Leslie Glass's Blog, page 262

Why Marijuana Damages Young Brains –

It’s tempting to think marijuana is a harmless substance that poses no threat to teens and young adults. The medical facts, however, reveal a different reality.

Credit Jon Han

Recent efforts to legalize marijuana in New York and New Jersey have been stalled — but not killed — by disputes over how exactly to divvy up the revenues from marijuana sales and by worries about drugged driving. Those are both important issues. But another concern should be at the center of this debate: the medical implications of legalizing marijuana, particularly for young people.

Numerous studies show that marijuana can have a deleterious impact on cognitive development in adolescents, impairing executive function, processing speed, memory, attention span and concentration. The damage is measurable with an I.Q. test. Researchers who tracked subjects from childhood through age 38found a consequential I.Q. decline over the 25-year period among adolescents who consistently used marijuana every week. In addition, studies have shown that substantial adolescent exposure to marijuana may be a predictor of opioid use disorders.

The reason the adolescent brain is so vulnerable to the effect of drugs is that the brain — especially the prefrontal cortex, which controls decision making, judgment and impulsivity — is still developing in adolescents and young adults until age 25.

Learn Why Marijuana Affects Sperm

In addition, researchers now have a good understanding of how marijuana in particular affects the brain. The chemical in marijuana responsible for producing mood elevation and relaxation, THC, interferes with the exchange of information between neurons. Regular exposure to THC in adolescents can permanently change neuropathways that are related to cognition, including learning, attention and emotional responses. In some adolescents, it can also lead to long-term dependence.

This is why the American Academy of Pediatrics has warned against both medical and recreational use of marijuana by adolescents. (In adults, some medicinal forms of THC are approved for specific indications, such as nausea caused by cancer chemotherapy. The major nonpsychoactive component of marijuana, CBD, has been medically approved for specific types of epilepsy and other uses.)

The risk that marijuana use poses to adolescents today is far greater than it was 20 or 30 years ago, because the marijuana grown now is much more potent. In the early 1990s, the average THC content of confiscated marijuana was roughly 3.7 percent. By contrast, a recent analysis of marijuana for sale in Colorado’s authorized dispensaries showed an average THC content of 18.7 percent.

Learn Why Marijuana is As Addictive as Opioids

The proposals for legalizing marijuana under consideration in New York and New Jersey allow for use starting at age 21. While society may consider a 21-year-old to be an adult, the brain is still developing at that age. States that legalize marijuana should set a minimum age of no younger than 25. They should also impose stricter limits on THC levels and strictly monitor them.

Educational campaigns are also necessary to help the public understand that marijuana is not harmless.

Simply because society has become more accepting of marijuana use doesn’t make it safe for high school and college students. Cigarettes and alcohol, both legal, have caused great harm in society as well as to people’s health, and have ruined many lives. Marijuana may do the same. We must tightly regulate the emerging cannabis industry to protect the developing brain.

What Happens With Daily Pot Smoking

Kenneth L. Davis is the president and chief executive of the Mount Sinai Health System. Mary Jeanne Kreek is the head of the Laboratory of the Biology of Addictive Diseases atRockefeller University.

States that legalize it should set a minimum age of 25 or older.

From the NY Times

The post Why Marijuana Damages Young Brains – appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Why Marijuana Damages Young Brains

It’s tempting to think marijuana is a harmless substance that poses no threat to teens and young adults. The medical facts, however, reveal a different reality.

Credit Jon Han

Recent efforts to legalize marijuana in New York and New Jersey have been stalled — but not killed — by disputes over how exactly to divvy up the revenues from marijuana sales and by worries about drugged driving. Those are both important issues. But another concern should be at the center of this debate: the medical implications of legalizing marijuana, particularly for young people.

Numerous studies show that marijuana can have a deleterious impact on cognitive development in adolescents, impairing executive function, processing speed, memory, attention span and concentration. The damage is measurable with an I.Q. test. Researchers who tracked subjects from childhood through age 38found a consequential I.Q. decline over the 25-year period among adolescents who consistently used marijuana every week. In addition, studies have shown that substantial adolescent exposure to marijuana may be a predictor of opioid use disorders.

The reason the adolescent brain is so vulnerable to the effect of drugs is that the brain — especially the prefrontal cortex, which controls decision making, judgment and impulsivity — is still developing in adolescents and young adults until age 25.

