Rebecca Scolnick's Blog, page 14

Synchromantics, in nugget form

What’s up, swimmers?!

Earlier this week, I told my new therapist that for as rebellious as I may be—I’m queer, I love a cold email, I generally do what I want, you know?—I’m horribly scared of getting in trouble.

Maybe it’s due to lingering religious trauma, or growing up with a short-fused father, but the idea that I will mess up to the point of punishment actually plays quite a large role in my adult life. And while it may not ultimately stop me from making my own decisions, or doing what I want to do, it absolutely zaps up my precious mental and emotional energy.

What would it be like to just take action without overthinking it beforehand?

What would it feel like to make a decision without fearing the consequences?

Are there any cis white men reading this right now that could clue me in? (Kidding, kind of.)

Now, obviously I don’t think there’s anything wrong with making well thought out, conscientious decisions. But not every decision is being made at the gallows with a hooded, and armed, hangman standing by. My every move isn’t really being judged by God, Santa Clause, or the IRS.

However, by choosing to focus on the perceived problem, what I’m really doing is diverting my attention from the solution. And in some instances, there isn’t even a problem or a solution—my brain is just making that shit up! Then again, once I think and feel that there’s a “problem,” I also bring said problem into existence…

In the first week of February, we learned that positivity and wholesome intentions have the ability to influence and change our minds, as well as the very shape, depth, and inner workings of our brains.

Today, I’m going to share a very simple, hilarious, and infectious method of keeping your mind on making yourself become what you want to be, all by working with the natural law of Synchromantics.

“Last Week on SITS—”

Here’s what you’ve missed this month on The Year of Yearning:

First,

I wrote that shapeshifting is the most divine of all states of being. While I still believe this to be true, I also acknowledge there’s a cost to shedding skins.

I introduced our Mentors of the Month: The Hanged One with Shapeshift, and the King of Swords with You Are Our God. These cards have asked that for February, we a) commit to the radical belief that anything is possible, and b) be gentle with ourselves as we bend reality.

We listened to Pea the Feary, who said, “When you have a desire for something, that desire is also existing in the external reality somewhere. What’s happening in your internal world is also happening in external reality!”

I posited that the magical and mystical process of changing our mind is the foundation of all other physical or behavioral changes.

We acknowledged that we are sensitive little creatures who need a lot of positivity to offset adverse experiences, so we have to set intentions, recite mantras, cast spells, and engage in all of the other steps of the Buddha’s Eightfold Path to end suffering.

Rick Hanson, PH.D. and Richard Mendius, MD. told us how brain science can be used to prove Buddhist practices are positive for mental health.

We remembered that we have what it takes to create a life we love because we have done so before, and we will do so again. How do we know this? You are God. I am God. We are God. There is no other.

Then,

I wrote you a love letter, and shared that my tarot books are now open on Moonlight, a space to connect with other tarot lovers and readers!

I shared that my bratty brain is still keeping me from some movement and recovery goals, but that my daily walks with Gus have proven fruitful. Specifically because one led me to an estate sale where I made a particularly interesting find that we’ll be digging into today!

I mused on why it’s a real shame that we relegate the function of the mind to just logic and reason, and shared a list of things I was loving on last week, which included merch from astrologer Diana Rose Harper, food for thought from writer meg jones wall, and what comes after Octavia E. Butler’s famous quote, “God is Change.”

To read this Love Letter in full, as well as continue on to the second lesson of February, which dives into a radical book on energetics published in the 1950s, please subscribe to be a paid pal! Thank you for your support! I love you! xx

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LOVE LETTER #3: When Brains Get Bratty

What’s up, swimmers?! Happy New Moon in Aquarius! Everyone I trust is saying this one’s a big one to really turn over that new leaf, banish self-doubt, connect with your people, and stay open to receive divine opportunities!

I’m crossing my everything for us all.

Today, I’m here to share about a magical trip to an estate sale that brought me/us an invaluable—and hilarious—resource that we’re going to dig into next week.

But first,

Have you ever wanted a space to play around with a digital tarot deck, sneak away to a private room to do readings with friends, and even book with a tarot professional?

Well, Moonlight is the place to do all of that, and more. It’s user-friendly, in its early stages, and the rad folks behind the scenes are deliciously devoted to its growth. So if you’ve been looking for a witchy alternative to social media, this is it!

I’m also now offering readings exclusively through Moonlight!

If you’re interested in slinging cards and/or chatting numbers with me, you can book with me online through my profile (pictured below). My calendar is open on Wednesdays and Fridays from 12-5pm PST, and the exchange is $75 for 30 minutes and $150 for an hour. I’m also offering personalized tarot lessons (during which we can also talk about numerology, astrology, etc.) at $200 for the hour.

I can’t wait to connect with you there!

My profile on Moonlight, a new online spot to sling cards!

Book a Reading with me on Moonlight

Now, let’s head over to that estate sale…

Longing Lovers,

Currently, my brain is being a brat.

Blame my Mars in Taurus in the 6th house, but I can be incredibly stubborn. This has been tricky to deal with as I build new habits and take actions that are “good” for me, only to be met with a steady stream of, “HELL NO! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DO IT!” from my brain.

I’ve hit a point in my recovery where the poison has left my body and I’m no longer in an active state of stress. This is good! This is progress. And also, this has left me to clean up the detritus; the taught aftermath of muscles that had already been through a drastic, pandemic-era change, were wholly underutilized, and then diseased. The wound wasn’t my fault, but my healing is my responsibility.

(This is a reference to a quote I attribute to Denice Frohman: “The wound is not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.” There are many versions of this sentiment out there, but this one’s my favorite.)

Thank goodness for my dog, Gus, who needs to go out for a walk each day.

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How do we change our god(damn) minds?! 🌀💫

Welcome to February!

What’s up, swimmers?! We’ve survived January. No matter how you fared, take a moment here to close your eyes, take a deep breath, maybe put a hand on your heart or forehead, and give yourself a fucking break, my dudes.

Mary Oliver wrote,

it is a serious thing / just to be alive / on this fresh morning / in this broken world.

Thank you for being here with me, wherever and whenever this finds you.

Everything has felt so loud lately. Noisy. Inside, outside, online, offline. Just this constant barrage of sound that’s just above the pitch of white noise, so it never blends. It just makes your brain feel fuzzy and disastrous. Or maybe I’m just feeling the side effects of plugging back into my center just enough to have to engage with all of those feelings and sensations I’ve been too scared to sit with.

There’s been a lot of good noise lately about working towards the world we want. The world we need. The one we cannot wait for any longer. Ceasefire now.

This kind of collective conversation is deep, imaginative work. It’s world-building. It’s donning our dreaming caps, and daring to discover what’s just beyond the plane of practical possibilities. Each of us. Together. It’s holy work. I am reminded of Octavia E. Butler, who wrote that “God is change,” and buoyed by her notion that shapeshifting is the most divine of all states of being. The in-between, the liminal. That which is not one thing anymore, but isn’t yet another. To cross this bridge, as one, is the most sacred of efforts.

But this work also takes focus, strength, courage, and chutzpah!

Last month, we learned that burnout has far-reaching effects on the brain, the body, and the community at-large. Kevin Munhall told us that a sense of safety is key to practicing mindfulness and regulating our nervous systems. We sat with the tender truth that healing takes time, but we also feasted on a buffet of actions we can take every single day to build momentum and regain our strength.

This month, we’re focusing on how to actually make our desired changes, so that we may not only feel better in our own lives, but also be able to show up more effectively and sustainably in our circles, our orbits, our networks, and beyond. So that we may be able to engage further in the deep, holy work.

And our mentors this month are coming in hot with a pivotal point—

The most important step to making change in your life is to change your mind .

ICYMI: We’re doing things differently around here this year at SITS!

The Year of Yearning will consist of twelve topics of study, one for each month of the year. Every Friday, you’ll receive a little lesson or a love letter. The first installment—which you’re reading now—will be sent to all subscribers, but the full versions of the love letters and the second lesson will be for paid pals only.

