Rebecca Scolnick's Blog, page 15

How magic and the tarot helped diagnose my mystery medical condition!

What’s up, swimmers?! In a couple of days, we’ll talk all about 2024 and what might be in store for us energetically during a collective 8 year. Then, we’ll begin The Year of Yearning—twelve months of intentional study that kicks off in January with an exploration of burnout.

But first, I wanted to get a little long-winded personal.

One of my favorite notions about seven energy, which we all waded through together in 2023, is its spotlight on the delineation between the private, the personal, and the public. Seven is foggy energy. It speaks to twists and turns in the road that we navigate on instinct, putting one foot in front of the other even if we don’t know exactly where we’re going. This method of traveling requires a healthy dose of blind faith, of buckling in for a whole lot of questions without the promise of many answers.

I commend writers and makers who are able to experience and share at the same time; who can actively weave their present-tense thoughts, feelings, and actions into an offering to others on the path. Sadly, that way of processing was just not in the cards for me this year.

Instead, I experienced a somewhat baffling year of retreating from whatever public eye I had spent the last few years trying to capture.

2023 was a personal three year for me, a year I hoped would be chock-full of communication, creativity and magic, and while there were absolutely moments of all three, there was also the flip side of this energy: confusion, destruction, and mess. The truth is, I didn’t know how to share what was happening to me while it was happening. I still don’t really know what to make of it all. But in her latest installment of , shared, “when you get vulnerable, other people come with you.”

So, my sweet swimmers, thank you for being here, and I hope that you’ll continue to paddle alongside me.

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My year started off with the gift of a new health insurance plan, and the curse that I would have to leave my longtime therapist.

Still, when the news first landed, I felt in my bones that it made total and complete sense, for I wasn’t going to be living in New York much longer anyway.

The decision to move, which was ultimately realized in the first few months of the year, was one that my wife and I had been agonizing over since the beginning of the pandemic. Before 2020, we’d never considered leaving New York. I had personally, once before in 2016, but since deciding to return, it seemed as if I had another bite to take out of the Big Apple.

So I stayed in New York.

But then we became cooped up, COVID, house cats—which is a fine way to live if you have a nice place with plenty of sunspots to stretch and sleep in. It’s less ideal if you live in a pair of dark, and expensive, rooms that you share with your wife and dog, who are also looking to spread out in the same small space.

So we moved to Los Angeles.

Now, this is where I have to give the seven year its props:

Seven, although deeply tied to spirituality and seeking, is a practical number. It continues the journey that the numbers one and four have embarked on by daring to consider new options. Seven is a new adventure in the form of movement. It’s the hermit crab moving from one, too tight shell to another. Seven comes after the expansion of six, and before the deepening of eight. It is the legwork needed to move from point A to point B.

Never before in my life has the runway been so clear to make a move. 2023 provided my little family with easy, breezy, beautiful green lights. Very little held us back from taking the actions needed to move across the country. I will forever be grateful for the general ease with which we uprooted our entire lives, and I will be forever in awe of the warmth with which we were welcomed into our new ones. Those are blessings that cannot be taken for granted.

Especially because that’s when my personal year started to head downhill…

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TW: Body pain, treatment, and general medical content

By June, my decision to throw myself head first into the move and our new digs in sunny LA had left me with severe pain in both of my wrists and hands. I learned the hard way that one cannot build an entire house of furniture with tiny Allen wrenches, and weed an entire overgrown garden of dandelions taller then one’s self, without experiencing some physical consequences.

Being a writer, who hopes to continue to weave a living out of words, this injury was an even more unpleasant pain to grapple with. But 2023 had also gifted me with the realization of a lifelong dream—a literary agent! (Hi Kelly!) So I slapped on some braces, and started a new novel.

By August, as I was preparing to go on vacation with my friends, the pain was worse, and my fears of carpel tunnel were great enough to get me to an orthopedic surgeon in LA. Luckily, the diagnosis was tendonitis, which meant I didn’t need surgery, but would need to continue to take it easy as I healed. I was given a prescription for physical therapy, a steroid shot in the thumb for some treatable inflammation, and sent on my merry way.

In the weeks that followed, I devolved from a (fairly) healthy, thirty-one year old woman with a couple of hurt wrists, to a practically immobile, medical anomaly taking a “very reputable” arthritis medication.

I had no idea what was going on, and why it had come on so suddenly, I only knew that I could barely move. For months, I experienced daily, debilitating pain throughout my entire body. I couldn’t raise my arms or lift my legs, the pain in my shoulders and hips no longer allowed me to sleep on my side, and my back muscles were so tense that I had trouble breathing. The bath was the only thing that provided any kind of relief, but I was no longer able to climb out without assistance from my wife.

September brought me weekly appointments with a chiropractor, a massage therapist, and an acupuncturist, as well as a new primary doctor, a referral to a rheumatologist, and a new therapist.

October brought me continued physical therapies after all of my medical tests came back perfectly normal. On paper, there was absolutely nothing wrong with me besides being “slightly” anemic. I hobbled my way into doctor’s office after doctor’s office only to be told that everything looked good, and to come back in a few months if I was still in pain.

“Do you have any questions?” I was asked by doctors not interested in asking any of their own.

“Yes,” I answered. “Only all of them.”

Then, my new therapist got a new job and fired me as a client, and I fell headfirst into the pit.

By Halloween, I was hanging on by a thread, so I called my trusted witch and asked for a reading. I hadn’t been able to engage with anything magical in the months I’d been in pain, too mad at my proverbial sky daddy to consider finding comfort in a deck of cards or an anointed candle, but this felt doable. Plus, I needed the community. I needed the connection. I needed for someone to sit in the pit with me and say that it was okay that I couldn’t see a way out just yet.

My witch pulled some cards and then gave me a look. “I can’t believe I’m about to ask you this,” she said. “But is there any chance that you’ve been poisoned?”

We gawked at the notion, but at this point, who the hell could say?! I was open for any possible answer or any new path to figuring out what was happening to me.

As we conversed, and picked and pulled apart the cards and their meanings, three questions came to light:

Could this be an LA-based injury that possibly happened while I was gardening?

Could I have been bitten on the hand by a spider or other insect?

Finally, again, could I have been poisoned?

In November, I went back to the doctor for a new round of tests, this time focusing on two things: environmental toxins and a possible myopathy, which is a term for a group of disorders that affect the skeletal muscle system, and my latest armchair expert theory for what I was experiencing.

Again, everything came back normal.

Discouraged, I swore off seeking new medical answers for the rest of the year. All of these questions would just have to carry me through to 2024, where hopefully I’d find some fuel in the tank to continue figuring out what the fuck had happened to me.

I was also feeling a smidge of physical relief, so I finally rescheduled a trip I had postponed due to health issues, got on a plane, and went to my hometown to meet my friend’s newest baby. However, the first night there, I ended up video chatting with some buds back East—the same ones that I went on vacation with in August. One of our friends has been dealing with familial health issues, so I caught her up to speed on my shit, telling her that she saw the last “normal” version of me all of those months ago.

