Mark DeJesus's Blog, page 127
October 22, 2014
#025: The Wound Most People Ignore [Podcast] Show Notes
On today’s broadcast, we uncover a wound and an area where our modern generation lacks love, and this is the subject of nurture. In the episode we begin pealing back the mother wound, what nurture was designed to give us and the deadly effects that a nurture void leaves.
Mark and Melissa both share their story in discovering this wound.
English Definitions of Nurture:
Providing nourishment to sustain
To bring up
To train
Rearing and educating
To support
Aid in recovery
Bring comfort
To encourage
To protect
Parenting, by father and mother.
Ephesians 6:4 NKJV And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training (nurture) and admonition of the Lord.
Biblical Definition of nurture (Strong’s Number 3809) paideia :
includes training and care of the body
correcting mistakes (walking with them in it)
Curbing passions (self-control)
instruction to increase virtue
Chastening
the whole training and education of children
Send in your questions regarding this subject as we want to engage you about this topic in upcoming episodes!
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October 20, 2014
Faith Leads
Psalm 23 is a wonderful example of how God leads His children along in life. It says in His Word that He “leads me beside the still waters.” It is important to notice here that God is shown in this passage as a wonderful Shepherd. A shepherd understands the sheep that are in his care, and he will go out of his way to insure the safety and health of the flock. His desire is to lead the sheep into places of peace and rest. As long as the shepherd is there, everything is OK.
The word lead in the original language actually means “to run with a sparkle, flow, protect, sustain, carry, feed, guide, lead (gently, on).” That is a powerful expression He is using for us here! God is saying that He is running with a sparkle, probably because He loves us so much as our Daddy and is excited beyond human comprehension at our existence and potential. He is protecting us, sustaining us, carrying us, feeding us, guiding us, and gently showing us a place of rest. Psalm 23:2a could read, “He causes us to lie down in green pastures.” That is what God will do for His sheep, His children! It is God’s desire for you! If only we would release ourselves to let God do just that.
In Hebrews 4, God proclaims His call for His people to be led into that place that He refers to as “rest.” It is a place that every believer needs to strive to enter. Interestingly enough, there is pretty much nothing that God wants us striving in or becoming driven about, yet He makes an exception here in Hebrews. The instructions are clear. The only area where it is acceptable in the Kingdom to be driven is when we daily strive to enter into His rest. Basically in the spirit, we are told to wake up, run and hustle to go rest! What a concept! This is the arena where God’s Kingdom is unleashed. It’s not a position void of activity. It doesn’t mean sitting on the couch all day waiting for things to happen. It’s an active position of release and surrender, allowing God to guide and direct us, while He takes care of the results. This is your daily assignment to enter into His rest.
It seems like a contradiction in teaching, but it is not man’s doctrine, it is Kingdom teaching. We enter that place of rest through our belief and trust that He is our Good Shepherd who will take special care of those who put themselves under His care.
Comments: Faith Leads.
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October 15, 2014
#024: What is the Role of a Man? [Podcast] Show Notes
Join us in our new format! My wife Melissa DeJesus joins me as co-host to delve into the many subjects we will tackle on Transformed You.
In today’s episode, we discuss the role of a man as a father, husband and brother in Christ to his generation. We want to address what it means to walk as a Christian man in today’s culture.
Caleb Nketiah wrote in and asked, “What is the role of the father in the family? Physically, emotionally, and spiritually?”
Father | Husband | Man’s Role:
Establish a Covering/Watchman
Establish Love (Spoken and Felt)
Affirmation of Identity
Approval
Daddy Needs of a Woman:
Cherished and seen as beautiful.
To be protected
To be treated as a princess.
What is the role of a single man?
What should a woman look for in a man?
What other questions do you have regarding the role of a man in these times?
Want more help regarding this subject? Get your copy of Inside Out Transformation.
