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13 Signs Your Friendship Is Toxic

From Lindsay Dodgson @ Business Insider: You can meet toxic people in all walks of life — in romantic relationships, at work, and in friendships. Toxic friends are energetically draining, hypocritical, and not worth your time. But it can sometimes be difficult to pick up on the fact they are causing damage.

Letting the wrong kind of people into your life can be incredibly draining. You’re not likely to find enough time for yourself if another person is constantly on at you about things and won’t give you room to breathe.

Toxic relationships aren’t just the romantic kind. Sometimes, friendships with people can turn out just as abusive and damaging too.

Rather than bringing company and comfort to your life, a toxic friendship will bring exhaustion and frustration.

Psychologist and therapist Perpetua Neo told Business Insider there are quite a few signs you can look out for, which will tell you that the relationship you have with a friend isn’t healthy.

Some of the red flags are obvious, but some are much more subtle. Here are 13 of the most common signs to look out for:

1. There’s A Whole Lot Of Drama

One thing you can guarantee from a toxic person is drama. Chaos seems to surround them somehow, either because they’re always arguing with someone, causing problems, or unbelievable things keep happening to them.

“Drama is a very big thing when we talk about toxic friends,” Neo said. “A toxic friend tends to be someone who sucks us in either by being very amazing, very grandiose, or by being this sad creature that needs our help.”

Whatever their story, you can guarantee you’ll hear about it, or worse, get dragged into it.

2. Everything Is About Them

A toxic friend will never really listen to you. They will always be waiting for their turn to speak, or to turn the conversation back to them.

“In a novel conversation between people, you can say this thing happened to me too, which is ok because that’s where empathy happens, and you form a connection,” Neo said. “But then with a toxic person, everything revolves around them. They’ll twist it.”

A good way to test for this is by bringing up random topics that have nothing to do with either of you. A toxic person will have the uncanny ability to manipulate the conversation back around to them again, whatever the topic, without skipping a beat.

3. They Put You Down

Neo said a toxic friend will never compliment you. They’ll never pick you up or congratulate you on your achievements. In fact, they’re much more likely to kick you when you’re down.

You’ll realize you’re never actually happy or relaxed around them because they don’t make you feel good about yourself, Neo said. No friendship should be transactional, but if someone is draining all your energy, you should ask yourself whether you’re getting anything out of it at all.

4. They Compete With You

Whether it’s your job promotion, a romantic partner, or a new class you’re doing, your toxic friend will compete with you. They won’t like the idea of you having anything that doesn’t involve them, and they especially don’t want you to excel at something.

“They want to compete with you, even if you’re not competing with them,” Neo said. “Even if you’re in a completely different field, they want the same things you do.”

5. They Secretly Copy You

The competition can go one step further, and a toxic person will start to mimic you. They might buy the same bag you bought the week before, or start using the same slang words as you.

“A very common thing I’ve heard, is this person really likes you, wants to spend all their time with you, and copies you,” Neo said. “So it’s not uncommon for toxic friends to be very jealous of you, tear you down, and to some extent try to steal your identity. In severe cases, they might pretend to be you and use your photos, like catfishing.”

6. They Cross Your Boundaries

Toxic people do incredibly inappropriate things. For example, Neo said they may ring you on your house phone when you never gave them the number, or even show up uninvited.

They won’t listen if you tell them something they’re doing makes you uncomfortable. Instead, they’ll make you feel mean or crazy for even bringing it up. They have no respect for your space, and make you feel like you’re abandoning them if you push back.

7. Toxic Friends Are Obsessively Needy

Neo said you might feel like you’ve gotten yourself an obsessive boyfriend or girlfriend without even asking for it. They’ll call and text you at all times of the day, even if you said you’re busy.

“They want all your time so it’s a very codependent kind of friendship,” she said. “So they’ll text you all the time and expect a reply. Even if you say I’m going to be really busy over the next six hours, they’ll text you just before, and throughout. And if you don’t reply they will kick up a storm.”

8. They Are Jealous Of Other Friends

A toxic person will probably start to blame your other friends when you don’t respond to their texts and calls. Neo said they’re likely to criticise your friends to your face, and try and isolate you from them.

