Leslie Glass's Blog, page 392

How To Turn Any Weekend Into A Mini-Retreat

Winter blues, kids sports, and the occasional caring for a loved one in crisis means too many of us are caring for everyone else but ourselves. Not to fear, these 10 self-nourishing tips can that trend around in just 72 short hours.

Nourishing yourself means more than just eating up a storm, even in all the right food groups. And eating up a storm is what we’re programmed to do at this time of the year.

Nourish means to provide food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition; to promote growth needed for nourishment (including spiritual nourishment); and to maintain/support/strengthen.

What is interesting about the definition is that it makes the distinction between how we nourish ourselves, i.e. our whole selves—mind, body and spirit. So why is it when you think of nourishment, you just think nourishing yourself with food?

I took a moment to ask friends in the recovery community about their favorite nourishing activities, that didn’t involve food. I’ve listed 10 favorites below.

1. Practice Restorative, Yin And Kundalini Yoga

Stretch, breathe, limber up: Yoga can work in just a few minutes with some simple poses

2. Rest And/Or Sleep

Get enough sleep. Take a break after lunch or snooze for a few minutes after work. Exhaustion makes us angry… and start eating

3. Spend Time Alone

This is can be thought of as quiet time, when no one is talking to, or at you. Alone time does not mean isolation, it just means time out from interaction and the needs of others

4. Meditate Mindfully

As if there’s any other way to meditate. Okay, not everyone can om their way to serenity. Meditation can be as simple as closing your eyes and breathing in for five counts and out for five counts. Your heart will slow and your worries ease. Try it. Inhale 12345 Exhale 12345

5. Walk In Nature

If you’re lucky enough to have sand or grass around and walking in bare feet is even better. It’s called earthing. But any walking in nature calms and restores your spirit

6. Spend Time With A Pet

All the research points to pets soothing anxieties and eliciting a feeling of wellbeing. So spend some downtime with a pet, any pet to nourish your spirit.

7. Listen To Music

There is also strong evidence that music alters mood. Take advantage of the good vibes by playing music that you love.

8. Express Yourself Through Arts And Crafts

Creativity is one of the greatest of human gifts and activities. Expressing ourselves whether through cooking, decorating our environment or ourselves, painting a picture or baking a cake is always a form of self care. Create away this and every season.

9. Exercise

Some of us get up early to exercise, or exercise at lunch or after work. It doesn’t matter what you do, getting your body moving will make you feel better.

10. Perform Rituals

Lighting a candle or having a bath every evening, or doing some sun salutations every daybreak. All these things that you do regularly create a feeling of balance and security in your life. When you perform a whole bunch of them (exercise, rest, listening to music, taking alone time) can provide the nourishment you need to keep yourself mentally healthy no matter what is happening around you.

The Benefits Of Nourishing Yourself

It’s my experience that if we look after our recovery holistically—listening to our entire body’s needs—then we’re more likely to be present, engage in healthy and helpful behaviors, and enjoy the holidays. We can start the new year full of energy, nourished, and content.

If you need addiction or mental health help, visit Recovery Guidance for a free and safe resource to find professionals near you.

 

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Recovery Mentor Anouska de Giorgiou

Recovery Mentor Anouska de Giorgiou lives in Los Angeles, California. She was born and raised in London, England. As a teenager, she discovered a love of music, and partying, which lead to a decade-long romance with both. Today, she owns a sober living facility in West Hollywood called Edinburgh House. Anouska is a Mom, singer, and life coach. Here’s what happened between then and now.

LG: What were you doing when you came into recovery?

Anouska: I was a singer. But I’d say I spent about ten percent of my day singing or thinking about singing, and the rest of my day thinking about recovering from the night before. Or, planning the next evening. It was a fitting profession for someone who wanted to cover up partying the whole time. It was an excuse for that.

LG: As you got comfortable with sobriety, what happened?

Anouska: My experience with sobriety is I had a list of things I wanted. I wanted to become a mother; I wanted to be a successful singer and songwriter. I wanted to have a good relationship with my family. I wanted a lot of things, but I didn’t have the tools to increase my chances of getting those things. And, I didn’t have the discipline because of my drinking and using to follow through on anything that might help get me there. I spent a lot of time becoming bitter and resentful that my goals were not forthcoming.

LG: So what changed?