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FEBRUARY 2024: Top Row - (left to right) The Game of Thrones Tarot by Craig Cross and Liz Dean, Postcards from the Liminal Space. Bottom Row - (left to right) The Game of Thrones Tarot, The Morgan’s TarotOur cards for February 2024 are…

12 - THE HANGED ONE with SHAPESHIFTER

THE KING OF SWORDS with YOU ARE OUR GOD

12 - The Hanged One

Keywords: a new or different perspective, surrender, contemplation, enlightenment, passion, sacrifice, letting go, discomfort, limbo, stagnation

Clearly we are not fully ready to emerge.

If that comes as a disappointment to you, I’m with you in that feeling.

Still, in true Hanged One fashion, there are many interpretations of this card. Some say this card tells us to pause. To reflect, to explore, to consider. Others insist that this archetype heralds action. But rather than going in the direction we’ve always gone, perhaps another method or map may get us farther, deeper, closer to our truth? Maybe the true meaning lies somewhere in the both/and?

Marcella Kroll’s The Dreamers Tarot renames this card Reflection (pictured below), which asks us to connect to the bat, which hangs upside down when resting. Bats have evolved in ways that have weakened their back legs and wings, so “a major advantage to hanging upside down is that bats do not need to generate lift to begin flight. They just drop out of their bed, open their wings and off they go.”1

This month, how might you perceive pauses as an opportunity to embody faith in right timing? Can you consider the aspects of yourself that seem unfavorable might offer you a fortuitous readiness when that right timing finally comes?

THE HANGED ONES/REFLECTION: (left to right) The Fifth Spirit Tarot by Charlie Claire Burgess, The Dreamer’s Tarot by Marcella Kroll, That 90’s Tarot by Kristi Prokopiak.

Some other meaty interpretations to sit with as we embody the SHAPESHIFTER:

In Tarot For the Hard Work, Maria Minnis writes, “Perfect timing is rare, so the Hanged One doesn’t expect to act gracefully or flawlessly. The work is often rough, messy, and nonlinear, and this devotion compels us to get our hands dirty.”

Cassandra Snow, author of Queering the Tarot, says, “The card can be about restriction: to sacrifice something you want now for more success further down the line, to make your point, or to further your cause.”

In the guidebook for Dali’s Universal Tarot, Johannes Fiebig tells us, “It is important to re-evaluate your own belief system… If you have found your belief system to be true, do not hesitate to surrender to it completely. A meaningful belief and deliberate passion are the greatest of all emotions.”

Plus, some eight year observations:

In our 2024 overview, I wrote about kinks as intimate pieces of self-knowledge and desire. The Hanged One is an ally in any exploratory actions you want to take this month. Consider how the card describes the experience of stretching, of being restrained, of breathing through discomfort, of surrender and submission, and how its artwork often depicts a figure in some sort of bondage.

A personal favorite comes from The Fifth Spirit Tarot by Charlie Claire Burgess (pictured above), in which the Hanged One is suspended underwater and cradled in a net of intricate ropes that resemble shibari, a Japanese style of binding. As quoted in Cosmopolitan, sex expert Julieta Chiara says that “shibari’s appeal is layered and can be almost spiritual: ‘It’s the erotic nature, blend of pleasure and pain or restraint, and the immense connection and trust that is built between the rigger (the one tying) and the rope bottom (the one getting tied).’”2

Outside of the bedroom, it’s up to you to determine who’s the rigger to your rope bottom. The spiritual path can often leave us feeling stuck or stagnant, left to scream at some guy in the sky and wait for an answer that isn’t promised. The Hanged One offers stress relief, wondering if you’d like to be a willing participant instead? This month, see if you can relax until discomfort becomes pleasure.

In that article on eight (8) energy, I also said that the line between sex and art is fine fine fine, baby. Few would know about that better than Chloë Sevigny, who’s pictured above as The Hanged One in That 90’s Tarot by Kristi Prokopiak. In 2003, Sevigny starred in the film The Brown Bunny, which features a scene where she performs unsimulated, oral sex on co-star and director, Vincent Gallo. She was both praised and chastised for her choice, and it was quite the controversy when the film screened at Cannes!

She, however, didn’t seem phased by the dramatics: "It's a shame people write so many things when they haven't seen [the film]. When you see [it], it makes more sense. It's an art film. It should be playing in museums.”3

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The King of Swords

Keywords: mental focus, concentration, discernment, logical expansion, Philsopher-king, intelligence, truthful authority, leadership, communicative

The King of Swords is a strong card of mental acuity and speaking truth to power. When we embody the Kings, we’re stepping into our divine authority, and tuning into our innate, and practiced, qualities—the ones that allow us to be great leaders, mentors, and models. There is responsibility in this embodying this role.

In Finding the Fool: a tarot journey to radical transformation, meg jones wall writes, “The King of Swords asks us to utilize our intellect, insights, and observational skills to think beyond existing limits…” What a magical quality for a King to have—the cunning and compassion to wield the sword of reason, logic, and inventiveness before brute force. Perhaps that’s why Marcella Kroll renamed the Kings, the Dreamers.

THE KING/DREAMER OF SWORDS: (left to right) That 90’s Tarot (Aesop Rock) by Kristi Prokopiak, The Dreamer’s Tarot by Marcella Kroll, Fifth Spirit Tarot by Charlie Claire Burgess.

The King of Swords rules over the dodgy dominion of the mind—the most fickle of gatekeepers; sphinxes with the keys to nirvana, if you can only solve the riddle!—and this month, it stands tall beside a powerful and peculiar friend: YOU ARE OUR GOD.

“There is none other,” says the guidebook of Morgan’s Tarot about this funky card. “The kingdom of heaven is within, and you can find yourself ever anew in the universe.” Sounds a lot like the gnostic concept of the divine spark, huh? The fragment of The Creator that lives within us all. And it’s this bit of cosmic dust that’s going to help us solve the mind’s riddle. But instead of providing us with an answer, YOU ARE OUR GOD says to become the one who writes the riddle.

The guidebook also offers: “However, as god you are part of humanity. Thus, the Buddhists encourage infinite compassion for all living beings.”

That includes you. Let’s be gentle with ourselves as we bend reality, okay?

FEBRUARY 2024: CHANGING OUR GOD(DAMN) MINDS 🌀💫

Last month, I listened to a lecture on Creative Energetics by Pea the Feary. The whole thing blew my fucking mind, but I especially loved how she explained the concept that reality is a mirror of our desires.

“When you have a desire for something,” she said, “that desire is also existing in the external reality somewhere. What’s happening in your internal world is also happening in external reality!”

If that seems a little too good to be true, or like some woo woo bullshit, you’re a) probably not alone in that thought, and b) not accounting for the magical and mystical process that is changing our mind, which does seem to be the foundation of all other physical or behavioral changes.

In a couple of weeks, we’re going to look at a few proven methods to making changes, but today, I want to hang out at the intersection of Buddhism and brain chemistry. There, I hope to illustrate that not only do we have the ability to influence our minds, but that through that process, we can also change the very shape, depth, and inner workings of our brains.

Now, here’s the part where I try to make literal brain science digestible…

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Can positivity really change our minds?

Buddhism is the study and practice of the teachings of the Buddha, who was born Prince Siddhartha. After venturing out into the world and feeling horror over the suffering that he witnessed, the prince faced his own mortality for the first time in his life, and sat in contemplation, underneath a tree, for forty days and forty nights. When he returned to the town, he did so as the Buddha.

Buddhist philosophy is built on a numerically pleasing foundation of Four Noble Truths:

All existence is suffering.

The cause of suffering is desire , or craving.

The end of suffering can be found through the end of craving.

The path to the end of craving, and therefore suffering, is an Eightfold Path:

Right View

Right Resolve

Right Speech

Right Action

Right Livelihood

Right Effort

Right Mindfulness

Right Concentration4

At first glance, these principles seem quite cynical. But upon further examination, they’re just speaking to what Pea was talking about in her Creative Energetics course—our mental relationship to the mirror of reality.