“They are extremely jealous of your friends and will even go so far as to tell you you’re their only friend, and you’re the only person they care about,” she said. “Even if you’re on a date they expect you to drop everything for them.”

9. You Feel Responsible For Them

Even though they’re acting unreasonably, toxic people are skilled at making people feel bad for them. Their guilt trips know no bounds, Neo said, because they’ve probably spun a load of sob stories about how hard their life has been.

“You have this sense of support like you’re a lighthouse for them, and if you collapse, they’ll collapse,” she said. “If you decide to spend your time with somebody else, what if they do something bad? If you don’t answer them, what if they hurt themselves?’

10. They’re Hypocritical

While they make you feel bad for not making enough time for them, toxic people won’t ever feel bad for letting you down. But because they’re so irrational and dramatic, you’ll let them get away with it as you don’t want to set them off.

“They might owe you money and pretend they never owed you, and rewrite history,” Neo said. “So you may feel irritated and angry, but because you don’t want to trigger them and their difficulties, so you take a step back.”

11. They Lie To Get Sympathy

Toxic people always have a sad backstory. They’ll probably tell tales of how they’re an alcoholic, have a drug problem, were abused when they were young, or how everything goes wrong for them. “Woe is me” is their catchphrase.

“They may play up the chaotic nature of their lives to get sympathy,” Neo said. “They might tell loads of stories that make no sense, that don’t quite add up. Sometimes they go far as to hurt themselves just to convince you.”

12. You’re Always Set Up For Failure

Putting on public displays of drama are a toxic person’s favourite activity. If you haven’t done anything obvious towards them in a while, they might set you up for failure. For example, they could say you promised to go to the cinema with them and you stood them up, when that conversation never happened.

“They’re very dramatic so they might publicly shame you in a place by screaming and shouting at you, so you feel bad and put in your place,” Neo said. “They make you feel like it’s your fault — if you don’t want such behaviors then don’t do it again.”

13. You Feel Something Is Wrong

Neo said your body is good at picking up signals that something isn’t quite right. It can be hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that’s wrong, but if you are constantly feeling on edge, it could be because there’s a toxic person around.

“You cannot figure out what the hell is going on,” Neo said. “Your brain runs over time, and your mental energy is being sucked out by this person all the time. You don’t only feel responsible, you feel destabilized around them. Some people make the room feel a bit energetically funny. Your body is a barometer telling you that they’re trouble.”

Did you know coloring can help you find peace and serenity? Check out Reach Out Recovery’s latest book, Find Your True Colors In 12-Steps.

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Posters Suggesting Women Can Drink While Pregnant Cause Backlash

From Daniel Victor @ The New York Times: On posters distributed to medical facilities across Australia, large type over an image of a pregnant woman read: “It’s safest not to drink while pregnant.”

Good so far.

It was the next line, in smaller type, that alarmed medical professionals: “It’s not known if alcohol is safe to drink when you are pregnant.”

Public health groups responded with resounding protests — drinking alcohol while pregnant is very definitively known to be unsafe, they said. Creating doubt around the science could confuse pregnant women and encourage them to ignore warnings, they feared.

The organization that made the posters, DrinkWise, describes its focus as promoting “a healthier and safer drinking culture in Australia,” but is funded largely by the alcohol industry. It withdrew the 2,400 posters after hearing complaints and substituted new text.

But concerns remained among people working to spread the message that women should stay away from alcohol while pregnant.

“It’s more than just erroneous for the alcohol industry to make that statement,” Michael Thorn, chief executive of the Foundation of Alcohol Research and Education, which is based in the Australian capital, Canberra, said in an interview. “The truth is, that’s what they want the public to believe.”

In an emailed statement, DrinkWise’s chief executive, Simon Strahan, suggested the flap was more about precise messaging than intent.

“It is clear, from the ‘It’s safest not to drink while pregnant’ headline of the posters, that the intent is to encourage abstinence when pregnant, planning a pregnancy or breast-feeding,” he said.

Mr. Strahan said DrinkWise “immediately acted upon” a complaint from the Australian Medical Association “to refine the message to avoid any potential for misinterpretation.”

“DrinkWise wants to ensure all women are aware of the risks of drinking while pregnant,” he wrote.