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October 14, 2014
12 Straight Truths About Addictions
People who recognize their entrapment of addictions and desperately want to be free will often appreciate the straight truth. Whether its drugs, food addictions, relationship addictions or addictive thinking patterns that are obsessive, we all need the straight truth to get free from addictive influences in our lives. Here’s the straight truth to know in order to gain more victory.
1. Addictions provide unmistakable proof of demonic activity.
I rarely encounter a person who admits they have addiction issues. They do not affirm there is an inner voice, a pull or an invisible enemy lurking within and driving the person’s emotions. When addressing addicts, the secular media even speaks of “addressing someone’s demons” as a tongue and cheek kind of statement. The reality is the enemy is deeply involved with those who struggle with any form of addiction and will do everything possible to poison our affections and cravings to sources that will never satisfy, yet keep us bound. The war of addictions is very spiritual.
2. People who struggle with addictions are not bad people.
They are not evil. They simply have an evil kingdom at work in them that will not allow them to live in peace with a balanced life. They become wired to not be able to live without a certain habit, relationship, way of thinking or thing. People who struggle with addictions are often very sensitive and creative people, capable of amazing feats. Yet at the same time, they carry this dark need to jump into their world of escape at any moment.
3. With addictions, comes a hornet’s nest of strongholds.
We are not just dealing with one thing, there are multiple layers that drive addictions. I tell those who come for ministry, get ready to deal with an entire cocktail of issues that need to be uncovered. Because this book addresses the subject of rejection, we must address addictions, for rejection is a common root system of this battleground.
4. Addictions usually start off small and escalate slowly to uncontrollable proportions before the person realizes it or is willing to admit it.
What we tolerate at first will often grow to own us before we even realize it. There is also a great deal of hiding, denial and covering up involved with addictions. A big key to victory involves the person humbling themselves and admitting there is a problem. Those close to the person know there is an addiction issue, but the addict themselves is usually the last to verbally admit to the problem. Getting free takes a massive step of walking into the light and allowing the God to heal them.
5. Getting free is not just about breaking the habit.
Many people focus on breaking the craving or whatever habit seems to bind them. This creates a fruitless focus. Those who only focus on breaking the habit often trade one addiction for another. If they break one habit without addressing the root system behind addictions, the addiction spirit simply transfers over to another habit or behavior. This is because there is deep programming involved with addictions on all three levels—spirit, soul and body.
6. The very nature of an addictive spirit is that it is never satisfied.
It will always want more. Love satisfies. Lust is never fulfilled. This lust drive is like an all you can eat buffet that never ends.
7. Freedom is not about just about breaking the habit, but addressing and changing the whole “addict lifestyle.”
The enemy not only keeps people locked into a habit, but into the lifestyle involved. Everything in a person’s life, from how late they stay up at night, how early they wake up in the morning, the way they fabricate in relationships, the lies they portray about their walk with God and so on, becomes modified to make way for the person’s addictions.
8. Addictions involve an escape from reality.
We become trained to go to the habit as a way to fill a void inside, to run from a fearful situation or to attempt to cope with pain and hurt. This is becoming more and more common, especially because we are a society bent on moving away from pain and moving towards pleasure as quickly as possible. We like quick fixes and give it to me now kind of living. This is what lust does; it leads us into an altered state of consciousness where we can escape the pain. One might use a drug or food or they might run to work or a hobby to alleviate the pain that has not been addressed. This is what fueled the sixties drug culture. They weren’t embracing true freedom, but were trying to escape from their inward pain.
9. Those who struggle with addictions often feel separated from true love.
Love in its truest form feels very foreign, because they are only comfortable with rushes. They feel separated from God’s love, from loving themselves and from engaging in loving relationships with others. They lack a simple understanding of the love of God which is what the simplicity of the Gospel is all about. When the addiction impulse rises, it is an indicator that love is missing somewhere in the person’s heart.
10. Addictions arise more often when we truly feel bad about ourselves.
The enemy knows that keeping you hurt, upset or wounded will make you serotonin-deficient in the long run. That deficiency will not only keep you from feeling good about yourself, but will make you constantly vulnerable to addictive patterns.
