Kathi Lipp's Blog, page 118

Guest Blog from my friend Mary DeMuth, an excerpt from the “The Irresistible Table”

I recently read my dear friend’s, Mary DeMuth, book “The Irresistible Table” and thought that many of you would enjoy it as much as I did. While it’s filled with wonderful recipes, it’s also full of great wisdom. If you love what you read like I suspect you will, jam over to her blog to find out more about Mary. Or check out the links below to get yourself a copy. And let me know what you think in the comments below.

You can Have an Irresistible Table

By Mary DeMuth

I’ve been cooking all my life. When friends ask me how I learned, I tell them the story of living essentially alone as a seventh and eighth grader. My mom attended school late, and my stepfather worked the swing shift, leaving this only child to fend for herself for dinner. I grew tired of mac and cheese and Ramen noodles. So I grabbed the red checkered Better Homes and Gardens cookbook and started working my way through it.

The first thing I cooked for company was an entire turkey dinner, finished with an apple pie. I was fourteen years old. I experienced the rush that came in making people around my table happy and content. Cooking hooked me.

As an author of novels and Christian living titles, I’m not known in the publishing world for my secret chef skills, but I’ve done my best to invite the world to my table. Oddly, my writing career started way back in the 90s when I self-published a newsletter called “The Giving Home Journal,” wherein I shared tips for running a home. Had there been blogs back then in the days of yore, I’d have been a mommy blogger. At the end of each issue, I’d feature an original recipe or two, and by the time I finished publishing the newsletter, I ended it by gathering the recipes into my very first book: a cookbook.

Since then, I’ve moved eight or so times, always cooking, always inviting, but I left any future cookbook ideas on the shelf. I had the privilege of winning an Olive Garden lasagna contest (we got free fresh pasta for a year—I still can’t eat the stuff to this day) and had a recipe featured in Bon Appetit. We relocated to Southern France in the mid 2000s where, I kid you not, a French man went crazy-happy over my bread—probably the most supreme compliment a home cook could receive! That’s when I knew I’d mastered breadmaking. (Don’t think me a prodigy. My first loaves could brick a house).

In France, our home was constantly open, and every week I fed thirty or so people at one time. I learned the art of teeny-tiny kitchen cooking, and I became more laid back in the way I welcomed people. Laughter and conversation took precedent over a “perfect” meal. Creating an irresistible table meant welcoming people, providing nutritious and yummy food, and being peaceful in the process.

We’re stateside now, but we still eat dinner together every. single. night. Cooking is my creative outlet, the gift I give my friends and family daily, weekly, monthly. The recipes featured in The Irresistible Table are 100% me-created, tested on finicky eaters, and often consist of whole foods. I am a firm believer that anyone can cook from scratch—yes, even bread—if taught. I come alongside you, happy advice in tow, and help you create the irresistible table you’ve longed for. I believe you can have your own version of an irresistible table.

Besides that, cooking is part of my evil (ha!) plan to keep my children near as they fly the coop. My college-aged daughter comes home to eat, eat, eat, and she’s becoming a twenty-something chef, herself. The cycle continues. It’s my hope that the joy of hospitality, great food, and changed lives can continue with you.

Get The Irresistible Table in paperback for $13.97  or Kindle for $9.97.



Check out Mary’s blog, where you can sign up for a giveaway and check out her cool incentives.

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Bio: Mary DeMuth is the author of over twenty books and speaks about living an uncaged, freedom-infused life. Her biggest accomplishment? Being happily married to Patrick for 22+ years and raising her three amazing kids. Find out more at MaryDeMuth.com

Guest Blog from my friend Mary DeMuth, an excerpt from the “The Irresistible Table”

Thoughts on being Fat and Loved By God

I’ve done a ton of therapy.

I’ve gone to support groups.

I’ve read the books. Done the programs. Bought the CDs.

And I’ve prayed. Oh how I’ve prayed.

But here’s the thing: I’m still fat.