In the updated poster, the disputed line was replaced with: “A very important choice you can make for the health of your baby is to abstain from alcohol while pregnant, planning a pregnancy or breast-feeding.” The news was first reported by The Sydney Morning Herald.

Indeed, health organizations are virtually unanimous on the issue: Women shouldn’t drink while pregnant. Doing so can cause an array of physical and mental impairments in the child.

It’s the advice from, among others: Australia’s Alcohol and Drug Foundation, Australia’s National Health and Medical Research Council, Britain’s National Health Service, the American Pregnancy Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (The C.D.C. faced a backlash in 2016 for recommending that sexually active women who are not on birth control remain sober in case of an unplanned pregnancy.)

While just about every public health organization agrees the best option is to not drink, there is some debate about the exact effects of drinking early in a pregnancy, or drinking small amounts throughout. Some studies have suggested the effects are minimal.

But many working in public health note that those studies are far from conclusive, and they say the uncertainty shouldn’t be taken as a green light to drink.

It’s an issue that advocates continue to push in Australia through public health campaigns. A study published in the Medical Journal of Australia reported that 53 percent of pregnant Australian women drank in 2007, but the number had fallen to 35 percent by 2011. In that time, the number of women who drank after the first trimester dropped to 26 percent from 42 percent.

Tony Bartone, president of the Australian Medical Association, confirmed that the group wrote a letter to DrinkWise protesting the language in the poster. He said it was “disappointing to see such misinformation got into the public space in the first place.”

“It doesn’t matter who funds it,” he said. “The messaging should still reflect the evidence-based findings.”

Did you know coloring can help you find peace and serenity? Check out Reach Out Recovery’s latest book, Find Your True Colors In 12-Steps.

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Anxiety Help: Facing Fears Heals Your Brain

From Susan Biali M.D. @ Psychology Today: Do you tend to be fearful or anxious? It’s really important to know this about yourself, and deal with it appropriately.

Fear and anxiety are like kidnappers that hold you captive, holding you back from the full, free life you could be living. The stranglehold on your life will typically get worse over time, if left unchecked.

The good news is that there are simple things you can do to face your fears, and actually rewire your brain.

You can become a much less anxious person. It’s key to understand how your brain reacts to the things that frighten you, and how to change your habitual behaviors to help your brain be less anxious. I’ve written about other ways to heal anxiety in the past, but today we’ll focus on avoidance and exposure.

Don’t Be a Victim of Fearing Fear Itself

When it comes down to it, anxious people fear the feeling of fear. That’s the most scary part – the way you feel when something makes you really anxious. This leads to avoidance, which then leads to more avoidance, which leads to a progressively smaller, more limited life.

I know this well, because I tend to be anxious. I’ve learned to manage it better, but I’m that person who prefers to avoid scary things (heights, certain situations, certain risks). I have recently decided to stop avoiding, as much as I possibly can.

Avoidance is a bad strategy for your brain’s fear center. When you feel fear and run away or avoid, you miss the chance to “habituate” your amygdala (fear center) to the thing you’re afraid of.

You can teach your amygdala that it doesn’t need to be afraid of something, much as you might reassure a child who is convinced there are monsters under the bed. That terrified child might not believe you if you just tell them: “You shouldn’t be scared, there is nothing there”.

If you prove it to them instead, using their own positive experience, they’ll be much more likely to change their belief and let go of that fear entirely.

There aren’t monsters under the bed. And most of the things we are afraid of will never happen. Most of the things we fear aren’t likely to ever hurt us. What will hurt us, is living an ever-smaller life because we think we can’t handle things in it.

How Facing Your Fears Calms Down Your Brain

I don’t like glass elevators. The other day I had to take one, so I stuck it out, breathed and got through. I took the same elevator again a few days later and hardly thought of it, it got easier each time. Why? How did this change?

My amygdala learned with experience that this wasn’t actually a threat. I learned that I could handle it, too.

It changes your brain’s physiology to face your fears, especially in doses you can handle without getting completely overwhelmed (this glass elevator didn’t go up that high, so it was manageable, but I still didn’t want to be in it, at first).