Learn Why Marijuana Affects Sperm

In addition, researchers now have a good understanding of how marijuana in particular affects the brain. The chemical in marijuana responsible for producing mood elevation and relaxation, THC, interferes with the exchange of information between neurons. Regular exposure to THC in adolescents can permanently change neuropathways that are related to cognition, including learning, attention and emotional responses. In some adolescents, it can also lead to long-term dependence.

This is why the American Academy of Pediatrics has warned against both medical and recreational use of marijuana by adolescents. (In adults, some medicinal forms of THC are approved for specific indications, such as nausea caused by cancer chemotherapy. The major nonpsychoactive component of marijuana, CBD, has been medically approved for specific types of epilepsy and other uses.)

The risk that marijuana use poses to adolescents today is far greater than it was 20 or 30 years ago, because the marijuana grown now is much more potent. In the early 1990s, the average THC content of confiscated marijuana was roughly 3.7 percent. By contrast, a recent analysis of marijuana for sale in Colorado’s authorized dispensaries showed an average THC content of 18.7 percent.

Learn Why Marijuana is As Addictive as Opioids

The proposals for legalizing marijuana under consideration in New York and New Jersey allow for use starting at age 21. While society may consider a 21-year-old to be an adult, the brain is still developing at that age. States that legalize marijuana should set a minimum age of no younger than 25. They should also impose stricter limits on THC levels and strictly monitor them.

Educational campaigns are also necessary to help the public understand that marijuana is not harmless.

Simply because society has become more accepting of marijuana use doesn’t make it safe for high school and college students. Cigarettes and alcohol, both legal, have caused great harm in society as well as to people’s health, and have ruined many lives. Marijuana may do the same. We must tightly regulate the emerging cannabis industry to protect the developing brain.

What Happens With Daily Pot Smoking

Kenneth L. Davis is the president and chief executive of the Mount Sinai Health System. Mary Jeanne Kreek is the head of the Laboratory of the Biology of Addictive Diseases atRockefeller University.

States that legalize it should set a minimum age of 25 or older.

From the NY Times

Six Steps To Stop An Addiction To Sugar And Junk Food

From Psychology Today:

A new summit on sugar addiction launches this week.



Is Junk Food Addictive?

Are you addicted to junk food filled with sugar? Is that even possible? Is addiction driving the obesity epidemic? Many experts are coming together for a new Summit, The Kick Sugar Summit,this week from June 10 to June 15.

Addiction to food is a very controversial issue. There are many strong opinions in the medical field on both sides of the issue.

Dr. Nora Volkow, the Director of the National Institute of Drug Abuse, has done extensive research on addiction and obesity. She has concluded that addiction to foods, especially ones high in sugar and fat, is real. She has done extensive research showing that the reward pathways in the brain are disrupted in people who are obese, especially those involving dopamine—sometimes known as the pleasure neurotransmitter. Dopamine is released when we do pleasurable things like eat, have sex, or use drugs. When people do these things too often, or in larger amounts than normal, the brain adapts and makes it harder to trigger this system. This leads people to use more and more in order to feel good. It leads to a vicious cycle of addiction.

An article in the European Journal of Nutrition reviewed some of the science and concluded that sugar addiction is not real. They claim that binging on so-called comfort foods only occurs in the context of food deprivation.  People on this side of the issue say obesity can be controlled by eating in moderation—even junk food every now and then.

Some make the argument that sugar has been around for centuries and people didn’t get “addicted” to it until recently. They claim that something else is to blame for the obesity epidemic, although no one seems to know what that is.   

Others point out that “sugar” is no longer sucrose, or table sugar, that our grandmothers used to bake homemade cookies. Instead, it’s highly processed sugars—high fructose corn syrup, dextrose, maltodextrin, and the like. There are also other chemicals and additives in most junk food. These have all been developed by food companies to make their foods more “palatable.” What does that mean? Some would say it means that it’s more addictive.  Food companies don’t want us to eat just one. They want us to eat the whole bag and go buy more.

What Does DSM-5 Say?

The bible of psychiatric diagnoses, DSM-5, lists many disorders of addiction. It does not include sugar or junk food among them. However, a new diagnosis that is included is binge eating disorder. This disorder is defined by episodes of binge eating that occurs at least once a week for at least three months. It must include three or more of the following:

Eating much more rapidly than normal.Eating until feeling uncomfortably full.Eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry.Eating alone because of feeling embarrassed by how much one is eating.Feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed, or very guilty afterward.

The full criteria are here.

Does this sound like addiction? If we replaced the “eating” in these criteria with “consuming alcohol or drugs,” most would see it as an addiction.

Binge eating disorder is now the most common eating disorder. It affects about 3 percent of the U.S. population. Women are twice as likely to have it as men.