Take the first step of the Eightfold Path, Right View, which can be explained as the true understanding of how reality and suffering are intertwined. By the principles of energetics, when we desire something, that reality then exists out in the world. It’s the distance between where we are and what we want that causes suffering.

The good news is that there are actions to take to close the gap. The bad news is that we first have to believe that the reality we want already exists. We have to trust that getting what we want is possible! This takes brave, and oftentimes blind, faith, and we humans aren’t very good at this. We are sensitive little creatures who need a lot of positivity to offset adverse experiences, so we have to set intentions, recite mantras, cast spells, and engage in all of the other steps of the Eightfold Path to end suffering.

The silver lining? Those things actually work!

In Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love & Wisdom, Rick Hanson, PH.D. and Richard Mendius, MD, use brain science to prove how Buddhist practices are positive for mental health. By breaking down the brain’s neuroaxis, which supports both intention setting and motivation, into four main levels, they also come to some interesting conclusions about brain function and positivity.

“The key is to have wholesome intentions without being attached to their results,” they write. “As you weave positive inclinations more deeply into the different levels of your brain, you increasingly push the Three Poisons [greed, hatred, and delusion] to the margins. It’s important to nurture good intentions at all levels of the neuroaxis—and to cultivate the strength to carry them out.”

The more we can engage with these actions, the more changes will occur in our brains, which will then make it easier to access these positive places in the future, so we won’t have to work so hard at constantly changing our minds!

And how do we know we can do it? WE ARE GOD. We’ve already done it, and we’ll do it again and again for the rest of time. Change, adaptation, adjustment, shapeshifting—it’s our most natural state of being and doing.

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Buddhism is considered one of the world’s largest religions, but Buddhists don’t believe in God. Buddhist spirituality doesn’t attach itself to an object of worship at all, but rather an earthly interconnectedness, and a shared pursuit of happiness, joy, peace, love, and contentedness. Each of us are holy, and we all contribute to the holy work, regardless of who is or isn’t watching over us.

In his aptly-titled book, How to Change Your Mind, which explores the intersection of psychedelics and mental health, Michael Pollan writes about this agnostic attitude, concluding that a belief in the divine isn’t even necessary to put Buddhist-like principles into practice.

“You go deep enough or far out enough in consciousness and you will bump into the sacred. It’s not something we generate; it’s something out there waiting to be discovered. And this reliably happens to nonbelievers as well as believers.”5

If you’re still reading this, you probably believe in something, so your work this month is committing those beliefs in new and intentional ways; to make them so real in your life that you can’t help but take the next steps to getting what you want or going where you want to go.

How can you support your mental health this month? How are you engaging with positive intentions throughout your day to day? And how do we ensure that we’re going deep enough that our minds will aid us in the success of our goals, instead of standing in the way of them?

Just remember—you are God. I am God. We are God. There is no other.

To continue receiving The Year of Yearning in full, please sign up to be a paid subscriber! 💸

Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca1

Why do bats sleep upside down? by Amy Edwards for La Trobe University.

2

What Is Shibari? Welcome to Your Beginner’s Guide to This Advanced Form of Rope Bondage by Taylor Andrews and Gigi Engle for Cosmopolitan.

3

Sevigny explains graphic sex scene in new film by Michael Euler for USA Today.

4

What Is the Eightfold Path? by Lion’s Roar Staff for Lion’s Roar: Buddhist Wisdom for Our Time

5

The 6 Stages of Change: The Transtheoretical, or Stages of Change, Model by Kendra Cherry, MSEd for Very Well Mind.

On Disrupting our Habits with Kevin Munhall

What’s up, swimmers?! Bet you didn’t expect to see me in your inbox today!

Throughout January on The Year of Yearning, we’ve been exploring burnout. First, we looked at definitions, statistics, and what burnout might mean conceptually in our lives through the lens of The Fool and the Nine of Wands. Then, we talked about what in the self-care hell we can do to recover from it. And, of course, I wrote you not one, but two Love Letters along the way.

I hope that the month has been enlightening, supportive, and has made you feel less alone in the experience of being burnt to a sweet, little crisp.

Today, to wrap things up, I have even surprised myself by bringing back the podcast aspect of this space! I thought those days were on, but best laid plans, and all—here we are! And I can’t think of a person more worthy of listening to in this moment than my dear friend Kevin Munhall, founder of Habit Disruption.

Kevin Munhall, founder of Habit Disruption

“Avoiding stress is impossible. The only answer is improving HOW you respond to stress, mentally, physically and at a nervous system level.”

- Kevin Munhall

Kevin is a Stress, Breath & Somatic Educator who helps people live more intentional, resilient lives. His clients range from CEOs & Finance Executives to Crossfit Coaches & Broadway Performers because these stress skills are universal. He has also run events for WeWork, Avocado Mattress, Fleet Feet, Sikich, Canyon Ranch, Touchcare Health, Dvora Properties, The University of Michigan, Vassar College, Howard University,  and more. Formerly a Broadway dancer, he brings the stress & burnout tools he used to survive 8 shows a week to anyone looking to thrive during their 5 day work week. 

In this gorgeous conversation, Kevin and I talk about burnout, building and sustaining a sense of safety as the gateway to nervous system regulation, and the practices that he uses in his work with others, as well as what he’s working to implement personally in 2024.

If you’d like to connect with Kevin, check out his website, HabitDisruption.com or find him on Instagram @habit_disruption.

swimming in the soup is a reader-supported publication. to continue receiving The Year of Yearning in full, please sign up to be a paid pal!

Some of my favorite moments include:

“Burnout is way easier to prevent than to recover from! Recovery takes forever. And prevention is, you just have to be proactive. Because if you only wait until those warning signs are screaming at you, we've gone too long. We've just gone too long… What's really tricky is that if you are not used to tuning in, you aren't going to notice the warning signs.”

“The definition of [burnout] is only talking about chronic, workplace stress that is unsuccessfully managed…You cannot independently talk about the stress at work without realizing how that’s showing up in the rest of your life. You cannot talk about that stress, but not talk about the stress of being a parent, or the stress of having a loved one who’s sick, or losing someone, or any of these different things…”

“Can you find one thing that is actual rest, even if it is for 10 minutes? What that means is something that doesn’t have a stimulus… At first, it’s gonna be very challenging to get yourself to do it, and you might not like the feeling… But you can trust that over time, that resistance is teaching you that that is important for your healing. Because without ever truly resting, we’re always gonna be just barely getting by in this kind of chronic, low-grade, heightened state of arousal, unsustainable, energy-intensive state of being.”

But there are so many practical pointers within. Let me know which moments stood out to you!

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Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca

LOVE LETTER #2: Let's Roar, Rage, and Roister

If you’re enjoying swimming in the soup, please consider becoming a paid pal to a) support the work I’m doing this year, b) receive my love (letter) in full, now and moving forward, and c) guarantee yourself access to the entirety of The Year of Yearning.

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Longing Lovers,

Yesterday, the moon was full in the sign of Leo, the lion.

Leo rules the Strength card, the eighth key of the Major Arcana, which typically features a lion or other fierce animal friend. It’s also our card for 2024 (2+0+2+4 = 8). For many more reasons, this lunation is a juicy one. Also known as the Wolf Moon, it's a great moon for howling/roaring/screaming it out, ya know?

This moon is a beautiful opportunity to touch in with your soft power, the part of you that takes action despite feeling afraid to do so. Its connection to the number eight, which flipped on its side is the infinity symbol, reminds us that we're always supported in the most ferocious cycles of life, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. It’s also a gorgeous moment to show yourself compassion, to release shame, guilt, and anything else that’s standing in the way of your heart, your spark, and your life, and to engage in practices that regulate the nervous system. As the Many Moons Planner by Sarah Faith Gottesdiener says about this moon, "it's okay if you have to cry, just do it in a bubble bath."

Another of Sarah’s quotes that feels potent right now, especially as we wrap up a month of exploring burnout? “I WANT TO FEEL ALIVE AGAIN!”

