Leslie Glass's Blog, page 342
August 17, 2018
Having Problems? Reach Out Recovery Can Help
If your family has problems, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve been there, and we can help you cope. Addiction is a family disease that affects generations whether the loved one is using or not. For many of us, the effects of addiction show up as abuse, unemployment or arguing. For others, it poses as break-ups, heartbreak, and custody battles. Welcome to a place where you can find support and solutions.
Know Where To Go Next?
Reach Out Recovery has something for everyone, and our site is designed to take you from one helpful article to the next. Many of our visitors begin in one of these popular categories:
Abuse
Adult Children Of Alcoholics
Boundaries
Codependency
Grief
Family
Relationships
We are best known for our original content, and our top articles have been read by millions. If you’re not sure where to go, this list of our top ten is a great place to start:
Ten Ways To Break The Narcissist’s Spell
Six Relationship Red Flags
25 Lasting Effects Of Childhood Emotional Abuse
Not Prepared For Son’s Life After Overdose
Gaslighting Tango
Excuses That Keep You Caged
Ten Signs Of Dysfunctional Families
Seven Sneaky Ways You May Be Abused
Six Ways To Know The Ones You Love Don’t Love You Back
Toxic Family Dynamic
We partnered with the University of Maryland and Harvard’s Recovery Research Institute to bring you the latest facts on today’s most dangerous substances. Locally, we’re working with area science teachers and behavioral health experts to develop our Teen Health section.
Explore On Your Own
Use the magnifying glass in the top right corner to search for any topic. You can also use our topics menu to browse our site.
Who Is Reach Out Recovery?
We are real people who have overcome various different addictions. Through recovery, we got our lives back, and now we want to help you. By trade, we are writers and creatives. We search for the latest recovery tips, facts, and tools. Then we restate that information for you in the simplest terms.
We are not therapists or a treatment center. We will not track you down and stage an intervention. When you browse our website, you are safe. Thanks to recovery, we have restored relationships, peace, and serenity. We simply want to share our strength, hope, and experience with you.
How To Connect
We also have a fabulous Facebook page that is updated daily. We post links to our new articles, inspirational quotes, some fun memes, and heartwarming videos. It’s a respite from the dirt and grime of everyday life, and it’s a great place to find other people who have been through similar problems.
So welcome to Reach Out Recovery. Take a few minutes to look around and get your bearings. Whether you have a family crisis, want to learn more about addiction, or are just researching for a “friend,” you are right where you need to be.
The post Having Problems? Reach Out Recovery Can Help appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Does Your Family Have A Problem?
If your family has problems, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve been there, and we can help you cope. Addiction is a family disease that affects generations whether the loved one is using or not. For many of us, the effects of addiction show up as abuse, unemployment or arguing. For others, it poses as break-ups, heartbreak, and custody battles. Welcome to a place where you can find support and solutions.
Know Where To Go Next?
Reach Out Recovery has something for everyone, and our site is designed to take you from one helpful article to the next. Many of our visitors begin in one of these popular categories:
Abuse
Adult Children Of Alcoholics
Boundaries
Codependency
Grief
Family
Relationships
We are best known for our original content, and our top articles have been read by millions. If you’re not sure where to go, this list of our top ten is a great place to start:
Ten Ways To Break The Narcissist’s Spell
Six Relationship Red Flags
25 Lasting Effects Of Childhood Emotional Abuse
Not Prepared For Son’s Life After Overdose
Gaslighting Tango
Excuses That Keep You Caged
Ten Signs Of Dysfunctional Families
Seven Sneaky Ways You May Be Abused
Six Ways To Know The Ones You Love Don’t Love You Back
Toxic Family Dynamic
We partnered with the University of Maryland and Harvard’s Recovery Research Institute to bring you the latest facts on today’s most dangerous substances. Locally, we’re working with area science teachers and behavioral health experts to develop our Teen Health section.
Explore On Your Own
Use the magnifying glass in the top right corner to search for any topic. You can also use our topics menu to browse our site.
Who Is Reach Out Recovery?
We are real people who have overcome various different addictions. Through recovery, we got our lives back, and now we want to help you. By trade, we are writers and creatives. We search for the latest recovery tips, facts, and tools. Then we restate that information for you in the simplest terms.
We are not therapists or a treatment center. We will not track you down and stage an intervention. When you browse our website, you are safe. Thanks to recovery, we have restored relationships, peace, and serenity. We simply want to share our strength, hope, and experience with you.
