J.D. Rhoades's Blog, page 44
June 28, 2011
Review: PRECIOUS BLOOD, by Jonathan Hayes
Precious Blood by Jonathan HayesMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
I'm usually not a fan of the serial killer genre, but this one's a good solid read. Jonathan Hayes' debut introduces Edward Jenner, who, like Hayes himself, is a Medical Examiner in New York City. Hayes has a very deft hand; he puts in just enough detail, about pathology and about life in his beloved New York, to keep the reader's interest without slowing the story down.
The main thing that makes or breaks a serial killer novel is the killer himself. At first I was afraid Hayes' villain, who starts off by literally nailing a pretty young college student to the wall of her apartment, was going to be a "behold my power and glory" nutcase lifted straight out of RED DRAGON. Eventually, however,he gets his own scary voice and his own twisted backstory.
Highly Recommended.
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June 27, 2011
Review: PATRIOT ACTS, Greg Rucka
Patriot Acts by Greg RuckaMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
First off, you need to be warned: this book is actually the second half of the story that began in Critical Space; it picks up literally minutes after the end of that book. If you did what I did and start reading Patriot Acts before its predecessor, you're not going to know what the hell is going on or why you should care. This pissed me off more than a little, since there is no indication anywhere on the cover or inside of the edition I got that this is the case. Nevertheless, I bit the bullet, went back, and read Critical Space. So this review can be considered as applying to both books.
Bodyguard Atticus Kodiak is back. This time, he's hired in a rather unconventional way to protect an extremely unconventional client: the international assassin code-named Drama, who almost killed him in Smoker. Drama's retirement is being disrupted by someone who's out to kill her, and Atticus, the only person who's ever beaten her, is the only one she trusts. But when your life becomes entwined with that of a stone killer, there's really no way to avoid becoming one yourself...
The story moves along at a blazing pace (with one exception, a scene in Critical Space where Drama is trying to get Atticus alone by sending him all over New York City, that just seems to go on forever). The prose is lean and tough, and there are moments that pack a real emotional wallop. I'm not quite sure I buy the rationale for part of the plan near the end of the book,other than to provide one of those wallops, but by that time, I was invested enough in finding out how it ended I let it slide.
Greg Rucka writes thrillers like nobody else, and Critical Space/Patriot Acts is him at the top of his form.
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June 26, 2011
You Thought YOU Were Addicted to Facebook...
I started using Facebook a few years ago, when the conventional wisdom in the writing community was that social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace were great marketing tools, a fun and easy way to connect with readers. I have to confess, I got hooked fast.
These days, I check it — well, let's just say I check it quite a few times to find out what my friends (both the real-life ones and the ones I only know from online) are up to. Like a lot of people, sometimes I wonder if maybe I do it a bit too much. But I have to say, after reading the story of 36-year-old Jason Valdez, of Salt Lake City, I feel a whole lot better about myself.
When police came to serve a felony warrant on Valdez, he decided that he wasn't really into the whole going-to-jail thing right then. He barricaded himself in his hotel room with a pistol and a young woman and held the cops off. As the SWAT teams gathered, Valdez apparently decided that something like this was just too awesome not to share, so he got on his Android smart phone and started posting status updates to Facebook.
"I'm currently in a stand off wit these shady [expletive] from old," Valdez posted. ("Old" apparently was a typo; he later posted that he meant to write "opd" for Ogden Police Department. Given the circumstances, one can probably understand a little fumble-fingered typing.)
He went on: "Kinda ugly but ready for whatever, I love u guyz and if I don't make it out of here alive that I'm in a better place and u were all great friends."
His Facebook pals and family members immediately gathered round, some urging him to "do the right thing" and "end this peacefully," while some helpful souls provided tactical advice from nearby. ("Gunman in the bushes, stay low.")
Over the next 16 hours, Valdez posted six status updates, responded to numerous messages, and added 15 new Facebook friends. He even uploaded a picture of himself with his supposed "hostage," who, truth be told, doesn't look like she's under that much duress.
