Dunstan Ayodele Stober's Blog, page 3

Don’t Be Insane: 2023 Will Be The Same Unless you Stop Making New Year Resolutions

Try These 8 Tips to Experience a Different and Better Year

“And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon the tables, that he may run that readeth it.” —  Hab 2:2

Photo by Katerina Holmes

We heard it to the point it has become a cliché. The slight in the does not diminish the fact in this statement.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”

Yet, we continue making ineffective New Year resolutions expecting they will work “this time.”

I stopped making resolutions on 31 December, about nine years ago. It was no consolation when I found Marla Tabaka quoting in an Inc. Life newsletter that:

“According to U.S. News & World Report, the failure rate for New Year’s resolutions is said to be about 80 percent, and most lose their resolve by mid-February.”

This stat means 20% of us deserve some kudos for finding the Midas touch of this annual ritual. For the rest of us, it has been a yearly practice of planning and praying. Others may have given up the idea, whilst some of us have tried different systems, techniques and tools.

I am in the latter group. Over the last five years, I have failed and succeeded in others. And the most effective tool I have found is the life plan workbook by Mind Tools. This tool provides a holistic approach to planning with a much longer-term view.

But the life book in its various versions is only a tool. Through multiple iterations and observation of different habits, I found the following eight tips to be the most critical in determining how my years turned out.

1) Developing a growth mindset

We are bound to get better with consistent practice. IQ and talent will get you started. Consistent practice will ensure you improve. Believe there is room for improvement with practice.

2) Practising saying “No”

Warren Buffet attributes his success to this — “Simple. I just say NO to everything that is not absolutely vital to me at the moment.” Don’t try to do everything and avoid saying yes to everything for fear of sounding selfish. Know what is important.

3) Reviewing, revising and resetting priorities

Your priorities are not cast in stone or signed in blood. Regularly review your goals, targets and priorities to ensure they are still valid and relevant. In these times of rapid change, our agility and ability to adapt will be crucial to our success.

4) Knowing that ignorance is not bliss

Also, to be agile and adaptable, we must be able to identify trends and patterns to help us predict what will be relevant in the future. Not knowing might lead to avoidable dangers. Read, learn and adapt.

5) Doing the work

A plan on paper is only a dream. Results require deliberate and decisive action. And we must cultivate talent and skill to unlock our potential.

6) Accepting failure as part of the process

The fear of failure can cripple us and prevent us from venturing into unknown paths. “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely.” — Henry Ford

7) Being patient with oneself

Set realistic goals. Give yourself time. Avoid quick fixes and instant gratification because building anything worthwhile and sustainable requires time. Appreciate what you have instead of wishing for what you don’t have.

8) Practising gratitude

Appreciate the small wins along the way. Don’t wait until you finish the book; celebrate every chapter. Don’t wait until you get that promotion; be thankful for every year completed successfully.

I am not suggesting that these eight habits are the silver bullet. But, I promise you, these habits have helped me successfully combine my career as a finance leader, an author, an entrepreneur, a father and a husband.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” — Wayne Dyer

If you want a change in 2023, I recommend you try these habits. Not only for a few days in Jan and Feb, but all year round, and even to the next.

I will be glad to hear from you during the year, and I will be happy to help you with your practical and actionable life plan.

Two (2) Book recommendations

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I believe our developing systems that will help us see things through will play a vital role in how 2023 and the rest of our life turns out. Pay attention to these two books.

a) Thinking in Systems by Donella H Meadows, Diana Wright

I found working in systems to be the best way of getting a lot done without overwhelming my mind.

Donella and Diana provide insights into the elements of a system, what influences it and how we can improve it. The strongest and best systems will need a plan B.

b) How to Stop Procrastination by Steve S. J. Scott

I admit it. I am easily distracted. And before I learnt that progress was more important, I was a perfectionist. These are two traits of a procrastinator. If you are serious about getting things done at the right time, I suggest you read Steve S. J. Scott’s book.

You will discover the eight possible reasons why we procrastinate, gain insight into the six causes of demotivation, and learn how to break down a task into smaller manageable tasks.

Three (3) Citations

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

Here are three quotes to constantly remind us to stay the course in 2023.

“It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” ― J. K. Rowling

“With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” ― Wayne Dyer

“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” ― Jim Rohn

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Seven Principles That Will Help You Build Resilience

“Enjoy the journey on your way to the destination.”

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”  — Heb 12:11

Photo by Allan Mas (on Pexels)

Have you ever struggled to rediscover your passion for something you loved or enjoyed? Or have you given up on pursuing a dream?

Six weeks ago, my cycling passion and my will to ride tested to their limit.

When I travelled home in June, I took my bicycle with me, hoping to put in a few rides when possible. Without a definite plan, I could manage only two short rides in three weeks. Feeling devastated, I left my bicycle behind, giving up on riding any time soon, if at all. I thought it would be best if I took up a new and easier sport that is less time-consuming, less expensive and not so physically demanding.

Three weeks turned into six, and then five months went by without any ride. The many attempts from my buddies failed to get me back on the bike. “I am too fat now. I don’t have a bike. Work is hectic.” These were a few of my many excuses.

“If you really want to do something, you will find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” — Jim Rohn

The Darvelo Tanzania 30 by 30 cycling challenge was my trigger. Ride at least 30KMs every day for 30 days. I bought a bike and signed up with a cycling coach.

I completed 853 km from 20 rides in 30 hours — almost half of what I have covered from Jan to date. Before my long layoff, I was hitting speeds north of 30 KMPH. During the challenge, I could barely hit 28 KMPH. My backside was on fire in the first week. And I could hardly feel my legs and other body parts during some rides.

But, this challenge helped me rediscover the joy of being behind those bars. And I experienced the benefit of applying the following seven principles in successfully pursuing a goal.

1. Enjoy the journey and celebrate every step of the way.

On two occasions, I rode less than the target of 30 KMs. At the end of day 11, my bike computer read 100 KMs. No matter the distance, I celebrated every day I made it out to ride.

2. Failure can be inevitable, but giving up is a choice.

I felt déjà vu when I broke my streak on day 12. I chose not to ride on day 13. And no matter how days I missed, I got back up.

3. Never give up on your dreams.

Cycling is only a hobby, but I dream of cycling until I am old and grey. I am not young now and already grey. But you get my drift. I did not let the setbacks make me give up on that dream.

