Leslie Glass's Blog, page 244
September 1, 2019
Little Mental Health Boosters
In recovery, I’ve learned to apply my mental health boosters every day. I’m quick to squash negative thoughts, I almost never let myself wallow anymore, and when I’m blue, I have a list of small activities I can do that really help. These aren’t remedies for mental illness. These are more like anxiety relief and mood boosters for when you feel lackluster or irritable, restless and discontent sinking in.
Why you need these 5 mental health boosters
Today, there are so many amazing tools available to us from meditation apps to health apps that will tell us when we should go outside and take a walk. All we need to do is be willing to find them and give them a try. Sometimes it takes practice to make something stick, but from my experience, if you take ten minutes every day for 30 days and do any one of these things, you will see some improvement in your mood, or general health and well-being.
1. Get outside and into nature if you can
Even if you live in New York City, find a park or go to the closest river. Being outside in the fresh air can really help if you’re feeling stressed, or sad. Studies have proven that being in nature reduces anxiety as well. Maybe try walking to work, if that’s possible, or taking a walk on your lunch break. Add some music to the mix if that sparks your fancy.
2. Put down your technology
We’ve all heard about how technology is addictive and can cause depression and loneliness. Social media has created a FOMO monster in all of us at one time or another. Try putting down your phone and turning off your computer so you can focus on the people and things around you.
Ways To Keep Calm When Disaster Strikes
3. Try ten minutes of meditation
I was told to meditate for years before I made it a practice. Ten minutes a day turned into guided meditation classes. Today, I can’t go more than two weeks without a good soundbath. All the great leaders meditate, it does great things when done properly. Try it.
4. Any exercise ritual, including simply walking for 10-20 minutes.
Exercise helps raise endorphins. That’s a fact. I also know people who struggle with anxiety who exercise every morning because they believe the rhythmic breathing helps set them straight for the day. Whatever it is, when you want to get out of your head, get into your body!!
5. Self-care
Everybody’s talking about it for a reason. Whether you’re into mani-pedis and massages, or learning new things and growing your recovery, take time to do the things you love, and that makes you happy. As you stay in recovery, self-care may change and turn into financial accountability or becoming a Vegetarian. Whatever works for your mental health.
The post Little Mental Health Boosters appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
What Kind of Non-Alcoholic Drink Are You?
Looking for a little break? Perhaps a short quiz and a mocktail recipe? What non-alcoholic drink are you based on these five questions?
1
When you get home from a tough day at school or work, you
Surf Pinterest for some sweet ideas for new home decor
Drop off your work bags and go out with friends
Change into workout gear and get jogging/off to the gym
Change into sweats and curl up with tea and a good book
2
If you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, how do you get yourself into a more positive state of mind
Make a list of everything you GET to do
Have a conversation with your pet/ roommate/ significant other
Do a short yoga session to calm yourself and get the blood pumping
Meditate and find your peace to get through the day
3
What's your favorite season
Autumn
Spring
Summer
Winter
4
What's your favorite article of clothing
Sweatshirt/ sweatpants/ fuzzy boots
Flowy dress (midi/maxi) or a floral button-down and Crocs
Jeans/ shorts/ flats
Sweaters/ black jeans/ fuzzy slippers/ scarves
5
Your go-to, special snack is
S'mores
Cake
Cupcakes
Funnel Cake
What Kind of Non-Alcoholic Drink Are You?
Created on 01 Sep 2019
Quiz result
Ginger Beer
You’re pretty easy-going and when it comes to life, you like to be comfortable. If you have to choose between jeans or sweats to wear around the house, you’ll always go for sweats—even if you have to run to the grocery store. “Cozy” is your middle name.
Check out this recipe for homemade ginger beer!
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Quiz result
Citrus Peach Cooler
You’ve got great energy and love being with people. But when you’re enjoying your alone time, you love to keep the room light and airy. When you go out, you thrive in the warm sun and brisk breeze that spring brings. You’re laid back but know how to dress for comfort and style.
Here's a fun recipe for a Citrus Peach Cooler!
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Quiz result
Pomegranate Mojito Mocktail
You love to workout outside. Jogging, walking, yoga on your lawn—you name it. The sun gives you that extra boost and you relish the warmth and light. When things get tough, you break out the yoga mat and channel your energy through a good session. When it comes time to go out with friends, you have a bright, vibrant aesthetic to reflect your personality.
Here's a recipe for a Pomegranate Mojito Mocktail!
Share Your Result
Quiz result
Mulled Apple Juice
Not much sounds better than a nice evening in front of the fireplace with a good book and fuzzy blanket. You like the little things in life and when you do go out, you love to wander around during the chilly, crisp months, all bundle up with a thick scarf and fluffy boots.
Check out this Mulled Apple Juice recipe!
