Mark DeJesus's Blog, page 129

Are You Listening to Accusing Thoughts About Others?

Accusation is a weapon that originates from Satan’s identity. He is the accuser of the brethren. That’s what he is in everything he does. Satan goes before God day and night, accusing you and me constantly! He is a legalist that looks for anyway to accuse someone and uses people to accuse others. His target is the brethren. In other words he goes after believers, and trains them to go after each other. When we have an accusatory thought about someone’s motives, actions or attitude, we are most likely listening to Satan’s front line of evil spirits. Even if your thoughts seem “right,” you are still listening to an enemy. When you accuse in thought or words, you join his kingdom against your brothers’ and sisters’ road to freedom.

Rejection makes way for an accusing spirit. We don’t trust other people, so we accuse them in their motives daily. This makes way for a number of destructive tools that reinforce the enemy in our camps.

1. Condemnation:

The whole mindset of accusation is very condemning. It takes “facts” and uses them as arrows to condemn people, rather than build them up. Truth is meant to set them free from and destroy the enemy that binds them. It was never meant to be used as a weapon to hurt people. When we stop coming at people in condemnation, love has a chance to permeate the atmosphere, where we can have honest communication and grow together. When we condemn, we pronounce a sentence on someone with no chance for them to change and be free.

Accusation points the finger and seeks to place blame. It releases guilt onto people, keeping them bound instead of freeing them. No one gets free with guilt weighing on them, but rejection trains us to use guilt to get people to love us and do what we want. This is all part of distorted relationships. It flows with all manner of judgmentalism, criticism and cynicism.

2. Gossip and Slander:

Accusation teaches us to have an appetite for bad news, where we develop a radar for information regarding other people’s flaws and failures. Rather than being a safe place for relationships, we end up hurting our brothers and sisters more than the world does. Why do we need the world to persecute us when we Christians are fine at tearing apart our own?

The People Magazine culture that we live in thrives off seeing others not do well and making it a topic of discussion. Satan loves when we start doing character assassinations on each other. Gossip and slander are some of the most disgusting things that could exist in the Body of Christ. We justify speaking about other people’s business and other people’s sins without respect and honor for God’s children, for His Body, and for His creation!

Gossip and slander have split churches, destroyed businesses and broken families apart. It has ruined the ability for God’s Spirit to flow freely. It has halted revivals. It has destroyed entire denominations and fellowships. Why? The lenses people viewed their relationships through were distorted and they spoke words that tore down, split apart and hurt others.

Question: Where do you need to recognize that accusation may be speaking to you to get you stirred up about others? 

Comments: Are You Listening to Accusing Thoughts About Others?.

Comments policy

Twisted Communication

The most frustrating tactic in Satan’s toolbox is his ability to twist and distort our communication with each other. Being able to communicate is the primary mechanism we have as humans to have relationship with God or others. Satan knows if those communication lines get distorted, then we are all sunk. A rejection mindset works within the realms of communication between people, twisting our words and meaning so love is not exchanged properly.

What we hear is not what is really being said. What we say back comes out of our own distorted hurt. Words are thrown back and the war ensues.

The most frustrating tactic in Satan’s toolbox is his ability to twist and distort our communication with each other.

In the Old Testament, there is a spiritual picture of Satan’s work as a dragon-like creature named Leviathan.[1] One of his characteristics is that he is a twisted serpent. That is what Satan does to everything, he twists it. This includes communication. This deadly serpent lies in the deeper waters of life, where people desire to get closer to God and closer to each other. We have to understand that all Satan has to do is get the communication twisted and we are all fighting with each other and separating from one another. What is being heard is not what is being said, but rather a twisted version. That twisted interpretation ignites further problems. The more you try to explain and argue, the worse things will get. If we do not deal with the rejection strongholds in our life properly, this twistedness will be a part of the communication of all of our relationships. It will exhaust everyone involved and create division left and right.

That is what Satan does to everything, he twists it.