If you’re looking to work with this full moon, you’re not too late! In fact, the moon stays in Leo all day today, and is technically full into tomorrow as well.

Supportive actions to gift yourself over the next couple of days include:

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Six Ways to Banish Burn-Out (Or at least get a good start)

What’s up, swimmers?!

I feel like cutting to the tender chase today.

You’re about to read an article that I wrote to you. It’s going to offer suggestions from experts on how one could recover from burnout. I’m going to nerd out a bit about etymology because I can. And throughout, I am going to implore you to take action, in teeny-tiny, itty-bitty, bite-sized ways, in the here and now, today.

However, I cannot promise you with absolute certainty that reading this weekly installment of The Year of Yearning, and putting effort into doing the things it invites you to consider, will make you feel any better than you do right now.

I have, like a damn fool, already today engaged in three of the six “cures” that we’re going to discuss. Two others feel like they could still be on the menu—the day is young still. Every moment is a fresh, new opportunity to do something radically different than what you’re doing right now. And I do not feel any better.

But I am writing this to you! This is an action that I am taking today, and it makes me happy do it—to craft this—for you, for me, for us. Whoever you are, at whatever intersection of life and liminality this is finding you at. Please believe me when I say that I am there alongside you, at my own crossroads, and that I am guilty of every behavior that I am going to caution you against today. That’s life?

A self-portrait.

Luckily, behaviors are changeable. It’s not an easy process. It takes time, commitment, energy, and mental and emotional focus. It takes a solid why. Perseverance, patience. Compassion. (Spoiler alert: The Hanged One is our card for February.) These are all words that vibrate to the number eight, the ruling number of 2024. This work is right on time. It is supported this year, as are you.

I saw a post on Instagram the other day, in which a cloud of philosophical concepts, references and phrases surround a trio of open-mouthed men with the caption, THE 20-SOMETHING YEAR OLD THINKERS. A real drawing you can hear. One of the floating examples is Plato’s Cave, which ouch, direct hit, I fucking love Plato’s Cave. So at the risk of being labeled loud and basic—

In Plato’s story, of the one who escapes the cave of ignorance, there are multiple points in which the seeker suffers great pain. Adjustment periods, harsh realities, a return to the darkness. Not to ruin the ending for anyone, but the seeker dies at end! At the hands of the very people they were hoping to enlighten. The Buddha, who’s on the lesson plan for next month, also teaches that suffering is a promised part of life. It’s the first of his Noble Truths. All other Buddhist teachings stem from this bruised place of revolutionary acceptance. Stick around, we’ll get into it.

So this is our pep talk. It’s our compassionate hug. It’s our gathering in the dark on the floor of our respective closets, or between the worn-in sheets of our beds.

For it is in this void space that we will begin to get ourselves unstuck.

“Last Week on SITS—”

Here’s what you’ve missed this month on The Year of Yearning:

First,

I wrote that I was “kinda feeling this year already,” and while I was honest that I didn’t fully trust it—how quickly the turntables.

I introduced our Mentors of the Month: The Fool with Reset, and the Nine of Wands with Don’t Worry, You Can Do No Wrong. These cards have asked that for January, we pause and reflect on the soup we’re still swimming in.

We turned to Princess turned Resistance General Leia Organa for inspiration: “Hope is like the sun. If you only believe it when you see it you'll never make it through the night.”

Benjamin Goss, MBA | Fractional CSO & Sales Expert told us that “more than 62% of employees feeling burned out. That’s more than half of workers in any given workplace!”

A very correct reader commented that I had glossed over a full year of the pandemic, citing three years when it’s really been four. I became even sadder than when I wrote the original mistake. Four. Whole. Years.

Psychology Today alerted us to the fact that burnout doesn’t just make us tired, but it increases the chance for other physical ailments like “headaches, fatigue, heartburn, and other gastrointestinal symptoms, as well as increased potential for alcohol, drug, or food misuse.”

I shared the bad news “that rest and time-off isn’t going to help us recover from the marrow-deep exhaustion and fatigue that we feel as a result of burn-out.” But I promised to go into some options that may help on January 19! *checks calendar* Hey wait, that’s today!

Finally, I posited “that if we have any chance of recovering from deep, spiritual burn-out, a good place to start is by reconnecting with our own divine spark.” This is referencing to a Gnostic belief that within every single person, there is a fragment of The One, Source energy, The Creator, etc, which they refer to as the divine spark.

Then,

I wrote you a love letter, and asked a question that made me feel silly and unworthy the first time someone asked me—How is your heart today?

I screamed from the top of my digital lungs about Maria Minnis’s new release, Tarot for the Hard Work. Now that I think of it, Maria might’ve been the one to ask me how my heart was!

We talked about making a Joy List, a present-tense practice of attention and gratitude that has even been medically reviewed and suggested!

I shared my own Joy List, which included my new favorite blorbos, a link to a neat 2024 Sigil Affirmation Generator, a very cute picture of Gus sleeping, and a shout-out to the spiciest boutique for book lovers on the interwebs.

To read this Love Letter in full, as well as continue on to the second lesson of January that offers next steps for moving from burnt out to neutral at best, please subscribe to be a paid pal! Thank you for your support! I love you! xx

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LOVE LETTER #1: Making a Joyful Effort

What’s up, swimmers?! Happy New Moon in Capricorn, which some say is the official start of the year. If—and truly it is if—you choose to observe the passing of time in this way, I’m hoping that the next few days are rest-full, grounding and illuminating for you!

Below is the first of many Love Letters that I will write to you this year.

If you haven’t yet read the first installment of The Year of Yearning, titled What can the Fool and the Nine of Wands teach us about burn-out?, please do take a peek, and then perhaps even share it with a friend or five?

Then, please consider becoming a paid pal—you’ll be a) supporting the work I’m doing this year, b) receiving my love (letter) in full now and moving forward, and c) you’ll guarantee yourself access to the rest of the Year of Yearning musings.

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Longing Lovers,

How is your heart today?

Mine is mostly besotted with fictional gays who’ve rewired my brain and stirred up my blood. But it is also broken over continued violence, beating in a measured, consistent refrain for personal and collective healing, and bursting for my beautiful beloveds, plant, animal and human, alike.

Speaking of—My dear, dear friend Maria Minnis, who was gracious enough to speak with me last year about near-death experiences, new religious commitments, and the Naked Tarot Newsletter, released a book this past week! And it’s a gorgeous and important addition to any witch’s bookshelf.

To reiterate my glowing endorsement: “Tarot for the Hard Work is not only a resource itself, but a collection of resources, offering additional reading materials, voices to listen to, ideas to germinate on, historical and present-day information to research and learn, and tangible ways to put this work into action in your community. With this incredible book in your hands, there are no excuses as to why you cannot engage with antiracism in every aspect of your life. These pages will change you if you let them.”

Order Your Copy Here!

I am so flipping proud of Maria and I cannot wait to watch the ripples grow as this incredibly potent spell weaves its way through the world. Plus, her Naked Tarot Newsletter, which you can sign up for on her website, is the perfect portal into 2024’s eight year. It’s vulnerable, it’s kinky, and it always comes with a recommended Dildo of the Month. What’s not to love?!

When my copy of Tarot for the Hard Work finally arrived—on its pub date, of course!—I sat down with the chapter on the Fool to see what insights I could glean for us this month as we reset in the void. Of course, there was so much to chew on, but one thing that stuck out to me was Maria’s observation that the Fool can “have a strong appetite for life.”

Burn-out seems to be on the brain for a lot of us these days. I’ve seen discussions about it in group chats, multiple burn-out based workshops advertised in my digital sphere, and “Stress leads to burnout” was even a line of dialogue in a terrible, Christmas movie I watched, guest-starring celebrity chef Bobby Flay.

In the pit of despair, amongst the ashes of burn-out, we might not feel too hungry for much of anything. How could anyone eat at a time like this? However, none of us deserve to stay in this place of exhausted ennui. We deserve to be foolishly full.

In order to revive ourselves—more strategies comin’ atcha next week!—it is imperative that we reconnect to our joy, our thirst, and that which we love. No matter how buried or busheled they may be. No matter how shriveled our hearts may feel.

