Rob Roy O'Keefe's Blog: Green eggs and spam
September 19, 2025
Win a copy of 19 Doors!
September 14, 2025
September 1, 2025
Giveaways
Giveaways of 19 Doors are happening all over the internet. And soon to be on Goodreads as well.
July 1, 2025
19 Doors (19 days of ARCs )
19 days until 19 Doors is published on July 19.
As part of the global, no, make that galactic build-up, you can download an ARC for free for the next – you guessed it – 19 days.
https://storyoriginapp.com/directdown...
As part of the global, no, make that galactic build-up, you can download an ARC for free for the next – you guessed it – 19 days.
https://storyoriginapp.com/directdown...
March 26, 2025
Gearing up
Been a while since I've posted anything. Okay, it's been over a year.
But between making sure I engage in an hour of moderate exercise five days a week, spend two hours a week outside, sleep 8 hours every night (plus a daily 30 minute power nap), consume 9 servings of bread, cereal, rice, and pasta, 4 servings of vegetables, 3 servings of fruit, 3 servings of dairy, and 2 servings of meat, read the nutrition labels of the aforementioned food items paying particular attention to sugar, fat, and sodium, then drink 8 glasses of water each day, and then socialize for 3 hours per day, well, it doesn't leave much time for anything else.
However, I have managed to find 30 minutes each week (although not in a row) to work on a new collection of short stories. It's called 19 Doors, and I expect to start recruiting beta readers this spring and summer.
But between making sure I engage in an hour of moderate exercise five days a week, spend two hours a week outside, sleep 8 hours every night (plus a daily 30 minute power nap), consume 9 servings of bread, cereal, rice, and pasta, 4 servings of vegetables, 3 servings of fruit, 3 servings of dairy, and 2 servings of meat, read the nutrition labels of the aforementioned food items paying particular attention to sugar, fat, and sodium, then drink 8 glasses of water each day, and then socialize for 3 hours per day, well, it doesn't leave much time for anything else.
However, I have managed to find 30 minutes each week (although not in a row) to work on a new collection of short stories. It's called 19 Doors, and I expect to start recruiting beta readers this spring and summer.
September 27, 2023
Short Story Serial: Final Installment
Chance was sitting behind his desk when there was a knock on his office door. “Unless you’re delivering tacos, come back in an hour,” he shouted.
Ever since the so-called City Park Uprising – he thought it was more like a series of blunders – his waiting room was full of scrubs who wanted to be heroes.
The door opened, but there were no tacos or food of any kind. Normally, Chance would be annoyed, but not in this case. It was Kicks.
“The kid did good,” she said, making herself as comfortable as possible in the only other chair in the office.
“You mean ‘Unity?’” Chance responded, laughing.
“Word travels fast, I see,” remarked Kicks. “Does he know how you helped him?”
“No,” snarled Chance. “I’m not in the habit of telling every scrub that walks in here about my plans.”
“Tell me you didn’t share that ridiculous story about being named by parents with a bad sense of humor.”
“Of course, I did. What do you think would happen if I told the truth?” Chance asked. “That I can manipulate chance, fortune, the odds – whatever you want to call it – for people who are all out of luck? Do you know how many scrubs would be lined up at my door? I’d never eat in peace.”
“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing?” Kick suggested.
Chance sidestepped the idea. “What about you? First you agree to train the kid, then you go to battle with him? What kind of thief are you?”
“The kind that steals a gourmet sandwich for her soft-hearted husband,” she said, removing a bag from her backpack.
“Is that pastrami?”
It was. And it was delicious.
Ever since the so-called City Park Uprising – he thought it was more like a series of blunders – his waiting room was full of scrubs who wanted to be heroes.
The door opened, but there were no tacos or food of any kind. Normally, Chance would be annoyed, but not in this case. It was Kicks.
“The kid did good,” she said, making herself as comfortable as possible in the only other chair in the office.
“You mean ‘Unity?’” Chance responded, laughing.
“Word travels fast, I see,” remarked Kicks. “Does he know how you helped him?”
“No,” snarled Chance. “I’m not in the habit of telling every scrub that walks in here about my plans.”
“Tell me you didn’t share that ridiculous story about being named by parents with a bad sense of humor.”
“Of course, I did. What do you think would happen if I told the truth?” Chance asked. “That I can manipulate chance, fortune, the odds – whatever you want to call it – for people who are all out of luck? Do you know how many scrubs would be lined up at my door? I’d never eat in peace.”
“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing?” Kick suggested.
Chance sidestepped the idea. “What about you? First you agree to train the kid, then you go to battle with him? What kind of thief are you?”
“The kind that steals a gourmet sandwich for her soft-hearted husband,” she said, removing a bag from her backpack.
“Is that pastrami?”
It was. And it was delicious.
September 17, 2023
Rob Roy O'Keefe's Blog: Green eggs and spam September 4, 2023 Short Story Serial: Seventh Installment
Leonard stood in the city’s main park, a good distance away from a graffiti-covered gazebo where hundreds of dejected people from the surrounding neighborhoods were lined up, as if waiting for an audience with whoever was inside. As Leonard drew closer, he could see the three familiar faces of the occupants – Pranskter, Skipper, and Scratch – along with one familiar figure in a full-length cowl.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, Leonard was not by himself. Turned out that prior to Leonards’ visit to the agency, Chance had been approached by Bouncer and Stampede, who were each hoping for a new opportunity after the tournament fiasco. It seems Chance had made it clear he wasn’t at all happy with their actions at the tournament and informed them that the only way either of them would ever work again is if they made things right with Leonard. That’s why they were both standing with him now, quiet and contrite.
