Leslie Glass's Blog, page 261

Why Cell Phones Grow Skull Horns In Teens

Yikes, it’s not the aliens that are the threat to our children’s skulls. It’s spurs from cell phone use. From the Washington Post

Mobile technology has transformed the way we live — how we read, work, communicate, shop and date.

But we already know this.

What we have not yet grasped is the way the tiny machines in front of us are remolding our skeletons, possibly altering not just the behaviors we exhibit but the bodies we inhabit.

Researchers at the University of the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia, have documented the prevalence of bone spurs at the back of the skull among young adults. (Scientific Reports)By Isaac Stanley-BeckerJune 20 at 4:40 AM

New research in biomechanics suggests that young people are developing hornlike spikes at the back of their skulls — bone spurs caused by the forward tilt of the head, which shifts weight from the spine to the muscles at the back of the head, causing bone growth in the connecting tendons and ligaments. The weight transfer that causes the buildup can be compared to the way the skin thickens into a callus as a response to pressure or abrasion.

The result is a hook or hornlike feature jutting out from the skull, just above the neck.

In academic papers, a pair of researchers at the University of the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia, argues that the prevalence of the bone growth in younger adults points to shifting body posture brought about by the use of modern technology. They say smartphones and other handheld devices are contorting the human form, requiring users to bend their heads forward to make sense of what’s happening on the miniature screens.

The researchers said their discovery marks the first documentation of a physiological or skeletal adaptation to the penetration of advanced technology into everyday life.

Health experts warn of “text neck,” and doctors have begun treating “texting thumb,” which is not a clearly defined condition but bears resemblance to carpal tunnel syndrome. But prior research has not linked phone use to bone-deep changes in the body.

“An important question is what the future holds for the young adult populations in our study, when development of a degenerative process is evident in such an early stage of their lives?” ask the authors in one paper, published in Nature Research’s peer-reviewed, open-access Scientific Reports. The study came out last year but has received fresh attention following the publication last week of a BBC story that considers, “How modern life is transforming the human skeleton.”

Since then, the unusual formations have captured the attention of Australian media, and have variously been dubbed “head horns” or “phone bones” or “spikes” or “weird bumps.”

Each is a fitting description, said David Shahar, the paper’s first author, a chiropractor who recently completed a PhD in biomechanics at Sunshine Coast.

“That is up to anyone’s imagination,” he told The Washington Post. “You may say it looks like a bird’s beak, a horn, a hook.”

However it is designated, Shahar said, the formation is a sign of a serious deformity in posture that can cause chronic headaches and painin the upper back and neck.

Part of what was striking about the findings, he said, was the size of the bone spurs, which are thought to be large if they measure 3 or 5 millimeters in length. An outgrowth was only factored into their research if it measured 10 millimeters, or about two-fifths of an inch.

The danger is not the head horn itself, said Mark Sayers, an associate professor of biomechanics at Sunshine Coast who served as Shahar’s supervisor and co-author. Rather, the formation is a “portent of something nasty going on elsewhere, a sign that the head and neck are not in the proper configuration,” he told The Post.

Their work began about three years ago with a pile of neck X-rays taken in Queensland. The images captured part of the skull, including the area where the bony projections, called enthesophytes, form at the back of the head.

Contrary to conventional understanding of the hornlike structures, which have been thought to crop up rarely and mainly among older people suffering from prolonged strain, Shahar noticed that they appeared prominently on X-rays of younger subjects, including those who were showing no obvious symptoms.

The pair’s first paper, published in the Journal of Anatomy in 2016, enlisted a sample of 218 X-rays, of subjects ages 18 to 30, to suggest that the bone growth could be observed in 41 percent of young adults, much more than previously thought. The feature was more prevalent among men than among women.

The effect — known as enlarged external occipital protuberance — used to be so uncommon, Sayers said, that one of its early observers, toward the end of the 19th century, objected to its title, arguing that there was no real protrusion.That’s no longer the case.

Another paper, published in Clinical Biomechanics in the spring of 2018, used a case study involving four teenagers to argue that the head horns were not caused by genetic factors or inflammation, pointing instead to the mechanical load on muscles in the skull and neck.

And the Scientific Reports paper, published the month before, zoomed out to consider a sample of 1,200 X-rays of subjects in Queensland, ages 18 to 86. The researchers found that the size of the bone growth, present in 33 percent of the population, actually decreased with age. That discovery was in stark contrast to existing scientific understanding, which had long held that the slow, degenerative process occurred with aging.

They found instead that the bone spurs were larger and more common among young people. To understand what was driving the effect, they looked to recent developments — circumstances over the past 10 or 20 years altering how young people hold their bodies.

“These formations take a long time to develop, so that means that those individuals who suffer from them probably have been stressing that area since early childhood,” Shahar explained.

The sort of strain required for bone to infiltrate the tendon pointed him to handheld devices that bring the head forward and down, requiring the use of muscles at the back of the skull to prevent the head from falling to the chest. “What happens with technology?” he said. “People are more sedentary; they put their head forward, to look at their devices. That requires an adaptive process to spread the load.”

That the bone growth develops over a long period of time suggests that sustained improvement in posture can stop it short and even ward off its associated effects.

The answer is not necessarily swearing off technology, Sayers said. At least, there are less drastic interventions.

“What we need are coping mechanisms that reflect how important technology has become in our lives,” he said.

Shahar is pressing people to become as regimented about posture as they became about dental hygiene in the 1970s, when personal care came to involve brushing and flossing every day. Schools should teach simple posture strategies, he said. Everyone who uses technology during the day should get used to recalibrating their posture at night.

As motivation, he suggested reaching a hand around to the lower rear of the skull. Those who have the hornlike feature can probably feel it.

Why Gaslighting Makes You Crazy –

Gaslighting makes you crazy.  Literally. Have you noticed that some people in your life manipulate the truth to make you question your sanity? You are off base, living on shifting sand but are not sure why. It happens every day in so many areas of life. Do you recognize it and adjust your own thoughts and behavior to protect yourself?

Why gaslighting makes you crazy

It’s a form of control that may begin innocently enough. Say a boss, coworker, friend, family member or political figure does something that seems strange. When he or she explains it away, you let it go. It may be something that makes you feel all is not well with the other person, but you rationalize it so that you can keep or repair the relationship. You’re in the gaslighting tango.

How Gaslighting Begins

Say you have a great time on a first date, and the date leaves abruptly. You’re thrown off balance by this behavior. A little while later the date calls and wants to know why you left in such a hurry. A good question might be: why would you pick up the phone for someone who appears to have ditched you? But you do pick up the call because the dinner was fun and you want to see the date again. You don’t realize you’ve been gaslighted. You just suddenly wonder what really happened. Did you do something to chase the date off? Are you really at fault? You feel weird and unsure of yourself, but agree to go out with the date again. You’re now set up for the gaslight tango. It will happen again and again. This is something that happens with both men and women. There is no gender that has an exclusive on gaslighting. Anyone who wants to gain control over another will try to manipulate the facts to get the upper hand.