I find that people with a twisted lens will even twist the relationship when there is a gap in communication or seasons of silence for any reason. They will take any silence or lapse in communication as perceived rejection. We’ve all fallen prey to this. We assume the negative and create an entirely negative scenario that most likely isn’t even true. We email a friend. We never hear back. We assume it’s because they don’t like us. We don’t realize the friend had an emergency and on top of that, had issues where their emails were not going through. Our rejection lens painted a picture of something quite different.

Healthy relationships always give the benefit to the other person, assuming the best until you are clearly shown otherwise in direct communication. We have all had gaps in relationship communication. If we choose to fill those gaps with distrust, suspicion and strife, then the enemy wins in being able to distort and eventually split relationships.

Question: Where has communication been twisted in your relationships? What do you find helpful to overcome this? 

Want more? Get your copy today of Exposing the Rejection Mindset

 

[1] Isaiah 27:1

Comments: Twisted Communication.

Comments policy

Twisted Communication

The most frustrating tactic in Satan’s toolbox is his ability to twist and distort our communication with each other. Being able to communicate is the primary mechanism we have as humans to have relationship with God or others. Satan knows if those communication lines get distorted, then we are all sunk. A rejection mindset works within the realms of communication between people, twisting our words and meaning so love is not exchanged properly.

What we hear is not what is really being said. What we say back comes out of our own distorted hurt. Words are thrown back and the war ensues.

The most frustrating tactic in Satan’s toolbox is his ability to twist and distort our communication with each other.

In the Old Testament, there is a spiritual picture of Satan’s work as a dragon-like creature named Leviathan.[1] One of his characteristics is that he is a twisted serpent. That is what Satan does to everything, he twists it. This includes communication. This deadly serpent lies in the deeper waters of life, where people desire to get closer to God and closer to each other. We have to understand that all Satan has to do is get the communication twisted and we are all fighting with each other and separating from one another. What is being heard is not what is being said, but rather a twisted version. That twisted interpretation ignites further problems. The more you try to explain and argue, the worse things will get. If we do not deal with the rejection strongholds in our life properly, this twistedness will be a part of the communication of all of our relationships. It will exhaust everyone involved and create division left and right.

That is what Satan does to everything, he twists it.

I find that people with a twisted lens will even twist the relationship when there is a gap in communication or seasons of silence for any reason. They will take any silence or lapse in communication as perceived rejection. We’ve all fallen prey to this. We assume the negative and create an entirely negative scenario that most likely isn’t even true. We email a friend. We never hear back. We assume it’s because they don’t like us. We don’t realize the friend had an emergency and on top of that, had issues where their emails were not going through. Our rejection lens painted a picture of something quite different.

Healthy relationships always give the benefit to the other person, assuming the best until you are clearly shown otherwise in direct communication. We have all had gaps in relationship communication. If we choose to fill those gaps with distrust, suspicion and strife, then the enemy wins in being able to distort and eventually split relationships.

Question: Where has communication been twisted in your relationships? What do you find helpful to overcome this? 

[1] Isaiah 27:1

Comments: Twisted Communication.

Comments policy

#017: Confronting Spiritual Hinderances | Q&A: Does the Enemy Know Your Future? [Podcast] Show Notes

In today’s episode, entitled, “Confronting Spiritual Hinderances,” I will break down the subject of strongholds; what they are, what they do and the affect of strongholds on our life. I will also address a question later about whether or not the enemy knows your future.

Feature Presentation: “Confronting Spiritual Hinderances”

Episode Notes: Listen to the audio by clicking the link above or by subscribing using iTunes, Stitcher or Zune

2 Corinthians 10:3-5(NKJV)  For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ

Though we live in a physical world, our battles are not fought in a physical dimension.
Our weapons in God are strong to pull down strongholds.
What is a Stronghold?

It is a military term.
it is a way of thinking, an impression or reasoning that goes against the knowledge of God that becomes built within us. The enemy’s counterfeit to God’s way of thinking.
These become footholds that limit the potential and capacity you have as a believer.


What strongholds do in your life.

Release thoughts that block out God’s thoughts.
Keep toxic thoughts planted that keep healthy relationship from flowing.
Filling you with more thoughts that will have a negative effect on your body’s health.
Limits your spiritual potential.
Keep you bound in certain habits and ways of living.