Even more surprising was the presence of the fourth member of their group.
“I can’t have somebody who trained with me getting beat by this bunch,” an annoyed Kicks explained. “It would mess with my reputation.”
Leonard suspected that wasn’t the only reason, but he, along with Bouncer and Stampede, were glad she was here, whatever the motive.
He looked to Stampede. “You’re sure there are cows in the area this time?”
Stampede nodded. “There’s a dairy farmers conference at the Convention Center just down the street with dozens of Guernseys, Holsteins, and Jersey bovines, as well as a few Dexters. And those have a mean streak. I’ve already got them moving towards us.”
Leonard was having a hard time picturing belligerent cows, but he’d take what he could get.
“And we’re going to work together this time, right?” Leonard was addressing Bouncer. “Staying withing arms reach? No going off alone?”
Bouncer nodded his assent.
“Looks like we’ve been spotted,” Kicks interrupted. “What do you want to do? Your team, your call, Leonard.”
Prankster had left the gazebo and was walking towards them.
“Let’s see what he has to say,” suggested Leonard. “In the meantime, Stampede, get all those cows to encircle the park.”
“Didn’t you learn your lesson at the tournament, Farm Boy?” taunted Prankster, as he got within speaking range. “You’re disturbing our collection efforts. What are you doing here?”
Trying not to get humiliated a second time, thought Leonard. And hopefully helping these people in the process.
“What you’re doing is wrong,” Leonard said accusingly. “You’re supposed to be protecting the residents.”
“Wrong?” laughed Prankster. “But we are protecting them. We’re protecting them from all sorts of unfortunate events that could happen if we don’t get paid.”
Prankster’s laughter ended abruptly as a pair of brown oxfords made solid contact with his head.
“Hey,” he yelled, noticing Kicks for the first time.
“And who’s going to protect you?” she asked, mockingly. “It’s idiots like you who give hard-working, self-respecting villains a bad name.”
She then looked apologetically at Leonard, who couldn’t help but be pleased with what just happened.
Prankster was furious. “So, it’s like that, huh? Fine. We’ll be happy to take you down again. Along with Shoe Lady here.” He then ran back to the gazebo.
Everything escalated fast.
First, Scratch attempted to distract everyone with a bout of unbearable itching. But before it could get too bad, Kicks knocked him out with a pair of riding boots.
Leonard saw that the park was filling up with cows. Remarkably, lots and lots of cows. He had forgotten how big they could be. He reached out to merge the abilities of Stampede and Bouncer but felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see who it was, but nobody was there. Confused, he tried again, only to feel another tap. He turned again, this time to see Prankster taunting him. He lunged for his adversary, but quickly fell to the ground. He had been pantsed.
Once again, he had been embarrassed. But this time, Kicks, who was getting ready to launch another shoe salvo, was there to remind him to focus. Encouraged, he managed to make contact with Bouncer and Stampede. He could feel their abilities merging, enabling him to focus what he knew was a strange combination of powers.
Strange or not, it proved to be effective, as cows of all sorts started bouncing off trees, park benches, and each other, causing – yes – utter mayhem. Prankster and his team were helplessly knocked around the park as they tried unsuccessfully to find cover.
When the battle began, all the locals who had lined up to pay their protection money scrambled to find protective cover. But now many were out in the open, clapping and cheering. It looked like the rematch was over.
“We did it,” shouted Bouncer, as Stampede worked to calm down the herd. Apparently, dairy cows aren’t used to flying around like tennis balls.
Leonard was elated. That is, until Kicks pointed to the center of the park. It was the small, cowled figure who had been watching from the safety of the gazebo. In the heat of the confrontation, Leonard had forgotten about the mysterious fourth member of Prankster’s gang.
The enigmatic adversary walked towards them at an even pace, casually removing the cowl to reveal herself: a gray-haired woman wearing glasses and dressed in standard corporate attire – not at all what Leonard or any of his companions had expected.
It was then that Leonard heard a voice in his head. It was challenging and caring all at once. “Are you living up to your full potential?” the voice asked. “Are you the best version of you?”
The voice continued – reassuring, promising – willing to unlock the secrets to success, just for him. Somehow, he knew it was this new adversary, who seemed to be projecting her thoughts directly into his mind. And judging by the reactions of his team, they were experiencing the same thing.
It didn’t matter that Leonard knew the source. He wondered if he was happy with what he had achieved in his life. Shouldn’t he be more? He thought about the possibilities that awaited if only he could reach his potential as an image formed in his mind.
He saw a glass pitcher full of refreshing lemonade. Yes! He realized what it meant. Life had given him lemons, but he was ready to change his fortune by making lemonade! Why was he wasting his time here? He needed to leave. He needed to find lemons, lots of lemons, so he could make lemonade for everybody!
Off to Leonard’s left, Bouncer was draped over a tree limb, shouting that he wanted to “Hang in there!” as images of cute kittens hanging on clothes lines materialized in his head.
At the same time, Stampede was stumbling around, believing he was on a path in the woods. “It’s the journey, not the destination!” he yelled. “Who wants to journey with me?”
