Leslie Glass's Blog, page 246
August 28, 2019
Creativity For Mental Health
Looking back at my younger years during school, I had a lot of bottled up emotions, some of which I am still dealing with today.
Trapped in my own fears
I have never been great at really saying how I feel and for a while I became trapped in my own fears, feeling as though no one would understand. Even just being unable to properly vocalise the issues I was going through made me extremely ‘closed-off’ to my family and friends. This caused my mental health to deteriorate as I went from being happy and having an ocean of friends to feeling so alone and unmotivated.
Losing control of who I was
Listening to that negative voice inside my head, telling me no one cared or understood, was like a domino effect that spiralled into other areas of my life. For years I felt like I lost control of who I was. I had lost all my friends simply because they didn’t know how to help or deal with problems surrounding mental health. This is why I think there needs to be more conversations in schools regarding prevention and mental health awareness at a young age.
Expressing feelings with creativity
From primary school through to my college years, I noticed that I gravitated towards the more creative subjects. It became evident to the teachers and I that I had been exceling in subjects like theatre, music, art and design technology. The thing I loved about these subjects is that they created a safe place to express the way I was feeling without having to use words.
As I began to fall in love with these creative mediums and really use them as a form of expression I soon realised that it had a significant effect on how I saw myself, how others saw me and how I dealt with issues that I have previously found difficult. I began to silence the negative voice.
“The thing I loved about these subjects is that they created a safe place to express the way I was feeling without having to use words.”
Having found that expressing myself through means of creative outlets was easiest for me, I can say that it has helped me during the more frantic periods of my life. I began to draw and paint outside of school when I found it most difficult to speak about personal issues, to communicate and release some of that negative tension within my mind. This allowed me to have a clearer vision on how to deal with the struggle before getting overwhelmed – which in turn acted as a gateway to some of my current passions such as dancing, for which I am now a coach.
Since being proactive with creative activities, my life has never been the same. I became more relaxed mentally and even when further issues arise that would have previously caused me to shut down and isolate myself, I understand the power of engaging in the creative arts and can now use them to my advantage.
Listening to your body
One thing I wish I was aware of and had paid more attention to is my body. Our bodies are full of wisdom if we take time to listen to them they often give us early warning signals of how we’re doing – little tensions to tell us that unless we relax, bigger storms will come. It’s good to pay attention to your body and feelings whether these are good or bad.
My personal experience is that when I’m becoming overwhelmed and stressed, one of my early warning signs is that I become fatigued frequently despite having enough rest. Without acknowledging these signs, I can see how easy it is to fall into that dark place where I felt miniscule in comparison to my problems. However, since identifying these triggers and tackling them with creativity I feel very comfortable and in control of my emotions. I now know that taking part in creative activities such as dance and painting improves my mood dramatically – it provides a new focus and allows my mind to stabilise and put things into perspective.
“I see how art helps to understand myself” – (MHF supporter, Twitter)
I believe the greatest benefit to using art as a creative way of releasing the stress, fear and anxiety is that you can do it without having to use words.
Learn more about arts and mental health
In this blog we look at the added value of the arts and how they can keep us happy and in good mental health.
This content was originally published here.
The post Creativity For Mental Health appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Change Is Hard, But You Can’t Quit Trying!
What makes you change your behavior?
If you’re reading this, odds are you want to develop a habit or change a behavior. Maybe you want to improve your concentration because your performance at school has been suffering. Or you’re not happy with the diet you’ve been following.
Whatever the change may be, the question is this:
What made you want to change?
People always look back and assume their decision to change occurred instantly, during a particular day or event. You might think the day you subscribed to the Fabulous app was the day you decided to strengthen your mind.
But psychologists know that such decisions are rarely instant in nature. The 5 Stages of Change model has been designed to chart how the mind ultimately changes a particular behavior. And knowing this model can help you be more aware of your thoughts, and the ways in which you can improve behavioral change.
Take the first step towards inner awareness! Start with a 5 Minute “Breather” Meditation session from the app’s Make Me Fabulous section.
The 5 Steps Your Mind Takes
It’s easy to mistakenly believe that changing your mind about something is like flipping a switch. Perhaps it comes from the way change is depicted in movies and TV Shows. We see characters experience something that makes them grit their teeth and clench their fists as the background score swells. However, in real life, our mind needs to be coaxed into taking several steps in the right direction. Keep in mind, the time between these steps can be as short as minutes, or as long as an entire lifetime.
Step #1: “Nah, I’m Fine!”
Officially referred to as the “Precontemplation” stage, this is the phase where you are quite happy with your choices and overall lifestyle. This is when you shrug off jokes about your fitness or muffle the alarm clock beneath your pillow without a second thought. And if friends, family members or authority figures like doctors try to advise you, your reaction might even be negative.
At this stage, your mind is either in denial about the problem or simply unaware of it. The key is to get to the next step. And the best way to let that happen is by keeping an open mind, one that’s free to take a step in a better direction if necessary.
