Leslie Glass's Blog, page 300

6 Ways to Practice Hygge, the Danish Secret to Happiness

There isn’t an exact translation for the Danish word hygge (pronounced HOO-GA), but you’ve definitely felt it before—maybe while playing a board game with friends on a snowy night, or curled up in front of a fireplace with a cup of tea and a really good book. Hygge has been described as “coziness of the soul,” and for the Danes—who are considered the happiest people on the planet (despite their long, hard winters)—it’s a way of life, says Meik Wiking, chief executive officer of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen.

In his Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living ($20; amazon.com), Wiking outlines practical ways to embrace the buzzy philosophy (“hygge” made the shortlist for Oxford Dictionaries Word of the Year in 2016) and its key ingredients: togetherness, presence, indulgence, relaxation, and comfort. “[Hygge] is basically like a hug, just without the physical touch,” he says. What it really comes down to is making the most of little, daily pleasures, especially when it’s dark and freezing outside. Below are six of Wiking’s tips for adding more hygge to your everyday life.

Create A Cozy Atmosphere

“Danes are obsessed with interior design because our homes are our hygge headquarters,” says Wiking. The one thing every hygge home needs? A “hyggekrog,” or a cozy nook where you might enjoy your coffee and newspaper. You can also bring hygge to your space through candlelight, nature, and rich textures. “Danes feel the need to bring the entire forest inside—leaves, nuts, twigs, animal skins,” says Wiking. “Letting your fingers run across a wooden table or a warm ceramic cup is a distinctly different feeling from being in contact with something made from steel, glass or plastic.” In other words, log cabin chic has hygge written all over it.

Stock A Self-Care Emergency Kit

Instead of coming home after a particularly rough day and veging out in front of Netflix, try a self-care ritual that increases the R&R you get from your downtime. Wiking recommends creating a kit that contains comfort things like candles, quality chocolate, herbal tea, a soft blanket, warm wool socks, a page-turner, or a notebook and pen, or a photo album. All of these things allow you to wind down in a more mindful way.

Learn A Craft

Knitting is super hygge, since its slow, steady rhythm is calming for many people, says Wiking. It helps you focus in a laid-back way. But if you can’t see yourself with knitting needles, there are plenty of other hygge pastimes. “Crafts in general are hygge, especially if you do them with a friend,” says Wiking. “It’s a chance to slow down and make something handmade.” Try painting, making a collage, or quilting during a night in.

Make A Hygge Treat

Hygge foods are all about pleasure. Think cookies, cake, and pastries. (“Danes love freshly baked goods,” says Wiking. “They don’t have to look professional. In fact, the more rustic the better.”) Slow, rich food—like stews and chili—are also hygge. Even more hygge than eating these foods is making them with friends and family. Wiking suggests starting a cooking club instead of throwing traditional dinner parties. “When everyone gathers and cooks together instead of one person hosting, it maximizes the hygge. It’s a relaxed and informal evening,” says Wiking.

Start A New Tradition With People You Love

Togetherness is a big part of the hygge concept. To facilitate more time with friends and family, create a new tradition that involves a hygge activity (that is, one that encourages everyone to connect and feel comfortable). That could mean organizing a game night, renting a cabin, going apple-picking, or taking a ski trip. “Any meaningful activity that unites the group will knit everyone more tightly together over the years,” says Wiking. “Hygge is making the most of the moment, but it’s also a way of planning for and preserving happiness. Danes plan for hygge times and reminisce about them afterwards.”

Practice gratitude

Hygge and gratitude go hand in hand. The philosophy entails feeling thankful for the little things, like a bike ride on a beautiful day, or a cup of hot chocolate, or re-watching your favorite movie. “Research shows that people who feel grateful are not only happier but also more helpful and forgiving and less materialistic,” says Wiking. “It’s all about savoring simple pleasures.”