Kicks was experiencing something similar, but she fought back, attempting to launch a pair of nasty soccer cleats at this new, powerful adversary. She struggled to ignore the barrage of intrusive thoughts. “You could be so much more. Look up! See the mountain top! That’s you planting your flag. You can aim higher. Aim higher!” The thoughts became a command, and her desperate shoe volley flew high above her target. A complete miss.
Thanks to this potent new attack, Prankster and his associates had time to recover. He stood over Leonard, looking down at him triumphantly.
“You don’t look so good, Farm Boy,” gloated Prankster. “And neither do your friends. But that’s what happens when you go up against a second-tier power like Aspire. I told you once before that you didn’t want to meet her. Now you know why.”
Leonard hated how Prankster was taunting him, but there was nothing he could do about it. More images and even more clichés were working themselves deep into his thoughts. One moment, he wanted to be like Rosie the Riveter because he knew “We can do it!” The next moment, he saw a beautiful expanding vista, giving him hope because “Today was the first day of the rest of his life!”
Throughout the length of the attack, Aspire stood impassively, studying her victims like specimens on a slide. But slowly, something began to change. Maybe Aspire was overconfident, or maybe the effort to subdue four people at once was getting to her. Whatever the reason, her messages were becoming less compelling. She started to rely on benign one-word slogans like “Dedication,” “Focus,” and “Teamwork.”
The last one – “Teamwork” –gave Leonard an idea. He remembered something that Chance had told him at their first meeting. “80% of the population has some sort of mutation. Most don’t bother trying to develop their abilities because they’re generally unremarkable.”
That meant that most of the people who had lined up here in the park had abilities – abilities he could tap into!
Leonard’s thoughts were no longer as muddled as they had been. As he took in his surroundings, he could make out Prankster, Aspire, and the others as well as his friends, who also seemed slightly more alert. He also saw movement from behind the bushes nearby. It was a small group of the locals, who had been hiding during the melee.
Leonard waited until his adversaries, caught up in boisterous self-congratulation, stopped paying attention to him. He motioned for the group hiding in the bushes to get closer. At first they were hesitant, but the youngest – a girl who looked like she was still in grade school –found the courage to leave her hiding place. She was soon followed by the others.
Leonard and the half-dozen or so neighbors quietly huddled together as he explained how they could help. They were unsure. Involving themselves in a fight was not something they were ready for. Then the same young girl who had been the first to come out of hiding implored them to act, saying. “You heard what Leonard said. We can beat those guys. But we have to be united.”
With that, they all joined hands. Immediately, Leonard could sense they all had some kind of ability. Nothing very powerful on its own – but together? It was just what he had hoped for.
As Leonard merged the abilities of his new partners, Prankster took notice. It was too late.
The first combination of powers Leonard merged was the ability to amplify sound with the ability to create echoes, just in time to turn Prankster’s warning into a garbled, deafening noise. Confused, Aspire, Skipper, and Scratch yelled back at Prankster, which only added to the resounding confusion while distracting them from utilizing their own abilities.
Kicks, Stampede, and Bouncer saw what was happening and looked to Leonard for direction. He frantically waived them over, instructing Stampede to encircle Prankster’s gang with as many dairy cows as possible. Skipper tried to hop her way out of the bovine barrier, but Leonard was ready. He merged Stampede’s ability with another local’s ability to create dead weight, rendering the cows immovable.
Next, he combined the abilities of Kicks and Bouncer, resulting in salvos of hiking boots that repeatedly ricocheted off the cows until Prankster and his associates were cowering helplessly on the ground.
The neighborhood residents, who had started the day resigned to paying protection money, were now cheering for Leonard and his friends. Each citizen made it a point to thank them personally.
The young girl who had been the first to add her abilities was especially curious. She wanted to know all about the group’s abilities and their names.
“This is Bouncer,” Leonard explained. “That’s Kicks. And that’s Stampede. And yes, we’ll make sure the cows leave.”
“And what name do you go by?” she asked Leonard.
Leonard paused for a second, thinking about everything that had just transpired. “You can call me – Unity.”
“You finally figured it out,” remarked Kicks, approvingly.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, Leonard was not by himself. Turned out that prior to Leonards’ visit to the agency, Chance had been approached by Bouncer and Stampede, who were each hoping for a new opportunity after the tournament fiasco. It seems Chance had made it clear he wasn’t at all happy with their actions at the tournament and informed them that the only way either of them would ever work again is if they made things right with Leonard. That’s why they were both standing with him now, quiet and contrite.
Even more surprising was the presence of the fourth member of their group.
“I can’t have somebody who trained with me getting beat by this bunch,” an annoyed Kicks explained. “It would mess with my reputation.”
Leonard suspected that wasn’t the only reason, but he, along with Bouncer and Stampede, were glad she was here, whatever the motive.
He looked to Stampede. “You’re sure there are cows in the area this time?”
Stampede nodded. “There’s a dairy farmers conference at the Convention Center just down the street with dozens of Guernseys, Holsteins, and Jersey bovines, as well as a few Dexters. And those have a mean streak. I’ve already got them moving towards us.”
Leonard was having a hard time picturing belligerent cows, but he’d take what he could get.
“And we’re going to work together this time, right?” Leonard was addressing Bouncer. “Staying withing arms reach? No going off alone?”
Bouncer nodded his assent.
“Looks like we’ve been spotted,” Kicks interrupted. “What do you want to do? Your team, your call, Leonard.”
Prankster had left the gazebo and was walking towards them.