Step #2: “You know what…”
The “Contemplation” stage is when the idea first begins to seep into your mind. It isn’t a fully formed idea right away, though. Instead, mere seeds that are planted through the things you see and hear, the emotions you experience. Let’s say the habit you ultimately adopt is regular exercise. Then at this particular stage, a series of events will build up that desire within you.
Maybe it starts with your favorite jeans not fitting well anymore. Then you might run into an old friend who has shaken off their depression through daily running. A few days later an ad pops up for two months free gym membership. The total duration of the Contemplation stage depends on the external circumstances, and more importantly, your internal attitude.
All these individual moments will ultimately culminate with a change in mindset. Something that makes you take a deep breath, shake your head and say, “You know what, I need to (Change a particular behavior)!” Interestingly enough, it might not be the obvious experiences that trigger this change. Others might expect you to start exercising after seeing your latest medical report, but instead, it could be the way you panted after playing hide and seek with your little daughter that brings about the epiphany.
Once you realize you want to change, the key is to act immediately. Otherwise, you run the risk of letting your mind raise flimsy objections and put up frustrating obstacles.
Step #3: “From Now On…”
Academics label it the “Determination” stage, the period right after you’ve made up your mind to change or adopt a habit. It’s that phase in life when everyone around you might chuckle or tease you for starting a sentence with the above three words.
“From now on, no more pizza and soda!”
“From now on, no more late night parties!”
Though it might seem amusing to others, such enthusiasm and excitement can be extremely beneficial, if channeled in the right direction. At this phase of the behavior change journey, you need to find a balance between caution and commitment. Meaning, it’s probably not a great idea to buy a Platinum Lifetime Membership at Gold’s Gym immediately. But you shouldn’t waste too much time looking around for more choices either.
So make reasonable yet challenging decisions that can be altered and perfected over time. And once you’ve bought a good pair of shoes and set the alarm for 6 A.M. in the morning, it’s time to take the next step.
Step #4: “Let’s Do This!”
When you wake up in the morning and hit the gym, you’re firmly in the “Action” stage of the Change Model. It’s easy to assume this is the most important phase of your transformation. After months or maybe even years of inactivity, you’re finally doing the thing you never thought you would! It’s an exciting time, but sadly, Action is not the last stage. There’s one more step you have to take.
Step #5: “Get Up. Get Going. Get Rest. Repeat.”
Most of the motivational and inspirational material, both online and in the real world, focuses on the 4th Stage. As a result, many tend to disregard just how important this 5th stage of “Maintenance” really is. So it’s crucial to understand that adopting or changing a particular behavior requires time and consistency. It’s a long journey which needs an appropriate mindset, one that focuses on the process of change rather than just the ultimate outcome.
Let the Fabulous app help you stay on track with your goals. The “Start an Exercise Habit” Journey will guide you through the challenges of the first 6 months and help you establish a permanent habit!
Step #6: “Why Do We Fall, Bruce?”
This is probably the stage you don’t want to read about, especially when you’re ready to start a new habit. But researchers believe that “Relapse” is an integral part of the Change Model. The key is to understand that, falling down does not mean you are a failure. The trick is to understand that everybody fails. But only a few manage to remember Alfred Pennyworth’s words to Batman.
“Why do we fall, Sir? So that we can pick ourselves up.”
Which Step Are You Going to Take?
It’s important to remember that the Stages of Change Model is sequential in nature. Meaning, researchers believe that we move from one stage to another. So as you read this, ask yourself: Where am I right now?
Have you never considered changing? Or is there a thought that’s brewing within? Maybe you’re about to plunge into action tomorrow morning. Or perhaps you’re feeling lousy about having failed.
Whatever the case may be, remember two things. One, you can always take the next step. And second, you have the Fabulous app ready to help you in every possible way.
The post Why is Behavior Change So Hard, But Why You Should Keep Trying appeared first on Fabulous Magazine.
This content was originally published here.
The post Change Is Hard, But You Can’t Quit Trying! appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
What’s The Best Way To Try And Change Your Behavior?
We all have goals we want to achieve, behaviors we want to change, and habits we want to build (or break). Finding things we want to accomplish is the easy part. But putting in the work to actually hit them? That’s where things usually fall apart.
One of the oldest arguments around behavior change comes down to this: Should we make our ambitions public or keep them inside?
As it turns out, the answer isn’t a simple one.
So what does it take to commit to real behavior change? Let’s look at two of the most popular methods: social pressure and commitment devices.
The 5 reasons most behavior change fails
Anyone who’s been on a crash diet or stuck to a new schedule for a week knows it’s pretty easy to make short-term changes to our behaviors. It’s when we try for long-term, sustained changes where things become difficult.