How To Connect
We also have a fabulous Facebook page that is updated daily. We post links to our new articles, inspirational quotes, some fun memes, and heartwarming videos. It’s a respite from the dirt and grime of everyday life, and it’s a great place to find other people who have been through similar problems.
So welcome to Reach Out Recovery. Take a few minutes to look around and get your bearings. Whether you have a family crisis, want to learn more about addiction, or are just researching for a “friend,” you are right where you need to be.
The post Does Your Family Have A Problem? appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
3 Arrested For Fentanyl-Laced Synthetic Marijuana
From WABC New Haven, Connecticut: Three people have been arrested after a rash of overdoses blamed on a suspected bad batch of synthetic marijuana sickened nearly 100 people in New Haven, Connecticut.
New Haven Police Chief Anthony Campbell told WTNH that an additional 19 people overdosed in the city on Thursday, bringing the total to 95 overdoses in the past two days.
The victims started falling ill Wednesday morning, mostly on the New Haven Green near Yale University.
“Do not come down to the Green and purchase this K2,” Campbell said. “It is taking people out very quickly, people having respiratory failure. Don’t put your life in harm.”
No deaths have been reported, and officials said most patients have been discharged.
“We literally had people running around the Green providing treatment,” said Rick Fontana, the city’s emergency operations director.
Yale-New Haven Hospital Dr. Kathryn Hawk said some patients tested positive for the powerful opioid fentanyl, but it appears most of the overdoses were caused by a potent batch of straight “K2” synthetic marijuana.
Toxicology tests are not yet complete. Police have not released the names of the suspects.
Some of the New Haven victims tested positive for the powerful opioid fentanyl, also blamed for overdoses, but authorities believe this week’s overdoses were caused solely by synthetic marijuana.
“New Haven is a place where we really are trying to help people,” Campbell said. “Someone … with malice in their heart took advantage of that, took advantage of this vulnerable population. But that will not stop this city from reaching its hand out to those who are in need and treating them and providing those services.”
New Haven first responders were called to a similar overdose outbreak on the Green on July 4, when more than a dozen people were sick from synthetic marijuana. The city also saw more than a dozen synthetic marijuana overdoses in late January. No deaths were reported in either outbreak.
Synthetic marijuana, which generally is plant material sprayed with chemicals that mimic the high from real marijuana, has been blamed for overdoses across the country.
In May, more than 50 people in Brooklyn overdosed on K2, none fatally.
The post 3 Arrested For Fentanyl-Laced Synthetic Marijuana appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
August 16, 2018
Retelling Church Sexual Abuse Brings Back PTSD, Anxiety And Closure
“I said, ‘Oh my god, that happened to me,’” Lennon remembers. But even that moment, he says, didn’t prepare him for the memories that resurfaced in 2010 — an avalanche that he believes was triggered by his twin daughters turning 12, the age around which he says he was raped by a priest. “It sent me into a lot of emotional problems of depression, crying for several months, fear, anxiety, nightmares, PTSD, all the symptoms,” Lennon says.
There are thousands of survivors of church abuse like Lennon. Most recently, sweeping reports of sexual abuse perpetrated by members of Pennsylvania’s Roman Catholic church have forced survivors across the country to grapple with memories of their own abuse — an often painful process that a psychologist says can unearth long-hidden feelings, and potentially worsen symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.
While talking and thinking about abuse can be uncomfortable but ultimately therapeutic for people who have already processed bad memories, it can be newly traumatic for those who have avoided confronting their past for years or even decades, says Edna Foa, a clinical professor of psychology in psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania’s Perelman School of Medicine.
“If you haven’t processed the trauma sufficiently, you are likely to have symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder” including nightmares, agitation, avoidance of triggers and low self-esteem, Foa says. “[Talking about it] one time isn’t sufficient to process it, so it may worsen PTSD and symptoms.”
For people like Lennon, who avoid thinking about what happened to them, a sudden reminder like what’s been in the news can be a “kind of waking up the memory, and that can make them worse,” Foa says. Individuals in this position who experience persistent psychological symptoms and distress that impairs daily life should see an expert who specializes in PTSD, Foa says.
Lennon, who is now 71 and the president of the Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests (SNAP), says it’s “not difficult now at all” to talk about his childhood trauma, which he chalks up to years of therapy, working with SNAP and rehashing his story time and time again.