The post 6 Ways to Practice Hygge, the Danish Secret to Happiness appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

These Are The Best Ways To Improve Your Memory

From Time:

All day every day, your brain is bombarded with new information. Confronted with this tsunami of sensory and cerebral input, it’s no wonder much of it slips through your memory’s grasp. But if you feel like you’re forgetting more than you should—or if you just want to pump up your retention and recall—there are some science-backed ways to improve your memory.

Start with exercise. A recent study appearing in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that just 10 minutes of light exercise was enough to increase patterns of brain activity associated with memory improvements.

This adds to a big pile of evidence linking physical activity with improved memory and overall cognitive functioning. “Our research has shown that significant memory gains emerge when individuals engage in regular aerobic exercise for 50 minutes three times a week,” says Sandra Bond Chapman, a distinguished professor and director of the Center for Brain Health at the University of Texas at Dallas. Exercise improves cerebral blood flow—even after you’ve finished your workout—which aids memory as well as other brain functions, Chapman’s research shows.

Adequate sleep is another necessary ingredient for a healthy mind and memory. But allowing your mind some free time to ponder new information also seems to be helpful.

A small 2018 study found that when people were allowed to sit quietly and zone out for 10 minutes after looking at a series of photographs, their “fine detail” memory for the photos was superior to the memories of people who were asked to complete an unrelated 10-minute task after viewing the same pictures. Basically, the idle time seemed to bolster people’s memories of the photos.

“The brain continues to process and replay past experiences during immediate post-learning rest periods,” says Lila Davachi, a professor of psychology at Columbia University. “This is like effortless mental rehearsal.”

Davachi was not involved with the study. But some of her own research suggests that small mental timeouts can assist recall. Even a few seconds of idle time—meaning time when your brain is not being confronted with new or stimulating information—may be enough to strengthen its memory for information you’ve just encountered, she says.

If you’re constantly jumping from one mental task to the next without giving your brain a break to squirrel away what its learned, it’s not surprising that those kernels of memory won’t be there when you go searching for them later on.

If all this makes you wonder whether checking your email or social feeds during every free moment could be messing with your memory, your head’s in the right place. A 2017 study from Stanford University found that heavy media multitaskers—those who spend a lot of time using multiple forms of media at once, like listening to a podcast while surfing online—tend to do worse on tests of working memory and long-term memory than light media multitaskers. More research finds that relying on your device’s GPS functionality hampers your ability to navigate on your own. You can’t remember something well if you didn’t pay much attention to it in the first place, it seems.

But there are things you can do. Mindfulness meditation may help beef up your memory. One small 2013 study found that students who took a two-week mindfulness course improved their scores on a test of working memory. They were also better able to block out distraction. “It doesn’t take much mindfulness training to get a temporary boost in performance,” says Michael Mrazek, first author of the study and director of research at the University of California, Santa Barbara’s Center for Mindfulness & Human Potential. “Even eight minutes of mindful breathing can make you a little sharper,” he says.

“It is also important to avoid cruising on automatic pilot,” Chapman says. “Life moves fast, and we often compensate by falling into routine, sticking to the path of least resistance, and letting our thoughts, conversations and activities become stagnant.”

Your memory and the overall health of your brain are bolstered by novelty and “inspired thinking,” she says. Breaking away from familiar routines and challenging yourself with change is a good way to keep your mind from growing lazy.

Try this: After reading, watching or listening to something new—whether it’s a news segment or a podcast—try to “think deeply and formulate succinct take-away messages,” she advises. “Take some time to synthesize these new ideas and to update previously held views.”

Just as physical exercise strengthens your bones and muscles, this sort of mental exercise can build your mind and memory.

The post These Are The Best Ways To Improve Your Memory appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

What Is Addiction? And What Are Its True Causes?

From the American Council On Science And Health:

This country is, again, in the grip of an opioid drug addiction crisis. Individuals addicted to opioid drugs cause many social, economic, legal and health problems – including many drug-induced deaths. Everyone is concerned and everybody has a specific solution to the problem. Unfortunately, most individuals know little about what addiction actually is, and even less about what causes it. Let’s clarify some misconceptions and provide some scientific explanations.