Another example might be a family member who is always setting up little traps for you to fall into and when you question what happened or why she or he did it, the gaslighter says you’re too sensitive but doesn’t answer the question. You are put on the defensive and find yourself arguing or trying harder to get your gaslighter to see your point of view, which never happens. It is possible over time to get beaten down and become certain that you are at fault.

Why Family Members Make You Feel Unloved
Gaslighting Changes Your World View

If you are gaslighted by someone, the world seems cockeyed and you’re driven crazy by hearing one thing and thinking something else happened. You run the tapes in your head over and over to figure out if you’re right or wrong. You try to defend yourself and work harder to prove yourself to the other person.

The Expert Explains

Robin Stern, PhD, Author of The Gaslight Effect, says there are three stages of gaslighting. The first is disbelief it is happening. The second is defending yourself against the manipulation and trying hard to find ways to make it stop by getting the other person see you’re not what they think. The third stage is depression. This is when you experience a personality change. You are unhappy and unlike yourself. People express concern about you and treat you as if you really do have a problem. Gaslighting really happens in many kinds of relationships and can seriously damage people’s self esteem. Read Robin’s warning signs below to see if you have experienced them.

Where Does Gaslighting Come From

The term comes from the 1944 film called Gaslight with Ingrid Bergman, Charles Boyer, & Joseph Cotton. The insidious husband does it to his wife to drive her crazy. It’s a great movie, and, even though a little histrionic in the acting, not out of date at all.

Seven Sneaky Ways You Might Be Abused
14 reasons gaslighting makes you crazy

You are constantly second-guessing yourself.
You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.
You often feel confused and even crazy at work.
You’re always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend, boss.
 You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier.
You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.
You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
You start trying to do things to avoid the put downs and reality twists.
You have trouble making simple decisions.
You have the sense that you used to be a very different person – more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
You feel hopeless and joyless.
You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
You wonder if you are a “good enough” girlfriend/ wife/employee/friend; daughter.

Why Ghosting And Gaslighting Hurt So Much

The post Why Gaslighting Makes You Crazy – appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Why Gaslighting Makes You Crazy

Gaslighting makes you crazy.  Literally. Have you noticed that some people in your life manipulate the truth to make you question your sanity? You are off base, living on shifting sand but are not sure why. It happens every day in so many areas of life. Do you recognize it and adjust your own thoughts and behavior to protect yourself?

Why gaslighting makes you crazy

It’s a form of control that may begin innocently enough. Say a boss, coworker, friend, family member or political figure does something that seems strange. When he or she explains it away, you let it go. It may be something that makes you feel all is not well with the other person, but you rationalize it so that you can keep or repair the relationship. You’re in the gaslighting tango.

How Gaslighting Begins

Say you have a great time on a first date, and the date leaves abruptly. You’re thrown off balance by this behavior. A little while later the date calls and wants to know why you left in such a hurry. A good question might be: why would you pick up the phone for someone who appears to have ditched you? But you do pick up the call because the dinner was fun and you want to see the date again. You don’t realize you’ve been gaslighted. You just suddenly wonder what really happened. Did you do something to chase the date off? Are you really at fault? You feel weird and unsure of yourself, but agree to go out with the date again. You’re now set up for the gaslight tango. It will happen again and again. This is something that happens with both men and women. There is no gender that has an exclusive on gaslighting. Anyone who wants to gain control over another will try to manipulate the facts to get the upper hand.

Another example might be a family member who is always setting up little traps for you to fall into and when you question what happened or why she or he did it, the gaslighter says you’re too sensitive but doesn’t answer the question. You are put on the defensive and find yourself arguing or trying harder to get your gaslighter to see your point of view, which never happens. It is possible over time to get beaten down and become certain that you are at fault.

Why Family Members Make You Feel Unloved
Gaslighting Changes Your World View

If you are gaslighted by someone, the world seems cockeyed and you’re driven crazy by hearing one thing and thinking something else happened. You run the tapes in your head over and over to figure out if you’re right or wrong. You try to defend yourself and work harder to prove yourself to the other person.

The Expert Explains

Robin Stern, PhD, Author of The Gaslight Effect, says there are three stages of gaslighting. The first is disbelief it is happening. The second is defending yourself against the manipulation and trying hard to find ways to make it stop by getting the other person see you’re not what they think. The third stage is depression. This is when you experience a personality change. You are unhappy and unlike yourself. People express concern about you and treat you as if you really do have a problem. Gaslighting really happens in many kinds of relationships and can seriously damage people’s self esteem. Read Robin’s warning signs below to see if you have experienced them.

Where Does Gaslighting Come From

The term comes from the 1944 film called Gaslight with Ingrid Bergman, Charles Boyer, & Joseph Cotton. The insidious husband does it to his wife to drive her crazy. It’s a great movie, and, even though a little histrionic in the acting, not out of date at all.

Seven Sneaky Ways You Might Be Abused
14 reasons gaslighting makes you crazy

You are constantly second-guessing yourself.
You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.
You often feel confused and even crazy at work.
You’re always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend, boss.
 You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier.
You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.
You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
You start trying to do things to avoid the put downs and reality twists.
You have trouble making simple decisions.
You have the sense that you used to be a very different person – more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
You feel hopeless and joyless.
You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
You wonder if you are a “good enough” girlfriend/ wife/employee/friend; daughter.

Why Ghosting And Gaslighting Hurt So Much

This Is Your Brain on Drugs –

From Psychology Today:

The neurological effects of addiction

Addiction is a disease that affects millions of Americans. It is extremely widespread, with an estimated 8 percent to 10 percent of individuals in the United States 12 years of age or older (between 20 to 22 million people) addicted to at least one substance. The human costs of this problem are incalculable. The annual financial costs, meanwhile, are estimated to be close to $700 billiondue to losses in productivity, crime, and additional health care costs associated with addiction.

Just because an individual has a few drinks or very occasionally consumes illicit drugs does not mean that they have a problem with addiction. Furthermore, just because an individual may struggle with the responsible use of a drug like alcohol does not mean they have been overcome by addiction.

Addiction is distinct from substance-use disorder, which is defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) as being the recurrent use of drugs or alcohol resulting in clinically and functionally significant impairment. Such impairment can negatively impact one’s health, social networks, and the ability to perform functions necessary for either school or work. The disorder ranges from mild to severe. It is only when substance-use disorder becomes severe that it becomes synonymous with addiction.