Casting down arguments . . .
Casting down “every high thing”
Every stronghold has a psychological and biological effect.
Take every thought into captivity.

Q&A Segment: Does the Enemy Know Your Future?

Heather Melendez from East Hartford, CT asks, “I had a discussion with someone over the issue of whether or not the enemy can see your future or not. We talk about how things always get so tough as we are near a break thru, the fire gets turned up, etc. Then I felt confused as to if the enemy knows what were going to end up overcoming or is it just as were making progress, he’s mad that we’re started to break thru & getting free from what’s kept us bound? I know he knows his time is drawing near to a close…. Does this make sense?”

 

 

Comments: #017: Confronting Spiritual Hinderances | Q&A: Does the Enemy Know Your Future? [Podcast] Show Notes.

Comments policy

What is Happening Spiritually When the Body Attacks Itself

Autoimmune diseases occur when the body’s immune system begins to mistakenly turn and attack itself. In military terms, when soldiers are hit by their own army’s ammunition, we call it “friendly fire.”

A person who has an autoimmune disease is “in a warlike state of friendly fire.” The body is actually attacking itself, revealing the spiritual war going on within the person. They are in a continual war of self-rejection within themselves. There are varying autoimmune diseases, including, Type-1 Diabetes, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, celiac disease, lupus and more.

Let’s take multiple sclerosis as an example. Within every human being is a pathway of nerves that run throughout the body. Surrounding the nerve cells is a protective sleeve known as the myelin sheath, which surrounds and protects, just like a rubber sleeve protects a copper electrical wire. In someone with MS, the immune system does not simply protect their body from invaders, but the white corpuscles of the immune system turn on the person’s own body, attacking the myelin sheath. As this occurs, the protection of the myelin sheath starts to wear away, creating a scar; known as a sclerosis. In the case of MS, this person does not just have one sclerosis, but multiple sclerosis going on throughout the body. This creates a great deal of pain, numbness, paralysis and more.

Spiritually, it can be very common for people suffering with autoimmune issue is that what is happening physically is also happening spiritually. The person is under assault agains themselves. They can struggle with deep self-rejection combined with self-hate, but it often hides under the surface. The self-rejection comes out of a lack of being loved properly, usually from a father or another significant male in their life that has left them with an unhealed broken heart.

Because of this, one can struggle with constant insecurity as to who they are. They are conflicted in their identity and self-worth. They are accused in their thoughts, so guilt becomes a constant motivator in their life. The problem is that ministering to someone with autoimmune can at times be challenging, because they can cover up their self-hate and self-rejection with performance and drivenness. They feel good in finding value in what they do, rather than just being at peace in being a child of God. They keep a good facade going, giving everyone the impression that things are good, when in reality, they struggle underneath. Additionally, often they don’t know how to express hardship and struggle without going into self-pity and self-loathing.

I have learned this in my own life. I could not give and receive love without fear or uncomfortability. I sought to feel loved in what I did and how well I did it, so I would overcompensate for my self-hate by striving and doing more; never coming to peace with being God’s child–never just resting in my identity as a loved son of God. Father God has had me on a journey of learning to let his love bring rest to my heart–to quiet the conflicts in my mind where the enemy would want to accuse me and press me down. Many like me, grew up in religious patterns that allowed very heavy legalism to accuse us in our thoughts, where we never felt “good enough.” This cycle has to be broken by the grace and love of God, who receives us in because of His Son, Jesus Christ.

At the end of the day, my peace can only truly come from resting as His dearly beloved. I must take my peace in His rest, relying on the yoke of Christ to carry the load and let the Father’s love rest on me. He’s healing and restoring me day by day. I cannot allow the enemy to make me “my own worst enemy.” God has never called me to be at war against myself. Why should we?

Quite often the healing comes in learning to be loved–letting God love on you and allowing others to love on you. With this, we can learn to be our own best friend, rather than a combatant in our own thoughts.

Comments: What is Happening Spiritually When the Body Attacks Itself.

Comments policy

21 Signs You Struggle with Self-Rejection

We can only love our neighbor as well as we have processed love in ourselves. Jesus told us that we are to love our neighbor “as ourselves,” which for many, can be a daunting task.