Share Your Result
The post What Kind of Non-Alcoholic Drink Are You? appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Codependency Beyond Enabling
We hear and read so much about codependency and enabling that it can become confusing for there are many definitions and beliefs regarding this condition.
Melody Bettie, author of Codependent No More defines codependency like this:
âA codependent person is one who has let another personâs behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that personâs behaviorâ
With this definition, we see that our power is given away to the other person who has an addiction or other dysfunctional condition and we become dysfunctional ourselves. While our initial goal was to help the loved one, instead we become controlling, angry, frustrated, sad, berating, reactive, and destructive. When care and compassion become problematic, then we are looking at codependency.
“Codependents appear to be depended upon, but they are dependent. They look strong but feel helpless. They appear controlling but in reality are controlled themselves, sometimes by an illness such as alcoholism.â
Enabling is a part of codependency. Enabling is when we help someone stay in their addiction. For example, if our partner gets angry when he finds himself out of beer, we go to the store and buy it for him in order to keep peace in the family. Likewise, if a parent is a compulsive eater and morbidly obese, we may drive to a fast-food restaurant to load up on unhealthy food for her in order to be left alone instead of constantly being berated for not helping the parent when she feels she needs food.
Common Symptoms of Codependency and Enabling
Excessive care taking: Doing things for loved one they can do themselves. Doing too much
Low self-worth: Feeling bad about yourself. This can also occur when loved one doesn’t appreciate what is being done and always wants more
Repression of feelings: This is also called stuffing, when feelings are so intense and painful but are not expressed to loved ones or anyone else.
Obsession: focusing inappropriately on other issues
Controlling: try to control other people and situations
Denial: ignoring or pretending problems donât exist
Dependency: struggle with healthy relationships
Poor communication: struggle to discuss issues in a healthy manner, blaming others, feeling
Anger and blaming others
Weak Boundaries : unable to set or follow up with âno means noâ and âyes means yesâ
Lack of trust: no trust in self, others, or a Higher Power
Intimacy Issues: issues surrounding sex and love
Difficulty having fun and enjoying life
Struggles with responsibility
Difficulty with compassion unable to respond in a healthy, caring manner
The Roller Coaster Of Emotions Associated With Codependency Enabling
Codependency brings a rollercoaster of emotions, reactions and behaviors that can make you feel like you’re crazy. You may experience one or many of the following on an ongoing basis.
Guilt
Shame
Sadness
Loneliness
Happiness/peaceful-ness
Pain
Hopeless/helpless
Excitement/depression
Anxiety
Suicidal thoughts
Self-defeating or self-destructive behaviors
If You Have Many Of These Symptoms
Codependency is extremely complicated. It often involves destructive conditioning both from childhood which leads to more destructive conditioning in adult relationships, and which in turn play forward into unhealthy relationships with children.
If you have two of these symptoms, it doesn’t mean you’re codependent, but if a number of symptoms and feelings are present in your life, it reveals that you probably have some level of codependency. However, this is not a blame game. It’s a something that can be treated and you can recover. Please remember that most codependents start their process with wanting to care take others, and their actions are motivated by compassion.
It is only when such compassion and care taking become overwhelming and problematic that we see that it has grown into a negative pattern. Negative patterns can be reversed, and you can recover.
Try Codependency Anonymous meetings or Al-Anon meetings, talk to friends and family, or see a therapist. And finally, continue to explore this site for further information regarding addictions and codependency. The more you know the easier it will be to respond in a healthy manner to whatever situation faces you.
The post Codependency Beyond Enabling appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
‘Meth-gators’: Tennessee police warn flushing drugs could create hyper-aggressive alligators
A police department in Loretto, Tennessee, is asking residents to refrain from flushing drugs, such as methamphetamine, down the toilet to prevent “meth-gators.”
In the Facebook post, the Loretto Police Department wrote that on Saturday, officers executed a search warrant on a home and discovered the occupant trying to flush meth and drug paraphernalia down his toilet.
Although the suspect was unsuccessful, the officers used the incident to remind residents of the harm drugs can cause to the environment.
“Folks … please don’t flush your drugs m’kay … our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth,” the post read. “Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do.”
The post warns that meth could make its way into Shoal Creek, down the Tennessee River in North Alabama and into the bodies of alligators.
“Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama,” police wrote. “They’ve had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help. So, if you need to dispose of your drugs just give us a call and we will make sure they are disposed of in the proper way.”
But Kent Vliet, an alligator biologist and the coordinator of laboratories in the department of biology at the University of Florida, said he has never once heard of an alligator on meth.
“I’ve worked with alligators for 40 years, and I generally can answer any question someone gives me about them. This one’s throwing me for a loop,” Vliet told NBC News.
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Vliet, who is not a veterinarian, said in a study he participated in, in which gators were dosed with antibiotics, the animals had to be injected with the medication, rather than orally fed the drug, to see a sustained effect.