In the past, addiction was considered to require a substance. In other words, one was addicted to alcohol, to nicotine, to heroin, and so on. Within this paradigm, it was believed that regular use of the substance in question eventually led to the individual’s development of both a physical dependency and a tolerance for it. The latter would lead to the need to increase the amount of the substance consumed to achieve the desired effect. The former would result in withdrawal symptoms when use was discontinued. Some of the most common substances that can produce this type of addiction include opioids, stimulants like cocaine, nicotine, and alcohol. The use of the latter two substances is, in general, more socially accepted than the use of illicit drugs like cocaine and heroin, but they still can produce deleterious effects.

While this depiction of addiction is still largely accurate, it does not account for other types of addiction that do not involve substances. Such addictions pertain to compulsive activities. At this time, gambling is the only behavioral addiction recognized by the DSM-5, but a growing body of research suggests that other behaviors possess similar pathologies when done compulsively. These include video game playing, binge-watching television, or having sex. Addictions of this kind may not be as physically harmful as addictions involving substances like cigarettes, alcohol, or opioids, but they can still cost lasting social and emotional damage to those caught in the web of addiction, as well as an addicted individual’s close friends and family.

Why Don’t Addicts Just Quit?

Individuals who are struggling with addiction do not simply lack the will power to stop. The belief that one’s inability to break the cycle of addiction is due to personal shortcomings is not accurate. While inaccurate, such a belief is not irrational. Many individuals can enjoy the occasional glass of wine or weekend trip to Atlantic City without incident. From their perspective, they do not experience a strong compulsion to continue using an intoxicating substance or participating in an activity such as gambling once it has become clear that continued use is a bad idea. They can stop and they assume that others should be able to, as well.

Individuals with addiction do not experience the world in this manner. They may earnestly wish to quit, but they cannot do so. This is not a question of will power. Consequently, we should think of addiction not as a personal shortcoming or moral failure, but as a neurobiological issue. Certain brain functions of those who have developed an addiction become hardwired in a manner that allows the addiction to thrive. Furthermore, certain individuals are more genetically predisposed to develop addictions than others.

What Addiction Does to the Brain

Addictive drugs and behaviors activate regions in the brain that are associated with reward pathways and the pleasure center of the brain. When activated by the perceived reward, the brain releases the neurotransmitter dopamine, which causes an individual to feel good. Certain normal activities—such as when one eats, has sex, or accomplishes a difficult task—serve as rewards. They activate the brain’s pleasure center and result in the release of dopamine. Using certain drugs, such as nicotine, alcohol, opioids, or cocaine, also release dopamine. Similarly, winning at a game of chance or doing well at a video game do, too.

Over time, dopamine ceases to be released merely due to the use of these drugs or participation in these activities (i.e. “the rewards”). Similar to how Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov noted that dogs can be conditioned to salivate once they understand that a bell indicates that dinner is about to be served, the brain becomes flooded with dopamine in anticipation of the reward, and certain external stimuli or cues tell an individual with addiction that a reward is imminent. These cues (the smell of a bar, the bright lights of the casino, seeing friends with whom one used drugs, etc.) then trigger cravings.

This kind of conditioning persists well after the drug has been flushed from the body. Consequently, a person with addiction may still be troubled by these cravings even after years of sobriety.

Certain drugs, particularly opioids and cocaine, also disrupt the brain’s reward center in a manner that is distinct from more natural rewards by preventing satiation. When one attains a natural reward, by eating a meal, for example, one’s dopamine cells eventually stop firing. Any excess dopamine within the brain’s synapses is then removed by the neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). Opioids and cocaine, however, release a far more potent dose of dopamine and then prevent the clearing away of excess dopamine by inhibiting the release of GABA. Opioids and cocaine effectively keep GABA from doing its job, which means that additional dopamine continues to flood the brain’s receptors.

The rush of dopamine is so rewarding that, eventually, the person with addiction becomes more focused on obtaining the dopamine release produced by the drug or activity and less focused on obtaining more natural rewards. The addiction effectively reinforces itself.

People with addiction may not even be conscious of the cues associated with their addiction. A study conducted by Anna Rose Childress, a neuroscientist based at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Studies of Addiction, found that salience attribution (which is the mental equivalent of focusing a camera on one object and leaving the remaining objects in one’s field of vision a series of blurs) is so powerful among even former addicts that they may not even be conscious of the cues. When a group of recovering cocaine addicts were shown an image of a crack pipe for just 33 milliseconds, a period of time one-tenth the length of a blink, the reward circuitry in their brains lit up. Even though they were not cognizant of seeing the pipe, the portion of the brain that activates reward pathways knew it was there.

On top of altering the reward pathways within the brain, addiction can also significantly reduce the amount of dopamine that is released either by natural rewards, drug use, or compulsory behavior. Not only do such individuals become less interested in natural rewards, but they also feel as though they need more and more of the drug or compulsory behavior to achieve the same level of euphoria as when the addiction was in its nascent state. Furthermore, on top of the severe withdrawal symptoms associated with drugs like alcohol and opioids, the absence of the desired reward leads to stress responses that result in dysphoria and anxiety. As addiction becomes more severe, the individual often becomes less concerned with experiencing euphoria than escaping the distress associated with non-use.

Addiction also alters portions of the prefrontal cortical regions—the areas of the brain responsible for overseeing executive functions like decision making and responding to exterior stimuli. This seriously impairs an individual’s capacity for regulating behavior and emotions, compounding one’s inability to follow through on making a healthy decision. Once again, this only reinforces the addiction.

Once again, addiction is a disease. It has pernicious effects on the brain, particularly neural pathways that control reward-seeking behavior. It is not a moral failing or a weakness, and it cannot be treated as such. People struggling with addiction can’t just quit, and “tough love” approaches can exacerbate feelings of social isolation and result in one’s sinking deeper into addiction.

While there are pharmacological remedies that can help to offset cravings and to make quitting easier, this is only the beginning in a long and arduous process that often requires abstaining from environments, stimuli, and individuals that/who can trigger cravings. Such strategies can help to curb cravings, but they are not always foolproof. The best way to overcome addiction is to not only abstain but to restore healthy reward networks in the brain and to reestablish healthy social networks either through familial support or a 12-step program.

The post This Is Your Brain on Drugs – appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

This Is Your Brain on Drugs

From Psychology Today:

The neurological effects of addiction

Addiction is a disease that affects millions of Americans. It is extremely widespread, with an estimated 8 percent to 10 percent of individuals in the United States 12 years of age or older (between 20 to 22 million people) addicted to at least one substance. The human costs of this problem are incalculable. The annual financial costs, meanwhile, are estimated to be close to $700 billiondue to losses in productivity, crime, and additional health care costs associated with addiction.