4. The first step is the most important.

The Chinese say, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.” I needed the first ride. A kid learning to walk needs the first step. If you want to write a book, it starts with the first sentence. A long career begins with the first job. So whatever your dream is, take the first step in that direction.

5. Aim for progress, not perfection.

Recording more KMs was the progress I needed more than posting fast times. You might not get it right every time, but keep going.

6. It is not how you start but how you finish.

Be realistic with yourself and take baby steps making 1% improvements daily. It is better to start slow and finish strong than to start strong and never finish.

7. Keep moving forward.

Go fast, go slow, pause but never go backward. Keep moving in the direction of your goal or dream.

Your goal might be more serious, meaningful and complicated than completing a 30-day cycling challenge. But, whether that goal is to start a business, pursue a passion project or grow your career, you will need to understand commitment, perseverance and what it means to trust the process. I learnt that from those principles. And I hope they will help you be resilient and focused on your dreams during this festive season.

Happy holidays!

Two (2) Book recommendations

Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

Here are two of my favourite on building habits and being resilient.

a) Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear

“A supremely practical and useful book. James Clear distils the most fundamental information about habit formation, so you can accomplish more by focusing on less.” — Mark Mason

b) Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

A worthy re-read and reference manual that presents perseverance as a crucial success ingredient.

Three (3) Citations

Photo by eleni koureas on Unsplash

Here are three quotes to remind you never to give up, to find the inner strength to get back up after every fall and keep moving forward.

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” ― Margaret Thatcher

“It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.” ― Dieter F. Uchtdorf

“Do not judge me by my success. Judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” ― Nelson Mandela

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How to Lead a Team in Creating Something Memorable

“People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude.”

“With upright heart, he shepherded them and guided them with his skilful hand.”  — Ps 78:72

Source: Khaleej Times (https://www.khaleejtimes.com/uae/duba...)

About three weeks ago, I participated in a memorable event in Dubai. Imagine the Mayor of New York City closing off Fifth Avenue for six hours. Or Oxford Street in London closed off for five hours. That is what happened on 6 November on Sheik Zayed Road in Dubai.

From kids with training wheels to adults with body-hugging kits, carbon fibre bikes took over the busiest road in Dubai for about six hours of cycling. Music was blasting from all directions, camera lights flashing, and drones flying. It was a cycling carnival — individuals, families and groups all playing for a TV moment. I was no exception.

Like a toddler released from grounding, I had my “no hands” stunt, cycling in sync with the music beats with my hands in the air. But that did not get me my moment of fame, maybe because I did not have a flashy kit. Luckily, I wore the red and black team top of the DXB Riders group. The DXB Riders stole the headlines.

Sheik Zayed Road looked like a sea after sharks devoured a school of seals. DXB riders in all manner of bikes filled the seven lanes breadth going back 20 or more rows back. The press could not resist; other cyclists stopped to get clicks in, and onlookers from tens of storeys up zoomed in to capture the spectacle.

I realised that if we are talking about the DXB riders showing at the 2022 Dubai Ride three weeks later, there must be something to learn from how the group did it.

Standing out from a crowd of almost 35,000 cyclists to form a sea of red on the famous Sheik Zayed Road resulted from impeccable planning, teamwork and, most of all, exceptional leadership. It captures the essence of John C Maxwell’s postulation about leadership.

“Everything rises and falls on leadership.” ­– John C Maxwell

The chairman of DXB riders’ leadership style delivered that memorable ride planned down to the T. Immediately after the ride in 2021, he talked about how amazing it would be for the DXB Riders to command the breadth of the road in the 2022 ride. There he planted the seed. We had about 450 kits printed and shipped from India. Volunteers distributed to members. Planning of meeting points and meeting times. All went delightfully according to plan from seamless coordination of activities.

While the event was memorable because it was:

- Simple: there were no technical rules, no racing and no medals. Riders only had to bring their bikes, have their helmets and ride.

- Visually appealing: the pictures were stunning.

- Emotional: Riders of all ages were happy to roll their wheels on the road.

The following five principles from my favourite John C Maxwell’s books on leadership explain how the DXB Riders chairman led the group to achieve such an epic ride.

1. Take a keen interest in developing your team.

Everyone turned out for the occasion because they believed the leader in interested in their development.

“Good leadership isn’t about advancing yourself. It’s about advancing your team.”

2. Be genuinely interested in the welfare and well-being of your team.

The founder and chairman of DXB Riders ensure the group engages in other social activities than cycling. We celebrate birthdays, newborn babies and other personal achievements. The team shows up because of the family bond created from genuine care from the top.

“When you like people and treat them like individuals who have value, you begin to develop influence with them. You develop trust.”

3. Empower your team.

Someone else other than the chairman had all the logistical support to distribute the team jerseys. And someone else facilitate team meetings and planning activities. Team members had all they needed to execute their assigned roles.

“A leader is great not because of his or her power, but because of his or her ability to empower others.”

4. Lead by example.

At 2 AM the chairman was at the starting point for an event starting at 4 AM. First to arrive, last to leave, making sure everyone is okay.

“To lead any way other than by example, we send a fuzzy picture of leadership to others.

5. Lead with confidence

“We can do this.” “Let’s do this.” The leader of the group communicates clearly and confidently in a way that inspires action in the group. He was so confident that the group can pull off the huge ride that everyone bought into the idea.

“When the leader lacks confidence, the followers lack commitment.”

We are all leaders whether we know it, believe it or accept it. If you are a parent, you are a leader.

“The only definition of a leader is someone who has followers.” — Peter Drucker

If at any time you have had someone follow your lead, your idea or instruction, you are a leader. Even if no one follows you, you follow yourself. And I believe we must be good at leading ourselves before leading others successfully.

And if you want to lead yourself, a team or a group in creating something memorable, try practising the above five leadership principles.

Two (2) Book recommendations

Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

Here are two of my favourite John C Maxwell books on leadership. I hope they inspire you and me to lead and create something memorable.

a) The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You

Laws govern most things in life — the law of gravity, the law of sowing and reaping and there is the law of diminishing returns. Leadership is no exception. John C Maxwell expertly reveals his over three decades of leadership experience in these 21 leadership laws.

b) The 5 Levels of Leadership: Proven Steps to Maximise Your Potential

Do people follow you because they have to? Or do they follow you because of who you are and what you represent?

Leadership is not your job grade, title or level. But, as John C Maxwell puts it, your position is only the first level. This book shows the five Ps of leadership levels from position to pinnacle.