If you feel you are addicted to sweets and junk food, what should you do?

Six Steps to Overcoming Addiction to Sugar and Junk Food

1. Recognize that you have a problem.

This is often easier said than done. When people are addicted to something, they have lots of good reasons to believe that what they are doing is fine. They make all sorts of excuses.

I deserve to relax after a hard day’s work. I think I’ll have a snack!

I’ve had an awful day and don’t really care about my health right now. I just need to feel better.

So, what makes it a problem?

If you are overweight or obese.If you eat more than you intend to.If you find yourself wanting snacks not because you’re hungry, but because you’re bored, or upset, or happy, or whatever. (The “eating can solve everything” attitude.)

2. Make a plan— cut back or abstain?

Overcoming an addiction is hard work. If you believe that some foods can be addictive for you, it’s probably best to avoid them altogether. We have learned with other addictive substances, like alcohol, that abstinence works best. Part of the cycle of addiction is the lack of control. Once you get started, you can’t stop. People end up eating or drinking more than they plan to. Acknowledging this lack of control is important.

However, we all hear the message that everything in moderation is fine. If you want to give moderation a chance, go for it. It’s important to set some concrete goals and see how you do. If you’re trying to cut back, make a plan for how much. Make it measurable. For example, only have three cookies for dessert two nights per week.

If your goal is abstinence, be clear with yourself about what you plan to abstain from. For example, I won’t have any cookies this week. This leaves open opportunities for other desserts, but that’s OK in the beginning. Alternatively, your goal might be “no dessert” for the week.  

If your goal is too broad and nonspecific, such as “I’ll be good this week and lose some weight,” it’s hard to make specific plans for how to accomplish this.  The more detail you can add to your plan, the better.

3. Remove temptation

We ask alcoholics to clear their homes of alcohol so that they can’t easily start drinking at their first craving. Sure, they can always go out and buy more. But for many people, putting some distance between the urge to do something and actually being able to do it can be helpful. In the 15 minutes that it takes to drive to the liquor store, the craving can go away. People can get a hold of themselves and drive back home.

This same advice goes for addictive foods.

4. Have a plan for cravings and triggers

It’s important to think about what drives you to eat addictive foods.

Is it stress?Is it work?Is it loneliness?

All of these things and others are common triggers. When people feel bad, they want to do something to feel better. Food can serve this purpose. However, although overeating can make you feel better in the moment, in the long run, it can lead to many problems—obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and most importantly, depression. This last one is important because it creates a never-ending cycle. You eat to feel better. It works in the short run. But in the long run, the overeating makes you more depressed. That, in turn, makes you want to eat more.  

5. Track results

Come up with a way to track your goals. It could be entering the data in your calendar. There are numerous apps out there to help. You can go with old-fashioned pencil and paper.

No matter what—be accountable and track your progress.

Track things that matter to you.

Staying away from certain foods.Losing weight.Feeling better.

If at the end of the week, you find that you forgot to track, it probably means that you also forgot your goals. Take this as a warning.

Tracking gives you an opportunity to observe what you’re doing and think about it. It also gives you an opportunity to see if your goals are leading to desired outcomes, such as feeling better or losing weight.

6. Get Help

If you just can’t seem to do any of this—if it seems too overwhelming or hopeless—please get help.

In particular, if you have an eating disorder, such as binge eating disorder, bulimia, or anorexia, you may feel you are “addicted” to foods. Unfortunately, it’s very difficult to overcome an eating disorder on your own. For some, they can be deadly. Professionals are available to help.

The Self-Medicating Drug Addict

From Psychology Today:

What to do when drug addiction masks deeper and more unsettling issues.

Imagine this: You go to the doctor with a serious cough, and he performs an exam on you that reveals that you have walking pneumonia. Would the doctor treat the cough, or would they treat the pneumonia? Smart money says that they would treat the pneumonia, because the pneumonia is the problem.

The cough was only a symptom.

The same holds true for some cases of drug addiction. In my 30 years of experience as a drug addiction specialist (I own and operate my own rehab facility and have treated thousands of addicts and alcoholics in my career), I’ve encountered, time and again, hapless souls whose journey into addiction began with the client being completely aware that something was terribly wrong with them, yet not knowing how to deal with it or—even worse—not having the resources to deal with it. For them, drugs and/or alcohol are little more than a coping mechanism that oftentimes quickly blossomed into newer and harsher problems that became the cure that almost kills them.