“I would guess they might be affected by it, but they tend to not react to drugs in the same way we do, and I don’t know if it would take a little or a lot to get an alligator to do something on meth,” Vliet said. “I think it’s a ridiculous notion. If you flush meth its going to be diluted.”
Vliet added that people who are not familiar with gators tend to over-exaggerate their dangers, adding that the reptile does not seek out humans to harm or eat.
The Facebook post’s mention of “methed up animals” in Alabama may have been a reference to a caged “attack squirrel” who was believed to have been given methamphetamine to keep it aggressive.
The alleged methed-up “attack squirrel” was discovered during the execution of a search warrant on a suspect believed to possess controlled substances.
However, officials in the area said there was no safe way to test the squirrel for meth.
This content was originally published here.
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6 Ways To Overcome Sober Weight Gain
When I got sober the last thing I expected was gaining a load of weight and insatiable food cravings. If that was advertised as a side effect of sobriety, some of us may not sign up. But the reality is that sober weight gain and hunger for certain foods are very common in recovery. For some, these issues resolve themselves after a few months. For others, it reveals deeper issuesâsuch as eating disorders. Iâm here to tell you that these physical changes neednât make you feel hopeless and depressedâthere are some really easy ways to tackle these changes so that you feel empowered and gain more energy to sustain your recovery.
The Ugly Truth About Sober Weight Gain
When I first got sober, I couldnât stop eating. Cake, pastries, bread, cheese, candy became my obsession. Iâd sit in meetings obsessing about what I would eat when I get home. I binged like this for the first two years in recovery. I felt bloatedâI was 150 poundsâ overweightâexhausted all the time, and chronically depressed. I kept trying to stop, only to find myself at the end of a packet of cookies within a few days. Much like substance use disorder, I couldnât understand why I kept repeating this pattern of behavior: eating against my will. I felt utterly hopeless and I hated my body.
Dopamine’s The Real Villain Here
What I didnât realize until a few years later, is that my brain was transferring my addiction from drugs and alcohol to foodâbecause it produced exactly the same effect in my brain: the release of dopamine (one of the bodyâs feel good chemicals).
Whatâs more, the addictive brain is sophisticated enough to override rational thought in pursuit of dopamine. I realized that I neednât feel so much shame because a lot of what was happening was beyond my control.
Understanding this information, helped me to retrain my brain, lose 60 pounds, and override that process in my brain. Thatâs rightâthe brain is plastic enough to change. How amazing is that?!
I Took These Steps To Combat My Sober Weight Gain
1. I Quit Buying Packaged Food
If it wasnât a whole foodâi.e. from the ground, or from a fish/animalâI didnât eat it. By not eating processed foods, I gained some control of my eating habits because whole foods donât overpower your rational brainâso I ate what I intended to. Also, they provided more sustained energy and I didnât have terrible mood swings.
2. I Sought Natural Feel Good ChemicalsâEndorphinsâThrough Regular Exercise
Even a ten minute walk helped. Before long, I was cycling everywhere and going to the gym regularly. I felt mentally and physically miles better; I slept better and my mood was more stable. Also, feeling energized led to better food choices.
3. I Connected With People In Recovery
I sought regular connection with other people in recovery at meetings, coffee with female friends, and events and workshops. Did you know that hugging releases oxytocinâwhich also makes us feel good, lowers our blood pressure, decreases stress, and makes us feel warm and fuzzyâkind of what we seek in cake and booze!
4. I Joined A Support Group
I had to treat my new addiction the same way I treated my first one. I joined a support group for women who struggle with food issues. I have one of my own now, which you can join here. Empathy and knowing youâre not alone is a really powerful way to overcome emotional eating and give you inspiration and motivation to stay healthy. It also provides support and compassion for when you are really hard on yourself.
5. I Began Meditating Every Day For Ten Minutes
This allowed me to check in with my body and see what I was hungry for. Sometimes is wasnât actually food; I was either thirsty, or needed relaxation and time out because I felt stressed. I used Headspace for guided meditations, but there are many other apps available.
6. I Found Restorative Activities Like Yin, Kundalini Or Restorative Yoga
These provided a much-needed outlet for stress, relaxed my whole body, and promoted a feeling of calm and overall wellness.
The key with any change is to start small and build up changes slowly. Perhaps you could start with exercise and practice that for a couple of weeks before changing your diet. Slow and consistent changes build sustainable results and overall change. By focusing on you and what you really need, the sober weight gain will begin to melt away.
Want to find some professional help? Recovery Guidance lists support groups and specialist who can help overcome addictions and food disorders.
The post 6 Ways To Overcome Sober Weight Gain appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
8 Essential Steps To Addiction Recovery
Is there path to addiction recovery that should be followed? What steps have to be taken, and how long before recovery works? Is just stopping use enough? How about life after rehab or detox, or even sober living? Addiction, now called Substance or Alcohol Use Disorder is confusing. Here’s some of what we know.