11. Some people break free from addictions immediately while others have to go through a long process to walk in freedom.
I even find that those who claim immediate deliverance still need a walk out, where they learn to live the life that does not involve being bound to a habit or behavior.
12. Addictions trap believers and nonbelievers alike.
Oftentimes addicts who become believers, and do not deal with the addiction root, become addict Christians, where they need a quick fix to be able to deal with their issues. I remember speaking at Christian rehabilitation centers, where men were learning to live free of drugs. Many of the men successfully dropped the drug habit, but went on to gain about 30-40 pounds because of overeating and sugar addiction. The addict mindset was not removed so they simply transferred to socially acceptable addictions. Christians commonly justify overeating, sugar abuse and overworking in ministry, while never dealing with and facing the issues of their life.
Addictions rule over our lives and our ability to make sober choices. One might be a born again Christian who loves God, but is chained to addictive habits, making impulsive decisions and having obsessive tendencies. Those ways become master and ruler over that area of their life. When it comes to addictions, we have to ask, what has rule over our thoughts, affections and actions? This is where we can confront what rules over us and give it over to the Lord.
Question: Which of the 12 is most helpful in breaking free of addictive thinking, habits and behaviors?
Comments: 12 Straight Truths About Addictions.
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October 8, 2014
#023: Family & Relationships – An Interview with Melissa DeJesus [Podcast] Show Notes
On today’s episode, I invited a super special guest, my wife Melissa DeJesus to the show today and bring her flavor of knowledge, insight and experience to Transformed You. She dropped by the studio today to talk about life, family, relationships and her journey of transformation.
Announcements
2014 Survey: take a moment to fill out our 2014 survey and help us get to know our audience better. markdejesus.com/2014
Free Giveaway: the first person to send in a question for the Transformed You show will get three free books sent to them: Inside Out Transformation, I Will Not Fear and Exposing the Rejection Mindset. Use this link to submit your question!
Feature Presentation: Family & Relationships
An Interview with Melissa DeJesus
In our show today, Melissa shares a bit of her story and journey of transformation. She talks about a little bit of everything, from how she met Mark to how she juggles life as a wife, mom and pastor in ministry. Our discussion covered what it is like being a mom to our son Maximus, who has been diagnosed with autism. You will hear the beginnings of how we have processed through this and the perspective that we have taken in addressing this issue in our home. I believe you will thoroughly enjoy our conversations, as though you have just entered into our kitchen and are listening to an everyday talk from two people in the battle trenches of life, seeking to live as overcomers.
Have any comments? Any questions you would like us to address? Please use the comment section below. We’d love to hear from you!
Comments: #023: Family & Relationships – An Interview with Melissa DeJesus [Podcast] Show Notes.
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#023: Family & Relationships – An Interview with Melissa DeJesus
On today’s episode, I invited a super special guest, my wife Melissa DeJesus to the show today and bring her flavor of knowledge, insight and experience to Transformed You. She dropped by the studio today to talk about life, family, relationships and her journey of transformation.
Announcements
2014 Survey: take a moment to fill out our 2014 survey and help us get to know our audience better. markdejesus.com/2014
Free Giveaway: the first person to send in a question for the Transformed You show will get three free books sent to them: Inside Out Transformation, I Will Not Fear and Exposing the Rejection Mindset. Use this link to submit your question!
Feature Presentation: Family & Relationships
An Interview with Melissa DeJesus
In our show today, Melissa shares a bit of her story and journey of transformation. She talks about a little bit of everything, from how she met Mark to how she juggles life as a wife, mom and pastor in ministry. Our discussion covered what it is like being a mom to our son Maximus, who has been diagnosed with autism. You will hear the beginnings of how we have processed through this and the perspective that we have taken in addressing this issue in our home. I believe you will thoroughly enjoy our conversations, as though you have just entered into our kitchen and are listening to an everyday talk from two people in the battle trenches of life, seeking to live as overcomers.
