Mark DeJesus's Blog, page 117
September 30, 2015
#075: Improving Brain Function [Podcast]
![#075- Improving Brain Function [Podcast]](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1443774261i/16409058.jpg)
On today’s episode, we talk about improving brain function and how to keep our minds working at top capacity. So many people share struggles with memory issues and brain fog. What are some ways we can improve our minds ability to work powerfully?
Our topic today stems from a question submitted by Chrissy Boling from Griswold, Connecticut:
Do you have a teaching geared towards improving memory, retention of info and clear recall of info. I struggle in this and need it gone. I would love hear some insight on how to get free of this struggle as it impacts me when testing as well as communicating well at times. Honestly it’s frustrating. Thank you, I cannot wait to hear what you and Melissa have to say about this.
Recommended Resource:
(Note: Turning Hearts Ministries Partners Have this teaching on the THM Partner Site)
On today’s episode, we talk about:
The mind’s ability to renew into new thoughts.
Key factors that prevent us from experiencing powerful brain function.
Gain keys and tools to developing a power brain function.
Question: After listening to this week’s episode, which points were helpful for you? Use the comments section below.
Listen by Using the Player Below or with the Following Platforms



The post #075: Improving Brain Function [Podcast] appeared first on Mark DeJesus | Transformed You.
September 28, 2015
Five Things God Says “Never” To

Sometimes we can be really dramatic. One thing goes wrong in the day and we yell out, “I’m never going to break through!” or “I will never catch a break.” We quickly throw out the “nevers,” in a negative way.
God has some “nevers” for you, but they are empowering “nevers,” not the defeating ones.
God has a few “nevers” that are actually encouraging promises to build our faith and help us overcome. These are declarations we can know about God and our journey to help propel us into victory.
1. You are Never Alone
A battle becomes a million times harder when you feel alone in it. And many people, in their toughest of battles, feel alone, despite the fact that there can even be people around who say they love you and want to be a help. The truth is, only God can fill the core place of emptiness in our hearts.
This is not to discount the value of relationships, for they are indeed a benefitial aid in life. Many things can be overcome when you know there are people in support. But in the end, the heart of an overcomer can only be build when our source is built on the never ending presence of Christ, who said He’d NEVER leave us or forsake us. He also said He’s NEVER leave us as orphans.
During battles, we feel alone. We think we are the only ones going through this. Our faith is challenged. It is in these times that we trust He is there. This is what can usher in the greatest victories in our lives.
2. You never have to stay the same.
The past can easily define us if we do not get healed from it. Many become crippled by their past. The shame of mistakes or character issues follow them and haunt their hearts. I have even watched some people feel completely disqualified from making a difference in life because of their past mess ups.
Yet God is such a redemptive God. He takes the biggest messes and can breathe new life into them. Do not hold yourself to an image of what you were yesterday, because the good news is, in God, you are always able to change each day.
I am glad I am not the same person as I was yesterday.
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I am glad I am not the same person as I was yesterday. Sometimes I met people who knew me from when I was younger. They try to address me according to my old or immature ways. Because of God’s grace, I don’t even recognize who they are talking to, because I am not that same person. In God, you never have to stay the same, no matter what your past holds.
In God, you never have to stay the same, no matter what your past holds.
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God never holds you prisoner to your current condition. He always has an invitation for growth. From glory to glory, He desires to change us.
God never holds you prisoner to your current condition. He always has an invitation for growth.
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3. You are Never Without Options.
In today’s climate, many are struggling with hopelessness. The temptation to quit or bail out is enormous. Yet through it all, God is calling for the heart of the overcomers; those who refuse to quit and stay the course no matter what.
When we develop hopelessness in our hearts, we become victims to life and things become stagnant. A victim is convinced that there are no options available. But I have learned in life that there are options always available to me. Here are those options:
1) The choice of my attitude. My attitude is always my choice.
2) The foundation I will stand on. I can choose what to rely upon.
3) I can choose to be open to an idea I may not have thought of yet.
4) I can choose to try again.
5) I can choose to not quit.