We use the term “self-medicating” when substances, drugs, or alcohol are abused in order to deal with the symptoms of a mental health issue. In order to understand how this happens, we need to break down the reasons why these people turned to them in the first place by identifying the psychological maladies they never knew they were afflicted with. As you are already probably aware, mental illness can go undiagnosed and untreated for long periods of time. I, myself, knew that I was genetically predisposed to mental illness (my mother was obsessive and a total love addict with my father; she desperately needed his attention and was jealous—he was more important to her than her own children), but I’d never consciously accepted the idea that the chemical imbalance in my own brain would one day make it my worst enemy; nor that I would ever succumb to what I like to call “the boiling frog effect.”

The boiling frog is a syllogism that centers around a frog being boiled alive. The premise is that since it is cold-blooded, if a frog is put suddenly into a pot of boiling water, it will jump out, but if a frog is placed into a pot of tepid water that is then slowly brought to a boil, the frog will remain oblivious of the danger and will, in turn, be cooked to death. We know for a fact that this is not true at all; thermoregulation by changing location is built into every animal’s survival strategies.

But, metaphorically speaking, it was not built into mine.

I developed a panic disorder. There came a time in my life where my anxiety ruled my world. I would spend countless nights lying awake in bed—all night—taking the smallest problems and catastrophizing them until all I could do was obsessively worry about them. The world was a dark place, and I saw no light at the end of the tunnel. And it wasn’t as if I’d woken up one day, and my entire worldview had shifted; this happened over time, like a cloud-front slowly moving in that eventually blotted out the sun. 

Or the proverbial frog that had no idea that someone had turned up the heat.

I was having breakfast with my family one morning when it dawned on me that I was probably obsessing so much that I couldn’t be with my own family and enjoy the moment, and with this realization came another: I probably needed help. I went to see a psychiatrist and, after a grueling two or three-hour session, we decided that perhaps an antidepressant was in order.

And, I’ve got to tell you, a week or two on that medication, and it was as if the skies parted for me, and I was finally able to get to the root of the issues I’d been tormented by and actually have a life.

Which begs the question, “How about the millions and millions of people who don’t know to seek help? What do they do?” The answer? They find ways to cope with whatever they’re experiencing: they self-medicate.

There are a plethora of undiagnosed mental health issues that everyday people are forced to walk hand-in-hand with, and not everyone has the wherewithal to seek professional help. Sometimes, all a person needs is to accidentally take something and feel okay—if only for a moment—for that person to start down the road of addiction. Don’t believe me? Here’s a laundry list of what I see on a day-to-day basis in my treatment center:

Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? Cocaine and methamphetamine increase focus, attention, and energy levels and, in some instances, actually calm a person down in much the same way prescription drugs like Ritalin, Adderall, and Vyvanse do (and these, too, are often abused as well).Sleep disorder? There are approximately 50-70 million adults in the U.S. who suffer from sleep disorders. And there are alcoholics who learn early on that, if you drink enough at night, you can sleep like a baby. If they are particularly crafty, they may discover prescription drugs like Valium, Xanax, Ambien, Lunesta, or Klonopin also do the trick. These drugs are also easy for an addict to abuse.Do you have anxiety? Our culture is quickly becoming one that throws alcohol and marijuana at many levels of anxiety, even those that are easily managed by diet or therapy or medications that don’t affect your mind or cognition.Chronic pain? It would surprise you how many people abuse opioids like Oxycontin, Vicodin, or the deadly Fentanyl for a pain that could just as easily be managed by aspirin.

I know Veterans who have known combat who turn to alcohol as their only relief from the torment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). For that matter, we can lump in young adults who have been neglected or abused before their brains were fully developed, who also seek relief from childhood trauma in the bottle or the drug, and who sometimes never get help until it is too late.

And these are just the instances that we know of. The homeless population alone is teeming with citizens who are at a high risk for self-medication due to an untreated medical or mental illness.

The list can go on and on, but my point remains the same: I am not proposing that everyone who is addicted to drugs and alcohol is also suffering from some other co-occurring disorder; I am proposing that maybe we can help some people not fall into the bottomless pit of addiction by helping them investigate the possibility that maybe there are other, healthier alternatives for them (that won’t upset or destroy their lives). Education and awareness are key if we’re going to stem the tide of addiction and help people to help themselves. But you’ve also got to take into consideration my own story before you step out into that brave new world and extend the hand to someone who needs it. Ask yourself one important, final question:

Are you, yourself, the boiling frog?