“Let’s see what he has to say,” suggested Leonard. “In the meantime, Stampede, get all those cows to encircle the park.”
“Didn’t you learn your lesson at the tournament, Farm Boy?” taunted Prankster, as he got within speaking range. “You’re disturbing our collection efforts. What are you doing here?”
Trying not to get humiliated a second time, thought Leonard. And hopefully helping these people in the process.
“What you’re doing is wrong,” Leonard said accusingly. “You’re supposed to be protecting the residents.”
“Wrong?” laughed Prankster. “But we are protecting them. We’re protecting them from all sorts of unfortunate events that could happen if we don’t get paid.”
Prankster’s laughter ended abruptly as a pair of brown oxfords made solid contact with his head.
“Hey,” he yelled, noticing Kicks for the first time.
“And who’s going to protect you?” she asked, mockingly. “It’s idiots like you who give hard-working, self-respecting villains a bad name.”
She then looked apologetically at Leonard, who couldn’t help but be pleased with what just happened.
Prankster was furious. “So, it’s like that, huh? Fine. We’ll be happy to take you down again. Along with Shoe Lady here.” He then ran back to the gazebo.
Everything escalated fast.
First, Scratch attempted to distract everyone with a bout of unbearable itching. But before it could get too bad, Kicks knocked him out with a pair of riding boots.
Leonard saw that the park was filling up with cows. Remarkably, lots and lots of cows. He had forgotten how big they could be. He reached out to merge the abilities of Stampede and Bouncer but felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see who it was, but nobody was there. Confused, he tried again, only to feel another tap. He turned again, this time to see Prankster taunting him. He lunged for his adversary, but quickly fell to the ground. He had been pantsed.
Once again, he had been embarrassed. But this time, Kicks, who was getting ready to launch another shoe salvo, was there to remind him to focus. Encouraged, he managed to make contact with Bouncer and Stampede. He could feel their abilities merging, enabling him to focus what he knew was a strange combination of powers.
Strange or not, it proved to be effective, as cows of all sorts started bouncing off trees, park benches, and each other, causing – yes – utter mayhem. Prankster and his team were helplessly knocked around the park as they tried unsuccessfully to find cover.
When the battle began, all the locals who had lined up to pay their protection money scrambled to find protective cover. But now many were out in the open, clapping and cheering. It looked like the rematch was over.
“We did it,” shouted Bouncer, as Stampede worked to calm down the herd. Apparently, dairy cows aren’t used to flying around like tennis balls.
Leonard was elated. That is, until Kicks pointed to the center of the park. It was the small, cowled figure who had been watching from the safety of the gazebo. In the heat of the confrontation, Leonard had forgotten about the mysterious fourth member of Prankster’s gang.
The enigmatic adversary walked towards them at an even pace, casually removing the cowl to reveal herself: a gray-haired woman wearing glasses and dressed in standard corporate attire – not at all what Leonard or any of his companions had expected.
It was then that Leonard heard a voice in his head. It was challenging and caring all at once. “Are you living up to your full potential?” the voice asked. “Are you the best version of you?”
The voice continued – reassuring, promising – willing to unlock the secrets to success, just for him. Somehow, he knew it was this new adversary, who seemed to be projecting her thoughts directly into his mind. And judging by the reactions of his team, they were experiencing the same thing.
It didn’t matter that Leonard knew the source. He wondered if he was happy with what he had achieved in his life. Shouldn’t he be more? He thought about the possibilities that awaited if only he could reach his potential as an image formed in his mind.
He saw a glass pitcher full of refreshing lemonade. Yes! He realized what it meant. Life had given him lemons, but he was ready to change his fortune by making lemonade! Why was he wasting his time here? He needed to leave. He needed to find lemons, lots of lemons, so he could make lemonade for everybody!
Off to Leonard’s left, Bouncer was draped over a tree limb, shouting that he wanted to “Hang in there!” as images of cute kittens hanging on clothes lines materialized in his head.
At the same time, Stampede was stumbling around, believing he was on a path in the woods. “It’s the journey, not the destination!” he yelled. “Who wants to journey with me?”
Kicks was experiencing something similar, but she fought back, attempting to launch a pair of nasty soccer cleats at this new, powerful adversary. She struggled to ignore the barrage of intrusive thoughts. “You could be so much more. Look up! See the mountain top! That’s you planting your flag. You can aim higher. Aim higher!” The thoughts became a command, and her desperate shoe volley flew high above her target. A complete miss.
Thanks to this potent new attack, Prankster and his associates had time to recover. He stood over Leonard, looking down at him triumphantly.
“You don’t look so good, Farm Boy,” gloated Prankster. “And neither do your friends. But that’s what happens when you go up against a second-tier power like Aspire. I told you once before that you didn’t want to meet her. Now you know why.”
Leonard hated how Prankster was taunting him, but there was nothing he could do about it. More images and even more clichés were working themselves deep into his thoughts. One moment, he wanted to be like Rosie the Riveter because he knew “We can do it!” The next moment, he saw a beautiful expanding vista, giving him hope because “Today was the first day of the rest of his life!”
Throughout the length of the attack, Aspire stood impassively, studying her victims like specimens on a slide. But slowly, something began to change. Maybe Aspire was overconfident, or maybe the effort to subdue four people at once was getting to her. Whatever the reason, her messages were becoming less compelling. She started to rely on benign one-word slogans like “Dedication,” “Focus,” and “Teamwork.”