Just because an individual has a few drinks or very occasionally consumes illicit drugs does not mean that they have a problem with addiction. Furthermore, just because an individual may struggle with the responsible use of a drug like alcohol does not mean they have been overcome by addiction.

Addiction is distinct from substance-use disorder, which is defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) as being the recurrent use of drugs or alcohol resulting in clinically and functionally significant impairment. Such impairment can negatively impact one’s health, social networks, and the ability to perform functions necessary for either school or work. The disorder ranges from mild to severe. It is only when substance-use disorder becomes severe that it becomes synonymous with addiction.

In the past, addiction was considered to require a substance. In other words, one was addicted to alcohol, to nicotine, to heroin, and so on. Within this paradigm, it was believed that regular use of the substance in question eventually led to the individual’s development of both a physical dependency and a tolerance for it. The latter would lead to the need to increase the amount of the substance consumed to achieve the desired effect. The former would result in withdrawal symptoms when use was discontinued. Some of the most common substances that can produce this type of addiction include opioids, stimulants like cocaine, nicotine, and alcohol. The use of the latter two substances is, in general, more socially accepted than the use of illicit drugs like cocaine and heroin, but they still can produce deleterious effects.

While this depiction of addiction is still largely accurate, it does not account for other types of addiction that do not involve substances. Such addictions pertain to compulsive activities. At this time, gambling is the only behavioral addiction recognized by the DSM-5, but a growing body of research suggests that other behaviors possess similar pathologies when done compulsively. These include video game playing, binge-watching television, or having sex. Addictions of this kind may not be as physically harmful as addictions involving substances like cigarettes, alcohol, or opioids, but they can still cost lasting social and emotional damage to those caught in the web of addiction, as well as an addicted individual’s close friends and family.

Why Don’t Addicts Just Quit?

Individuals who are struggling with addiction do not simply lack the will power to stop. The belief that one’s inability to break the cycle of addiction is due to personal shortcomings is not accurate. While inaccurate, such a belief is not irrational. Many individuals can enjoy the occasional glass of wine or weekend trip to Atlantic City without incident. From their perspective, they do not experience a strong compulsion to continue using an intoxicating substance or participating in an activity such as gambling once it has become clear that continued use is a bad idea. They can stop and they assume that others should be able to, as well.

Individuals with addiction do not experience the world in this manner. They may earnestly wish to quit, but they cannot do so. This is not a question of will power. Consequently, we should think of addiction not as a personal shortcoming or moral failure, but as a neurobiological issue. Certain brain functions of those who have developed an addiction become hardwired in a manner that allows the addiction to thrive. Furthermore, certain individuals are more genetically predisposed to develop addictions than others.

What Addiction Does to the Brain

Addictive drugs and behaviors activate regions in the brain that are associated with reward pathways and the pleasure center of the brain. When activated by the perceived reward, the brain releases the neurotransmitter dopamine, which causes an individual to feel good. Certain normal activities—such as when one eats, has sex, or accomplishes a difficult task—serve as rewards. They activate the brain’s pleasure center and result in the release of dopamine. Using certain drugs, such as nicotine, alcohol, opioids, or cocaine, also release dopamine. Similarly, winning at a game of chance or doing well at a video game do, too.

Over time, dopamine ceases to be released merely due to the use of these drugs or participation in these activities (i.e. “the rewards”). Similar to how Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov noted that dogs can be conditioned to salivate once they understand that a bell indicates that dinner is about to be served, the brain becomes flooded with dopamine in anticipation of the reward, and certain external stimuli or cues tell an individual with addiction that a reward is imminent. These cues (the smell of a bar, the bright lights of the casino, seeing friends with whom one used drugs, etc.) then trigger cravings.

This kind of conditioning persists well after the drug has been flushed from the body. Consequently, a person with addiction may still be troubled by these cravings even after years of sobriety.

Certain drugs, particularly opioids and cocaine, also disrupt the brain’s reward center in a manner that is distinct from more natural rewards by preventing satiation. When one attains a natural reward, by eating a meal, for example, one’s dopamine cells eventually stop firing. Any excess dopamine within the brain’s synapses is then removed by the neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). Opioids and cocaine, however, release a far more potent dose of dopamine and then prevent the clearing away of excess dopamine by inhibiting the release of GABA. Opioids and cocaine effectively keep GABA from doing its job, which means that additional dopamine continues to flood the brain’s receptors.

The rush of dopamine is so rewarding that, eventually, the person with addiction becomes more focused on obtaining the dopamine release produced by the drug or activity and less focused on obtaining more natural rewards. The addiction effectively reinforces itself.

People with addiction may not even be conscious of the cues associated with their addiction. A study conducted by Anna Rose Childress, a neuroscientist based at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Studies of Addiction, found that salience attribution (which is the mental equivalent of focusing a camera on one object and leaving the remaining objects in one’s field of vision a series of blurs) is so powerful among even former addicts that they may not even be conscious of the cues. When a group of recovering cocaine addicts were shown an image of a crack pipe for just 33 milliseconds, a period of time one-tenth the length of a blink, the reward circuitry in their brains lit up. Even though they were not cognizant of seeing the pipe, the portion of the brain that activates reward pathways knew it was there.

On top of altering the reward pathways within the brain, addiction can also significantly reduce the amount of dopamine that is released either by natural rewards, drug use, or compulsory behavior. Not only do such individuals become less interested in natural rewards, but they also feel as though they need more and more of the drug or compulsory behavior to achieve the same level of euphoria as when the addiction was in its nascent state. Furthermore, on top of the severe withdrawal symptoms associated with drugs like alcohol and opioids, the absence of the desired reward leads to stress responses that result in dysphoria and anxiety. As addiction becomes more severe, the individual often becomes less concerned with experiencing euphoria than escaping the distress associated with non-use.

Addiction also alters portions of the prefrontal cortical regions—the areas of the brain responsible for overseeing executive functions like decision making and responding to exterior stimuli. This seriously impairs an individual’s capacity for regulating behavior and emotions, compounding one’s inability to follow through on making a healthy decision. Once again, this only reinforces the addiction.

Once again, addiction is a disease. It has pernicious effects on the brain, particularly neural pathways that control reward-seeking behavior. It is not a moral failing or a weakness, and it cannot be treated as such. People struggling with addiction can’t just quit, and “tough love” approaches can exacerbate feelings of social isolation and result in one’s sinking deeper into addiction.

While there are pharmacological remedies that can help to offset cravings and to make quitting easier, this is only the beginning in a long and arduous process that often requires abstaining from environments, stimuli, and individuals that/who can trigger cravings. Such strategies can help to curb cravings, but they are not always foolproof. The best way to overcome addiction is to not only abstain but to restore healthy reward networks in the brain and to reestablish healthy social networks either through familial support or a 12-step program.