She says, “Didn’t you get a shot of something right before we went to Chicago?”

“No…” I hesitated as I thought back to August.

But then I remembered the steroid shot that the orthopedic surgeon gave me— a prick to the hand to treat a gardening injury.

“You’ve been poisoned by that shot,” my friend stated like it was a fact.

Turns out, she was right! As was my witch; as was I.

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There is ample evidence to support that what I’ve been experiencing is a steroid-induced myopathy, the exact type of condition I’d zeroed in on before the last round of testing.

From there, the puzzle pieces started clicking into place—It’s a diagnosis by elimination, meaning everything else has been ruled out, the symptoms and the timeline all fit perfectly, and the kicker? The traditional tests for myopathies don’t work on drug-induced myopathies because the steroid lowers all of the levels even if it’s literally poisoning your body.

PHEW! WHAT THE FUCK! MAGIC IS REAL! HAHAHAALSFKJLK!

Thank everything that is holy, December has brought me some relief. The adverse reaction that my body has been having to the steroid has subsided, and now I’m much more mobile! I went to New York to visit my friends! I traveled to spend the holidays with my in-laws! I can sleep on my side again! And I can move into the recovery phase of this deeply bizarre, yet somewhat common, medical injury. While that may take six months to a year, the good news is that most people who suffer steroid-induced myopathies do make a full recovery.

I’m a bit too shell-shocked to feel completely relieved, but I do know that this is the best case scenario. I am grateful that it doesn’t appear to be a chronic, lifelong condition, despite preparing myself for months for that to be the outcome. I’m the happiest person who’s ever been poisoned!

Now, I’m not sharing this information to warn anyone or to get on some anti-steroid soapbox, although I do caution folks to do research and ask for information on possible side effects and adverse reactions of drugs that are being administered.

I’m sharing because this year, while I’ve been largely quiet or sharing other people’s words, I left the home I’d worked for twelve years to build, moved my family and my business to a completely new coast, home, community, and terrain, and then had the only other home I have—my body—become completely compromised and debilitated with very little explanation.

Suddenly, the privacy that I was already feeling drawn to in this seven year took over everything. I had very little energy to get personal, and absolutely zero desire to go public.

2023 is not a year that I would like to repeat, but it has given me the gift of a life that I would like to take pleasure in next year. It has offered me the opportunity to stay vigilant, to care for and advocate for myself, to continue reaching out to my loved ones for help and support, and, in a world that is not built for broken bodies, it has also deepened my understanding of and passion for disability justice, a topic that I think will be spotlighted in 2024.

Again, I don’t know what to make of it all, but here I am, breathing and blinking, and thank goodness for that!

If you’re still reading this, BLESS YOU, and thank you. Thank you for supporting my work, for reading my words, and for allowing me to take up space in your life. I’m so excited to get back to doing what I love to do—learning, teaching, sharing, finding awe and wonder in the mundane aspects of life—and I’m grateful that you’re along for the ride!

May 2024 bring us clarity, answers, good health, and a way forward.

I’ll see you in a few days, but also next year!

Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca

SNEAK PEEK: The Year of Yearning - January 2024

What’s up, swimmers?! Happy Mercury Retrograde?

This year seems determined to go out swinging, so I hope that your next couple of weeks are filled with anything and everything that makes you feel cozy, supported, gentle, and relaxed. There’s no need to press ahead yet. Just be where you are now and be tender with yourself.

I think you’ll find that January 2024’s energy is also hoping for this too!

But first! Before we get into today’s meat and potatoes, I wanted to share an article on the numerology of 2023 New Year’s Eve weddings that I had the pleasure of consulting on! Beyond weddings, the numbers reveal some patterns and insights that may be important to remember for anyone throwing a NYE party! Read all about it here: Countdown to Epic '123123' Wedding Date: Numerologist Rebecca Scolnick Shares Tips for NYE Nuptials 🌟🥂🗓

Now, let’s look even further ahead to January 2024 and the cards that will kick off twelve months of intentional study here at SITS.

If you haven’t already, you can check out my post Introducing The Year of Yearning for all of the dirty details on this year-long syllabus.

Then, snag the Early Bird Rate of $44 for the whole year until EOD today!

I decided to pull cards on Wednesday the 13th, after the moon had moved into Capricorn, in order for us to embark on this journey with a little Sagittarius fire at our backsides and Earth energy below our feet. The numerology of the day also offered a creative and magical energy, totaling 14 (1+2+1+3+2+0+2+3 = 14), which in rules the tarot card Temperance, which is sometimes renamed as Art.

To prepare for pulling our cards, I did a shit-ton of cleansing! This is partially due to the fact that I haven’t done much ritual craft since before my health issues started in the summer. In hopes of ruling out environmental allergens or toxins, I was advised not to burn anything, especially anything scented, so I had to put away my Florida water, my Scandinavian wood sticks, my juniper bundles, and all of my candles! BIG SAD!

But now, I’m 99.9% certain that my experiences are not due to any of my witchy tools, so what a triumphant return this has been!

Perhaps a little too triumphant 😚…

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JANUARY 2024: Top Row - The Dreamer’s Tarot by Marcella Kroll. Bottom Row (left to right) - Postcards from the Liminal Space, The Morgan’s TarotOur cards for January 2024 are…

0 - THE FOOL with RESET

THE NINE OF WANDS with DON'T WORRY, YOU CAN DO NO WRONG

God, I love these cards.

We’re kicking things off with The Fool, because of course we are!

When the clownish twins of The Dreamer’s Tarot by Marcella Kroll popped out of the deck, I’m pretty sure I said something along the lines of, “Hey babes! Of course it would be you!” After all, the void, the womb, the zero space that The Fool hangs out in is the perfect incubator to get us growing and going.

But more than that, we’re starting off with the combination of The Fool and the Nine of Wands, a potent pairing that I’m excited to explore with y’all in January, under the umbrella of our titillating topic:

BURN (OUT) BABY, BURN (OUT) 🔥🚫

That’s right. We’re talking about burnout.

Looking at our spread, I immediately heard the question:

“When is it foolish to keep going?”

According to Merriam-Webster, burnout is defined as, exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration.

Three years into a global pandemic, and with violent wars continuing around the world, and the cultural divide deepening here in the U.S., it can feel absolutely impossible to continue to wake up day after day and put our best foot forward.

However, this trajectory isn’t new. In fact, the World Health Organization classified burnout as an occupational phenomenon back in 2019.

It’s not just feelings of depression, lethargy and cynicism that make the experience of being burned out so dangerous, but also “the mountain of mental and physical health problems that often come along with it, including headaches, fatigue, heartburn, and other gastrointestinal symptoms, as well as increased potential for alcohol, drug, or food misuse,” says Psychology Today.

So, in January, we’re going to explore:

Burnout statistics — just how prevalent is this experience?

What does it mean to burnout? Online? In person? As a witch or other spiritually-minded, magical person?

What external and internal pressures do we face that want us to keep going?

What does it look like to recover from burnout?

Can we every really stop?