Eventually, the standoff ended as so many of them do, with the SWAT team busting in. Valdez apparently attempted suicide by shooting himself in the chest. He's now in critical but stable condition and is expected to survive. We have to rely on press releases, however, because I'm reasonably sure the cops took his phone away.
Yes, it's a new age, the age where people can't do anything without letting the world know, an age where even desperados will take time out during a standoff with the cops to give a hearty "wazzup?" to their buddies. One wonders what it would have been like if social networking had come along earlier in history...
— Ugh the Caveman: "Find flint. Make fire." … Thrag the Other Caveman: "U make fire, me carry away your woman LOL."
— Moses: "Could have sworn Aaron had the map. Guess we'll find the place eventually."
— Odysseus: "Waiting. Hotter than Hades inside this freaking horse. Wish Ajax & Diomedes hadn't had 2d helping of beans for lunch."
— Julius Caesar: "Headed down to Senate for big Ides of March party. Little nervous about what soothsayer said, but my bros Brutus & Cassius tell me they've got my back."
— Mary: "In labor, in a stable. I swear, this is the last time I let Joseph make travel reservations."
— Alexander the Great: "Just figured out there are no more worlds to conquer. Bummer."
— Christopher Columbus: "Always thought India would be more crowded."
— King Henry VIII: "Old, fat, & drunk, but the ladies still love me. Good to be King."
— Gen. George Custer: "Takin my boyz down 2 Little Big Horn to mop up a few Indians. Back soon." … (Crazy Horse and 1,800 friends like this post.)
— ALincoln: "@ theater. Play really boring. Wish something would happen."
Now, if y'all will excuse me, I have to go check up on my Facebook page. It's for marketing. Yeah. Marketing. Let's go with that.
June 25, 2011
My New Heroes
"You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn't black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing.
"You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, fuck it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing.
"I'm tired of Republican-Democrat politics. They can take the job and shove it. I come from a blue-collar background. I'm trying to do the right thing, and that's where I'm going with this."
If you're in New York and you care about human rights, send this guy some "atttaboys."
And this guy, too while you're at it:
June 22, 2011
The Jokes Just Write Themselves
Wow. Who would have thought that Sarah Palin would give up on something halfway through?
Apparently, Bachmann's announcement (and probably Weinergate) took the spotlight off her, and without the spotlight, it's just no fun anymore. So she pulls the plug.
And there are people still insisting that this flake could be President of the United States.
Don't worry, though. She's addicted to attention, and the addict's got to have her fix. Pretty soon she'll say something stupid or inflammatory, or both, and the media circus will start up again, complete with the usual crowd of ninnies bleating about how all the attention being lavished on her for being ridiculous actually means she's serious.
June 21, 2011
Moderate, Reasonable, Bipartisan, and Completely Doomed.
You know, if he had a chance in hell of getting the nomination, Barack Obama might have something to worry about in Jon Huntsman. He's smart, articulate, a fiscal conservative, and he's got some serious credentials, as well as good hair. Not as good as Romney's, but still very presidential hair.
But there's no way in hell the teabaggers and other crazies will let a guy who said he'd accept an individual health insurance mandate, believes in addressing the problem of global warming, and has actually worked for Barack Obama through the primary process.
Dead man walking, Jon. Dead man walking.
June 19, 2011
Bachmannia!
Latest Newspaper Column:So another Republican candidates' debate has come and gone, and the GOP's newest rising star is Mrs. Crazy Eyes herself, Mrs. "Armed and Dangerous," Mrs. "we need to slit our wrists to stop health reform": Congresswoman Michele Bachmann.
The consensus is that Bachmann "stole the show," first by announcing her candidacy at the outset of the debate (as if being at the debate itself wasn't announcement enough), and then by doing better than anyone expected. That is to say, she didn't say anything egregiously stupid or inflammatory. Plus, she managed to look into the right camera this time.
Actually, that last part may not be a good thing. I can't help it; every time I look at Bachmann's wide, blank eyes, I get a chill down my spine and a flashback to Martin Sheen's insane president character in the movie version of "The Dead Zone." ("Mr. Vice President, the missiles are flying. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!") But right now, the right loves them some Bachmann. I've started calling it Bachmannia.