Overcomers know how to hang in there. We are never left alone. We never have to stay the same and we are never without options.
Everything God does has hope in it. So if you are living in a way of thinking that has hope lost, then God’s not in it.
If you are living in a way of thinking that has hope lost, then God’s not in it.
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4. You are never done.
“I am done with this!”
“I cannot take it anymore.”
We make these declarative statements all the time in relationships and life. We also beat ourselves up, because the flaws, sins and weaknesses many of us are working through. But we seem to forget something very simple…we are not finished.
When Jesus died on the cross and declared, “It is finished” His work was finished. But you aren’t. You are in process. You are growing from glory to glory. You are being changed. The moment you get upset because you haven’t arived, thank God that His mercy is new this morning. Go out there and walk with a new sense of victory. Get excitred about your growth in knowing there is more to experience!
Romans 8:28 tell us that all things work together for good in the end. If its not good, its not the end.
5. God never breaks His promises.
Throughout my life, I have found one of the greatest aspects of God is His faithfulness. When I look back at times I thought He was not there, I see He was; working for my benefit and leading me into stages of change. Quite often its hard to see in the middle of a trial, but His faithfulness is something you and I can rely on continually.
You can be certain that God never breaks a promise. That is why in order to overcome, we need to be careful students of His Word, where He lays out His covenant promises towards us who believe. Those promises are intact and will come to pass. We just need to remember that He never breaks His promises.
Question: Which of these five do you find to be the most helpful? What would you add to this list?
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September 26, 2015
Overcoming Thoughts that Make You Feel Crazy

For many years, I struggled with persistent thoughts that made me feel crazy and oppressed. They were thoughts that were incredibly tormenting and seemed to always lurking around the corner. I walked with a great deal of fear and paranoia and what these thoughts would say; or when they would oppress me the most. As someone with a sensitive heart, I was often vulnerable to various thoughts that would project fearful events, feelings and situations about what I could end up doing or what someone could end up doing to me.
If we put down our facades and get honest, these tormenting kind of thoughts plague everyone to some degree or another. We as a society do not often know how to deal with them, while millions walk around in hidden shame because of strange thoughts they have inside that torment them. I personally believe that over time, some people are so ravaged by their tormenting thoughts, they eventually give in and act on them, thinking it must be the only way to relieve themselves of the torment.
I have helped myself and many people overcome these unrelenting thoughts, not only to gain ground against them, but to actually overcome them for good. Those who felt there was no hope where given tools to take back their sanity. Some of these tormenting thoughts people have had involved:
afraid of interacting with the same sex, thinking something sexual might occur
thinking they may have accidentally asked the devil to be their lord or in some way
being afraid of touching a sharp object, because they might be tempted to hurt someone
thinking they may have blasphemed the Holy Spirit
being afraid to interact with the same sex, fearing homosexual tendencies
that somehow they may hurt their child
they may do something to jeopardize their marriage.
they may commit some dreadful and unholy action
These are just some of them, but there are plenty more. Any thought that does not produce righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit is a form of insanity.
None of these thoughts were what they wanted to be or do, yet they had projections in their minds that caused them to consider, “maybe this is just the way I am.” They walk with great guilt, fear and condemnation because of it. They may attempt to talk to someone about it, but then regret ever bringing it up, because of the shame they felt in sharing. Staying in secret only empowers these thoughts further. Most life in a dark and silent prison.
These tormenting thoughts are simply satan’s way of stealing our peace; convincing us that we have no control over these thoughts. Over time, hope wanes and our confidence in stolen.
Satan’s army works daily to give people thoughts that seem so real, without realizing they are being fed these thoughts from an invisible enemy. For many, the next conclusion is to act on these thoughts to gain a sense of relief, while others remain in a prison of what the imaginations portray in their minds.
We forget to realize that having a thought that is not from God is simply temptation. Many people do not realize that you will have every thought imaginable come your way during your lifetime—especially the ones that have been troublesome in your family tree. Yet just because you have a thought, does not mean you are that thought. You can establish your heart and separate yourself from the thoughts that you do not want to be a part of your identity. This is what taking thoughts captive can really do for you in your journey.