Can I tell you how humbling it is to have your weakness – your sin – on the outside for all the world to see? Even before I open my mouth, share my heart, or find out one little fact about you,  I have to overcome the fact that you know I’m not in control. That I’m a failure in this really huge part of my life.

If I could change anything about me, this would be it. I feel like it has “clicked” for so many others, but has never clicked for me.

Some of you may be thinking, “Well if she weren’t so lazy, she wouldn’t be fat.” or “If she could just show some self control, she wouldn’t be that way.” I used to think that as well. But here is the thing that all that godly therapy and the love of an amazing husband has shown me: I’m not lazy. (I work really, really hard in a lot of areas of my life.) I do have self-control (in many areas of my life). But this one area? I haven’t got figured out.

I’m not writing this so that you will be sympathetic. The good news is that the people who love me are going to continue loving me whether I can shop in the regular store or have to shop in the plus-sized department. The reason I’m sharing this is because there is so much shame around this for me, and if there is for me, I’m sure that my other friends who struggle with their weight (or other areas of their life,) feel that shame as well. And I’m telling you that I think it’s OK to believe with my whole heart that as I keep trying to become healthier and stronger, God loves me in my brokeness and weakness. That shame that we feel that we have to “lead with” in life so we can say to the world: “Don’t tell me I’m not OK – I already know it – I’m totally shamed so you don’t have to shame me – I’ve already done it for myself” is not what God wants for us. God wants us to live free. Not just skinny and free. Free.

I’m also not writing this as an excuse for being this way. I’m trying to figure this out because I love God and my family and want to be around for a long time.  I know this will make some people angry, that I’m not going to shame myself here, but I’m OK with that. My weight is between me and God. For some reason, fat people make a lot of other people angry. That’s about them – not the overweight person they are shaming.

I’m going to choose to believe Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

I don’t know why I overeat. Oh I know the standard answer: I have a hole in my heart that only God can fill, but I’m filling it with food. But here’s the thing: That is shaming, and I don’t think shaming people gets them to change. (At least it’s never worked in my life.) In the past ten years I have been fifty pounds heavier than I am now, and I’ve also been fifty pounds lighter. My weight didn’t correspond to my prayer life or my bible reading. I don’t have the answer, but I’m not going to give up trying to figure it out.

This is the thorn in my flesh. This is the most humbling thing in my life. This situation right here? This is the thing that I pray about and struggle about and talk to God about. In some ways, this has been the thing in my life that has made me run to God and fall on my face like nothing else ever has.

So here’s what I’m going to do: keep talking to God and trying to figure why I am the way that I am. I’m going to keep trying to believe that God loves me the same way that my husband does: He loves me just as I am. AND He wants His best for me. There is no “but” between those two statements. It is possible to be overweight and totally adoringly loved by God.

Am I alone in this? If you struggle with your weight, do you know that God loves you exactly as you are this very moment? Do you know He is not waiting for you to be “normal” before He will love you?  I want you to know you are adored. You are cherished. You are a delight to Him who loves you more than you will ever understand or know.

I have to work on this every single day of my life – this knowledge that God loves me just like this. I pray that it becomes a reality for you and for me.

Thoughts on being Fat and Loved By God

How Can I Pray for You?

Friends – ass some of you who I hang out with on Facebook know, it’s a busy week. I’m doing radio and TV interviews, (and because of the TV interviews, I look a little like Mrs. Doubtfire under my clothes – all girdles and Spanx…)

I’ve asked for prayer on Facebook, and now I ask if of you.

Pray that I would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading in my meetings, my words, and my conversations.

Pray that I would use Godly wisdom in all that I do.

And let me pray for you.

Please put in the comments below how I can be praying for you. I will. I want to lift you up as you have done for me.

Love you all. Really.

Kathi

How Can I Pray for You?