Bachmannia, like its predecessors Trumpmania and the short-lived Newtmania, arises out of the right's desire to find a candidate who's ABR — anyone but Romney. An awful lot of pundits seem to regard Mitt Romney as the guy to beat. He's got the money, he's got the organization, and he sure does have good hair.
But this time around, Romney's got the same problem he had last time, as far as primary voters are concerned: a lack of ideological purity. As governor, he supported a regional "cap-and-trade" compact to reduce greenhouse gases and global warming.
Not only was his so-called "Romneycare" plan cited (repeatedly, and with great glee) by Democrats as a template for federal health care reform, but the "Commonwealth Care" health insurance program for low- and moderate-income Massachusetts residents also provides coverage for (horrors!) abortion.
He's always been against gay marriage, but he once sent a letter to the Log Cabin Republicans stating, "We must make equality for gays and lesbians a mainstream concern" and promising that he'd be a stronger advocate for gay rights than Teddy Kennedy.
None of this would likely hurt Romney in the general election, so long as he stuck to the "cut taxes" mantra that's become the GOPs' version of the Jedi mind trick — say it enough times in a deep, assured voice and the voters will believe any other damn fool thing you tell them.
Unfortunately, the modern Republican Party is not being run by sane people. Dick Armey's Freedomworks organization has threatened to unleash the hounds (and part of the group's $25 million war chest) to bring Romney down. Conservative activist Joe Miller, of Alaska, has already registered the domain name StopRomney.com. And so on.
Some political analysts are predicting that the only way Romney's going to blunt those attacks is to have what little spine he has completely removed and grovel like a whipped cur to the wingnuts. He's well on the way; his twists and turns as he tries to explain why an individual insurance mandate in Massachussetts is reasonable, rational health care reform, but it's Hitler-level tyranny as part of "Obamacare," would be hilarious if they weren't so pathetic.
I've got news for Mitt, anyway: Kissing up to these people never works. When true believers hate, they hate deep and they hate forever. As Democrats never seem to learn, trying to placate the right only earns you more contempt.
If Romney actually had the gumption to stand up to the far right (or do what the Democratic Party establishment does to its far left wing, i.e., ignore them), he might have a shot at winning the general election. But so far he's showed no signs of having anything like that kind of courage.
It's the Republican dilemma: Anyone moderate enough to draw the independent voters needed to win the general election has no chance of getting past the wingnut gauntlet known as the GOP primaries. So they may very well end up with Bachmann or someone equally out to lunch.
Then their only strategy for victory is to do what they so often falsely accused liberals of doing: hoping for America to fail. They'll hope for America's economy to remain sluggish, for unemployment to remain high, or even for an actual double-dip recession. At which point, even sane people will be angry enough and desperate enough to put a complete lunatic like Bachmann in charge.
June 12, 2011
The BBRP: A New Scandal-Rating System
[Note: This column illustrates some of the perils of an early in the week deadline. Feel free to add your adjustments to the ratings in light of the new stuff that comes out seemingly every day.]
I confess, I really hadn't been paying too much attention to the troubles of New York Democratic Congressman Anthony Weiner, who was accused of sending risqué messages to women via the online messaging service Twitter.
For one thing, the story was being promulgated by online muckraker Andrew Breitbart, who'd already been caught pushing supposedly scandalous videotapes of ACORN officials that turned out to have been "heavily edited," according to the Brooklyn DA's office and the attorney generals' offices of both California and Massachusetts.
None of those offices found any basis for the allegations of criminal activity alleged in the videos, but by then the damage was done and ACORN was out of business.
Breitbart also was the dude who was pushing the video excerpt that got USDA official Shirley Sherrod fired for allegedly racist comments — until the entire video was played and the USDA offered Sherrod her job back, with apologies.
At this point, Breitbart's credibility with me is such that if he tried to pay me in cash, I'd still ask for two forms of ID.
But lo and behold, it appeared that even a blind pig finds a truffle now and then, even if the swine in question is Andrew Breitbart.