Maybe this seems like an ironic way to start the year, but maybe it’s actually the most natural approach. After all, the Gregorian calendar, which dictates January 1st as the beginning of a new calendar year, was just made up by a bunch of really smart guys that were hired by the Pope to keep Easter in the Spring.

Numerology, however, which is simply the art and practice of decoding patterns and feeling into energetic rhythms, tells us that January of 2024 is a nine month (1+2+0+2+4 = 9)—the culmination, the wrap-up, the end.

February 2024 (2+2+0+2+4 = 10) is going to bring us one energy to work with, and of course, one rules the start, the beginning, and the first steps. I trust that our future card pulls will reflect this directive as well.

But first, we’re going to pause and reflect on the soup we’re still swimming in.

This is where the Nine of Wands comes in.

In the guidebook to The Dreamer’s Tarot, Marcella offers that the Nine of Wands asks us questions like:

What is still in need of acknowledgment?

What still needs to be processed before you can proceed?

At the start of a new year, we may want to just push forward with the mindset that the past is in the past, and we’re living for the present and the future, bayybeee. But how can the art of sankofa (more on this in January!) teach us the wisdom of the rear-view mirror? Especially when we’re energetically not finished with whatever has us burned out in the first place?

It’s our humanness that tells us that we have to do things in a certain order or at certain days, places, times, etc. But it may not be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

If you’re feeling daunted by this work, remember that the Nine of Wands tells us that we’re so close to the end. Even if it doesn’t feel like it. The end of what? Who knows. In reality, it’s probably just the entrance point to a whole different spiral of experience. But still, there’s hope. There’s always gotta be hope! And as Leia tells us in The Last Jedi, “Hope is like the sun. If you only believe it when you see it you'll never make it through the night.”

This January, we’re going to make it through the night.

What if you dedicated yourself to the ending for the month of January?

What if you let the world start spinning again, but you moved at your own pace?

What if you actually paused to tend to yourself and your current state of affairs before forcing yourself to move on?

What if you committed to exploring and recovering from burnout instead of ignoring it once again?

All of this, and much, much, more, is coming your way. I hope you’ll join!

Snag the Early Bird Rate of $44 for the whole year until the end of the day!

swimming in the soup is a reader-supported publication. to receive full access to 2024’s Year of Yearning, plus seasonal audio forecasts on solstices and equinoxes, and access to The Soup™ Discord server, please consider becoming a paid pal!

Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca

2023: A Retrospective

What’s up, swimmers?! Does anyone else feel like that little dog in a top hat sitting with their coffee amongst the flames and saying it’s fine!?

2023, a seven collective year, has been downright chaotic.

Most of us have been, or still are, going through it.

Seven is The Seeker. It’s The Chariot and The Channel. It’s wrestling with spirituality and secrets, that which is known and unknown, and persevering through all states of being. Tending to our nervous systems and grappling with addiction, escapism, gnosis and crisis. Seven is both standing firm in clarity and continuing to put one foot in front of the other while walking through fog. It desires enlightenment through initiation and persistence.

Though seven energy can run the gamut from mysterious to miraculous, it’s not a gentle number, and cycling through it for an entire year can be a frustrating and triggering experience.

To quote my New Year Numerology 2023 newsletter from January:

It’s not always an easy ride, so while I would never deter you from moving into 2023 with hope and excitement, I also want to prepare you for the possibility that the external energies of this new year may feel intense.

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Twelve months later, as I write this to you in December in New York City—a place that I love deeply, but as of earlier this year no longer live in—I both stand by my previous statement, and think I underestimated just how rough of a ride this year would (and continues to) be.

This year has felt like a strange portal to a new kind of liminal space. A rabbit hole that goes on forever, the “floor” a continually moving target. Even for us travelers who welcome that sort of thing, 2023 has brought with it a different sense of being untethered from people, places, systems, structures, beliefs, and even our own homes and bodies. It’s also seemed to hold everyone in limbo, with a whole list of questions, but very few answers.

The good news is that this will change next year - more on this in a couple of weeks!

Personally, the concept of time has been stretched thin this year, pounded down to something baffling and unrecognizable.

In August of this year, I sat down to a meditation practice and in popped an idea for a new book, fully formed and ready for me to sit down and start writing immediately. While in quite a few ways this is The Dream, it had certainly never happened to me before, and what has transpired has been a truly wild ride in trusting what’s coming through my channel, putting aside my creative ego, and most importantly, continuing to show up to work.

That book is currently out on submission, so I can’t share too much about it, but I am mentioning it here because as I reflect back on the seven (7) collective year of 2023 (2+0+2+3 = 7), I can’t help but see how perfectly this semi-individual process has embodied themes of the number seven.

Plus, a great deal of the research and synthesis (both seven themes) I’ve done so far for this book has dealt with the concept of time and timekeeping through a numerological lens. What I’ve discovered has really tickled me!

Using an alphanumeric cipher called the Pythagorean alphabet, which is used to convert words into numbers, the word time is revealed to hold the energy of the number three (3)… Three is both sudden inspiration, and an eternal river that can always be accessed or tapped into. It’s beauty. It’s madness. Unlimited potential. Chaos…

When things get murky, human beings often employ the coping mechanism of building structure… Getting too big, too fast, too loose can lead to a state of fear-induced overwhelm, which ironically has been scientifically proven to distort our experience of time. This is where the concept of the calendar comes in handy. And wouldn’t you know? When converted into numbers and reduced, calendar is a four (4) word—the next number in the numerological spiral.

As if that weren’t uncanny enough — Three, the ruling number of time , and four, the ruling number of calendar , added together equals seven.

One of my pieces of advice for 2023 was to cling to curiosity as a balm for all that is indecipherable. I hope that you’ve been able to do that this year, but if not, if you’re still swimming in that murky soup, I hope that you’re tending to yourself as gently and lovingly as possible.

Again, in the eight year of 2024, I hope that we’ll be off to the races in a way that we’ve been held back from this year.

swimming in the soup is a reader-supported publication. to receive full access to 2024’s Year of Yearning, plus seasonal audio forecasts on solstices and equinoxes, and access to The Soup™ Discord server, please consider becoming a paid pal! 💸

Before I break down some of 2023’s most seven-like events, it would be remiss of me to sit here and write that this year has been trash without also acknowledging the ways in which it has been beautiful. There are always miracles to be experienced and in awe over, and perhaps it would do you some good to reflect on these as well as we reach the end of a tumultuous year. If this feels like a sticky practice, you’re not alone. I believe in you! We can do it together.

I hope that the relationships that you nurtured last year in 2022’s six year have continued to bloom, hold and support you through this one. I hope that all of the ways in which you have and are expanding have allowed you some moments of wonder and awe this year. And I hope that you have cultivated an inner fire that has kept you aflame and ready for what’s to come.

2023: Seven Energy in Action

There have been so many events in 2023 that I think represent the full spectrum of the number seven. Let’s take a look!

Seven as The Seeker:

OceanGate’s fatal journey to the Titanic wreckage site — In June 2023, a submersible named the Titan took five people under the sea to the famed final resting place of the Titanic. It disappeared, launching a full-scale investigation, and the remains of the sub and some of its inhabitants were found soon after.