Anouska: When I got sober, I got told I was full of shit by my sponsor. She said to me, “I like you Anouska, but I don’t trust you.” In my head, I said, “How dare you???” Now I look back and realize I was lying to her so much, and I didn’t really understand. I think there are layers of truth that unveil over sobriety. The first thing I understood was, I couldn’t do anything the way I had always done it. How you do anything is how you do everything. quote, courtesy of Jay Westbrook

LG: What happened with singing in sobriety?

Anouska: Things just fell into place. I think there’s an element of getting sober that’s magical. There’s a magical element of being in the right place at the right time. I was in the right place at the right time to receive the message. Once I’d been sober for a year, I ran into Nile Rodgers at a Wyclef Jean concert, and we hit it off. He produced David Bowie’s Let Dance album, and David Bowie was my hero. He was sober when he died. Nile is sober too. He said, “Send your stuff. Where do you want to live? NY or LA?” I had a really big dog, so I said LA. Next thing I knew, my band and I were on a plane with the dog to LA. We got a beautiful house up on Doheny and Sunset and started recording with another producer that worked here closely with Nile.

LG: How was early sobriety in LA?

Anouska: As soon as I hit the ground, I was at the Key club every day going to meetings. I was in a band with four boys who weren’t sober, and they thought I was totally crazy. I worked really hard. I knew how lucky I was, as much as you can know it. You only really know how lucky you are until you lose it… Sobriety and doing the steps allowed me to identify my strengths and identify my weaknesses and I think that’s a huge part of being successful in any field. The problem was when I was first sober I didn’t want to concentrate on my weaknesses, I just wanted to promote my strengths. I wasn’t willing to address the problems.

LG: How long did you do music?

Anouska: I started writing songs at 15. I got sober at 25, and that’s when things started to happen. Then, it went on for another ten years. But, I realized as I got sober that performing was something I needed to do before because my self-esteem was so low. I needed huge validation from a lot of people at the same time, and that was the only thing that would do it.

LG: Did singing give you the validation you needed?

Anouska: No. Because I was never doing it for the right reasons, so it never fixed the problem. I would go into things with, “This is what I need to get from this,” attitude. Because I was going into it with that attitude, I was incredibly anticipatory. Would I get my needs met? Would I do it right to get my needs met? I was anxious all the time. I was a sober woman who hadn’t really gone far enough in my program to fix the stuff that was broken, and I didn’t have the drugs and alcohol to take away the jitters. I was stuck in a no man’s land. It hadn’t been enough time that the promises were coming true. I was going into it all wrong. Then, Michael Des Barres said to me, “Darling, you’ve got it all wrong. It’s not about what you’re going to get; it’s about what you’re going to give. Your song writing ability, your voice, is a gift from God and comes through you, not from you and it’s not arrogant to present it well and pass it along, and the result has nothing to do with you.” It’s a good day and bad day when you realize it’s not all about you.

LG:   How did that advice change you?

Anouska: I transitioned into a career where I’m in a service based business.

LG: What did your experience bring to the table in business?

Anouska: There are a couple of things that I think are integral to being successful in this business on a moral level. Having a strong awareness bc having a willingness to help is not enough. You have to have an awareness of the effect you are having.

LG: How does having an effect on others impact you?

Question: It’s a lot of responsibility, and that can be both rewarding and devastating at different times of the day. Sober living, life-coaching is… I think I have to be a good student to be a good teacher and it’s a form of reparenting and when you are reparenting somebody and they don’t get it, I think any responsible mentor/teacher/coach would ask themselves where they went wrong. If you go wrong in a math lesson, nobody dies. I’m learning all the time different ways to reach people bc my experience is everybody learns differently and my job that one thing that speaks to them. Some people learn better through imagery, some people relate to metaphors, some to storytelling, so I’m looking for what is going to reach that person so that they trust me enough go on a journey of recovery with me.

LG: Final question. How do you take care of yourself?

Anouska: Self-care is really high on my list. I get a massage every week. I mediate twice a day. I eat really well; I exercise three to four days a week. The thing I’m not very good at is scheduling time to do nothing. So that’s my area to grow.

Recovery Mentors, by Lindsey Glass is a new series that asks people who have found personal and professional success in recovery how it all happened.

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Are You One Of The Ten Most Wanted Enablers

There has been a rash of crimes by a well known gang of enablers. They often swoop into a crisis and derail reality by helping their loved one to avoid the consequences of his or her actions. These enablers interfere in the natural process of life.