Three (3) Citations

Photo by eleni koureas on Unsplash

While on leadership, who best to cite than arguably the best subject matter expert and thought-leader of our time — John C Maxwell.

“If you are a leader, you should never forget that everyone needs encouragement. And everyone who receives it — young or old, successful or less-than-successful, unknown or famous — is changed by it.”

“People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.”

“Unless you want to carry the whole load yourself, you need to be developing leaders.”

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My First Giant, His Legacy and the Leadership Lessons He Taught Me

“If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”

“One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.”  — Ps 145:4

Photo by Any Lane

Sometimes the seemingly simplest acts have the most profound impact on our lives. I will be honest. I experienced this first-hand when I was but a boy striving to be the best man he could be.

Replaying that fateful incident fills me with pride and great fondness. Thirty years ago, I would not have predicted where that special gesture would lead me in my journey. But now, I am sure it is what led me to the career I have, the businesses I have built, and it led me to you, my audience.

“If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” — Sir Isaac Newton.

My first giant was my primary (elementary) school headteacher — Mr Maurice Charlie Hinga. His exceptional teaching skills, doing it the “African way” when necessary, laid the foundation during my formative elementary years. And the slickness of his pen strokes scribbled the words of the first important letter I held in my hands.

Five years after leaving Mr Hinga’s tutelage, I completed high school with good enough grades to get to four or five years of university or two years of advanced level (senior high school) education. After deciding on the financially viable option of not attending university, I need some guidance on my advanced-level options. My parents and others advised me to speak with Mr Hinga. What if he says no? I queried mom. “If you do not ask, you will never know. Prepare for a no, and if you get an affirmative answer, you will.” No surprises there coming from my mama.

I was now grown and bold to face my headteacher. Wrong. Those 200 meters were the longest and most unnerving in my young life. I was reciting my lines as I walked from our house down the road to see Mr Hinga. Everything in my peripheral view was blurred out. My heart was racing as if I had just finished a sprint over that distance. I wish I could even make up a story of what I said when I came face to face with the great man. But what I said does not matter.

Mr Hinga handed me a handwritten note to the principal of one of the most prestigious schools in the country. I could have given Usain Bolt a run for his money down those 200 meters with the letter in my hand. Okay, okay, Usain Bolt? Nah.

Me: Mum, I got the letter!

Mum: I told you, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I found out about the closing lines of Mr Hinga’s letter when the principal read it to me with a piercing look over his glasses with his head tilted slightly upwards.

“Dunstan is a bright and hand working student. I am sure if you admit him to your school, he will make you proud.” Typing out these words feels as if I am hearing them again. And I am filled with emotions because 25 years to this day, Mr Maurice Charlie Hinga received his recommendation letter for admission into heaven. And he made his maker proud.

Mr Hinga was my first giant. He made me stand on his shoulders when I needed to see beyond the financial barrier to my education.

“A legacy is created only when a person puts his organization into the position to do great things without him.” — John C Maxwell.

My former headteacher left a legacy that will outlive generations. Through his compelling vision, coaching and mentorship, he imbibes the passion for education and developing future leaders in his children. Today, the private elementary school run by his surviving children is graduating some of the best students in Sierra Leone. Their school has ranked consistently among the top three best schools in Sierra Leone by public exam results.

That is the legacy for which we should strive. A legacy that will outlive us, making a positive and lasting impact in nations worldwide.

Here are six ways I believe Mr Hinga used in building his legacy, which I think we can all learn:

1) Find your calling. What is the one thing that, if not done right, will unsettle and irritate you? Mr Hinga could not stand poor teaching habits.

2) Find your gift, talents and abilities. Do what comes naturally. My headteacher was a standout educator, a pacesetter.

3) Live your passion. Mr Hinga’s passion was so contagious that his children could not resist it. What is your passion?

4) Inspire others. A teacher’s job is the among, if not the least-paid jobs in the country. But, others became educators by watching Mr Hinga dispense his skills.

5) Work in the service of others. I was not the only beneficiary of Mr Hinga’s selfless service. Mr Hinga found joy in his students’ success. And he had plenty.

6) Be deliberate about leaving a legacy. You don’t leave a legacy by chance — you must purpose it.

If we could all be someone’s giant, lead others selflessly and apply the above six practices, we could make the world better.

Two (2) Book recommendations

Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

Want to build a lasting legacy? These books would be a good place to start.

a) Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies — by Jim Collins and Jerry I Porras

I am reading this book because I want to build a thriving business that will survive well beyond my lifetime. Built To Last is my reference guide packed with specific and practical examples of what sets exceptional companies apart from the rest.

If you want to build a lasting business, I suggest you grab this book.

b) The Speed Of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything — by Stephen M R Covey

I have not read this book nor reviewed any summaries about it. So, let us flip the script here.

But I picked it because I believe trust is central to successful leadership. And this title nails it without turning a leaf.

I would love for you to tell me your key takeaways after reading it in comments to this newsletter, my Facebook page or my Instagram page.

Three (3) Citations

Photo by eleni koureas on Unsplash

These quotes will help you think about how to build your legacy.

“What is your legacy? Are you intentional about the sort of influence you want to have on the world around you? Being aware of how you want to be remembered gives you a perspective on what is truly important. Leadership is influence, and relationships are the foundation of leadership. Nothing is more predictive of your legacy than the quality of people you surround yourself with.” —  John C Maxwell

“The greatest act of leadership is mentoring. No matter how much you may learn, achieve, accumulate, or accomplish, if it all dies with you, then you are a generational failure.” —  Myles Munroe

“The secret to greatness is in serving everyone else.” —  Myles Munroe

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The Aladdin Effect — How An Entrepreneur Raised Startup Capital on a Train

The Aladdin Effect — How An Entrepreneur Raised Startup Capital on a Train

“Mastering this powerful skill can launch your business and career.”

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  — Matt 7:7

Photo by Tatiana Syrikova

How would you use your three wishes if you faced the genie out of the lamp? Ok, I hear you; that is a fairy tale. But, while the genie is a fantastical character, we encounter the symbolic situation daily. We miss those opportunities because we are unaware or untrained to spot them.

Listening to Jack Canfield explain the “Aladdin Factor”, I realised asking is a skill.

Although I was fortunate to learn this skill early from my mum, I did not realise that becoming dexterous would be essential to my career toolbox. In my book, Joy Has Come Home, I talked about my experience preparing for college. At that time, Dad was out of work, and mum’s teacher’s pay was not forthcoming. We had no money, but dad was reluctant to ask for help from a distant relative because he was almost sure of getting a negative answer. And here was a teaching moment from Mum engraved on my mind, she said.