SpaceX’s Starship rocket’s failure to launch — In November 2023, the uncrewed spacecraft successfully achieved lift-off, but exploded mere minutes after heading into space. SpaceX is said to be taking these learnings with them into the next phase of testing.

Seven and The Chariot as a symbol of resistance and war:

Russia’s continued attack on Ukraine — 2023 has seen the continuation of violence in Ukraine as Russia has continued to attack and invade. The war has already killed hundreds of thousands of people and there is currently no end in sight. Russia launched their most brutal missle attack in November, which is a harrowing pre-cursor for a second wartime winter in Ukraine.

Unyielding violence in Israel and Gaza — Since Hamas attacked Israel on October 7th, killing 1,200 and taking additional hostages, Israel has launched a full invasion of Palestine, killing over 18,000 people and leveling the majority of Gaza in just 50+ days. A true humanitarian disaster is also looming over this genocide, as lack of access to food, water, shelter, and healthcare is sure to increase disease amongst Palestine’s remaining population, who’ve already been forced to leave their homes on foot.

WGA and SAG-AFTRA Unions strike in Hollywood — For the first time in sixty years, both the Writer’s Guild and the Screen Actor’s Guild went on strike against major Hollywood studios in order to negotiate fair pay, streaming residuals, protections against AI, and more. Studio heads showed their hands early, threatening to keep strikes going until industry professionals were left houseless, but through perseverance and solidarity, the Unions came out on top.

Seven and the delineation between private and public:

Prince Harry’s memoir Spare — Released in January of 2023, Prince Harry’s memoir made public quite a bit of private information about not only Harry’s life, but the entire Royal Family. One of his personal confessions, that he killed 25 Taliban fighters while in the military, also specifically hits the seven nail on the head (2+5 = 7). He also blames the Murdoch media empire for greatly skewing international reality.

FoxNews hosts leaked text messages about January 6th and election fraud — Speaking of the Murdoch media empire… A settlement between Murdoch-owned FoxNews and Dominion Voting Systems revealed Tucker Carlson’s “true” feelings about Donald Trump and the reality of his loss during the 2020 Election, despite saying the opposite on the air. Another set of messages between Laura Inghram, Sean Hannity, and Carlson show just how little loyalty the popular hosts have towards the news giant, shining a spotlight onto the dishonesty of the enterprise as a whole.

Seven Life Path and Public Personas in popular culture:

It was a massive year for Taylor Swift, a double 7 Life Path and Public Persona (her birthday is December 13, 1989. 1+2+1+3 = 7, 1+2+1+3+1+9+8+9 = 34/7), who cemented her billionaire status after breaking numerous records with her worldwide Eras tour, which also had a theatrical movie release. She also claims the three best selling albums of 2023: the re-release of her popular album 1989 (Taylor’s Edition), Midnights, and Speak Now (Taylor’s Version). The latter two were both released in previous years, but continued to sell like hotcakes in 2023, and Midnights was awarded with a handful of Grammy nominations, which are sure to take the album’s success even farther into 2024.

2023 was also a huge year for Elon Musk, another double 7 (his date of birth is June 28, 1971. 6+2+8 = 16/7 and 6+2+8+1+9+7+1 = 34/7), who infamously purchased Twitter and tanked the platform rebranded it to X, launched a SpaceX rocket that exploded in four minutes, and received FDA approval to begin human testing on his Neuralink implant.

Greta Gerwig, a 7 Life Path (her birthday is August 4, 1983. 8+4+1+9+8+3 = 34/7), became the first female director to make a billion-dollar movie with Barbie.

What other events or people do you think have embodied the energy of this seven year?

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Next Friday the 15th, I’m going to be previewing the first month of The Year of Yearning, a year-long course of study that will cover a plethora of topics from our traditional buckets of all things magical and mundane—witchcraft, religion, philosophy, psychology, pop culture, creativity, and more!

I’ll be pulling cards for January’s topic on December 12th’s New Moon in Sagittarius, which is all about higher learning, charting new courses, and moving forward with faith and fortitude! You’ll get a chance at a sneak peek of these cards and an opportunity to take advantage of the final day for Early Bird pricing for the entire year of study for just $44.

Read more about it HERE, and I’ll see you next week!

Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca

Introducing The Year of Yearning

What’s up, swimmers?! Hi, hello! Happy December!

It’s been an unplanned season of quiet here at swimming in the soup due to personal health issues, and although I don’t have all of the answers that I’d like to have, I’m ready to dive back into The Soup™!

My hope for this space has always been that it would provide a proverbial bucket for all of my interests to co-mingle within. I’m curious about many facets of this world and beyond, and can have a hard time funneling those topics into neat boxes. Even worse is trying to pick a lane and stay in it!

As a result, since the launch of SITS in 2022, we’ve explored faith-based fueds, magical happenings in the White House, the intersection of astrology and reality tv dating, differences between Numerology and the Enneagram, and more! We also read DUNE by Frank Herbert together, diving deeper into themes of colonialism, access to water supplies, and climate change. Plus, I’ve had the extreme honor and pleasure of speaking to a handful of change-makers and creatives, including Hanna Williams, Maria Minnis, and Meg Jones Wall, about their spiritual processes.

I’m so grateful for all that we’ve embarked on together and I hope that you’ll join me for this next adventure through all things magical and mundane!

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IN 2024, SITS WILL PRESENT: THE YEAR OF YEARNING

→ Twelve Months of the Year // Twelve Topics of Study ←

yearn·ing (/ˈyərniNG/): a feeling of intense longing for something, typically something that one has lost or been separated from. from the Old English giernan, from a Germanic base meaning ‘eager’.

This year-long course of study will cover a plethora of topics from our traditional buckets of all things magical and mundane—witchcraft, religion, philosophy, psychology, pop culture, creativity, and more!

Each month will contain FOUR FRIDAY POSTS that delve into the Titilating Topic of the Month , sent straight to your Substack or email inbox! The first installment of each month will be free to all subscribers, and the additional love letters and lessons will be for paid pals only.

— Please see below for a more thorough breakdown of what these posts will contain —

These topics will be divined based on a three card spread: A Major Acana and a Minor Arcana from a 78-card tarot deck, and an Oracle card from either Postcards from the Liminal Space by Bakara Wintner, Christian Berry and Kaylee Christianson, or Morgan’s Tarot by Morgan Robbins.

I will be pulling the cards for each month on the New Moon and creating through the Full Moon, imbuing our lessons with lunar love and magic.

This means that for January’s inaugural installments, I’ll be pulling cards on December 12th’s New Moon in Sagittarius, which is all about higher learning, charting new courses, and moving forward with faith and fortitude! You’ll get a chance at a sneak peek of these cards on Friday, December 15th, the final day for Early Bird pricing for the entire year of study (more $$ info below).