30 years of research shows there are many paths to recovery, as cited in the Surgeon General’s 2016 Report on Addiction. But there are some essential steps that can’t be skipped.
The Hunt is On For Protocols That Work
It is a fact that substance and alcohol use alter brain function. No one wants to become a different person, but substance and alcohol use do just that. Addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease of brain reward. When using, people do things they never would have done had they not become addicted.
Addiction recovery means old habits need changing
When using stops, however, the negative patterns of behavior do not automatically reverse. People retain the behaviors they learned as substance users, and untreated those behaviors will remain throughout life. This can be confusing for people who long for a quick fix and believe rehab, sober living, or outpatient treatment can reverse the substance user’s survival patterns that no longer work for them. The fact that people don’t automatically return to their previous selves also poses a perplexing problem for researchers. What are the proven treatments that will end both substance use and the behaviors that accompany it? There aren’t any. Recovery is a process.
Necessary Process For Addiction Remission, Thought, and Behavior Change
Stopping useHealing the brainLearning the language of recoveryFollowing a recovery programCreating new habits in a drug-free lifestyle Establishing healthy relationshipsBecoming accountable and honestManaging money and timeWorking at a paying job to restore reliability and trust
8 Steps To Addiction Recovery
Detox in a safe environment.Assessment of substance and alcohol users to determine long term treatment needs. This could be a therapist, physician, psychiatrist addiction specialist, or a combination of providers.Make a treatment plan. After evaluation, a treatment plan should be developed to reflect the length of time it actually takes to learn reliability accountability and life skills. A treatment plan might include being in patient at a rehab, followed by intensive out patient treatment while living in a sober residence. It might include detox, followed by intensive out-patient treatment for six months or longer, followed by weekly therapy and other sessions. It might several years in sober living communities with group and other therapies. Create reasonable goals and expectations.Healing the brain takes several years, so don’t think short term treatment will solve the problem. All treatment programs should include some kind of 12 step group (whether NA, AA, Smart Recovery, Celebrate Recovery, Al Anon, or other group that teaches the language of recovery. Groups don’t not just help people to stop using, they also serve as a guide to behavior and attitude change.Sober living usually has a work requirement so getting and keeping a stress free job is essential.When trust and accountability have been established, work is in place, and healthy relationships are in effect, those in recovery still need ongoing support through the rest of their lives. While treatment may end, and the disease is in remission, it still requires lifelong management.
To learn more about each phase of recovery, use the fly-away menu (often called hamburger) to explore the recovery topics and categories in ROR.
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Change Your Mood Habits
Have you noticed that you have mood habits? When you wake up, you have certain feelings that may repeat themselves through the day? Youâre happy and serene. Youâre agitated from the get-go. Youâre immediately reminded of something that makes you sad and the sad feelings keep returning. You’re crazed by politics and everything that’s going wrong in the world. There’s plenty to worry about.
Oh, and there’s more. You always have a list of things in your head that you feel you have to do and stay focused on  until the list of tasks is completed. Youâre listless and canât get moving, and that feeling stays with you all day. Your mood habits tell a lot about you. In fact, you mood habits can make you a success or…not so much. Are you paying attention. You do have control over this. You just don’t know it.
Mood Habits Are Like Muscle Memory
It may seem hard to believe that, like athletes create muscle memory that makes them excel, all of us have emotional memory we have cultivated that helps or hinders us every day. In fact, our feelings about ourselves, our situation, and other people are often ingrained habits weâve learned over time. We repeat the feelings every day because we are used to them. Even if they make us miserable.
Mood Habits Makes Us Feel Bad, Sad, Useless
No one wants to wake up feeling mad, sad, bad, useless, scared, defeated. But those feelings are our excuses. Where do those feelings come from and do we have to keep them? The feelings come from our experiences as children, as teens, young adults, and the way other people have treated us in many situations. If your parent has told you youâre no good, youâre not going to grow up feeling good. Or if you experienced problems with math or sports or relationships, you may decide youâre really and truly no good. Then you may be stuck in those feelings until something changes it.
Donât Beat Yourself Or Loved Ones Up
Bi Polar disorder, clinical depression, substance use, food disorders and other mental health problems, however, are not bad habits that can be changed by positive thinking. Treatment is necessary. Get a mental health check up and get help if you need it. And don’t be mad at yourself because your brain doesn’t always do what you want it to do. For 2018 getting help to change your mood habits could change your whole life.