5 Organizing Blogs You Should be Reading

 

 

KarenEhman.com

Funny, smart and real Karen is the deal. She’s with Proverbs 31 (so you know she’s good!) And can I tell you,  I could spend hours on her amazing site, but let me give you a little cheat sheet:

If you are struggling with piles of papers, check out Karen’s Brain in a Binder (LOVE THIS…)

More of Karen’s Freebies Be sure to check out her Twenty 30 Minute Clutter Busting Ideas

 

askannamoseley.com

This is one of those sites that you come across when you’re googling questions like “How do I clean out my washing machine?” and “How do I get rid of a urine smell?” (If you’ve never googled this question, you’ve obviously never raised boys.) There is a lot of cleaning advice, a lot of organizing advice, and some good old fashioned genius advice. One of my favorite things is her Cleaning Checklist Printables (go ahead… go get them, I’ll wait…)

Something I LOVE: Anna is the daughter of a friend of mine, but I stumbled upon her one day when I was googling “How to clean between the glass on your oven door?”  And this post popped up. Genius.

 

OrganizingPro.com

Marcia has been in the organizing game for a while and knows all the tricks – and she shares them with you – the organizing mentor you never had but desperately needed. One of my very favorite things about her site is all her great, funny and informative videos (warning, you could spend so much time watching her videos, you may just forget to cook dinner, as just a random example…)

Some of Marcia’s Great Downloads

And two more…

One Good Thing by Jilleee Great resource for all things homemade.

Becoming Minimalist Not really an organizing site, but when you have less stuff, you have less need to organize it all. LOVE this inspirational blog.

Tell me your best organizing tip (and feel free to steal from one of these sites and share it with us!) and you will be entered to win today’s prize pack of three books:

The Complete Guide to Getting and Staying Organized by Karen Ehman

Simplify Your Life: Get Organized and Stay Organized by Marcia Ramsland

and my book The Get Yourself Organized Solution.

Enter by Friday, Midnight – US shipping only.

5 Organizing Blogs You Should be Reading

1 Simple Thing: How to Make Homemade HE Laundry Detergent

I’d heard of several people making their own liquid laundry detergent, but there was mixing and boiling involved and I thought “Ugh. No Thank you.” But ever since I’d read how much people were saving making their own detergent, every time I picked up the giant tub of suds at Costco and had to pay way too much money, it made my budget very, very sad. (I mean, you could buy three Costco Whole Roasted Chickens for the same price!)

So when I saw a couple of people come out with this powdered Laundry Detergent recipe I knew I had to give it a try.  Smells great, works great, super easy to make,  and I got all the ingredients for under $35. (And I expect it to last at least six months.)

The first question everyone asks me is “Are you sure it’s safe for HE washers?”  All I can say is that I have scoured the internet looking for anyone who has had a problem with it and have yet to find someone. The main concern is that for HE washers you want a detergent that is less sudsy. Well I’ve sat there and watched my laundry go through a cycle with a store bough HE detergent and this homemade version, (and no, I don’t have better things to do with my time…) and the sudsing was identical.  But, if you are of the super-paranoid variety, $12 a month is a small price to pay for piece of mind. My hubby is super skeptical of “alternative” anything, but even he was convinced to give this a try. So far, we are loving it.

How to Make Homemade HE Laundry Detergent

Ingredients

3 bars Fels Naptha, grated ($1.33 x 3)

1 box Borax  ($5.75  -  76 ounces)

1 box Washing Soda ($4.00  -  55 ounces)

2 cups of baking soda($0.65 cents)

2 containers of  Oxyclean ($12.99 for 7.2 pounds)

1-2 containers of Purex fabric softener crystals ($6.97  -  28 ounces) (One bottle was plenty of smell for my gang!)

We found all of the ingredients at Target and at Amazon. I was not very patient to try this out, so I bought all the ingredients right away. Now I’ll be watching for them to go on sale to try and keep the price down even more.

Directions
1. Start by grading the Fels Naptha. I see that most people do this with a hand grater, but the soap is not that hard and I was able to use my food processor to grate it all up. Most people want it more grated (and would use a different blade,) but I loved the cheesey look of it.