According to the Hazelden/Betty Ford Clinic, “Enabling behavior, simply put, shields people from experiencing the full impact and consequences of their behavior. Enabling is different from helping and supporting in that it allows the enabled person to be irresponsible.” Have you seen any of the Ten most wanted enablers lurking around your home?

Oliver The Obsessed

Oliver is afraid to let go, because his loved one’s life would simply unravel. Maybe their life needs to fall apart, and the sooner the better. Oliver might be helped if he read ROR detachment section to find balance.

Are you an Oliver? Do you spend all your time thinking about fixing someone else’s substance abuse? Remember Obsession is a perfume, not a expression of love. Obsessing over anything or anyone is not healthy.

Victoria The Victim

Victoria feels powerless, but she has no clue how to change. Meanwhile, she continues to deny others their consequences because she doesn’t like to watch loved ones suffer. She pities everyone, but most of all she pities herself. A great article for her would be What Is Setting Boundaries?

Are you a victim like Victoria? Do you spend your time wondering how everything became such a mess? How your life fell apart and keeps falling apart? Do you sit and pray and wish things were different?

Collin The Controlling

Collin knows who’s been to meetings and who hasn’t. In fact, he knows everything about his loved one’s life so he can be sure it is going his way. Unfortunately, in doing so, he is robbing loved ones of their right to learn from their mistakes.

A good mantra for Collin is, “Everything is going according to plan, it just isn’t my plan.” Collin can try looking for a support group in our family support section.

Are you a Collin? Do you need to be in charge? Does your loved one often have to tell you, “I got this,” or “You are suffocating me?” You may be trying to control the situation.

Nancy The “Not My Son” Mom

Nancy just can’t accept the truth and allows her child to continue unacceptable behaviors. Her child is causing real harm to themselves and others, yet Nancy can’t allow any version of her child than the one she has created. It would be comforting to Nancy to know she, as a parent, is not alone. She might read our parenting articles for support.

You might be a Nancy if…a look of utter disbelief cross your face when a neighbor, teacher, or total stranger tells you things about your son or daughter you not like. Do you ignore, deny, and refute the facts of your child’s problems?

Lionel The Liar

Lionel lies about his life at home because he doesn’t want anyone to know what’s really happening. He pretends what his loved one does is ok, but it isn’t. Learning to tell the truth might be easier for Lionel if he reads some articles in the ROR addiction basics section to learn how the disease of addiction works.

Are you like Lionel, caught in the lying game? After a loved one’s a late night of poor choices, do you call his or her boss and tell “little white lies” to cover for him?

Patty The Preventor

Patty enjoys listening to her loved ones regale her and others with the many stories of how she saved the day with her ability to to see what was coming and prevent it.

Are you a Patty? Do you tirelessly scan the horizon of your loved one’s life to prevent potential disasters so your loved one doesn’t have to face natural consequences of their actions?

Brad The Bail Bondsman

Brad is the one everyone calls at any hour when an arrested. He scrambles out of bed and runs to the jail, bail money in hand, to free his “innocent” loved ones.

Little does Brad know, people in recovery from substance abuse often face reality only when sitting in a jail cell alone. Do you allow your loved one the pain of facing reality? Could you give your loved one that precious gift? Letting others go is difficult and you will need support. A group, a therapist, and a program can all help when you’re ready.

Franny The Fixer

Franny, after a sleepless night, creates spreadsheets with bullet points outlining the possible solutions to give to her loved ones. She often shows up unannounced to do laundry, cook a meal, or clean a bathroom because her loved ones fail to do so. Franny feels she and she alone is the only one who can fix a crazy situation.

Perhaps Franny could give herself permission to take care of herself. She can read our self care section to find calm in the storm of addiction.

Benny The Banker

Benny runs to the bank to cover bad checks.  He also pays bills that were due so the power, water, or cable of a loved one won’t be turned off. He knows his loved one’s account numbers by heart.  Benny keeps paying the rent while his loved one keeps abusing drugs. He keeps going further and further into debt because he’s so afraid his loved one will end up on the street.

Are you a Benny? Do you:

Loan money to a loved one who is always “down on his luck,” or “just can’t catch a break?”
Co-sign for cars you have to pay for but will never drive?
Often feel as though the only reason your loved one contacts you is to get money from you?

Does your helping making possible activities you don’t want to support?