“Go find out. If you don’t ask, you will not know. And prepare for a “no” answer. Then, if that happens, there will be less pain. But, if he says yes, then it is a win.”

After agreeing to meet our relative, mum and dad brainstormed what day of the week, what time of the day and where would be the best place for dad to pitch his request.

That situation replayed in my head while listening to a story about a New York City entrepreneur raising funding for his startup on a train.

According to Jack Canfield, after being turned down by banks, the budding entrepreneur had to look elsewhere for the funds to finance his idea. He screened his options with the following questions:

- Where do rich people in the New York City area go every day? He found that most do not live in the area and commute into the city.

- Then, how do they get into the city? They ride the train.

- Are people in a more giving mode in the mornings or evenings? Experience shows it’s mainly in the mornings.

So, the young man started taking the train in the morning into the NYC area in search of qualified investors. He pitched to everyone who answered yes to his question — “are you a qualified investor?”

In three days, he was able to raise the money he needed for what became a multi-million US Dollar company.

Mastering the skill of asking is the one skill you need to help you turn adversity into opportunity. It can give us access to the instructions, support and guidance we need to progress at work or grow our business; we can go out on more dates and get help promoting a social cause of interest.

Not knowing how to ask for help can be from selfish motives, thinking about ourselves and not the other person. We do not ask because we don’t want to look stupid, we fear rejection or we are simply trying to figure things out. But asking is not only for us. Asking also gives people the opportunity to say yes. And saying yes can be a rewarding and fulfilling feeling.

In my case, my dad asked for the help we needed with my first-year tuition fees. His exciting news was greeted with the familiar “I told you so” speech from mum. Dad found that his “cousin” was pleased that we “gave him the opportunity to contribute to my education. All my dad needed was to know how to ask.

Master the powerful skill of asking for your proverbial “three wishes” by practising:

1) Be clear about the help you need. No fluff, no fiction — go straight to the point.

2) Know your audience. If this sounds familiar, it is. Asking for help is like presenting.

3) Don’t spray and pray. Don’t ask sporadically and randomly, hoping to get lucky. Know the people who can provide the help you need.

4) Provide value

5) Be grateful when you get the help you need. Gratitude will create a virtuous cycle.

6) Don’t be selfish. Understand that asking gives the other person the opportunity to have a fulfilling and rewarding experience.

Are you looking for help to grow your business or advance your career? Do you need to build productive relationships? Would you like to go on more dates?

Develop the ability and confidence to ask. Know when, where and how to ask. This skill will give you access to the resources you need to do what you want.

Your magic genie may be in front of you.

Two (2) Book recommendations

Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

Check out these books to learn how to master the skill of asking.

a) The Aladdin Factor: How to Ask for What You Want — and Get It — by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

Jack and Mark started an initiative called Trees Around the World to counter deforestation worldwide. According to Jack, they planted 250,000 trees a few years ago in Yellowstone National Park — the world’s first national park with 2.2 million acres. Their system is simple — they asked for US$ 1 per tree from people who bought their books or attended their seminars.

That story made me grab a copy of “The Aladdin Factor.” This book “helps us by pinpointing the major stumbling blocks to asking―and teaching simple techniques to overcome them.” (Amazon summary).

b) Dream Job: 48 Days to a Six-Figure Income — by Dan Miller

I would have been sceptical of the title if I did not first hear Dan Miller’s “three reasons why we should not just sit around waiting for good luck to show up.”

Dan promises that:

“No matter what age you are, what work you’re doing right now, or how long you’ve been doing it, you CAN find or create the ideal work for you. Best of all, you can do it a LOT faster and a whole lot more EASILY than you probably think.”

Three (3) Citations

Photo by eleni koureas on Unsplash

Help is on the way, but don’t wait for it. These quotes will help you take action and not expect luck.

“Don’t wait on perfect conditions for success to happen, just go ahead and do something. And don’t settle for failure; look for how you can turn a setback into an opportunity.” —  Dan Miller

“People don’t give because nobody asks.” —  Jack Canfield

“I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances, be more active, show up more often.” —  Brian Tracy

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A Philosopher’s Simple Conditions for Achieving Your Goals

“7Cs that will help you Thrive in relationships, work and business.”

“May he grant you your heart’s desire and fulfil all your plans.”  — Ps 20:4

Photo by Archie Binamira

If you are looking for a shortcut, no sweat or how to become an overnight success, you should stop reading now. But, if you are interested in finding a simple, time-tested approach to achieving true and lasting success, then the following five minutes investment of your time will be well worth it.

Over the past weekend, I picked up one of the longest books in my Audio library. The Entrepreneur Master Course has been a gem in my self-study of developing my entrepreneur skillset. After four non-consecutive hours into this 12 hours masterclass, I came across what I felt made the entire course worth it, even if I did not listen to anything afterwards.

I am not a fan of philosophy, per se. But I have heard about Jordan Peterson and read one of his books. The world-famous footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo, recently consulted Mr Perterson to help him with some issues he is facing. Yet, I had to ask myself, why am I only learning about Professor Tom Morris now? His insights are too powerful to miss.

“Independent thinkers have been disruptors for centuries… Can their abilities be available to help us today?”

Within five minutes of that chapter, Professor Morris answered this question with his distilled research of the likes of Plato, Aristotle and Seneca.

Professor Morris’ 7C framework will help you answer some of the most common questions about success.

“What is true success? What is deep satisfaction? What is fulfilment? How can I make my mark?

According to Prof Tom Morris, “it struck me as remarkable that the wisest people in every century have recognised the same seven universal conditions for success.”

Here is his “simple framework of seven universal conditions for success”, which will make the difference between you and those who seem to be struggling to achieve their goals.

1) Clarity

To attain anything, we must first be clear on what we want. Then we must design a detailed plan of how to achieve it. Like building a house, we cannot start without a blueprint.

First Condition: “A clear CONCEPTION of what we want, a vivid vision, a goal clearly imagined.”

2) Confidence

Studies have shown that all create champions start with an unwavering belief in their abilities. From Mohammad Ali to Michael Jordan — they believed in themselves. They were competent at their craft and confident to set audacious goals.

Mohammad Ali did not shy away from saying — “I am the greatest!”

Second Condition: “A strong CONFIDENCE that we can attain the goal.”