 

 

 

 

2. Next, mix grated soap and the rest of your ingredients together. It seems that most people mixed right into the tub where they were going to store their soap. I wanted to make sure it got completely mixed up, so I used a big black garbage bag lining my bucket and poured everything in there. (Another hint: do this outside! All the powder can be a lot to breathe in.) Gather up the top of your garbage bag and keep tossing all the ingredients over and over until fully mixed.

 

And here is your finished product. Store soap in a sealed container with a scoop. I transfer what I’ll need for a month into a smaller jar to keep in my laundry area. Use 2 Tablespoons of detergent for every load of laundry. Make sure to put the detergent DIRECTLY INTO THE TUB, not the detergent dispenser.

There are so many things I love about this homemade detergent:

It’s Cheaper: I’m estimating this will save me between $80-$100 over then next 6-9 months
Less Packaging: better for the enviroment
Less Lugging: I hate with a fiery passion lugging all those giant items home from Costco, but love that I can pick up these small items and keep the tub in my garage
Never Running Out of Laundry Soap – Priceless

And if you’re looking for a liquid detergent recipe, check out One Good Thing by Jillee 

Q4U: Have you made your own laundry detergent before? Do you have other great, ideas about how to keep your bills down? Share them in the comments below. If we love it, you may be asked to write a guest post here on the blog (and receive one of Kathi’s books!)

 

1 Simple Thing: How to Make Homemade HE Laundry Detergent

One Simple Thing: TOP SECRETS For Getting the Most Out Of Consignment Sale Season (From a Consigning Pro!)

Kathi here: You know that I’m all about getting organized, and the fastest way to get organized is to GET RID OF STUFF.  But it’s easy to get stuck when you don’t know what to do with all that STUFF. Plus, anytime I can buy something used and skip the manufacturer creating something out of new materials, it’s a win for everyone.  So I asked my friend Jen, the owner of The Lollipop Market (a high end children’s consignment shop in my hometown of San Jose,) to share with us the basics of getting ourselves organized and making money with consignment. In the comments below, I would love to hear your best tips for consigning or other ways to get the most out of your children’s clothes.

If you are not familiar with seasonal consignment sale shopping, lean in, because I’m about to let you in on a few secrets that could dramatically cut your expenses.

Since I started shopping and selling at consignment sales 4 years ago, I have spent less than $150 a year, per child, on clothing, shoes, and costumes for my daughters.  Along the way, I’ve learned a few secrets of successfully shopping and selling at consignment sales. I’d love to help you get organized to do it too!

Consignment shopping combines all the best parts of ebay, craigslist and garage sales: highly discounted prices on gently used items – without the worst parts: shipping fees, no-shows, and limited selection.

5 Things Every Shopper Should Know:

Bring a list of exactly what you need.  To do that, you need to know what you already have. Take the time to go through next season’s clothes. Then, you can see exactly what you need and you won’t end up with 15 pairs of shorts, but no jeans/skirts or shirts that match.
Take the time to match outfits with shoes! Shoes are expensive, and you can find some great deals at consignment sales. Make a list of what types of shoes you are missing for each child.  For example: this spring/summer my 3 year old has white sandals but needs flip flops, nicer buckle shoes, and pink sandals would be nice.
Volunteers shop first, so get involved. The best stuff goes quickly, so shop early. Think you don’t have time?  Most consignment sale owners will barter with you. Offer to distribute fliers, put up posters, bring snacks, or come up with your own idea.  Be creative and save some big money!
Shop from oldest to youngest. The larger sizes will have the smallest amount of inventory, so if you are shopping for multiple children, shop for the oldest child first and work your way down.
Shop the sizes bigger and smaller than your children actually wear.  Brands fit very differently, and you will find more deals by shopping more broadly.

Now, let’s talk about selling. The biggest benefit of consigning at seasonal sales is that you get to keep a higher percentage of your earnings than at traditional brick & mortar consignment shops.