Avoiding Things Teaches Your Brain to be More Afraid

If I had chickened out, I would have taught my brain that fear and avoidance is the right reaction to this “threat”, and it would have been worse the next time. Phobia experts know this to be true.

I’ve used a really simple situation, but this concept applies to all kinds of situations. I’ve gotten much less afraid of difficult conversations. I used to try to avoid them as a rule, but that just made them scarier and made me have even less confidence in my ability to handle them with success.

I have a great mentor who forces me to stay in the game when I want to run, and it has completely changed my perception, confidence and anxieties in this area.

Face your fears whenever you can. Notice the powerful urge to avoid, and don’t give in to it.

In most situations, it is worse for you and your life to avoid what you are afraid of instead of facing it.

Taking those small, positive, steady steps to banish your fear will do wonders to calm down your brain and your life.

Did you know the 12 Steps, which have helped millions find recovery, can also help you find peace and serenity? Check out our latest book, Find Your True Colors In 12-Steps.

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Measure Drug Usage In Human Waste

What is a new, real time way to measure drug usage? If you are trying to determine community drug usage in Any Town, USA, you would probably have to rely on the results of survey responses, overdose reports, and drug-related crime stats, all of which could underreport use. Not to mention that it can take months if not years for results to be analyzed and interpreted. Currently, the Department of Health and Human Services estimates that more than 28 million people over the age of 12 consumed illegal drugs in 2016, but a new way to collect data shows the rates may be far greater. A research team at Murray State University in Kentucky is using a faster and cheaper method to determine near real-time data on drug consumption in individual communities.

Drug Usage Revealed In Sewage Epidemiology

To do this, researchers use “sewage epidemiology,” or wastewater analyzation. A research team led by Bikram Subedi, Ph.D., analyzed sewage water in two Kentucky towns about 50 miles apart. The goal of the study was to determine drug use rates, whether drug use increased during holidays or celebrations, and if the two towns would have different results.

Drug Usage Spikes During Festivities

Researchers went to the sewage treatment plants in both towns to collect samples which were then filtered and analyzed with mass spectrometry and high-performance liquid chromatography. The study results showed that townspeople used drugs like cocaine, marijuana, and methamphetamine at significantly higher rates during the 2017 solar eclipse and the Fourth of July. However, what drugs were used and in what quantity differed greatly between the two towns.

Oxy and Meth Use Far Greater Than Thought

When researchers performed calculations based on the results of their tests, they found that levels of methamphetamine consumption were far greater than previously thought as was the percentage of people who consume methamphetamine and amphetamine. In fact, usage was estimated to be as much as four times higher than government estimates. Kentucky has extremely high prescription opiate rates, so a very high consumption of opiates like oxycodone, morphine, Percocet, and hydrocodone was also found.

Wastewater Analyzation Coming to a Town Near You

The sewer water method can also be used to find drug use hotspots within a town by analyzing sewer water before it gets to a treatment plant and can be used to determine a source is a hospital or a troubled neighborhood. The method is reportedly widely used in Europe and researchers say it needs to be used more here. The analytical method used allows scientists to determine the identity and concentration of a particular drug or drugs in a sample.

National Waste Water Testing

The researchers say that they want to expand wastewater testing across the country, but it will require population data to be tracked so particular changes can be accounted for, such as a town receiving a large number of tourists for an event. The researchers presented their findings at the 256th National Meeting Exposition of the American Chemical Society (ACS).

One of today’s most deadly substances, Fentanyl is showing up everywhere, even in litter on playgrounds. ROR’s pop-graphic Fentanly Poster is a smart way to keep the public informed. Perfect for libraries, doctors offices, schools, and government buildings.

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Ben Affleck Talks About His Addiction

From Jodi Guglielmi @ People: Addiction is a long-running struggle for Ben Affleck — and he’s spoken out about it in the past.

Before entering rehab again on Wednesday, Affleck, 46, had been spotted attending meetings at various treatment centers and working with a sober coach over the last year.

“There’s no shame in getting help,” he wrote in a Facebook post in 2017 after a previous stay in treatment.

Of his new stay in rehab, a source told PEOPLE, “He is seeking treatment. He knew he needed help and was vocal about it.”