First, what is addiction?

Addiction, or dependence, has a specific medical definition as documented in the diagnostic statistical manual, otherwise known as the DSM. However, in general terms, it can be characterized as an uncontrollable craving for a substance or drug, even when its use can result in negative health effects, or even death. This craving is caused by an overwhelming desire to experience euphoria, or to avoid unpleasant feelings. In contrast, the controlled use of such substances is not considered addiction.

Second, what causes this uncontrollable craving, which eventually leads to addiction?

Two hypotheses exist, and the word “substance” being used refers to FDA-approved drugs (e.g. OxyContion or oxycodone) as well as non-FDA-approved substances (e.g., heroin, LSD).  

The first hypothesis blames the substance as the sole cause of the problem. Here, use of a particular substance causes the individual to become slowly addicted to it. To cure addiction requires removing the drug from the individual, or the individual from the substance using physical restraint, or even jail. This approach is the belief of most legislatures, law enforcement officials and the majority of the lay population. It, however, has little common-sense support from those who view this dilemma with either a historical and scientific perspective.

Common sense tells us that use of a substance does not necessarily lead to its abuse. While many young people do experiment with alcohol or nicotine or other substances, most will not use them in the future at all, or in a controlled fashion where only a small minority will become addicted.

Scientific experiments and studies have demonstrated that drug exposure alone does not lead to addiction or abuse, except, again, in a minority of subjects. Making a substance illegal or eliminating its presence altogether, or incarcerating the users has historically been found to be of little value. Prohibition was a prime example, where alcohol was legally banned nearly a century ago but was still available from illegal sources (albeit often in adulterated form causing many severe health problems or even death).

In addition, prohibition bred corruption, crime and murder. Similarly, most deaths today from substance abuse are not caused by the legal drugs, but instead through the purchase of substances from illegal sources. It is here where the purity, dose and toxic impurities of the product are largely unknown; these substances are often highly toxic and potentially deadly.

As a nation, we have spent billions on the so-called “War on Drugs” and have jailed millions of people with drug problems over the last several decades – with no success whatsoever. At the same time curtailing legitimate drugs has the problem of punishing the innocent, like in the case of today’s opioid drugs where physicians have become afraid to prescribe pain medications to deserving patients. This dynamic has led to unnecessary suffering, which has even driven some to suicide in an effort to escape intolerable pain. Unfortunately, doctors withholding pain medication from needy patients continues to be done in spite of successive and ongoing failures.

The second hypothesis states that certain individuals are predisposed by genetic and environmental factors to seek the use of psychoactive substances – and to become addicted to them.

Here, only some individuals will develop this uncontrollable craving to obtain euphoria or to escape unpleasant feelings. The majority of the population will not. That portends that the individual – and not the drug – is in the center of addiction. This would explain that with exposure to a psychoactive substance, only a minority – not all – will become addicted to it.

Genetic studies already have found differences between individuals who are, or are not, addicted. Individuals suffering from mental health problems, like depression, are at higher risk of abusing drugs than healthier people. Further, studies have shown that drug abuse is more rampant in low-income, socioeconomic areas. Thus, to solve the problems of addiction requires treating it as an individual and/or medical problem.

Since we do not have the tools to genetically alter an addictive personality, we still can do a lot to help these addicted individuals. Improvement of socioeconomic conditions would be a start to help reduce the risk of addictive behaviors. Psychological and/or medical treatment of individuals at risk, or already afflicted, must be greatly improved.

It’s presently estimated that only 10% of drug abusers, due to limited financial resources, receive treatment. The National Institute of Drug Abuse estimated that treatment resulting in a reasonable success rate costs about $5,000 per year, while incarceration costs about $25,000 – followed by a large relapse rate. Eliminating many, or all, jail sentences would provide a lot of money to effectively treat addicted individuals.

The current success rate of such therapies is roughly 50%. This is not great. But applied to 22 million individuals diagnosed with a substance-use disorder, that would mean proper treatment could help 11 million Americans become drug-free and allow them the chance to again become functioning members of their families, workplace and community. As treatments improve, this number could increase.