3 Things to Make Your Consignor Experience a Snap:

Start early! Set apart one week to gather. The next week, hang. Then, sort by size/sex, price and finally pin tags on. Don’t save everything for the last minute! I’ve posted a room by room checklist HERE.
Price fairly.  Pricing is highly subjective, and can be difficult to navigate.  A great pricing resource can be found HERE. Remember that shoppers are at the consignment sale to find a deal, so don’t lose a sale over $1.
Match sets together.  As a rule, outfits sell better than individual pieces.  Groups of 2 shirts or shorts sell better than individual ones.  UNLESS it’s brand new or super cute, give someone a deal on a group of items.

Want to find a consignment sale in your area? Consignment Mommies is a great resource and you can search by zip code. Happy shopping and selling this consignment season! Jennifer Scoggins owns The Lollipop Market, an upscale seasonal consignment sale in San Jose, CA.

One Simple Thing: TOP SECRETS For Getting the Most Out Of Consignment Sale Season (From a Consigning Pro!)

The Husband Project Day #5 Pitch the Pajama Pants (for a night)

Today’s Project: Buy (or dig out) a piece of lingerie that both you and your husband will love – then put it to good use.

Yep – we’re going to go there. It’s time to talk lingerie.

How’s your lingerie wardrobe? A little outdated? Was the last teddy you bought something you got just before your wedding?

Oh there’s so much drama around this subject. Ever since Victoria let her Secret out, you cannot walk in a mall or watch live TV without having a push-up bra or lace thong thrust in your face. And, even worse, in your husband’s face.

How am I, a suburban housewife who has birthed two kids (both weighing in at almost ten pounds) supposed to compete with Gisele Bündchen, in all of her angel, airbrushed, glory? I can’t (duh), but that doesn’t mean that I should give up all together and resort to wearing footie pajamas to bed every night.

We’ve heard over and over that every woman needs a capsule wardrobe – select items of basic clothing that can be mixed and matched and updated with trendy pieces to get you dressed with confidence and out the door in a matter of minutes. Now it’s time to think about your capsule lingerie wardrobe. A few basic pieces in your favorite colors that all go together to make you feel fabulous.

Here are the basics that every woman needs to own and love:

Silky pajamas – No, they don’t show a lot of skin, but each piece can be worn separately (the bottoms with a silky camisole, the top all by itself). Plus, you have something cute and fun that keeps you covered when your in-laws come to visit.
Silky camisole and boy shorts – These can be mixed and matched with the above items, or worn together when a more bare-bones approach is appropriate.
A Kimono – This style of robe looks great on everyone, covers enough to run outside and get the paper, while still looking cool and sexy.
A Lacy Bra and Matching Underwear – Sure to be a crowd-of-one pleaser. Your choice on the style of underwear (thong, brief or full coverage).

Consider these optional items to make things a little more fun:

Some Fabulous Heels – Heels have the magical ability to make your legs look longer and give definition to your rear end. The nice thing is that it doesn’t matter if they’re not the most comfortable shoes in the world – you probably won’t be wearing them for very long.
A Teddy – Hides tummy issues and looks great on every figure.
 (Extra Credit) A Boa – I will leave that to your imagination.

Wear something sexy to sleep in. It doesn’t need to be one of Victoria’s sweet nothings. Perhaps just a silky nightshirt or a lacy camisole; the goal is to dump the Nike t-shirt that you normally sport.

Also, it’s your job to make sure that sleep is not all that happens in your pretty new nighty.

Make the extra effort to feel great about yourself — you know that some of that mood will rub off on your husband.

Tell me in the comments below when you will be pulling out the frills – any other details are up to you… (remember this is a family blog, so please keep all comments PG13…) One of you will win The What’s for Dinner Project

 

 

The Husband Project Day #5 Pitch the Pajama Pants (for a night)

The Husband Project Day #4 Post – It Notes – Man’s Greatest Invention: Leave a Word of Encouragement

Today’s Project: Leave a cute and flirty note for your husband to find.