“This is a lifelong battle, not one that he takes lightly,” an Affleck friend, who said he’s been in “continual” treatment, previously told PEOPLE.

Affleck’s first time in rehab was in 2001. In March 2017, he announced that he had completed treatment for alcohol addiction a second time.

“I have completed treatment for alcohol addiction; something I’ve dealt with in the past and will continue to confront,” Affleck wrote on Facebook. “I want to live life to the fullest and be the best father I can be. I want my kids to know there is no shame in getting help when you need it, and to be a source of strength for anyone out there who needs help but is afraid to take the first step.”

In November 2017, Affleck ex Jennifer Garner and his brother Casey helped the actor go back into inpatient treatment for a few days.

“He asked for help,” a family source told PEOPLE at the time. “He wants to be sober.”

Affleck has been open in the past about how his father’s alcoholism affected him growing up.

“[My father] was an alcoholic… I did know that as a child. He drank a lot. My father was a — what did they call him — a real alcoholic. He, you know, drank all day, drank every day, and to his credit, he got sober ultimately,” he told Barbara Walters in a 2012 interview. “He’s been sober for several decades, which I think is pretty impressive.”

“[He] turned his life around in a very laudable way,” Affleck told The Mail on Sunday in 2008. “But having such serious addiction issues has a major impact — it colors who you are and becomes a part of you.”

Affleck has credited his brother and best friend Matt Damon for helping him get through the tough times.

“I had good friends. I had Matt Damon, I had my brother, and I had a nucleus of friends that I grew up with and I had support from,” he told Walters.

Affleck has also been able to lean on Garner, 46, for support, despite their pending divorce.

“For Jen, it’s simple. She wants Ben to be the best dad possible to their kids,” Violet, 12, Seraphina, 9 and Samuel, 6, said a family source. “She wants Ben to be healthy.”

On Wednesday, Garner, 46, visited Affleck’s home and drove him to a treatment facility in Malibu.

A source tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue Garner’s focus remains on their children.

Did you know the 12 Steps, which have helped millions find recovery, can also help you find peace and serenity? Check out our latest book, Find Your True Colors In 12-Steps.

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My Grief Recovery Started With A Car

My grief recovery started out with an 83 Mustang GT with a 351, all set up to drag race. Returning to my love of cars and racing marked the beginning of my rebirth after the colossal loss of my parents and the end of a bad relationship.

The Car Brought Me Back To Life

She was beautifully restored and with the engine upgrade. She was also a little snotty. I named her “Foxy” as a play on her foxbody chassis style. Before taking her to the track, I took her to a local cruise night – a place where car enthusiasts came together to admire each other’s work and just talk cars.

Grief Recovery Had Been Slow

I had tentatively started to consider how to get back into the world. What did I want to do next? Ending a relationship and losing parents set me adrift. On the whiteboard in my office I listed my strengths and brainstormed all the possible avenues I could follow. I had worked with at risk individuals, empowering them on their own paths. Now I was doing this for myself. I wasn’t at all sure how my future of helping others would manifest; I just set it in motion.

Cruise Night Presented A New Opportunity

At the cruise night with Foxy all buffed up and shiny, I met two guys who had brought a brand-new Mustang to the party. We became fast friends as we chatted excitedly about our rides. They were intrigued by this girl who loved cars and drag racing. The conversation turned to occupations, and when they asked what I did for a living … I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t really doing anything but living.

After All I Am An Educator

I managed to mention that I was on a new path as an educator who loved working with the at-risk population. Breaking into grins, my new friends asked if I had ever considered teaching in a prison. Actually, no … I didn’t even know that was a possibility! As it turned out, they were correctional officers who had both just retired from a local correctional facility. They gave me the directions, names of contacts and instructed me to show up with my resume in hand. They even let me use their names as references! And so it began, go figure. In the middle of loving cars, I found an unexpected path.

The Car Launched Recovery

The picture that they took of me and Foxy at the cruise night would become my profile picture when I started online dating. It would be the picture that my boyfriend saw and recognized as a girl he met years before at a racing banquet. His opening line would be, “Let’s meet again.”

And just to think, it all started with a car. Where are you going to start?