“I’m a strong believer that telling our stories helps us get stronger, that it’s easier to name the crime and name the criminal,” Lennon says. “It’s easier to understand that guilt, shame and humiliation are burdens that you don’t need. Telling somebody will help you understand that it wasn’t your fault.”
John Delaney had a similar experience. Delaney, 47, says he was abused by a priest from his Philadelphia parish starting at the age of 11. He says he told his parents at the time, but they were unsupportive. In 2003, he says he reported the abuse to the church, but again got nowhere. He didn’t come forward again until 2005, when a friend recounted his own story of abuse for a grand jury report about clergy sexual abuse in Philadelphia, and Delaney felt inspired to stand with him.
Going public wasn’t easy, Delaney says, but it was invaluable.
“I’m 48 years old this year, and I’m still picking up the pieces and figuring out how to make them work. It was hard coming forward. It was very, very hard,” he says. “It doesn’t go away, but you learn how to live with it a lot better.”
Even still, Delaney says news about the latest grand jury report, which cited at least 1,000 identifiable victims, has been hard to stomach. (In a statement, a spokesperson for Pope Francis called the abuse detailed in the report “criminal and morally reprehensible” and said the Catholic Church “must learn hard lessons from its past, and there should be accountability for both abusers and those who permitted abuse to occur.”)
“It was so hard to watch. It reopened some old wounds,” Delaney says of the news. “It ripped off some Band-Aids. I feel for these other victims.”
Foa says that’s a common reaction, even for someone who has largely worked through their own trauma. “It’s always sad and somewhat distressing, but not with overwhelming distress,” she says. “If they had closure and have successfully processed it and put it behind them for all these years, the upset would be temporary and will go down.”
And while reaching that point may take work for many survivors, Foa says the psychological benefits are worth it.
Patients who are “able to think about it from a different perspective over the years, they end up not blaming themselves,” Foa says. “People that don’t allow themselves to think about it, whenever those thoughts come, they try to push them away. They don’t give themselves an opportunity to kind of get to the conclusion, to judge the whole situation and receive the whole situation within the context of the whole situation.”
Foa says the path toward closure may be smoother if victims know their story will contribute to justice or a greater good — a feeling that both Lennon and Delaney say they share.
“Speaking out is my way of fighting back,” Lennon says. “It’s sort of a process of getting over the fear and anxiety, the guilt, the shame, humiliation. So many victims and survivors are burdened by that. It restricts them from telling people.”
Delaney, meanwhile, says he wants to use the hardships of his own life — he says his childhood abuse contributed to a 30-year struggle with addiction and multiple incarcerations — to help others overcome theirs.
“I’m a relatable Philly guy. I wanted people to put a name and a face to this so they didn’t forget this happened,” he says. “It’s been helpful for other people, and that was my goal: If I can do it, anybody else can come forward and do it.”
SNAP provides resources and support groups for survivors of institutional sexual abuse. Survivors can also call the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network’s 24/7 hotline at 1-800-656-4673.
The post Retelling Church Sexual Abuse Brings Back PTSD, Anxiety And Closure appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Money Worries? Help Is On The Way
Do you have money worries no matter how much you earn, or how good your life seems? Do you keep wondering why you just can’t get out of debt? Do your money worries drive you to drink or to take substances to ease the pain? Does despair over debt cause you or someone you love to risk losing recovery and relapse? You’re not alone.
Money Worries Plague Us All
Occasionally we hear about ten-year-olds who have made fortunes and know what to do with it, but most of us are not born with money managing skills. Balancing a check book? Who can do that with fifteen credit cards and online payments? Most of us are great when it comes to depositing, but forget what withdrawals mean. I know I do. Who doesn’t tend to think there’s more in that checking account than there really is?
Money Worries Are Compounded With Substance Use
Any family that has Substance Use or Behavior Use Disorder (addiction) faces terrifying wreckage that impacts everyone. Money worries, however, can be assuaged. You can get the monster of your raging finances under control. If you are new to recovery, or your family is wrecked because of addiction, you can find your way back. Take your head out of the sand the road to financial recovery can begin. Here are a few ROR articles to start answering the questions you have.