“A simple word can renew hope.” Lois Mayday Rabey

Keep it simple today. Put a Post-it in his briefcase, on his dashboard, in his wallet, anywhere that he will find it. Make it fun, make it flirty, but just make sure he is the one who will find it. Wink-wink.

OK – some guys are going to think it’s hokey. But, if you can’t be hokey in your marriage, when, can you be?

All I want you to do is give him a little encouragement. I know there’s nothing more encouraging for my husband than knowing that I am on his side. Throughout his day, I want him to know that no matter how difficult things may be at work, he’s got someone at home rooting for him. All it takes is a post-it note, and about two seconds of thought.

And if you want to get the kids involved – look at what Dawn Beavers did for her husband – asking her kids why they love their daddy and putting Heart-Shaped Post-it Notes to work, she created a thing of art that would do any dad proud!

Crib Notes: 21 Post-It-Sized Encouragements

I’m praying for you today.
Those jeans are really working for you…
I love you.
You are the best dad!
You’re the kind of husband that makes the other wives jealous.
You rock my world!
Can’t wait to see you tonight – meet me upstairs…
Thanks for working hard to provide for us. I appreciate all that you do.
You make me feel beautiful.
I thank God for you everyday.
How did I get so lucky, being married to a guy like you?
You’re great!
You make everyday more fun.
Have a great day.
You’re hot!
I feel so safe with you.
Smart and good looking – I’ve got the whole package in you!
You can be very distracting, you know…
Our kids are so blessed to have a dad like you.
That smile I wear – it is all because of you.
God have blessed me in big ways by letting me be your wife.

Let’s Be More Specific

I gave you that list in case this whole exercise is a challenge for you. If it feels uncomfortable leaving a note for your husband, it you get writer’s block even when the blank page is post-it note sized, just use one of the above phrases to get you started.

However, if you’re comfortable, and can get a little more personal, I would highly encourage you to do so.

“Specific praise is far better than general praise.” Gary Smalley

When leaving notes for my husband, I try to be as specific as possible about how he has blessed me. Every once in a while, I will leave him a little note saying things like,

“How lucky am I that I have a husband who makes the bed everyday. Thanks for taking care of me.”

(Hint: Men love to know that you feel “taken care of.” It makes guys feel like they’re doing their job.)

Or

“I loved falling asleep on your shoulder last night. You have a special way of making me feel safe and warm.”

Think about the ways that your husband loves you, and then put them down on paper. When you write those things down, it’s a double blessing, because:

while you are writing it down, it reminds you of how much you are loved
it encourages your husband in a way that only you can

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver (Proverbs 25:11).

Your Project: Tell us what you are going to write on your Post-it, and where you are going to put it so he will see it.  Tell me in the comments and you will be entered to win THE GET YOURSELF ORGANIZED PROJECT.

 

The Husband Project Day #4 Post – It Notes – Man’s Greatest Invention: Leave a Word of Encouragement

The Husband Project Day #3 Spread Some Great Gossip about Your Guy

Today’s Project: Say something nice about your husband to someone else. Make sure you tell him what you said, and to whom.

As cliché as it may sound, our husbands want to be our heroes. More than they want to know that we love them, they want to know that we respect them. They need to know that they’re never the butt of our jokes, that they’re the go-to-guy in every story we tell.

Make an opportunity today to spread some great gossip about your man. It doesn’t matter if it’s one of your friends or one of his; let that somebody know how blessed you are to be married to your guy.

Some key phrases you may want to put on index cards to help you remember:

?         “I feel so lucky to have a man who knows how to do his own laundry.”

?         “You know when I knew that my husband really loved me? When he could remember my order at Starbucks.”

?         “I just love the way he is with our kids.”

?         “He makes the best lasagna on the planet.”

Steering the Ship

A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it  (James 3: 3-4 The Message). That’s what great gossip is all about.