Formation Of Habitual Use Drives Cannabis Addiction

From Science Daily:

A shift from brain systems controlling reward-driven use to habit-driven use differentiates heavy cannabis users who are addicted to the drug from users who aren’t, according to a study in Biological Psychiatry: Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuroimaging, published by Elsevier. The findings help explain how the brain becomes dependent on cannabis, and why not all cannabis users develop an addiction, even with long-term regular use.

In the study, researchers at the University of Electronic Science and Technology of China and University of Bonn, Germany, used brain imaging to monitor neural activity when cannabis users viewed images associated with cannabis use, referred to as drug cues. Although all of the cannabis users in the study reported heavy use, only some were dependent on the drug. Both dependent and non-dependent cannabis users had exaggerated responses in a brain region that processes reward — the ventral striatum — compared with people who didn’t use cannabis. Interestingly, the dependent users also had larger responses in a brain region that forms habits — the dorsal striatum.

“The present findings reflect that heavy cannabis use is promoted by changes in the brain’s reward system — however, these changes alone may not fully explain addictive use. Addictive use may rather be driven by changes in brain systems that promote habitual — automatic — use, which also may explain the fact that addicts continue use despite a lack of experiencing rewarding effects of the drug. As such, their behavior has become under the control of the drug cues, rather than the actual reward expectation,” said lead author Benjamin Becker, PhD.

Dependent users also had increased responses in other regions throughout the brain, including regions that attribute importance to things, for example, drug cues. This suggests that the development of cannabis addiction incorporates additional brain regions that may strengthen a person’s desire to seek the drug.

“Cannabis is now legal for medical and recreational use in many parts of the United States and the health impacts of this development are still being understood,” said Cameron Carter, MD, Editor of Biological Psychiatry: Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuroimaging. “These findings are important insights that can help us better understand why some individuals might be more likely to become addicted to cannabis,” he added.

Differentiating the unique brain circuits behind dependent cannabis use could also be useful for understanding how to combat the problem of cannabis addiction. “The identification of the dorsal striatum and habitual behavior as a driver of addiction may allow the development of more specific treatment approaches to increase treatment success,” said first author Xinqi Zhou.

Lessons From Dad

Lessons from Dad are not valued much these days. In the good old days, a father’s wisdom was valued by children. Now, not many of my friends even speak to their dads anymore. I don’t know why or what caused the division. It broke my heart, seeing so many of my friends grow up with strained relationships with their fathers because I am lucky enough to have had a good relationship with my dad.

Here are my top five lessons from Dad:

You Don’t Always Get A Trophy

Thanks to my dad’s reminders, I learned that I have to work hard for what I want. My generation always got trophies for everything. At the end of each town-run soccer season, everyone on every team would get a shiny, plastic gold trophy. But my dad reminded me that in school, I wasn’t just handed an A. I had to work and study my addition and subtraction. Just because I showed up for games and sometimes chased the ball, didn’t mean I earned said trophy.

Thick Skin Is Priceless

Thanks to my father’s (not so) gentle advice, I’ve learned to shrug off negativity and appreciate the milestones. The world is tough and there isn’t much room for tears or moping around if things don’t go your way. As someone who’s been flung into the world of writing, having a thick skin is imperative. Rejection letters have gone from sharp daggers to little flies I have to swat away every now and then. Rude critiques have turned into something I can laugh at.

Listen To The Silence

My dad needs silence. He usually likes to be left on his own to write or read for hours every day. His need for silence is a boundary I have always honored. And now I know the importance of silence for me, too. After a long day, I know I can come home and relish the silence with my dad. The need for peace has rubbed off on me as well.

Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

My dad often tells me to get out of my comfort zone. That usually means to take off somewhere and learn about other cultures and people. You can’t grow if you don’t experience. When I was growing up, we had our set summer destinations. Each year, we would load up the car and drive three hours to Cape May, NJ. Then, when I got older, we expanded our horizons and explored various cities full of history. And now, he reminds me to travel.

Follow Your Dreams

I am forever grateful that my dad gave me the freedom to pursue
my dreams. He and I are writers. I grew up watching him clack away on the
keyboard, floating between fiction and reality. It seemed fun. So, when I was
old enough to write sentences, I dove in, too. Then, when I decided I would
study writing in college, he was with me every step of the way. And still is.

On this Father’s Day, we should try to value the good lessons we’ve learned from our fathers and father figures. What lesson resonated with you? Do you know anyone who could use some advice?

15 Ways To Stop Blaming Others

Who doesn’t play the blaming others game? We live in a culture that focuses on blame and victimization. Dr. Caroline Myss, author of Creation of Health, refers to this as an attitude of “woundology” where our emphasis in life is about all the wounds we have and how others have wounded us throughout our life span – parents, teachers, coaches, partners, children, friends, employers and co-workers, and religious institutions.

