thee feel better," said the Columnist, "but there shall I be when this one crasheth and burneth. And great shall be my mirth on that day. So long, suckers."
April 21, 2011
Achtung!