It might also be wise for us to be accepting of some unorthodox therapies, like one that is practiced in Switzerland and tentatively in some other European countries. For instance, one calls for addicts receiving pure heroin, under medicinal control, from specific pharmacies. This program has been shown to significantly reduce crime, return many idle addicts back to work and drastically reduce drug-induced health problems and deaths.

Unfortunately, this approach has received little attention thus far. However, all indications show that it is greatly superior to the existing legal approaches. Moreover, it seems to be the only way to effectively treat addiction, help those who suffer from this disorder, and benefit society in general.

The post What Is Addiction? And What Are Its True Causes? appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Even In Best-Case Scenario, Opioid Overdose Deaths Will Keep Rising Until 2022

From The LA Times:

In the nation’s opioid epidemic, the carnage is far from over.

A new projection of opioid overdose death rates suggests that even if there is steady progress in reducing prescription narcotic abuse across the country, the number of fatal overdoses — which reached 70,237 in 2017 — will rise sharply in the coming years.

By 2022, these deaths would peak at around 75,400, and begin to level off thereafter, according to the new forecast.

And that’s the rosiest scenario. Under conditions that are only slightly less optimistic, the U.S. could see 81,700 opioid overdose deaths per year by 2025.

If the supply of prescription painkillers stops declining and there are other setbacks, researchers predict that yearly opioid overdose deaths could rise as high as 200,000 per year by 2025.

No matter how you slice it, the nation’s opioid epidemic “is not finished growing,” said decision scientist Jagpreet Chhatwal of Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital, who led the research.

“It’s far from over,” he said. “And it’s far from moving in the right direction.”

Almost two decades after the widening use of prescription painkillers began to fuel an epidemic of addiction, opiates are claiming an average of 130 lives a day in the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The driving force of the epidemic has changed. These days, an increasing proportion of overdose victims first got hooked on street drugs like heroin. And since 2016, the explosive growth of fentanyl — an illicit opiate that is highly lethal — has given the epidemic a new propulsive force.

Meanwhile, a vast population of Americans who were first exposed to opiates by prescription have continued to misuse the drugs over many years, said Dr. Donald Burke, who studies the American drug epidemic at the University of Pittsburgh and was not involved in the new research. Until these people either receive treatment or die of an overdose, they form a vast “reservoir” of potential victims for the spiraling epidemic, he said.

Indeed, the new modeling effort, published Friday in the journal JAMA Network Open, finds that slowing the epidemic’s upward trajectory before 2025 will require broad-based action, and more than a bit of luck.

The mathematical models that suggest a leveling-off of opioid deaths by 2022 requires, first, that medical and public health professionals continue to drive down the numbers of Americans who get their first taste of addiction from a legitimate pharmacy prescription. They also assume that fewer Americans will start on the path to addiction with an illicit street drug such as heroin, or that successful treatment for such addictions will surge.

Finally, this scenario assumes that progress in fighting the opioid epidemic won’t get blown up by some unforeseen trend, such as the appearance of a new and more lethal drug. In a market where illicit drugmakers are richly rewarded for introducing new products, narcotics such as the synthetic fentanyl — more addictive or more lethal than opioids already on the market — can appear seemingly out of nowhere.

In short, Chhatwal said, reversing the surging epidemic of opioid drug deaths will not be fast and it will not be simple. “Bending the curve” will likely require a multi-pronged effort that includes limiting the supply of prescription painkillers that get into patients’ hands, providing more and better treatments for the addicted, increasing the use of overdose-reversal agents like Narcan, and shutting off the flow of heroin and fentanyl pouring into the country.

“None of these interventions alone will have a substantial impact,” Chhatwal said. Indeed, his work suggests that even if doctors and pharmacists cut off all prescriptions of narcotic pain relievers — a far more radical step than would likely ever be implemented — overdoses would continue to mount until 2025, and possibly beyond.