Have any comments? Any questions you would like us to address? Please use the comment section below. We’d love to hear from you!
Comments: #023: Family & Relationships – An Interview with Melissa DeJesus.
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October 4, 2014
How Jesus Addressed the Victim Mentality
In chapter 5 of the book of John, Jesus found a man by a pool, where he and many others lay sick and diseased in various ways. The location was Bethesda, a supernatural site where an angel would come down and stir up the waters. When this angel would swoop down and touch the waters, the first person to jump in was healed of whatever disease they had. Talk about an amazing opportunity for instant healing! Jesus walked up to a man who had been afflicted with an infirmity for thirty eight years.
John writes, “When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be made well?“’ (John 5:6 NKJV – emphasis added).
The first thing we can see here is that Jesus knew that this man did not get sick a week ago. This disease had gripped this man for most of his life. One thing Jesus could know is that someone who has a disease for a long time can end up wrapping their identity around their disease. What comes against us can end up becoming a part of our identity if we are not discerning.
The question Jesus asks confronts the victim mindset right from the start. When you read this account, it seems as though Jesus is being a little uncaring, at least by our modern day standards. He doesn’t ask for the man’s story. No intake done at all regarding what factors got him to this place. His question hits to the core of the man’s heart and motivation. “Do you want to be made well?” He cuts right to the heart of the matter, “Do you really want to be healed?
The key question is, "Do you really want to be healed?"
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To the average reader, this seems like the dumbest question in the world! Who would want to stay sick? As a reader, I am answering the question for the man before he can even speak, “Yes! Yes! Just say yes!” We don’t see that, but instead hear victimization telling Jesus a story. “The sick man answered Him, ‘Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me’” (John 5:7).
Jesus didn’t ask that. He just needed a yes or no answer. Victimization doesn’t answer that, because it would draw a line in the sand of what would be required from this day forward. If he says yes, then he is personally responsible from now on. If he says no, he looks like a fool to everyone. So instead, he gives a list of reasons why he hasn’t been able to get into the pool.
Do We Really Want Healing?
Let’s be honest, if he really wanted to be healed, he could pay someone or even bribe someone. “Hey buddy, next time the angel comes, I’ll owe you a thousand dollars if you run and shove me into those waters. Give it all you got and I’ll pay you back when I get back on my feet. I’ll get a job and earn plenty of money to make it worth your while. Anything….anything to just get in that water. If I don’t make it this month, then help me next time. Whatever it takes. Get me in that water!” Instead, he was so bound that his answer was . . . the story.
Instead of answering “yes” or “no,” to help, the victim only gave "the story."
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All of us, if not careful, can carry a story within us that is not the story God has given. The story we carry can be littered with chapters of unhealed pain, distorted perspectives and limited thinking. We can carry that story into many different situations, projecting it onto future encounters. The man had a chance to address his story and replace it with the story that Christ was bringing to him—a story of healing and wholeness. It is the same story God is bringing to us today, but we have to ask ourselves the same question. Do I really want to be healed?
All of us, if not careful, can carry a story within us that is not the one God has given for us.
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I have sat down with many people who were looking for healing of a debilitating disease in their life. They came to me to see if we could get to the root of what may be making and keeping them sick. I have often had the uncomfortable conversation, asking them, “Do you really want to be healed?”
They look back at me like I am crazy. “Of course Mark. Of course we want to be healed! That’s ridiculous!”
Then I say, “Well, are you willing to give up your disability check if you get healed and no longer have this disease?” A moment of silence falls as they ponder how their disease has actually developed into a whole world of needed provisions that may be challenging to let go of.
I am not trying to knock getting financial or medical help. That is not the point here. I am getting to the root of whether or not they really want to be healed, because with healing comes a new lifestyle and an entirely new way of living. A lot of times people want the healing, but don’t want to embrace what a healed life looks like. That is what a victim promotes: rescuing with very little personal participation.