As wives, we are often the ship’s captain, while our husbands are that huge ship. Words spoken in encouragement and love can go a long way to building our men up. But the opposite is true as well.  There is nothing that can determine the direction of our husband’s day quicker than the words that are spoken to him in the morning.

Sometimes as wives, we forget the role we play in our husband’s lives. We all remember that great line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, spoken by Toula’s mom, “The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck. She tells him which way to turn.”

OK, I don’t tell my husband which way to turn, but I do have an influence about how he navigates through his day.

I know that I need to be especially careful about my tone. Sometimes I think I am just oh-so-witty, when really it’s coming off as sarcastic and biting. It’s not enough to just say kind and encouraging words. I need to make sure that whatever words I choose only build up my husband, never tear him down.

That’s what great gossip is all about.

Death to the Dufus Dad

Our world encourages us to define our husbands by what is lacking in them. Need proof? Just turn on your TV.

Watch any channel for more than ten minutes and you’re almost assured of seeing some man playing the role of the dufus dad. You know the one; his wife is always right, his kids don’t respect him, and he’s the punch line of every joke, accompanied by a laugh track. Even his best friend, the dog, thinks he’s kind of a moron.

I feel like it’s time for a man revolution in our generation. No, I don’t want to go back to the times where women were tethered to the oven by their ever-present strand of pearls. But, I do want to see a place where men are allowed to be men and they can be respected for it.

My warrior cry will be, “Death to the Dufus Dad!”

But I digress.

OK – so you have bragged on your husband, now what?

Once you have done your bragging, let your husband know what you said, and to whom. He needs to know that he is the good guy in every story you tell.

With our friends, we have a lot of influence over the “tone” of our speech. Here’s how my friend, Michelle, puts it when it comes to steering away from complaining about her husband, Rick:

“I love this Project and have practiced it for years, even when I was irritated with my husband.  Sometimes hearing yourself point out the good stuff gives you the power to change your own perception of something that’s annoying — of course, not that Rick is EVER annoying.

Another thing I think about… how women can help other women.  When a woman is complaining about her husband (not confiding, because I think there’s a difference and we should be there for our buddies), but when it’s a light-hearted complaint, where a friend may be stuck in a rut, thinking about something in regard to her husband, I try and gently encourage her to see the goodness in her husband.  I might say something like, “Yeah, he likes to watch football, but think of how he’s also bonding with your sons by sharing something they have in common!”  You know, I try to find the silver lining and ‘illuminate’ that for my friend.”

While your greatest need may be for your husband to tell you that he loves you, most guys are programmed differently. He wants, at his very core, to know that you respect him. He wants to know that you are proud of him and that he is the one you would choose again if given the chance.

This goes a long way to solidifying you as a team, as well. There’s no way that anyone in my family would ever say a word against

 

my husband. They know that I’m on his side, and it’s a gossip-free zone around me (unless the gossip is about how great he is.)

So to be entered into today’s giveaway: 1. Tell us something awesome about your husband, and then tell your husband that you bragged on him.

And what will you win? A copy of The “What’s for Dinner?” Solution. Food and flattery – does it get any better for a guy?

The Husband Project Day #3 Spread Some Great Gossip about Your Guy

The Husband Project Day #2 Plan a Guy Movie Night

Today’s Project: Let him win the media wars as you suggest an action-packed-car-chasing-things-exploding thriller – a guy movie.

“What is it with men and The Godfather?” wonders chick-flick princess Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. Tom Hanks’ response? “It is the I Ching. It is the sum of all wisdom. The Godfather answers all of life’s questions. What should I pack for my summer vacation? ‘Leave the gun, take the cannoli.’”

One of the most marriage-testing conversations a couple can have takes place in the aisles of your local video store (or on Netflix, or on Amazon…). You want romance and subtitles – he wants guns and grunts.

Movies are an important ingredient of “The Husband Project”. There are many projects where you, as the wife, are called upon to put your husband’s wants and desires before your own, and in no area of marriage is it harder to “die to self’ than when picking what you’ll be watching on a Friday night.