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Mel B Clarifies Her Rehab News

From Samantha Schnurr @ E! News: After announcing plans to seek professional treatment, Mel B is clearing up some confusion.

The Spice Girls alum clarified her plans to enter a therapy program in her native Britain while appearing on The Ellen DeGeneres Show with guest host Lea Michele. In a preview of her interview slated for air on Wednesday, the America’s Got Talent judge said her announcement got “a little bit skewed with.”

“I’ve been in therapy since my father got diagnosed with cancer nine years ago,” she told Michele. “My therapy changed a little bit because I was in a very intense relationship, which you can all read about in my book,” Mel continued, referencing her marriage and subsequent contentious divorce from ex Stephen Belafonte.

“I do address a lot of those issues. But you know, no, I’m not an alcoholic. No, I’m not a sex addict,” she continued on the show. “You know, I was with the same person for 10 years and that was quite a turmoil, very intense. That’s all I can say about it. I’d like to say a lot more, but we’re on this show—let’s keep it P.C. But yeah, I address a lot of those issues [in the book] and I did kind of have to ease my pain…I do suffer a lot from PTSD.”

As a result, the star has decided to enter a “proper therapy program” in the coming weeks, as she told The Sun.

“I’ve been working with a writer on my book, Brutally Honest, and it has been unbelievably traumatic reliving an emotionally abusive relationship and confronting so many massive issues in my life,” she said in remarks issued to the newspaper. “I am being very honest about drinking to numb my pain, but that is just a way a lot of people mask what is really going on.”

As her explanation continued, “Sometimes it is too hard to cope with all the emotions I feel. But the problem has never been about sex or alcohol—it is underneath all that.” Mel B noted she has been at a “crisis point” and that she was recently diagnosed with PTSD.

“I am still struggling but if I can shine a light on the issue of pain, PTSD and the things men and women do to mask it, I will do,” the mother of three added. “I am working on being a better version of myself for my kids—whom I love more than life itself—and for all the people who have supported me.”

Did you know the 12 Steps, which have helped millions find recovery, can also help you find peace and serenity? Check out our latest book, Find Your True Colors In 12-Steps.

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Fear Stalks Adult Children of Alcoholics

Why is fear such a common bond among adult children of alcoholics? More importantly, how do we overcome the terror of so many things that stalk us throughout life?

Safe Fears

Heights, spiders, tight spaces – they all make me break out in a sweat. Most people would run away from a tarantula-filled glass elevator. Also easy to understand are fears relating to my younger brother, Ricky, who struggles with alcohol use disorder (AUD) and being bi-polar. There are many aspects of his behavior to fear.

I’m often afraid:

That he will start drinking again…
That I’ll become an alcoholic …
Of saying the word “Whiskey” around Ricky
Of planning a family celebration near a bar

Other fears I have are also common among family members of substance users. Before Ricky went to rehab, I was afraid he would call me in the middle of the night to telling me he’s killed someone.

Even that fear is something I’m comfortable sharing because it’s not about me. It doesn’t make me vulnerable.

More Fears That May Arise From My Past

Last week, I woke up from a horrible nightmare in which my husband, Peter, was leaving me for another woman. The dream was so real that I was bothered by it for most of the day. This nightmare made me realize that Peter’s leaving me is secretly one of my greatest fears. It controls what I say and how I say it to Peter. I feel as if I am walking on eggshells. Is fear of rejection and abandonment normal?

As a kid, I was afraid of everything – the dark, coyotes, being yelled at, being spanked, and getting kidnapped. I would lay awake at night reading my Bible, too scared to leave my room and ask for help. I just thought this was part of being a kid. What are normal fears for healthy adults?

The Benefits of Fear In Active Addiction

Addiction in my childhood taught me that I had to be good all the time so as not to upset the dangerous people in my life. It made me a people pleaser, not a me pleaser. As a grown-up, I’m learning that being co-dependent as a default way of behaving has given me a false sense of safety. I can’t really control other people’s behavior. Old habits of mine that have nothing to do with the present, like letting Peter pick the restaurant every time so he won’t be upset, gives me an ongoing excuse to be play the victim. Making sure Ricky isn’t tempted to drink gives me the idea I have some control over this disease.