Weiner broke down and tearfully confessed to sending "inappropriate" Internet messages to a variety of women over the Net. By Tuesday, he'd officially advanced to "disgraced" status, as news organizations began attaching the d-word to the title "Congressman" at all times.
Inevitably, people began comparing the burgeoning scandal to other congressional peccadillos, such as the story of Republican Congressman Christopher Lee, who resigned after sending a shirtless photo of himself to a woman he'd met on Craigslist, or Democrat Eric Massa, who resigned after a male staff member accused the congressman of "groping and tickling" him.
But how does that compare with former Democratic VP candidate John Edwards and his "love child," or former Republican Sen. John Ensign and his affair with a staffer who was the wife of another staffer?
It occurred to me that maybe what we need is a ratings system for these things. Therefore, I'm working on a Bad Behavior Rating Protocol, or BBRP. The BBRP assesses points for various factors. The higher the total score, the worse the scandal. It's still a work in progress, so feel free to make suggestions. I've broken the points assigned down into various categories.
*The act itself:Flirtatious e-mails, 2 points. Slightly risqué e-mails, 3 points. Slightly risqué e-mails with pictures, 4 points. Sexually explicit e-mails, 5 points. Sexually explicit e-mails with explicit pictures, 10 points. Groping, 15 points. One-night stand, 20 points. Long-term affair, 25 points. Long-term affair resulting in child, 50 points.
*If the acts were unwelcome or unsolicited: Add 25 points.
*Marital status of the perpetrator:
Single, 1 point. Married, 25 points. Married to spouse suffering from terminal or debilitating illness, 50 points.
*Age of other party:
Underage, 50 points. Of legal age but young enough to be daughter or son, 25 points.
*Gender of other party:
Opposite sex, 5 points. Same sex, 5 points. Opposite sex, but politician blathers a lot about "traditional values," 50 points. Same sex, and politician has anti-gay-rights voting record, 50 points.
*Reaction when story breaks:
Immediate mea culpa, minus 5 points. Immediate tearful mea culpa, minus 10 points. Evasion until confronted with irrefutable evidence, 10 points. Lame excuse, 15 points. Excuse so ridiculous it's mocked by two or more late-night comedians, 25 points. Excuse so ridiculous it passes into common usage (e.g. "wide stance," "hiking the Appalachian Trail"), 50 points.
So Weinergate, as it's inevitably been dubbed, has a BBRP score of 59, to wit: Slightly risqué e-mails, 4 points. Multiply that times 6 different women for 24 points. (There's some talk of more explicit e-mails and pics, but at the time of this writing, they're still just rumors).
He's married, so add 25 points. His wife's a major babe, so I feel like there should be some added points there, but I'm trying to keep things scientific. He did do the tearful mea culpa, but he started by denying everything, so 10 points there.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has called for an ethics investigation to see if Weiner used government computers or facilities to send his raunchy Tweets. The investigation will probably cost millions, which raises the question: Will Eric Cantor and John Boehner demand deep cuts in Medicare to pay for it before the Republicans will agree? Stay tuned.
June 11, 2011
It's the Next Logical Step
Well, why not? Right wingers (and some leftists) have been debating for years with an imaginary Obama who exists only in their imaginations.
"Obama said he was going to bring all the troops home!" No, he said he was going to up troop levels in Afghanistan and draw down in Iraq. Which he's in the process of doing.
"Obama is full of anti-white rage!" Yeah, right.
"Obama should know that Marxism doesn't work!" Which is why he's not a Marxist.
"I don't want me or my special needs son to have to appear in front of Obama's Death Panel!" Good for you. There ain't no such animal, and never was.
And so on.
June 10, 2011
Wow. I Thought Those People Were Supposed to Be So Polite
The story: The Wasilla Snowbilly will be visiting London next month as part of her non-campaign for the Presidency. She will not, however, be meeting with conservative heroine Margaret Thatcher despite her desire to do so:
One Thatcher ally told the Guardian: "Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts."
Does anyone else find the most surprising thing about this story is that Margaret Thatcher is still alive?