Psychologists have been studying our inability to make big changes for years and have uncovered five primary reasons why your efforts fall short:
We’re motivated by negative emotions. You might think negative emotions like fear or regret would inspire you to make a change, but the opposite is actually true. One review of 129 studies found that the least effective behavior change strategies were consistently ones that focused on fear and regret.
We forget that failure is a part of the process. Too many times, we focus on the end goal and not the process. Failure during behavior change isn’t the end of the road. It’s a street sign pointing you toward what you need to focus on.
We don’t make a commitment. Any major change requires some commitment—whether public or private—to keep you dedicated to seeing it through.
While we’ve covered some of the most impactful of these issues in previous blog posts (like our Guide to Effective Goal Setting, Why you Should be Setting Smaller Goals, and Understanding Motivation: How to harness the power of consistent productivity), what about the final one?
When it comes to behavior change, what’s the best strategy for sticking to our commitments? Should we make them in public? Or keep them to ourselves?
Social pressure vs. commitment devices: Which strategy is better for behavior change?
Once you’ve decided on a change you want to make, broken it down into actionable steps, and defined your process for making a change, how should you keep yourself accountable?
There are two popular methods that psychologists and behavioral scientists have been studying for years: social pressure and commitment devices.
But is one better than the other?
Social pressure: Is it better to fail in public?
We’ve all been in those situations where we’ve stuck with a behavior out of fear of public ridicule. And while social pressure might have helped you change your fashion choices in middle school, can it also help you change your work habits?
Let’s think of a common scenario: New Year’s Resolutions.
Imagine you set a resolution to change your morning routine and time block an hour every morning for writing instead of jumping straight into emails. To keep you committed, you tell your coworkers what you’re doing and post publicly about it.
This might seem like a good idea, however, the research says otherwise. Studies have found we’re less likely to keep up with our goals after we publicize them. Here’s why:
First, our brain confuses talking about your goal with actually working toward it. This gap between intention and implementation only widens when people get excited about our goals. Excitement about your potential changes provides a rush of dopamine—the feel-good chemical that powers many of our behaviors.
Going public with our goals also makes us more likely to celebrate our success prematurely. Instead of focusing on making daily progress, we talk openly about hitting a week of different behaviors. All this leads our brain to assume we’ve hit our goal and then revert back to old behaviors.
Lastly, social pressure usually relies on fear to motivate. We’re afraid of seeming incompetent, which, as we saw before, doesn’t lead to sustained change.
Commitment devices: Are we more motivated when we keep things to ourselves?
If sharing our goals leads us to become complacent and give up too early, then what are our other options?
One of the most powerful options is to use what’s called a commitment device. A commitment device is a way to lock yourself into behavior change by linking it to a reward or punishment.
One of the oldest (albeit fictional) examples of a commitment device is the story of Odysseus who tied himself to his ship’s mast so he wouldn’t be entranced by the siren’s song.
But no one’s tying themselves to a ship’s mast these days. So what sort of commitment devices can you use to promote behavior change?
Let’s go back to our first example: writing every morning for an hour. There are all sorts of commitment devices you could use for keeping up with this change.
Here are a few ideas:
$1 donated to your favorite charity when you hit your goal and $10 donated to a charity you hate when you miss it.
30 minutes of TV per night when you hit your goal and none if you miss it.
Blocking distracting websites like social media for the rest of the day if you don’t hit your goal.
The most powerful commitment device
While most of the commitment devices listed above rely on clearly defined rewards and punishments, that isn’t always the best approach.
Remember how we said that behavior change fails when we focus on the negative? If you’re only relying on a negative consequence to keep you committed, you’re probably not going to last for long.
Instead, the most powerful commitment devices act more like gentle reminders rather than hard-set rules.
A few years ago, RescueTime teamed up with Cornell researcher Richard Patterson to understand how to keep people committed to something many drop out of: Online courses (or, MOOCs).
The biggest issue with MOOCs is that they’re self-paced and usually free, meaning they rely entirely on students managing their own time with little penalty for dropping out or giving up.
In fact, The Washington Post reports that most online classes have a completion rate of less than 10%. This makes them a perfect candidate for research into commitment devices.
In Patterson’s study, he broke a group of 650 students down into four groups:
A control group.
Those who received a RescueTime Alert after each 30-minute period spent on distracting websites like social media, news, and entertainment.
They could choose to use RescueTime to block distracting websites for 15 60-minute periods while logged into the online course.
They were given daily time limits for distracting websites, after which RescueTime would block them.
The study’s results found that the only group to see a significant increase in completion was group four. Rather than try to stick to some self-imposed limit or actively change their behavior, this group were able to define limits and then let RescueTime keep them accountable.
In the end, this group received higher grades, experienced a 24% increase in time spent working, and was 40% more likely to finish the course!
If you want to use this strategy yourself, you can use RescueTime Alerts.
First, choose the activity you want to limit your time on—for example, social media or news. Then, set up a RescueTime Alert for when you hit that limit and have it automatically set a FocusTime session to block that activity for however long you want.