Walking into Wholeness
Jesus heals the man, but the Bible doesn’t say that He just healed him, but makes him whole. God is actually interested in all around wholeness. For most, we think the story is over and we move on to the next event. But Jesus actually runs into him at the temple and gives him a very interesting instruction. Afterward Jesus found him in the temple, and said to him, “See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you.” John 5:14. Jesus was making sure he understood that he was healed despite his sin issues, but that if he didn’t watch out the sin issue could rise up again, and he would be sicker than before.
When we live as victims, we carry unbelief, which denies the possibility of our situation being...
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Yikes. That’s a tough thing for most Christians to hear, because we hate the idea of disease being the result of sin issues. We avoid that subject at all costs, especially because of people who have taught on the subject with heavy condemnation and guilt. But we can’t negate that Jesus warned the man firmly, guard this wellness you have been given. Watch how you are thinking so that you don’t fall into the old patterns that made you and kept you sick.
I propose to you that one of the sin issues this man carried was that he saw all of life as a victim, which gave no room for love, hope and faith to operate fully in his life. When we live as victims, we carry unbelief, which denies the possibility of our situation being changed. We lose hope and believe the lie that we have no more options. Just like the man who was healed, we need to understand that we need to live as a victor, not as a victim. Oftentimes, part of our healing process involves renouncing the sin of a victim mindset.
Question: How easy can it be for a victim mentality and self-pity to creep in? How do you help someone who has self-pity working in their life? (Feel free to comment below.)
Comments: How Jesus Addressed the Victim Mentality.
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October 1, 2014
#022: Seven Thoughts that Can Make Us Sick
In today’s episode, I will address the 7 thoughts that can make us sick and keep us sick. I want to help you get free from some of these toxic thoughts that can affect your body negatively, so you can get free!
Listen to the Audio:
Announcements:
2014 Survey: markdejesus.com/2014
7 Weeks of Happiness: Begins Sunday October 5 at 5PM (Ramada East Hartford, CT)
Feature Presentation: 7 Thoughts that Can Make Us Sick
In today’s episode, I want to help you take back wholeness in your life, by uncovering 7 kinds of thoughts that can make you sick and keep you sick.
Fear
ACTION STEP: Let God’s love cast out fear. Face the fear.
Unforgiveness & Bitterness
ACTION STEP: Forgive and release everyone.
Unresolved Anger
ACTION STEP: Let go. Let go of bitterness, control, stress, pressure.
Article Recommendation: What Your Anger Says About You
Unhealed Brokeness
ACTION STEP: Let God’s love heal your heart.
Unloving Thoughts Regarding Yourself
ACTION STEP: Make a decision to love and accept yourself in God’s love.
Guilt
ACTIONS STEP: Release yourself and accept God’s forgiveness.
Hopeless and Despairing Thoughts
ACTIONS STEP: Let love bring hope back to life.
Any of these thoughts in your life?
You can get free by breaking the agreement with them.
Have questions regarding this episode? Feel free to comment below or use the Ask Mark page to get some answers!
Comments: #022: Seven Thoughts that Can Make Us Sick.
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September 29, 2014
When the Pursuit of Freedom Becomes Rebellion
Events of the 1960s resulted in a wave of reactions against authority and leadership. Dubbed a freedom movement, many flocked to gatherings, listened to songs and read books that spread the message of “love and peace.” This trend, however, was not a freedom movement, but further plunged people into bondage. In this case the bondage of rebellion led people into a deeper place of brokenness, where they were then even more shut off from true healing.
Broken Hearts Lead to Rebellion
The heart of the matter was that millions of young people carried broken hearts in relation to their parents and authority figures. Instead of receiving proper healing and making the necessary adjustments, pride came in and an entire movement spread that poisoned the land with new levels of rebellion. While everyone chanted “freedom” the brokenness of the heart went further underground and unaddressed.
The heart of the matter was that millions of young people carried broken hearts in relation to their parents and authority figures.
