Pamela Ribon's Blog: the latest from pamie.com, page 4

And Now We Have This Baby… (What Day Is It?)

So far life with a newborn is–

hang on.

…

okay. wait. i forgot to put the– Do we need to put the– what day is it? Okay. Oh, you already put the–? Thank you.

Okay. So far, life with a newborn is —

Sorry.

WHAT, JASON? NO, IT’S IN THE THING. IT’S IN THE THING. THE THING. THE THING WITH THE– NEAR THE– I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU! NO, THAT’S THE OTHER THING. IT’S IN THE OTHER THING. TO THE LEFT OF THAT. RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. I’LL JUST COME– HOLD ON.

Okay. Life with –

No, that cry definitely means the baby pro...

Hey, Pamie: “Am I Too Old To Be a Screenwriter?”

It’s very tempting to answer this question with one word.

Hi Pamie,

I just discovered your site a few weeks ago and you are one of my new favorite people. :)

Discovering your site was also a bit of Kismet because I’m a writer who’s been circling around the idea of writing a screenplay for about a year now. (I only ever wrote novels before). I know one of your biggest pieces of advice to aspiring screenwriters is to get themselves to Hollywood. Well, I’m already there! Lived near LA my whole li...

I Am a Watched Pot

“WHERE IS BABY?”

This is the text I get, several times a day now, from all over the country. Sometimes it pops up on a Facebook window. Sometimes it’s just a subject line of an empty email.

“WHERE IS BABY?”

As if I’ve hidden the child somewhere, confused Christmas for Easter and hidden this ripened egg under a rock in a field. Like I’m lying to them all and I’m waiting until Baby’s First Tooth before I spill any details.

My own mother asked today with sadness, “Will you tell me when you’re going...

You Should Be

How’s everybody enjoying their holiday season? Already had a few teary fights and regrets? Having a lot of life-altering meditations and heart-to-hearts? Thinking about your life and what has happened to it? Determined to be able to see your feet again by this time next year? I hear ya, friend. I lift my non-alcoholic beer to you in solidarity.

I’m entering the final stretch of a very long period of time that has been my Visibly Pregnant season. It is exhausting — not just because of how pregn...

Book Giveaway! Recipes for Disaster by Tess Rafferty

My friend Tess writes jokes that probably already made you laugh. She spent years writing for The Soup, worked on roasts for Comedy Central, and now has a new book that perfectly captures the difficulties in maintaining perfect hostess calm while entertaining your drunk-ass friends.

I have been one of these drunk-ass friends on more than one occasion, and I’m almost positive none of my antics made it into this book. And that is a little shocking because I have had some moments in this lady’s b...

Hey, Pamie: “What Do I Write Next?” and “How Do You Work From Home?”

It’s been a little while since I’ve had time to do a Weekly Procrastination, so I’ll do two today.

Hey Pam,

I have a question related to something we talked about when me met at AFF. My question is, what should I write next?

I think I mentioned that I’m not sure whether I prefer comedy or drama. I’ve done a little of both, and I’m ready to start a new script. I wonder if it’s time to commit to a path and dedicate myself to only writing, say, drama samples for the next year or two. Or if I shou...

Fightin’ Words

I’m going to tell you about the time a lightbulb almost destroyed my relationship, but I can’t do it without a little backstory.

For better or worse, one thing that Jason and I have in common is that we both really like to be right. We can get kind of jerky about it, which means we’re the kind of people who are prone to issue an apology that sounds like, “I can see why you thought I might have meant that.” We don’t mean to be jerks; we just both grew up having to defend ourselves a lot, and I...

How I Might Have Just Become the Newest Urban Legend

[AUDIO NOTE: I performed this piece this past weekend at Anna David's True Tales of Lust and Love (also starring Melissa Villasenor, Morgan Walsh, and Claire Titelman.) I highly recommend listening to this tale in all its mortifying glory -- it's better with the sound of an audience screech-laughing in horror. Here's the link to the recording of the show. (On iTunes here in the 11/12 show.) I'm the third story.]

[WARNING: This story is not for the squeamish.]

So I’m super pregnant. And with tha...

every day is a miracle of science and wonder

First of all, I’d like to thank you guys for the incredible outpouring of love and support over Cal. I know it’s not a contest, but the flowers/cards/messages/emails/letters for Cal over Taylor were like, 3:1. Wherever he is in kitty heaven, I hope he’s both happy and smug.

Since I already voted and I’ve got election results anxiety as I think about the next four years both worldwide and very personally domestically, I figure I’d do a little bit of updating.

One of the first things people say...

The Hardest Goodbye

I’ve been putting off writing this because I wanted some time to privately grieve, but also I knew if I got even a single kind word or condolence from you, I wouldn’t be able to handle all that has been going on. But now it’s time to write this down, as so many of you loved this cat over these long pamie.com years.

Sweet Cal is gone.

I try to convince myself that there’s comfort in the fact that he was fine and happy and silly, and then he was a little sick, and within three short months his b...