Now, whenever I spend more than an hour on social media during work hours, I get put in an hour FocusTime session and see my custom message: “Too much time spent on social media. Focus on what matters!”
This article originally appeared on RescueTime and is reprinted permission.
This content was originally published here.
The post What’s The Best Way To Try And Change Your Behavior? appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Johnson & Johnson must pay over $572 million for its role in Oklahoma opioid crisis, judge rules
An Oklahoma judge on Monday ordered Johnson & Johnson to pay over $572 million for pushing doctors to prescribe opioids while downplaying the risks of addiction, actions that state prosecutors said helped fuel the state’s opioid epidemic and led to more than 6,000 deaths over nearly two decades.
Oklahoma Attorney General Mike Hunter claimed in court that the sales push by Johnson & Johnson and its pharmaceutical subsidiary, Janssen, starting in the 1990s had created “a public nuisance” that led to the deaths.
J&J denied any wrongdoing, and its attorney, John Sparks, said state prosecutors had misinterpreted the public nuisance law, having previously limited it to disputes involving property or public spaces.
Download the NBC News app for breaking news and politics
Cleveland County District Judge Thad Balkman disagreed, and said that Johnson & Johnson’s “misleading marketing and promotion of opioids created a nuisance” in the state.
“The opioid crisis has ravaged the state of Oklahoma, it must be abated immediately,” Balkman said in court Monday. “For this reason, I’m entering an abatement plan that consists of costs totaling $572,102,028 to immediately remediate the nuisance.
Michael Ullmann, the company’s executive vice president and general counsel, said in a statement that J&J did not create the opioid crisis in Oklahoma and plans to appeal the decision.
“This judgment is a misapplication of public nuisance law that has already been rejected by judges in other states,” Ullman said. “The unprecedented award for the State’s ‘abatement plan’ has sweeping ramifications for many industries and bears no relation to the Company’s medicines or conduct.”
In Balkman’s full written decision, he stated that the pharmaceutical company’s sales program was designed to reach doctors multiple times throughout their careers. J&J pushed an “education” program through sales representatives, funded articles in medical journals and paid speakers.
None of these programs properly addressed the risks of addiction and there was no training provided to sales representatives on the history of opioid use or addiction, according to the court’s ruling.
“The Defendants’ opioid marketing, in its multitude of forms, was false, deceptive and misleading,” according to the written decision.
The case was seen as a litmus test for nearly 2,000 pending opioid cases before a federal judge in Ohio, especially as other pharmaceutical companies faced with similar accusations have chosen to settle.
Purdue Pharma, the privately held maker of OxyContin that has faced the brunt of the blame for the nationwide opioid epidemic, reached a $270 million settlement with the Oklahoma attorney general’s office in March. Oklahoma also settled with Teva Pharmaceutical for $85 million, just days before it went to trial against the Israeli opioid manufacturer in Cleveland County. Both companies denied any wrongdoing.
Hunter pushed the judge to force J&J to pay the state $17 billion, which would be put toward addiction treatment and prevention programs over the next 30 years. Balkman’s verdict only granted a year’s worth of the estimated cost for the program.
The judge’s written decision said that the state failed to present sufficient evidence of what time and costs would be necessary beyond the first year of the program.
During the trial, Hunter claimed that J&J and other pharmaceutical companies rushed to produce a “magic pill” in their pursuit of profits, while ignoring decades of scientific research that showed the dangers of opioids. The judge heard testimony from victims of the crisis, including a father of a college football player who died of a drug overdose.
They “embarked on a cynical, deceitful, multibillion-dollar brainwashing campaign to establish opioid analgesics as the magic drug,” Hunter told the court. “Money may not be the root of all evil but … money can make people and businesses do bad things. Very bad things.”
Hunter said Monday that his team of prosecutors proved J&J “built its billion-dollar brand out of greed and on the backs of pain and suffering of innocent people.”
“Throughout the trial our team proved what we have alleged all along, that the company used pseudoscience and misleading information that downplayed the risks of opioids leading to the worst man-made public nuisance this state and our county has ever seen: the opioid crisis,” he said.
This content was originally published here.
The post Johnson & Johnson must pay over $572 million for its role in Oklahoma opioid crisis, judge rules appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
August 27, 2019
Morning Exercise May Offer the Most Weight Loss Benefits – The New York Times
So, for the new study, which was published in July in The International Journal of Obesity, Dr. Willis and his colleagues sifted through their data again, this time looking at when people in the Midwest trial had shown up at the university lab.
In that study, participants could visit the gym whenever they wished between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m., signing in each time, so researchers had plenty of precise information about their schedules. The scientists also had tracked everyone’s calorie intakes and daily movement habits throughout the 10 months, using activity trackers and liquid energy tracers. They knew, too, whether and by how much people’s weights had changed.
Now, they checked weight change against exercise schedules and quickly noticed a consistent pattern.