Feelings Are Not Reality So They Aren’t Always Your Best Guide
We often hear in recovery that feelings are not reality. Resentments, rage, disappointments, unhappiness and discontent are all feelings that you have to nurture to sustain. You have to work at unhappiness to be unhappy. If you stop nurturing and feeding negative feelings, they can go away, or at least lessen. Truly. And that is a great goal. But it takes practice and you really have to want it. If you want to feel better and lift your mood, the best thing to do is to substitute a whole different palette of feelings. Think of it like changing your thought diet.
Wake Up With A List Of Things That Make You Feel Good or Happy
There may be many reasons for feeling unhappy or low, or resentful, or defeated or sad. There are just as many reasons to be happy, contented, and grateful no matter what your situation. If you start listing and repeating to yourself what makes you happy, what youâre grateful about, you can lose the negativity over time. You can feel better in 2018 than you did in 2017.
Try happy thinking and happy talking, and maybe your dreams will come true.
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August 31, 2019
Adrenal Fatigue: What Is It And How Do We Cope
Three weeks ago I sat in the chair of my therapists office crying about my recent diagnosis of stage three adrenal fatigue. I wasnât surprised. I spent the last year transitioning to life in a new country and starting a business. My body just wouldnât do what I knew it was capable of, so I expected my therapist’s orders to slow down. I didnât expect to learn that adrenal fatigue is closely linked to substance use disorder.
What Is Adrenal Fatigue?
Located just above your kidneys, your adrenal glands are responsible for critical functions in your body. They produce various hormones which are responsible for different bodily functions, including:
Balancing blood sugar
Overseeing immune functions
Managing your fight or flight response.
In particular, the adrenal glands produce a hormone called cortisol, that is responsible for helping the body deal with stress.
When the adrenals are overwhelmed, it can cause chronic fatigue, blood sugar instability, a reduced ability to deal with stress, lowered immunity, and intense cravings for sugar and caffeine. When the body is under continued and extreme stress, the levels of cortisol rise too high. Your adrenal glands are then too taxed to continue to produce enough cortisol. This results in adrenal fatigue, which can fall into these three stages:
Stage 1 Adrenal Fatigue: Stimulation – Your body responds to a stress event by producing more epinephrine, adrenaline and cortisol. You’re likely to not be very hungry. You canât sleep well. Your mind is racing and your body is tense. You might feel excited or anxious.
Stage 2 Adrenal Fatigue: Depletion – People will have periods of higher anxiety alternating with periods of fatigue. Energy levels and moods will be very inconsistent so cravings for caffeine and sugar will be intense.
Stage 3 Adrenal Fatigue: Burnout – Stage 3 is when the adrenals are out of fuel. Adrenaline, Cortisol, and DHEA levels will all be low. Most people in this stage will feel fatigued most of the day and will have a generally flat affect. Everything feels hard. Coffee and sugar may still produce a little energy, but not as much as they once did.
What Causes Adrenal Fatigue?
Think of your adrenals as your body’s stress command central. Any one of these major life events can send your body into a long-term stress battle:
Problems in the workplace like a demanding boss, long work hours, or even uncooperative colleagues
Financial difficulties
Exposure to pollution
Problematic family situations
Inadequate sleep
Overeating
Substance abuse
Infections
Long illnesses
Major surgery
Adrenal Fatigue Warning Signs
What’s the difference between normal life stresses and adrenal fatigue? Here are seven warning signs:
You’re tired even without having indulged in vigorous activities.
You sleep 7-8 hours a night, but you wake up exhausted.
You feel exhausted and weighed down by your responsibilities.
Recovery from an illness or a stressful situation takes longer than it should.
You’re snacking on something sweet or salty without being really hungry.
You seem to “wake up” after 6:00 pm and feel like the day has just begun.
You canât seem to digest certain foods although you have never had food allergies before.
The Addiction – Adrenal Fatigue Cycle
According to adrenal fatigue experts, this condition often precedes substance abuse, creating the right physiological conditions that addiction can thrive inâwhether that is food, alcohol, drugs, or nicotine. These conditions exacerbate cravings which can cause the adrenal glands to become fatigued by the overuse of these substances.
Using sugar and caffeine to cope with adrenal fatigue is a recipe for disaster. I know all too well how these cravings are overwhelming but I also know that using those substances will only further stress my adrenals, cause spikes and crashes to my blood sugar, leaving me more tired than beforeânot to mention irritable, unable to think straight, mood swings, and feeling shaky.
How To Cope With Adrenal Fatigue
While adrenal fatigue, particularly stage 3, can be debilitating, it is treatable. Because I’m a writer with an inquisitive brain, I set out to learn as much as I could. I also wanted to heal myself as naturally as possible. Lucky for me, I live in the mecca of alternative and natural healing medicine, Portland.
The best way to help your adrenals recover is through diet and lifestyle changes. Primarily:
Ditch caffeine (tea, coffee, and other highly caffeinated fizzy drinks). Switch to herbal teas, naturally flavored water. If you have to keep coffee, make sure it is properly decaffeinated. Some decaffeinated coffee, unless cold-filtered, contains chemicals used to extract the caffeine and still has trace amounts of caffeine.