Sign Up at the Early Bird Rate

WHAT CAN I EXPECT EACH MONTH?1. WEEK ONE - Wading in the Water

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Meet the Mentors of the Month

Getting to know the Major Arcana, Minor Arcana and Oracle ally of the month through various interpretations and keywords, plus photographs of the cards and images from different decks

Introduction of the Titilating Topic of the Month

Musings on how I came to the topic based on the cards

LESSON ONE

An exploration of the topic from different sources and perspectives, all funneled through my freaky little brain!

2. WEEK TWO - Love Letter #1

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Will Muse On:

A Bader-Meinhoff Moment — How the topic has shown up in real life since starting to explore

Version of the cards from the Monthly Spread that I really love

What I loved this week

Ways to show your love this week to yourself and others

3. WEEK THREE - Diving Deeper

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“Last Week on SITS”

A cheeky recap of what you may have missed in the previous weeks

LESSON TWO

Additional explorations of the topic, which will hope to tie-in to present happenings and questions for the future

4. WEEK FOUR - Love Letter #2

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Continued Musings from the Month

Final thoughts on the Titilating Topic of the Month

Sneak Peek of Next Month’s Cards

Here, you’ll get a little preview of what’s to come, plus the space to toss your guesses into the comments. Whoever gets closest might just win a little prize! More on this later.

WHAT IS THE RATE OF EXCHANGE?

EARLY BIRD PRICING AVAILABLE THROUGH DECEMBER 15, 2023!

Until December 15, 2023, there will be an Early Bird Rate of $44 for the year! That’s less than $4 per month for all of the lessons and love letters!

After that, and throughout 2024, the Year of Yearning will be available at the standard rates of $5 per month or $55 for the year. If you’d like to pledge additional support, you can always become a Founding Member for $77.

In addition to the full Year of Yearning, paid pals will receive:

Access to The Soup™ Discord server

Threads and Notes on Substack to discuss topics further

Seasonal audio forecasts on the equinoxes and solstices

Sign Up at the Early Bird Rate

Next Friday, I’ll be sending a reminder for Early Bird pricing, as well as a recap of my numerological predictions for 2023, so that we can take a look at how it may or may not have resonated with the collective year we experienced. Then, on the 15th, we’ll see how January intends to kick-off the Year of Yearning!

I’m really excited to get back to my basics of blending magical practices with spiritual seeking and I hope that you are too! Please feel free to ask me any questions you may have about the next year of SITS and as always, thank you for being here and supporting my work!

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Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca

Friday the 13th, Eclipse Season + Making Offerings to Hecate

What’s up, swimmers?! Happy Friday the 13th.

Did you know that Friday the 13th wasn’t always the spooky day some celebrate today, but a day devoted to goddess worship and celebrating the creative cycle or life, death, and rebirth? It’s true! There are 13 lunar cycles in a full year and Friday was named for Frigga or Freya, the Norse goddess of love, fertility, and beauty, as well as Venus, the Roman goddess of— wouldn’t you know it?—pretty much the same themes.

Sadly, the rise of Christianity and Patriarchy took what was once sacred and stomped it into something evil.

The good news is that this is we’re free to reclaim it now!

Thank you for reading swimming in the soup. This post is public so feel free to share it.

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A recent edition of harkened back to a gorgeous write-up of how to offer a deipnon (pronounced dayp known), a feast or meal for the goddess Hecate, and I personally feel called to engage with this deity practice today. Making an offering to the crone goddess of magic and the crossroads, feels especially potent as we cross the threshold of eclipse season—which starts tomorrow, Saturday October 14, with a new moon solar eclipse in Libra.

Eclipses have long been heralded as chaotic portals, seasons in which Spirit takes the wheel of our lives and gives it a good spin. Most witches caution against practicing moon magic during these cosmic events, for the energy is better served for surrender than manifestation. But as Amanda so generously reminds us, “witchcraft is a folk practice based on personal relationship to the deities/spirits/ancestors/etc,” so we’re always encouraged to trust our guts and our knowings when approaching our craft.

I choose to not set intentions or do ritual work during eclipse season. Instead, I’m going to spend the season, and the new moon in Libra, communing with Hecate without petitioning her to do me any favors.

If this potent pause in your practice is leaving you chomping at the bit to do some magic, perhaps you can carve out some space today to wrap up whatever spells you’re still casting, and clear off your altar to create some sacred space. You can also work with the numerology of today, October 13, 2023, a five (5) day with overall twelve/three (12/3) energy to do some bibliomancy, pull some cards, or even make a list of all the spells you’d like to try once eclipse season is over!

If working with Hecate is intriguing to you, know that offerings to her are extra supported today, as she supports the number three (3). Sometimes referred to as the triple-headed goddess, Hecate can be found where three roads meet, in any of her three forms—maiden, mother or crone—and can be an incredible ally through transitionary periods of past, present, future; life, death, and rebirth. You get the numeric picture.

You can also read more about Hecate in my book, The Witch’s Book of Numbers.

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Whatever you do today, I hope that you find ways to connect with yourself, the Universe, and your magic. May you always remember that you are both a creation and a creator, and that power is yours to wield in whatever ways feel rich and joyful!

Plus, it’s not too late to join us at the third annual Gathering of the Witches, a weekend of magic, inspiration, and transformation happening online from October 20th – 22nd!

I’ll be leading a workshop on The Magic of Numbers: Enhancing Your Witchcraft through Numerology, which is scheduled for Sat, Oct 21 at 11AM CDT. But there is an incredible line-up of teachers and speakers that is not to be missed.

Snag a ticket here!

If you do try a deipnon or make another type of offering to Hecate, I’d love to hear your experience! Drop a comment here or perhaps I’ll even try starting a Substack thread so we can share in a consolidated place! More soon!

Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca

The Witch's Book of Numbers is a Whole Year Old! 🥳

HAPPY HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY TO MY FIRST BORN! photo by Allexa Crosson Photography at Ruby’s Books in Folsom, CA

Buy TWBON from Bookshop.org | Amazon | Barnes & Noble, or listen to me read it on Audible! 💸🤘🏼🥳

The Witch’s Book of Numbers is a year old! Holy smokes, what a year it has been!

I look at this picture now, and barely recognize this person. While I do still own that dress, my hair is back to my natural shade of blonde, and while we would still have to travel to my hometown where this book event took place, an hour by plane from Los Angeles beats five and a half from New York! It’s absolutely bonkers to me to think about how much has changed in the course of a year.

And yet, there I am, and there’s that book I wrote! I see it in my house nearly every day! I picked it up just yesterday because I’m working on a new book proposal and am trying so hard not to plagiarize myself!

Thank you for reading swimming in the soup. This post is public so feel free to share it.

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One of the most wonderful parts of the last year has been connecting with other published authors. The experience of writing a book can be incredibly solitary, no matter how many editors, designers, and other publishing professionals are involved, and every book deal is different. Especially if it’s your first rodeo and you’re an unrepresented writer, the process can feel like wading through dark waters, wondering if anyone else has ever felt the uncertainty that you’re feeling.

Spoiler alert: They have! Almost everyone does! The publishing industry is purposefully opaque!