Those people who usually worked out before noon had lost more weight, on average, than the men and women who typically exercised after 3 p.m. (For unknown reasons, very few people went to the gym between noon and 3.)
The researchers uncovered a few other, possibly relevant differences between the morning and late-day exercisers. The early-exercise group tended to be slightly more active throughout the day, taking more steps in total than those who worked out later. They also ate a bit less, although the difference amounted to barely 100 calories per day on average. Over all, such differences were barely discernible.
Yet, they may cumulatively have contributed to the striking differences in how many pounds people lost, Dr. Willis says.
Of course, this study was not large or designed from the start to delve into the chronobiology of exercise and weight. The researchers had not randomly assigned people to work out at particular times, so the links between exercise timing and weight loss they saw now in their re-analysis could be odd accidents related to individual participants’ preferences and schedules with little relevance for the rest of us.
This content was originally published here.
The post Morning Exercise May Offer the Most Weight Loss Benefits – The New York Times appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Sober Curious Mom Celebrates 11 years sober
I was a sober curious mom before it was a thing. It’s still not quite a thing, but maybe we can make it one. I was a mom whose life was changed forever by teen substance and alcohol use. Angry, sad, scared, hurt, I was miserable in every way. During the teen escalation years, however, I knew that denial of teen drinking and pot smoking risked addiction. I had to face it.
You can’t negotiate your way out of teen substance use
Lesson number one for me was that If you know your teen is using, you can’t do things the same old way and expect a miracle. You can’t yell, scream, plead, argue, negotiate or bribe your way out of teen use. You can’t have a drink or a joint in your hand and tell your kid not to do as you do. You have to do something different. For me it meant changing myself. And I stopped drinking.
I was a sober curious mom who stopped drinking on August 25, 2008
When recovery began to work for my loved one, I wanted to know what it feels like to give up the thing you love the most. I wanted to see what it was like to be sober in a drinking world. I’m not going to lie. It’s not good being sober, at first. No wine tastings, no martini bars, no cocktail parties. No noisy celebrations. People hearing my drink order for the first time often said, “you’re no fun.” In fact, I was more fun.
My Favorite drinkQuitting Alcohol Set Me Free
Guess what? People with denial about alcohol are the no fun ones. Lesson number two for me was that if family members or friends aren’t all on board for taking recovery steps early on, you might have to detach from them for a time, or forever.
One out of seven adults over the age of 18 has an alcohol problem
I heard from someone yesterday who was deeply angry that her
son, sober since July, relapsed on a family outing to a winery on Saturday.
Everyone stopped at two or three, but he didn’t stop drinking all night and
didn’t come home until the next day.
Maybe it’s the wish to have life return to what it was before addiction that motivates families to carry on as before and then become angry when recovery fails. If you’re a parent who wants your child to succeed, you can support that loved one by avoiding outings that center around drinking. And maybe you just don’t drink at all.
One thing I know for sure. Recovery can’t happen with the addict alone, it has to include the family, community, and, yes, a nationwide effort to make recovery comfortable for every hero who attempts it. Sober since August 25, 2008, I’d like salute all those who support recovery with all their hearts and souls.
The post Sober Curious Mom Celebrates 11 years sober appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Why Grief And Sadness Linger
Grief and sadness can catch you off guard when you least expect it. It’s been four years since my most enthusiastic cheerleaders have been gone. Between my grief and depression, there was a time that I didn’t think I would make it. The worst of it was when the brakes on my car failed, and I was left careening down a hill – my thoughts frantic between “where can I turn so I don’t hit anyone?” and “thank God my dogs aren’t in the car.”
It wasn’t until I landed on, “Good thing it’s only me. No one will miss me” that I realized I was still in it – the depression.
It was also just about then that the hill-hold kicked in on the car and I was able to steer to the shoulder and catch my breath.
Grief and sadness caught me off guard
But, wow… that stray thought really made me wonder. How could I think that? I have wonderful friends, a loving partner, my colleagues are positive, uplifting people, I love my job and am squarely in my purpose… but still that nagging dispiritedness. It caught me off guard.
I felt alone in my grief
There was no magic bullet that could dispel my longing for my parents; their belongings that I thought would bring comfort, no longer held that same power. I felt really alone in my grief. I felt as if I lost my whole family – my history – when they died, but I didn’t share how it was for me. ‘Brave’, ‘strong’ and ‘resilient’ were words people used to describe me. But, on the inside, I felt none of those things. I was unsure of myself, desperate to belong and downhearted. It showed up as insecurity; and I found myself either demanding of people’s time or not wanting to be around anyone.
How Long Does It Take To Heal
Time is a great healer, but not on its own. Time advances
because that’s what it does. Healing, however, requires self-care and
self-awareness; otherwise time passes without reflection and a negative thought
can infiltrate a beautiful life. Don’t let it. Reach out and share your truth
with someone – start the conversation! Please know that you are not alone in
this.