Here are some common signs you may struggle with a work of self-rejection in your life.

20 Common Signs of Self-Rejection:

Excessive shyness, passivity and non-initiation in relationship.
Self-image issues, where you cannot accept how you look physically.
Excessive attention to clothes and appearance.
Difficult time receiving love from others.
Difficulty taking in the kindness of others.
Difficulty loving others.
Deep critical spirit of self AND others.
Constant feelings of inadequacy and inferiority.
Regular comparison to others.
Constant patterns of unworthiness.
Angry; either pent up where they shut down or become irritable, or outward, where they become pushy and overbearing.
Perfectionistic tendencies to cover up lack of self-love and to feel any sense of worth.
Self-isolation.
Depression and heaviness.
Addictions, often hidden ones.
Sexual fantasies.
Outward fabrications to hide defects or weaknesses.
Giving off a sense of superiority, even though they actually feel inferior.
Extravagance in spending, in an attempt to gain admiration and acceptance.
Struggles with self-hate and self-accusation (self vs. self).
Neglecting priorities and key responsibilities.

Any of these seem like a pattern in your life? Want to go deeper?

Get your copy of Exposing the Rejection Mindset today and step into your freedom!

Comments: 21 Signs You Struggle with Self-Rejection.

Comments policy

#016: The Source of Evil Thoughts | Q&A: Is Speaking in Tongues of the Devil? [Podcast] Show Notes

Today’s episode is entitled, “The Source of Evil Thoughts,” where I will break down the subject, “Where do all these unhealthy, toxic, evil, disruptive, negative, troubling, conflicting thoughts come from?” I will tackle this head on. I am also going to answer a question, “Is speaking in tongues of the devil?”

Q&A Segment: Speaking in Tongues

“I have heard some Christians having concerns about Satan when we speak in tongues. Is that an issue?”

Feature Presentation: The Source of Evil Thoughts

Genesis 3 – “Who Told You?”

Matthew 16:21-23 – “Get Behind Me”

John 8:37-44 – “Your Father is the Devil”

Ephesians 6:12 – “Your Battle is Not With Flesh and Blood”

Listen to this broadcast today! Go this article page to listen to subscribe using the applications below. 

Comments: #016: The Source of Evil Thoughts | Q&A: Is Speaking in Tongues of the Devil? [Podcast] Show Notes.

Comments policy

The Poison of Envy and Jealousy

To understand the work of envy and jealousy, we need to define how they operate, so we can better discern their poison. By definition, jealousy is a zealous desire for what someone else has. We have to also understand that there is a healthy type of jealousy and an unhealthy type. Just as there is godly anger, which fuels passion, there is also demonic anger that defiles people. The same can be true for jealousy.

A healthy type of jealousy is revealed throughout Scripture of God’s passionate heart towards His people. In His unwavering love towards us, He carries a perfect loyalty towards His children. He has committed Himself to never leave us or forsake us. He is eternally faithful and will be with us to the very end. God is an ever-present help in time of need.[1] In this passionate relationship, God desires unwavering loyalty from us also, so that nothing interferes with our relationship with Him. He asks for our complete surrender to Him, because God is a God of covenant loyal relationships.

There can be a healthy aspect of jealousy in marriage as well. The wife can be a little concerned that her husband is losing his passion for the marriage, as he works late hours at the office and has a few too many conversations with a female coworker. This jealousy will cause a wife to say, “Honey, we need to talk about what is going on.” What drives this is a passionate desire for loyal and faithful relationship within covenant. That healthy jealously brings about conversations that can strengthen the marriage, and also expose kinks in the chains of unity.

In God’s Word, He speaks of being a jealous lover, who is passionate about His loyalty and faithfulness (Exodus 34:14) He calls us to do the same. The Bible even talks about being provoked to jealousy out of a slumber so that we can return passionately to God with our whole heart (Romans 11:11).

An unhealthy type of jealousy is a suspicious insecurity regarding someone else, where we long for who they are or what they have. There becomes a lack of peace and an inner torment develops over another person’s successes, achievements or possessions. It usually comes out of a comparison to your own insecurity and troubled circumstances. This is the dangerous territory of the enemy, where we lose our peace and behave in such a way that relationship health is corrupted.