Yet just because you have a thought, does not mean you are that thought.
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Many of us can believe some lies regarding these crazy thoughts:
I need to listen to these thoughts, as they might be telling me something. Many people live in such a way that thoughts come and they react to them. Instead, we need to be initiating what the thought world in our lives is going to be. Don’t wait for life to tell you what to think. You set the atmosphere for what you will meditate and focus on.
If you keep thinking about these thoughts, eventually you will figure it out. Not at all. Whatever you focus on the most will grow, so mulling over these tormenting thoughts will not bring you to a greater conclusion, but press you into further torment.
There is a thread of truth in it, so I need to listen. This one gets us tripped up the most. When satan comes with his accusing thoughts, he does not speak in an outside voice in your mind. The thought comes as though its your own voice. He is the father of lies, but he rarely puts a bold face lie on your lap. He often takes some shred of fact and wraps in a bunch of insanity. Seeing the fact in your thoughts is the bait to draw you in to further torment. Next thing you know, you are off in the land of fear over a thought system you need not feed.
The thought says something about who you are. You may have a thought, but this does not mean you are the thought. You may have an angry thought, but this does not make you an angry person, unless you want to be. You may have a lust-filled thought, but that does not mean you are lust person, unless you want to come into agreement with that.
The first step in getting free is establishing who you and what your heart’s desire is. Don’t just follow whatever is your heart—lead your heart. Declare what you want to live by. Over time, learning the discipline of leading your heart will effectively establish your identity.
Don’t just follow whatever is your heart—lead your heart.
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Don’t expect freedom to arrive without a fight. The best thing to do about troubling thoughts is to remove the fear factor. Don’t allow yourself to be afraid. Let the thought come and go at the same time. The more we become afraid of thoughts that come our way, the more we empower the enemy.
Don’t expect freedom to arrive without a fight.
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When the enemy shows up with crazy thoughts to tempt you—just let him keeping on walking by. Hold up a sign that says, “No vacancy.”
I have my peace back. The enemy stole it for years and I lived in a private prison. You can be free today too. Take your stand.
Recommended Resource:
The post Overcoming Thoughts that Make You Feel Crazy appeared first on Mark DeJesus | Transformed You.
September 23, 2015
#074: Why Do People Keep Hurting Me? [Podcast]
![#074- Why Do People Keep Hurting Me- [Podcast]](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1443225341i/16334655.jpg)
This week’s episode focuses on the subject, “Why Do People Keep Hurting Me?” Do you feel like you have been working on healthy relationships and can’t seem to break free of the old ones? Do you have continual pain in relationships that does not change? Do you keep attracting unhealthy people? This episode is for you!
We also address two questions that came in; one on mental illness and the other on being ashamed of Christ.
Jaso Mitchell from Connecticut
Here’s a great Biblical question is mental illness caused by denial of sin in your conscience?
Anonymous Question
My question is this, how does an American Christian act “unashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ” when the fact that many oppressed nations face death for professing the name of Jesus? It seems to cause many free Christians shame from not being unashamed enough….
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September 21, 2015
4 Things You Need to Quit Today

When it comes to quitting, there are many slogan, sayings and motivational messages that encourage people to not quit. I wholeheartedly agree with those encouragements, especially because I love raising up people to live as overcomers. In fact, I spend a lot of my invested time helping people to not give up.
But are there some things that we should quit on? Absolutely.
I want to share four things you need to quit doing as soon as you can. Today … right now … immediately.
Here are those four things you need to stop doing:
1. Quit Beating Yourself Up.
If I was to walk into the minds of people these days, I would have to call family services to come and arrest them, because most people’s thoughts about themselves are not kind. Most of their self-talk is actually abusive. Filled with guilt, shame and regret, we listen to these thoughts and pound at ourselves in hate, contempt and rejection. Many people are so familiar with this toxic world of thought that they don’t know otherwise.
Most people’s self-talk is very abusive.