3) Concentration

The advice of “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” is a recipe for distraction. We spread ourselves thin when we try to “keep our options open.” And chasing more than one thing at a time could lead to distraction, and we risk not succeeding at any. Climb the ladder of success one rung at a time.

Third Condition: “A focused CONCENTRATION on what it takes to reach the goal.”

4) Consistency

We instinctively take consistency to mean doing one act or thing repeatedly without breaking a pattern or routine, like going to the gym every morning. But, Prof Morris opened up about the profound meaning of the word.

“The word ‘consistency’ comes from two Greek roots, a verb meaning “to stand” and a particle meaning “together.” Consistency is all about standing together.”

To enjoy true success, we must say what we do and do what we say. If I say I want to build wealth, I must not spend money I don’t have.

Fourth Condition: “A stubborn CONSISTENCY in pursuing our vision.”

5) Commitment

Without commitment, driven by passion, we will give up at the first sign of difficulty. And we will face challenges, complications and failure. Genuine passion and love for what we do will keep us moving forward and the courage to keep back up after every knockdown.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Commitment is what keeps you going.” — Jim Rohn

Fifth Condition: “An emotional COMMITMENT to the importance of what we’re doing.

6) Character

Steven R Covey talks about character ethics meaning to align one’s values with “universal and timeless” principles such as fairness, integrity, honesty and truthfulness, and treating people with respect.

“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.” — Oprah Winfrey

Sixth Condition: “A good CHARACTER to guide us and keep us on a proper course.

7) Celebrate

Delay gratification but celebrate small wins along the way. Every step in the right direction is progress. Celebrate it, but don’t stay there. Enjoy going to practice, enjoy going to work, enjoy serving your customers.

“Enjoy the journey, not the destination.” Bishop T D Jakes

Seventh Condition: “A CAPACITY TO ENJOY the process along the way.”

You will increase your chances of achieving your goals or fulfilling your dreams if you are clear about what you want, you are confident you have what it takes to pursue it, you align your words and action, you are passionate about your goal, you work with integrity, and you dare to celebrate along the way, then you are a long way ahead in realising true success.

Two (2) Book recommendations

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Here are two book recommendations that I believe will change how we live, work and play.

a) True Success: A New Philosophy of Excellence — by Professor Tom Morris

This book packs a punch. The renowned Notre Damn philosophy professor, Tom Morris, unpacks his 7Cs framework — “seven basic concepts that are essential to meeting life’s challenges.” From clarity to character, these are time-tested principles and practices that great thinkers of our time and before us have outlined as their conditions for success.

b) The Entrepreneur Master Course — by Nightingale Conant (A Personal Development Company)

This book is what it title says — a master course, but not entrepreneurs alone. The acronym RISE forms the book’s principles, with lessons from subject matter experts and best-selling authors. Having this book is like having my mentors in my pocket.

What does RISE stand for — grab a copy!

Three (3) Citations

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Here are three profound quotes from Prof Tom Morris from his 7Cs of success:

“No wind blows fair for a ship that has no port.” —  Seneca

“The one thing all champions share is Precursive Faith — faith that runs ahead of the evidence.” —  William James

“The three most common causes of persistent inconsistency are: Ignorance, Indifference, and Inertia. Only the power of the imagination can overcome inertia, the entrenched power of habit.” —  Prof Tom Morris

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Face Your Weakness to Find Your Strength

There are no absolutes in life, work and business

“…whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies..”  — Heb 11:34

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Not every day do we see grown men cry in front of a global audience. I guess they also moved most of those who witnessed it to tears. They did not hold back on their emotions. How could they on such a historic, possibly, once-in-a-lifetime moment?

Watching the celebration of greatness in one person was the perfect anecdote for the flurry of depressing, soul-sapping news around us. The way his biggest rivals and worthy contenders for the greatest of all time in his sport celebrated his glorious career made the occasion extra special.

Roger Federer took to the tennis court for the last time, with Andy Murray, Nova Djokovic and Rafa Nadal, among others, forming Team Europe to take on Team World in Roger’s final professional match at the O2 Arena in London on 23 September 2022. It was simply magical.

The greatest of all time had to win the final match of his career, or so we hoped. But, he did not. Roger and Nadal could not stand the firepower and energy of their much younger opponents in Jack Sock and Frances Tiafoe. But that did nothing to spoil the bigger picture. Federer rose to the top of his game without any favours, and he did not expect one now. And rightly so, Jack and Frances owed no apologies for their right to be there, to compete, and to win.

That is just one of many lessons that a fantastic, vastly talented group of tennis players taught us on the night they bid farewell to arguably the most outstanding sportsman of our generation.

Then I cast my mind back to another tennis great who called it quits earlier this month (September 2022). Coincidentally, Serena Williams also lost her final match during the third round of the 2022 US Open. And the emotions and tears were equally as high and intense. Serena’s post-match ensured no dry eyes were in the stadium that night. She showed that more than an outstanding tennis player, she is a great human being. Her praise for her mum and dad and the recognition of her elder sister’s role showed us the mind of a true champion.

So, I ask. What is it that made Roger and Serena so successful? What made them such huge influences beyond the confines of their sport? And what can we learn from their careers?

Finding answers to those questions led me to the “playbook” of one of Serena’s long-time coaches — Patrick Mouratoglou. Patrick coached Serena to 10 grand slams in 10 years. Patrick was coach of the year four times and coached more than 40 players into the top 10 rankings.

Through all those accolades and experience in creating true champions, Patrick laid out these five principles as the fundamentals of success.

1) Your greatest weakness can become your greatest strength

Patrick saw his biggest weakness as his shyness and lack of self-confidence. To compensate for that weakness, he developed a keen sense of reading people’s emotions and body language. Reading people from a distance became his biggest strength, making him such a successful coach.

“So, it’s all about what you do with what happens to you.”

2) Never be afraid to take risks

Serena contacted Patrick after she had won 13 grand slams. Patrick guided her to win ten more grand slams. He credited the long tenure of his coaching relationship with Serena because he was not scared of losing his job. He could be direct with Serena without the fear of getting the sack.

“I accept to make mistakes because I take risks, and because I am not scared.”

3) Mistakes are inevitable but don’t let them define you

Serena self-destructs in front of a fully packed stadium and millions of TV viewers during a 2018 US Open match in New York. She was fined US$ 17,000 for an infringement by her coach, Patrick. Patrick later publicly admitted he broke the rules — he made a mistake.

“Failure and frustration are two of the best things that can happen to you if you handle them the right way. And then you gonna learn.”