What Is Problem Spending
Compulsive spending is not what happens when people indulge for occasions like birthdays, Christmas or other holidays. Problem spending is something that occurs year round. Relentless, buying with no real need or purpose is the reality. If you recognize yourself as someone who “needs” to shop, you are are not alone. In fact, studies find that about 1-10% of the U.S. population suffers from this disorder, with the majority (50-90%) of problem spenders being women. Read More
Fear Of Finance Be Gone
For most of my life I had the dread disease of FOF, which simply stated is Fear Of Finances. When I entered DA, one of the things I related to immediately was all the talk about vagueness around money. I never knew how much money was really in my bank account. I was always shocked when taxes came around, and I lived in complete fear of normal things like opening my mail, and paying bills. It’s not so bad when you know what you’re doing. Read More
How I Got Financial Recovery
Why would anyone need financial recovery? Substance use was only part of it. I traveled the road from privileged to pampered to spoiled to entitled to enabled to troubled to difficult to enraged to destructive to nervous breakdown. Some time my 30s, I found myself sober but messy, fragile and broke. I’d gone through all my savings. This put me on a path I never ever imagined I’d go on. I had always been loose with money but now the tricks I had for robbing Peter to pay Paul were far more dangerous than when I actually had the money, or credit to pay it back. Read More
Financial Safety When A Loved One Uses
It’s crucial to have financial safety when your loved one has a substance use disorder. Protect your finances and possessions so that you don’t have serious problems down the road.
Drug abusers (and some people with behavior addictions) need money all the time to support their drug of choice. Here are some of the ways they use their families to get it. What to do: Read More
The 5 Phases of Compulsive Spending
The 5 phases of compulsive spending take you through the highs of an actual addiction. And if you’re a compulsive spender, you’re not alone on this rollercoaster ride. The 5 phases of compulsive spending are what make it so compelling. It’s not just one moment. It’s the whole process. Donald W. Black, author of A Review of Compulsive Buying Disorder, notes that there are 4 phases of compulsive buying: “1) anticipation; 2) preparation; 3) shopping; and 4) spending.” We add a fifth phase, which is remorse. These are stages that are also seen in other addictions (now known as use or process disorders). Read More
The post Money Worries? Help Is On The Way appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
What Long-Term Cannabis Use Can Do To Your Brain
Cannabis use is a topic of fervent debate among researchers. As the drug is being legalized in an increasing number of countries, and as its medicinal properties have come into sharp focus, the experts ask to what extent it and its medicinal derivatives are helpful, and to what extent harmful.
Some use cannabis for recreational purposes, whereas others use cannabis-based drugs or essential oils to relieve chronic pain or treat epilepsy.
Recently, scientists at two academic institutions — Universidade de Lisboa in Portugal and the University of Lancaster in the United Kingdom — have conducted a study into long-term use of cannabis and its potential dangers.
The scientists’ findings — published in the Journal of Neurochemistry — indicate that there is one important danger: regular cannabis use could impair a person’s memory.
Going forward, as cannabis compounds are increasingly legalized and marketed for therapeutic use, we should consider what the downsides of cannabis use may be and how to address them, says study author Ana Sebastião.
Pitting potential harms against benefits
In the new study, Sebastião and colleagues focused on one cannabinoid-like compound called WIN 55,212-2 and observed its effects on the brain.
The researchers worked with a mouse model and found that, after long-term exposure to this drug, the rodents displayed “significant memory impairments.” They were actually unable to distinguish between an object that they should have been familiar with and an object newly introduced to them.
By using brain imaging techniques, the researchers also saw that this drug affects brain regions that are involved in processes of learning, storing, and accessing memories.
Chronic exposure to this substance, explain Sebastião and team, further affects the brain, impairing the “communication” between brain regions that drive learning and memory.
“Importantly,” notes Sebastião, “our work clearly shows that prolonged cannabinoid intake, when not used for medical reasons, does have a negative impact in brain function and memory.”
“It is important to understand that the same medicine may re-establish an equilibrium under certain diseased conditions, such as in epilepsy or multiple sclerosis, but could cause marked imbalances in healthy individuals.”
Ana Sebastião
“As for all medicines, cannabinoid-based therapies have not only beneficial disease-related actions, but also negative side effects,” she adds.
A need for preventive strategies
These findings follow from previous research conducted by Sebastião’s team, which also found that long-term cannabinoid use affects recognition memory. This is the type of memory that allows us to recall people or things that we have already encountered.
In their other study, the researchers even suggested a way of offsetting this negative outcome: by using a caffeine-related drug.
“These results are very important for the development of pharmacological strategies aiming to decrease cognitive side effects of currently used cannabinoid-based therapies, which proved effective against several nervous system disorders,” notes Sebastião.