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God did not design us to bear under these kinds of thoughts. He made our bodies to live in thoughts based on love, especially patience and kindness. Thoughts that are unloving towards ourselves become very deadly. They kill our health and destroy our sanity. Yet millions of people listen to thoughts that are so harsh and try to do things out of those unloving impulses.
How many of you are walking around living under thoughts that beat you up, put tremendous pressure and oppress your joy? Today, quit listening to any thought that is not kind and empowering towards yourself.
2. Quit Investing in People Who Don’t Want to Be Helped.
The energy of so many is being wasted as they invest countless hours into someone who is not interested in changing, but remaining a victim. Many good intentioned people get sucked into the vortex of victim community, helping people who are so used to their dysfunctional life they wont hear about entering into a new life by their own choices. They choose by their decisions to remain in their junk. Those who live as victims look to prey off loved ones and friends to affirm their victim state and continue to pour into that mindset.
I have even ministered to so many who have gotten mentally fried and even physically sick, coming out of the defilement and false burden bearing they got lured into. Guilt is a massive motivator, because it disguises itself as good intention, compassion and love. But its not. Guilt will motivate you to help those who are not really interested in changing. Its time to let them go. Release them to God and be available, but don’t carry this weight anymore.
This means we have to let go of performance, striving and people pleasing. We have to let go of trying to change other people when they are not doing their part at all. We cannot take the sins of others into our own bodies.
My motto in helping people is that I cannot want their healing and transformation more than they do. The other person has to want it more. The more they want it, the more I will be an added help to their life.
You cannot want someone’s healing more than they do.
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3. Quit Investing So Much Time in Something You Are Not Called To.
When you’re off your gift and calling, it is extremely taxing and frustrating. This doesn’t mean that living in your calling and gift mix does not have trouble. There is a ton of resistance that will come against you breaking into your divine destiny. The problem is I watch so many people investing in something they are not clearly called to.
The Bible says that your gift makes room for you. (Proverbs 18:16) This means that as you stir up your gifting, there will be open doors for that gift to land, providing you keep a humble heart and walk in the character of God in your life. There will be a witness in the body of Christ as to what is operating in and through you. This is not just talent, but supernatural grace flowing through in specific areas of assignment on your life.
The most challenging conversations I have is with people who are clearly not in their calling lane. The biggest sign of someone who says they are called to something, but it is not evident, is really simple: They are not doing NOW what they say they are called to do. For example, they say they are going to minister to youth all over the world, but they don’t minister to the young person right next to them. They claim they are going to minister to nations, but wont help out in their church’s mission work. They talk about teaching to crowds, but they don’t put effort into teaching the small group they are involved with.
The most challenging conversations I have is with people who are clearly not in their calling lane.
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The problem is that we don’t value who we are and who we are made to be. So we often chase something for the feeling and esteem we think that position will bring. We end up chasing something that is not us.
Don’t get me wrong, going after what God has called you to do takes a life of investment. You will go through disappointments, rejection and seasons of silence, where not fruit seems to happen. But in the end, God releases grace to what He has called you to do. If someone says they are called to something, but they are not stewarding that dream in what they are doing now with people, I wonder if thats really the lane they are called into.
Sometimes in stepping into what we are called to do, we have to let go of what we know we are just not called to.
4. Quit Waiting for Life to Just Fall on You and Bless You.
The classic mistake among many involves one of the biggest Christian excuses of all time–“I am just waiting on the Lord.” The meaning of this phrase has lots its meaning with so many, becoming a colloquialism to cover up the fact that we are really doing nothing.
Waiting on God is not passive, but very active. We spend a lot of time growing in who we are, preparing the grid of our lives for where we see Him calling us and investing in the soil we are in now. Most live in a world of passivity; waiting for the call, waiting for the money to come in and waiting for a open door.
Waiting on God is not passive, but very active.
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Yet God is looking for people, who when He looks upon us, finds us busy about His work in people’s lives. It is in that atmosphere of activated faith that He adds His blessing and increases favor over our lives.
If you are waiting on the Lord, then you are going to fill your day building the grid to house what you sense God is pouring into your life.
Question: Which one of these four things do you need to quit today?