4) Emotions are the worst advisors

Patrick developed an incredible relationship with Marcos Baghdatis from when Marcos was 13 years old until he was 23. He coached Marcos from the 300-ranked player to the top ten in the world. But, their 10+ years relationship broke after Marcos told Patrick he wanted to cut down on his training regime.

Patrick says his angry outburst to Marcos’ decision to work less is what broke their relationship. Something he regretted, letting pushing away someone who was like a son to him.

“To have emotions is not a problem. To let them make the decisions for you, this is wrong.”

5) Deeply believe in yourself, and don’t give up

Having won four coach-of-the-year awards and coached more than 40 players into the top 10 in the world ranking, this is what Patrick looks for in a player who can make it to the top:

“The first qualities I would look at are her ambition, but I don’t listen to what she says. I try to hear what she thinks because they all say they want to be number one. But most of them don’t believe it. I’m looking for people who deeply believe in themselves and would not give up.”

6) Believe it, and you will achieve it

Serena was playing poorly at a Wimbledon match, losing points at the net. Patrick observed that Serena’s confidence was waning. Then, Patrick told Serena in practice for her next game that according to the statistics, Serena was winning 80% of the points when she approached the net. Serena believed Patrick and, from then on, became aggressive at the net. She went on to win Wimbledon that year because she believed she was good at the net, acted on that belief and became super aggressive at the net.

“I knew that if she thought her stats were good, the day after that, she would play ten times better.”

In the end, there is ONE thing that matters most. It is the biggest life lesson — it is what makes separates the champions from the rest of the field.

“Everything depends on you. And if you think like that, whatever you start to do in life, it’s magic!”

Two (2) Book recommendations

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Here are two book recommendations that will help you in finding your purpose and making an impact:

a) The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? — by Rick Warren

b) Difference Makers: How to Live a Life of Impact and Purpose — by Gregg Matte

Three (3) Citations

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Here are three profound quotes from “A Coach’s Rules for Life.”

“I had to remind her who she is. Nothing could stop her, and no one could stop her —  Patrick Moratoglou

“I’m not putting pressure on you about “we have to win” but we cannot lose.” —  Jose Mourinho

“Sometimes you have to take steps that make you uncomfortable to understand where you are and where you wanna be.” —  Dawn Staley

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Five Success Principles from the Coach’s Playbook

“Pressure is a privilege, embrace it.”

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.”  — Phil 3:13

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“I’m human. And I’m gonna make mistakes.”

That statement got me hooked to Netflix for 35 minutes straight. Who said those words?

I was chatting with a friend while enjoying my team, Arsenal, winning their third consecutive game of the new season. I know but stay with me on this one. The halftime banter got us talking about the impact of coaches on their teams. Then my friend recommended I watch “The Playbook” series on Netflix. I am glad I did, albeit reluctantly at first.

“The Playbook” is a five-episode series showing “A Coach’s Rules for Life” from five remarkable coaches who have left an indelible legacy in their sports. Patrick Mouratoglou shared some profound rules on how he got one of the greatest tennis players of all time, Serena Williams, to up her game. After listening to Jose Mourinho, I begrudgingly agree that he is the “special one.” I could see that a coach like him would bring the best out of my son’s talent.

One of Mr Mourinho’s principles I will apply to my son for his games is this. Mourinho says he tells his players not to feel pressured to win a difficult match. But they should not lose.

But, the episode I have watched thrice now is the first of the five with one of the most respected and accomplished coaches in the history of US basketball.

The manner of the comeback in that final game and the handling of probably the biggest scandal in sporting history were the two things that drew me into “Doc” Rivers’ profound principles for success.

Glenn Anton “Doc” Rivers, a former player, won the 2000 NBA Coach of the Year in the second season of his coaching career. His most remarkable feat would be winning the 2008 NBA Championship with the Boston Celtics against Angeles Lakers. That year the Lakers had the late Kobe Bryant and coach Phil Jackson who holds the record for most championships with 11 wins. Although the Celtics won 4–2, it was no easy win. With the series at 3–2 in favour of the Celtics, The final game was a must-win for both teams. The Lakers needed to win to stay in the series, while the Celtics needed to win to take the championship. It was the Celtics’ win after 22 years.

Then in 2013, “Doc” Rivers moved to coach the Los Angeles Clippers, leading them to a record 57 wins in his first season. Then, in his second season, “Doc” had to lead his team through a scandal that reverberated beyond the basketball field. He and his team had to deal with a leaked audiotape of their owner’s racist rant against blacks. And the scandal broke on the eve of one of their big playoff games.

How do you go on to work for a person who demeans people of your race and colour? It took courage, resilience, and a firm belief in one’s values and principles to look beyond insensitive remarks of what President Obama called “an ignorant folk.”

Here are my top five picks of “Doc” Rivers’ rules for life which we can adopt as life principles in our pursuit of purpose, success and happiness.

1) Finish the race

Rivers’ teacher sent him home as a kid because he wrote on the board that he wanted to be a pro basketball player. The teacher believed Rivers was too lazy to amount to anything. And his dad agreed with the teacher.

While his dad was taking him back to school, he said to Glenn, “Whatever goal you have; when you do settle on one, just finish the race.”

So, Glenn had a third chance to write his goal on the board with his dad watching. He chalked, “I want to be a pro basketball player.”

And he finished his race with aplomb.

2) Don’t be a victim

This rule guided his resolve in getting over the racist scandal of his employer. The world waited for his team’s reaction — will they play or not? Most called for the team to boycott the playoffs.

After using a “French” word I cannot repeat, Glenn Rivers said this to his players:

“… I will be damned if we’re gonna allow that guy to get into my dream and end that. So, it’s your choice. But; Donald Sterling wins if we don’t play.”

The players mounted a protest but went on the play. And pundits weighed in to vindicate their decision to play.

“You learn. You don’t forget. But you can never be a victim.” — Glenn “Doc” Rivers

3) Ubuntu

“You need to look this up and study it. It’s not a word, Doc. Look the word up and then become it.” A lady said to coach Rivers introducing him to “Ubuntu.”

“We have something in our African community. It is called Ubuntu. Ubuntu is the essence of being human. And it says a solitary being is a contradiction in terms. I have to learn from other human beings how to be human — Bishop Desmond Tutu

4) Pressure is a privilege

“Doc” Rivers focused a permanent spotlight on a bare spot on a wall where they would put a banner if they win their 17th title. That unflinching light put pressure on the players whenever they walked into the arena. At the end of that season, they beat the Los Angeles Lakers 4–2 to clinch their 17th title and put a banner on the spot where the light shone.

