Sam Jolman's Blog, page 2
June 25, 2025
How a Book Changes Us + Free Gift to You
Tom and his son Trevor set out last summer for an adventure West. This was a rather straight forward father son trip, the kind born of a shared thirst for the open road, the promise of mountains, a needed break from the Midwest heat, and just enough unknown to bond them together. Trevor had just graduated high school and this would be his last carefree wild goose chase with his dad before the big busy world awaited him.
To pass the 20-odd hours of asphalt staring, Tom hatched a plan to listen to ...
May 25, 2025
Zoom Conversation: Sexual Fantasy as Dream Work
Good people,
I hope this finds you well. I gotta say that my church-up-bringing-baptist-school-purity-culture self winced as I hit send on this month’s article. I was trained with the best of them to see almost all sexual feelings or thoughts as sinful and lustful. And so the idea of playing with sexual fantasy as artwork, as worthy of exploration and ev…
May 23, 2025
Sexual Fantasy as Dream Work
“Your fantasy life is the ultimate secret code. Your prevalent fantasies reveal your deepest needs because a good fantasy states the problem and offers the solution.” Esther Perel
“We all live in a story in search of an ending.” NT Wright
A couple nights ago I took a walk with two buddies by an apartment complex on the edge of town. The fog and the dark obscured our view, which put us all on edge. For awhile, no one said a word. We rounded the corner of a building and saw a couple of men coming do...
April 22, 2025
Zoom Conversation: To The Guy In The "I Love MILFs" T-Shirt At Home Depot
Good People,
I cut the time before we meet very short this month. From the meeting time survey, you all made clear that Mondays and Thursdays evenings work best. And I wanted to honor the Thursday night folks this month. And so we meet on this last Thursday in April! Come join us in two days.
Thursday, April 24, 6:30pm MT/8:30 pm ET
Writing is a goat rodeo…
April 21, 2025
To The Guy In The “I Love MILFs” T-shirt At Home Depot
“That which we don’t transform, we transmit.” Richard Rohr
Not so long ago on a Saturday, I walked ripped jeans and dirty T-shirt into a Home Depot for at least the fourth time that day. It was one of those house projects—the ones that make you question the meaning of life because they only get bigger the more you work on them. As I made my way through the door, I filed in behind a guy wearing a T-shirt announcing in big bold letters, “I love MILFs.” Huh, I wonder what sports team that is? I see...
March 25, 2025
Zoom Conversation: Ego Strokes
Friends, thank you for your patience in awaiting this post and this conversation. As so many have battled super viruses this winter, I took my turn with the flu in early March. But I am alive and kicking and look forward to talking again.
I will teach as usual for a short bit and then we’ll jump into conversation. Where do you notice ego driven sexualit…
March 22, 2025
Ego Strokes
“Narcissism is not fundamentally about self love, but about an escape from love.” Chuck DeGroat
Standing at the vending machine in our school’s cafeteria, my crumpled dollar finally accepted, I punched the code for Funyons and reached down to retrieve my delicious fake onion rings. I stood up and found myself face to face with a high schooler. My 8th grade frame froze.
“So did you get any?” he asked.
My mind spun into motion trying to make sense of his question. I took it this was not about the sna...
February 23, 2025
SCHEDULE CHANGE: Zoom Conversation
Good people, I am so sorry but I need to move our conversation meeting time. I completely forgot about an important family event we have Monday night. We are switching to:
Thursday, February 27, 6:30 MT/8:30 MT
The same link will work. But I’ve attached it below again. Please accept my apologies. And please keep filling out the survey on the best time for…
February 21, 2025
Zoom Conversation: Romance Is Dead. Long Live Romance.
Faithful Readers,
After I hit send on my post last Thursday, I jumped on a plane with my whole family and headed to Dallas, TX for a speaking gig. A church marriage ministry put on a Saturday Valentine’s coffee date and invited me to come cast a vision for healthy romance and sex. How cool is that!? I had an absolute blast.
When I speak, I read faces a lot
February 13, 2025
Romance is Dead. Long Live Romance
Here’s your calendar ding reminder that tomorrow is Valentine’s day—the day we collectively love to hate or at least ignore. Around this time each year, a dissenting chorus of voices rises up against the commercialization of love. Even if you celebrate and like this day, maybe you’ve felt this too. The sentiment goes like this: No one should tell me when I have to act romantic. No one should force me to buy flowers and chocolates and plan a date night. I can do that on my own. Love should not be...