Betty The Babysitter

Betty’s adult children expect her to babysit. In fact, they don’t even ask anymore. They simply let her know when they need her. Or they show up, unexpected with kids in tow. When Betty first objected, her kids made her feel guilty. They accused her of not wanting to spend time with her grandchildren. Now she feels like a prisoner in her own family.

Like Betty, when your loved one is “so stressed out by the kids and life” and wants to “blow off a little steam,” do you ride in like the cavalry to babysit and take over all childcare? Are you made to feel guilty or manipulated if you say no. Are you bullied until you concede? Be sure to read ROR’s parenting articles for support.

Enabling And Addiction

Loving others is confusing when substance use disorder is in their life. It’s also difficult to understand when you are an adult child of an alcoholic (ACoA) with children of your own to parent and save. Living with family dysfunction that results from substance misuse isn’t a crime; it’s a painful reality for millions of Americans.

Enabling often becomes the driving force in relationships where substance misuse is causing problems. If you and your loved ones are caught up in this web, have hope. Things can improve and you can find a new way to live without enabling others.

Remember enabling does not help, and only delays your loved ones from getting the help they so desperately need. Act today to stop this crime wave. While we speak about the “crime wave” in a metaphoric, joking way, the destructive impact of enabling is very real. Start helping yourself now.

Enabling is a sign of co-dependency, which can be treated. Find therapists, recovery programs, and support groups near you at Recovery Guidance.

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If The Fixer Pattern Drives You

There is a tendency to live in patterns, or to re-live patterns…depending on what works for any given person. Being a fixer is one such pattern. Often, the patterns are hidden from our view, found outside our peripheral vision or in our blind spots. These patterns play themselves out in every area of our lives until we discover them and let them go.

Friends Can’t Fix Us

We bristle and reject the communication of friends who try to illuminate the pattern for us. Some friends can be blunt and tell us like it is, while others sugarcoat the elusive pattern in analogies. Friends have good intentions, but their words frequently fall on deaf ears; their efforts to get us to see what we cannot are wasted.

Are You A Fixer?

A common pattern is found in those who are driven to “fix” other people and relationships. The fixing pattern is really a deflection or diversion which is projected onto others. There is less risk in fixing others than there is in fixing oneself, after all.

“Fixers” are obsessed with fixing anything which they deem broken and they are not above breaking it so that they can fix it! They are smooth talkers, having the ability to persuade and convince. They are also bullies and they communicate by throwing out hurtful accusations that are untruthful and just plain unkind.

Fixers are emotional abusers, and often they cannot see the pattern they are employing to manipulate and disempower the people they claim to love. And they play it out over and over again, in relationship after relationship where they’ve labelled their exes “crazy” or “unlovable”. They take a potentially fulfilling relationship and break it, just so they can fix it. Such is their obsession with repeating the pattern.

Fixing Can Backfire

A close friend who is a “fixer” recently ended his relationship by assuming a tragic life event had broken his fiancé. Instead of providing the emotional support that would have empowered her, he tried to fix her. When she resisted his efforts, he created chaos in the relationship and she ended it. She unknowingly played right into his hand, because now he can try to fix it.

Who Fixers Are Attracted To

Fixers often find themselves in relationships with people who are trying to heal their own patterns. On one hand, aware that patterns exist and on the other, unclear which is theirs…. “seekers” are vulnerable to fixers because they are trying to uncover their own patterns. Seekers lose discernment when they assume that fixers are also seeking their own truth. Sadly, this is not the case but fortunately, seekers are usually self-aware and can see the pattern for what it is and let it go.  Who knows, they may even realize their own pattern in the process!

Let Go

Being curious and aware of what triggers you in communication will shine the light on the patterns that you play out in your own life. We’re all human and we all have these patterns of behavior that hold us back from true freedom and happiness…why not begin your own discovery with forgiveness and let go?

Looking for a fix from fixing? Recovery Guidance is an expansive list of therapists and counselors across the US.

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Experts Say “Meh” To Marijuana’s Powers

From Science Daily: Two papers published today in the scientific journal Addiction look at the current evidence of the effects of medical marijuana laws and conclude that there is little support for either claim.

In 1996, California became the first US state to legalise marijuana use for medical purposes. Medical marijuana is now legal in 29 states. Opponents of medical marijuana argue that such laws increase recreational marijuana use among adolescents, while advocates contend that medical marijuana helps to address the US opioid crisis by reducing overdose deaths.