“Why are we doing what we are doing if we are not trying to be successful? You should feel privileged that you’ve worked hard enough to put yourself in that situation. You should embrace it, you should enjoy it, and you should understand it’s hard.” — Glenn “Doc Rivers

5) Champions keep moving forward

Facing Phil Jackson in the 2008 NBA finals was classed a “heavyweight match-up.” Phil Jackson was probably the best basketball coach at the time. And the Lakers had Kobe Bryant. An unlikely contest for the Celtics.

“I figured, if I’m gonna beat him, I needed to get up, keep fighting and keep moving forward.” — Glenn “Doc” Rivers

The Celtics overturned a 24 points deficit in the 2nd quarter to pull off what the commentator called “one of the greatest comebacks in the history of the NBA and win by six points in a 97–91scoreline.

At the end of that historic final, “Doc” recalled a great lesson he learned that day. “Whenever you try to win a title, you have to put your heart on the line.

If you want to succeed in your career, business, and life, you must finish whatever you start, don’t let anyone or anything pull you back or take your eyes off the prize. You are not an island, you need other people, and others need you. Embrace the pressure, get back up every time you fall and always wear your heart on your sleeve, giving your best.

No matter the outcome, you can hold your head up and say you gave your best. And that is success.

Two (2) Book recommendations

Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash

Here are two book recommendations that will help you in finding your purpose and making an impact:

a) The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? — by Rick Warren

b) Difference Makers: How to Live a Life of Impact and Purpose — by Gregg Matte

Three (3) Citations

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Here are three profound quotes from “A Coach’s Rules for Life.”

“Not me, we. I was where I was supposed to be because somebody else was where they were supposed to be. And If we’re going to win, that’s how we’re gonna win —  Kevin Garnett

“If you are prepared for the worst, you are prepared.” —  Jose Mourinho

“Sometimes you have to take steps that make you uncomfortable to understand where you are and where you wanna be.” —  Dawn Staley

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Seven Habits to Building Fortunes for the Future

“Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow.” — Prov 13:11

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One of my favourite meals as a kid was a loaf of bread and avocado. And about three decades later, my fondness for that recipe has not waned. The sight of avocados still fills me with childlike excitement. The only thing new is that I now know mashed avocado is called guacamole. I would never pass up the chance to buy avos on a diner’s menu, vegetable stall or grocery store shelf.

But my 18 years old daughter shouted the childish grin off my face during our last visit to the supermarket. I was shocked, amazed and happy all at once.

My wife asked me to take the kids to get some bread, milk and beverages from the supermarket close to our home. I was to be the Uber driver because my daughter knew what to buy. I decided to stroll around the aisles at the store while they picked up the needed items. Then, as I walked past the spreads section, there it was! — a bowl of spicy guacamole. With a bowl in hand and a grin on my face, I walked up to put my choice spread in the shopping basket my daughter was carrying. The following brief conversation left me with some food for thought.

Sophia: “Dad! What are you doing with that?” She inquired as if I had just dropped contraband in the basket.

Me: Don’t you know guacamole, girl? It is my favourite spread.

Sophia: Dad, please take it back; that’s a waste of money. I will DIY some for you from the avos at home.

Me: It is not the same thing, Sophia. This brand is spicy.

Sophia: Well, mum has chillies at home too.

Me: Grrr! Okay.

I smiled for a different reason during the long walk back to the spread section. I was shocked that my daughter would deny me my tiny pleasure, although I was the one paying. I had to make sure no one was close to me before imagining how such a conversation would have ended between my dad and me. After that thought, I had to rub my face to check that my right cheek was still intact.

I was amazed and happy that my girl was becoming money savvy. That was the second of such exchanges between us. The first time, she refused to buy a sweater for herself because she “could get it cheaper at the China mart and she could print her design on it at mummy’s print shop.”

“Be mindful when the amounts are small.” — Jim Rohn

If she has that awareness, discipline and frugal mindset at age 18, she is on her way to personal financial success.

Enjoying our sumptuous homemade guacamole, I talked Sophia through the following seven habits of financially independent people, which I gleaned from a book by Mary Hunt and learned from Jim Rohn. And I trust these habits will also help you build fortunes for your future.

Financial independence is “the ability to live from the income of your resources.”  — Jim Rohn.

1) Spend less than you earn. Best to consistently live below your means. And if you must borrow, let it be part of a strategy and not out of habit. “If your outgo exceeds your income, your upkeep becomes your downfall.” — Jim Rohn

2) Have a formula for saving, giving and spending. Some people recommend allocating your income into 10% for giving, 20% for saving and 70% for spending. The habit of doing all three is more important than the numbers.

3) Anticipate the unexpected and plan accordingly. Prepare for irregular and unplanned expenses such as repairs, medical bills, etc. This habit will minimise the shock and surprise that come from such costs.

4) Prepare a personal budget. Preparing a budget helps you to be proactive instead of reactive. You will identify your source(s) of income and plan where you will spend it.

5) Manage your creditworthiness. While you should not borrow involuntarily or habitually, you must maintain creditworthiness that will ensure you can access finance when you must borrow.

6) Borrow only what you can repay. In the same way, you should not spend more than you earn; you should not borrow beyond the amount you will be able to repay. Also, borrow for long-term strategic reasons like business loans and not short-term luxury items.

7) Practice personal financial planning. Assess your current financial situation — how much you own and owe. Define your financial goals — saving for retirement or starting a business. Then create a plan and act on it. And always review progress against your objectives and target, reevaluate your goals and be flexible enough to revise your plans if need be.

If you consistently inculcate the above habits, you will have the discipline to suppress the urge to spend, which will help you to avoid unmanageable debt and ensure your finances are always under your control.

And that is how you will slowly but surely build up enough savings for your future, your retirement and your family.

Two (2) Book recommendations

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The following books will help you in your drive to achieve financial independence.

a) 7 Money Rules for Life: How to Take Control of Your Financial Future — by Mary Hunt

According to a study, 77% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck (hand to mouth). 43% have less than US$ 10,000 saved for retirement. And less than 49% would have money after less than a month without a job. I don’t think these numbers would be much different for the rest of the world. If you want to avoid being part of those statistics, I encourage you to read 7 Money Rules for Life.