Burke cautioned that the study’s assumptions about drug users’ behavior are “at best guesswork” and that the results “must be interpreted with caution.”

“While it is possible that [the epidemic’s] stabilization will occur sometime in the next decade, the U.S. has experienced four decades of exponentially increasing overdose deaths, so stabilization in the next 2 to 7 years may be more of a hope than a scientific reality,” he said.

For Georgyi Bobashev, a biostatistician at RTI International in North Carolina, the new model leaves many questions unanswered. At a time when health experts are struggling to clarify which measures work best to combat overdoses, studies that forecast the epidemic’s growth have limited value.

“But we need more modeling,” said Bobashev, who was not involved in the research. “We cannot afford to wait till we get perfect data. When we have such a crisis of this magnitude, we need as much analysis and as many forward-looking models as possible.”

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Forgiving Without An Apology

Approximately 90% of the time, the people who hurt us will never apologize. Let’s say five percent of the time, they do apologize, but it’s incredibly awkward and falls short. So we basically only receive a healing amends about five percent of the time. We must learn forgiving is independent of apologizing.

What Forgiveness Isn’t

Forgiveness isn’t a reconciliation. Nor is it an invitation to let your offender waltz back into your life. Forgiving does NOTHING to change the person you’re forgiving, and it won’t take your pain away.  This quote, which has circled the web via social media, says it best:

“Forgiving you means I no longer dwell on what an a$$ho!e you are. It doesn’t mean you’re no longer an a$$ho!e.” – Unknown

New Ways To Think About Forgiving

Let’s look at Kathleen and her mother Sandra. When Kathleen was a teenager, Sandra left the family. She moved out of state and hasn’t been in touch for fifteen years. Thanks to social media, Sandra decided to find Kathleen and reconnect.

Kathleen is a mess of emotions. How can she forgive her Mom? Or ever trust her again? Kathleen is bitter and angry. Because Sandra left, Kathleen has life-long fears of abandonment and history of difficult breakups. Should Kathleen forgive her mom?

Sandra will never be able to undo the past. She’ll probably never be the Mom Kathleen dreams about. Even if Sandra could be that Mom, chances are Kathleen wouldn’t choose to cast Sandra in that role. Many times forgiving is so difficult because we can’t separate fantasy from reality.

Forgiveness Is Only The Beginning

Instead of ending a conflict, forgiveness is the beginning of another process. Forgiving someone else simply means you no longer expect them to change how they hurt you in the past.

Accepting reality is the first step to forgiving. The reality is Sandra left. If Kathleen says, “I forgive you for leaving,” it doesn’t make everything OK. It only releases Kathleen from collecting an outstanding debt. It’s more like saying, “I no longer expect you to pay for that mistake.” It doesn’t erase the mistake.

Expecting someone to pay for a mistake keeps us stalled in the past.

Once she forgives, Kathleen can move on to grieving the loss. That’s where Kathleen’s healing can begin.

Two Overlooked Keys To Forgiving

If we get stuck in forgiving or the hurt keeps replaying in our minds, one of two things are likely happening. Many times, we need to forgive ourselves for falling victim to the pain. We’re often harder on ourselves than we are on the one who hurt us. We think, “We should’ve known better. Or we should’ve done ___________________.” We deserve the same forgiveness everyone else does.

Second, obsessing and thinking stinking are common side effects of grief and pain. Just because we forgive with our heart doesn’t mean our brain will quit yapping about it. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we’ve already dealt with that issue. Recovery is a renewing of the mind and teaches us how to move. Programs like Al-anon, ACA, Nar-Anon, and Celebrate Recovery help the entire family learn to forgive and heal from addiction, abuse, and dysfunction.

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Questions Children Of Alcoholics Ask Their Therapists

“Will I be like my dad?” “My whole family are addicts; does this mean I’ll be one too?” Many children of an alcoholic parent are driven to “not end up like” that parent. Unfortunately, what we resist only persists.  These adult children often create a life that’s fertile for alcoholism or other addictive behaviors.