The first claim, that legalizing medical marijuana increases recreational use among adolescents, is addressed by a new meta-analysis that pooled the results of eleven separate studies of data from four large-scale US surveys dating back as far as 1991. Results of the meta-analysis indicate that no significant changes (increases or decreases) occurred in adolescent recreational use following enactment of medical marijuana laws. Far fewer studies examined the effects of medical marijuana laws among adults, although existing evidence suggests that adult recreational use may increase after medical marijuana laws are passed

Senior author Professor Deborah Hasin says, “Although we found no significant effect on adolescent marijuana use, we may find that the situation changes as commercialized markets for medical marijuana develop and expand, and as states legalize recreational marijuana use. However, for now, there appears to be no basis for the argument that legalising medical marijuana increases teens’ use of the drug.”

The second claim, that legalising medical marijuana reduces opioid overdose deaths by offering a less risky method of pain management, is addressed in an editorial co-authored by several members of Addiction‘s editorial board. Here, the evidence is clear but weak, being rooted in ecological studies whose results have not been confirmed through more rigorous methods. Although those studies show a correlation over time between the passage of medical marijuana laws and opioid overdose death rates, they do not provide any evidence that the laws caused the reduction in deaths. In fact, several recent studies have shown that chronic pain patients who use cannabis do not use lower doses of opioids. There are more plausible reasons for the reduction in opioid deaths that ought to be investigated.

Need help with an opioid addiction?  Find therapists, recovery programs, and support groups near you at Recovery Guidance.

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Family Roles in a Dysfunctional Families

Family roles are established early, and negative conditioning can last a lifetime. There is a lot of information regarding dysfunctional families and the unhealthy roles that are played in this kind of family system. Addiction or abuse is often the cause of dysfunction. The motivation that launches dysfunction is often noble, or caring. It can be the desire to protect the family or family member from negative consequences like getting arrested or losing a job, or being acknowledged as a drinker, abuser, gambler. The desire to protect begins with pretending that everything is all right, and later becomes a system that hurts everyone. In the name of loyalty, dysfunctional families require that everyone play a role in maintaining a destructive status quo.

Dysfunctional Families Struggle With The Following Issues

Denial of the problems
Secrecy about what’s happening
Addiction to drugs or alcohol, food, or behaviors such as gambling
Codependency or taking care of person/s to the point of feeling angry and overwhelmed by their illness/es.
Enabling  a person stay in their addiction such as buying alcohol for the alcoholic to keep him/her/they happy

In unhealthy families, we find a number of roles that are problematic and which keep the family sick. Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse is one of the experts in the addiction and codependency fields and who led the field in examining family dysfunction in an addictive system. including common roles. Here we examine 6 types of roles in the family. As you read, see if you fit any of these roles.

Six Common Family Roles

The Problem Person/s 

The person/s with substance use disorder, food disorder, behavior use disorder (gambling, exercise, sex) alcohol use disorder. This person/s uses substances or behaviors to try to feel better and in doing so, often demands acceptance of the addiction. This person also struggles with accepting responsibility for his life and the impact he is having on his family and others (such as friends, extended family, work, etc). The disorder can progress from just using substances, to misusing substances, and to becoming physically and emotionally dependent on the substance or behavior. This person’s life focuses on whatever behavior has become and addiction. The behavior becomes the best friend, the lover, the coping tool, and the comfort for all other issues.

Enabler/codependent

The enabler is usually the partner or other family member who tries to keep the family together by attempting to keep peace. It can be mom, dad, grandma, grandpa. The codependent will often:

Deny the problems of the problem person.
Step to fix things in every time there’s a crisis
Pay for debts, drugs, traffic tickets, telephone, rent
Purchase the substances or other things the problem person needs
Keep the secrets of the problem person and the family
Be overwhelmed from by role as she/he no longer has time for anything else
Pacifies the problem person to make the family look good

Hero

The hero is often the oldest child (including an adult child), although any child can be an overachiever. His role is to keep himself together and be the best he can be. The family embraces his role as he makes the family look good. Unfortunately, he is often serious, perfectionist, and rigid, and is unwilling to look at how this role is negatively affecting him and those around him.