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September 16, 2015
#073: A New Season for Us [Podcast]

On this week’s episode, Melissa and I share some of the big changes that are taking place in our life and ministry. We are so thrilled to share with you the many things that God is leading us into.
For a more detailed writeup of our latest change, please click on the following link:
Article: A New Season for the DeJesus Family
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Click Here for the THM Partnership Web Site
For information on receiving help and personal coaching, click on the link below:
11 Ways I Can be of Help to You
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September 9, 2015
#072: Getting to the Root of Pornography & Other Destructive Addictions [Podcast]
![#072- Getting to the Root of Pornography & Other Destructive Addictions [Podcast]](https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/hostedimages/1441876566i/16163458.jpg)
In today’s episode, we delve into the world of pornography and other destructive habits–getting to the root of why people struggle with these habits and how they can walk into freedom. Part of the reason we are not getting free is that we are not getting to the root system of the problem.
Question from Stan and Glenna Bourne from Alaska
I would love to hear you guys talk about overcoming deeply entrenched destructive habits. My wife and I are recovery pastors from North Pole, Alaska. We absolutely love your show. You guys are a blast! We talk often with people that have been exposed to pornography or drug use at a very early age. The struggle is so often that they cannot seem to truly connect with God or people in a meaningful way–a way that gives them the courage to break free. You have an amazing gift of giving language to the problem. Would love to hear your views in a practical way. We never miss an episode, you guys rock!!! You warm our chilly lives here in North Pole.
Listen to the episode and check out the insights Mark and Melissa share.
Resources Recommended:
Book: Exposing the Rejection Mindset
Article: Getting to the Root of Pornography Addiction
Listen by Using the Player Below or with the Following Platforms



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September 7, 2015
Getting to the Root of Pornography Addiction

In over 20 years of helping people, pornography addiction was the hidden habit that plagues so many. They live in a secret prison of shame while they struggle to overcome. No one is exempt to facing this issue, not matter their status, position or way they cover up. The common thread I noticed with people who battled is they attempt every tactic available to get free, often with little long term success. Most will get free for a couple weeks. Maybe a guy gets caught by his wife, so out of fear he doesn’t engage porn; until weeks later, they fall into it again. The reason is, they are never getting to the root of the issue.
I myself had little success in overcoming the temptations or helping others get free effectively . . . until I got to the root of this addiction. Once I got to the root system, that monster got slayed from my life. I am grateful that I was able to enter into marriage without that dragon interfering with my life.
What’s the Root?
It is very important to know that all sexual addictions, including pornography are rooted in an excessive need to be loved that begins with a root of rejection. Rejection is a mindset that enters when we have not been loved and affirmed in our identity. This breeds and unmet void that can only be filled with the love of God. Rejection turns your eyes to a counterfeit fix–porn. Yet this habit never fulfills the longing of a person’s heart.
This rejection root arises out of a person’s lack of feeling loved, accepted and valued. Rejection thrives off of people who struggle with identity and have little love and value for themselves. This rejection usually comes into a person’s life through lack of a father’s love being established in the heart. When love has not been formed properly in someone’s life, rejection trains a person to look some kind of fix or rush to fill the void.
Removing the Fuel that Keeps the Desire Alive
Rejection messes with your desires, making you a slave to lust. When the rejection root is recognized and cleansed more and more out of a person’s life, the desire for pornography or sexual fantasy will lose its hold. Becoming delivered from sexual sin issues is not about chaining yourself down, but by actually filling your heart with what one really longs for—love, acceptance and identity. Rejection has taught people that pornography or sleeping around will fill something within; in reality it is never truly satisfying.
Uprooting rejection will begin to take away the continual drive that comes to get a person searching for that rush. When the love of God comes to satisfy a person’s heart, they experience the relief that the sanctifying power of God provides in our life. It’s not about just running from the lust, it’s about facing it and allowing love to replace it.
I have witnessed men try to add web filters or take all their pornography and throw it in the dumpster, only later to find the person uninstalling the filter and the other guy hanging over the dumpster getting his magazines back. When the addiction urge engages, the person will do anything it takes to find that sexual fix.