The good news? Choosing to watch a “guy flick” with your man reaps double benefits – not only are you loving on your husband in a tangible way, you’re also doing research at the same time. The more Rambo-esqe cinema you take in, the deeper a peek you’ll have into your man’s inner life.

If you ever doubted that your husband’s deepest desire was to be your hero, just check out the kinds of movies he watches. Most male-movie fare is all about being a stand-up kind of guy, doing the right thing, no matter the circumstances. (Think Bruce Willis in Die Hard and Mel Gibson in The Patriot.)

Here is how my pastor, Scott Simmerok, put it when I asked him why he likes the kind of movies he does:

“Action thrillers and motivational/inspirational are the way I roll.  Not scary stuff but suspenseful, who-done-it, and also underdog type movies when the little guy wins. Except I wasn’t a fan of Sea Biscuit and I’ll never admit to shedding a tear in that flick.”

So in the interest of public service to the wife community, I’ve compiled a list of guy movies for you to choose from.

This list is a compilation of the best dude movies as voted on by my guy friends. You may not like, or even approve of, every title on this list, but at least you’ll have a working knowledge of guy movie culture, plus a go-to guide the next time he leaves it up to you to fend for yourself at the video store.

Thanks to my guy friends for their insight and comments. They have preformed a great service to women everywhere.

 

Guy Movies

Anything with Al Pacino

Anything with Marlon Brando (pre-Don Juan Demarco)

Anything with Bruce Willis

Sports

Field of Dreams

“Baseball. Need I say more?” Steve

We are Marshall

“Inspiring, true, sports story,” Scott

Action

Back to the Future trilogy

Steve says,” I’ve always been interested in time travel. The only think that would have made it better would be a cameo by Molly Ringwald.”

Mission Impossible 1,2,3

Bourne Supremacy and all the sequels

The Net

Lord of the Ring: The Return of the King

“Great story, great action, worth sitting through three hours.” Karl

Violence

Gladiator

“Total macho movie, lots of action, however good plot and I love the soundtrack. This is one of the few movies where you don’t mind being the guy wearing the skirt.” Karl

Saving Private Ryan

Steve says, “Groundbreaking cinema, pro-military without being pro-war.”

The Shawshank Redemption

“Morgan Freeman and good over evil. What more could you ask for?” Charles

(Note from Kathi: While these are the hardest movies for me to watch, they do give me ample opportunity to bury my face in my husband’s shoulder.)

Humor

Young Frankenstein

“Seriously funny movie, quotes are memorable and make me laugh out loud whenever I think about that movie.” Karl

Oceans 11  

Romance

(This was a trick category – if you think this falls under guy movies, you are still thinking like a chick.)

Movies Both Guys and Girls Like

This is a magical list. Every Hollywood producer is looking for that mystical intersection of entertaining males and delighting females. Here’s a group of movies that, from my research, is a pretty sure bet for both of you:

Princess Bride – Don’t let the title fool you – even the teenage boys in our home love this movie.

What’s Up, Doc?

Indiana Jones (1 and 3 – but don’t even bother with 2)

City Slickers

Field of Dreams

Shrek

Chick Flicks

Only to be watched with girlfriends and large supplies of tissues and chocolates.

An Affair to Remember
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Steel Magnolias
Fried Green Tomatoes
Say Anything (John Cusack declaring his eternal love with a boom box? It’s the fantasy of many a girl and the impossible-to-live-up-to standard for every guy.)
Anything with Meg Ryan
Anything written by Jane Austin

So tell me – what kind of movies are your guy’s favorite? And for this week’s project, are you going to let him pick, or are you going to surprise him with a movie of his choice. Let me know in the comments below, and you will be entered to win TWO COPIES of the Marriage Project (one for you, and one for your man!)

That’s just two things:

What kind of movies does your guy like?

When are you going to watch a movie he would like this week?

The Husband Project Day #2 Plan a Guy Movie Night