The last one – “Teamwork” –gave Leonard an idea. He remembered something that Chance had told him at their first meeting. “80% of the population has some sort of mutation. Most don’t bother trying to develop their abilities because they’re generally unremarkable.”
That meant that most of the people who had lined up here in the park had abilities – abilities he could tap into!
Leonard’s thoughts were no longer as muddled as they had been. As he took in his surroundings, he could make out Prankster, Aspire, and the others as well as his friends, who also seemed slightly more alert. He also saw movement from behind the bushes nearby. It was a small group of the locals, who had been hiding during the melee.
Leonard waited until his adversaries, caught up in boisterous self-congratulation, stopped paying attention to him. He motioned for the group hiding in the bushes to get closer. At first they were hesitant, but the youngest – a girl who looked like she was still in grade school –found the courage to leave her hiding place. She was soon followed by the others.
Leonard and the half-dozen or so neighbors quietly huddled together as he explained how they could help. They were unsure. Involving themselves in a fight was not something they were ready for. Then the same young girl who had been the first to come out of hiding implored them to act, saying. “You heard what Leonard said. We can beat those guys. But we have to be united.”
With that, they all joined hands. Immediately, Leonard could sense they all had some kind of ability. Nothing very powerful on its own – but together? It was just what he had hoped for.
As Leonard merged the abilities of his new partners, Prankster took notice. It was too late.
The first combination of powers Leonard merged was the ability to amplify sound with the ability to create echoes, just in time to turn Prankster’s warning into a garbled, deafening noise. Confused, Aspire, Skipper, and Scratch yelled back at Prankster, which only added to the resounding confusion while distracting them from utilizing their own abilities.
Kicks, Stampede, and Bouncer saw what was happening and looked to Leonard for direction. He frantically waived them over, instructing Stampede to encircle Prankster’s gang with as many dairy cows as possible. Skipper tried to hop her way out of the bovine barrier, but Leonard was ready. He merged Stampede’s ability with another local’s ability to create dead weight, rendering the cows immovable.
Next, he combined the abilities of Kicks and Bouncer, resulting in salvos of hiking boots that repeatedly ricocheted off the cows until Prankster and his associates were cowering helplessly on the ground.
The neighborhood residents, who had started the day resigned to paying protection money, were now cheering for Leonard and his friends. Each citizen made it a point to thank them personally.
The young girl who had been the first to add her abilities was especially curious. She wanted to know all about the group’s abilities and their names.
“This is Bouncer,” Leonard explained. “That’s Kicks. And that’s Stampede. And yes, we’ll make sure the cows leave.”
“And what name do you go by?” she asked Leonard.
Leonard paused for a second, thinking about everything that had just transpired. “You can call me – Unity.”
“You finally figured it out,” remarked Kicks, approvingly.
September 4, 2023
Short Story Serial: Sixth Installment
In the month that followed, Leonard kept to himself, only going out to work his night job at the warehouse. Prankster, Skipper, Scratch, and the mysterious fourth member of their team had gone on to win the tournament. The city immediately awarded them with a contract to reduce ability-related crime.
“I was wondering what happened to you,” remarked Chance. “You dropped out of sight after the tournament.”
Leonard was back at the agency. He wasn’t looking for an assignment or anything else really. He stopped by because it felt like the only place he could go to, other than home or work.
“Feeling sorry for yourself?” Chance asked, without any sympathy.
“At first, yeah,” Leonard admitted. “But not now. Anyway, I brought you something.”
Leonard put a bag on Chance’s desk.
Chance was quiet for a moment. “You brought me –“
“Lunch,” confirmed Leonard. “I remembered how you always seemed to be trying to eat whenever I came in. It’s no big deal. I just wanted to say thanks.”
“You were humiliated at the tournament – the tournament I suggested you sign up for – and you want to thank me?” It had been a while since someone surprised Chance, but today he found himself unprepared for Leonard’s gesture.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Leonard said thoughtfully. “The truth is I wasn’t ready to lead a team. Especially under those circumstances.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” consoled Chance. “It works both ways. People also have to be open to being led. Those two you teamed up with weren’t ready for that. Hey, is this a Reuben sandwich? With extra dressing?”
“Maybe,” said Leonard, referring to Chance’s comments about leading, not the contents of the sandwich. “Again, I just wanted to say thanks. I’ll let you get back to work.”
“What work? You may not have noticed, but my waiting room is empty today. Just like yesterday, the day before, and the day before that.”
Leonard didn’t understand. “Why? What happened?”
“Prankster and his friends happened,” Chance explained. “Sure, they reduced the abilities-related crime wave like they were asked to. Except then they went on a spree of their own. The only way to avoid them is to stay home. And I’m not sure how much longer that’s going to be true.”
“Can’t the city find someone to help?” Leonard wondered.
“Who do you suggest?” countered Chance. “None of the first-tiers can be bothered. Not enough public relations potential. Most second-tiers can’t afford to walk away from their current gigs. And the scrubs who were my usual clients? They won’t cut it. No offense.”
Leonard wasn’t offended. He knew Chance was right. His performance in the tournament had proven it. Nothing confusing about that.
“So, how about it?” asked Chance, smiling wickedly.
Now Leonard was confused. “How about what?”
“I was wondering what happened to you,” remarked Chance. “You dropped out of sight after the tournament.”
Leonard was back at the agency. He wasn’t looking for an assignment or anything else really. He stopped by because it felt like the only place he could go to, other than home or work.