In the future, the scientists hope that a better understanding of cannabinoid drugs’ harmful effects will lead to the development of strategies to counteract them.
“This work offers valuable new insight into the way in which long-term cannabinoid exposure negatively impacts on the brain,” says study co-author Neil Dawson.
“Understanding these mechanisms,” he adds, “is central to understanding how long-term cannabinoid exposure increases the risk of developing mental health issues and memory problems; only its understanding will allow to mitigate them.”
The post What Long-Term Cannabis Use Can Do To Your Brain appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Bleak New Estimates In Drug Epidemic: A Record 72,000 Overdose Deaths In 2017
From The NY Times:
Drug overdoses killed about 72,000 Americans last year, a record number that reflects a rise of around 10 percent, according to new preliminary estimates from the Centers for Disease Control. The death toll is higher than the peak yearly death totals from H.I.V., car crashes or gun deaths.
Analysts pointed to two major reasons for the increase: A growing number of Americans are using opioids, and drugs are becoming more deadly. It is the second factor that most likely explains the bulk of the increased number of overdoses last year.
The picture is not equally bleak everywhere. In parts of New England, where a more dangerous drug supply arrived early, the number of overdoses has begun to fall. That was the case in Massachusetts, Vermont and Rhode Island; each state has had major public health campaigns and has increased addiction treatment. Preliminary 2018 numbers from Massachusetts suggest that the death rate there may be continuing to fall.
But nationwide, the crisis worsened in the first year of the Trump presidency, a continuation of a long-term trend. During 2017, the president declared the opioid crisis a national public health emergency, and states began tapping a $1 billion grant program to help fight the problem.
“Because it’s a drug epidemic as opposed to an infectious disease epidemic like Zika, the response is slower,” said Dan Ciccarone, a professor of family and community medicine at the University of California, San Francisco, who studies heroin markets. “Because of the forces of stigma, the population is reluctant to seek care. I wouldn’t expect a rapid downturn; I would expect a slow, smooth downturn.”
A large government telephone survey suggests that around 2.1 millionAmericans had opioid use disorders in 2016, but that number may be an undercount because not all drug users have telephones and some may not mention their drug use because of the stigma. Dr. Ciccarone said the real number could be as high as four million.
The number of opioid users has been going up “in most places, but not at this exponential rate,” said Brandon Marshall, an associate professor of epidemiology at the Brown University School of Public Health. “The dominant factor is the changing drug supply.”
Strong synthetic opioids like fentanyl and its analogues have become mixed into black-market supplies of heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine and the class of anti-anxiety medicines known as benzodiazepines. Unlike heroin, which is derived from poppy plants, fentanyl can be manufactured in a laboratory, and it is often easier to transport because it is more concentrated.
Unexpected combinations of those drugs can overwhelm even experienced drug users. In some places, the type of synthetic drugs mixed into heroin changes often, increasing the risk for users. While the opioid epidemic was originally concentrated in rural, white populations, the death toll is becoming more widespread. The penetration of fentanyl into more heroin markets may explain recent increases in overdose deaths among older, urban black Americans; those who used heroin before the recent changes to the drug supply might be unprepared for the strength of the new mixtures.
“Even when you think you’re doing better, all it takes is one bad batch of fentanyl in any state and you’re going to have deaths,” said Mark Levine, a physician and the health commissioner of Vermont, which has made major investments in addiction treatment but still experienced a spike in deaths in 2016. Last year, deaths fell slightly there.
According to the C.D.C. estimates, overdose deaths involving synthetic opioids rose sharply, while deaths from heroin, prescription opioid pills and methadone fell.
In much of the West, overdose deaths have been flatter as the epidemic has raged in parts of the East and Midwest. That geographical pattern may be a result of the drug supply. Heroin sold west of the Mississippi tends to be processed into a form known as black tar that is difficult to mix with synthetic drugs. The heroin sold toward the east is a more processed white powder that is more easily combined with fentanyls.
Overdose deaths rose sharply in several mid-Atlantic and Midwestern states. In Ohio, Indiana and West Virginia, where the opioid death rate has been high for years, overdose deaths increased by more than 17 percent in each state. In New Jersey, they rose 27 percent.