Mascot

The mascot tends to be the second child and his role is to keep everyone laughing, being the source of humor, or even getting into trouble for his pranks. This often is his way to cope with the family problems and he takes everyone’s mind off the addiction and dysfunction by being the court jester. However, he is typically immature and cannot reach his own feelings.

Scapegoat

This role is for the child who is acts out with their behavior in order to try to get attention. As children grow, they learn that negative attention is better than no attention, so the scapegoat gets in trouble at home, at school, in the community, at work, and other places. The acting out is a direct cry for help but this behavior becomes a way to detract the family from the addictive problems as they focus on the problem child. This is a way for the parents to blame a child as the “identified problem,” therefore, not examining the other problems.

Lost child

The lost child typically can be the third or later child. Here, she seeks to be invisible at home, at school, and/or work. The family pays her little attention as she demands little attention. Hiding out is a safety factor for her. She struggles with interactions with others, has low self esteem, and trouble making decisions.

Family Roles Are Fluid As Families Become More Dysfunctional Over Time

While these roles are common, they also vary in different family systems. Sometimes roles may be combined such as the mascot and the scapegoat. Also, the roles in the family can change such as the hero oldest daughter gets into drugs and another child steps up to be the hero.

To cope with this dysfunction, check out AA, NA, Al-Anon, Codependents Anonymous or other self-help programs. If this is an emergency, call a local or national hotline such as Families Anonymous – 800-736-9805. And finally, continue to read articles on this site, other sites, and/or read Wegscheider-Cruse’s books such as Another Chance, Codependency, and Coupleship.

If you need help you can also check out Recovery Guidance for a free resource to find addiction and mental health professionals near you.

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Unhealthy Roles In Family Dysfunction

How do unhealthy roles in family dysfunction play out in real life? Here’s a family situation that will seem familiar to those who experience the painful dysfunction that accompanies a substance or behavioral addiction. The Drake family is in crisis due to the additive family system. Each family member suffers in a different way. What can they do to recover?

Person with Alcohol Use Disorder

Josh, the father, has Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD, formerly called alcoholism).  The consequences of his drinking include two DUIs and he has recently lost his job from intoxicated at work. Josh had already been warned about this. With the loss of his job, Josh is now home all day. He spends part of his time at a local bar, and part of his time at home, always drinking. He can put away 12-16 beers daily. In denial, he is blaming his family for loss of his job. He believes his wife, Kathee, and his kids cause him to drink, and that drinking is the only thing that gets him through the day. He is not currently looking for a job and is depending on Kathee’s income to support the family.

Codependent

Kathee, the mother, is the codependent. She works full-time and is trying to keep the family together. She has three children and struggles to help Josh cope with his drinking. She has quit trying to confront him about his drinking as he gets very angry and scary. To appease his anger, she now brings him beer to prevent his angry outbursts (which occur over the smallest issues). She is embarrassed about the family situation has stopped asking for help from others. She is angry and hurt but covers up her true feelings by trying to put on a happy face wherever she goes. She is also the primary caregiver to their three children.

Hero:

Caitlin, 17, is the oldest child. She copes with the family by achieving. She is among the top five in her senior class and is also a good athlete. The family rallies around her in a manner that keeps them in their roles. When there is something good going on in the family, then other problems can be denied. However, Caitlin is very upset about the situation. She is angry at her mother, and her father, and has trouble having fun. She has become quite rigid in her perfectionism. She is also ambivalent about going to college. She longs to get away from everyone but feels guilty about wanting to leave her mother and younger siblings to cope without her help.

Mascot/scapegoat:

Marcus, 15, is the middle child. He is a combination mascot and scapegoat. He has always been funny and is known as the class clown. The family embraces his role as a mascot as he tries to deal with the family problems by laughing and making fun of life. He is also immature and his mascot behavior is beginning to change into that of the scapegoat, as he has started getting into trouble at school for acting out, mostly by disrupting the situations at school. He is beginning to have a permanent seat at the social worker’s office because of this troubling behavior. In addition, his grades are falling.

Lost child:

Careen, 12, is the youngest. She is basically ignored by the family for she tends to stay in her room as a way to escape the family struggles. She isolates by doing solitary activities such as being on the computer, playing online games, and reading. She doesn’t cause any problems although being the lost child, her needs are being neglected. Also, she doesn’t really have any friends at school.