“Feeling sorry for yourself?” Chance asked, without any sympathy.
“At first, yeah,” Leonard admitted. “But not now. Anyway, I brought you something.”
Leonard put a bag on Chance’s desk.
Chance was quiet for a moment. “You brought me –“
“Lunch,” confirmed Leonard. “I remembered how you always seemed to be trying to eat whenever I came in. It’s no big deal. I just wanted to say thanks.”
“You were humiliated at the tournament – the tournament I suggested you sign up for – and you want to thank me?” It had been a while since someone surprised Chance, but today he found himself unprepared for Leonard’s gesture.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Leonard said thoughtfully. “The truth is I wasn’t ready to lead a team. Especially under those circumstances.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” consoled Chance. “It works both ways. People also have to be open to being led. Those two you teamed up with weren’t ready for that. Hey, is this a Reuben sandwich? With extra dressing?”
“Maybe,” said Leonard, referring to Chance’s comments about leading, not the contents of the sandwich. “Again, I just wanted to say thanks. I’ll let you get back to work.”
“What work? You may not have noticed, but my waiting room is empty today. Just like yesterday, the day before, and the day before that.”
Leonard didn’t understand. “Why? What happened?”
“Prankster and his friends happened,” Chance explained. “Sure, they reduced the abilities-related crime wave like they were asked to. Except then they went on a spree of their own. The only way to avoid them is to stay home. And I’m not sure how much longer that’s going to be true.”
“Can’t the city find someone to help?” Leonard wondered.
“Who do you suggest?” countered Chance. “None of the first-tiers can be bothered. Not enough public relations potential. Most second-tiers can’t afford to walk away from their current gigs. And the scrubs who were my usual clients? They won’t cut it. No offense.”
Leonard wasn’t offended. He knew Chance was right. His performance in the tournament had proven it. Nothing confusing about that.
“So, how about it?” asked Chance, smiling wickedly.
Now Leonard was confused. “How about what?”
August 20, 2023
Short Story Serial: Fifth Installment
The opening ceremonies were complete. The head of the city’s Special Crimes Unit wished good luck to all the participants and then ran off the field as fast as he could. No sense in risking any collateral damage.
The early rounds of the tournament were underway. Leonard, Bouncer, and Stampede managed to get through the first round of the competition thanks to a forfeit. Turns out the scheduled competition, all of whom were long past retirement age, didn’t realize the tournament was the same evening as Movie Night. And Movie Night always had free popcorn, which was more than could be said for the tournament.
Their second opponents never made it into the stadium. In their excitement, one of the competitors activated her power of disorientation, which resulted in the other team members wandering off despite her efforts to round them up in time to compete.
Now Leonard found himself standing in the center of the arena flanked by his new partners. The crowd cheered raucously, although whether it was for their victory, or their defeat, was hard to tell. Either way, it was still intimidating, and Leonard found himself more than a little nervous.
Abruptly, the crowd became even louder. Leonard understood why: their opponents for this round, four in total, were entering the arena from the far end. As they got closer, he saw Bouncer grimace.
“What is it?” Leonard asked.
“I know those guys,” he replied.
“So do I,” Stampede volunteered. “Except for the one in the cloak. Anyway, it’s not good.”
“Hey, look,” shouted one of them. “It’s Beach Ball.”
“And Dr. Moolittle,” laughed another.
Leonard turned to his partners, perplexed. “I thought you said –“
Bouncer answered. “Yeah, we have history.”
The two groups walked towards each other, one with confidence and the other with something that would never be confused with confidence. They met in the center of the grounds.
Leonard had no idea what the protocol was. Do I shake hands? Start battling? Scratch my nose? Wait. Why is my nose so itchy? It’s really, really itchy. In fact, it’s maddening.
As Leonard desperately tried to relieve the itch, he noticed that his partners were having the same issue.
“Not so fast, Scratch,” said one of Leonard’s soon-to-be opponents to another. “Let’s get acquainted, first.”
Just like that, Leonard’s nose stopped itching.
The leader, looking ordinary in jeans and a faded t-shirt, addressed Leonard directly. “I’m called Prankster. You’ll find out why soon enough. The guy on my right is Scratch. You already had a sample of what he does. And this is Skipper,” he said, gesturing to a young woman who was hopping around while whirling a jump rope impossibly fast.
“We already know these two clowns,” Prankster continued, acknowledging Bouncer and Stampede. “Who are you?”
Leonard tried to appear confident as he announced himself. He had come up with a new name for the occasion. “I’m Combine.”
“Combine?” laughed Prankster. “Like farm equipment? What do you do? Make hay? This is too perfect.”
Another failed attempt to come up with an appropriate alias, Leonard thought. Why is it so hard?
“Who’s that?” Leonard asked, pointing towards a smallish figure standing off to the side in a dark, full-length cloak with hood. It was unusual to see anyone other than a first-tier in anything resembling a costume. Second-tiers and scrubs couldn’t afford them.
“You don’t want to meet her,” Prankster cautioned with a slight shiver. “Anyway, we’re going to be more than enough for you, Farm Boy. Don’t worry, though. This should be quick.”
And quick it was.
When the scoreboard clock signified ten seconds before the match was to start, Pranskter and his team began to step back, apparently getting into a predetermined formation. Except for their cloaked accomplice, who simply stood still.
For their part, Leonard and his team looked blankly at each other right up until the bellow of the crowd signified that the match was on. Leonard called to Stampede and Bouncer to move closer together.