The post Why Grief And Sadness Linger appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
August 26, 2019
My Best Fitness Motivation Tips | Jillian Michaels
There are a million reasons why we experience frequent #fitnessfails and a million more excuses we tell ourselves for not working out altogether. But here’s the truth, all those failed attempts and convenient excuses can add up to inevitable breakdown in our physical and mental wellness. Exercise is that important. So how can you get or stay motivated when you’ve got people and responsibilities pulling you in a hundred different directions? Here’s my best advice for getting your fitness goals on track.
1. Set a specific goal.
Just saying you want to get healthy isn’t going to work. It’s like saying you want to go north east. Where? The empire state building? The Boston Freedom Trail? You can’t chart a course to a goal / destination if you have no specific destination. For example, maybe it’s running a 5k or losing 10lbs. Just be sure the goal is concrete and attach a time frame.
2. Set a realistic goal.
Speaking of timeframes, make sure your goals are realistic. Saying “I’m going to lose 10lbs in a month” is possible, but highly unlikely. Two to three months is far more achievable. Be honest with yourself about what the goal will require, what resources you have to throw at it, and then calculate how long it will take to achieve it. Being unrealistic with your goals only sets you up to fail, which can beget a viscous cycle of discouragement that is simply unnecessary and unhelpful.
3. Establish a why.
Anything worth having life will require some work and some sacrifice. Therefore, the work has to be worth it. One of my favorite quotes, “If you have a why to live for you can tolerate any how” couldn’t be more true – especially when it comes to health related goals. Think of all the ways your life will improve and remind yourself of everything you want for yourself. “I want to lose enough weight so that I can play ball with my kids without losing my breath after five minutes.” “I to feel comfortable in my bathing suit”. “I want to feel sexier in the bedroom”. There is no reason too profound and no reason too superficial as long as it matters to you.
4. Create an inspiration board.
Compile a bunch of images and messages that inspire you to reach your weight loss goal: a picture of a gorgeous beach, where you can confidently wear your bathing suit; your favorite motivational quotes; a photo of your slimmer self. Then, hang it where you can see it every day, maybe on the fridge or above your desk.
5. Recruit Support.
Community is a huge help when it comes to sticking with your healthy routine. Hence the hashtag #fitfam. Join a running group, yoga class, or fitness community of some sort that is supportive and helps you stay motivated. Many of the people who use my app belong to the @jillianmichaelsworkoutjunkies on Instagram and Facebook and find a ton of motivation with the people there.
6. Don’t let one slip up derail you.
You’re not going to be perfect all the time. You’ll miss a workout at some point or eat something that isn’t the healthiest. Just get back on the wagon. It’s that simple. You get a flat tire, you fix it and move on. You don’t jump out of the car, flog yourself, and then slash your other three tires.
7. Make fitness fun.
Don’t rely on exercises you hate because that will only make you hate working out. Choose activities and resistance equipment that feel good to you—riding a bike, Pilates, yoga, hand weights, the elliptical machine. Working out should never be easy, but it needs to be an enjoyable challenge.
8. Work out to music.
I don’t think I need to convince you that few things get you pumped like the right kind of music. Create a workout playlist of songs that make you want to rock out. Make it 100 percent personalized. No one else is listening, so plug in those earbuds and get moving!
This content was originally published here.
The post My Best Fitness Motivation Tips | Jillian Michaels appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Tips On How to Heal Your Mental Health After Divorce
Navigating through how to heal your mental health after divorce is a process that can take years. During that time, your habits and decisions may change. After all, marriage and trauma have changed you; you aren’t the same person you were when you were married.
Even though you can and will heal, you won’t go back to being the same person you were before you got married. No two people who must heal after a divorce do so in the same way, and there is no single path to success.
For some, the healing process began long before the divorce paperwork was filed. You may have accepted your situation and explored how you were tired of making the commitment to someone who just couldn’t hold up their end of the bargain. Alternatively, you may have been on the receiving end of those papers, and it may still feel like quite a shock. You’ll go through some stages of grief for your failed relationship, but there are tactics you can use to help you cope.
Here are some tips on how to heal your mental health after divorce.
Get a New Routine
The easiest thing you can do for your mental health following a divorce is to create a routine focused on you. Think about your priorities in life. You may need to care for children or pets, but you no longer need to put your partner’s needs before yours. Instead, you can have a schedule that works better for your life.
If you find that this creates extra time, consider scheduling something that will benefit you, depending on your interests and needs. Here are some suggestions:
Even if you do some of these activities once per week, you’ll find that your new schedule is more about your needs. This gets you into the positive habit of prioritizing yourself and creating new memories that don’t involve a past relationship.
Assess Your Work-Life Balance
What was your life like when you were married, and how will that change? You’ll have more time, but perhaps you’ll feel lonely. As a result, you may want to distract yourself from those feelings by focusing more intently on your career. However, be wary about picking up extra shifts at work to fill in those hours.