These 4 Tips For Healing PTSD Will Give You Hope –

Healing PTSD is a process. In my life trauma was buried deep, but its effects overwhelming and sent me to jail. Before I began my journey to recovery, I spent most of my life ill-equipped, undiagnosed, and absolutely oblivious of the trauma calling all of the shots in my life. For as long as I can remember, I was full of crippling anxiety and enslaved to fear. Like children of alcoholics, I turned to substances to numb my pain.

Children of Alcoholics are confused Credit Adobe



Why Children Of Alcoholics Are Traumatized

I grew up in a small town, outside of Atlanta, Georgia. My birth mother was an addict and absent from my life by the time I turned 2 years old. My father took me on his own and eventually met my stepmother. I was 5 years old when I was molested by a family member. I vividly remember talking with the school guidance counselor and eventually my family. To no avail, my painful confessions fell amongst deaf ears. My innocence was recklessly taken from me that day. If the adults in my life weren’t going to address the trauma I disclosed, then obviously it wasn’t worth discussing – or perhaps it was my fault all along.

Children of alcoholics have PTSD Credit Adobe



Learn Why Trauma Stalks Children of Alcoholics

I remember feeling inadequate from a very young age. I had deep-rooted trust issues that were eventually validated by my toxic relationship with my bi-polar stepmother. Somedays she was spontaneous and fun. Other days, I couldn’t breathe without some form of criticism spouting out of her mouth. The unpredictable environment and intermittent love, within my household, cultivated my fears of rejection, abandonment, and my desperate need to please. I was always on edge and I became the poster child of codependency. I felt like the “Walking Dead” – unable to be present, repeating traumatic behaviors, total dissociation, and emotionally dead. It wasn’t long before I found that drugs and alcohol never required much more than participation out of me. For the first time in my life, the racing thoughts, nightmares, panic attacks, and vulnerability escaped me. I was able to achieve a permanent state of dissociation through my addiction.

Trauma caused my substance use

Years passed, my disease progressed, and I couldn’t drink, swallow, or indulge in enough substances to numb my pain. Legal consequences caught up to me and grace met me in the form of utter desperation as I was detoxing on a cold jail cell floor. I was left with the option of accepting help or die by way of chemical suicide. I had a son, and at the time, he saved me. I didn’t love myself enough to embark on the journey to recovery but I did love him enough to give sobriety and healing a real shot. I will never forget the “Complex PTSD” diagnosis I received in treatment. Initially, I scoffed at the idea that I had any issue surpassing my self propelled substance abuse disorder.

Sobriety began my healing PTSD

A few months into my sobriety, I realized that drugs/alcohol were not my problem – they had been my solution. The more I was educated on CPTSD, the more glaring my disorder became. All of the symptoms of CPTSD, that I exhibited, had been seemingly necessary for my survival. I soon learned that without drugs and alcohol, I was still miserable. As therapy continued, I realized that the only way I could ever experience true freedom and happiness was to walk through my fear and face old traumas head-on. I will have 3 years sober this month and I live a life beyond my wildest dreams thanks to accepting the suggestions given by other people struggling with CPTSD. My sobriety – my life – has been absolutely revolutionized by implementing these practices into my life.

4 Tips For Healing PTSD That Worked For Me



1.Cultivate Gratitude

Perception is everything. Studies have shown a direct correlation with gratitude and overall mental wellbeing. Specifically, a 2006 study found that Vietnam War Veterans cultivating higher levels of gratitude experienced lower rates of PTSD. Trauma causes fear and gratitude cultivates happiness and peace. I continue to write out a gratitude list every day – the same way I have since I first got sober. Reflecting upon my day, I write out a gratitude list and send it over, via group text, to the most important women in my life. I’ve noticed the immediate perception shift that happens when I’m reading through the multitude of gratitude lists. When I fill my head with positive thoughts, there is little room for my intrusive traumatic memories of the past. Over time, cultivating gratitude has become a habit in which I notice and appreciate the good things in life rather than obsessing over painful memories.

2. Practice Mindfulness Meditation

We feel the most alive when we are radically present in the moment. For many of us – struggling with PTSD – we spend much of our lives not noticing those moments in our lives. I once heard someone say “I live my life forward and understand it backward.” This concept resonates with me. I have always lived in anxiety about the future and looking back into the past, trying to access how I wish I would’ve done things differently. The internal chatter many of us face is intrusive and disruptive to any attempt at practice mindfulness. The beauty of trauma education and the byproduct of practical application is learning new healthy coping skills. I remember sitting in sessions and experiencing total depersonalization. I would tell my therapist exactly how I was feeling, at that moment, and immediately she would walk me through exercising healthy coping skills. I learned how to ground myself when I felt like I was dissociating and losing touch with the world around me. We would start by bringing awareness to my breath, then my feet, which would shift my focus entirely. Mindful Meditation has enhanced my sobriety and continues to mitigate the symptoms of my CPTSD.

3.Connect With Nature

The Japanese expression Shinrin-yoku is a term that means “taking in the forest atmosphere” or “forest bathing.” This has become a cornerstone in preventative healthcare and healing in Japanese culture. Many scientific studies have proven the innumerable amount of benefits spending time in the forest has on your overall emotional state. In early recovery, I found myself waking up with the sun and basking in the warmth along with the smell of fresh salty air. Starting my day, with nature, reminded me of how small I am in this vast world and cultivated a deep appreciation for the beautiful new world around me. When I continue to take time to be present in the moment, I find that my anxieties seem to subside. Whether it’s venturing to your local park and indulging in the texture of the freshly cut grass or simply going for a walk on the beach – the best way to soothe a troubled heart and messy head is by connecting with nature.

4. Participate in Trauma Therapy

Desperate for relief, I began weekly sessions of trauma therapy. I was finally able to divulge the deepest, darkest painful secrets of my past. I began to trust again. I was offered a totally different perspective and upon taking action I was able to relinquish myself of playing the victim. The truth is, underneath all of the drugs and alcohol, was a scared little girl that never felt good enough. While treating my addiction, I was forced to take a look at the physical, mental, and spiritual maladies that beseeched me. A major part of my transformation in trauma therapy came from exploring my history with trauma. As we began looking at the current traumatic experiences I was facing, it was revealed to me that each instance was directly connected to an unhealed traumatic experience from my childhood. It was cathartic in nature – a spiritual experience of sorts. My unhealthy, toxic survival strategies were no longer serving me and it was suggested I begin to start the work on healing the childhood trauma that plagued me. The more my therapist walked through the ‘minefield’ of my memories with me, the more I was able to understand why I responded the way I do. This catapulted me into the driver’s seat of my own life. I encourage anyone struggling with any form of PTSD – or anyone who has experienced any trauma – to seek out trauma therapy. My recovery was absolutely revolutionized through this process.