You’re in there still. I promise you are.

Mary Oliver, our Patron Saint of Paying Attention, teaches us that “attention is the beginning of devotion.” The Fool is apt to agree, reminding us that in order to move forward from a place of reckless hope, we must take the small steps that will eventually add up to the whole damn road. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being where you are, and as we’re reminded by our January oracle cards, Don’t worry, you can do no wrong. All actions are “good” actions.

Case in point: A few years ago, my pals started the practice of making Joy Lists.

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Updated Discord Link for Paid Pals!

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What can the Fool and the Nine of Wands teach us about burn-out?

Welcome to the Year of Yearning!

What’s up, swimmers?! We’re here! Some of us are queer! And I hope that we’re all ready to buckle up and take a new ride together this year!

Through what? Who knows. Time, and the tarot, will tell. But after a full year of feeling held at the starting block, while also being repeatedly punched in the face by life, I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s hoping for a gentler 2024. For more information on the numerological eight (8) year, check out my in-depth forecast.

Now, I have to be honest—I’m kinda feeling this year already. I don’t fully trust it, but I want to, because so far, magic has been tangible in many forms in my life. I’ve felt more playful and more hopeful than has felt accessible for a while. I’ve felt more spiritually connected than has felt safe since the summer. It’s been nice!

I’m really hoping the same blessings, or at least similar invitations into joy and awe, are showing up for you right now. If they’re not, if you’re sludging and trudging through a truly slow slog of a “new” year, wondering how one could even tell them apart when they’re all blurring together, I promise you that you’re in the right place at the right time, and the perfect place to read today’s lesson.

Numerology, which is simply the art and practice of decoding patterns and feeling into energetic rhythms, tells us that January of 2024 is a nine month (1+2+0+2+4 = 9)—the culmination, the wrap-up, the end. This year, it’s February 2024 (2+2+0+2+4 = 10) that will bring us actionable one energy to work with, which rules the start, the beginning, and the first steps towards the next.

But first, we’re going to pause and reflect on the soup we’re still swimming in.

ICYMI: We’re doing things differently around here this year at SITS!

The Year of Yearning will consist of twelve topics of study, one for each month of the year. Every Friday, you’ll receive a little lesson or a love letter. The first installment—which you’re reading now—will be sent to all subscribers, but the love letters and the second lesson will be for paid pals only.

These topics will be divined based on a three card spread: A Major Acana and a Minor Arcana from a 78-card tarot deck, and an Oracle card from either Postcards from the Liminal Space by Bakara Wintner, Christian Berry and Kaylee Christianson, or Morgan’s Tarot by Morgan Robbins.

I will be pulling the cards for each month on the New Moon and creating through the Full Moon, imbuing our lessons with lunar love and magic.

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JANUARY 2024: Top Row - The Dreamer’s Tarot by Marcella Kroll. Bottom Row (left to right) - Postcards from the Liminal Space, The Morgan’s TarotOur cards for January 2024 are…

0 - THE FOOL with RESET

THE NINE OF WANDS with DON'T WORRY, YOU CAN DO NO WRONG

Looking at our spread, I immediately heard the question: “When is it foolish to keep going?” This made perfect sense to me based on the cards at play, but if you’re not familiar with the tarot, let’s break these bad boys down a bit:

0 - The Fool

Keywords: new beginnings, optimism, innocence, possibility, surprises, imagination, leaps of faith, naivete, spontaneity, endless potential, inexperience, excitement, risk, reckless, the unknown

Charlie Claire Burgess, author of Radical Tarot, positions the Fool as “the radical who dreams creation.” In the guidebook for Dali’s Universal Tarot, Johannes Fiebig writes that zero, and therefore the Fool, is a role model. For Ash + Chess, creators of The Queer Tarot, the Fool asks, “What does your soul ache for?”

The Fool ushers us into a trickster January—a first month that holds the energy of the ending. Still, it’s message is clear: Here, now, in the time before time, it’s time to RESET. Those who can follow this jester’s message will find themselves laughing all the way to the proverbial, or literal, bank. After all, it is an eight year.

THE FOOLS: Center - The Dreamer’s Tarot by Marcella Kroll. Clockwise (from top) - The Queer Tarot by Ash + Chess, The Fifth Spirit Tarot by Charlie Claire Burgess, The Universal Tarot by Salvador Dali, The Game of Thrones Tarot by Craig Cross and Liz Dean, That 90’s Tarot by Kristi Prokopiak.

When given a value, the Fool stands beside the void-like zero, yet all of the above depictions of the Fool have two figures on them. Whether it’s a second self, an inner desire, a travel buddy for the road, a clown-like duo of chicks, or a fire-breathing dragon, the Fool is never alone. Valentin Tomberg, who likely authored of the anonymously written Meditations on the Tarot, also acknowledges the Fool’s numerical paradox, saying that it is “the alchemical work of the union of human wisdom, which is folly in the yes of God, with divine wisdom, which is folly in the eyes of man, in such a way that the result is not a double folly but rather a single wisdom which understands both that which is above and that which is below.”

The Fool doesn’t need to see the bigger picture to jump off the edge of the cliff, but that doesn’t mean it can’t access a higher perspective. Oftentimes, due to its willingness to buck the status quo, not to mention its propensity for laughing in the face of authority or fear, the Fool might actually be the wisest in the room.

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The Nine of Wands

Keywords: resilience, strength, perseverance, attentiveness, persistence, last push, final obstacle, stubbornness, courage, grit, fatigue, giving up, weariness, close to success

Dali’s Universal Tarot notes that the Nine of Wands says to “let go of all old instincts and presumptions.” In the guidebook to The Dreamer’s Tarot, Marcella Kroll writes that the Nine of Wands asks questions like, What is still in need of acknowledgment? What still needs to be processed before you can proceed? Kristi Prokopiak, who made That 90s Tarot, says that the Nine of Wands represents the compromises needed to integrate creative fire and action.

At the start of a new year, we may want to push forward with the mindset that the past is in the past, and we’re living for the present and the future, bayybeee. But how can the Nine of the Wands, and the practice of sankofa, an Akan term that’s literal translation is “it is not taboo to fetch what is at risk of being left behind,” teach us the wisdom of the rear-view mirror?1 How can we learn the art of the strong finish when we’re not finished with whatever we’re still holding onto in our hearts, our bodies, and our energetic fields?

THE NINE OF WANDS: Left - The Game of Thrones Tarot by Craig Cross and Liz Dean. Right - The Fifth Spirit Tarot by Charlie Claire Burgess.

This month, the Nine of Wands comes carrying a banner that reads: DON’T WORRY, YOU CAN DO NO WRONG! This foolish message is exactly the permission slip needed to begin 2024, a year of triumphant possibility. It’s our humanness that tells us that we have to do things in a certain order, or believes in superstitions. But just as the Fool contains multitudes, the concepts of right and wrong may not be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

If you’re feeling daunted by this work, remember that the Nine of Wands tells us that we’re so close to the end, even if it doesn’t feel like it. The end of what? Who knows. In reality, it’s probably just the entrance point to a whole different spiral of experience. But still, there’s hope. There’s always gotta be hope! As Leia says in The Last Jedi, “Hope is like the sun. If you only believe it when you see it you'll never make it through the night.”

This January, we’re going to make it through the night.

JANUARY 2024: BURN (OUT) BABY, BURN (OUT) 🔥🚫

This may sound unhinged, but I am grieving the early days of the pandemic.

On top of the grief that still sits like a stone in my belly over the loss of life and lifestyle that so many of us have experienced over the last three years, there is also devastation over the destruction of the cocoon that held me so beautifully while we were all stuck inside. It gifted me freedom from being perceived and judged by others, freedom to relax in my body, freedom to go deep into my mind, and freedom to expand within the confines of my house. When there was nowhere to go, and nothing else to do, I really did feel some strange semblance of peace.

What wasn’t peaceful, however, was how the home that my wife and I shared suddenly needed to become an office space as well as a personal dwelling.