Anxiety, self-consciousness and low self-esteem prevail when thoughts are hyper focused on the negative or what we don’t want to become.

Many children of alcoholics believe that by simply avoiding the pit falls of the alcoholic parent, it will result in them not ending up with an alcohol addiction. Too many times, however, the result is that they too are addicts.

5 Reasons Why Adult Children Struggle

Because adult children of alcoholics work so hard at not being like dad and or mom, they’re blinded by denial. They refuse to accept these five realities:

Their role models in the home environment are often flawed individuals. Their parents cannot provide them with the coping skills necessary to develop a healthy life.
Many are in survival mode.  When they grow up, they often resort to escapist coping activities similar to those of their parents: substance abuse, poor anger management and violence.
They often voice frustration at not being able to handle the addicted parent in a normal parent/child relationship.
Often times adult children must care for their parents. Who will be there for them if they aren’t?
Adult children feel trapped in such relationships. They need support and guidance to help break the cycle of addiction (which can include codependency – an addiction to people.)

How Therapy Can Help Adult Children

The challenge for a therapist is to re-focus such negative thoughts onto creating a life that the child of an alcoholic. Often, this is a daunting perspective as these children can only see what’s in front of them and how the alcoholism is impacting their lives right now. It’s in their lack of life experience that they can get stuck.

Fortunately, therapists can contribute a great deal in helping children to become unstuck. It is through their guidance of a child’s own self-discovery that they will uncover the life that they want, instead of trying to avoid the life that they don’t want.

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New Knowledge Could Help Predict And Prevent Depression

From Science Daily:

In a new study, researchers from the Danish iPSYCH project demonstrate that people with the highest genetic propensity are over two and a half times as likely to be treated in a psychiatric hospital for depression compared to people with the lowest propensity. This knowledge could be utilised to strengthen preventative efforts for those who are at risk.

In Denmark, 15.5 per cent of woman and nine per cent of men receive treatment for depression at a psychiatric hospital at some stage of their lives. Depression is a common but very serious condition which is very costly for both the individual and society as a whole.

Researchers have now completed a study in which they followed 34,500 Danes for up to 20 years and measured their genetic risk for developing depression.

“The study showed that the risk of being treated for depression at a psychiatric hospital was more than two and a half times higher for people with a high polygenic risk score,” explains professor at iPSYCH and contributor to the study Esben Agerbo.

Polygenetic means that the disease is not connected to only one disease gene, but to many genes. Put another way, it means there are many genes that determine whether a person is predisposed to developing depression.

Easier to identify people

“We know that depression is partly determined by genetic factors, and today it’s possible to measure the genetic propensity directly — rather than having to rely on family history as a way of guessing at genetic disposition for developing depression,” explains Esben Agerbo.

The polygenetic score was not related to factors such as mild, moderate, severe or psychotic symptoms, treatment setting or age at the first hospital visit, which could mean that these aspects are determined more by environmental factors.

The results of the study have just been published in the scientific journal JAMA Psychiatry.

“Our hope is that by utilising genetic information in conjunction with known risk factors in the environment, we will be able to develop better methods to identify people who are at risk of developing depression,” says postdoc at iPSYCH, Katherine L. Musliner, who is behind the study.

However, the results also show that the relationship between genetics and mental illness is complex. There is no ‘ depression gene’ and even those with the highest genetic propensity will not necessarily develop depression.

“The ability to identify people with an increased risk of developing depression is useful, because it will make it possible for us to target preventative efforts towards the people who will benefit most from them,” says Katherine L. Musliner.

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Florida Gets F In Teen Smoking Prevention

From CBS: Florida excels at many things, like beautiful beaches and a good quality of life, but one thing we fall short on is smoking.

The American Lung Association released their annual “state of tobacco control” report today, and Florida is in the doghouse.

The state is behind in efforts to reduce smoking, especially among younger generations.

The grade from the American Lung Association: “F.” And that “F” is not for “Florida” — it is F as in “Fail.”