The C.D.C. numbers for 2017 are an estimate, not a final count. The federal government collects death records from states throughout the year. But some deaths can take longer to investigate than others. The C.D.C. adjusts early numbers based on the number of deaths still under investigation by assuming a predictable proportion of them will turn out to be drug overdoses based on past experience. Using deaths that are confirmed, the agency measured a 10.2 percent increase in overdose deaths between 2016 and 2017. Using its adjusted data, the increase was 9.5 percent.
There are reasons for optimism that the recent increases in overdose deaths will not continue. The monthly C.D.C. numbers suggest that deaths might have begun leveling off by the end of the year. Continuing funding may help more states develop the kind of public health programs that appear to have helped in New England.
“There’s a lot of money going into the system, and it takes some time for this to translate into new infrastructure,” said Chris Jones, the director of the national mental health and substance use policy laboratory. “That’s particularly true for places where it wasn’t already there.”
In Dayton, Ohio, a hot spot for the epidemic, public health officials are seeing signs of progress. After instituting a new emergency response strategy — and drawing from new federal and state grant funds — the county health department has documented reductions in overdose deaths, emergency room visits and ambulance calls of more than 60 percent between January 2017 and June of this year.
The county has reduced medical opioid prescribing; increased addiction treatment resources; expanded community access to an anti-overdose drug called naloxone; and provided addiction treatment to prisoners in its county jail, among other measures.
Barbara Marsh, the assistant to the Dayton and Montgomery County health commissioner, says she hopes the trend will hold, and provide some lessons for other parts of the state. “It’s definitely wait and see,” she said. “We want to continue seeing a decline.”
Congress is debating a variety of bills to fight the epidemic. Many of the measures, which have passed the House but have not reached the Senate floor, are focused on reducing medical prescriptions of opioids, and are meant to reduce the number of new drug users. But the package also includes measures that could expand treatment for people who already use opioids.
The epidemic could also intensify again. One worrying sign: Dr. Jones said there is some early evidence that drug distributors are finding ways to mix fentanyl with black tar heroin, which could increase death rates in the West. If that becomes more widespread, the overdose rates in the West could explode as they have in parts of the East.
The post Bleak New Estimates In Drug Epidemic: A Record 72,000 Overdose Deaths In 2017 appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Heave Ho To Back-To-School Co-dependency
Watch out for the teacher’s pet of co-dependency this season. Why now? Sending kids off to face another year of bullying classmates and challenging teachers triggers our need to protect them. Or more accurately, OVER protect them. In other cases, maybe we just want a calm, quiet morning, so we do a little more for them just to keep the peace. Unless we are doing these things because of our own desire to connect, we end up feeling exhausted, disempowered or resentful … anything but loved.
When hurtful co-dependency patterns are cloaked in tradition, guilt and anxiety join the party and we quickly can feel overwhelmed and underappreciated. While connecting is important to well-being, when we prioritize others’ desires over our own, we run the risk of alienating everyone. It’s a double-edged sword.
Here 10 Ways To Break The Co-dependency Patterns That Can Hurt Us
Detach. Step back from the busy-ness of the day and give yourself the gift of space.
Check-in. How are you feeling in this moment?
Be curious. Leave judgment behind and replace it with genuine curiosity and wonder. It stops the hamster-on-the-wheel thoughts that continue to go ‘round and ‘round.
Get connected to your own body. Where in your body are you feeling tension or stress? Do you have an ‘elephant on your chest’, a tightness in your neck and shoulders or does your lower back ache? Connect the emotion with the physical sensation of where it is in your body and discover how your body responds. In this way, when you start to feel a tingling you know that the situation or conversation is unhealthy for you.
Acknowledge. Know that you are doing the best you can right now … and so is everyone else.
Listen. Just stop talking.
Eat. Nourish yourself with wholesome food and stay hydrated.
Sleep. Give your body a chance to rest, rejuvenate and heal itself.
Spend some time being you. What do you look forward to during the holidays? Spend some time doing those kinds of things every day. When you fill yourself up, it is your overflow that nourishes others; you are not depleting yourself to care for others.
Be grateful. Meet the day with fresh eyes – like you are experiencing everything and everyone for the first time.
Take that first step away from co-dependency and move toward autonomy by prioritizing yourself. Teach others how to treat you by treating yourself well. Try it!
Did you know the 12 Steps, which have helped millions find recovery, can also help their loved ones find peace and serenity? Check out our latest book, Find Your True Colors In 12-Steps.