An unhealthy type of jealousy is a suspicious insecurity regarding someone else, where we long for who they are or what they have.

The word envy speaks of having pain at the sight of someone else’s success or blessing. In its Latin origin, it means “to look at with malice or to cast an evil eye upon.”[2] With envy and jealousy in your life, you actually admire what another one has, but it festers into envy and jealousy. Envy and Jealousy says, “I treasure who you are or what you have, but I hate you because you have it and I don’t.” This is not just in regard to possessions, but can be about personality traits, talents, gifting and more.

Envy and jealousy work the most when we are injured, broken-hearted and struggling. Ever notice when you are broke, you happen to notice the people around you who are not? Whenever you have massive family battles, you take note of all the families that seem to have it together? This is the work of envy and jealousy. It releases its poison when you are at your most vulnerable. If we are honest, watching another person being blessed in an area where we have not received can be very trying. It is also a tremendous opportunity for growth and maturity.

[1]Hebrews 13:5, Deuteronomy 31:6,8, Joshua 1:5

[2]http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?allowed_in_frame=0&search=envy&searchmode=none

Comments: The Poison of Envy and Jealousy.

Comments policy

When People Become Excessively Needy

For many, their basic need to be noticed and loved has not been satisfied. If this never becomes addressed, it can create relational problems of epic proportion. What was a love tank has now become a love tanker with holes on the side that can never truly be filled and satisfied. Chronic relational struggles often come out of the continual drive within a person to be validated; a need that was never fulfilled properly.

Rejection fuels this issue of neediness. As people demand continual attention and help, pastors are drained of energy. Friendships lose their health simply because one or both parties have a deep neediness that permeates the interactions, never giving a sense of freedom to the relationship.

Emotional Drain

Are there people you avoid because one question will lead to an hour-long discussion that you won’t be able to escape? Do you click the phone call to voicemail because the person on the other end of the line will drain the life out of you? Do you have people in your job, church or school that dominate conversations all the time? What is the driving force that causes them to act this way? Quite often, the core root issue is the excessive neediness they carry, most often coming out of a spirit of rejection in their life. The enemy has taken up residence in the area of this unhealed wound in their heart. Satan won’t let them be at peace, so they have to keep pulling from other relationships, attempting to find something to pacify their inner wound.

Rejection Setup

This neediness will create what I call a “ping pong battle.” The person’s rejection issues will create a scenario where you will do something that will reject the person in some way and keep the person’s neediness going. They overdo it, with their constant talking about themselves, telling you stories or over-explaining. You feed the monster within them or ignore it. Either response increases their neediness.

The person’s rejection issues will create a scenario where you will do something that will reject the person in some way and keep the person’s neediness going.

After careful observation, I’ve found that I, too, have unknowingly ignored people who carry these kinds of rejection issues. My wife would look at me and say, “I think you totally ignored that person.” I would respond in shock, thinking, “I totally did not mean to ignore them in any way.” Then the next time I see them, the same pattern would occur, even though I consciously tried to pay more attention to them. After a number of situations playing out this way, it dawned on me, this is a spiritual setup to affirm over this person’s life that they are not loved and they are rejected!

My Personal Journey

I, too, know what it is like to lack that sense of validation and affirmation. I carried that wound for a long time, well into my years of ministry. This wound created a mindset, through which I viewed life and relationships. I felt I wasn’t being heard, so I would sometimes talk more to overcompensate. Other times, I would retreat into isolation, thinking, “No one cares about what I have to say.” As I felt that people ignored me or seemed to forget about me, I further came into agreement with rejection. Without realizing it, this battle would leak out into my relationships, I carried a pattern of then ignoring others out of my own feeling ignored.

The only way to defeat this pattern is to take responsibility for the rejection root, come out of agreement with its ways and walk in patterns that defy the enemy’s programming. We must become honest about the inward deception rejection has created. I had to first let God heal me, and recognize I was not ignored. I also could not let people become the idol of affirmation for my heart. Only God can fill that. I then began to approach people differently, out of a place of knowing I am accepted and loved by God. I stopped living my life wondering whether or not people loved me.

