Sam Jolman's Blog, page 3
November 5, 2024
No, This is Not Permission To Lust
As an author, I had no idea I could ever love a 2 star review. But then I got one that means the world to me; no sarcasm (or as the kids say, no cap). It’s the kind of review I think every author dreams of getting because it comes from a reader who actually took my book seriously and engaged the content in intellectual and personal ways, without open insult. Yes, as evidenced by the 2 stars, she took issue with what I said, especially the part about men experiencing awe at the sight of another ...
October 3, 2024
Zoom Conversation: How Men Objectify Themselves
Hey good people,
A fellow writer (Lore, I believe) said that somehow every time she writes a book, around the time of its release, life challenges her to live the message of the book. That was certainly my experience. In writing a book on healthy male sexuality, which is built on good embodiment, I had to address my own mistreatment of my body. Humble pi…
September 30, 2024
How Men Objectify Themselves
Right before she stabbed me in the back with another needle, Jane asked, “Weren’t you writing a book?”
“Yes,” I said, between gasps of pain on the exam table, “Good memory.”
Jane, my physical therapist, was literally poking and prodding (via dry needling) my seized up back muscles, trying to coax them to relax.
“The book comes out next week. Which is why I’m here. Somehow in writing a book I managed to ruin my back.”
It was true. No big dramatic trampoline flip or epic mountain bike jump preceded it...
August 27, 2024
Zoom Conversation: What Makes a Man Truly Virile?
Hey good people, it’s time to gather for another conversation. I’m sorry this conversation is so delayed. I didn’t plan to take a month off in July. Running Camp Jolman for my three boys through the last month of summer overtook my time in a way I did not see coming. Maybe it’s also we adopted a puppy in there too. But school is back in session and I’m …
July 25, 2024
What Makes a Man Truly Virile?
My friend Ben is another three-boy dad, just like me. A few years back, he took his family to Yellowstone as one does here in the West. They got the full experience, with old faithful and animal sightings galore. At one point as if on cue, a herd of buffalo grazed across the road in front of them—hundreds if not thousands in number with nothing to do but roam the open range. One male seemed especially committed to his prod, not moving his asphalt ground. All the cars passed timidly, lest they be...
June 24, 2024
Zoom Conversation: The Thing Missing In Our Purity
Hey supportive readers! What a joy to finally be inviting you to another Zoom conversation together. This one was a long time coming. Forgive me for my belatedness while I launched my book. Your support is a great gift to me. Let’s discuss my post from last month, The Thing Missing In Our Purity.
Thursday, June 27, 12 pm ET/ 10 am MT
I am sorry for the sh…
June 11, 2024
Your Sexuality Is Worth A Better Conversation
I walked into the Verizon wireless store, which is what one does when you’ve got a problem and customer support gets you nowhere. I just wanted to talk with a face-to-face human. Evan, a young twenty something behind the counter, stepped forward eager to help. And In the course of our conversation, as a good salesmen attempt to sell me a business line, he said, “Can I ask what you do for work?”
“I am a therapist and an author.” I said.
“Oh, so like you write books?” he said, while typing away.
“We...
May 26, 2024
The Thing Missing In Our Purity
“There is a way of beholding that is a form of prayer.” Diane Ackerman
My family used to live by a Saturday morning ritual that went something like this. After a lazy breakfast, my wife, my toddler son, and I all piled in the family Subaru to taxi my wife to her art class. My son and I carried on to find a new park to explore until it was time to reverse the process and pick my wife back up.
Once home again, my wife would ask, “Want to see my drawings?”
And there she’d stand patient with eager e...
May 8, 2024
April 23, 2024
On Men and Sex Jokes
I stood on the sideline of my son’s soccer game on a Saturday morning, as I do a lot with three boys. The familiar cadre of parents huddled together, chatting as we did, readying ourselves to cheer on our team of boys. I caught up with one of the men about all the stuff of dad life and work and his latest home repair. And right mid-conversation he cracked a sex joke about his wife. It really degraded her. And she was standing right next to him, right in the middle of the whole group of parents. ...