Can This Family Be Saved

Of course it can. But for change to occur, every member of the family needs help. Josh needs treatment for his alcohol disorder. That does not mean he is willing to get it. If he does not want treatment or counseling for the marriage, Kathee can still get a life preserver for herself and her children. As she sees her family floundering, she can seek help through Al-anon to understand what’s happening and how to find solutions.

Kathee can find a therapist. She can encourage her teens to attend Al-Anon teen meetings and find therapists to help them understand and cope with the family situation. She can contact Families Anonymous. Another free resource is Codependents anonymous. All of these resources can set this family on a track for better relationships.

It’s not easy to step out a rollercoaster situation, and things often get messy before they get better. But recovery is working for the millions of people willing to ask for help by contacting the above groups and exploring treatment options in their area.

 

 

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Demi Lovato’s Body Confident Thighs

From Karen Mizoguchi @ People: Just like the lyrics of her hit 2015 single, “What’s wrong with being confident?”, this star is proud of the skin she is in and is not shy about celebrating it.

Demi Lovato sounded the alarm about being confident on Tuesday with a photo all about body positivity – specifically showing off her legs, a part of her physique that she continues to be outspoken about.

“These are what I call no more dieting thighs and I’m proud of them #thickthighssavelives,” the singer, 25, captioned the picture of herself wearing an oversized black jacket and white booties.

In January, Lovato shared her ongoing challenges of recovering from an eating disorder as well as her determination to break free from the need to be perfect with an emotional Instagram caption.

“I’m insecure about my legs in this picture but I’m posting it because I look so happy and this year I’ve decided I’m letting go of my perfectionism and embracing freedom from self criticism,” she said.

“Learning to love my body the way it is is challenging but life changing. Giving up my eating disorder has been the most challenging journey of my life but I work every day towards solid recovery even if I mess up sometimes,” the Grammy nominee stated.

After privately battling body image issues when she first stepped into the spotlight, now Lovato is open about her struggles and is working to embrace her curves.

“It’s a daily battle. Some days I feel great and some days I don’t feel great. And sometimes it’s periods of times,” she recently told PEOPLE.

“I stopped dieting and have gained a little weight so it’s been a struggle but at the same time, I’m happier because I’m not restricting myself from certain foods and I’m no longer food shaming myself,” she proudly said.

Adding, “As someone recovering from a food disorder, it’s something that I want to put out there that you don’t have to diet in order to be happy. I don’t think I’ve heard that message out there in the public and of course, it’s important to be healthy and everything in moderation is fine.”

Need help with an eating disorder or addiction? Visit Recovery Guidance to find treatment and addiction physicians near you.

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Excessive Alcohol Use Linked To Early Onset Dementia Risk

From CNN: Excessive alcohol use could increase your risk for all types of dementia, particularly early-onset dementia, according to a new study.

The study, published Tuesday in the journal Lancet Public Health, looked at over 1 million adults released from French hospitals between 2008 and 2013 who were diagnosed with dementia, a clinical syndrome characterized by a progressive deterioration in cognitive ability.

Using data from the French National Hospital Discharge database, the researchers found that alcohol-use disorders were diagnosed in 16.5% of the men with dementia and 4% of the women with dementia — over twice as much as in those without dementia for both sexes.Alcohol-use disorders refer to “the chronic harmful use of alcohol or alcohol dependence,” the researchers wrote.

What too much alcohol can do you to your health

In order to isolate the role of alcohol use, patients with neurological disorders such as Parkinson’s and Huntington’s, which can also lead to dementia, were excluded from the study.”The most novel result is the large contribution of alcohol-use disorders to the burden of dementia over the lifespan,” said Dr. Michael Schwarzinger, a researcher at the Transitional Health Economics Network in Paris and a leading author of the study.

The association was particularly strong for those with early-onset dementia, diagnosed when the patient is younger than 65. Over half of the individuals in the early-onset group had alcohol-related dementia or an additional diagnosis of alcohol-use disorder.”Given the strength of the association, what is the most surprising to me is that alcohol-use disorders had received so little interest in dementia research and public health policies,” Schwarzinger said.

How alcohol might damage the brain

Although many studies have shown a strong association between excessive alcohol use and dementia, this study is unique in its findings about early-onset dementia, according to Dr. Kostas Lyketsos, a neuropsychiatry professor and director of the Johns Hopkins Memory and Alzheimer’s Treatment Center who was not involved in the study.”That is rather unique,” Lyketsos said. “It does remind us that alcoholics have shorter life expectancies.”The study was also among the largest of its kind. But, according to Lyketsos, the large size could leave the study open to selection bias.”