By Patricia Moceo

The post These 4 Tips For Healing PTSD Will Give You Hope – appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

These 4 Tips For Healing PTSD Will Give You Hope

Healing PTSD is a process. In my life trauma was buried deep, but its effects overwhelming and sent me to jail. Before I began my journey to recovery, I spent most of my life ill-equipped, undiagnosed, and absolutely oblivious of the trauma calling all of the shots in my life. For as long as I can remember, I was full of crippling anxiety and enslaved to fear. Like children of alcoholics, I turned to substances to numb my pain.

Children of Alcoholics are confused Credit Adobe



Why Children Of Alcoholics Are Traumatized

I grew up in a small town, outside of Atlanta, Georgia. My birth mother was an addict and absent from my life by the time I turned 2 years old. My father took me on his own and eventually met my stepmother. I was 5 years old when I was molested by a family member. I vividly remember talking with the school guidance counselor and eventually my family. To no avail, my painful confessions fell amongst deaf ears. My innocence was recklessly taken from me that day. If the adults in my life weren’t going to address the trauma I disclosed, then obviously it wasn’t worth discussing – or perhaps it was my fault all along.

Children of alcoholics have PTSD Credit Adobe



Learn Why Trauma Stalks Children of Alcoholics

I remember feeling inadequate from a very young age. I had deep-rooted trust issues that were eventually validated by my toxic relationship with my bi-polar stepmother. Somedays she was spontaneous and fun. Other days, I couldn’t breathe without some form of criticism spouting out of her mouth. The unpredictable environment and intermittent love, within my household, cultivated my fears of rejection, abandonment, and my desperate need to please. I was always on edge and I became the poster child of codependency. I felt like the “Walking Dead” – unable to be present, repeating traumatic behaviors, total dissociation, and emotionally dead. It wasn’t long before I found that drugs and alcohol never required much more than participation out of me. For the first time in my life, the racing thoughts, nightmares, panic attacks, and vulnerability escaped me. I was able to achieve a permanent state of dissociation through my addiction.

Trauma caused my substance use

Years passed, my disease progressed, and I couldn’t drink, swallow, or indulge in enough substances to numb my pain. Legal consequences caught up to me and grace met me in the form of utter desperation as I was detoxing on a cold jail cell floor. I was left with the option of accepting help or die by way of chemical suicide. I had a son, and at the time, he saved me. I didn’t love myself enough to embark on the journey to recovery but I did love him enough to give sobriety and healing a real shot. I will never forget the “Complex PTSD” diagnosis I received in treatment. Initially, I scoffed at the idea that I had any issue surpassing my self propelled substance abuse disorder.

Sobriety began my healing PTSD

A few months into my sobriety, I realized that drugs/alcohol were not my problem – they had been my solution. The more I was educated on CPTSD, the more glaring my disorder became. All of the symptoms of CPTSD, that I exhibited, had been seemingly necessary for my survival. I soon learned that without drugs and alcohol, I was still miserable. As therapy continued, I realized that the only way I could ever experience true freedom and happiness was to walk through my fear and face old traumas head-on. I will have 3 years sober this month and I live a life beyond my wildest dreams thanks to accepting the suggestions given by other people struggling with CPTSD. My sobriety – my life – has been absolutely revolutionized by implementing these practices into my life.

4 Tips For Healing PTSD That Worked For Me



1.Cultivate Gratitude

Perception is everything. Studies have shown a direct correlation with gratitude and overall mental wellbeing. Specifically, a 2006 study found that Vietnam War Veterans cultivating higher levels of gratitude experienced lower rates of PTSD. Trauma causes fear and gratitude cultivates happiness and peace. I continue to write out a gratitude list every day – the same way I have since I first got sober. Reflecting upon my day, I write out a gratitude list and send it over, via group text, to the most important women in my life. I’ve noticed the immediate perception shift that happens when I’m reading through the multitude of gratitude lists. When I fill my head with positive thoughts, there is little room for my intrusive traumatic memories of the past. Over time, cultivating gratitude has become a habit in which I notice and appreciate the good things in life rather than obsessing over painful memories.

2. Practice Mindfulness Meditation

We feel the most alive when we are radically present in the moment. For many of us – struggling with PTSD – we spend much of our lives not noticing those moments in our lives. I once heard someone say “I live my life forward and understand it backward.” This concept resonates with me. I have always lived in anxiety about the future and looking back into the past, trying to access how I wish I would’ve done things differently. The internal chatter many of us face is intrusive and disruptive to any attempt at practice mindfulness. The beauty of trauma education and the byproduct of practical application is learning new healthy coping skills. I remember sitting in sessions and experiencing total depersonalization. I would tell my therapist exactly how I was feeling, at that moment, and immediately she would walk me through exercising healthy coping skills. I learned how to ground myself when I felt like I was dissociating and losing touch with the world around me. We would start by bringing awareness to my breath, then my feet, which would shift my focus entirely. Mindful Meditation has enhanced my sobriety and continues to mitigate the symptoms of my CPTSD.

3.Connect With Nature

The Japanese expression Shinrin-yoku is a term that means “taking in the forest atmosphere” or “forest bathing.” This has become a cornerstone in preventative healthcare and healing in Japanese culture. Many scientific studies have proven the innumerable amount of benefits spending time in the forest has on your overall emotional state. In early recovery, I found myself waking up with the sun and basking in the warmth along with the smell of fresh salty air. Starting my day, with nature, reminded me of how small I am in this vast world and cultivated a deep appreciation for the beautiful new world around me. When I continue to take time to be present in the moment, I find that my anxieties seem to subside. Whether it’s venturing to your local park and indulging in the texture of the freshly cut grass or simply going for a walk on the beach – the best way to soothe a troubled heart and messy head is by connecting with nature.

4. Participate in Trauma Therapy

Desperate for relief, I began weekly sessions of trauma therapy. I was finally able to divulge the deepest, darkest painful secrets of my past. I began to trust again. I was offered a totally different perspective and upon taking action I was able to relinquish myself of playing the victim. The truth is, underneath all of the drugs and alcohol, was a scared little girl that never felt good enough. While treating my addiction, I was forced to take a look at the physical, mental, and spiritual maladies that beseeched me. A major part of my transformation in trauma therapy came from exploring my history with trauma. As we began looking at the current traumatic experiences I was facing, it was revealed to me that each instance was directly connected to an unhealed traumatic experience from my childhood. It was cathartic in nature – a spiritual experience of sorts. My unhealthy, toxic survival strategies were no longer serving me and it was suggested I begin to start the work on healing the childhood trauma that plagued me. The more my therapist walked through the ‘minefield’ of my memories with me, the more I was able to understand why I responded the way I do. This catapulted me into the driver’s seat of my own life. I encourage anyone struggling with any form of PTSD – or anyone who has experienced any trauma – to seek out trauma therapy. My recovery was absolutely revolutionized through this process.