Now, this is larger conversation for another day, but to celebrate my book’s birthday, I want to share a little bit about its conception, in hopes that it can shed some light onto one possible publishing experience. If the WGA strike has taught us anything, I hope it’s that we writers are stronger together.

My book was published by an imprint of a larger publishing/distribution house. While the parent company is well known, the imprint is a smaller operation looking to grow its list of books. Over the course of a few months, I worked with an Acquisitions Editor to drum up a proposal for what is now The Witch’s Book of Numbers. After all parties involved were happy with the proposed book, we moved on to the deal phase.

The first thing I want to note here is that the work that I did with the publisher directly is typically done before trying to sell the book. Because you can sell non-fiction manuscripts on proposal (i.e. you don’t have to write the whole book in advance), a more traditional process would include putting a finished proposal out on submission, either to a publishing house that is open to direct submissions from authors or through one’s agent or manager. It’s rare that a publishing house will take the time to go through this step with authors themselves, and I will always be grateful for the opportunity to grow this book with the help of supportive publishing professionals.

There are many steps to making a book, and the timeline for production varies from project to project. But I can tell you that mine was quick! My deal was inked late May of 2021, and I turned in the first draft on September 20, 2021. This means that I had just a little over three months to write the book. Thankfully, this book was truly a culmination of over a decade of personal study, and I felt ready and prepared to essentially brain dump on the page. However, so much of the writing process really does entail procrastination, staring at a blank page, and tearing hair out over specific phrasing that will only really matter to the writer themself, so I’d like my next publishing timeline to be a bit longer for the sake of my poor, frazzled nervous system.

After my first draft was turned in, it took a few weeks to receive notes back from my editor, which then turned into a cycle of revisions and further notes. From first draft to second draft, the focus was on adding additional or “missing” content, and then the second to the third honed in on re-ordering, editing and addressing specific notes.

All in all, it was almost a year to the day from when I turned in the first draft to when the finished book hit shelves!

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Reflecting on the process and the year that’s passed since it was published, I am incredibly grateful for how everything went, and I have a (long) list of things I want to do differently next time.

The publisher of The Witch’s Book always says that publishing is a marathon, not a sprint, but I feel like I absolutely sprinted through the production process, and then got burned out after reaching “the finish line” of publication, which is really the starting point of a book’s true life. Then, in January, I got the opportunity to narrate my own audiobook, which was really important for me to do. But again, the experience was isolating, and the help that I did end up hiring (and paying for out of my own pocket) sexually harassed me during and after the recording process, which directly affected the ways in which I shared that achievement and offering publicly.

In so many ways, I do feel like I’ve dropped the ball on my book baby. But I trust that it’s finding it’s way into the hands of those who need it, and now that it’s out there, I can continue to uplift it and celebrate it for years to come. I’m also incredibly gobsmacked and grateful for the ways in which its publication has supported my longtime, bucket list goals — I’m a published author! I’m working on new books! I have an agent! If little me could see me now!

So thank you thank you THANK YOU to every single person that’s picked up a copy of my book. Thank you for every share, every recommendation, every social media post and comment. Just thank you. Your support means more than you could ever know, or I could ever put into words.

I’m also happy to share more specific experiences privately, so if you’re a writer looking for someone to hang out in the publishing mud with, send me an email! I’m here for you!

If this lil letter didn’t turn you off to it completely (😉), please help me celebrate The Witch’s Book of Number’s first birthday by purchasing a copy, leaving a rating or review, or sharing this post with a friend that you think might enjoy it. I wrote it for me and for you, and may it continue to live a full and lovely life for years to come.

So be it, so it is.

Buy TWBON from Bookshop.org | Amazon | Barnes & Noble, or listen to me read it on Audible! 💸🤘🏼🥳

Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca

Exiting Hermit Mode for the Fall Equinox

What’s up swimmers? Happy Fall Equinox! Happy Mabon! Happy however you’re ushering in a new season! Happy not ushering in anything at all!

It feels like a million years since I’ve written you a love letter. Hi, hello. Since the New Moon in Leo and then the two year anniversary of Blasphememe Sunday, I’ve been offline and largely in hermit mode, which in many ways is a (Virgo) seasonally appropriate place to be. But now, the sun is moving into Libra, and so here I am. Hi, hello!

I do have some fun stuff to share today: Ideas for observing the Equinox/Mabon, an extension on Early Bird Pricing for the Gathering of the Witches next month, and a little tease of what’s to come here at SITS later this year and beyond!

But first, I wanted to be transparent about what I’ve been going through this summer, which has intensified in the last couple of months, and has contributed to my digital absence. I’m sharing this not for advice, pity or attention, but rather to speak on my experience in ways that push against my inclinations to isolate and disappear. That being said, I am always open to responses! I love to hear from you! Just please consider what you’re offering before you press send.

photo by a beloved of mine, in early august

TW: Body pain, treatment, and unanswered health questions

After our move, I caught a bad case of tendonitis in both wrists, plus a couple of injured thumb joints. Unfortunately, it made sense to me—I’d packed, and unpacked, and traveled, and lifted, and hauled, and built, all with my own two hands in a relatively short amount of time. But by the end of August, the pain had spread throughout my shoulders, back, hips, and knees to the point where I’ve had trouble walking for the better part of a month.

It’s been shocking and awful and frankly unbearable at times. It’s not only taken over my day-to-day life, but the life of my wife and other loved ones as well. It’s revealed all of the ways in which I still struggle to care for myself, and accept help from others. I feel like a broken record of chiropractic massages, adjustments, acupuncture, blood draws, “normal” bloodwork results, talk therapy, rinse and repeat. Plus, worry and upset and pain and more appointments than I’ve had in my life.

And there are still no answers.

Nest week, I’m seeing a rheumatologist, and the search will continue.

One of the hardest parts of this whole ordeal for me has been my inability to work. I know that might read as silly when there’s something bigger going on, but I promise I don’t mean this in a capitalist hustle way. The truth is, I love to work! I love to be of service! I love to make things! But recently, the energy that I do have has had to go to my freelance gig (so that I can continue to afford medical care in our terrible system), and my continued care.

Though I’ve been plugging away at a proposal for a new witchy book, a draft of a fiction novel, and other projects that are taking up happy space on my plate, it’s been going a lot slower than I would like. It’s also fucked with my spiritual practices, my faith, and the illusions of control that still exist within me.

It’s also made me grateful for the love and support I have in my life. It’s shown me the privilege that I’ve enjoyed for the last 31 years of having a functioning and healthy physical body. It’s clarified what truly is important and of value to me.

For now, I’m being held together by ibuprofen, hot water bottles, epsom salt baths, walks with my dog, and the hope that it won’t always be this intense. It’s not quite the beauty that I expected from this Libra season, but it is teaching me that hyper-individuality really is an impossible way to live. Our bodies and our health are an amalgamation, a collaboration, and a community in and of themselves. It’s already taken many hands to get me this far, and it will take many more.

Thank you to the healers who’ve already shown up, and thank you to the healers still to come.