Teenagers and young people are often labeled with seasons of rebellion in their life. Although this is true, I deal with more potent rebellion in adults than anywhere in life. Rebellion keeps any church or organization from moving forward in unity. Even though all authority structures have their flaws, God works very strongly in the order of leadership to fulfill His purpose. Rebellion defies and undermines this leadership.
Most rebellion is simply the result of unresolved brokenness that has been made worse by self-reliance, independence and separation from relationships. The root of rejection fuels this as a defense mechanism and an easy way to keep people at a distance. Those who rebel are not as strong as they appear. They are often very broken and weak, but are not willing to admit or reveal it. Instead, the enemy keeps resistance within them preventing them from having healthy relationships with authority.
These authority figures often carry the blessing needed for them to go further. This is why many people often remain stuck in their walk. They have been hurt by authority. Instead of receiving healing while still honoring authority, they run in hurt and anger from their leaders and any other leadership covering. They fail to see that they are actually running from the ability to be blessed.
Instead of receiving healing while still honoring authority, they run in hurt and anger from their leaders and any other leadership covering.
Independant Mindsets
Where I minister, I see this rebellion often in the independence it fosters. Americans love the idea of being self-made, independent entrepreneurs who can do it on their own. There’s nothing wrong with working hard on your own, but when rebellion is at work, no one comes together in unity and leadership cannot do its job.
I have people come up to me all the time; sharing about the great exploits they are pursuing. I hear about new ministry ventures, churches and business prospects they have in mind. Yet there is a common thread in the majority of these cases. They are doing this all on their own with no connection to leadership. When they start a business, they receive no mentoring. When they start a church, they don’t gain any input or instruction from an apostolic person. They talk about starting a new ministry, while saying a dozen times, “My ministry, My calling, My thing, I am on My own…”
Something is wrong with this picture. The more people seem to be talking about their calling, the more it seems to be about independent rebellion than it is about pursuing a healthy calling. When was the last time you heard someone say, “My calling is to serve this business and help add value to it in every way,” or “I know God has called me to serve this pastor and help the mission God has put on his heart.” Its very rare. It’s always about, “My thing, my calling, my church, my, my, my.”
In nine out of ten of these scenarios, someone is hurt. They are responding to that hurt of not being validated, recognized or cared for and are now starting something else independently because of that unresolved hurt. Rebellious pride keeps them from healing the past relational rifts and they pursue something on their own. Not too long after, their passion for “their” pursuits burns out.
Giving Room for the “False”
Many false prophets and false teachers carry a spirit of rejection that has led them into doctrinal teachings that are off base and unscriptural. They end up leading cults and ministries that have no value for other churches. They have a powerful gifting or anointed work, but their rejection roots taint their effectiveness and allow the doctrine of devils to cloud their ministry.
Many who teach false doctrine are often people who have zero leadership input into their life. All pioneer leaders in ministry have a great sense of loneliness in plowing the new territory they are pursuing. But the work of God can become stifled if they are not open to healthy input from someone in stable authority. In my conviction, the best place to receive this kind of covering is someone who is established in one of the five spiritual offices—apostle, prophet, pastor, teacher or evangelist.
Many false prophets and false teachers carry a spirit of rejection that has led them into doctrinal teachings that are off base and Unscriptural.
Key Issue = Relational Brokeness
This rebellion often all goes back to a wounded heart. I remember Josh McDowell taught that “Rules without relationships leads to rebellion.” This is very true. When a proper loving relationship is not established in some one’s life, they become open to reacting to any correction or instruction with rebellion; either through withdrawal or non-compliance to instruction.
So how do we begin addressing the rebellion that creeps up in our culture? By increasing loving relationship, thereby giving the atmosphere needed for healing of the heart. Our gut reaction often involves a power struggle, where leaders can use muscle, threats or increased rules to deal with the increased rebellion.