By Patricia Moceo

10 Things To Know About Children Of Alcoholics –

Chances are you, or people you know, are children of alcoholics or substance users. Some 27 million adult children of alcoholics and substance users suffer from the trauma of abuse associated with drinking and drugging. Further some six million children under the age of 18 are living in homes with parents who drink or use.

Why Does Fear Stalk Children of Alcoholics

Growing up in an unstable environment is stressful. Some days a parent is on top of the world and loving, and the next day that same parent is passed out on the floor of the living room a pool of pee and vomit. Parents who drink and take drugs have mood swings and can’t always get things done, like feeding and taking care of their children. They also problems with anger and are commonly both verbally and physically abusive. They blame everyone around them for everything that goes wrong, and the damage can last a lifetime.

Children of Alcoholics Don’t Know Normal

Imagine a life where you are a child and have to keep secrets, pretend everything is okay, and work so hard not to make thing worse by doing or saying the wrong thing.

Being the child of an addict is complicated, and those affected can’t always verbalize what happened to them or what they need to heal. Says Joni Edelman, “Even if we’ve had enough therapy to buy our psychiatrist a boat, we still may not even know we are dysfunctional. Bear with us as we continue the work of figuring it all out.”

Children of Alcoholics Laundry List Of Dysfunction

Here are the 10 things children of alcoholics would like you to know — even if they can’t articulate them:

1. We Don’t Know Normal

Normal is a relative term, yes. But our normal is not on the relativity scale. Normal for us can include instability, fear, even abuse. Normal might be a parent passed out in their own vomit. Normal might be taking care of your household, your siblings, your parent(s), and very rarely yourself. This profound lack of understanding leads us to the conclusion that normal = perfect, and less than perfect is unacceptable. Perfect is a non-negotiable term — there are no blurred lines. It’s all or nothing.

2. We Are Afraid

A lot of the time. And the fear is hidden — sometimes very deeply. We are afraid of the future, specifically the unknown. The unknown was our reality for many years. We may not have known where our parents were, or when they’d return. We might not have known if there would be dinner or drunkenness. While we may know now that those things aren’t likely to happen, that doesn’t make life any less terrifying. This fear may express itself in a number of ways, everything from anger to tears. We probably won’t recognize it as fear.

3. We Are Afraid Of Having Children

We are afraid to have children and when we do, we are afraid to wreck them, like we are wrecked. If we can acknowledge our own damage, we definitely don’t want to inflict it on anyone else. We don’t really know how to be a parent. It’s actually panic inducing. We will second-guess everything we do and may over-parent for fear of under-parenting.

4. We Feel Guilty

About everything. We don’t understand self-care. We don’t have clear-cut boundaries. If we stand up for ourselves, we feel guilty. If we take care of ourselves, we feel guilty. Our life is built on a foundation of I give to you and receive nothing. We don’t know how to receive.

5. We Are Controlling

Because we don’t know normal, and because we are afraid, we may often seek to exert control over anything and everything around us. This can manifest itself in our homes, our work, or our relationships. We may often be inflexible. We don’t usually see this as dysfunction. We will likely frame this as a strength.

6. We Are Perfectionists

We are terribly critical of ourselves — of every detail. Because of this internal dialogue of self-loathing, we are often sensitive to criticism from others. This is deeply-seated fear of rejection. Please pause, if you are able, and choose your words with compassion. We may have lacked for love. We need it.

7. We Had No Peace In Our Childhood

We don’t know peace. This is ironic, because we believe only in perfection and yet we create chaos. Chaos, stress, unrest: these are comfortable for us. We feel at home in these circumstances, not because they are healthy, but because they feel normal.

8. We Have To Be In Charge Of Everything

This manifests itself mostly in female daughters and especially the oldest female daughters of an addict mother (we have our own books, even). Because these women — like myself — have been forced to take on the responsibilities of the incapable parent(s), they will be the first person to take on everything — to their own detriment. Responsibility is the name of the game. And we will take responsibility for everyone; their emotions, their needs, their lives. In fact, it’s easier to take responsibility for everyone else than even ourselves.

9. We Seek Approval

Constantly. Our self-esteem is exceptionally low. Our addicted parents were unable to provide the love and nurturing we required to form secure attachment. As such, we will seek that in all our relationships going forward. All of them. This need for approval manifests itself in generally self-sacrificing behavior. We will give to our own detriment. Please remind us to take care of ourselves, too.

10. We Live In Conflict

We want to be perfect, but we can’t because we are paralyzed by fear. We want to control our surroundings, but we desperately want to be taken care of. We desperately want to be self-assured, because we know that’s the key to the control we seek, but we can’t be self-assured because we grew up believing we had no worth.

Alanon can help

The post 10 Things To Know About Children Of Alcoholics – appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

10 Things To Know About Children Of Alcoholics

Chances are you, or people you know, are children of alcoholics or substance users. Some 27 million adult children of alcoholics and substance users suffer from the trauma of abuse associated with drinking and drugging. Further some six million children under the age of 18 are living in homes with parents who drink or use.

Why Does Fear Stalk Children of Alcoholics

Growing up in an unstable environment is stressful. Some days a parent is on top of the world and loving, and the next day that same parent is passed out on the floor of the living room a pool of pee and vomit. Parents who drink and take drugs have mood swings and can’t always get things done, like feeding and taking care of their children. They also problems with anger and are commonly both verbally and physically abusive. They blame everyone around them for everything that goes wrong, and the damage can last a lifetime.

Children of Alcoholics Don’t Know Normal

Imagine a life where you are a child and have to keep secrets, pretend everything is okay, and work so hard not to make thing worse by doing or saying the wrong thing.

Being the child of an addict is complicated, and those affected can’t always verbalize what happened to them or what they need to heal. Says Joni Edelman, “Even if we’ve had enough therapy to buy our psychiatrist a boat, we still may not even know we are dysfunctional. Bear with us as we continue the work of figuring it all out.”

Children of Alcoholics Laundry List Of Dysfunction

Here are the 10 things children of alcoholics would like you to know — even if they can’t articulate them:

1. We Don’t Know Normal

Normal is a relative term, yes. But our normal is not on the relativity scale. Normal for us can include instability, fear, even abuse. Normal might be a parent passed out in their own vomit. Normal might be taking care of your household, your siblings, your parent(s), and very rarely yourself. This profound lack of understanding leads us to the conclusion that normal = perfect, and less than perfect is unacceptable. Perfect is a non-negotiable term — there are no blurred lines. It’s all or nothing.