What Can I Do About My Fears

Now that I am aware of my fear, where it comes from, and associated behaviors, I have some decisions to make. Am I latching on to this unhealthy tendency because I don’t know how to voice my needs and wants? Am I using my past’s alcohol-induced childhood as a crutch for letting other’s wants and needs come first? Most importantly, will I do something different? Can I do something different. Can I stop being afraid of being me?

Facing My Fears

Several months ago, I walked across a bridge in a 5K race supporting Breast Cancer Awareness. Up until that moment, crossing bridges had been another one of my fears. That day my breath was shallow; my eyes focused only on the friend who was with me; and I walked as far from the edge as possible. I didn’t like it, but I made it. Facing that fear gave me a sense of power and confidence that perhaps I could face other fears.

Facing realistic fears can make you learn more, accept what’s happening and take action. Understanding fear can give you a sense of empowerment and gratitude.

If you need help to resolve your fear, check out Recovery Guidance to locate professionals near you.

 

Did you know coloring can help you find peace and serenity? Check out Reach Out Recovery’s latest book, Find Your True Colors In 12-Steps.

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Opioid Prescription Guidelines Revised

It’s clear that inappropriate opioid prescription guidelines used by physicians have fueled the current opioid crisis. For years, Doctors have prescribed painkillers in a one-size-fits-all fashion even though some research has shown that up to 80 percent of the opioid prescriptions written to patients are not used, the Baltimore Sun reported.

A panel from Johns Hopkins Hospital believes opioids have a place in controlling debilitating pain, but

considering that half of the patients who don’t need opioid drugs for pain relief leave the hospital with a prescription anyway, it wants to promote other ways to fight pain instead, such as direct to site pain

relief and use of less addictive pain medications.

The hospital has developed new prescribing guidelines for at least 20 types of procedures. These new

recommended guidelines will be the default electrical medical system settings, replacing the current

default of a 30-day supply for surgical patients.

Opioid Scripts for 20 Procedures Reduced

30 pharmacists, pain specialists, surgical residents, surgeons, outpatient surgical nurse practitioners and patients made up the panel, which recommends that opioid prescriptions for procedures from

orthopedic surgery to ear, nose, and throat procedures be reduced to:

 One to 15 pills for 11 procedures

 16 to 20 pills for six types of procedures

 No pills for three types of procedures

The hospital hopes the new guidelines will facilitate other hospitals and surgical associations to update

their own prescribing policies to reduce the number of opioids that patients are exposed to.

U.S. Government Wants Opioid New Prescription Guidelines

Prescribing guideline changes may be far more effective than recently proposed policies by the Centers

for Medicare and Medicaid which seek to restrict the number of prescription opioids patients have

access to, including by having insurers deny coverage for certain prescriptions.

The first proposal would have insurers deny Part D coverage for more than a 7-day script for first-time

opioid users. The second proposal would deny payment for opioid prescriptions through Part D that arelarger than the equivalent of 90 MME (milligrams of morphine). While patient’s whose scripts are

rejected could still have their prescription and Medicaid which seek to restrict the number of prescription opioids patients have access to, including by having insurers deny coverage for certain prescriptions.

The first proposal would have insurers deny Part D coverage for more than a 7-day script for first-time opioid users.

The second proposal would deny payment for opioid prescriptions through Part D that are

larger than the equivalent of 90 MME (milligrams of morphine). While patient’s whose scripts are

rejected could still have their prescription paid by Medicare, they would have to appeal the decision and provide an acknowledgment from their physicians that they qualify for an exception that allows for

higher doses, such as being terminally ill.

However, scores of physicians have spoken out against the policies saying they would harm patients

with chronic pain and would do little actually to reduce the addiction epidemic. In fact, when

prescriptions are lowered or denied, some stable patients may be forced to self-treat with street drugs.

Forcing patients into the black market and making cancer patients and the terminally ill wait for pain

relief or pay out of pocket isn’t a solution. Patients didn’t start the epidemic, and they shouldn’t be the

ones to suffer knee-jerk policies that offer no proof of being able to rectify the crisis.