“This no-nonsense and encouraging book gives readers the keys to get their money under control and get prepared financially for the rest of their lives.” — excerpt from Amazon

b) The Financial Planning Puzzle: Fitting Your Pieces Together to Create Financial Freedom — by Jason Silverberg

Here is the one paragraph in the foreword of this book that made me add this book to my Kindle collection.

“In The Financial Planning Puzzle, Jason walks you through the various aspects of your financial life. He takes you step-by-step, as your financial coach, through all the facets of financial planning without overwhelming you. Jason will help you understand the what, why and how of your financial life. He provides everything you need to take control of your finances and, most importantly, take action.” — Brian P. Moran

Three (3) Citations

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These three quotes will make you rethink your approach and attitude towards financial independence and help you take action.

To become financially independent, you must turn part of your income into capital; turn capital into enterprise; turn enterprise into profit; turn profit into investment, and turn investment into financial independence.” — Jim Rohn

“Your economic security does not lie in your job; it lies in your own power to produce — to think, to learn, to create, to adapt. That’s true financial independence. It’s not having wealth; it’s having the power to produce wealth.” — Stephen Covey

“You must gain control over your money, or the lack of it will forever control you.” — Dave Ramsey

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The Most Expensive Free Resource That Will Determine Your Success

When you do a thing is more important than how you do it

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”  — Ecc 3:1

Photo by Boris Pavlikovsky

I am grappling with a life-defining decision. My thirteen years old son wants to leave home to go after his dream. How would you advise I respond to this request? Let me give you a little background to help.

After a two-year absence, I am relishing my time at home with the family. I have come to appreciate better the simple things I would before take for granted. Having family dinner, watching TV together and driving to and from school feels refreshing and fulfilling.

One day, I had to pick up my daughter from a late afternoon after-school activity. While she was waiting, her friends asked her how she would be getting home. “My dad is picking me up,” she replied. My daughter later told her mum that she felt great being able to say to her friends, “my dad is picking me up.”

That made me feel the pain of my long absence. Yet, I am grateful to be around to help them in deciding on the next critical step in their young adult lives. Understandably, my eldest daughter is preparing for university life. I am happy to be here asking the questions that will unfold the answers she needs.

David’s situation is unexpected and unfamiliar. I was not thinking of having the “leaving-home” conversation with him just yet. He just turned 13! But he was prepared. He decided he wants to go to an academy in Spain to develop his skills and have a chance of making a football (soccer) career.

The five games I have watched him play were an absolute delight. My head could not fit into the car after the praise and admiration from other parents. On that evidence, I had to agree to meet with his coach to discuss what was next for David. The meeting was lovely. And David waited anxiously to hear what we had agreed with his coach. So, after dinner, my wife and I had an adult talk with the newest teenager in the building.

We laid out two conditions. First, education is a must — no compromise, no negotiation and no buts. You need a proper education if football does not work out. You need an excellent education to manage your affairs if football works out. And you also need a sound education to manage life after football.

The second condition was timing. We said to David, “to increase your chances of making it as a professional player, the timing of your move is vital.” If you move too soon, you will deflate your confidence and may never recover. There are examples of players who moved to new clubs too early and never fulfilled their potential. Similarly, if you move too late, you might struggle to leave your comfort zone. David plays the keyboard, so we used the metaphor of playing music.

You must hit the notes at the perfect time to play a beautiful piece. Too early or too late, the music will be off-tune. So it is with life pursuits. Success depends on perfect time. He understood and agreed to spend another season with his club in South Africa before looking abroad.

I had dinner with an ambitious and hardworking gentleman on my recent and first visit to Gaborone, Botswana. I asked him how he decided to leave employment to start his IT firm, which now has local and international clients. He told me it was easier for him to take the risk because he was unmarried and had no dependants. He probably would not have done it if he had waited after starting a family. It was all about timing.

In career, business or life in general, discerning the right time to do a thing might be the superpower you need to succeed. Sometimes things can be by chance, but if we are deliberate, we can choose the perfect time to execute our dreams and desires by practising the following habits:

1) Don’t set unrealistic deadlines or targets. Young Dunstan set a target to become a CFO by 35. Then I realised I needed to build more skills to be a successful CFO. I got my first CFO job at 44. Was I nine years late?

2) Work hard, be disciplined and stay committed. Consistency over a long period breeds lasting success. Work on yourself, develop the skills and have the discipline to stay the course.

3) Resist instant gratification. Resist the urge to eat the marshmallow. Stay focused on the ultimate prize.

4) Study your environment, trends and patterns. David is taking the time to understand how the football system works. We are showing him trends, patterns and examples from current professional players.

5) Trust the process. We had to make David understand that he needs to go through a process to get to where he wants to go. It takes time to build anything good.

6) Be resilient and agile. You will face challenges and setbacks. But never back down on your dreams. You must keep moving, ask for help if you must, and take a break if you should. But never quit. Be ready to alter your approach but not the goal.

7) Be gentle with yourself; practice patience. You are not in a race with anyone. Know the difference between a deadline and the right time. Remember Colonel Sanders?

We all have 24 hours a day given to us at no charge. Yet, popular wisdom advises us to “spend time wisely.” You spend time because you cannot recover it after it is gone. And how you spend your time now might cost you later.

So whatever dreams you pursue and whatever you do, please do it well, do your best, and above all, do it at the right time.

Two (2) Book recommendations

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The following books will help you master critical thinking, make better decisions and learn how to do things at the perfect time.

a) When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing — by Daniel H Pink

Knowing when to quit your job to start your own business, when to write a book or, like my son, knowing when to start a football career; are all critical, life-defining decisions. Then, why leave it to chance, intuition or guesswork? Let Daniel Pink guide you with his research, relatable stories and practical advice into finding the “secrets of perfect timing.”

b) Thinking, Fast and Slow — by Daniel Kahneman

I recommend this book because I believe that discerning the perfect time requires critical thinking and decision-making skills. And we get things wrong through impatience and rushed choices. In Thinking, Fast and Slow, “Kahneman reveals where we can and cannot trust our intuitions and how we can tap into the benefits of slow thinking.”

Three (3) Citations

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Here are three quotes about perfect timing

“So much of life is not about whether you’re good or bad, or right or wrong, or can afford or not afford — it’s just about timing.” —  A. A. Gill

“If you want to go big in the business world, you need to have the right product at the right time.” —  Pooja Agnihotri

“Be careful not to compromise what you want most for what you want now.” —  Zig Ziglar

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