The “Me Monster”

When the neediness within us, coming out of rejection is not met, a great deal of anger will rise up. Rage can even be present. Thoughts will arise within saying, “They don’t care for me! They don’t love me! Those people are terrible!” People who deal with a great deal of anger often have a deep wound of feeling ignored, un-affirmed and not recognized. For them anger becomes a constant reaction, defending the wound that has never been healed.

We can then carry what the famous comedian Brian Regan calls the “Me Monster,” a way of having conversations where it becomes all about us.

We all need encouragement and validation, but when rejection is a driving force, this need becomes a never ending void, and a monster arises.

Now let’s take a look at you, because the first thing people will be tempted to do is read this and think about someone else who needs to hear this message. I think it is probably true that a rolodex of people have flooded through your mind. Much of what I am sharing will highlight their battles. I would encourage you to resist the temptation to think of everyone else and first let these truths fall into the grid of your own heart. Let it challenge the way you see yourself and the way you operate in relationships.

We all need encouragement and validation, but when rejection is a driving force, this need becomes a never-ending void, and a monster arises. Here are some patterns that can manifest from childhood all the way into our adult years, revealing the unmet need to be validated, affirmed and recognized.

Question: Where do you find excessive neediness working the most in people’s lives? 

Get Your Copy Today!

 

Comments: When People Become Excessively Needy.

Comments policy

# 015: Can You Hear God Now? | Q&A: God’s Voice and the Enemy’s Voice [Podcast] Show Notes

Today’s episode is entitled, “Can you hear God Now?” where I will address how to position yourself to hear from God better. I will also help answer a question dealing with knowing God’s voice vs the enemy’s voice.

Announcements

Book Giveaway: Inside Out Transformation: Walking Out the Journey of Healing and Freedom

- The first person to go to the contact section and send us a note will get a free copy! Please send us your mailing address when you do so.

Resource Sale: Inside Out Transformation Teaching Kit

- Normally $38.99, now on sale for $9.99 til Friday August 15!

Feature Presentation: “Can You Hear God Now?”

Today’s feature presentation is called, “Can you hear God now?” I want to help you learn to hear the voice of God in your life and allow His thoughts to become your thoughts. This is a deep passion for so many believers, and it should be. We all ought to be able to sense what God is saying in our lives and what He is seeking to grow us in. 

Ways That Will Help Improve Our Hearing:

Live with a knowing that God is speaking and wants to speak to you.
Develop a passion to hear.

Come with a child-like heart.


Don’t put demands on how God will speak.
Be willing to obey what you already know.
Don’t make it complicated or over mystical.
Take time to treasure and meditate on God’s Word.
Grow in understanding God’s nature . . . His love, His goodness, His kindness, His holiness.
Become correctable.
Be able to listen to the council of mature believers.
Slow down your pace.

Cultivating a Lifestyle to Hear from God:

Make time to sit and listen. 
Have your very own quiet place. 
Be still, quiet yourself and relax. 
Come before God according to His flow. (His Protocol) 

Psalm 100 – Enter His gates with thanksgiving
Psalm 100 – Enter His courts with praise
Psalm 100 – know He is good.
Approach the Father in the name of Jesus Christ.


Begin to Take in the Word of God
Write Down the thoughts that seem to stick out.  
Submit these to a mature believer or leader who will speak honestly to you. 

Q&A Segment: God’s Voice vs the Enemy’s Voice

Brooke James from Seattle Washington . . . “Hi Mark, how do you discern between God’s voice, your own voice, and the devil’s? I know God does not condemn..and we have the mind of Christ…but I seem to be very confused about what I have felt is the Holy Spirit speaking to me and then wondering if its just me or the devil…especially when what I have felt God speak is not what actually happens in my life..so maybe its just not happening yet in life and I need to trust and persevere..or maybe I made it all up.”

Question: What helps you in learning to hear God’s voice in your life? 

Comments: # 015: Can You Hear God Now? | Q&A: God’s Voice and the Enemy’s Voice [Podcast] Show Notes.

Comments policy