Perhaps you can relate?

According to the United States Census, the number of people who switched from working in a traditional workplace setting to working primarily from home tripled from 2019 to 2021.2 For nearly 28 million Americans, the COVID-19 pandemic turned their homes into a place to quarantine, an office, a school, a daycare center, and more. This, plus the fact that 74% of workers who switched to remote or at-home work during the pandemic have reported clocking in for more hours at home than in an office, has left more than 62% of employees feeling burned out. That’s more than half of workers in any given workplace!3

However, this trajectory isn’t new. In fact, the World Health Organization classified burn-out as an occupational phenomenon back in 2019.4

Now, three years into a global pandemic, with violent wars continuing around the world, and the cultural divide deepening here in the U.S., it is feeling more and more impossible to wake up day after day and put our best foot forward.

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What is burn-out?

According to Merriam-Webster, burn-out is defined as, exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration.

It’s not just feelings of depression, lethargy and cynicism that make the experience of being burned out so dangerous, but also “the mountain of mental and physical health problems that often come along with it, including headaches, fatigue, heartburn, and other gastrointestinal symptoms, as well as increased potential for alcohol, drug, or food misuse,” says Psychology Today.5

The 2023 Work in America Survey, conducted by the American Psychological Association, shows that 77% of workers have experienced work-related stress in the last month, and 57% of those stressed out workers have experienced labor-specific symptoms of burn-out as a result, including emotional exhaustion, not feeling motivated to do their very best, and a desire to quit.6

Even worse, burn-out is not just an individual experience. According to Benjamin Goss, MBA, a Fractional CSO and Sales Expert who has taken an interest in what he calls the “silent [employee] epidemic”:

Just one person’s burnout can lead to a staggering 15% drop in overall team productivity… When a coworker is struggling, we sense it. Their exhaustion, their lack of enthusiasm, their constant fatigue — it all becomes … felt. And before we know it, our own morale and energy levels start to plummet. It’s a tragic spiraling domino effect, with one person’s burnout triggering a chain reaction in others around them.7

Now, it’s important to note that by in large, what’s being studied and discussed here is workplace burnout. That’s because we live in a capitalist society that largely promotes profits over people, and views employees as the productive workhorses that keep industries trotting along without a hitch. But there are other types of burn-out that we’re contending with, the results of which I think can all be accounted for under the umbrella of spiritual burn-out.

Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

Spiritual burn-out is the result of overall overwhelm. Either you’re completely exhausted by the day-to-day events of your jam-packed life, and therefore have no energy for connecting to whatever form of the divine you’re drawn to, or you’ve gone so far in the opposite direction that you’ve now consumed too much self-development or spiritual content, and are now completely maxed out and unable to make sense of any of it, let alone put it into action in your life.

This type of burn-out is perhaps the most insidious because it feeds into every other type. It keeps us from connecting to ourselves and others, as well as separates us from the Universe at-large, which means that we’re experiencing suffering without the opportunity to balance it with hope, joy, wonder, and awe.

How do we re-light our flames?

The bad news is that rest and time-off isn’t going to help us recover from the marrow-deep exhaustion and fatigue that we feel as a result of burn-out.8 Unlike stress, burn-out requires new and unique methods of recovery. The good news is that we’ll get into our options in the second little lesson towards the end of the month (January 19th).

But for now, I want to go back to my sweet COVID cocoon from 2020:

Sometime in the late summer of 2020, my wife and I decided to switch around the layout of our apartment, in hopes of creating a more peaceful environment. No one would be coming over any time soon, so the focus became what would work for us. This ended up being a major blessing in many ways, especially due to the needs of my new creative project, a digital art project called Divine Spark.

Divine Spark was originally devised by two friends of mine from college, Price Garrison and Jason Bellew, who were lovely enough to let me play in their sandbox once the pandemic changed their original plans for a live theatrical piece. What transpired once we took it online was an incredible amalgamation of writings, graphic design, inspired cocktail creations, paintings, photo projects, and more, all inspired by Gnostic creation myths and philosophies.

If you’re unfamiliar, Gnosticism refers to a heretical movement during the 2nd Century that believed that The Monad (The One, Source energy, The Creator, etc.) burst forth from the darkness into many different streams of light, all containing pieces of the big old puzzle of divine, creative energy.

One of these emanations, an aeon named Sophia, meaning wisdom, was so full of passion that she also produced an offspring, but as she was not The One, her creation was half-baked and more like her mirror: Yaldaboath, the demiurge, the embodiment of ignorance. Horrified at his beast-like form, Sophia banished him to a lower realm—the realm of Matter—where Yaldaboath created a place over which to establish dominion—the Earth—as well as human beings to worship him, and rulers called archons, who worked to keep the humans enslaved.

Yes, yes, Gnostics believed Yaldaboath to be the Biblical God, so you can see why they weren’t the most popular thinkers in the days of Early Christianity... But Gnostics also believed that human beings were not doomed to live in ignorance forever, but rather destined to embody what Mufasa asked of his son, Simba: Remember who you are! They believed in salvation through knowledge, or gnosis.

The Gnostics knew that within every single person, there is a fragment of The One, which they refer to as the divine spark.

There are plenty of bits of Gnosticism that I don’t vibe with—like the propping up of the spiritual soul at the expense of the material body—but overall, I think that if we have any chance of recovering from deep, spiritual burn-out, a good place to start is by reconnecting with our own divine sparks. Perhaps we simply need to know that it’s still there, burning within us, beaten and battered by life, but not blown out. For this flame can never be extinguished, not even in death.

Thank you for reading swimming in the soup. This post is public so feel free to share it.

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MOMENT OF TRUTH: Are you rolling your eyes right now? Are you wondering how it could even be possible to cure such physical, horrible symptoms of a phenomenon that’s been validated by the World Health Organization with some spiritual or philosophical principles and practices? It’s okay if you are!

Just remember our cards for January—The Fool, Reset, The Nine of Wands, and Don’t Worry, You Can Do No Wrong.

To solve an unusual problem, we need unconventional methods and harebrained mindsets! Gone are the days of looking to what’s worked in the past. Now, we must venture forth into the great and mysterious unknown.

When I was in the thick of my strange and severe health issues in 2023, I opened up to a friend who suggested that I read two things: the Biblical book of Job, and When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön. To wrap things up for today, I want to share a particularly potent and absurdly relevant passage from the latter with you:

In Tibetan there’s an interesting word: ye tang che. The ye part means “totally, completely,” and the res of it means “exhausted.” Altogether, ye tang che means totally tired out. We might say “totally fed up.” It describes an experience of complete hopelessness, of completely giving up hope. This is an important point. This is the beginning of the beginning. Without giving up hope—that there’s somewhere better to be, that there’s someone better to be—we will never relax with where we are or who we are.9

Can you let your present moment—your burned out, fucked up, hopeless present moment—be the beginning of the beginning? Can you love yourself here? Can you close your eyes and believe that your divine spark is still burning in your bones and belly? And can this tiny slice of foolish faith set you on the path towards the rest of your life? The rest of your day? Week? Month? Year?

I’m with you in this work. I love you as you are. I know that we will recover.

To continue receiving The Year of Yearning in full, please sign up to be a paid subscriber! 💸

Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca1

The Power of Sankofa: Know History for Berea College.

2

The Number of People Primarily Working From Home Tripled Between 2019 and 2021 for U.S. Census.

3

“The Silent Epidemic: Employee Burnout in 2023” by Benjamin Goss, MBA | Fractional CSO & Sales Expert for Medium.

4

Burn-out an "occupational phenomenon": International Classification of Diseases from the World Health Organization (WHO).

5

Burnout for Psychology Today.

6

“2023 Work in America Survey: Workplaces as engines of psychological health and well-being” for the American Psychological Association.

7

“The Silent Epidemic: Employee Burnout in 2023” by Benjamin Goss, MBA | Fractional CSO & Sales Expert for Medium.

8

“New Outlook On Burnout For 2023: Limitations On What Managers Can Do” by Bryan Robinson, Ph.D. for Forbes.