Blaming Others Hurts Everyone

Our society has a tendency to blame. Everything has a cause and we need to put a spotlight on the other person. In personal relationships, we make ourselves powerless when we cling to victimization. When we feel victimized we focus on blaming everything and everyone around us. It is so much easier to blame others than to look at our own culpability for our lives. Until we stop blaming others, our energy will be negatively focused, keeping us trapped in unhealthy thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Here are 15 ways to get out of the “blame game” and focus on taking responsibility to restore your power.

Why Are You Playing the Blame Game
15 Ways To Stop Blaming Others

Forgiveness is not necessary for healing If you have suffered from a horrible event such as sexual abuse, it is normal to blame the perpetrator, and, rightly so. However, the way to work through this trauma is to focus on what you can do to heal.
Admit you have a tendency to blame and that you created this. When you admit that you play a part in the blame game you can examine the reasons and plan your recovery.
Examine the reasons for blaming others Here are some: Your bother hit you when you were a kid; Your spouse/lover/child is a substance user and is abusive; your boss under values and under pays you; your mother never supported you.
Let go of blaming others – Others are not the cause of your problems. This is amazing but true. Whatever happened to you, or is happening now, you play a part in the destructive dynamic. Examine how you are contributing to the problems in your life by your daily thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Are you a blamer in every situation instead of seeing your part?
If abuse is the current problem, take action to put a support system in place (call 911 if you are in danger right now. Call the domestic violence hotline for advice. Join a support group to explore what’s happening. Think about ending the relationship instead of blaming others for what’s wrong with it. As we’ve discussed in other articles, yes means yes and no means no. Setting boundaries makes for healthy relationships
If a situation is the problem, then examine whether you want to continue within this situation. For example, if you work situation is difficult, maybe it’s time to look for another job. Looking for a job doesn’t mean you have to leave, it gives you new options and things to think about.
Create a list of who and what you blame for your problems and the reasons for this. Which relationships, people and situations are you blaming, and for what?
Blame sends out negative energy and keeps you stuck  Since thoughts/feelings/behaviors are energy, this energy can be creative or damaging; it’s up to you. By letting go of blame, you can become more powerful with healing energy.
Take control of your life  When you act out of power instead of react out of blaming (loss of power), then you can focus on healing.
Focus on success This may seem impossible. Here are some ways to feel the success: Do positive self talk. Imagine yourself not complaining, blaming, being overly sensitive or reactive. You can make a vision board of what your new and more accepting self looks like. Visualize your changed behavior without the vision board. Think of situations where you reacted in a negative way in the past and play the scene over with a better ending. You can see how different behavior can bring a different result.
Utilize healthy coping skills Read, write, exercise, play and have fun, treat yourself to a nice meal, splurge on a dessert, go on vacation, play online games, go to a movie, join a choir, dance, go to a spiritual service, and/or help others. By doing so, your focus is on the positive, not the negative.
Focus on understanding where others’ are in their process and accept that all relationships struggle at times. If necessary, understand that whatever you do to improve your attitude and behavior, others you care about may not be able to change. Then you have to make decisions about what’s best for your mental health.
Make apologies/amends to those you have hurt.  Blamers are often people who hurt others. If your blame is of the cutting, mean and hurtful kind, telling others that you understand what you’ve done and are sorry. relationships will either improve or end.
Use the Serenity Prayer (if it fits for you and/or substitute the word God for something that matches your belief):

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Counseling can make all the difference in getting unstuck and healthy. Find a counselor or therapist  to help.

By utilizing the above techniques, you will find yourself letting go of blame and taking responsibility for yourself and your situation. Blaming keeps you trapped – taking responsibility frees you to heal. Enjoy such freedom.

Family Roles in a Dysfunctional Families

Family roles are established early, and negative conditioning can last a lifetime. There is a lot of information regarding dysfunctional families and the unhealthy roles that are played in this kind of family system. Addiction or abuse is often the cause of dysfunction. The motivation that launches dysfunction is often noble, or caring. It can be the desire to protect the family or family member from negative consequences like getting arrested or losing a job, or being acknowledged as a drinker, abuser, gambler. The desire to protect begins with pretending that everything is all right, and later becomes a system that hurts everyone. In the name of loyalty, dysfunctional families require that everyone play a role in maintaining a destructive status quo.