This is why people end up spiraling down into all kinds of perversions. It all began with unchecked desires that were never replaced with the love and acceptance of God. We cannot defeat this stronghold with pure will and self-help. We must fight lust with what rejection has stolen—a revelation of the love of God in the form of acceptance, validation and approval.
When rejection is removed and God’s love comes in, desire begins to slowly change. A longing for the purity of God becomes established in a person’s heart. Instead of just spending your life running from pornography, God can come and shift the desires in your heart, so that you no longer long for it. This is what deliverance from rejection does, it allows you to love yourself and take your peace in the love of God. When I help people with sexual addiction, I don’t even address lust in the beginning. We are going to face their rejection issues. Cut the root system and the desire for porn will slowly lose its hold.
Begin your freedom by getting the book, “Exposing the Rejection Mindset.”
The post Getting to the Root of Pornography Addiction appeared first on Mark DeJesus | Transformed You.
September 4, 2015
7 Parental Traps Stemming from Brokenness

As a growing parent, I am continually in the fast lane of learning every day what it means to be an effective parent. So much wisdom is needed, and nothing can fully prepare you for the journey ahead. I find I am in a constant laboratory of growth, learning what is effective and what is a hinderance.
I find that so many parents are working overtime in their pursuit to be “great parents.” They immerse themselves into learning the strategies and techniques that will help them win the “parent of the century” award. Yet one of the things that is often ignored when it comes to hinderances of effective parenting is a big one–our own unresolved brokeness.
It is important to recognize when we are parenting our children, not for their own good, but out of our own brokenness. This is not something to beat ourselves up with, for every parent has areas of brokenness that effect their present behaviors. Sometimes we can be so focused on what is happening with our children that we are unaware of our own junk that is effecting the situation the most.
It can really be helpful if we recognize that brokenness and let God work in it. If not, our sense of discernment can become diluted and our junk can easily become transposed on how we raise the children God has placed in our care.
Here are some of the common parental traps we can fall into that stem from our unresolved brokenness.
1. Living your lost dreams through your children.
This is by far the biggest trap of all, because areas of brokenness tend to be the raw nerves that we pay attention to in life. The mindset can become, “I do not want whatever happened to me to ever happen to our children.” Of course this comes from a great motivation, but it creates an overcompensating. We may have had a bad experience in sports growing up, so we push our kids to excel so they achieve higher than we did. We put a lot of energy into having our kids involved in a million activities and driving them to become the best in everything. What’s the motive? Is it really out of wanting the best or because of our own hurt? Its tough to discern this when you carry unresolved brokenness.
2. Parenting your children out of fear.
The enemy loves to use fear to motivate us as parents to fall into some dysfunctional patterns as parents. Here are some of the behaviors we can fall into:
controlling parenting: where instead of equipping our children to grow and learn to make solid decisions on their own, we police every thing they do in the hopes of protecting them from making wrong decisions.
helicopter parenting: this involves the constant monitoring and observing of every move your child makes, with no gradual building of trust and learning to release them.
bubble-boy parenting: making decisions based more on protecting them from ever being hurt or disappointed. We fail to realize that we often learn the most from our mistakes and shortcomings.
3. Failing to see the struggles they inherited from you.
When our children are acting goofy, we often approach them as though we never had that problem in our own life. We become an authority presence to them as though we’ve never had those same difficult experiences ourselves. This creates a hypocritical environment that over time, children can see.
In addition, we forget that our children are direct inheritors of many of our traits. They carry our personality traits, bodily features and unfortunately, our sin issues too. Sometimes the best thing to do when you see your child operating in a way of thinking that is not of God, is to first recognize that issue in your own life first. This could be the first step in breaking the sin cycle that may be running through your family. You may be upset that your daughter is lying to you all the time, but was this a similar issue in your life growing up? Just because you grew out of it doesn’t mean that battle is not going to rise up in your child. Recognizing this helps us to come to our children strategically, not just with a lecture and anger.