9

Chödrön, P. (2002). When things fall apart: heart advice for difficult times. Boston, Shambhala.

Welcome to 2024, an Eight Collective Year

Happy New Year!

Regardless of whether or not you observe January 1st as the beginning of a new year, congratulations! You’ve crossed an energetic threshold. Allow yourself a moment here to take a deep breath, shimmy your shoulders, and attempt a small smile. You made it. You’re here.

2024 is an eight year (2 + 0 + 2 + 4 = 8). In the tarot, it represents Strength and The Star. It’s big-hearted and brave, takes up unapologetic space, is both rooted and healing, and brings with it infinite options, resources, possibilities, and opportunities. At the end of a tumultuous seven year, which brought more conflict and confusion then clarity, the eight year is a chance to catch our breaths, and then screw our courage to the sticking place.

Below you’ll find an exploration of eight energy and what it could bring to 2024 through four keywords: Powerhouse, Embodied, Ordeal, God. Tucked under these umbrellas are thematic predictions, current events, spells and practices to try, food for thought, and more. I hope that it is useful to you today, and every day of the next year.

The information provided is the collective energy, external forces that effect us all. If you’d like to calculate your own personal yearly cycle, simply add the day and month of your birth to the year 2024. For example, if your birthday is today, January 1st, you’re starting a brand new nine-year cycle this year with a one personal year (1 + 1 + 2 + 0 + 2 + 4 = 10, 1 + 0 = 1).

This is quite long, a form I’m committing to this year with The Year of Yearning , so TL;DR:

2024 wants you to integrate and embody

2024 wants you to get back to going deep

2024 wants to resource you so you can keep going

2024 wants to pleasure you

2024 wants you to pleasure yourself

Otherwise, what’s the fucking point?

Eight is the Powerhouse

Eight (8) is the number of power, karma, resources, and abundance. Coming second to last in the spiral of the building block numbers, eight energy packs a punch, ruling over big picture constructs that have tangible impacts on our daily lives.

In a great deal of modern numerological writings, the number eight is connected to business and industry, to managers, supervisors, and CEOs, and to the endless production lines of capitalism. While I understand these present-day, contextual associations, I also believe wholeheartedly that the number eight deserves to be liberated from these kinds of economic confines.

Still, I cannot deny the collective stage that’s being set, and what may be spotlighted in 2024, including personal and shared debts, taxes and how tax payer dollars are spent, the housing market, consumerism as it pertains to both the economy and the climate, loans, banks, hedge funds, investment opportunities, Wall Street, industry changes, evaluations of labor and pay rate, the wealth gap, billionaires, government benefits, and more.

In 2024, I see there being both power struggles and power grabs. This energy is fertile for both fascism and organization. It would be a good year to examine the effects of People Power, as well as the continued divestment from the systems and structures that have proven fallible at best, and violent and repressive at worst. This collective energy is ripe for physical and economic protests, grassroot movements that seek justice and accountability, nationalism, extremeist action, and plugging in where you can.

In the United States, 2024 is an election year. Biden, the sitting Democratic president, has the lowest “approval ratings of the past seven presidents at the same point in their first term in office.”1 On December 30, his administration bypassed Congress for the second time in recent months to make a weapons deal with Israel, despite continued calls from American citizens, as well as the world at large, for a ceasefire.2 This also comes after Biden cited his inability to bypass Congress to forgive student loan debt to thousands of Americans. Former President Donald J. Trump is currently leading in many major polls, and is largely expected to be the Republican nominee.

The average age of historical empires is 250 years. The United States will celebrate its 248th birthday in 2024.

Thank you for reading swimming in the soup. This post is public so feel free to share it.

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In Chinese numerology, the number eight is considered extremely lucky! It’s the number of money and wealth, two topics which will also be highlighted in 2024.

Consider your investments this year. Consider your savings as well as your spending. Perform money spells. Write an 8 on a piece of paper and put it in your wallet to call in some financial flow. Think big picture when it comes to debts, credit cards and scores, and loan opportunities. In astrology, the 8th house deals with other people’s resources, roping in inheritances, wills, trust funds, and more. Snip self-sabotaging financial behaviors in the bud.

A colleague of mine,, recently wrote about their intentions to temper their own consuerism through embarking on a “Depth Year,” and I may have to join them. It sounds like the perfect way to work with external eight energy.

“Put simply,” Siri wrote, “a Depth Year is a year of very low spending in an effort to use what you already have and go deep in the commitments you’ve already made.”3

Siri shares that this looks different for every person, but for them, it means not buying new books or tarot decks, in an effort to get through their TBR and use the decks they already own. They’re also not going to purchase new courses, instead committing to taking the ones they’ve already invested in, and they’ll replace clothes and make-up as needed or seasonally.

While a Depth Year seems incredibly simple and practical, it will likely be a daunting experience at times. It’s difficult to escape the lure of instant gratification! It’s hard to deny yourself the little treat! When temptation arises, remember what you’re devoting yourself too. What long-terms goals are you supporting? Chances are, they’ll be more satisfying than the short-term gains.

If this is an idea that’s pinging for you as you head into 2024, here are some questions from Siri that can help guide you to your own goals and intentions for going deeper with what’s already in your hands:

Once you have your reasons for doing a Depth Year, you need to figure out what your boundaries are and how you will enforce them. Where are you most likely to slip up? What contributes to your spending issues? What are some of your biggest impulses and why?

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Eight is the Embodied

Eight is an emotional number, residing in the sex organs and the skin. It brings us into our soft animal body, encompassing the pleasure principle, which “strives to fulfill our most basic and primitive urges, including hunger, thirst, anger, and sex,” and also seeks sustainable security and safety during this lifetime of Earthly experience.4

Collectively, 2024 could bring new cultural, political, and legislative movement around reproductive rights, sex work, the handling of sexual violence and crime, labor efforts, and disability justice.

2023 brought us the first full year since Roe v. Wade was struck down by the US Supreme Court, and abortion rights have proven an important issue on state ballots. While many states have sought to increase protections, “fourteen states enforce total bans, and seven more restrict access under limits that also would have been unconstitutional under Roe.”5 We also witnessed solidarity between labor unions across multiple industries, with over 500,000 American workers going on strike throughout the year.6

I think that 2024 will bring continued efforts by those providing lucrative labor to bosses, companies, and countries. Will we continue to see the valuation of profits over people? Or will this be the year when more sustainable movements and processes are put in place? AI, and other technological advancements that seek to replace human workers, are sure to throw a wrench into this conundrum as well.

The last few years have blurred the lines between the office and the home, with the COVID-19 pandemic requiring companies to move to remote work. Now, executives are struggling to get employees back into city office buildings, revealing just how possible it is for business to run as usual without in-person workspaces. It has also made known just how ableist most work environments are, both in terms of what they ask from those they hire, and also how they discriminate against disabled people in the hiring process. “One in four U.S. adults has a disability which impacts major life activities, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention,” and yet the Bureau of Labor Statistics notes that in 2022, only 21.3% of the disabled population was employed.7

Beyond the workplace, 2024 could see additional areas of intersectional disability inclusion at the forefront of cultural conversation, such as accessibility, voting rights, political representation, legal and financial autonomy, and more.

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The number eight is deeply connected to the Roman goddess Venus, who represents love, passion, sex, beauty, prostitution, prosperity, and fertility.

In 2024, issues around intimacy, eating, money, confidence, and other tender themes may arise. Venus, but more importantly, an embodied Venus, offers us some potent potables this year that may just serve as an antidote to the harsher realities of eight energy. Ann Saffi Biasetti, a psychotherapist, author, and founder of An Embodied Life, offers a definition for embodiment “as living life informed through the sense experience of the body.”8

This means that this year, get sexy. With yourself, with another, with many others. Eat delicious food. Put on your favorite outfit. Spritz yourself with something that smells good. Adorn yourself with jewelry. Affirm your gender through HRT or surgery. Dress the body you have now. Remember that consent is sexy, lube is your friend, and use whatever form of protection works best for you, and then go downtown, uptown, all around town, in whatever you way you fucking want to. Fuck. Hook-up. Make love. Make a baby. Okay? Okay.