We often react to rebellion by upping the rules and regulations, which can often add fuel to the fire of rebellion that is already burning. Rules are not evil, but they are not THE answer. Rules can only work properly in the midst of established relationship. Without it, rebellion will only continue to rise. Our response to rebellion needs to be patient investment in relationship, where we give God room to change the hearts of people.
Comments: When the Pursuit of Freedom Becomes Rebellion.
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September 26, 2014
What Your Anger Says About You
Everyone faces the issue of anger in their life; whether its anger that lashes out at someone, anger that is pent up inside or anger you wear on your face. Unresolved anger can become a very deadly poison in a person’s life. It can rob them of peace, healthy relationships and can be a leading cause in the body’s breakdown. A great deal of inflammation in the body can be caused by an unending work of deep seated anger; affecting the cardiovascular system, immune system, joints and other body systems negatively.
Admitting you get angry or have anger battles is the first step.
But what does the anger battles you have say about you? Here are some clear insights you can understand about yourself when it comes to the anger that is working in your life.
1. You Have Passion
There is anger there most likely because you have a passion, opinion or strong conviction about an issue or many issues. Congratulations, you have some convictions about life and how things could be better. Anger at first is not always sinful. In fact, the Bible even says in Ephesians 4:26, “be angry … but do not sin.” In other words, unresolved or unharnessed anger can be deadly, but when it first rises up, it’s a sign that you have some passion.
Utilizing that passion for good, to bring change to what stirs your heart can be a great thing. For many, their anger wiped them out into an emotional coma, because they were tired of feeling their anger and subsequently shut down. This often means they did nothing about addressing the anger and using that passion to help bring change to the world.
What makes you angry? Quite often that anger links to something you are passionate about that God can use you to bring change to.
2. You Have Hurt
The reason anger is flaring up is often because of hurt that lies within the heart. Anger quite often comes in to defend our deep places of hurt. What you are angry about leads a trail back to a place of hurt in your life that may not be resolved just yet.
We often take out anger on a person or situation, when in reality, the anger is not really about them, its about an unresolved hurt that is finding any target to lash at. These past hurts often go back to father wounds, mother wounds or relational breaches that have never been healed before God.
3. You May Have Bitterness
Anger is a part of the armor of bitterness and has a goal to create a toxic world in your life and relationships. Bitterness seeks to defile you and everyone around you; doing so by taking areas of anger and keeping them festering in your life so that you damage others and erode your own inner peace.
Bitterness links up when we do not resolve our anger issues. For example, the Bible teaches in Ephesians 4:26 us to not let the sun go down on our wrath. When we go to bed angry without any attempt to heal, we will have bitterness at work in the morning when we get up. Slowly but surely, this bitter root will take shape and create a toxicity in your spirit, soul and body.
There’s nothing wrong with being a little angry about something at first, but when it stays without release, forgiveness and resolution, we have an enemy within called bitterness.
4. You Have an Idol
Because anger ties back to a hurt, it is important to understand that the anger you struggle with is often protecting and defending the hurt in your life. Whenever someone does not meet the desires of your need or violates the emotional expectation you have on them, anger rises up to demand that people pay attention to what bothers you. This anger is defending a stronghold that becomes idolatrous. In other words, you cannot function unless that particular expectation you have be met in your surroundings.
For example, you may have control issues in your life, because having a sense of control makes you feel “safe.” When people make you feel out of control, anger rises up against them. Why does the anger rise up? Because deep down inside, there is an idolatrous place that says, “You have to stay within my realm of control in order for me to feel safe.” This keeps you locked from ever getting free from your anger battles.
At the end of the day, we cannot let anger come and rule our sense of well being. In the love of God, we must learn to cast down those stubborn places that guard our hurts and let God heal our pain. When God heals our hurts, we lose the need to defend those wounded places. Instead, we allow Him to heal so that we trust in Him to become our protector, our deliverer and our source.
Question: What helps you to overcome areas of anger in your life?
Comments: What Your Anger Says About You.
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