The grade was based off a couple of factors:

Lack of tobacco prevention and resources for quitting smoking
Lower taxes on tobacco products compared to other states
And a legal smoking age of 18 compared to the suggested 21

The American Lung Association also targeted the Food and Drug Administration for not taking stronger action to stop e-cigarette and tobacco use by teens.

What The FDA Has To Say

“The FDA remains fully committed to significantly reducing tobacco-related disease and death and has made tremendous progress on this front through our comprehensive plan on tobacco and nicotine regulation – with ambitious public health goals for 2019. In the last year alone, the agency has advanced work to render cigarettes minimally or non-addictive, announced historic plans to ban menthol in cigarettes and cigars, and is exploring additional product standards.‎ The FDA in recent months has also taken an escalating series of unprecedented actions to stop youth use of tobacco products, especially e-cigarettes, advanced policies to increase access to, and use of, medicinal nicotine products to help people quit smoking, and has launched several adult and youth-focused tobacco public education prevention and cessation campaigns.”

Smoking has gone up a lot among young people. In November, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that vaping by high school students had increased by 78 percent. That means 3.6 million students are using e-cigarettes.

Senior Almir Hrnjic says he sees kids vaping at school. “I always see kids in the bathroom hitting juuls and all that stuff. I mean, kids talk about it to around the hallways and stuff. It’s not really like a private thing or anything.”

When we asked students at Northeast High School how many of their peers vape, nearly all of them said the same thing.

Gary Schultz said, “Kids in the high school, at least 50 percent. At least 50 to 60 percent have them. Not even kids that are supposed to have them. Mostly the younger kids I’d say.”

Isaiah Millstein said the same. “At least 50 percent juul on the regular like they keep it with them.”

As did Kevin Kirton “Oh like at least half. At least half. I am 100 percent confident.”

And The Trend Shows No Signs Of Slowing Down

“I think it just started as one cool kid who started doing it. And then it just sort of became a bigger thing over time. It’s just a rebellious thing I think, a general rebellious thing. It’s a new thing, and kids just want to do that,” said Kirton.

And the implications of e-cigs are just beginning to be understood.

“It’s an early product like the years haven’t been by, like the cigarettes have been by for us to know about what happens,” said Millstein. “We’ve seen what’s happened with people’s lungs but we haven’t seen whats happened with vapes because they are just coming out in the past five, six years.”

And that’s also because there has been little research around these fairly new products.

The American Lung Association has even pointed that out, saying in part that effects still need to be determined.

“While much remains to be determined about the lasting health consequences of e-cigarettes, there’s evolving evidence about the health risks of e-cigarettes on the lungs — including irreversible lung damage and lung disease,” the association said. “The American Lung Association is very concerned that we are at risk of losing another generation to tobacco-caused diseases as the result of e-cigarettes.”

But one thing that is clear: nicotine harms a developing brain, and our brains continue to develop through age 25.

And potentially the biggest concern and side-effect of vaping is developing “popcorn lung.”

The medical condition causes scarring and narrowing of lung tissues and airways. There is no cure, the damage is irreversible, and it is considered life-threatening.

One of the causes of popcorn lung is inhaling diacetyl, a chemical that used to be in popcorn to make its taste richer and more buttery. But, after the connection was discovered, most popcorn producers stopped using the chemical.

And now, many e-cig brands use diaectyl in their pods.

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7 Ways To Independently Love Another

Maintaining individuality in a loving relationship requires quite a bit of self awareness and sensitivity all around. If you’re codependent or an adult child of an alcoholic (ACoA), you’re likely to be subsumed by the needs of your loved one. You start by never thinking of your own likes and dislikes. Next, boundaries go out the window altogether. Finally, the other person completely eclipses you, and you’re secretly full of resentments.