Dysfunctional Families Struggle With The Following Issues

Denial of the problems
Secrecy about what’s happening
Addiction to drugs or alcohol, food, or behaviors such as gambling
Codependency or taking care of person/s to the point of feeling angry and overwhelmed by their illness/es.
Enabling  a person stay in their addiction such as buying alcohol for the alcoholic to keep him/her/they happy

In unhealthy families, we find a number of roles that are problematic and which keep the family sick. Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse is one of the experts in the addiction and codependency fields and who led the field in examining family dysfunction in an addictive system. including common roles. Here we examine 6 types of roles in the family. As you read, see if you fit any of these roles.

Six Common Family Roles

The Problem Person/s 

The person/s with substance use disorder, food disorder, behavior use disorder (gambling, exercise, sex) alcohol use disorder. This person/s uses substances or behaviors to try to feel better and in doing so, often demands acceptance of the addiction. This person also struggles with accepting responsibility for his life and the impact he is having on his family and others (such as friends, extended family, work, etc). The disorder can progress from just using substances, to misusing substances, and to becoming physically and emotionally dependent on the substance or behavior. This person’s life focuses on whatever behavior has become and addiction. The behavior becomes the best friend, the lover, the coping tool, and the comfort for all other issues.

Enabler/codependent

The enabler is usually the partner or other family member who tries to keep the family together by attempting to keep peace. It can be mom, dad, grandma, grandpa. The codependent will often:

Deny the problems of the problem person.
Step to fix things in every time there’s a crisis
Pay for debts, drugs, traffic tickets, telephone, rent
Purchase the substances or other things the problem person needs
Keep the secrets of the problem person and the family
Be overwhelmed from by role as she/he no longer has time for anything else
Pacifies the problem person to make the family look good

Hero

The hero is often the oldest child (including an adult child), although any child can be an overachiever. His role is to keep himself together and be the best he can be. The family embraces his role as he makes the family look good. Unfortunately, he is often serious, perfectionist, and rigid, and is unwilling to look at how this role is negatively affecting him and those around him.

Mascot

The mascot tends to be the second child and his role is to keep everyone laughing, being the source of humor, or even getting into trouble for his pranks. This often is his way to cope with the family problems and he takes everyone’s mind off the addiction and dysfunction by being the court jester. However, he is typically immature and cannot reach his own feelings.

Scapegoat

This role is for the child who is acts out with their behavior in order to try to get attention. As children grow, they learn that negative attention is better than no attention, so the scapegoat gets in trouble at home, at school, in the community, at work, and other places. The acting out is a direct cry for help but this behavior becomes a way to detract the family from the addictive problems as they focus on the problem child. This is a way for the parents to blame a child as the “identified problem,” therefore, not examining the other problems.

Lost child

The lost child typically can be the third or later child. Here, she seeks to be invisible at home, at school, and/or work. The family pays her little attention as she demands little attention. Hiding out is a safety factor for her. She struggles with interactions with others, has low self esteem, and trouble making decisions.

Family Roles Are Fluid As Families Become More Dysfunctional Over Time

While these roles are common, they also vary in different family systems. Sometimes roles may be combined such as the mascot and the scapegoat. Also, the roles in the family can change such as the hero oldest daughter gets into drugs and another child steps up to be the hero.

To cope with this dysfunction, check out AA, NA, Al-Anon, Codependents Anonymous or other self-help programs. If this is an emergency, call a local or national hotline such as Families Anonymous – 800-736-9805. And finally, continue to read articles on this site, other sites, and/or read Wegscheider-Cruse’s books such as Another Chance, Codependency, and Coupleship.

If you need help you can also check out Recovery Guidance for a free resource to find addiction and mental health professionals near you.

Blessed Are The Peacemakers?

Addiction is a family disease. Everyone is affected and roles are assigned early. My role in the family is peacemaker. The Bible says, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” I don’t like to question such a respected source, but from my experience, being a peacemaker feels anything but blessed. I have, however, found great peace through recovery, so perhaps it’s time to change my definition of “Peacemaker.”

I Set A Bad Precedent

For years, I settled all of my family of origin’s arguments. Smaller cases went like this: My dad had the day off, but he didn’t wash the dishes. My mom was furious. She punished him with silence and called me to vent. I handled that case by calling my Dad to smooth things over. He then complained about her. I agreed because she treats me the same way. I cheered Dad up by reminding him of what he does well. Then I made excuses for Mom, “She’s just on edge because of that thing at work.” When we hung up, he felt better. I felt like a traitor. Something had to change.