Thank you for reading. I love you. I hope you are well, whatever that looks like for you right now.

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The Witch’s Wheel of the Year encompasses the yearly cycle of the eight festivals, or sabbats: the solar equinoxes and solstices, plus the midway points between them. Though it has roots in many schools of religious and secular thought, the Wheel as we know it today was dictated by neopagans and Wiccans in the 1970s. It’s a man-made amalgamation of various themes and traditions, which we can still work with in our magical practices.

Mabon, also known as the Fall or Vernal Equinox, falls opposite Ostara on the Wheel of the Year, and is thus, another instance of a perfect balance between night and day. The second of the harvest festivals, Mabon has big 10 of Pentacles energy, ripe for feasting, giving thanks, and praying for an easy winter ahead.

You must calculate the exact date of Mabon in any given year to find the exact numbers to work with, but generally Mabon rituals include autumnal spices like cinnamon, ginger and star anise.

Create a dried spice blend to burn as incense or a spiced tea to drink as the sun goes down. Ritualize Mabon with a feast! Invite loved ones over for a meal of harvest foods and share in a hearty toast with red wine or pomegranate juice.

In 2023, Mabon falls on September 22: 9 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 0 + 2 + 3 = 20, 2 + 0 = 2.

Tailor your spells to the Peacemaker!

Usher in this seasonal shift with love in all of its forms. Create plans of care and compassion. Identify and release the inner critic. Devote yourself to peace and harmony, both within and without. See the magic in yourself first, and then notice the magic in others. Give thanks.

It’s not too late to snag Early Bird pricing for….

I’m thrilled to share that I will be a part of the third annual Gathering of the Witches, a weekend of magic, inspiration, and transformation happening online from October 20th – 22nd!

Join me and other magical teachers including Judika Illes, Arin Murphy-Hiscock, Linda Star Wolf, HeatherAsh Amara, and more for an immersive weekend filled with workshops designed to deepen your magical practice.

I’ll be leading a workshop on The Magic of Numbers: Enhancing Your Witchcraft through Numerology, which is scheduled for Sat, Oct 21 at 11AM CDT.

Get your Early Bird tickets by October 1!

Come Get Witchy With Us!

Last, but certainly not least—I’m cooking up something new for us here at SITS!

An official start date is TBD, but things are percolating for:

THE YEAR OF YEARNING: 12 LUNAR CYCLES, 12 TOPICS OF STUDY

yearn·ing (/ˈyərniNG/): a feeling of intense longing for something, typically something that one has lost or been separated from. from the Old English giernan, from a Germanic base meaning ‘eager’.

That’s really all I can share right now, but I’ll pop back in with more details as timelines shape up!

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Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca

In a couple of days, the Moon will be new again. Will you?

For this lunar cycle, all writings that I do in this space are growing out of this newsletter I sent on the New Moon in Cancer. It’s not necessary to read that letter first, though I do think it’s a good read! (Am I biased? Maybe!)

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In a couple of days, the Moon will be new again. Will you?

This has been a messy summer, above and below. Perhaps you’ve felt it in your own life, your heart, your brain? I know that I have.

The 8th month of the year 2023 is a 15/6 month. In Tarot speak, we’re working with the Devil—our attachments/patterns/habits, what holds us (perhaps back?), what keeps us chained to the proverbial wall.

The number 6, the root number of 15, is the Lovers, yes, but it’s also a mental number. It holds the promise of the expanding mind, allowing us to move forward and beyond whatever it is that we’ve thought, said, and expressed in the past.

So when you think about this month and what it’s revealed to you about your patterns—in relationship with Self or others, in work, in love, in family, in daily routines—how does looking at the journey through the lens of your mind change things for you?

As we are still swimming in the soup of the Cancer New Moon, the numbers that we’ve been musing on (1, 4 & 7) have all been practical. They’re sturdy and grounded and want us to make decisions with our feet firmly planted on the Earth. They ask us what we can build here, and how we may be supported by what exists in our physical reality. They implore us to look at change as a chrysalis to the next chapter of our becoming.

But to add in this logical and Gregorian energy of 6, which helps us to bridge the gaps between the zodiacal seasons, asks us to consider ourselves and our thought processes in wholly new ways.

What “makes sense”? What doesn’t? Who’s definition of “sense” are you using? When your brain makes noise, who’s talking? Can you be both the thinker and the observer of thoughts? As you shift and change and grow and build and release, how are you mentally guiding yourself through this process?

In the last letter, I shared about Time, and it’s connection to our heartbeats. I am fascinated by such a vast, external construct being connected to the very interiors of our beings.

Today, I’m sitting with the numbers 1 and 6 and wondering how we heal when there’s been a rift in the relationship with the Self.

When our sense of Self is rocked, when we no longer feel certain of our own perceptions of reality, when we question our ability to sift and sort and feel SURE, when we no longer feel safe inside of our own brains and bodies, how does that ripple out into all of the many facets of our lives? How does it separate us from our magic? How does it threaten our relationships? How does it effect the decisions we make? The narratives we spin? The ways in which we live, laugh and love? (Kidding, kind of.) And how deep does that shit go?

In a couple of days, the Moon will be new again. In Leo. The big, beautiful, beating heart of the Zodiac. According to Jan Spiller, Leo rules “love and romance, creativity, generosity, celebration & play/fun, dignity, determination, and tempering arrogance.”

If you’re exhausted, that’s ok. If you’re swimming under layers of heavy fog, that’s ok. If your underworld journeys haven’t yet returned you to the sunny surface, that’s ok too. Make your wishes anyway. Set your intentions anyway.

“Be here now,” Ram Dass would say. Cliche, maybe, but also a much needed reminder and invitation into acceptance.

Cancer might call it surrender. To the waves, to the tides, to the flow.

Leo would likely say, “Shine anyway. No matter how fragile the glow.”

(Hey, look, a rhyme!)

Excited to see what the next lunar cycle brings us! I haven’t felt like recording much of anything these days—not what I expected when my natal Mercury is in Leo!—but I hope that you’re enjoying these musings all the same. Thank you for being here. I love you! xx

If you’ve been looking for a way to grow your magic….

Join us for a magical journey at the third annual Gathering of the Witches!

I’m thrilled to share that I will be a part of the third annual Gathering of the Witches, a weekend of magic, inspiration, and transformation happening online from October 20th – 22nd!

Snag an Early Bird Ticket

Join me and other magical teachers including Judika Illes, Arin Murphy-Hiscock, Linda Star Wolf, HeatherAsh Amara, and more for an immersive weekend filled with workshops designed to deepen your magical practice.

I’ll be leading a workshop on The Magic of Numbers: Enhancing Your Witchcraft through Numerology, which is scheduled for Sat, Oct 21 at 11AM CDT.

Get your Early Bird tickets by August 31 and stay tuned for more details!

Come Get Witchy With Us

I also just wanted to shout-out some of my pals who have books available for purchase and pre-order right now!

Maria Minnis’s Tarot for the Hard Work: An Archetypal Journey to Confront Racism and Inspire Collective Healing is now available for pre-order! I just flipping love Maria and her work is so important in the world. So generous! So necessary! So expansive!