“We’ll have a better chance if we’re close enough for me to reach both of you. Otherwise, I can’t merge your abilities.”
He was promptly ignored.
Stampede was rolling on the ground, having succumbed to an itching frenzy instigated by Scratch. Bouncer, on the other hand, launched himself towards a stadium wall, and to his credit, caromed with significant velocity towards Prankster. Before he could make impact, Skipper effortlessly capered between them and struck Bouncer with the wooden handle of her jump rope, knocking him to the pitch, where he lay stunned.
“Stampede!” Leonard didn’t know what to do, so he shouted hazy, unhelpful instructions instead. “Move! Do something! Cows!”
Stampede only looked back helplessly, later explaining that even if he could overcome Scratch’s onslaught, there was only one dairy cow in the area, and it was locked in a cage at a petting zoo on the other side of the city.
Reacting more than thinking, Leonard made a run towards Bouncer, but immediately fell flat on his face. Somehow his shoelaces had been tied together. He looked up to see Pranskter laughing at him.
“I told you it would be quick.”
Throughout the entire affair, which according to the stadium clock, lasted less than a minute, the figure in the cloak never even moved.
The early rounds of the tournament were underway. Leonard, Bouncer, and Stampede managed to get through the first round of the competition thanks to a forfeit. Turns out the scheduled competition, all of whom were long past retirement age, didn’t realize the tournament was the same evening as Movie Night. And Movie Night always had free popcorn, which was more than could be said for the tournament.
Their second opponents never made it into the stadium. In their excitement, one of the competitors activated her power of disorientation, which resulted in the other team members wandering off despite her efforts to round them up in time to compete.
Now Leonard found himself standing in the center of the arena flanked by his new partners. The crowd cheered raucously, although whether it was for their victory, or their defeat, was hard to tell. Either way, it was still intimidating, and Leonard found himself more than a little nervous.
Abruptly, the crowd became even louder. Leonard understood why: their opponents for this round, four in total, were entering the arena from the far end. As they got closer, he saw Bouncer grimace.
“What is it?” Leonard asked.
“I know those guys,” he replied.
“So do I,” Stampede volunteered. “Except for the one in the cloak. Anyway, it’s not good.”
“Hey, look,” shouted one of them. “It’s Beach Ball.”
“And Dr. Moolittle,” laughed another.
Leonard turned to his partners, perplexed. “I thought you said –“
Bouncer answered. “Yeah, we have history.”
The two groups walked towards each other, one with confidence and the other with something that would never be confused with confidence. They met in the center of the grounds.
Leonard had no idea what the protocol was. Do I shake hands? Start battling? Scratch my nose? Wait. Why is my nose so itchy? It’s really, really itchy. In fact, it’s maddening.
As Leonard desperately tried to relieve the itch, he noticed that his partners were having the same issue.
“Not so fast, Scratch,” said one of Leonard’s soon-to-be opponents to another. “Let’s get acquainted, first.”
Just like that, Leonard’s nose stopped itching.
The leader, looking ordinary in jeans and a faded t-shirt, addressed Leonard directly. “I’m called Prankster. You’ll find out why soon enough. The guy on my right is Scratch. You already had a sample of what he does. And this is Skipper,” he said, gesturing to a young woman who was hopping around while whirling a jump rope impossibly fast.
“We already know these two clowns,” Prankster continued, acknowledging Bouncer and Stampede. “Who are you?”
Leonard tried to appear confident as he announced himself. He had come up with a new name for the occasion. “I’m Combine.”
“Combine?” laughed Prankster. “Like farm equipment? What do you do? Make hay? This is too perfect.”
Another failed attempt to come up with an appropriate alias, Leonard thought. Why is it so hard?
“Who’s that?” Leonard asked, pointing towards a smallish figure standing off to the side in a dark, full-length cloak with hood. It was unusual to see anyone other than a first-tier in anything resembling a costume. Second-tiers and scrubs couldn’t afford them.
“You don’t want to meet her,” Prankster cautioned with a slight shiver. “Anyway, we’re going to be more than enough for you, Farm Boy. Don’t worry, though. This should be quick.”
And quick it was.
When the scoreboard clock signified ten seconds before the match was to start, Pranskter and his team began to step back, apparently getting into a predetermined formation. Except for their cloaked accomplice, who simply stood still.
For their part, Leonard and his team looked blankly at each other right up until the bellow of the crowd signified that the match was on. Leonard called to Stampede and Bouncer to move closer together.
“We’ll have a better chance if we’re close enough for me to reach both of you. Otherwise, I can’t merge your abilities.”
He was promptly ignored.
Stampede was rolling on the ground, having succumbed to an itching frenzy instigated by Scratch. Bouncer, on the other hand, launched himself towards a stadium wall, and to his credit, caromed with significant velocity towards Prankster. Before he could make impact, Skipper effortlessly capered between them and struck Bouncer with the wooden handle of her jump rope, knocking him to the pitch, where he lay stunned.
“Stampede!” Leonard didn’t know what to do, so he shouted hazy, unhelpful instructions instead. “Move! Do something! Cows!”
Stampede only looked back helplessly, later explaining that even if he could overcome Scratch’s onslaught, there was only one dairy cow in the area, and it was locked in a cage at a petting zoo on the other side of the city.