Eight also rules vulnerability and shame, so here’s a confession that hits both buttons: For the last few years, I’ve been writing and reading horny fanfiction. It’s been a fucking dream, honestly. It’s been so fun! I’ve gotten so turned on! It’s totally changed and expanded my creative life! The line between sex and art is fine fine fine, baby, and oh, do I love to toe it.

The reason I’m baring my soul to you now is to share with you a new truth that I have discovered that I have only come to know because of this specific life experience, and that is that you are always just one fic away from a new kink.

Western culture, religious culture, surveillance culture—it all seeks to keep you from your deepest desires. Your truest wants. Because if you knew what you wanted, you’d know what you don’t want, and what you’re not willing to put up with. That would likely make you very hard to control, and the authorities can’t have that! The future of the entire Empire would be at stake. (Hint, hint, wink wink!)

Kinks are some of the most intimate pieces of self-knowledge and desire. To discover what gets your gears turning, what has your belly swooping, and heat licking between your legs, takes a willingness to engage with the more taboo parts of pleasure. This year, dare to find out what you’re into. Be open. Try things out. Don’t judge what does it for you. Your body deserves to feel good.

Eight is the Ordeal

I know, I know, Joseph Campbell has been canceled! We’re over linear, male, hero stories! And yet—the eighth step of the Hero’s Journey is the Ordeal. It’s the Final Boss. The fight that threatens everything we’ve worked so hard for. The moment to put your money where your mouth is, and give it all you’ve got. This one’s for the win! Your reward awaits you if you can just peservere.

We’re reaching the end of another spiral, a numerological trip we’ve been taking together since our last collective one year in 2017. We’ve learned a few things, been knocked around a helluva lot, and there’s still so much we do not know. So we need to keep our wits about us if we’re going to have any hope of overcoming what awaits us. 2024 will require intentional action. We’re no longer just swinging our sword and hoping for the best. This year, we’re taking aim.

In their latest installment of , author and gender anarchist explores the eight year through the lens of the six cards of the tarot that feature the number eight. (They also quote my book, The Witch’s Book of Numbers, an unbelievable amount of times, and I think they’re so rad and smart that their inclusion of my words might just make me insufferable…)

May Charlie’s words, and these cards, be a prayer, a balm, and a pep talk:

So this year, let us call on Strength to bolster our courage with love. Let us call on the 8 of Pentacles for capable and diligent work, the 8 of Wands for the purpose of a heart on fire, the 8 of Swords for liberation from lies and illusions, the 8 of Cups for breaking the loop of the status quo. Let us call on The Star for guidance, for healing, and for hope that spurs us to action.9

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In The Witch’s Book of Numbers, I liken the number eight to Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. In case you’re not familiar, it’s the story of a people that are chained to a cave wall and made to watch shadow’s dance. Their ignorance runs deep, leaving them unable to recognize that what they’re seeing is just a reflection and not the actual puppet show. Even further from their scope of understanding is that there are others in the cave with them, pulling the strings and keeping them captive.

Then, one person breaks free. They venture out of the cave, going through a painful process of acclimating to the outside world, until they can finally stand in the sun. Just like Campbell’s heroes, they return with the reward of knowledge—that there is life and light outside of the cave—again going through a severe adjustment while re-entering the darkness. But what could have been a liberating moment for many instead ends in bloodshed. The ignorant become angered and confused by this notion of more, and kill the messenger.

I’ve been thinking about this allegory in a modern context, especially around the layers of programming that have woven its way into our lives. I’ve been thinking about all of the systems and structures that we have lost faith in over the last few years, of the programs and organizations that hurt the communities they promise to help heal, of the lies that must be believed in order to fund and further war, and of the fires of distust and hatred for the different that have been stoked in the name of supposed safety and homogeny.

I’ve also been thinking about how as much as we would like to position ourselves as the one who breaks free, it’s more likely that we are the ones chained to the wall, watching the puppet show. We are the ones who become enraged to the point of committing violence when faced with the reality that we have spent years being tricked by those who benefit from our ignorance. Yes, that is maddening. No, the one who broke free is not the enemy. Solidarity is key, it’s always they key.

In 2024, it would do us all well to avoid killing the messenger, and instead, commit to deepening our comprehension of the message. Eight is the Underworld. Just as the seven year in 2023 pulled up the floorboards and brought conflict to the surface, eight promises to reveal the rot that lies below and within. Examine and explore every point of view this year, especially yours. Consider motive and opportunity the way a detective would. Do not trust the words of those who maintain positions of power, but instead regard their actions. Decipher and pinpoint their values, and yours.

Next year, you’ll spin that knowledge into wisdom, but first you must venture below the surface of your own perspective. This is hearty, worthy work.

Eight is God

Eight is the energy of the divine. It has no beginning and no ending. When flipped on its side, the symbol for 8 becomes ∞, the lemniscate, the infinity symbol. Using an alphanumeric cipher called the Pythagorean Alphabet, which converts letters to the building block numbers of one to nine through the pattern A = 1, B = 2, and so on and so forth, even the word GOD becomes the number eight (G = 7, O = 6, D = 4, 7 + 6 + 4 = 17, 1 + 7 = 8).

Another way of seeing this energy is limitless creative potential. Source energy. The core of all that was, all that is, and all that will be. This well of infinite resourcing is ours to embody and use in 2024. Perhaps you will even be reminded that you are God. You are Source energy. You are magic and mystery; miraculous and mundane.

2023 was really fucking rough. I even have a friend who’s planning on spending January 1st at the beach, screaming at God by yelling at the ocean waves, a perfectly reasonable place to find oneself at this exact moment in time and space. And by all means, do your worst. God can take it.

2024 can offer you a chance to find your faith again. It will hold in its collective hands the opportunity to build better beliefs in the space left behind by what no longer resonates or serves. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

I’m going to write more about this as we get into the year, but for now, I’ll leave you with this, also from my book:

The number 8’s true wealth lies outside of any system of greed. It resides instead in every pore of our resilient skin and in the deep, pulsing desires of our slick and twisted guts. It is infinite and flowing, connecting us with the fortuitous truth of who we are, within and without… The energy of 8 provokes us, urges us forward, tells us to go deeper, harder, faster, or slower, until these tangles are untied, unraveled, undone. It’s hard to have to unlearn so much and still be left with a ball of knots—ceaselessly sliding back and forth and yet closer and closer to our own cores, embodying what it means to be both malleable and powerful, and redefining what it means to be both gentle and electric.10

In 2024, I hope that you remember to be both malleable and powerful; gentle and electric.

Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca1

Biden Ends 2023 With 39% Job Approval by Megan Brenan for Gallup (December 2023).

2

Biden Administration Again Bypasses Congress for Weapons Sale to Israel by Matt Surman and Edward Wong for the New York Times (December 2023).

3

Depth Year: What is it & My rules for 2024 by Siri Vincent Plouff on their blog (December 2023).

4

How Freud's Pleasure Principle Works by Kendra Cherry, MSEd for VeryWellMind (September 2023).

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State Policy Trends 2023: In the First Full Year Since Roe Fell, a Tumultuous Year for Abortion and Other Reproductive Health Care by Kimya Forouzan and Isabel Guarnieri for the Guttmacher Institute (December 2023).

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Why Were There So Many Strikes in 2023? by Cecelia Smith-Schoenwalder for U.S. News (December 2023).

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Just 21% of people with disabilities were employed in 2022—how employers can reduce hiring bias by Gili Malinsky for CNBC (July 2023).

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Defining Embodiment by Karden Rabin for Trauma Research Foundation (September 2022).

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A Year of Strength, Hope, and Devotion by Charlie Claire Burgess for Queerly Devoted on Substack (December 2023).

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Rebecca Scolnick, The Witch’s Book of Numbers: Enhance Your Magic with Numerology (San Antonio, TX: Hierophant Publishing, 2022).