The post Heave Ho To Back-To-School Co-dependency appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
August 15, 2018
The Power To Heal
Yesterday, a reader new in recovery asked us to share the image of a model who was encouraged to draw designs on her thighs instead of cutting herself. I loved the idea of transforming pain into artistic expression for a new kind of beauty. I immediately posted the image. What is the difference between body art in the form of tattoos and body art from henna or pens, or jewelry, I thought? Who could object? Body art has been around since the beginning of time, after all.
Hate Hurts
But then I saw the chain of hundreds of comments about this image, many of them hateful, both about cutting, hurting oneself, and girls’ bodies. The Internet provides the perfect platform for saying whatever you want and not holding back. The take-away from these particular comments might lead a person to think that the manly way to hurt oneself is to drink, drug, and assault others. That way everybody gets hurt. Is that not pretty sick, too? We live in a world of hurt, no question about it. Presidential candidates say whatever they want and then insist they are good guys without malice. It’s a kind of gas lighting. Let’s not let anyone get away with gas lighting.
Who Has The Power To Heal
We all do. Words have the power to hurt, but they also have the power to heal. Every single one of us has choices every minute of every day. Will we feel bad or better? Will we harm others or help? As the world seems to get crueler and more dangerous, there is a kinder side and solidarity emerging, too. People are sharing resources, tools, and inspiration like never before. They are fighting back. In our field, exploring questions about addiction, relationships, pain and recovery are allowing us to understand and find relief. Support no longer depends on buying a self help book and trying to apply it on our own. Support is everywhere, and will spread farther if we actively support it.
Ten Ways To Heal
Turning pain and grief into art is one rich resource we’re hearing about more and more every day. Grown ups are coloring, learning musical instruments, singing, painting, knitting. This is recovery we don’t see reported in the news. You name it. Lost resources for artistic expression are being uncovered. Creativity that used to be a part of everyday life is new again and provides healing. What kind of creativity provides the courage to change?
Writing: journaling helps to understand, refocus, and express feelings
Music: singing, learning a musical instrument and listening bring joy and feeling back and inspire people to get out of themselves
Comedy: laughing is a great source of joy and promotes health in every way–as long as humor isn’t turned against someone else
Recovery art: any kind of artistic endeavor has the power to heal both those who need an outlet for expression and those who see the work, whatever form it takes
Animals: working with animals, having them as friends and family members are a daily source of healing
Inspirational Quotes: who doesn’t love them and feel just a little bit better when we see them in our feed
Inspirational Images: people make and share beautiful symbolic images and they, too, have the power to heal
Video: videos that show love, caring, rescues and other stories of positivity also have the power to improve daily quality of life
Cooking: what a creative act cooking can be
Reading: you’re reading now
Add the love of nature, the God of one’s choosing, and the support of other people into the mix and recovery offers it all.
Did you know the 12 Steps, which have helped millions find recovery, can also help you find peace and serenity? Check out our latest book, Find Your True Colors In 12-Steps.
The post The Power To Heal appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
How Long Does It Take To Heal
Eighteen months. That’s how much time researchers say it takes to heal. Eighteen months for each stress inducing life event. Be it marriage or divorce, birth or death, diagnosis or remission; the fact is that the body doesn’t know “good” stress from “bad” stress. The time allotment is the same for each: eighteen months.
When too much happens too quickly and the stressors are multiplied, there can be overwhelm and eighteen months can stretch into thirty-six or forty-eight. Which, in turn, can be cause for more overwhelm. The process of healing is one that takes time, and it takes the time it takes.
Time To Heal Takes Time
When eighteen months seems to pass slowly, the tendency is to rush decisions and go along with what others want. We tell ourselves that enough time has passed and we are ready to move forward without any kind of real conviction. There’s a period of elation and it appears from all outward signs that we have healed…. right up until we run into another stressor. It’s usually something minor – an aside comment, a breakdown in communication, a flat tire – and we’re right back down the rabbit hole. Better to give ourselves permission to take the full eighteen months to heal and when we’re chomping at the bit to get back into life, we’ll know we are truly ready to take on whatever comes our way.
Learning Patience
Taking action and getting back on the court of life can only really be accomplished when we are invested in the forward progress. Indecision and waffling often occurs when we are trying to reach someone else’s finish line.
Healing Is An Individual Process
There is no right way to heal, there’s only your way. Give yourself permission to take at least eighteen months to find out what that means for you. Be committed to curiosity and not judging, fixing or rushing. Eighteen months. Take them.
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