Reduce salt and cut out sugar.
Make sure you drink enough water throughout the day.
Eat a well-balanced diet that contains fresh whole foods, and restricts processed foods that are high in salt and sugar.
Try taking an adaptogenic herb which can help combat stress in the body and support your adrenals. I have included medicinal mushrooms, ashwagandha and maca into my diet and I take an adrenal supplement, Adaptocrine.
Reduce stress levels: take regular breaks from work, turn off electronic devices a couple of hours before bedtime, take baths, try restorative yoga, meditate, go to therapy, and attend your regular support groups.
Slow down. That means not taking on more than you can handle, reducing commitments on your time, limiting contact with friends who have a lot of drama, and making sure you have lots of restâincluding 8-10 hours sleep a night.
Adrenal fatigue should be diagnosed by a doctor, especially as fatigue can be a symptom of other underlying illnesses, infections, or psychological disorders. Visit Recovery Guidance to find help near you.
The post Adrenal Fatigue: What Is It And How Do We Cope appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
When you feel like life is too tough to handle, remember these 10 things
Sometimes life is unfair, and it is hard to manage. Sometimes life is amazing and wonderful, and it is celebrated.
There is no shortage of either side of the coin for most people, but for many people who live in a constant state of worry or find themselves overwhelmed by what life brings their way, it can be hard to manage.
Getting out of bed in the morning can feel like a real struggle for some people; many people don’t win that struggle and suffer alone for a long time.
I’ve been there myself and It’s never easy to go through.
So if you ever find yourself wanting to curl up and hide in your blankets, remember that this situation will pass and that there are ways to help yourself cope with what is going on in your life.
When life sucks too much, here are 10 things to remember that have helped me in the past and I hope they can help you.
1) Trust the Experience
Whether you like it or not, this situation is happening for you. It’s not meant to drag you through the mud, and it’s meant to help you stand tall and learn something about yourself.
According to Rubin Khoddam PhD, “Nobody is immune to life’s stressors, but the question is whether you see those stressors as moments of opposition or moments of opportunity.”
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but once you get on board with the fact that challenges can also bring about an opportunity, the road forward has more hope.
2) Accept the Facts
Rather than worry about what is coming or surmise about what happened, consider the bare minimum and work with what you have.
Don’t add any unnecessary complications to an already messy situation.
There’s no point in feeling bad about feeling bad, says Kathleen Dahlen, a psychotherapist based in San Francisco.
She says accepting negative feelings is an important habit called “emotional fluency,” which means experiencing your emotions “without judgment or attachment.”
This allows you to learn from difficult situations and emotions, use them or move on from them more easily.
3) Start Where You Are
When things start to slide downhill, start where you are and dig in. Don’t wait until you have a better job or car or more money in the bank.
According to Lisa Firestone Ph.D. in Psychology Today, “many of us are more self-denying than we realize.”
Most of us believe that doing activities that “light us up is seflish or irresponsible.”
According to Firestone, this “critical inner voice is actually triggered when we take steps forward” that reminds us to “stay in our place and not to venture out of our comfort zone.”
We need to let go of this critical inner voice and realize that we can get ourselves out of challenging situations through action.
Make a point to start working your way out of the situation now.
4) Lean on Your Support System
Many people retreat to their dark reaches of their lives when things go sideways, but studies have shown that leaning on our friends and family makes it easier to cope with life.
According to Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. in Psychology Today, “Relationships can buffer us from the negative effects of these events by providing comfort, reassurance, or acceptance, or protecting us from some of the negative forces of the stressor.”
So rather than hide away, reach out to a friend or someone who can listen while you work through your problems.
5) Count Your Blessings
Instead of focusing on everything that has gone wrong, start focusing on what has gone right.
Or, at the very least, what else has not gone wrong. If you look for hope in an otherwise hopeless situation, you might just find it.
The Harvard Health Blog says that “gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.”
“Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”
6) Stay Present
It is all too easy to crack open a bottle of wine and drown your sorrows until you reach the bottom, and that is the only outlet many people have.
If you can resist the urge to avoid your problems and start by acknowledging them, you can start to overcome them.
APA (American Psychological Association) defines mindfulness “as a moment-to-moment awareness of one’s experience without judgment”.
Studies have suggested that mindfulness may help reduce rumination, reduce stress, boost working memory, improve focus, improve emotional reactivity, improve cognitive flexibility and enhance relationship satisfaction.
[Not only does Buddhism provide a spiritual outlet for many people, but it can also improve your health and wellbeing. Check out my new no-nonsense guide to using Buddhism for a better life here].
7) Laugh
Sometimes life is so crazy you just have to laugh. Seriously, have you ever sat back and thought about all the wild things that have happened?