The post Opioid Prescription Guidelines Revised appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

How To Avoid Prescription Drug Problems

From Psychology Today:

Most drug deaths involve prescription medications, usually opioids, but other pharmaceuticals as well, including benzodiazepines and antidepressants, sedatives and sleeping pills (like Ambien), but also drugs as diverse as Viagra and alkyl nitrites (street name “poppers,” used to treat angina), nearly always in combination with one another or other drugs.

Here is a short list of prominent drug deaths with their toxicology report contents: Tom Petty—fentanyl, oxycodone, temazepam, alprazolam, citalopram, acetyl fentanyl and despropionyl fentanyl; Carrie Fisher—cocaine, methadone, ecstasy, alcohol, antidepressants, and opiates; Philip Seymour Hoffman—heroin, cocaine, benzodiazepines, amphetamines; Amy Winehouse—alcohol, benzodiazepines; Heath Ledger—oxycodone, diazepam, hydrocodone and doxylamine.

How can one avoid negative outcomes from prescription drugs, including deaths such as these?

First, let’s go over basic safeguards:

1. Don’t get multiple prescriptions for the same drug from different providers.

You probably already know that this is illegal and inadvisable medically. If you feel your medication isn’t working sufficiently well, discuss this with your primary care physician.

2. Clear all drugs through one medical provider/pharmacist.

It isn’t just doubling up on the same medication that can cause problems—there can be perilous interactions among different drugs. So you should have a primary care physician and one source for pharmaceuticals, both of whom keep track of all of your prescriptions.

3. Even under a physician’s care, increasing dosage more than once is a red flag.

Although it is not uncommon for a doctor to increase your dosage of a medication after you and the physician note your initial reaction to it, repeatedly upping the dosage is a danger signal. If this occurs express your concerns to your provider—you must be your own protector.

4. Indeed, sensing that a medication isn’t working/having the desired effect is a warning sign.

When you note that your psychiatric medication is not doing what you were told it is supposed to do, either switch medications, or else seek non-pharmaceutical alternatives.

5. Above all, never mix sedatives/tranquilizers/alcohol/ painkillers.

The overwhelming cause of what is termed “overdose” is the result of mixing narcotic painkillers with other narcotics (including heroin), sedatives (e.g., Ambien), tranquilizers (benzodiazepines such as Xanax) and/or alcohol. Don’t risk it.

Now let’s review some basic psychological principles for keeping you unhooked:

6. Maintain your general lifestyle and health.

Addiction both results from and causes deterioration in your mental health and functioning. So make sure that you keep up with your obligations—your work, your family, your exercise, your recreation—and stay healthy.

7. Seek psychotherapy or other alternative therapies (e.g., sleep or pain clinics, exercise).

Psychiatric medications will only go so far in remedying your problems. You also need to address the basic issues of your life—family and other relationships, sleeping, non-pharmaceutical pain relief and work satisfaction.

8. Select a nonmedical partner to discuss the impact of your meds on your life.

While you must keep your physician and pharmacist in touch with your prescription use, you need also to check in with at least one person who knows you well. Your spouse, your adult child or any intimate can be your “pharm-buddy.”

9. Remember, pharms are not your natural mind at work.

There is a real you beneath the drugs’ effects. Of course, your consciousness or physical sensations may be unpleasant or dysfunctional for you—that’s why you got a prescription. Do your utmost to remain connected to the real, unmedicated you.

10. Suicide can be more subtle than you think.

All of the above points assume that you want to live. But suicides are included in prescription drug overdose statistics. I can’t tackle and resolve such a serious topic in this brief space. (That would take a book.) I will note here that, to some extent, misusing meds is like incremental suicide, even when you are not intentionally trying to kill yourself. Be aware of this with every mood or pain drug you take.

In the 21st Century, medications to make people of all ages feel better are commonplace—and growing more so. You must always be mindful that your reliance on such meds is not dominating—even consuming—the rest of your life. You can never lose sight of basic life satisfaction as your primary goal. Always retain your focus on the pillars of that satisfaction (i.e., relationships, work, play, health, family, community, self-love, purpose).

There are no shortcuts for gaining life satisfaction; the search for such shortcuts is addictogenic.

Remember, the first rule of medicine is to do no harm. You should have the same rule for how you deal with yourself.

The post How To Avoid Prescription Drug Problems appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.