Sophie Strand’s The Madonna Secret is OUT NOW! Y’all know how I feel about Sophie, and I cannot wait to read this fictional rewilding of the Magdalene—Miriam—and her relationship with the land that grew her, and the very real man that loved her.

Please consider supporting their work, which will of course, support your own life adventures!

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Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca

Did you know that your heartbeat is connected to your perception of time?

For this lunar cycle, all writings that I do in this space are growing out of this newsletter I sent on the New Moon in Cancer. It’s not necessary to read that letter first, though I do think it’s a good read! (Am I biased? Maybe!)

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It is August. Rabbit Rabbit . It is Lughnasadh. Lammas. The day we harvest our “first fruits.” The Moon is Full. Take a moment here to reflect on all that you’ve built this year, this lunar cycle. Breathe in the promise of a new season.

[For those of you looking to get witchy, I’ve included some spell items & ideas at the end!]

But first —

This year, I’ve had a wild experience with time.

Maybe I should capitalize it, Time, because it does seem to be an incredibly proper noun. A title, a teacher, an entity of its own authority.

This is in part because I’ve been keeping a big secret! — We moved from New York to Los Angeles.

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when we moved, as there was quite a bit of back and forth—New York, Los Angeles, New York, Barcelona, Nantes, London, New York, Los Angeles—and for a few months, I never truly knew where I was supposed to be, physically, emotionally, spiritually…

But it’s happened!

For the first time in 12 years, I don’t have an apartment or a business in the Big Apple.

It’s very strange.

Even stranger, is the fact that I never wanted to live in LA! Growing up in Northern California, moving down South was more of a traditional trajectory, especially for actors and artists. But I wanted New York, so I moved East.

[To be here now, and to be happy to be here—not to mention to have different ideas about what living here means at this stage in my twisty career—is for another letter…]

In April, we came out to LA for the first time to set up the house that we’d rented almost sight unseen. There were pictures, of course, and we had a friend come see the place (Her review? “I think you should live here!”), but you never really know how you’re going to feel in a place until you’re there.

Call it jet lag, excitement, or the fact that my wife is keeping New York hours for work, but the minute we arrived, we started waking up early. Like 6 AM early, which if you know me, is early.

Suddenly, there were so many hours in a day! Time seemed to move so slowly!

Every time I would look at the clock, I would be shocked that it was “only” whatever time it was. We went from having a work day with some evening hours to having three different days over the course of one single day. I felt like Beyoncé!

Then, we went back to New York. Bye bye extra time! Again, I had a hard time getting out of bed, and the days seemed to fly by.

I don’t know if it’s the timezone change or what, but I truly feel like I’ve tapped in to some strange time vortex.

In my letter to you on last month’s New Moon in Cancer, I shared that the number 4 rules Time, and Space, and the Containers that hold us. Four is a practical number, which is connected to 7, the ruling number of 2023, which also has a connection to Cancer.

So, I started seeking information around those themes:

Personal — To ring in my 31st year of life, I had an astrology reading with Mallory Hasty (who I would totally recommend! They’re amazing!) where we explored the astrocartography of my move. Turns out that in LA, my Cancer Sun and Venus occupy the 7th house!

Collective — In a series of new studies, researchers have found that “our perception of time is likely always fluctuating and is at least in part tied to the functioning of our heart.” You can read about the study here, which is aptly titled, Wrinkles in subsecond time perception are synchronized to the heart.

Isn’t that wild?

Well, today’s Full Sturgeon Moon in Aquarius, and the month of August in general, are also tied to the innate intelligence of our hearts!

August is the 8th month of the year, connecting us to the heart-forward Strength card in the tarot; and Aquarius is the 11th sign of the Zodiac, whose root number is 2, which rules love, relationship, the heart, and the hands.

Plus, Aquarius—currently housing Saturn and having its way with changing social media platforms and government confirmations of alien life—is all about different systems of intelligence. So the idea that our hearts, which are so human and so intrinsic to this physical and emotional experience on Earth, are connected to a structure as opaque and yet universal as Time feels so juicy to me.

I’m going to be musing on it over the course of the next couple of days, and I’d love to know what you think! Happy Full Moon! Happy Lammas! Happy August! xx

PS. Hey LA honeys, call me beep me, if you wanna reach me! Let’s play!

Lughnasadh/Lammas Spell Ideas from The Witch’s Book of Numbers !

Lughnasadh, or Lammas, the first of the Pagan harvest festivals, celebrates the goodness of grain, which is typically the “first fruit” to be harvested.

August 1 has 9 energy (8 + 1 = 9) and symbolizes the culmination of the summer season. It also marks the beginning of preparations for the winter months. This is traditionally ritualized by collectively baking and feasting on bread, and then storing some of the grain away for the winter to come.

Because we’re doing kitchen magic already, perhaps you’d like to spread the wealth (8) by taking your sweet self (1) over to a neighbor or friend’s house to offer them a loaf of bread or a basket of cookies (9).

Make flower chains out of yarrow or goldenrod and wear them as lively decoration or adorn your doorways and/or altars with them to ward off negative energies that may sneak in as the weather gets colder.

Sunflowers are also a popular flower for Lughnasadh, as they are in season but will soon be harvested for seeds. Place a single flower or a whole bouquet on your kitchen counter or table, or enjoy a handful of sunflower seeds as a snack or addition to a recipe.

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Until next time, just keep swimming!xx, Rebecca

I got high, took a shower, and thought about the New Moon in Cancer

For the next lunar cycle, all writings that I do in this space will come from this newsletter. I’m going to allow this to be the seed. Everything that’s needed is already here. Cancer says we have time. Take it. Go deep. Indulge. Feel. Grieve. Rest. Nourish. Go. Go. Grow. 

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I got high, took a shower, and thought about the New Moon in Cancer. Here are those stories: 

*dun dun*

When setting New Moon intentions, connect with the Number 1.

The number one knows everything and nothing.

We really are all just making this up as we go along.

How can uncertainty at the start create space for flexibility and awe in a way that invigorates the cycle again, and again, like sea foam on sand? 

You don’t have to know much to get started.

In one energy, we just pull down the idea.

It’s whole, and yet it’s a fragment. Sometimes all we do is just make note of it. 

How can you learn to love to KISS: Keep It Simple, Stupid?

Allow them to hold the promise of something enormous.

This Cancer New Moon, I’m making intentions around hydration.

For the next 28 days, I want to be hydrated.

Consider for a moment how much liquid you expel through sweat and tears and come and salt, versus how much you take in or replace…

In fact, I was so sure I was going to drink a huge glass of water when I got out of the shower, before writing this, but here I am, still in a towel with my tits out, and absolutely parched.

Let’s all take a hydration break! Quick like bunnies, grab some water.

(Also, my extremely hot friends and I regularly do Hydration Checks in our group chat, so if you’re not making sure your buds are juicy and glowing on the daily, make that a part of your routine!)

Cancer rules the 4th House, connecting us to the many themes of the Number 4.

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