Even if you are in a serious, sad moment, there is laughter to be had: laugh at the confusion of it all. There’s a lesson in everything we do.
Author Bernard Saper suggests in a paper for Psychiatric Quarterly that being able to have a sense of humor and an ability to laugh can help a person cope through difficult times.
8) Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
While most people will think it is helpful to tell you how they handled a similar situation, smile and accept their advice with a grain of salt.
No one can tell you how to handle an event or situation in your life except you.
So don’t get caught up in the fact that Mary found another job in only a week when you’ve been unemployed for six months. You are not Mary.
And holding grudges against others does nothing for yourself. In fact, letting go of grudges and seeing the best people has been linked to less psychological stress and a longer life.
9) Be Thankful for Unanswered Prayers
Even when it seems like we need something so badly or want something so badly that it seems unfair that we didn’t get it, take time to consider what it means.
Maybe you didn’t get that job because you are destined for better things? Maybe you weren’t supposed to move to New York because you were meant to meet the man of your dreams right where you are now.
There are several sides to every story, and when you start to explore them, things don’t seem quite so bad.
And there’s no point feeling bad about it. According to Karen Lawson, MD, “negative attitudes and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness can create chronic stress, which upsets the body’s hormone balance, depletes the brain chemicals required for happiness, and damages the immune system.”
See the good in every situation. As Steve Jobs says, eventually you’ll connect the dots.
10) The Path is Winding
Sometimes, the train doesn’t stop at the right station the first time or the hundredth time. Sometimes, you need to get back on that train over and over again until it finally brings you where you want to go.
Other times, you need to take matters into your own hands and rent a car, so you can drive yourself, rather than waiting for the help of the train.
Steven Covey identified in 1989 that proactivity is an important character trait of highly effective people:
“People who end up with the good jobs are the proactive ones who are solutions to problems, not problems themselves, who seize the initiative to do whatever is necessary, consistent with correct principles, to get the job done.” – Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Remember that it doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get where you are going, enjoy the journey and learn from every moment of it. Everything happens for a reason.
[Resilience and mental toughness are key attributes to living your best life. To learn how to build your mental toughness, check out my eBook on the Art of Resilience here]
New eBook: The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment
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Hack Spirit’s eBook, The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment, is the perfect introduction to mindfulness.
Learn what ‘mindfulness’ really is, the scientific benefits to practicing it daily, and proven techniques to be be mindful throughout the day.
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This content was originally published here.
The post When you feel like life is too tough to handle, remember these 10 things appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Prizes for sobriety: As Washington meth use rises, this treatment is one of few that works
When Michael McDonell was a mental-health clinician at Seattle Children’s hospital, he decided to experiment on himself.
He’d gained 50 pounds in grad school and struggled to lose them since. He’d read about something called “contingency management” — the idea that it’s easier to establish a habit or change a behavior with a reward than a punishment.
The plan: He’d get a dollar for every day he ran. If he got to 365, he could spend it on whatever he wanted, but if he missed even one day, his wife would get to keep it all.
He made it to the end of that year, and 10 years later, he’s only missed one day of running. He’s run seven marathons and one ultramarathon, and today as a WSU addiction-treatment researcher, he spends most of his time studying and advocating for contingency management as a way to fight addiction.
As a new wave of methamphetamine crashes over Washington, bigger than it’s been for decades, public health officials have struggled to spread an intervention for meth addiction that’s as effective as medication-assisted treatment has been for people using opioids.
The Seattle Times’ Project Homeless is funded by BECU, The Bernier McCaw Foundation, The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, Campion Foundation, the Paul G. Allen Family Foundation, Raikes Foundation, Schultz Family Foundation, Seattle Foundation, Seattle Mariners, Starbucks and the University of Washington. The Seattle Times maintains editorial control over Project Homeless content.
Contingency management, researchers like McDonell say, is that thing: It works, patients like it, and it’s cost-effective. Literature reviews and analyses often agree: A review of 69 reports released from 2009 to 2014 found “high levels of treatment efficacy” in contingency-management treatment. On average, it increased a patient’s odds of reaching abstinence by 117%.
Here’s how the treatment works: You come in a few times a week, complete a urine test, and if it’s negative, you draw for a prize — at a trial McDonell is running in Wallingford, there are “small” prizes like shampoo or a toothbrush, “big” prizes like a coffeemaker, or rare “jumbo” prizes like a DVD player. The longer you’re sober, the more draws you get, but if the test comes back positive, the clinician says “see you next time.”
It might sound infantilizing, but decades’ worth of research has shown that it works.
“It’s like being a kid at a carnival,” said one participant in a 2018 Seattle study McDonell co-authored.