Reacting more than thinking, Leonard made a run towards Bouncer, but immediately fell flat on his face. Somehow his shoelaces had been tied together. He looked up to see Pranskter laughing at him.
“I told you it would be quick.”
Throughout the entire affair, which according to the stadium clock, lasted less than a minute, the figure in the cloak never even moved.
August 17, 2023
Short Story Serial: Fourth Installment
It was opening night of the big contest – “Tournament of Heroes,” to be precise. Kicks would have laughed at that, Leonard thought. She would have called it “Auditions for Underpaid, Sacrificial Lambs.”
Leonard had found two willing partners in Chance’s waiting room. One said he was a bouncer and the other was pretty vague, mumbling something about animal control. Since they were the only two willing to team up, Leonard didn’t press for more information. He also didn’t think to arrange any practice time, so here they were, standing outside the entrance to the stadium that would serve as the contest grounds, and he had no idea how this new team was going to work.
“Um, I’m thinking we should at least know about each other’s abilities before we go in there,” suggested Leonard as crowds of excited spectators filed into the arena. It looked like it was going to be a packed venue.
“Yeah, sure. I’m Bouncer,” offered the shorter and rounder of Leonard’s new partners. “And I, well, I bounce.”
“You mean like those guys who keep people in line at bars and nightclubs?” Leonard asked, hoping that was the case. They needed a little muscle, he thought, although Bouncer didn’t look particularly strong.
“No,” Bouncer paused long enough for it to be uncomfortable. “More like a basketball.”
“Ah,” was all Leonard could muster. “Well, I imagine that could be disruptive.”
“What about you?” Leonard inquired of the other member of the band. “I remember you mentioning animal control. Does that mean wild animals do what you tell them? Like lions? We could use something like that.”
“Not exactly,” said the tall and lanky third member of the group, which was followed by another uncomfortable pause.
“Then, what? Exactly?” pressed Bouncer.
“It’s only one kind of animal, and they’re not really wild.”
“Go on,” encouraged Leonard.
“Cows.”
“Cows?”
“Dairy cows, actually. That’s why I’m called Stampede.”
It seemed like there was going to be no end to uncomfortable pauses this night.
Leonard felt compelled to point out the obvious. “Dairy cows don’t stampede.”
“They just kind of meander,” added Bouncer.
Leonard was beginning to understand why Chance told him it was going to be hard to cash in on his abilities, especially since it was also apparent that this team, himself included, fit the classic description of a scrub.
Stampede was starting to feel defensive, so he put the spotlight on Leonard. “Remind us of what you do again?”
“I merge abilities. So, in our case the result would be –”
“Bouncing cows?” Stampede guessed. “Seriously?”
“That’s one possibility,” acknowledged Leonard. “The other would be that Bouncer would, umm, how do I put this?”
“I’d what?” demanded Bouncer, who didn’t think he was going to like the answer.
“You might develop a taste for alfalfa,” admitted Leonard. “I can never be sure which way it’s going to go.”
Leonard had found two willing partners in Chance’s waiting room. One said he was a bouncer and the other was pretty vague, mumbling something about animal control. Since they were the only two willing to team up, Leonard didn’t press for more information. He also didn’t think to arrange any practice time, so here they were, standing outside the entrance to the stadium that would serve as the contest grounds, and he had no idea how this new team was going to work.
“Um, I’m thinking we should at least know about each other’s abilities before we go in there,” suggested Leonard as crowds of excited spectators filed into the arena. It looked like it was going to be a packed venue.
“Yeah, sure. I’m Bouncer,” offered the shorter and rounder of Leonard’s new partners. “And I, well, I bounce.”
“You mean like those guys who keep people in line at bars and nightclubs?” Leonard asked, hoping that was the case. They needed a little muscle, he thought, although Bouncer didn’t look particularly strong.
“No,” Bouncer paused long enough for it to be uncomfortable. “More like a basketball.”
“Ah,” was all Leonard could muster. “Well, I imagine that could be disruptive.”
“What about you?” Leonard inquired of the other member of the band. “I remember you mentioning animal control. Does that mean wild animals do what you tell them? Like lions? We could use something like that.”
“Not exactly,” said the tall and lanky third member of the group, which was followed by another uncomfortable pause.
“Then, what? Exactly?” pressed Bouncer.
“It’s only one kind of animal, and they’re not really wild.”
“Go on,” encouraged Leonard.
“Cows.”
“Cows?”
“Dairy cows, actually. That’s why I’m called Stampede.”
It seemed like there was going to be no end to uncomfortable pauses this night.
Leonard felt compelled to point out the obvious. “Dairy cows don’t stampede.”
“They just kind of meander,” added Bouncer.
Leonard was beginning to understand why Chance told him it was going to be hard to cash in on his abilities, especially since it was also apparent that this team, himself included, fit the classic description of a scrub.
Stampede was starting to feel defensive, so he put the spotlight on Leonard. “Remind us of what you do again?”
“I merge abilities. So, in our case the result would be –”
“Bouncing cows?” Stampede guessed. “Seriously?”
“That’s one possibility,” acknowledged Leonard. “The other would be that Bouncer would, umm, how do I put this?”
“I’d what?” demanded Bouncer, who didn’t think he was going to like the answer.
“You might develop a taste for alfalfa,” admitted Leonard. “I can never be sure which way it’s going to go.”
Green eggs and spam
Blatant self-promotion, unfounded opinions, and a story or two
- Rob Roy O'Keefe's profile
- 8 followers