Over 70% of workers reported regularly experiencing stress-related psychological symptoms at work. While some of this can come from work itself, the stress of a divorce can have devastating effects on your health and on your work. These effects can be exacerbated by taking excessive overtime.
Have you ever brought personal stress to work or vice versa? Perhaps this was a contribution to your divorce. Either way, 54% of workers cited stress as causing a fight with someone close to them. And you may not be in an emotional state to be at your most productive if you are struggling with thoughts about your divorce.
As a result, you may wish to reassess what life at home feels like and how it now affects your life at work. Once a divorce is finalized, you’ll have a less stressful future to look forward to, which might mean a new work schedule, friendships with coworkers, the pursuit of a promotion, or even a career change.
Seek Mental Health Help
If left untreated, mental health problems can really mess with your life. Many seeking divorce have to deal with difficult issues about finances, child support and alimony, custody, and going from a two-income household to a single-worker household.
For some, divorce or spousal abandonment can result in foreclosure and eviction. Though it’s not often discussed, 10% of homelessness issues are caused by a change in family situation (such as a divorce), and another 10% occurs due to disability or mental health issues (which can also result from chronic stress related to divorce). In the United States, there are over 144,000 homeless individuals struggling with mental illness.
Social workers are your gateway to mental health professionals if you experience a change in your financial situation or don’t have insurance. Seek their help as soon as you start having issues, or go through your insurance provider if you have one.
Monitor Your Substance Use
When you go through a divorce, habits change. One glass of wine can regularly become four, and a pint of ice cream easily becomes a nightly habit. If you find yourself making these types of choices, consider a journal to keep yourself on track and alert your mental health provider.
You may also wish to explore alternative options such as meditation, yoga, and even CBD oil, which can help the one in five Americans experiencing mental health issues. While each of these approaches are proven to reduce stress, they’re no substitute for counseling (and, in some cases, prescribed medication).
Additionally, stable support from friends and family members is always an excellent way to improve your mental health after divorce. If you’re really hurting, ask a friend to check in on you once per week. If they have the ability to do it, they’ll put the effort in to reach out. All you have to do is respond.
Your check-in can be light and brief, or you could schedule an in-depth conversation over coffee. As your friends and family will learn, your needs may change over time. By monitoring your habits, sticking to a new schedule and seeking mental health counseling, you’ll find a great deal of mental health support in your post-divorce life.
This content was originally published here.
The post Tips On How to Heal Your Mental Health After Divorce appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
How to Practice Joy and Bravery
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.” ~Alphonse Karr
“You should have told them. You should have told them you like it. They need to know people are happy there.”
“I know I should have. But I didn’t want to seem insensitive or make anyone feel bad.”
We sat at the dinner table, my boyfriend looking at me, me staring at my cleaned plate. We’d had variations of this conversation before. I tell him my coworkers aren’t happy at work, but I am happy at work, and he is forever confused as to why I’m scared to voice up that I love this job.
Part of the reason for my silence is that I’m the youngest in the office. The pay isn’t very high, but it’s everything my partner and I need right now. I love teaching and working with students. My commute is a twenty-minute walk down a picturesque Main Street.
Obviously, there are times of stress, imposter syndrome, and downright exhaustion. But it’s nothing compared to the fear I formerly felt about not having a job and living 2,000 miles across the country from my boyfriend. Again.
Thus, when my coworkers voice concerns over meager pay and little respect, I usually pretend not to hear them, hunkering in my cubicle. Putting earbuds in with no music. Looking preoccupied with something else.
Their concerns are valid. They have families and decades more work experience than I do. We’re all in different places, which creates the spectrum of job dissatisfaction.
To say that I loved this job, that it’s the best thing that ever happened to me, I feared would alienate me further from coworkers whom I admire and respect. I am the “new kid on the block” as one referred to me, but I desperately wanted to fit in and be one of the faculty members.
I’ve danced this line before, wondering when it’s okay to accept and show joy even when others are not feeling it. How can I be respectful and supportive when I’m happy in others’ sadness? Rather than helping them off the ground, isn’t that throwing sand on their faces and walking away? What about empathy?
My partner, a skilled outdoorsman who asserts the only emotions he feels are laughter and hunger, said it simply: “You can help them if you tell them the truth.”
I’ve thought about the people who inspire me the most. The people who seem to overcome every odd: being the first in the family to graduate high school and college, finishing a Ph.D. while working full-time and raising two kids, and leading the fight against cancer when it took her mom’s life.
Knowing that other people have faced hard circumstances and still find joy is inspiring. It’s realizing that you can turn around from the desert you’ve been staring at to instead view a mountainside of purple wildflowers. Other people’s strength gives us strength. This is what my boyfriend meant when he said, “you can help them.”
More than finding happiness, intentionally looking for joy and reminding ourselves of the good things is an act of bravery. Sharing joy is an act of bravery.