When the Department of Veterans Affairs expanded patients’ access to this treatment in 2011, at the Seattle VA 87% percent of all urine screens came back negative for meth, cocaine or other targeted substances; and of the 119 patients who have started treatment since 2012, more than half completed all 12 weeks.
“If (contingency management) were a drug, it would have been approved decades ago,” said Dr. Sterling McPherson, one of McDonell’s colleagues at WSU.
It’s cheap — the average cost at the local VA was less than $100 per patient — and since all it needs is someone to take a urine test and give out a prize, you don’t need a licensed provider or clinical staff to do it.
But because it’s not a traditional way of treating addiction, it’s harder to pay for than talk therapy or medication. Medicaid, the nation’s largest source of drug treatment, won’t cover it, and it’s unclear how health-care providers would bill for the prizes, according to Dr. Charissa Fotinos, deputy chief medical officer with Washington’s Health Care Authority, which manages the state’s Medicaid program.
The state is exploring whether federal grants could pay for this treatment. But right now, in Washington, the treatment is not widely available for people struggling with any kind of addiction.
“With meth, nothing seems to work — except this,” McDonell said. “It’s just a sin that we’re not doing it.”
“Rational human beings”
The prizes-for-sobriety model is based on an idea that is counterintuitive to how Americans often think about drug use: That people addicted to a drug still can make rational decisions, if they’re given an alternative.
A study in the 1990s offered habitual users a dose of crack cocaine or $5 when the experiment ended in a few weeks. The less crack the person had smoked that day, the more likely they were to say yes to the $5.
That study led many researchers, like McDonell, to see drug addiction as a product of someone’s environment and the options available to them, rather than a mindless attraction to the substance itself.
“Drug users are rational human beings,” McDonell said.
But contingency management, while not exactly radical, makes some uncomfortable. When the Seattle VA Addiction Treatment Center started providing it in 2012, Hang Ruan, the center’s program manager, was entirely behind it.
Ruan sat down with 500 Post-It notes, and on half he wrote “good job,” “way to go,” and when he ran out of ideas, even “cowabunga!” On the others, he wrote “$1,” “$20,” even “$100” — all redeemable at the VA store. The more weeks a patient was sober, the more times they got to reach into the fishbowl of slips.
But the staff had concerns: Was this essentially paying people not to do drugs? Was the slip-draw method basically gambling?
But once they saw it in action, according to Ruan, staff began referring people into the program. Patients would dance and sing when they won big prizes. One patient, undergoing treatment in an effort to be a better father, used his vouchers to buy an iPod for his daughter.
Since then, 72 patients have completed treatment — mostly for cocaine and meth use — and only eight patients have had to go back through the program because the first treatment wasn’t successful, according to the VA. Sixty-eight dropped out — an attrition rate similar or better to most studied treatment programs other than methadone (whose attrition rate is low).
Now, the biggest struggle the VA faces is that staff are usually completing it in addition to other duties, and they don’t have enough room or enough staff at the Addiction Treatment Center to expand further.
Proven but still not used
Today, McDonell still studies contingency management, refining and individualizing it. His current study for alcohol use, operating out of Community Psychiatric Clinic’s office in Seattle’s Wallingford neighborhood, looks at how people respond when you start simply by giving them prizes just for drinking less, and then moving on to abstinence, among other things.
The more intangible part of this treatment is the power of being held accountable by someone who cares. A 2018 Seattle study McDonell co-authored found that in addition to the prizes, people liked having something to work for and someone to cheer them on.
“The prizes I don’t care. It’s accountability,” said one participant. “You’ve been really patient with me,” another said to staff. “I’m gonna miss working with you.”
In these studies, between 40 and 60% of participants are homeless people, who often say they’re treated poorly at treatment centers or health-care facilities. They’re also eight times more likely than housed participants to drop out of the treatment, McDonell said.
Some programs have used the accountability aspect to simply encourage people to show up for treatment.
Evergreen Treatment Services, which provides methadone and buprenorphine to treat opioid addiction in King County, started offering rewards in 2012 at its Sodo clinic to get new patients — who often drop out in the first month — to make their first appointments. They get $5 gift cards to Subway or Fred Meyer for taking their medication every day and meeting with their counselors.
“At first when we started doing it I thought, ‘they’re not going to want to do that for just $5 or $20,’ but people feel challenged to do something,” said Sue Bailey, engagement specialist at the clinic.
Evergreen saw a 15% bump in attendance for counseling visits during its three-month trial period.
Years after he started studying contingency management, McDonell is still one of its cheerleaders. But as he continues to study it, his enthusiasm for the treatment is tempered by the fact that its use is limited.
“It’s frustrating to do studies like this over and over again and see how much it works — but not see it in practice,” McDonell said.
Scott Greenstone: 206-464-8545 or sgreenstone@seattletimes.com; on Twitter: @evergreenstone.
This content was originally published here.
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