4. Trying to be the perfect parent.
We have to learn this right away, but it still torments so many parents. How often do we try to be perfect in how we parent, giving no room for mistakes. Many people who carry brokenness try to resolve it by doing everything right in their parenting. This creates a deep level of stress in your life and it also keeps you from admitting when you’ve made a mistake or been off the mark in your parenting.
Is there a brokenness within that drives us to make our family look like we are great and successful? Are you trying so hard to be a model family worth following, but it torments you? Do we create images in our communication to impress people about our life, when really we have deep brokenness driving the whole journey?
Quite honestly, your weaknesses and struggles are often more effective towards encouraging others than all your appearances of “looking perfect.” It’s important that you release yourself from being a perfect parent and become a parent that is being perfected as you learn from your mistakes.
5. Doing stuff with them instead of just being with them.
Today’s parents are the busiest I have ever seen, and much of this is self-inflicted. We think that in order for our family to be great, we need to keep our children as busy as possible. So we book up our calendar with “stuff” to do with our kids, yet at the end of the day, have we actually been with them?
Sometimes the most valuable moments are the times our children get our full attention and our full heart; where we connect with them and build relationship. I had to learn this one right off the jump, where i quickly realized that the greatest gift I can give my children in relationship is to be present with them and engage their life.
6. Trying to be their friend.
Unresolved brokenness will teach us to act as a friend more than we do a parent. We do not want them to be angry with us. This can undermine the authority God has placed in our lives as parents, especially when we have to make tough decisions regarding discipline and steps our family will take.
It can also can bring confusion, where as our children grow, they do not come under authority figures in life very well.
7. Immersing your identity completely in being a parent.
How often do parents push down their own brokenness and immerse their identity completely into just being a parent? Only to find decades later when their kids have left the home, they have no idea who they are?
Many parents even put in more investment to their children than they do to their marriage. The subtle lie I see people give into says, “I will always be my child’s parent. I may not always be my spouse’s mate.” This already sets us up for an improper order in the home. The marriage always come first, before the children.
But we can often get lost in neglecting our marriage for the sake of parenting. We can also lose sight of our own identity while we get lost in the daily tasks of raising our kids.
It can be a very subtle temptation to lose ourselves in parenting our children, while not cultivating a healthy relationship ourselves with God, in who we are as His kids.
The greatest power I have found in parenting, is when I learn myself to be a love child of my Father in heaven. When I learn to live as a son before Him, my parenting skyrockets. Because my core identity is not a parent….I am a son. Out of that flows everything else.
I could list a bunch more, but we’ll start with these 7 . . .
Question: Which pattern do you see occurring the most? What would you add to this list?
The post 7 Parental Traps Stemming from Brokenness appeared first on Mark DeJesus | Transformed You.
September 2, 2015
#071: Questions on Gossip, Rebellious Children & Pigs [Podcast]

In this week’s episode, we take a variety of questions, touching on the subject of gossip, while addressing rebellious children. We also talk about evil spirits in Jesus day, especially the legion that went into the pigs.
Check out the episode and let us know if you have more questions!
Question on Gossip:
Can you define what gossip is and how we can make sure we are not doing it. How do we talk to others or vent about others who make us hurt or upset but making sure we are not gossiping about them. Where is the line?
Question on Evil Spirits & Mark 5:
Carrie Ann Torzsa from South Carolina
In Mark 5 when Jesus casts out legion, why did they ask to NOT leave the region? And when Jesus cast them into the pigs, did He know they would throw themselves off the cliff?
Legion: a body of soldiers whose number differed at different times, and in the time of Augustus seems to have consisted of 6826 men (i. e. 6100 foot soldiers, and 726 horsemen)
About 2,000 swine.
Question on Parenting a Rebellious Child:
My question for you is this, how do you pursue relationship with an adult child who is in rebellion without that pursuit coming off as approval for their lifestyle?
Question: How well do you think the questions were addressed? Do you have more questions you would like to bring out? Comment below.
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The post #071: Questions on Gossip, Rebellious Children & Pigs [Podcast] appeared first on Mark DeJesus | Transformed You.