We don’t have to look hard to find culturally affirming messages that work should be hard. That we should hate our jobs. That getting older sucks. That something other than the present moment is “the good old times.” And of course, that life itself is just plain hard. It’s easy to feel jealous. It’s easy to ignore what would have made us happy years ago.
That’s easy. Creating joy for yourself is hard. So, let’s all do the hard thing.
I don’t have the balance between empathy and joy figured out. One of my fears is still being insensitive to others’ pain. But I have come to realize this from more conversations and reflection on my heroes: We help others more than we hurt them when we share our joy.
We open possibilities for people when they see happiness. Gratitude. Presence. Acceptance.
As one example, my grandpa passed away last April. Grandpa was the glue and epicenter of our family. His spontaneous jokes, wide smile, and contagious laugh will always be missed by everyone who knew him.
He and my grandma had been married for nearly seventy years. The grief is still raw for her; she talks to him every day. But she chooses to keep living fully, saying, “I wake up every day, and I think to myself: Am I going to be happy today? Am I going to be sad? And I choose to be happy.”
It’s not that my grandma doesn’t miss my grandpa. Her bravery to choose happiness doesn’t dilute anyone else’s pain. Instead, it lives out the legacy of a joyous man and gives strength to his children and grandchildren. It opens the possibility that we can be happy. Simply put, her joy helps us.
Below are three thoughts I’ve returned to when faced with the question of day-to-day living: Will I choose joy? Will I share it with others?
I choose to…
1. Make the best out of this situation.
In college, my roommate came up with ideas for dance parties while she was studying for cellular biology. The idea was simple: study hard for something you don’t really want to be studying at all, and take a five-minute break to dance like an idiot to a 2000s pop song. Occasionally, the folks below you might yell through the vents. But the point is, you make the best of something you don’t want to do.
I’m forever thankful that my roommate taught me this and then demanded I join in. She taught me that whatever’s going on, we can make it fun. We can make a boring trip to Walmart fun by blasting music, we can make working out fun by making all our friends go with us at 7am, and we can make studying fun by sipping a new flavor of herbal tea with each biology chapter.
We can all apply this to our lives. Choose music that makes you happy while driving to run errands. Look at clouds and trees and other things that bring you joy. Make up stories. Even just stopping to tell yourself, “I will make the best out of this. I will make this fun for me,” will consciously remind you to make life fun for yourself.
I choose to…
2. Acknowledge and accept all emotions—feelings of anger, hurt, boredom, jealousy, not-good-enoughness, sadness, and loneliness.
Though I choose to see the good in everything, that doesn’t mean avoiding pain. I want to feel it so I can help others through it. I don’t want anyone to feel alone, and that starts with acknowledging that each of us has feelings we don’t want to feel. When we feel them, we get a little braver. It’s easier to ignore them. It’s a whole lot harder to acknowledge they’re there, and to accept them.
One simple thought to say to yourself, “I will be real with myself. I will be brave enough to feel this, so at the very least I can help someone else walk through this.”
I choose to…
3. Focus on everything that’s going right rather than what’s going wrong.
It’s easy to find problems with everything. One professor told me, “Everyone can find problems. You can be the one guy to find solutions.” And it’s true. Would you rather be a problem-finder or a solution-maker?
My default setting seems to be anxiety and problem-finding. I can find anything to be stressed about, anytime of the day, anywhere.
It takes more work for me to intentionally think about what’s going well. So, one strategy I like to use is the negative game (this especially works for me because I’m a great worrier).
What would it be like if my boyfriend left? I’m so glad to have a partner here day-in-and-day-out who loves me (and tells me that every day), who cooks well, and sincerely loves cats.
What would it be like if I didn’t have a job? I’m so glad I have the opportunity to work with students each day and to help them reach their goals.
What would it be like if my parents weren’t here? I’m so glad to have parents I can call every day and who truly care about me, who would fly across the country to see me, who listen attentively to every student-story I share.
Who wouldn’t relax a bit after playing this mind game? Choose to think about what you can do; what you do have. Even the basics are grounding: having nutritious food to eat, clean water to drink, a safe home to live in.
I did end up telling my coworkers that I enjoy this job after one of them shared they’re planning to leave after the next school year. I offered up a tentative, “I like this job. It works great for me right now.” No one threw rocks or kicked me out. They agreed it was great for someone just starting their career.
Don’t be afraid to share your joy, even if other people don’t share it. Who knows, you never know how you can help someone. Maybe my brief words helped my coworker find something positive in our workplace.
I leave you with one quote:
“Never dull your shine for someone else.”
Help other people see joy, and be brave enough to practice it.
About Anonymous
This author is an English teacher at a public university. After battling and surviving anorexia, she finds well-being through yoga and writing and encourages others to do the same. Words can heal.
Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.
The post How to Practice Joy and Bravery appeared first on Tiny Buddha.
This content was originally published here.
The post How to Practice Joy and Bravery appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