2. We Are Afraid

A lot of the time. And the fear is hidden — sometimes very deeply. We are afraid of the future, specifically the unknown. The unknown was our reality for many years. We may not have known where our parents were, or when they’d return. We might not have known if there would be dinner or drunkenness. While we may know now that those things aren’t likely to happen, that doesn’t make life any less terrifying. This fear may express itself in a number of ways, everything from anger to tears. We probably won’t recognize it as fear.

3. We Are Afraid Of Having Children

We are afraid to have children and when we do, we are afraid to wreck them, like we are wrecked. If we can acknowledge our own damage, we definitely don’t want to inflict it on anyone else. We don’t really know how to be a parent. It’s actually panic inducing. We will second-guess everything we do and may over-parent for fear of under-parenting.

4. We Feel Guilty

About everything. We don’t understand self-care. We don’t have clear-cut boundaries. If we stand up for ourselves, we feel guilty. If we take care of ourselves, we feel guilty. Our life is built on a foundation of I give to you and receive nothing. We don’t know how to receive.

5. We Are Controlling

Because we don’t know normal, and because we are afraid, we may often seek to exert control over anything and everything around us. This can manifest itself in our homes, our work, or our relationships. We may often be inflexible. We don’t usually see this as dysfunction. We will likely frame this as a strength.

6. We Are Perfectionists

We are terribly critical of ourselves — of every detail. Because of this internal dialogue of self-loathing, we are often sensitive to criticism from others. This is deeply-seated fear of rejection. Please pause, if you are able, and choose your words with compassion. We may have lacked for love. We need it.

7. We Had No Peace In Our Childhood

We don’t know peace. This is ironic, because we believe only in perfection and yet we create chaos. Chaos, stress, unrest: these are comfortable for us. We feel at home in these circumstances, not because they are healthy, but because they feel normal.

8. We Have To Be In Charge Of Everything

This manifests itself mostly in female daughters and especially the oldest female daughters of an addict mother (we have our own books, even). Because these women — like myself — have been forced to take on the responsibilities of the incapable parent(s), they will be the first person to take on everything — to their own detriment. Responsibility is the name of the game. And we will take responsibility for everyone; their emotions, their needs, their lives. In fact, it’s easier to take responsibility for everyone else than even ourselves.

9. We Seek Approval

Constantly. Our self-esteem is exceptionally low. Our addicted parents were unable to provide the love and nurturing we required to form secure attachment. As such, we will seek that in all our relationships going forward. All of them. This need for approval manifests itself in generally self-sacrificing behavior. We will give to our own detriment. Please remind us to take care of ourselves, too.

10. We Live In Conflict

We want to be perfect, but we can’t because we are paralyzed by fear. We want to control our surroundings, but we desperately want to be taken care of. We desperately want to be self-assured, because we know that’s the key to the control we seek, but we can’t be self-assured because we grew up believing we had no worth.

Alanon can help

Do You Play The Blame Game WIth Loved Ones –

There are two parties in the addiction blame game. Those suffering from Substance Use Disorder (SUD) or Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD), and their friends, family, and loved ones. Family and friends can be verbally brutal during periods of active addiction. They want their loved one to stop so badly, they do or say hurtful things trying to effect a positive change. They also may have selective memory and focus on the pain loved ones caused rather than the positive results that recovery had brought. Those with substance use disorders may remember harsh words and actions for the rest of their lives even if their family members actually supported them, paid for their treatment, and acted in honorable ways beyond what they said.

Learn How To Stop Playing The Blame Game
Here Are 2 True-Life Examples Of Stopping The Blame Game
Alice And Jennie

Jennie was a heroin addict who drained her mother, Alice’s, resources over a decade and eventually stole her laptop and jewelry. Jennie has forgotten her own actions and the hurt they caused because it was addiction and not her. Unfortunately, she continues to verbally strike out at her mother of not loving or caring for her enough while she was using. Jennie specifically won’t forgive her mother for not traveling 100 miles every week to bring her soft toilet paper when she was in jail on drug charges. Alice feels guilty enough about Jennie’s drug journey, and Jennie anger about the past keeps her nervous and worried about what she should be doing better now.

Alice’s Resolution

Alice goes to Al-Anon to learn not to engage with Alice when she complains. While Jennie is not in emotional recovery, Alice is taking care of herself.

Why These  8 Traits of Family Function Make Happy Families
Dan And Peter

Dan is a well-meaning father who constantly reminded his son, Peter, a recovering addict of 13 years, that he has not fulfilled his potential and could be doing so much better in life. This constant rebuke was like opening old wounds for Dan every time they talked or met. In fact, Peter started a small business, is busy and engaged in his community, and leads a successful life that he enjoys to the fullest.

Dan’s Resolution

Dan saw a therapist to ease the tension in their relationship. Dan began to understand that his expectations for his son were the problem. Peter is happy and successful on his own terms even if he isn’t doing what his father planned for him. When Dan stopped talking about his own feelings and accepted reality, they became close friends.

The blame game whatever form it takes is juicy and gets you going. But engaging in it is keeps the conflict, tension and unhappiness going. If you don’t blame others or react when others blame you. There’s nothing to fight about. Game Over.

Quiz: When You’re Triggered What Do You Do?

You’re Dan’s girlfriend and see Dan smoking at a party when he promised not to smoke. You remember that he is a recovering addict and panic thinking crack is next:

Do you remind him that he’s an addict and this is the slippery slope to relapse?
Do you tell him smoking is bad for him?
Do you ask what’s up with the smoking? Just a neutral question. 

You’re Gretchen’s mother. You see Gretchen eying your purse. You’ve just been to the bank and have some cash for errands. Gretchen used to steal this cash for drugs years ago.  Gretchen knows you and that you are about to say something. Do you:

Panic and yell at her to get away from your purse as you have done many times in the past?
Ask her if she needs anything?
Make a point of getting up to move your purse?

You’re Adam’s sister. You hear that Adam is telling everyone he knows that you are to blame for much of what he suffered while an addict. You have that heart-stopping desire to strike back with stories about what he did to you. Do you:

Tell the world that he’s a lying jerk.
Heap some hurt onto him via his girlfriend and Facebook.
Know the blame game is a waste of time, shrug it off. You have your own life to live.

If you picked 3. 2. 3., you know how to stop the blame game. If you picked some other answers, you’re still playing the game, and probably still getting into some fights.

In the Blame Game there are no winners and everyone ends up hurt. Finding ways to stop playing is the best game of all.

The post Do You Play The Blame Game WIth Loved Ones – appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.