My Family Still Wants To Me To Be The Peacemaker

In recovery, I learned this behavior of putting me in the middle was actually a form of triangulation. Here’s another example. My Dad called me this weekend to tell me my Mom wants Ricky to move in with them. My Dad gave me a list of why it was a bad idea. I agreed. Silently. During the conversation, I paid close attention to how I was feeling. I asked myself, “Was his sharing making me feel uncomfortable?” When it was my turn to speak, I simply said, “She has a sickness.” My Mom suffers from co-dependency. She knows I feel this way about her relationship with Ricky.

My Mom called on Tuesday to tell me Ricky’s news. Again, I listened as long as I was able to. When she paused for me to talk, I said nothing. She didn’t ask for my opinion, so I didn’t give it.  In the past, their wanting my opinion made me feel important, so I kept playing a part in the dysfunction. Now I see my opinion isn’t important to them. None of them asked for it! They just want someone to take their side. I don’t have a side. Nothing in this scenario is any of my business. Ricky isn’t wanting to move in with me and I don’t live there.

Triangulation And Addiction

Triangulation is common in families with addiction. Murray Bowen, an pioneer in American family therapy theorized,

In a dysfunctional family in which there is alcoholism present, the non-drinking parent will go to a child and express dissatisfaction with the drinking parent. This includes the child in the discussion of how to solve the problem of the afflicted parent. Sometimes the child can engage in the relationship with the parent, filling the role of the third party, and thereby being “triangulated” into the relationship. Or, the child may then go to the alcoholic parent, relaying what they were told. In instances when this occurs, the child may be forced into a role of a “surrogate spouse” The reason that this occurs is that both parties are dysfunctional. In a triangular family relationship, the two who have aligned risk forming an enmeshed relationship.

I Set Some Hard Boundaries

Over the last few years in recovery, I’ve changed my definition of peacemaker. My main goal is to find peace for ME. Once I began to see how settling their arguments hurt me, I had to be brave and tell them all “No.” I started with my Mom because I was the least afraid of her. The first time I told her I didn’t want to hear anything bad about my Dad, she quickly obliged. Unfortunately, a few days later, she tested my boundary. I reminded her I would no longer listen to negative comments. Telling her “No” gave me the courage to next tell Ricky “No.” After I stood up to Ricky, then I told my Dad. It’s still hard to say “No,” but it’s getting easier.

For a year after that, I quit listening to their stories. I learned to space phone calls out over several days. I called only when I had important news. I quit asking how Ricky or my Dad was. Taking myself out of their arguments has been one of the healthiest things I’ve done.

More Millennials Are Dying ‘Deaths of Despair,’ as Overdose and Suicide Rates Climb

From Time:

 
 



 

There’s been a marked uptick in so-called deaths of despair—those involving drugs, alcohol or suicide—among millennials over the last decade, according to a new report released by public-health groups Trust for America’s Health and Well Being Trust.

Drug, alcohol and suicide deaths have risen in nearly every age group over the last decade, but the increase has been especially pronounced for younger Americans. Between 2007 and 2017, drug-related deaths increased by 108% among adults ages 18 to 34, while alcohol-related deaths increased by 69% and suicides increased by 35%, according to the report, which drew on Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data. All together, about 36,000 millennials died “deaths of despair” in 2017, with fatal drug overdoses being the biggest driver.

As in every age group, the opioid crisis has been a major cause of fatal drug overdoses among Millennials—though new federal estimates suggest these rates may be starting to slow. Opioids, including synthetic opioids like fentanyl, were involved in the majority of drug overdose deaths in 2017, the new report shows. Meanwhile, heavy drinking seems to be contributing to a disproportionate increase in alcohol-related deaths for younger Americans.

Young people, the report notes, are typically more likely than older adults to engage in risk-taking behaviors—including drug and alcohol use—due to their stage in development. But the report argues that there are also a number of generation-specific factors that are plaguing Millennials, including financial stressors stemming from student loan debt, health care and high housing costs. Social support may also be lacking for Millennials, as fewer people take part in faith- and community-based organizations and more people delay marriage.

These issues can contribute to mental health conditions, and younger Americans report higher rates of depression and anxiety than previous generations. While there’s never a single cause of suicide, mental health conditions like these are considered a primary risk factor.

The report offers a number of recommendations for slowing these troubling increases in “deaths of despair,” including making treatment and screening for mental health and substance use disorders more accessible and part of routine healthcare; prioritizing prevention programs; making it easier and more affordable for young people to get good health insurance; implementing better drug abuse monitoring and prescription practices nationwide; and further taxing alcohol to drive down sales. It also calls for better substance misuse treatment within the criminal justice system, since a disproportionately high number of Millennials are incarcerated.