There’s a tradeoff between size and precision of the variables,” he said. “The more people you have, the less confidence you have in the elements that go into the diagnosis of dementia.”I also want to point out that this was really a sample of hospitalized individuals. It’s very unusual for people with dementia, at least in the milder stages, to be hospitalized,” he added.

Lower-class drinkers face worse heart health risks, study says

Research suggests multiple ways heavy alcohol use can lead to dementia. First, ethanol and its byproduct acetaldehyde are known to have a toxic effect on the brain that can lead to long-term structural and functional brain damage, Schwarzinger says.

Heavy alcohol use can also lead to a condition called hepatic encephalopathy, characterized by a loss in brain function due to increases of ammonia in the blood caused by liver damage.

“Heavy drinking is also strongly associated with vascular risk factors such as high blood pressure or diabetes mellitus as well as cardiovascular diseases,” Schwarzinger added.

“Lastly, heavy drinking clusters (in) people with less education, smoking habits, and/or depression. All of these factors were found to be independent risk factors for dementia onset.”

Though heavy alcohol use increased the risk of dementia in general, the association was shown to be stronger in men.

When other factors were not controlled for, heavy drinking was associated with a higher risk of dementia among both men and women. In men, the risk was increased by a factor of 4.7, while in women, it increased by a factor of 4.3.

But even when the researchers controlled for factors like high blood pressure, obesity and tobacco smoking, heavy alcohol use was still associated with a more than threefold increase in dementia among both sexes.

Results differed by sex

The study also showed that the average age of dementia onset differed between men and women. Men were more likely to develop it a younger age and women at an older age.Why it’s so hard to treat dementia”Gender differences on dementia onset have been puzzling for decades,” Schwarzinger said. “Men have a poorer lifestyle than women on average, in particular heavier alcohol consumption. Therefore, it is somewhat unsurprising that early-onset dementia identifies a cluster of men with alcohol use disorders.

“The gender difference could also result from the study’s methodology, according to Lyketsos.”That was one of the reasons I’m a little concerned about selection bias,” he said. “There could be a gender effect on who goes to the hospital with dementia.”Alcohol use was also not objectively measured in the participants, one of the study’s main limitations.”

We have no idea what is the level of drinks they were actually drinking,” Schwarzinger added. “That kind of information you can only get in a cohort study with a questionnaire.”

Though the study had a very large sample size, it looked at individuals in only one country, making it difficult to generalize across cultures. According to a 2014 report from the World Health Organization, each person consumes an average of 12.2 liters of pure alcohol in France versus 9.2 liters in the United States.

But Schwarzinger cautioned that people outside France should still take the findings seriously: “While the rate of alcohol use disorders is lower in the USA, it remains substantial enough to be considered major risk factor for dementia onset.”

Correction: A previous version of this story misstated the title of Dr. Kostas Lyketsos. He is a professor of neuropsychiatry.

Need help to quit drinking? Visit Recovery Guidance to find treatment and addiction physicians near you.

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Kratom Is Linked To Salmonella, CDC Says

From Melanie Dadourian @ Fox News: The herbal drug kratom is under fire for the second time this month. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported on Tuesday that the substance is linked to an outbreak of salmonella.

In a statement, the CDC said 28 people in 20 states got sick after ingesting kratom, and 11 people were sick enough to be hospitalized.

“At this time, CDC recommends that people not consume kratom in any form. The investigation indicates that kratom products could be contaminated with salmonella and could make people sick,” the statement reads.

On Feb. 6, the Federal Drug Administration warned the herb acts like an opioid drug and advised people to stay away from it.

In the meantime, the Drug Enforcement Administration is looking at restriction on the sales of kratom, which is available online.

According to MedicalExpress, the herb is grown in the Southeast Asian countries of Thailand, Malaia, Indonesia and Papua New Guinea, and has been sold as a dietary supplement to help manage pain and boost energy.

The CDC said it is not clear how salmonella could have gotten into supplies of kratom, but it’s been linked to supplements before and it caused an outbreak in food powder in 2016.

“In interviews, ill people answered questions about the foods they ate and other exposures in the months before they became ill. Eight (73 percent) of 11 people interviewed reported consuming kratom in pills, powder or tea,” the CDC said.

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