Maintaining Individuality Is A Balancing Act

Recovering from codependency requires me to be hyper vigilant about so many things. I have to be:

Aware of boundary setting: what behaviors are not okay with me.
Able to communicate my needs while still being concerned and caring for the other person’s well-being. I can’t be selfish.
Willing to let go of control and accept that relationships have two sides both with standards and expectations. I can’t be a dishrag and let my partner rule my life.

I had to do a lot of work to understand what my own individuality looks like. Through codependency recovery, I learned to value of my own self-worth and self-esteem. I defined my own likes and dislikes. Humility has taught me my right size. Most importantly,  I can only control my own actions. I can’t control the actions of others. There’s a lot to remember.

The poet Rainer Maria Rilke put it this way.

Once we realize that even between the closest human being infinite distance continues to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up if they succeed in loving the distance between them, which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky. A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his individuality.

An ideal intimate relationship, whether marriage, friendship, or partnership, follows this recipe:

Accepting the other person as an individual with wants, needs, and desires
Their needs and wants do not always coincide with our needs and wants

That is where respect is born and acceptance lives.

7 Tips For Maintaining Individuality In A Loving Relationship

Limit text messages to partner, spouse, friend. Do not to be over bearing and snoopy.
Limit phone calls.  Everyone works or has outside interests. You don’t need to be on the phone together at all times of the day. There will be plenty of time to discuss later.
Keep relationship with friends. Meet with friends on a regular basis, on the weekend too, without feeling guilty that a partner is on his/her own during a weekend night.
Have one’s own interest groups that have nothing to do with a partner, such as a book club, playing mahjong, or a special recovery meeting.
Go solo. Whether at the gym or learning a new skill by yourself, don’t worry about if your partner would enjoy it too. Rather share all these new experiences later.
Travel solo. Visit an out of town friend or family member on your own.
Be present. Make the most of your time together. When you’re with a partner, enjoy the moment. Don’t spend the time thinking of 10,000 other things that need to be done.

I am, and need to be, myself. And you are you. We can love each other with balance and care, as long as we can trust ourselves not to slip into old habits that can hurt.

The post 7 Ways To Independently Love Another appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

When A Loved One Leaves YOU

Why do active and recovering substances users often run away from loved ones trying to “Save” them? The truth is, no one feels good when they feel bullied and managed. Caring doesn’t feel like love when it comes in the form of someone telling you what to do. When a loved one leaves you, find other solutions when what you’re doing doesn’t work.

Professionals Are Trained To Manage Addiction Family Members Are Not

You may be offering solutions with the best of intentions, only to have your at-risk loved one calling you a mean bully (or a lot worse) as he slams the door on his way out. It’s like being left at the altar. Except worse. The bolter feels absolutely justified in taking off. The one left behind is hurt, baffled, and frightened. That would be me in the old days.

This Is A Really Good Time To Examine What’s Really Happening

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking only of what might happen to someone you love:

Will he come back?
Is he lost to you forever?
Can he survive without you?
What if he finds what he’s looking for, and you’re not included?
Doesn’t he love you, doesn’t he care?

These are the questions that could consume you. But, it’s a waste of time. Frankly, right now he or she doesn’t care about you at all. He only cares about what he feels is right for him; she only cares about herself.

So What About You

Getting left by a loved one, either in recovery or still active in addiction, is the perfect time for self-examination. I’m not saying this as someone who has never been fired by a son or daughter. Let’s just say, I’ve experienced the door slammed in my face a bunch of times. I used to think I was dying every time I tried to help and was rebuffed rather graphically.  My thoughts ran along these lines:

Oh My God, it’s terrible.
It’s awful.
Ungrateful beasts. Now I know why animals in the wild eat their young.

That was my old reaction. The new one is:

Nice break from the drama.
Either all will be well, or not. I am not the one in charge of the outcome.

This is a more comfortable place for me to reside. I know that More Will Be Revealed. And I’m okay with that.

What Do You Want For Your Life?

So, if you have been yelled at, rebuffed, walked out on by someone who doesn’t like your solutions for their life, then this is the time to relish the moment of quiet and find solutions for your own life.

The post When A Loved One Leaves YOU appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.